In this enlightening episode of The Good News with Angie Austin, we dive deep into the incredible journey of Athena Dean Holtz. From facing heartbreak and spiritual challenges to finding love and purpose, Athena shares her unique story of redemption. As one of the authors of ‘Together for a Purpose: Love and Mission in Marriage and Ministry,’ Athena discusses the hurdles and joys of blending personal faith with marital commitment. Learn how Athena overcame a tumultuous past and ultimately found peace and mission alongside her husband, Dr. Ross Holtz.
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SPEAKER 01 :
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here’s Angie.
SPEAKER 08 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with the good news. We are talking to the author, one of the authors of Together for a Purpose, Love and Mission in Marriage and Ministry. This is written by Dr. Ross and Athena Dean Holtz. And joining us is Athena Dean Holtz. Welcome, Athena. Hey, thanks for having me on, Angie. You are welcome. So let’s talk about how you and Dr. Ross came together for this, you know, came together in general. Talk about that first.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, it’s an interesting story because his late wife of 49 years, when I first met her, she was not sick or she didn’t know she was sick. None of that was on the horizon at all. And she pulled me aside one day and said, you know, I told Ross if anything ever happens to me, he needs to marry you.
SPEAKER 07 :
Wow.
SPEAKER 06 :
And I was like, OK, OK. What she didn’t know was that I would sit in the back of the church and go, God, can you give me somebody like that? He loves his family. He’s not a flirt. He is humble. He’s transparent. Can you give me someone like that? Not can you give me him, right?
SPEAKER 07 :
Right.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah. When she said that to me, it just, I mean, I had all sorts of weird, like, does he know that I know that she, you know, I mean, the whole self-talk thing. And it just kind of took me by surprise. And then pretty soon I was like, you know, my brother asked me to come down to San Antonio to help with our mom. And I was happy to just kind of get out of there because I didn’t like the head games that I was, you know, feeling so, um, While I was there, about a year after I went, I saw something on Facebook that she had been diagnosed with cancer and three months and she was gone.
SPEAKER 08 :
Oh, my goodness. And were you married at the time? I understand you were coming out of a situation.
SPEAKER 06 :
I actually was divorced due to a 13 year detour into a very toxic. I mean, it was a cult. It was a Christian cult situation. that completely used scripture out of context to deceive me, and I fell for it. And they got me when my husband said, this is not scriptural. They turned it around and got me to divorce him in the name of Jesus. Let the unbeliever leave. I mean, I still am appalled that I listened to them. But this quote-unquote pastor and his wife basically arranged me to divorce my husband and long and short, they wanted to get my publishing company and everything that I, um, had at that time, the influence that I had. So he has already remarried actually twice. So it wasn’t an option to, you know, get that restored. And so I was 14 years, hadn’t been on a date in 14 years.
SPEAKER 08 :
Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER 06 :
And then you’re praying to God.
SPEAKER 08 :
And you’re praying to God to get someone like Dr. Ross Holtz, who’s your coauthor and now husband. Uh, and Athena Dean Holtz is telling her story about, uh, how she was led to divorce her husband coming out of a Christian cult. She meets Dr. Ross Holtz and his wife. His wife gets sick, but had told you, I told Ross, if anything happens to me, then he should marry you. And then after she passed away, did you get in touch with him? What happened?
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, it was interesting. Um, I had been doing, I was on the radio in San Antonio. I was in Texas. I was never going to go back to Washington. And while I was actually recuperating in the hospital for gallbladder surgery, I got a text. that the people who had robbed me of my publishing company, Wine Press Publishing, the couple that got me to divorce Chuck, they basically, the landlord locked him out of the office, said, you’re done. And so I got this text, will you come back to Washington and help all these authors? Wow. And so it was that invitation that I was actually under a ministry, a missionary ministry, and they said, well, we have to call whoever your pastor is. If you’re going to go under our covering, we need to get in touch. Well, I mean, the last church that I was at was Ross’s church. So he gets this phone call, Athena’s coming back. Would you be her overseer for her radio ministry? And little did I know, when Kathy was on her deathbed, she made a list of five women that he had permission to consider as a wife. And I was number one on the list, and all the kids had already been prepared. Just don’t give your dad a hard time. He needs to get remarried. So it was like all set up without me even knowing it.
SPEAKER 08 :
That is so wild. So you go back, and the two of you start dating, and then obviously the kids have been prepared to accept it. And then when did you end up getting married?
SPEAKER 06 :
So I went back in January. We ended up getting married in June.
SPEAKER 07 :
Wow.
SPEAKER 06 :
Which some people thought was too soon, but at 67 years old, my husband’s like, I don’t know how much time I have left. So we wanted to put it off until October just to be more – like there’s something in the Bible that says you have to do that. No, there’s not.
SPEAKER 08 :
Well, considering you were first on the list, I don’t think – I mean that’s part of the story, so I don’t think she was saying she’s first on the list and you have to wait a certain amount of months. So again, we’re talking to Athena Dean Holtz. The book is Together for a Purpose, Love and Mission in Marriage and Ministry. I was interested in something in your book that I thought I could really relate to, and it had to do with – You’re right. We honor each other by compromising. Let’s talk about how that looks like in your marriage because I’m a big fan of that as well because my husband is a big-time debater. He really likes to win an argument. He’s very strong in his beliefs about certain things, and he loves a good debate. And so I often reach some kind of compromise in our discussions, shall I say.
SPEAKER 06 :
Right, right. Well, and I think the word compromise has such a kind of negative connotation, like you’re being unspiritual if you compromise, like you’re compromising the gospel. I mean, that’s kind of got that feeling to it. And we just realized that we need to give and take. And there are times when my husband wants to do something and I do not want to do. I don’t want to go spend time with those people, or I don’t want to, you know, I just don’t want to do it, but I have to be willing to be pliable and say, okay, Lord, I’m going to do, I’m going to compromise what I want and be more sensitive to what he is asking. And he does the same for me. I mean, there are times where he does not want to Go do something for me that I need done because I’m busy with an author or doing something. And so it’s just one of those give and take where you bend and you just defer. To the other person.
SPEAKER 08 :
Let’s talk about some of the challenges. You obviously had some, you know, marrying someone who’d been, you know, such a close family friend and you’ve been friends with his late wife and, you know, throw kids into the mix, etc. Let’s talk about some of the hurdles that you had to overcome.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, one was with the church, which we had no idea is very common when a pastor remarries. oftentimes there are church splits and people just are up in arms. And we didn’t know that before we got married. And I don’t know whether it would have changed anything about timing, but we had like about a third of the congregation left. They couldn’t state, you know, it was scriptural, it’s a sin issue, it’s nothing like that. And what I came to find out later is that it really was wives who were offended that Ross could replace Kathy so easily. And he didn’t replace her. You know, it’s not even a matter of that. But that’s what the enemy loves to stir up in people in situations like that. One gal told me that I just… like thought to myself how dare she or how dare he uh marry her so quickly that that doesn’t honor kathy and but as she prayed about it she realized what she was worried about is that her husband would do the same thing to her oh isn’t that interesting yes and she just said as soon as i saw that i repented and totally the desire to leave and be mad went totally went away
SPEAKER 08 :
I think a lot of pastors are meant to be married. You know, it’s teamwork and it’s a difficult job. What are some of the other things that we will learn that you think are important for us to know about in the book Together for a Purpose, Love and Mission in Marriage and Ministry?
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I just think that one of the big things is, you know, our scripture is Romans 8, 28, that God will use all things together for good. for those who love him and are, you know, called according to his purposes. But then the next verse, verse 29 says, so that we can be conformed to the likeness of Christ. And, you know, he wants to take every, I mean, every challenge. We have adult kids, mental health issues. I mean, we got all sorts of messy. And it’s just by looking at everything through the lens of Romans 8.28, he is going to use this. He is aware of our pain and our struggles, and he’s going to use it for his good to sanctify us and make us more like his son.
SPEAKER 08 :
Yeah, I think I was reading about – you were talking about bringing people together in marriage is highly problematic. I thought that was a funny quote because it is problematic. It is meant to be difficult and make us more like Christ.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah. So it’s, it’s just been so many different things. I mean, I brought my baggage in my, you know, all my trauma from the whole spiritual abuse thing, you know, he brought his luggage in and baggage in and we, we open it together and we re react to it together. And hopefully we grow in emotional maturity and spiritual maturity so that we can really, um, work best together in a way that is healthy and not toxic.
SPEAKER 08 :
So we only have about a minute left. How does understanding your purpose as a couple help us plan our actions? So you want couples to have a purpose together.
SPEAKER 06 :
Absolutely. When we understand together what God is calling us to do together, not as individuals, we are able to make intentional decisions and goals so that we stay focused on that as God continues to sanctify us and work with us and grow us as individuals, but also as couples.
SPEAKER 08 :
Well, and obviously you as a couple, one of your big purposes is ministry.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yes. Yes. And that is so, I mean, you just, whether you’re in full-time ministry, quote unquote, and that’s your job or not, you’re in ministry. And to understand that we are, Jesus with skin on, and we’re the ones that are going to make a statement with our lives and with the things we do and the things we decide and the things we say yes to and the things we say no to. We are speaking to all the people that are watching us, including our family members and everyone else.
SPEAKER 08 :
All right, Athena Dean-Holtz, give us a website where people can find you.
SPEAKER 06 :
athena dean holtz.com or together for a purpose.com thank you so much athena what a blessing to have you on that on the good news you bet angie thanks for having me
SPEAKER 04 :
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SPEAKER 05 :
Goodwin, Kansas is tuned to the mighty 670 KLT Denver.
SPEAKER 08 :
Hey there, friend, Angie Austin and Dr. Cheryl Lentz with the good news. Dr. Cheryl Lentz, the academic entrepreneur. Hey, friend, how are you?
SPEAKER 09 :
Hi there. Good, good, good. Loving that spring is coming. I’m looking out my window and the plants are starting to see daylight. I like it.
SPEAKER 08 :
Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. Okay. So I have these 40 questions that I worked on last week and they’re just kind of life questions, but I thought they were super fun in it. I’m really into our friend Jim Stovall’s Golden List, and I’ve been doing it more regularly, the 10 things that you’re grateful for every day, and that really helps you appreciate life, because every time I’m on his list, he lets me know, and probably once a year, I make his list, and he said I was right below a crystal, which is really solid territory, he said, so… That’s nice. Yeah, I know. I love it. Okay. So I thought this was, I’m going to make this into a two part. So first, the first part of the question is, what do you want to remember forever? And it shows a sunset. And I think about one New Year’s Eve sitting with friends on a beach in California in Marina del Rey, right by Venice Beach, looking at a sunset thinking, I’ll remember this moment forever. And I’m sure there are other things. So while you’re answering, I’m going to think, what do you want to remember forever?
SPEAKER 09 :
Wow. I think I want to remember when my Siberian Husky, George, picked me for the first time. It was the most magical moment because he stood on his back legs. He put one of his paws on either side of my shoulders. And looked me right in the eye as if to say, yep, you’ll do. You’re my new mom. And as if that was just the decision that needed to be made. And he made it. And we took him home. And unfortunately, he died about six years later. He died young. But it was the most magical thing I’ve ever seen to connect to nature with the fact that I was being evaluated and found that I was good. Yeah.
SPEAKER 08 :
Wow, that is so I love that. I love that. I mean, I think there’s like several like moments, you know, you remember, I remember once, shortly after my brother died, and it was like, there was a bad I mean, he was murdered. And there was just a bad experience that happened after that. And I remember just being in my condo in Marina Del Rey, it was right on the oceanfront, which that that wasn’t bad news. And I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I um and no one was on the beach because it was a little bit stormy but there was this like a ray of light that was shining on this one lone guy um walking on the beach and my brother had done that a painting of you know when jesus talks about how what you know you see two sets of footprints but then you only see one in the sand yes and that he’s carrying you through the difficult you know part of your journey and that’s why you only see one set of prints And so he looked like that from a distance. You know, it looked like the one man walking in the sand. And my brother had done this painting. And after he was murdered, I did get some of his paintings. And that was one that I did that I received. And I got chills. Yeah, I got the chills because no one’s out there. It’s starting to rain already. The wind and the sand are blowing, but there is this stream of sunlight on this man that looked like the Jesus painting my brother had done. And I just felt a sense of peace, like that he was okay, that he was in heaven, like that moment, that picture, that visual, like I can really see in my mind. And that’s the whole feeling of when you really know God is real, when you have that peace that surpasses all understanding. So that’s a cool one for me, I think, to remember for sure. Okay. Okay, and I’m going to change this. What do you want to be remembered for?
SPEAKER 09 :
Ah, that one’s easy because this is the legacy exercise you and I have talked about, you know, in terms of what, you know, when you write your obituary, what are they going to say about you kind of a thing. I’d like to be remembered as the writer. I mean, the ability to be able to take the academic and have made a mark in the world that advanced society in some way, right? Somebody reads something, gets inspired and does something amazing. You know, that’s what I’d like to have my writing accomplished someday.
SPEAKER 08 :
You know, I was watching, there’s a lot of these interviews on Instagram, and that’s beautiful, by the way, what you just said. A lot of these videos on Instagram where they’re asking male athletes, like college athletes, or they were asking the Nuggets, like, who’s the most important person in your life? Or, you know, what do you want to say? It was just amazing to me how much people love their mothers, right? Like many people really love their moms and they were talking about, you know, their moms or how often do you call your mom every day? I’m not ashamed. I call my mom every day or whatever. And just the love that many people have for their mother. So I hope I’m remembered by my kids as being a good mom and that they know that I love them. But secondly, um i think i you know my big thing on forgiveness how i really feel like i’m a forgiveness ambassador and that i really want people to know that uh i i cared about and i could forgive but i also wanted others prompted others to forgive that’s very sweet in there that’s the contributing to the soul of the world i mean that’s beautiful Okay. What do you appreciate most about your current situation? What do you appreciate most about your current situation?
SPEAKER 09 :
That’s easy. I’m at the end of the life with my Siberian Husky and every day I get with her as a gift. And so we spend as much time as we can together. And today we were at the vet getting her a pain shot and She was so animated and having such a good day and just all kinds of kisses and hugs. And I’m like, that’s what I want to remember is the time that I made that magic happen for as long as we can.
SPEAKER 08 :
Oh, that’s awesome. I like that, you know, working from home and only working part time that I do get to spend a lot of time with my kids and I don’t miss any sporting event unless they’re at exactly the same time in different areas. I’m there for any school event, any academic event, any sporting event. Like, I can do everything. I mean, we literally live, like, you know, half a mile from the school. Like, I can see it from our hill.
SPEAKER 09 :
Oh, that’s wonderful. That connection is really important in that foundation you’re building. Well done.
SPEAKER 08 :
Yeah, love that. Okay, what do you always look forward to? What do you always look forward to? Oh, we’re doing a family cruise next week. I love family vacations.
SPEAKER 09 :
Oh, nice. Good for you. I look forward to when I go to church, and this is going to be a little self-serving, but the church is because I love the pipe organ. And last Sunday in particular, I go and it’s great that church is there, but I will tell you, I go mostly for the music. And he was absolutely in rare form on Sunday. And it just lifts my spirits and makes me smile to have that incredible instrument playing. played so well by such a maestro that it was just, I was joyful all along. Do you say anything to him when he plays like that? You know, I’m one of the few that does stay after church when he does a little mini concert. You know, he’ll finish the last hymn in church and then he’ll play something after. And sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t. But I’m one of the few that, I’m not in church praying, quite frankly. I’m in church listening to that majestic instrument that he’s playing and hopefully that he feels appreciated. I often applaud when I leave And I’ve talked and met him on a couple of occasions, but just that talent in his hands are just amazing.
SPEAKER 08 :
Oh, that’s why. Is it a Catholic church, by the way? It is. It is.
SPEAKER 07 :
St. Raphael’s.
SPEAKER 08 :
I figured that that would be an area where you would still be able to get an organ played like that, you know, because of the expense of the organ.
SPEAKER 09 :
It’s a mini cathedral, you know, but I know pipe organs are going the way of the dodo in favor of. innovation and less expensive options that supposedly sound that way. And I’m like, yeah, no, there’s no substitute for the real thing.
SPEAKER 08 :
Wow. What’s it? Yeah. So I say, yeah, for me, a lot of the family vacations are, um, this is an interesting one. What the world needs most right now, what the world needs most right now.
SPEAKER 09 :
That to me is easy. Kindness.
SPEAKER 08 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 09 :
So many people are so angry about so much. that if we just dialed it back a little bit and smiled and understood that not everybody’s having an easy time with this, and wouldn’t it be great to be able to just smile and be a little bit more understanding and a little bit more patient whether it’s driving whether it’s the grocery store i had three people hold the door for me the other day and it was just at the um the culver’s restaurant and it was just so sweet that they went out of their way and people were trying just to be nice and i’m like that’s the way it should be so yes yeah i mean you’re right that isn’t as common as it used to be i mean it is wow okay um all right uh i um
SPEAKER 08 :
What do you enjoy? Give me three things you really enjoy doing. I always think of when I think of kayaking and things like outdoorsy things, I think of you.
SPEAKER 09 :
That was my first one. I got to be on the water, kayaking, absolutely. Anything that has to do with the water could be a ferry ride, could be a boat ride, could be just sitting by the water. Water has such a calming effect with me. Anything with live music, live musicians. I’m going to a band Friday night and I’m always uplifted by the energy of not just a recording, not just the radio, but actually that energy in person when you have live musicians sharing their gift with the world. And I guess the third one would be, you know, spending time with my little girl. Oh, like your doggy. Yeah, exactly. It’s just that connection with, again, she’s a part of nature and she’s my little girl. And It’s just magic when you connect because she loves me unconditionally, and she’s probably the only one in my world that will just, no matter what it is, mom can do no wrong. I kind of like that.
SPEAKER 08 :
Well, I really like that, too. I really look forward to family gym night. I look forward to hanging out in the backyard with all my pets. I even bring the cats out because they’ll go in when I tell them to go in, so it’s the two cats and the three dogs. But going to my kids’ tournaments, that’s always really fun because we usually turn it into some kind of family vacation. We’re doing Vegas and Salt Lake and Orlando.
SPEAKER 09 :
Wow, that’s crisscrossing the country.
SPEAKER 08 :
Yeah, and I did Anaheim with my son. So that one was fun too. I mean, it was just he and I that time. So that was really fun that we got to spend time together. He stayed with the team, but I still got to spend a lot of time with him. And then let’s see. Just time together as a family, that’s some of my favorite, like watching a movie together. We used to do family game night. Now that they’re a little older, we don’t do that as much as we used to, but since we do family gym night, I think that is right up there. Okay, happiness is a blank. Happiness is a blank.
SPEAKER 09 :
Happiness is time with my inner circle of friends, whomever they are, whenever they are. It’s a people thing. You just got to connect with others.
SPEAKER 08 :
Yeah, I would say that Harvard Happiness Project, it’s gone on for decades. They found that the largest indicator, most powerful indicator of happiness is connections, friendships, people, family. And so in the last year, I’ve taken it very seriously. And I’ve seen three of my best friends from high school, my cousins, all of my sister cousins, the ones that are like, You know, cousins that are more like sisters to me. I’ve seen all of them. And we’ll do get-togethers with this group of cousins. There’s like five of us.
SPEAKER 07 :
Oh, nice.
SPEAKER 08 :
Yeah, and our spouses or, you know, whomever. Kids might come along, too, because they’re close to my… I have the youngest kids. So, yeah. So, I like that. I enjoy that. Okay, what’s something… And again, if you’re listening, join in. Think about some of these things for yourself because it might brighten your day. What’s something positive you try to keep in mind when negativity surrounds you?
SPEAKER 09 :
Oh, what’s something positive? I always value music and knowing that I can change my course just by changing my attitude. So it’s always if something’s not going right and it’s negative, I’m always looking to music as the solution to lighten my soul.
SPEAKER 07 :
I like that. What are you grateful for? What are you grateful for?
SPEAKER 09 :
Oh, goodness. I’m grateful for where I am. I know some people have done some, you know, I’ve been struggling with isolation and COVID and connection. And I know I’m grateful to be here. when I wasn’t sure that I still would be when I was back in high school. I never thought I’d make it past high school. So every day for me is a gift that I’m still here.
SPEAKER 08 :
Oh, high school was hard for you?
SPEAKER 09 :
No, it was I was really ill. Oh, I was going in there. And so the point was that they weren’t sure exactly some of those challenges because I went to the Mayo Clinic quite a bit. And they were just thinking I was I’ve been told three times in my life I was checking out. And so I had not had high hopes that I would live a long life. And so to me, it was like anything past high school was a gift.
SPEAKER 08 :
I love that. Oh, I forgot. What does the world mean more of? I think faith, like my Christian faith, our Christian faith does definitely, you know, give peace. All right, DrCherylLentz.com, always fun, friend, to have you on the program. Thank you. Thank you. Have a good one.
SPEAKER 01 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
In this enlightening episode of The Good News with Angie Austin, we dive deep into the incredible journey of Athena Dean Holtz. From facing heartbreak and spiritual challenges to finding love and purpose, Athena shares her unique story of redemption. As one of the authors of ‘Together for a Purpose: Love and Mission in Marriage and Ministry,’ Athena discusses the hurdles and joys of blending personal faith with marital commitment. Learn how Athena overcame a tumultuous past and ultimately found peace and mission alongside her husband, Dr. Ross Holtz.
