Join us in this episode as we venture into the bizarre world of Florida Man stories, shedding light on a tenacious individual’s quest to recover his stolen Ram TRX. It’s a story right out of a detective novel, featuring GPS tricks, marketplace finds, and a daring retrieval mission that takes us across state lines. Get to know the man whose determination might just be leading him into a new career as a private investigator. We also touch upon the shocking tale of a revenge-fueled gamer who couldn’t separate virtual reality from real life. While we’re delving into gripping narratives,
If you like true crime, you’ll love the Miracle Files podcast.
SPEAKER 09 :
We share real stories with the suspense of true crime, but we’ll leave you with a sense of light and hope.
SPEAKER 08 :
Like the college wrestler who fought a grizzly, the woman who was dead for nearly an hour, or the child lost in a dark mine for days. These are the kind of stories that remind us miracles are real.
SPEAKER 09 :
Subscribe to the Miracle Files wherever you get your podcasts and join us on this thrilling journey of faith and miracles.
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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 13 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 01 :
An angry Florida man got his stolen Ram TRX back himself. You got to be careful with doing this. This guy can do it. I mean, he looks like, you know, he can handle himself. He had his beloved Ram TRX stolen from in front of his house. So he took matters in his own hands. First, he contacted the police and waited for the Broward Sheriff’s Office to perform an investigation. But when that started to drag on and on, he started searching for info about where his truck might be. He was randomly looking at Facebook Marketplace. And then he got a notification that an additional 800 miles had been logged on to the TRX’s odometer. And the thieves thought they disabled the GPS tracker, but apparently Ram still sent the key notification to the man. So he had that. And then he went looking at cities that far away. He checked Facebook Marketplace again, and he found his stolen truck listed for sale near Nashville. He discovered the seller had ads for quite a few other things, thinking that they’re all stolen. And so he noticed that the vehicles, there was a house in the background of all the photos. He spent nine hours on Google Maps using Street View, combed through the area, found the location of the house. And then he reached out to the sheriff’s office in Tennessee, hopped on a plane, got his car back in one piece within hours. That’s pretty hardcore.
SPEAKER 03 :
Hire that dude.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah. Now he’s helping other people who had their cars stolen. And I think he’s thinking about a career switch and private investigation. And he’s I mean, that’s I mean, I think he’s key for it. I think you could absolutely do it. You do have to be careful with that kind of stuff, though. Like, you know, don’t be thinking that you’re going to go and and Lara Croft Tomb Raider it in there. You know, you got to be you got to be careful, folks. I got a couple of other ones here. No, I don’t want that one. Oh, okay. This one. A New Jersey man apparently flew to Florida to attack a fellow gamer with a hammer. Now, why did he do this? I bet they were playing like Fortnite. No, I’m kidding. He got mad because the fellow gamer killed him in the game. And so he decided to try to kill him in real life. I’m not even making this up. It was Nassau County Sheriff Bill Leeper said a press conference. This was yesterday announcing the charges. He said it stemmed from an online altercation. He said the case was a, quote, weird one. Edward Kang, 20 years old, gained entry into the victim’s home through an unlocked door, wearing all black clothes, gloves, and a mask, attacked him with a hammer. When the victim got up from gaming to use the bathroom late Saturday, early Sunday, the victim’s the same age as Kang. He was able to wrestle his assailant to the ground. That’s Kang, K-A-N-G, not R-K-A-N-G. And he and his stepfather was woken up by screams for help. They disarmed King and restrained him until deputies arrived. There was a lot of blood everywhere, blood on the hammer. The victim had severe head wounds during the assault. He’s been released from the hospital. And so they King told deputies that the victim is, quote, a bad person online. Wow. That’s when you’re taking it a little too seriously. You can’t be going and beating stuff with a hand. Just because you’re not good enough and you got murked in a game does not mean you get to go and murk somebody in real life. Not at all. Oh, my gosh. I can’t even tell this one. Oh, man. Nope. This is a crazy one, though. Newberry. A Florida man. Christopher Kelsey. He’s another one. He’s 47, but he looks like he’s 90. The victim told police that she and Christopher Kelsey were arguing outside of their apartment when he grabbed her by the throat and choked her. When police arrived, they said that he appeared to be intoxicated, had a strong odor of alcohol, and he told them multiple times to… How do I put this? Uh… I don’t know. There’s literally no way I can put this. He told the police to do something unflattering to him with his male copulatory organs. Yes, that’s all I’m going to say. Multiple times, which guess what? That doesn’t go over well with the cops. His bond is at $100,000. He has five previous battery convictions. Gold prices have surged over 40% since January 2024, consistently reaching new highs. According to Goldman Sachs research, the upward trend is expected to persist due to strong demand from central banks. It’s stuff like this that’s made me take action and why I’ve bought precious metals like gold and silver. I’ve partnered with a great company that makes it super easy to buy. Easy, transparent, and simple. And that company is Goldco. They’re a huge supporter of this show and they’re the best at what they do. And right now you can get a free 2025 gold and silver kit jam-packed with critical information about buying precious metals. It was a huge help, not just for me, but to all of you if you do this. And for my audience, you could also qualify for up to a 10% instant match in bonus silver. It’s a really great deal. So don’t miss out. Visit danalikesgold.com to learn more. That’s danalikesgold.com.
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Democrats now insist they have a huge momentum shift after those special elections turned out pretty much like we thought they would. President Trump has the audacity to claim he should be able to decide who works for him. And Trump makes the media look like Wile E. Coyote again over comments about a third term. I’m Greg Karambas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad, and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 01 :
Can we talk about Lesbian Visibility Week? No. Yeah, we need to. Because I didn’t know it was this week. I don’t really want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s this week. Hold up. It’s this week. It goes until Friday. Apparently it kicked off, what, yesterday, today? Lesbian Visibility Week? It has a graphic so you know it’s official. When they come out with graphics, it’s official. Lesbian Visibility Week. The one week which you can see lesbians. Any other time. And look, the graphic. Juan’s showing you the graphic on the simulcast. It is official with that graphic. It’s Lesbian Visibility Week. It’s the week where lesbians can uncloak themselves and be visible in our community. That’s right. You didn’t know that, did you? They have the power of… There could be… I mean, well, this week they can’t. But any other time, there could be an invisible lesbian in your car, Cain. You would know it because they’re invisible.
SPEAKER 11 :
I had no idea.
SPEAKER 01 :
I’m telling you. And I have to read this tweet. I saw this last night from now. Her name is Governor Tina Kotek. I read it as Tina Kotek’s. And I’m like, that makes all the sense in the world. She tweeted, I’m one of two lesbians who hold the title of governor in the United States. I’m proud to live in and serve a state where every person can be their authentic selves. How are you not being your authentic selves? Now, this is going to blow your mind, but hold up. Do you know that there are actual lesbians that go to work and don’t talk about how they’re lesbians all the time and preface everything with, did you know I’m a lesbian?
SPEAKER 03 :
That’s how they’re invisible.
SPEAKER 01 :
I’m telling you. I mean, if you’re a lesbian and you’re not telling everybody you’re a lesbian, are you a lesbian? It’s like if a tree falls in the woods, you know? Here’s my question with the whole thing. Again, I have my scratched eye, so deal with me. If they’re invisible lesbians, this angers me. Why are they not going out on strike teams? Think about the baddies that we don’t like El Chapo or something like when he’s on that, we could have sent in an invisible lesbian strike team and they could have just kill build El Chapo, right? And then that would have been the wiser because invisible, right? Invisible. I just don’t understand. And then you get this governor who says, I’m one of two. Well, I why do people have to constantly affix to themselves these identity politic boxes? It’s like they think that somehow their specialness is magnified by however many identity boxes they attach. Right. So like, OK, you’re a lesbian. What if you’re a trans lesbian? Oh, my gosh, that person’s more special than you are. I just, you know, I don’t sit here and tell people, like, I really like guacamole, and I’m, like, really proud to be, like, a big guacamole lover here behind the mic. You know what I mean? I just don’t do that kind of stuff. I don’t understand why, you know, it doesn’t make any sense to me why people do this. I don’t know. I mean, then DOD needs to send them out as strike teams. I’m still trying to get over Governor Kotex. I’m one of two people who believe the number of intersectional boxes you check determines your worth. Hold the title. That’s what she’s basically saying. Stop with this stuff. This is so goofy. You don’t constantly, you know, need to list identity politics as like your lead in order to somehow give you worth. I mean, you have worth without all of this stuff. It just looks, it just is goofy. We need a whole month devoted to how we get it on. What about like straight dudes into fat chicks or, you know, skinny dudes into, you know, super skinny? I don’t know. Like, I mean, are we just going to start dudes who pee sitting down? They get a whole visibility week. Like, how are we? Is this where we’re going to go? Every little thing has to be played up as some sort of like identity politic check, you know, box check.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yes. Representation, I guess.
SPEAKER 01 :
I mean, but why are you not having representation is my question. Like for those, you know.
SPEAKER 04 :
Faking that you don’t have representation is kind of the grift.
SPEAKER 01 :
I mean, you’re a governor. I’m pretty sure you’re visible. No one sees me. I’m the lesbian governor. How did you get to be governor? Well, I was a lesbian and then I talked about running for office. That’s what. I think she’s a DEI hire personally. But yeah, I was really trying to get over Governor Kotak. It’s Kotak, but still. As we move, our partners that help bring you the program, it’s our friends over at Caltech, the PR57, chambered in 5-7, a really great game-changing gun program. from Caltech. This thing is amazing. MSRP only $399, so you can afford to get it, and it’s one that you absolutely should have. The other really cool thing with this is that it’s 40% lighter than the next lightest 5.7 that’s on the market. It has a unique top-loading design, so it replaces the traditional magazine with a stripper clip, so you get a slimmer carry profile and a You have a 20 plus one capacity. This super innovative rotary barrel makes it really light as well. I mean, you got 21, 20 plus one capacity. You know, it’s thinner. It’s lighter. It’s one. It’s a five seven. I could actually reasonably conceal carry my other five seven. I cannot. And it’s all designed in Florida. George Kellgren, the folks at Caltech, they’re just geniuses. This is a great gun. It’s the first of its kind. Kel-Tec PR-57 Rotary Barrel Pistol. Visit Kel-TecWeapons.com to learn more. Innovation Performance. Kel-Tec. K-E-L-T-E-C. Weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
SPEAKER 13 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 01 :
It’s a good thing we’re here then. All right, scratch that addition. Money worries. 13% of Americans, only 13, feel confident about their finances. Thanks, Joe Biden. You’re so great. You just made the economy so great. 13% of Americans feel really good about their finances. 84% believe financial planning is more important than ever. And the top financial goals for Americans, according to a recent study, saving money, reducing debt and establishing emergency funds. So good. U.S. dollar falls to a three year low as Trump’s Powell threats further dent investor confidence. I just say, can we please give consumers a shot in the arm of taxes? I’m going to go crazy. complete honey-baked ham on some of these lawmakers if they do not make permanent these tax cuts. So help me. So the dollars fall into a three-year low. And of course, investors don’t feel confident with anything. Fell as low as 97.92 on Monday. It’s the lowest since March of 22. This wealthy West Coast city is in danger of becoming the next Detroit. Saved you a click. It’s L.A. Los Angeles they said it’s going to be like the next Detroit because everybody’s leaving there’s a huge exodus of big budget TV and film production like Mel Gibson’s shooting stuff here in Texas now literally in Dallas Fort Worth Taylor Sheridan a lot of people are coming out and they’re leaving Hollywood and apparently they’re not yet they haven’t yet triggered a crisis but they’re getting close to they said on location production in the city fell by almost 25% in the first quarter of this year compared to the same time last year And of course, you have high state taxes. Industry leaders are lobbying for an entertainment production tax. They want a 35 percent credit. Man, not going to happen. Also, this. Oh, oh. I’m so sorry. You guys remember the Senate twink who used the Senate hearing room for some same-sex sexy times and made a video of it? Well, he moved to Australia and started an OnlyFans. Of course he did. That’s all you need to know. I feel like there were signs. The new pornographer’s drummer apparently was arrested for child pornography. His bandmates are horrified. The drummer for the new pornographers arrested for having child pornography came. Just saying. Can we talk about Lesbian Visibility Week? Yeah, we need to, because I didn’t know it was this week. I don’t really want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s this week. Hold up. It’s this week. It goes until Friday. Apparently, it kicked off, what, yesterday, today? Lesbian Visibility Week? It has a graphic, so you know it’s official. When they come out with graphics, it’s official. Lesbian Visibility Week. The one week which you can see lesbians. Any other time. And look, the graphic. Juan’s shown you the graphic on the simulcast. It is official with that graphic. It’s Lesbian Visibility Week. It’s the week where lesbians can uncloak themselves and be visible in our community. That’s right. You didn’t know that, did you? They have the power of… There could be… I mean, well, this week they can’t. But any other time, there could be an invisible lesbian in your car, Cain. You would know it because they’re invisible.
SPEAKER 11 :
I had no idea.
SPEAKER 01 :
I’m telling you. And I have to read this tweet. I saw this last night. Now, her name is Governor Tina Kotek. I read it as Tina Koteks. And I’m like, that makes all the sense in the world. She tweeted, I’m one of two lesbians who hold the title of governor in the United States. I’m proud to live in and serve a state where every person can be their authentic selves. How are you not being your authentic selves? Now, this is going to blow your mind, but hold up. Do you know that there are actual lesbians that go to work and don’t talk about how they’re lesbians all the time and preface everything with, did you know I’m a lesbian?
SPEAKER 03 :
That’s how they’re invisible.
SPEAKER 01 :
I’m telling you. I mean, if you’re a lesbian and you’re not telling everybody you’re a lesbian, are you a lesbian? It’s like if a tree falls in the woods, you know? Here’s my question with the whole thing. Again, I have my scratched eye, so deal with me. If they’re invisible lesbians, this angers me. Why are they not going out on strike teams? Think about the baddies that we don’t like El Chapo or something like when he’s on that, we could have sent in an invisible lesbian strike team and they could have just kill build El Chapo, right? And then that would have been the wiser because invisible, right? Invisible. I just don’t understand. And then you get this governor who says, I’m one of two. Well, I why do people have to constantly affix to themselves these identity politic boxes? It’s like they think that somehow their specialness is magnified by however many identity boxes they attach. Right. So like, OK, you’re a lesbian. What if you’re a trans lesbian? Oh, my gosh, that person is more special than you are. I just, you know, I don’t sit here and tell people, like, I really like guacamole, and I’m, like, really proud to be, like, a big guacamole lover here behind the mic. You know what I mean? I just don’t do that kind of stuff. I don’t understand why, you know, it doesn’t make any sense to me why people do this. I don’t know. I mean, then DOD needs to send them out as strike teams. I’m still trying to get over Governor Kotex. I’m one of two people who believe the number of intersectional boxes you check determines your worth. Hold the title. That’s what she’s basically saying. Stop with this stuff. This is so goofy. You don’t constantly need to list identity politics as your lead in order to somehow give you worth. I mean, you have worth without all of this stuff. It just is goofy. We need a whole month devoted to how we get it on. What about like straight dudes into fat chicks or, you know, skinny dudes into, you know, super skinny? I don’t know. Like, I mean, are we just going to start dudes who pee sitting down? They get a whole visibility week. Like, how are we? Is this where we’re going to go? Every little thing has to be played up as some sort of like identity politic check, you know, box check.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yes. Representation, I guess.
SPEAKER 01 :
I mean, but why are you not having representation, is my question. Like, for those, you know?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, faking that you don’t have representation is kind of the grift.
SPEAKER 01 :
I mean, you’re a governor. I’m pretty sure you’re visible. No one sees me. I’m the lesbian governor. How did you get to be governor? Well, I was a lesbian, and then I talked about running for office. That’s what. I think she’s a DEI hire, personally. But, yeah, I was really trying to get over Governor Kotak. It’s Kotak, but still.
SPEAKER 06 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Absurd Truth: Lesbian Visibility Week
Join us in this episode as we venture into the bizarre world of Florida Man stories, shedding light on a tenacious individual’s quest to recover his stolen Ram TRX. It’s a story right out of a detective novel, featuring GPS tricks, marketplace finds, and a daring retrieval mission that takes us across state lines. Get to know the man whose determination might just be leading him into a new career as a private investigator. We also touch upon the shocking tale of a revenge-fueled gamer who couldn’t separate virtual reality from real life. While we’re delving into gripping narratives,
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