Get an inside look at the latest in home deals with Wayfair’s President’s Day clearance before Dana shifts gears to the world of firearms with Kel-Tec’s new PR57. The episode humorously explores political satire and Elon Musk’s mysterious link to misguided social rants, while also highlighting the contrasting leadership styles of historical figures in a lively discussion about presence and perception.
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SPEAKER 01 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 04 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 03 :
So this is weird. So this was the Florida Sun Sentinel. I didn’t have this on my list, but it’s a Florida boaters are claiming wrongful arrest and jail time for boating DUI, despite the fact that they were totally sober, not totally sober, but totally sober. It was in August. So they’ve been fighting this this whole time. It was in Jupiter, Florida, where a man took his wife, young kids and friends out on the river and And they ended up getting handcuffed. Their kids were crying. Florida Fish and Wildlife took them into custody. They said they were boating under the influence. Testing later found that he was totally sober. He didn’t drink. He doesn’t do drugs. In fact, he doesn’t drink because he’s like apparently a devout Christian. And he owns a Christian private equity company, and he’s a church elder. And so he’s a hardcore – he’s a teetotaler. He doesn’t do anything. But they – The guy told him, quote, listen, brother, you’re showing extreme signs of impairment. And the guy goes, because I’m nervous. I’m here with all my kids and you’re like, you know, doing what you’re doing. So the guy was just claiming that he was drunk, took him into custody. And now he’s trying to get the case expunged because prosecutors couldn’t file charges because the guy was sober. He blew zero point zero zero on a breathalyzer, but they still held him to until two thirty a.m. the next day. He tested negative for absolutely everything. And he’s one of the multiple cases over the last few years involving these boaters who say that they were arrested because the guys are apparently a little aggressive and people get nervous and they ended up having to fight these cases. That’s crazy. I think there needs to be a lawsuit filed for that. You’re going to have to make a very expensive lesson out of somebody in order to stop that kind of stuff. That’s what’s going to have to happen, unfortunately. This, let’s see. Oh, boy. This man, telling you about them gators, he survived a gator attack, like a full-blown gator attack, thanks to his neighbors. Southwest Florida man. This was in North Naples. And he says… He was because it took him five paragraphs to get into the story because the people here suck. Naples Daily News said the guy saw this alligator. He wasn’t really watching, but it came from nowhere. Its mouth open, bit down on his right leg, wouldn’t let go. It attacked him for several minutes. The neighbors saw they went out to fight off the gator and ended up saving his life. And so he was thanking his neighbors. But if you’re working around any body of water in Florida, including a tiny little puddle, giant gators are going to fly out of that puddle. You just got to… I don’t like their mouths. It’s so weird. It’s like pale chicken inside there. It’s just gross.
SPEAKER 04 :
That’s where all the teeth are.
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Oh, I don’t like them. A Florida man injured an endangered great white heron at a state park. He harmed it. It was a Bill Bragg State Park in Key Biscayne, 34-year-old Edgar Valenzuela. He wounded an endangered species because he was throwing rocks at it. So can I throw rocks at him? I would totally do that for free. giant rocks. I just throw right at him. And he was fishing in the park. He got mad because the heron was trying to get at his bait. And so he threw rocks at the bird and really hurt it. And so they had to get Florida Fish and Wildlife involved. So I’m not reading this headline that you have at the bottom. I’m so glad that we’re out of time. Are you sure, Kane? Why are you nervous now all of a sudden? Our partners that help bring you the program. It’s our friends over at Caltech The Nun. This is awesome because this is like the lightest. That’s like the thing that they’re doing lately. Lightest, thinnest. The lightest 5.7 that’s on the market. It’s the PR57. Brand new from Caltech. They unveiled it at SHOT Show. Now, I haven’t fired it yet, but I’ve handled it. I kind of put it through, did some dry fire, all that stuff. It’s a beautiful firearm. And the MSRP is only $399. So not only is it gorgeous, but it’s super affordable. This is a 5.7 you can afford to get. I mean, super easily afford to get. They changed concealed carry back in 95. Now they’re doing it again with this 5.7. It’s the PR57. It’s a rotary barrel pistol. So what makes it 40% lighter than the next lightest 5.7 is that design. That innovative rotary barrel makes it light. You also have a very unique top-loading design that replaces traditional magazines with stripper clips, so you get a real slim carry profile in a 20-plus-1 capacity. It’s great for everyday carry. I mean, it’s legit like a 5.7 that even us ladies can everyday carry. And again, MSRP of only $399. Brand new, innovative, engineered, and manufactured by their new Wyoming expansion facility because Kel-Tec is growing. Now, I’m going to be quick. No, you’re not. Because I want to send a message to somebody. Geez, why are you talking like Chris Walker? Just get it out of your head. Elon. Yes.
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take your musty millions and musty Moscow rights to the moon.
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Because if you don’t, We’re going to stand up. We’re going to speak out. We’re going to march. We’re going to do anything we need to do to make sure that the people of this country understand that the CFPB is for them. You get your musty hands off of our money or go to Moscow, you musty moo-moo-moo.
SPEAKER 03 :
What is even that? That’s Emmanuel Cleaver out of Kansas City. I’ve heard of, I like to pride myself on insults. And yet, I wouldn’t be offended. I’d be like, I’m sorry, what a, wait, this is how it’s described in my audio rundown. Quote, go to Moscow, you musty moo moo moo.
SPEAKER 04 :
Sums it up.
SPEAKER 03 :
What is even that? I’m afraid to Google it, Kane. Third hour. Dana Lash with you. He is a case study in progressive lunacy. And so he’s trying to get everybody mad at Elon. What is the musty Moscow hands? He just likes the alliteration. Or not so much the alliteration, the consonants. I’m trying to… He just likes the consonants of it. I’m trying to understand his point. He’s not taking anybody’s anything. He’s saving them money. Us money. Oh, man. I didn’t really want to talk about… When I was telling you on break, you know about the Facebook stuff, King? How can I do this delicately? Oh, it’s taken everything I have. We got drama.
SPEAKER 04 :
That’s a good question. I mean, you’re professional.
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Blood drama.
SPEAKER 04 :
You do professional lady radio.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, it’s professional lady radio. Let me just set it out. So everybody knows some people. Some of you are related. Some of you are not. And they get on Facebook and they feel like that’s the place where they can just totally run their mouth about every conspiracy theory possible. So there was a person that is amongst my very loose association that I only saw because they had tagged a friend of mine in the rant where they were literally accusing. And actually they cited something that not it was in a cleaver. It was Warren had said. And they were accusing Elon Musk of literally taking, and that was their phrase, literally taking my Social Security check. I felt like I was watching a South Park episode where Stan stands up and he’s like, they took our jobs. And, you know, he’s going, and Elon Musk literally took my Social Security check. And I’m like, literally took it? Like he physically, with his hands in D.C., stole your check? Yeah, where’d he put it? Who took it before he got there? Why don’t you just have all your money and why does the government have it in the first place? They’re talking to the crazies because they want the crazies to help them convince the people in the middle that somehow someone’s stealing. If the government doesn’t get to steal it, then that means someone’s stealing it and it’s not them, so it’s theft. Does that make sense? Like Emmanuel Cleaver’s out there going, and we’re not stealing this, you musty moo, moo, moo. What the hell? Is he drunk? Probably. You know what he wanted to say? I got a theory. He wanted to see him jackson it. Oh. Ah. Ah. He wanted to see him. Sorry, Juan. Can you just play that end of that again? If you look at it through the perspective of Emanuel, Cleaver really wanted to go full Sam Jackson. You know what I mean? Say what again? Then it makes sense. Watch.
SPEAKER 05 :
Elon, take your mustard millions and mustard Moscow rights to the moon.
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Because if you don’t, we’re going to stand up.
SPEAKER 03 :
It’s adorable.
SPEAKER 06 :
We’re going to speak out. We’re going to march. We’re going to do anything we need to do to make sure that the people of this country understand that the CFPB is for them. You get your musty hands off of our money or go to Moscow, you musty moo-moo-moo.
SPEAKER 03 :
I turn into the Monty Python meme. He wanted to say, you know it, Emanuel Cleaver wanted to drop an MF. I’m Jackson. Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong. Does it make sense now? You know he’s thinking about it. He’s thinking in his head. Oh, but I’m sitting in front of this lady pretending to be a priest. Oh, maybe I shouldn’t. I thought for a minute, I’m like, I’m sorry, what? What are you going to say? Disappointed. And then he realizes, wait a minute, I’ve got to start the yelling. Is there really a Democrat speech if they’re not yelling and trying to scare you? Right? I mean, you just can’t get out there. And then he looks around like he just walked out of a boxing ring. You absolute clown. What a clown show. Look at all these fools up there with their stupid signs. If the government can’t steal the money, then someone’s stealing it. And if it’s not us, then it’s theft.
SPEAKER 04 :
I love the stay strong sign back there.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, stay strong for what? Protect that fraud. We’re for fraud. Go fraud. We’re pro-fraud. It’s the pro-fraud party. I can’t even talk. The pro-fraud party is what it is. But why did he just like out of nowhere starts yelling and flailing? You must. This is my favorite. Can we save this soundbite? History shows gold and silver thrive under strong leadership. During President Trump’s first term, gold surged 53 percent and silver soared 51 percent. With him back, could precious metals break new records in 2025 and beyond? In times of economic uncertainty, smart investors turn to assets that have proven their worth. Thank you so much for having me. Visit danalikesgold.com right now and get a free copy of their 2025 gold and silver kit. On top of that, you could also qualify for up to $15,000 in bonus silver, possibly even more. That’s danalikesgold.com.
SPEAKER 04 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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So University of South Australia researchers have found that Minecraft plays a significant role in shaping children’s development, social interactions, and cognitive learning. Now, there’s some issues with the company that does it. It’s been getting super ridiculously woke, unfortunately. And that’s incredibly sad because it is an amazing homeschool tool. It really is an amazing homeschool tool. And I also learned a lot about geology, I gotta say. So, I love it and hate it all at the same time. Right? It’s really… I don’t know. Also, I gotta get to this one immediately. Texas game wardens bust a dude who used a porta potty that he converted into a deer blind. The warden said he was charged and they removed the stand from the property. It… It’s like a plastic porta potty. And the guy like spray painted it gray and black and green to hide it. And it was. Yeah, it was in Henderson County in East Texas. And they were investigating because apparently they couldn’t find the guy for the I’m going to break your phone. They couldn’t find the guy. He converted this porta potty and I guess he moved it out, you know. So they set up a camera on the property line and then first day of year season, he showed up and it showed him, they, you know, got a stand in and he admitted that he was hunting, I guess, without permission or whatever. So he was charged and removed the blind from the property. It’s actually brilliant. I got to say, I’m kind of sad I ever thought of it myself. A Sydney restaurant owner was told to censor her profanity-laced fortune cookies after a factory mix-up. The wrong restaurant got the rude ones. So she was going to get regular ones, but apparently this Vietnamese restaurant got ones that were really offensive. And customers were like opening the cookies and it was really they were like really nasty stuff. So she was like, you know, she told the company it was their error. They got to make it right. They’re fighting over it. For all the criticism that Trump gets for having an outsized personality or looking like a bully. That’s the guy you want to sit down that you want sitting across from Putin. The left mistakes Trump’s perception of Putin, I think. Because they think that Trump admires other strong dudes. And they view, by holding that belief, they view Putin as being a strong dude, whether they want to admit it or not. I don’t think he’s a strong dude. I’m explaining to you the leftist perception. They, by way of, and they’ve promoted this idea before that Trump somehow admires Putin. That’s a presupposition based on the premise that strength admires strength. So Trump views Putin as a strong dude. I don’t think that he does. Furthermore, I don’t think that they demonstrate an understanding of Trump. Trump is not. He can recognize someone who has a strong personality, but he wants to be number one in anything, no matter where he is. And he’s very, very competitive. Those types of personalities don’t look at other similar personalities and find them favorable. he will compete with you and he’ll bully you back. He’ll go with you. You’ve seen that with some of the primary stuff. So this idea that he would be cowed by Putin is really stupid. And it demonstrates a complete lack of understanding as it relates to his character. I think he kind of thinks he’s astute. Also, Putin’s very short. How tall is he? Isn’t he like for a man? He’s like short for a dude. Isn’t he like my height? Hang on. Let’s Google this. Putin’s height. I got to look at this.
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They say 5’5″.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, he’s 5’7″. I was right. Dude, he’s my height. I am as tall as he is. I’m 5’7″. Okay, 5’6 and 3 quarters, but whatever. I’m 5’7″. He is my height. You know, Kim Jong-un is 5’2″. That’s from the week. But yeah, he is officially, Putin is officially, it’s in an article called Vladimir Putin and the Rise of the Short Kings. He is five foot seven inches. So that’s a little bit diminutive for a dude, right? What’s the average? So he’s not a tall guy. Trump is ginormous. Trump is huge. He’s like, what, 6’4″, 6’5″? I don’t think people appreciate how tall he is. He’s very big boned. He’s very tall.
SPEAKER 04 :
He’s 6’3″.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, he’s taller than 6’3″. I’m sorry. No way, dude. He’s got to be taller. When I met him, I came up to his armpits. There’s no way I’m up to that dude’s armpits. Like when he, cause I’ve, he’s like done like a side thing, a side hug at one event when he shook my hand, my hand like disappeared into his hand. And I’m like Jiminy Christmas. Like the first time I met him in person, when I introduced him at CPAC, I was shocked at how tall he was. Don Jr. Is kind of tall too, but I think that senior is actually taller.
SPEAKER 04 :
Baron wins.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, Baron’s taller than all of them. Baron’s like eight foot seven. He’s like huge. Anyway, my whole point of bringing that out is one of the things that Trump does, LBJ did. I’m not like casting LBJ in a positive light. Lyndon Johnson, Lyndon Baines Johnson, think of the Lady Bird. He was 6’4″, so he was about as tall as Trump is. And one of the things that LBJ would do when he was trying to convince lawmakers to vote, I read this biography of him. He was a jackass, absolute jackass. LBJ was just rude. He was a bully, not a nice guy. Didn’t like Kennedy. He was not a nice dude. I mean, there’s a whole thing there. But one of the things that he did to other lawmakers is he would use his height as a weapon. So when he would talk to people, one of his biographers would note that he would step right up to them where his his toe would like be touching their toes of their shoes and he would get right into their space and even, you know, push his shoulders forward. So he’s like looming over them as a way to intimidate them. he would do that to everybody. When he would shake people’s hands, he would use even with women on like, he would really try to like grip your hand. You know, there’s, there’s that weird when you shake someone’s hand for the first time and it’s like a competition to see who has the strongest handshake and it’s just douchey. Um, He was like purposely mean, but he was notorious for that stuff. He would like march over if he was displaced with someone and he was going to confront them. He would march right over to him and use his height and do all that. Trump is not as he’s not like a jack wagon like LBJ was in that sense, but he absolutely does use. his height in those matters. There’s one photo of him where he was meeting with Putin. I think this was his first term, maybe like the end of his first year or in the second year. And it was a quick photo where they did like the customary greetings. Juan’s showing you a picture of LBJ. That’s the stuff he did. That’s literally the stuff he did. People would back away from him. And Trump was shaking Putin’s hand and he was doing kind of the same thing, like looming over him and really standing up straight, unnaturally so, and using his height to his advantage because Putin’s a short dude. There’s a photo of Putin walking with Tony Blair and Tony Blair looks like three heads taller than Putin. And Russian media, they’re very, very sensitive to this stuff. So they’re always, whenever Russia controls it, they’re always very, very careful not to have anybody look taller or manlier than Putin. So that’s a very – when they can’t control it, it’s a weird thing for them. So anyway, my whole point is that he sidelines Zelensky because I think Zelensky is dead weight with us. He really is. They’re not able to do anything. Zelensky is not a negotiator. I mean this guy is just as much of a tyrant. He is. You can be like, well, he’s less of a tyrant than whatever. He’s still – they shut down churches. They shut down media. They go after people that criticize their government. If you disagree with their whatever, it’s just the same thing. It’s the same – again – Same to her, different side. So this, I think it probably gets wrapped up faster without him involved. But they’ve already been saying that they would be willing to do a land swap. So I don’t know. Well, it’s all fascinating stuff. This idea of Vegas Larry says he’s 5’7″, so he can rule the world. There you go. 5’7 is where it’s at. 5-7 Club.
SPEAKER 01 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
