Join Dana as she delves into recent Florida man escapades with a comedic twist, highlighting bizarre crimes that defy logic. From theft and bizarre public behavior to the absurdity of attempting to alter property zoning laws, this episode unravels the unexpected misadventures in the Sunshine State. Alongside these stories, Dana shares controversial views on tiny house movements and governmental overreach. With her unique take on current events, Dana’s gripping narratives provide both humor and insight, making this episode a must-listen for anyone fascinated by life’s oddities.
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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Caltech.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
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So a central Florida man was accused of stealing appliances from construction sites. Why do people think that stupid stuff like this is going to go unnoticed? So this dude is Flager County. It was Flager and St. John counties. One Orlando resident filed a police report because she discovered her home had been ransacked. I mean, just stole everything, including the air conditioning unit. And this they are they finally arrested this guy. Apparently he’s been just like ransacking homes for quite some time. And they said that they they caught him like red handed. He had all these appliances that he was stealing from these construction sites right in the back of his truck. And so he was in a Chevy Silverado. They caught him on camera doing it. They ran him down. And they are looking for more because he wasn’t working alone. So they’re looking for Flagler County. They’re looking for more tips on people doing. That’s crazy. So you would have to basically you would have to like hire. You got to have security there at some of these places then to protect the construct and protect the stuff that you’re putting in these properties. I mean, how is a guy like that able to get in there so easily? It’s kind of crazy. This Sanford man was accused of hitting his girlfriend with a fishing reel and a police dog found him in a tree. Oh, yeah. Canine red. I love the canines. If that man hurt that canine, I will drug him. Sanford man is jailed $40,000 bond. He hit his girlfriend in the head with a fishing pole. Oh, and then he also pointed a gun at her, which the headline, that seems to me like that’s the most important part. Henry Perdue was charged with battery with a deadly weapon, aggravated assault, possession of, because he’s a convicted felon, so he’s a prohibited possessor, but he was in illegal possession anyway. And he also stole the gun that he was using, so grand theft of a firearm. Lots of felonies here. So she had cuts to her head when police arrived. He wasn’t home, but a canine handler and the dog tracked him down. He was found hiding in a tree. So they were able to get him in. A man was arrested on a drug charge after barking like a dog at an auto parts store. A Florida man is accused of, if you guessed meth, you’d be right, possessing it after he was allegedly observed barking like a dog in a Georgia auto parts store for over an hour. Wow, that’s dedication. Monroe County online booking records show Jonathan Navis of Palm Coast, he’s 29, was arrested, charged with possession of meth and battery. They said that it was an advanced auto parts store that called the police to say that this nutjob’s in the store, they think he’s on drugs, and he’s barking like a dog. He’s been in there barking like a dog for over an hour. So the guy told police that he had no idea, literally what he told them, no idea that his barking was causing any issues. So he was arrested. Bonds set at $5,000. He also had an active warrant out for his arrest for previous offenses. Just, geez. This guy, let’s see, beat his neighbor with a golf club and shot him in the ankle. Kings Point, Palm Beach Post. Oh, my goodness. Just to see golf sounds violent. A 77-year-old man shot a dog walker in the ankle and then turned around and beat him with a golf club and their shared senior community. Jurors acquitted Robert Levine of aggravated battery with the firearm and discharging it in public. He was trying to say that it was self-defense. But when you then get the guy on the ground and you’re beating him with a golf club, that’s not self-defense anymore. At that point, you’re the aggressor. So he got he was convicted only of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. And he’s going to be sentenced on March 27th. He said that he was fearing for his life and that’s why he ended up having to use this firearm. But then, you know, after that. When you’re the aggressor and the guy’s trying to flee, you can’t… When you’re pursuing, you’re no longer in a defensive position. And that’s what prosecutors take into consideration. That’s what… Got to be careful with this stuff. Let’s see. Apparently, this guy, Florida man riding a lawnmower, has a knack for taking down mailboxes. He keeps running into mailboxes with his riding lawnmower. Lee County Sheriff’s Office is investigating this because he’s destroyed multiple mailboxes along the same road. They say it’s egregious, but it’s also funny because it’s all on video. So this one guy decided to build his mailbox out of brick, like the three little pigs, and basically was challenging this guy. He’s been cited a million times. Our partners over at Kel-Tec. PR 57. Now, I did go get mine. I haven’t been able to really fire it yet because it’s been busy preparing for some stuff that we got coming up. But very excited to put a few hundred rounds through this. 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Democrats now insist they have a huge momentum shift after those special elections turned out pretty much like we thought they would. President Trump has the audacity to claim he should be able to decide who works for him. And Trump makes the media look like Wile E. Coyote again over comments about a third term. I’m Greg Karambas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs, too. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
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play this what is this audio that you gave me that you stuck in the lady with the tiny house where’s this at what channel is that in okay this has nothing to do with any of the stuff that they were talking about but this chick what was she she was saying that talking about how out of control government is and i was down with her until she said what she was going to build She said she has 37 acres. She wants to put a tiny home on her 37 acres. And she said the government said you can’t do that, even though it’s her property and she owns it. She owns 37 acres. You can’t put that up on your property. You don’t really own your own property, though. You know that, right? You really don’t. own it. But she said she wanted to build a tiny house and I don’t like the tiny house movement because I’m a maximalist. I would rather live in one large shack than a tiny house.
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But you wouldn’t want to deny anyone that if that’s what they want. She’s already got a big house on the property.
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She just wants an additional house that’s smaller. I think it’s a communist psyop. I don’t like tiny houses and I also don’t like shiplap. All houses don’t have to look like public rest stops.
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You know, it’s our government is why we have tiny houses even to begin with. You know that, right? What do you mean? Every regulation that we’ve ever been imposed, that’s ever been imposed on us, has been to overcharge us for everything. We have to get licenses for this, inspections for that. Everything becomes… Now, there’s necessary inspections, don’t get me wrong, but there’s so many levels of intrusion by the government on the financial side, on the real estate side, on the actual property tax side, that homeowners themselves, they have to go small in order to afford it.
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It’s been my dream for 20 years to build my own big, giant, real-life-sized trebuchet. And it’s actually pretty disconcerting, the regulations that are against that kind of stuff.
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The trebuchet?
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Yeah. I mean, I don’t really have enough property where I’m at right now to fling it. Right. But maybe someday. But it’s going to happen.
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You need a cooperative neighbor.
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Or, you know, it could make a neighbor cooperative. There’s also that. Anyway, can we play this more? Because she was talking about government restrictions on property. And you guys and I, I especially like state and local.
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I hope she doesn’t cuss.
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Go ahead.
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Even if you own 37 acres of land, the government will still control your land. Did you all know that? Because I didn’t know that. And I just walked into the municipal building. I’m going to put a tiny home on my property. And he immediately said, nope, you can’t do that. I was like, what? What are you talking about? I have 37 acres. There’s plenty of room to put a tiny home. Nope, you can’t do that. You’re zoned to have one house on your property. I’m like, dude, my property is massive, okay? And this is for my kid’s future to have a tiny home. Ultimately, I want three, three little tiny homes in the back corner of our property. Nope, you can’t do that. What do you mean you can’t do that? No. Zoning is planned. What plans does the government have for my property? I don’t understand what you’re saying to me. And you could tell this guy had never gotten any pushback because I was pushing back. Like you’re telling me I can’t put a tiny home on my property for my children to live in when they’re 18, 19, 20 young adults. What are you talking about? No, it’s not zoned for that. Okay. And then he’s like, well, there’s a floodplain here. And I was like, he said a hundred year floodplain. I said, well, what year are we on? He couldn’t tell me. He’s like, it doesn’t work like that. I was like, what do you mean? What year are we on? Cause we put a drain tile in. So I know it’s not-
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So we have this stuff even in our town where if you’re going to do additions and stuff like that, like you have to have, even for the studio when we were rebuilding, like considering rebuilding a bigger studio, there’s like all kinds of considerations and stuff to go through. You never really own your own property. It is ridiculous. Although I will say, tiny houses, I’m a maximalist. I can’t, I can’t. If I was going to build property, it would be like not a tiny property on my property, but it would be something maximalist. Can’t do the tiny stuff. I can’t do. But if you want to have like a little shire in the back part of your yard, you know, what if you were like, no, no, no, I’m not making these things, these structures for anyone to live in. I’m just a big Lord of the Rings fan. And I’m just recreating the shire in my own backyard for my own personal enjoyment. Could you really argue against that? I mean, if you hate good literature and everything lovely, then I’m sure those people exist. But I would build it and then never tell anybody. You can’t come on my property. I’ll shoot you dead. Castle doctrine. Stay out. No trespassing. Get out. You can’t come on my property. I just do it and nobody would know, right? Nobody would ever know. No snitching neighbors, no snitch. I don’t know. But it is frustrating. This is one of the reasons why a lot of people in Texas have been pushing on just getting rid of, reducing or getting rid of property taxes. It is crazy. We have to fight stuff every single year. And that’s that is one big thing that you do have to really go back and forth on with Texas lawmakers. I tell you, gold prices have surged over 40 percent since January 2024, consistently reaching new highs. According to Goldman Sachs research, the upward trend is expected to persist due to strong demand from central banks. It’s stuff like this that’s made me take action and why I’ve bought precious metals like gold and silver. I’ve partnered with a great company that makes it super easy to buy. Easy, transparent, and simple. And that company is Goldco. They’re a huge supporter of this show and they’re the best at what they do. And right now you can get a free 2025 gold and silver kit jam-packed with critical information about buying precious metals. It was a huge help, not just for me, but to all of you if you do this. And for my audience, you could also qualify for up to a 10% instant match in bonus silver. It’s a really great deal. So don’t miss out. Visit DanaLikesGold.com to learn more. That’s DanaLikesGold.com.
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And now all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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Need knife control in D.C. D.C. mass stabbing suspect was arrested after attacking six people, including innocent bystanders at random in a substance fueled frenzy. Try that in a concealed carry town. The D.C. police, they responded to the scene. It was two miles from the Capitol. It was like 3.20 p.m. yesterday after we got off air. They found the male suspect on the ground suffering from stab wounds. But he had hurt a number of people. They said he was in a, quote, alternate mental state from an unknown substance. And that’s how it began. Also, rising odds. I am really upset over this. And I feel betrayed. Smog. The asteroid that we thought might, you know, kind of ping the earth is actually threatens to hit the moon instead. I mean, you know, that’s going to just mess stuff up for everybody, but it’s not going to be the end of humanity, sadly. I’m saying. It’s a huge asteroid. Now it has a 4% chance of smashing into the moon. So there is a chance, though. They thought the size of it is capable of leveling a city, according to data from the James Webb Space Telescope. It has a 3.1% chance of hitting our home planet. Apparently the highest chance more than any other asteroid that they’ve measured previously. And it required the Earth’s planetary defense community to leap into action. Further observant observations quickly ruled out the asteroid called 2024 YR4 or giant disappointment will strike Earth on December 22nd, 2032. Wow. We got to wait that long. Maybe it can change its trajectory. Could we send Bruce Willis up there and have Aerosmith play and he can like jackhammer the asteroid into a new trajectory? I mean, I’m sure it’s possible. I know engineering guys because I can eyeball a wall and hang a picture. I have a story about that. It was like perfectly in the center. I swear to you. My husband was like, that’s an exception, not a rule. Stop it. Amazon has a bid to buy TikTok per New York Times. Does that mean we got to use TikTok if somebody buys it? You telling me I got to create an account on TikTok? I will annoy the hell out of everybody on purpose. I will create the most horrible content. So, yeah, they said that they put in a last minute offer to buy TikTok. And I guess we’re going to it’s now we’re playing wait and see, see if they take up the offer. Well, San Francisco is rethinking its free handouts of drugs and drug paraphernalia. Wow. I wonder why. I wonder why that’s happening. San Francisco is now scratching their heads thinking, you know what? Maybe it wasn’t a great idea to hand out free drugs and drug paraphernalia to drug addicts. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea. It’s like, you know, giving kids to a kid toucher. Why would you do this?
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When was it ever a good idea?
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Oh, they thought it was at some point. I mean, they literally had billboards around the city where it was like, do it with friends, people partying and doing drugs. What in the world? I mean, they they lit to call San Francisco liberal is an insult to classical liberalism. I’m not going to do Tocqueville that way. They are morons. It’s a moron city. And so, yeah, they said that they would they were giving people clean foil pipes and plastic straws so they could smoke their fentanyl and methamphetamines out. Oh my gosh, you guys are so nice. You know what’s going to make someone stop doing drugs and living on the streets and being a taxpaying responsible citizen? Giving them more foil to smoke their crack in. Do you use foil for crack? I don’t even know. It’s like a little it’s like a barefoot Contessa out there. What the hell? Right. Here’s my ingredients. Here’s what you’re going to need for your fentanyl. You’re going to need your your foil. I don’t even know what else you need. Anyway, so they and they spent, by the way, hundreds of thousands of dollars annually on these supplies. And speaking of California, two cities in SoCal now have the highest sales tax in the country after the law went into effect, in addition to the high income tax and everything else. Great job, guys. So, I mean, this is like the perfect time to talk about the blackball Jesus female, right? Yeah, let’s do it. Cynthia Ervo. I don’t know if you all saw this or not. She’s going to play, I guess, the titular role of Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar at the Hollywood Bowl. That’s the big amphitheater that they got there. So she’s going to be playing Jesus there. I don’t know why. I guess they got him. I would think that just putting on anything that has Jesus in it in Hollywood is going to be controversial enough. But they’re like, nah, let’s kick the edge off it. So they have Cynthia Irvo, who is in that musical Wicked, which… I think is made entirely of estrogen and collagen. That whole play, that whole musical is made of those two things. So they are, uh, she’s starring as this and, and I don’t know why they chose to pick her. It’s going to be Andrew. It’s Andrew Lloyd Webber, Tim Rice’s Jesus Christ superstar. Uh, she, I guess it’s, uh, it’s this summer. She also starred as Mary Magdalene in a different production. That’s going to be in August with the Hollywood Bowl. And oh, gosh, it’s going to I I’m assuming it’s a musical. I know nothing about. But I guess she’s playing the blackball Jesus. So I thought, well, you know, we just go all the way. Right. Ask her to play Mohammed and see how well that goes. You know, just just a thought like Cynthia Ervo as Mohammed, you know, just, you know, just could be. But then, you know, if we’re going to be doing stuff like this, because I know that the left gets very, very sensitive about it unless they are looking at taking over like traditionally white characters with minority actors or it’s never reversed. And I mean, I don’t really put a lot of stock into it, except the left freaks out so badly. It’s like, imagine, you know, redoing Harriet Tubman, her story, and casting Jesse Plemons as Harriet Tubman. You guys know who Jesse Plemons is? It’s Kirsten Dunst’s husband. He’s a great actor. Or redoing Roots and Chris Hemsworth as Kunta Kinte. Just imagine how well, I mean, right? I mean, we can just take it all over. Or, you know, if maybe you want to get out of U.S., you know, historical recreations, we could go to Samurai and you could, let’s do Lady Snowblood. Lady, and I love Samurai films. Lady Snowblood, but starring Chris Pratt. Right? Works, right? Can you believe it?
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It’s in line with what they’ve been doing.
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I mean, there’s so many things we could do. Right.
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It opens a lot of doors.
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Yeah, it opens a ton of doors. I’m just tired of the left always going, you know what, let’s do something rude about Jesus. That’s all they, and every year, or maybe like every three years, they do this. Like no one’s had this thought before. What if, now hear me out, we insult Christians. What if we do that? yeah it’s a totally original idea and they’re all high-fiving each other every three years they do this it was actually trite back when madonna did it i was in elementary school when she did uh what was the song she did and i remember all the catholics got mad about it because one of my friends their family was super catholic she was like one of eleventy kids and uh that was not madonna was not allowed in their house after what song was it it wasn’t like a virgin it was the one where she was they like burned crosses in it and it was nighttime and she was dark headed in that video I don’t remember somebody will tell me I don’t really care I don’t have enough room in my brain to remember all that that trollops work anyway but you guys know what I mean some just you know it’s just so just cliche anymore thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast if you haven’t already make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts
Absurd Truth: CNN Thunderdome Racist Olympics