SPEAKER 01 : 0:00

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SPEAKER 07 : 0:30

Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.

SPEAKER 05 : 0:36

It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.

SPEAKER 02 : 0:43

I don’t know what’s happening here. All right. So we were talking about the, hang on, my whole thing froze because of course it did. We were talking about the rule of three real quick. And I just realized, I don’t know that we actually have a time frame. For the rule of three.

SPEAKER 05 : 1:00

I thought it was like within three weeks or within like just a couple few weeks.

SPEAKER 02 : 1:04

We’re going to have to devote a segment next hour to figuring this out. Because I can’t like dig up my granny and be like, hey, lady, you forgot to tell us. Along with your chicken dumpling recipe.

SPEAKER 05 : 1:15

Why are you even thinking about doing that?

SPEAKER 02 : 1:16

Because I really want to know. Like, you know, I’m fascinated by this. All right. Let’s get to the meat and taties here. All right. So. Oh, no. No. Okay. Hang on. This is not a real story. It says that the link is probably broken. I don’t know. A guy. No, it is. No, it is. A Florida man shows his munchkins at the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru.

SPEAKER 05 : 1:45

Oh, you’re right. The link is broken.

SPEAKER 02 : 1:48

Auburndale. This is Tampa Bay. He was arrested because he showed off his munchkins in the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru line, according to the police. Yeah, not his kids. Not like that anyway. So they filed, Paul Ring is 60. He has charges filed against him because he was exposing his sexual, S-E-C-K-S-H-U-L, his sexual organs. They said the incident happened on March 19th. He looks so pleased with himself. In the mugshot, it’s really weird. He was in a red pickup truck in the drive-thru lane waiting for his order. The victim was working the drive-thru orders. Then Mr. Ring pulls up and she asked for the card to pay for the order. And that’s when she noticed his munchkins were out. And then he drove off. So she had to call the police. And apparently he’s done this before. And they found him from his vehicle tag. They identified him and they took him into custody. And he just looks as happy as a clam in the… His mugshot, it’s so… Oh, Juan right in… Look, Juan coming in clutch. That’s so… He looks like a drunk-shaven Santa.

SPEAKER 05 : 2:59

He’s definitely pleased.

SPEAKER 02 : 3:00

Showing off them munchkins in the Dunkin’ line. Let’s not. Let’s not do that. OK, I don’t understand the story at all. A Florida woman uses an air vent to get pregnant and gives birth to a miracle baby. She says it’s like the Virgin Mary. There’s so many things wrong with us. So she was supposedly in solitary confinement. She says. OK, I can’t. This this is. Well, she apparently used, I don’t know how to say this. Kane, why did you give me this story? She used something passed by a fellow male inmate through an air conditioning vent to inseminate herself. I’ll just put it like that. And that’s as far as I’m going. There it is. Really don’t think that that’s how it happened, but now she’s further in trouble. And apparently the other, the dude’s in trouble. And yeah, I don’t know. This is, oh my gosh, I’m going to jump off my roof. Gold prices have surged over 40% since January 2024, consistently reaching new highs. According to Goldman Sachs research, the upward trend is expected to persist due to strong demand from central banks. It’s stuff like this that’s made me take action and why I’ve bought precious metals like gold and silver. I partnered with a great company that makes it super easy to buy. Easy, transparent, and simple. And that company is Goldco. They’re a huge supporter of this show and they’re the best at what they do. And right now you can get a free 2025 gold and silver kit jam-packed with critical information about buying precious metals. It was a huge help, not just for me, but to all of you if you do this. And for my audience, you could also qualify for up to a 10% instant match in bonus silver. It’s a really great deal. So don’t miss out. Visit danalikesgold.com to learn more. That’s danalikesgold.com.

SPEAKER 03 : 4:58

If you like true crime, you’ll love the Miracle Files podcast.

SPEAKER 04 : 5:02

We share real stories with the suspense of true crime, but we’ll leave you with a sense of light and hope.

SPEAKER 03 : 5:08

Like the college wrestler who fought a grizzly, the woman who was dead for nearly an hour, or the child lost in a dark mine for days. These are the kind of stories that remind us miracles are real.

SPEAKER 04 : 5:21

Subscribe to the Miracle Files wherever you get your podcasts and join us on this thrilling journey of faith and miracles.

SPEAKER 06 : 5:28

Republicans hold on to two critical House seats in Florida, but badly lose a Supreme Court race in Wisconsin. President Trump ends collective bargaining for federal employees connected to national security. And Trump successfully trolls the media again, this time about running for a third term. I’m Greg Karumbas. Join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the 3 Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad, and crazy news of the day, and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the 3 Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

SPEAKER 02 : 6:03

So in August or sorry, in Augusta, Georgia, this is March is like in like last week. A guy named Chris Lewis, he was arrested after he left his three children unattended at a McDonald’s. Right. And he he had three kids. He had a job interview. And the Augusta Press has the story. He left his kids there to go to a job interview, but then a customer noticed that the kids aged 10, 6 and 1, excuse me, were left alone. And he had his kids there. the play place and he went to go do his job interview a responding deputy found the children unattended a witness reported seeing lewis with the children around 4 30 the witness then observed lewis leave the restaurant and returned later before leaving again he arrived back at the mcdonald’s so they were he was there at 4 30 here right back at 6 18 he was detained by officers He said he had walked to the restaurant with his children from his apartment. He did not want to make them walk back while he attended a nearby job interview. He said he did not own a vehicle. The children’s mother arrived shortly, took the children from the restaurant. He was arrested and taken into custody. The children, they went to go back with their mom. And I got to say, because now this guy is going to have to fight this legal stuff. I think it’s really easy to judge. But this is a dad. He’s taking care of his kids. Maybe not in the way you would take care of your kids. And he’s trying to get a job. And from everything that I had read, he took his kids there. They ate. They played in the play place. And he went to go do his job interview. This is where… I get aggravated in society at large. Because society at large, even in our day-to-day interactions, so many people have a progressive mindset. And I say progressive mindset because they didn’t want to bother really too much themselves in seeing if this dad needed help. They called the police to come and do it. Without knowing the guy’s circumstances, they made a judgment call. I don’t know that I would have done that same thing. I think I would have. And what I think this, you know, person should have done is, you know, maybe maybe, you know, kind of keep an eye on the kids and talk to the dad when he came back. I don’t know. It reminded me, and Cain brought this up too, of the kids that there was a story of, what was it, an 11-year-old and a 9-year-old that walked down the road, not even a block, walked down the road because they had a park on their street, like a neighborhood park. And they walked down the road to the park and some busybody saw and called the cops. Mom was home. Mom got arrested. She’s like, my kids are walking to the park. There’s tons of stories like this. They have the free-range kid movement. So it was a 10-year-old, 6-year-old, and 1-year-old. I just feel like this is not the time to respond with the cops. This is a dad who’s trying to do the right thing and he needs help. And now he’s got to deal with all of this, this legal stuff. Former NFL wide receiver Antonio Brown heard about the case. He stepped in. And he’s apparently trying to help. They set up a GoFundMe for the dad. And he said it reminded him about the pursuit of happiness, the life of Chris Gardner, who spent a year homeless in San Francisco before he found a job. And Brown said, you know, I know he shouldn’t just leave his kids, but some people don’t have the means. We’re going to do a GoFundMe, said that he always does. And it looks like he’s helping with some of the legal stuff. I feel bad for this dad because he’s a dad. Look, I grew up poor. I know the position. I mean, when I say I grew up poor, you guys, I couldn’t afford basic necessities for school. I lived on the generosity of other people for a while. I had a single mom and after she was getting on her feet and we were fighting from not being statistics. So I get it. That’s why I think he wasn’t doing drugs. He wasn’t drinking. He wasn’t goofing around. He was trying to get a job. And Now he’s got to deal with all of this, and I’m happy that other people are stepping in, but it’s like, you know, in the story that I saw, an elderly neighbor, their grass got real tall, and somebody called, what is it, the city on the neighbor, and they started finding the neighbor. Instead of just walking over and saying, do you need help? Can I mow your grass? Being good stewards of your fellow man literally means being good stewards of your fellow man. That’s what people are called to do. And calling the cops on somebody isn’t necessarily the thing that’s always required. I hope this dad gets on his feet, and I hope that he’s able to preserve some grace in his heart that wasn’t shown to him by the person who called the cops. I’m sure the person was looking out for the well-being of the kids, but is this the best way to go about it? Give the dad a break, man. Our friends over at Caltech, the Caltech… PR 57. It is a new build from Kel-Tec. It’s a 5.7. It’s a rotary barrel pistol. And it’s the first of its kind. 40% lighter than the next lightest 5.7. And that innovative rotary barrel makes it so light, so nice. Now, I keep joking about this because I find it funny. The left always says, oh, my gosh, the clips. They call them clips. They can be correct with this one for once. Because it doesn’t use a traditional magazine. This is the other reason why it’s so light and slim. The unique top-loading design replaces the traditional mag with a stripper clip. So you have a slimmer carry profile and a 20 plus 1 capacity. Super low recoil. Quickest and easiest field strip out there. The MSRP is only $399. Y’all, this is so affordable. It’s crazy. I’m just saying Mother’s Day is coming up. Ladies, if you want a nice 5.7 that you actually can realistically carry, this is it. Dudes, if you just want a lighter, thinner one, this is one for you, too. Because, you know, Father’s Day is after Mother’s Day. Visit CaltechWeapons.com to learn more. 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SPEAKER 05 : 12:39

And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.

SPEAKER 02 : 12:45

So first up, a North Carolina man is giving a Florida man a run for his money. He wore a bear costume to scare off a real black bear. He literally dressed up as a bear and stood out. It’s hysterical in North Carolina. Sounds like it’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Did he survive? And yeah, well, he put it on, there’s a video of it. And most people would, you know, maybe use a different tactic, but he put on, I don’t know if it worked or not, because the article doesn’t actually say it over at WIRF, because the person who wrote it apparently has one single brain cell and they don’t know how to properly write a piece. So between that and the, you know, pop up ads that just are on the site like an STD, I just don’t, you know.

SPEAKER 05 : 13:32

I feel like if he died, it’d be in the headline.

SPEAKER 02 : 13:34

Yeah, I feel like it would, too. But I’m not going to go through all of their stuff just to get that. Saved you a click. Screen time is blamed for cross-cultural drop in birth rates because everybody’s doom scrolling. I don’t know. They said over half of 18 to 34-year-olds are not in a steady relationship nor are they living with someone. They said most people don’t feel pressure to find a partner. Most half say they’re not even looking. And they said a lot of people say it’s the library of entertainment at our fingertips. No, I don’t think so. I think it’s more than that. I do think that the way people gather has changed, but I think that society has become so insufferable. It is a minefield to try to go and date someone because you don’t know if they’re going to be a giant woke scold and accuse you if you’re a man of rape. Or if you’re a girl, you have no idea if they’re going to be like a progressive, you know, patriarch wannabe. You have no idea. So I think that’s honestly what contributes to it. And everyone wants to blame the screen time instead of looking deep within their souls and realizing the call is coming from inside the house. Also, let’s see. We’ve got a narco sub located with Hunter. Was he driving? Six and a half tons of cocaine was seized in the Atlantic. Hunter went down there with a package of straws to just snort it out of the ocean. They had a lot of help. Portugal police, they were involved. DEA was involved. Wow, crazy. What would you do if you woke up during your flight and found someone braided your hair? Someone on an American Airlines flight fell asleep and woke up with a braid on her hair. I would braid their face. I would. A man braided her hair while she was asleep on a plane, apparently. And it was a long haul flight. And it is a woman, I will just say, who has processes under her hair to make her hair straight. And that is one thing you do not do. Look, we have an understanding. I don’t mess with your power tools. You don’t mess with my hair. Okay. That is the understanding. You know what I mean? Like you kill the spiders and I won’t touch the thermostat. That is the understanding. This man did not get that understanding. He broke the code. Brothers, you need to beat down. He broke the code. All right. We got more on the way. Stick with us.

SPEAKER 08 : 15:50

Well, it’s a very disappointing result on the floor there. A handful of Republicans joined with all the Democrats to take down a rule that’s rarely done. It’s very unfortunate in this case. 96% of House Republicans voted against proxy voting because they believe it’s unconstitutional and they agreed that it would open a Pandora’s box. And so that’s what we just saw. Let me just make this clear. That rule being brought down means that we can’t have any further action on the floor this week. That means we will not be voting on the SAVE Act. for election integrity. We will not be voting on the rogue judges who are attacking President Trump’s agenda. We will not be taking down these terrible Biden policies with the CRA votes. All that was just wiped off the table. It’s very unfortunate. We’ll regroup and come back and we’ll have to do this again.

SPEAKER 02 : 16:37

All right. So I’m about to get really mean. Which is really why you all watch. And you just wait. In the days that I’m not, you’re just like Dana. So I don’t say this coming from a place of animus. First off, welcome back. Dana Lash, bottom of this first hour. Chats at Rumble. If you don’t like what I’m saying, you can go and tell those people. They’ll beat you to death. Kidding. They’re very sweet, lovable people. But also Facebook, X, all that good stuff. So like I said, I don’t say this as a place of dislike for anyone because I actually like the people that are involved in this. I don’t like Mike Johnson. I like the people that are involved in this. But I know it’s very difficult for some drive-bys to understand. You can like someone and then think that what that person that you like is doing is stupid. I think what Anna Paulina Luna is doing with this is one of the stupidest, most attention-seeking things that I’ve seen in quite some time. And I like her. I’ve defended her before. I mean, hell, I’ve raised money for her. Now, let me just preface this. Let me set the stage so you understand. So what ended up happening yesterday is basically you have Anna Paulina Luna working with AOC, and they wanted to introduce this bill for new moms so that they could vote remotely. And… When that didn’t happen, she had a fit and left the Freedom Caucus and then ended up creating this like theater. We’re in fighting with House leadership to essentially, you know, change the they they they wanted to stop bills from going up to a vote for this. And even though Mike Johnson is not helpless here, I don’t know what he’s doing either. This is the thing where I don’t get it. I mean, he chose to cancel votes for the rest of the week for no reason. And there’s literally nothing that’s stopping him. from putting up things for a vote. You have to have a new rule for it, and you can just do a new rule for it at any time, right? They’re mad over this proxy vote fight. That’s what this all comes down to, and it all stems from this situation with Anna Paulina Luna out of Florida. And she quit the Freedom Caucus because the Republicans would not back her push to allow a rules change for new congressional parents to vote by proxy. I’m going to tell you something. Sean Duffy, who’s the secretary of the transportation department. I know I know him and his wife very well. And when they had their youngest little girl and she was born with a heart issue, she she had some complications when she was born. He didn’t want to vote by proxy. So he resigned his seat. Because he felt that that wasn’t a constitutional thing. They have like eight kids. And he didn’t feel that that was a constitutional thing to do. That’s not what voters sent him to D.C. to do is just to vote by proxy. So he resigned and spent time with his family. Don’t tell me that your family first when you want to water down congressional action. And change every if you’re a family first, then why are you? I’m going to say it. Why are you in Congress? If you’re family first, you need to prioritize the order at which you’re creating your family and then going to Congress. This is not like any other regular job. Right. Things happen and you have to be there for it. So spare me the whole it’s not equal. You’re damn right. It’s not. It’s government. You’re going there on behalf of the people. I don’t care if I’ve had babies, too. So have women all throughout history. I mean, it’s a great, wonderful thing, but stop. Stop this. Stop this victimhood mentality. Stop the victim Olympics. Dear God, that’s not what we sent people like you to D.C. for. I’m so tired of Republicans doing these self-owned. Stop it. So, no, I think that they were right. She got mad at the Freedom Caucus because she wanted to do something that was pretty much antithetical to a purpose of gathering in D.C. and also the whole position of the right. And they’re trying to make it an argument that Republicans don’t like new moms, which I think that if you’re trying to set your own party up for stuff like that, I question your allegiance. So she resigned. She sent a letter. They’ve been fighting about it. And she said, I have consistently supported you even in moments of disagreement, etc. This respect was shattered last week. She wanted to force a mechanism and she worked with Democrats to do it. She wanted to force a mechanism that allows new parents in the House to vote remotely for 12 weeks around their baby’s birth. I’m pretty hardcore in this. And I think it’s a cop out for people to say that. That you are not being family first or that the Republicans need to prioritize kids by diminishing the constitutional importance of how our Congress acts. I think that’s a cop out. If you’re family first, then get your priorities about putting your family first first. I didn’t have a radio career until my kids were a lot older. I did not have a newborn at home and was I wasn’t doing show prep and I’m pretty damn old school. I mean, a lot of people think they’re traditional. Hi, meet me. I didn’t do any of that because that wasn’t where my rightful place was. Oh, yes, I also believe in the Deppers and the Ruths and all that stuff. But for my particular position, this is how it was laid out for me. So I didn’t do all of that. I wasn’t getting on air and I wasn’t doing all of that. I actually put my family first and I stayed home and I raised my kids. Not everyone has that option. So I don’t need victimhood mentality theater if that doesn’t describe a drive-by’s particular situation. I’m giving you an example. My lived experience. Everybody has babies. Everybody raises kids. OK, but here’s the thing. When you choose to go to Congress, you choose it. No one forces you. There are certain things that you have to realize. One of those is that you need to make sure you’re servicing the voters and we’re not doing proxy voting. That is not what we’re doing. I find it ironic to sit here and say we can’t do proxy voting for America. We’re not going to do mail in ballots and all that stuff, but we’re going to do the equivalent of that for Congress. No, we’re not. We’re going to be consistent. And if you have a problem with that, then maybe your position shouldn’t be in the House. I don’t begrudge anyone for for wanting to focus on their family. But you can’t demand that Congress change process to something less than what we as conservatives and constitutionalists expect to accommodate you because you want to play a progressive card. And try to set something up more advantageous for yourself. It’s not a family first position. It’s not an America first position. And it’s not a common sense position. And it’s unfortunate that now we have another week because of this theater. Another week when the clock is ticking and we don’t have the time that we’re sending everybody home again and we’re not going to do anything. I throw something but I actually want to eat my yogurt, so I’m not going to throw it. And my coffee’s real hot. You see what I’m saying? Can you let me know if I’m being too old school here?

SPEAKER 05 : 24:10

No, this is actually pretty spot on. I don’t see an actual legitimate reason why Johnson… I mean, both of them are dumb. Yes, it’s both dumb. Like, somehow they think two dumbs make a nut dumb because it’s not working that way.

SPEAKER 02 : 24:26

Yeah, it’s like two grapes don’t make a strawberry. Right? Was that a bad? They just died. I don’t know. But still. Still. Come on. So this is goofy. So I’m, yeah, I’m a little, I’m a little verklempt this morning. To quote Mike Myers from SNL before he turned into a giant jack wagon.

SPEAKER 07 : 24:53

Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.