This episode promises not only laughs from the Sunshine State’s notorious Florida Man stories but also thought-provoking discussion on controversial education policies. We take you through a spirited debate on the exposure of young children to sensitive topics in schools and highlight the importance of parental choice in these critical matters. With expert insights, we examine how these educational controversies unfold and their potential implications on our social fabric.
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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
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Well, well, well, a Florida USPS worker. This is probably why none of my packages ever get to my house and why it takes me. It literally takes a month to send a piece of mail from my house to St. Louis. I’m not even kidding you. That’s how long it takes. A USPS worker was arrested this month in Melbourne, Florida, because she decided to stop off at a house party during her route and drink a bunch of vodka. And then later in the mail truck, apparently she was caught driving the wrong way in traffic. Dude, that’s a probable cause affidavit via Click Orlando. Caitlin Dye, 33, was arrested on April 12th on a charge of DUI. They literally, Melbourne police, they called and said, yeah, there’s a USPS truck driving the wrong way down the highway. and the driver is literally just throwing plastic cups out of the vehicle. So the officers responded, and they saw the mail truck driving west on East University Boulevard, and then it made a U-turn to head the other way, and it was swerving in and out of its lane, and then went back into the opposite lane. They pulled over the mail truck, and they said that Di appeared to be confused and disoriented. They did a field sobriety exercise, and of course she did not do well in those. They questioned her, and she said that she was delivering to a home And she was invited inside for a party, and she took some vodka shots before she left, and then she got pulled over. So they asked her why she was swerving in and out of traffic, and she goes, oh, I was tired. I was taking a nap. And she said that she threw the cup out of the vehicle because she was swishing her mouth out with water so she wouldn’t smell like alcohol. She was booked in a Brevard County jail. I mean, there you go right there. Woo! boy uh now we got another guy wrestling another gator every dang week in florida you can go wrestle a gator so jacksonville florida uh let’s see uh after an easter dinner they had to call a gator trapper a family did in jacksonville because uh there was a giant gator in their yard a woman was getting ready to take her dog out when she noticed a seven foot alligator right by the slide door of her patio And she said she was just finishing up Easter dinner with family and she was she needed to get the alligator off the property. But she had to get some help. And that’s when Mike Dragich arrived and shoeless. And he wrestled this gator into a garbage can. And it’s actually hysterical looking because it kept popping up and hissing at everybody. It couldn’t get out of the can, but it kept popping up to hiss. And nobody got bit. Thankfully, they called Florida Fish and Wildlife and they were able to take the gator. But yeah, you got to be careful. I wouldn’t be able to let like my dogs out. Or well, we could probably kill one. Wick is hardcore. Wild raccoon attack. A Florida woman speaks out because she suffered one in her backyard. They’re not pets. She said as soon as she opened up her back door, it bit her on the leg. It was like Monty Python screaming and a crazy raccoon. And she couldn’t shake him off. And he chased her into a corner. And they had to call, she had to go to the emergency room. Animal control had to respond. Thankfully, the animal tested negative for rabies, but it was very aggressive. They had to relocate it. Man, crazy raccoons biting ladies’ legs in Florida. Gold prices have surged over 40% since January 2024, consistently reaching new highs. According to Goldman Sachs research, the upward trend is expected to persist due to strong demand from central banks. It’s stuff like this that’s made me take action and why I’ve bought precious metals like gold and silver. I’ve partnered with a great company that makes it super easy to buy. Easy, transparent, and simple. And that company is Goldco. They’re a huge supporter of this show and they’re the best at what they do. And right now you can get a free 2025 gold and silver kit jam-packed with critical information about buying precious metals. It was a huge help, not just for me, but to all of you if you do this. And for my audience, you could also qualify for up to a 10% instant match in bonus silver. It’s a really great deal. So don’t miss out. Visit danalikesgold.com to learn more. That’s danalikesgold.com.
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If you work in quality control at a candy factory, you know strict safety regulations come with the job. It’s why you partner with Grainger. Grainger helps you find the high-quality and compliant products your business needs to inspect, detect, and help correct issues. And the sweetest part is, everyone gets a product that’s as safe to eat as it is delicious. Call 1-800-GRAINGER, clickgrainger.com, or just stop by. Grainger, for the ones who get it done.
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I wanted to play this audio, too, from Ketanji Brown Jackson. Because they’ve been arguing, making the oral arguments before SCOTUS in this Maryland case, right? With parents that don’t want their kids to learn about nudie stuff when they’re in third grade. Seems right, right? I want you to listen to what she says here in this audio soundbite 18.
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I guess I’m struggling to see how it burdens a parent’s religious exercise if the school teaches something that the parent disagrees with. You have a choice. You don’t have to send your kid to that school. You can put them in another situation.
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First off, that is such a disingenuous argument, and I can’t stand her vocal fry. This is such a disingenuous argument. You’re not burdening a parent’s religious exercise. That’s not what is at issue. What is at issue is whether or not young children should be exposed to sexually explicit age-inappropriate material. If you were to do this in any other setting, that might actually constitute something of an abusive nature. But somehow it’s supposed to be sanctified because it’s presented in a quote-unquote educational setting. I mean, I would like to know what educational value a second grader can garner from learning about pegging. Don’t Google it. Well, Cain, I mean, I need to make the point. Did you just do a Baptist face palm at me? You did.
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I don’t know if that’s what it looks like.
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But still, am I right? I’m right.
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Yeah, I mean, you are.
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I needed to illustrate that.
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Some truths are hard to hear.
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That’s right. Because as jarring as it is to hear, imagine how jarring it is when you’re a second grader and you open up a book at school and it features two dudes. Well… You get the idea. Or a girl who’s pretending to be a boy. And I don’t even want them learning about like regular straight, you know, sex. I don’t even want them learning about that when they’re that young. That’s something for parents to determine. And it needs to be in the context that parents choose. You cannot just ambush little bitty kids with sexually explicit inappropriate material. That has nothing to do with religious exercise. That has nothing to do with whether or not a parent disagrees or agrees with it. It has to do with whether or not you think exposing children to sexually explicit material constitutes as a form of abuse, which I do. I mean, why are strangers so obsessed with showing kids pictures of people having sex? Because all of these books that are being discussed in this Maryland case, every one of them does that. If you were in a supermarket and some stranger was trying to show your kid pictures of people having sex, you would call the cops. So why is it any different without your permission in a school setting? That’s the whole point. That’s what we’re all asking. That’s the whole point. I mean, it’s an elementary school kids. I’m not exaggerating. These are little kids. Goodness. When I was a little kid, I thought that literally a stork brought children. A giant bird brought children. Yeah. Um, I don’t know when I stopped believing that, but I, I just remember when I was younger, that was the story. And that’s the kind of age that these kids are. And even older, like I still think even if it’s in junior high or high school, because these, these, these books that they’re talking about, they’re not educational books, they’re political expression. It’s not a book that talks about the, uh, you know, clinical attributes of this or that. It’s, it’s a book that it’s literally for the purpose of, uh, Really glorifying, not even glorifying. That’s not the right word. It’s like egregious sexual exploitation. And they’re trying to pass it off as being educational to like first and second and third graders. That’s it doesn’t matter where your politics are. I think that everybody would be like, yeah, that’s really inappropriate for kids. It’s inappropriate for junior high kids because here’s the other issue. Not every educator is the same. And you might have some of this stuff presented to kids in a really inappropriate or inarticulate way. And, I mean, with some of this stuff, I mean, that’s just not educational. And that’s brainwashing. And it has nothing to do with education. It doesn’t matter. Parents have the final say. I think parents have the final say all the way up until their kids are 18. Parents have the final say. So this is not an argument over battling people over material that they may agree or disagree with in a classroom. It is about whether or not you think that sexually explicit material is age appropriate for kids in school, like explicit stuff. One of the books that was in the library down the road from us, I mean, it was a junior high library, showed oral sex graphic. multiple pages and one of the pages it was just that like someone actually drew it shaded it in you know put all this it’s one full page showing just that and a 13 year old pulled it off the shelves how is that educational you tell me that’s just it’s just it’s a sexual fetish and they’re demanding gratification at the expense of your children’s innocence I think that if you’re pushing these books on kids, I don’t say this as a talking point. I don’t say this as a soundbite. I don’t say it to be intentionally provocative. I, with a thousand percent of my soul, believe that if you are pushing these this type of material on kids, I think that you might actually be a pedophile. Because only pedophiles do stuff like that. That’s how bad the stuff in these books is. It’s not even you can’t even say it’s a sophisticated graphic novel. I mean, there’s literally some adult drew pictures of children participating in oral sex and they put it in this book. I am not minors. I’m not kidding you. Again, you’re in the supermarket and somebody is like, hey, to your kid wants to show him nudie pictures. You would call the cops. But in school, it’s OK. And then because it’s school, they’re telling you you have no right to object to it. That’s insane. That has nothing to do with political disagreement. It had to do with religious disagreement. That is age inappropriate, period. So why are I mean, it is people aren’t wrong when they say, OK, groomer, because that’s exactly what this is. You’re you’re desensitizing people to the stuff. At that age. Why don’t you go ahead and sit him in front of a television and have him watch porn? Same thing. It’s literally the same thing. Why don’t you just bring in one of those TVs on the wheels and just show him some porn? I mean, you wouldn’t do that in school. Or you wouldn’t do that anywhere else. But that’s like the level of what they’re trying to do in school. It’s pornographic. And pornographic is, well, that’s like the least you could say about it. Yeah, if you set your kids in the living room and showed them porn, you would be arrested. Your kids would be taken away from you. You would be arrested. But they’re wanting to do just that in schools with young kids. That’s not a stretch. because I’ve looked at these books. I can’t even, in fact, I had, we had management send us an email saying we cannot show any of these images. And I can’t even describe them any more than I have for radio airwaves because I’ll get fined. Not kidding. And if we show the images on the digital stream, our videos will get taken down on YouTube because they file… They call it pornographic material. Literally. They call it pornographic material and they will pull your video down if you show images of books that they are putting in kids’ libraries. That’s how bad this stuff is. So you don’t even… I’ve seen some of it. And that’s why… I mean, I was left speechless and disgusted because… And I’ve listened to these parents, like some of the parents in Maryland. I mean, one of them was a one of their kids. They were it was a mother of a second grader. I was like, what purpose does this serve? You’re exploiting our children. It honestly, it’s a way to prey on kids. I just I can’t even believe we’re entertaining this as like serious discussion. It’s just it’s just crazy. Absolutely crazy. 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Elizabeth Warren says she thought Joe Biden was up to the job because he was able to stand. More Democrats go to El Salvador to get more famous. I mean, stand up for Abrego Garcia. And David Hogg joins the DNC and promptly announces he’ll fund challengers to Democrat incumbents. I’m Greg Karambas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs, too. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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All right, first up. Apparently, they’re trying to dim the sun over in Britain. Yeah, so this is from, I don’t know. I guess you can. I mean, this is, I saw a joke about this the other day and I thought it was, I thought this story, I’ve ignored it because I thought it was fake and it’s not. So they’re doing, they say it’s for climate change, that they’re trying to help the earth for climate change. That’s the whole, that’s the thing. So they’re wanting to dim the sun, dim the sun, And their experiments, it’s to fight global warming. And in Britain, they’re going to get the go-ahead in weeks. So they’re going to screw with the environment to stop humans from screwing with the environment. What? It doesn’t make any sense. But that’s, you know, it’s Britain and they’re run by socialists. So I don’t know. Think what you will. A single psychedelic dose shows a cognitive boost lasting weeks. What do you mean by like psychedelic? Is that like… Like hippie stuff? Like acid and mushrooms and all that? Listening to me talk about drugs is legit. It’s worse than listening to Biden talk about guns. I love it. I have no idea what I’m talking about drugs. I just know, like, you know, I know what some of my family members grow out in the woods in southern Missouri. And I know… I’m joking. Or am I? And I also, you know, I know what, you know, the hippies have done, right? I mean, I watched Dazed and Confused just like everybody else when I was growing up. So they said that long lasting effects suggests psychedelics promote meaningful enduring changes in brain plasticity and they can treat depression, PTSD and Alzheimer’s. This isn’t actually anything new. I have a really good friend, actually a group of very good friends who are combat veterans who they tried. They were tired of all of the side effects from heavy prescription medication to deal with. after they came back from combat, and they did psychedelics under doctor’s guidance, and it just changed their lives. It absolutely changed their lives. China is planning a nuclear power plant on the moon. Unfortunately, all of their stuff is made in China, so they’ll never get there. So we have a lot more on the way. Stick with us. Can we talk about one other bits and pieces? What did you do? Steve did this. I have to address it now. I feel like Before you, you know, I’m not getting into like entertainment gossip or anything like that. I hate that stuff. But I do think that this is sort of symbolic of the grifter culture. That ginger who came over here and is trying to be Prince of Montecito. What’s his face? Hairy ginger. And then his wife, who was on that game show, she had like a D-list role on some Canadian sitcom. And I don’t know, was she on like one season? I don’t know. Nobody ever watched it. Nobody knew who she was until she started dating Despair, right, from the UK. So that Meghan Markle lady, she… She is doing a cooking show on Netflix and I’ve never seen… I only watched five seconds of it and I thought she was going to cut her wrist by trying to zest a lemon. This girl has never been in the kitchen in her life. She has no idea how to do basic things. You can look when somebody’s chopping up vegetables or if they’re doing basic things, you can tell if they’ve cooked or not. I mean, she was just like with the zester using this. You’re supposed… I was dying. I was like, she’s going to cut herself watching her put stuff in a hot pot and then having long hair hanging all over the food. It was just so gross. And so audio somebody 21, Steve wants to torture me. She didn’t make the times list of, of cool people, but she did get invited there because her agency probably bought her access. I have to play this. This is one of the goofiest things ever. Palate cleanser. Go ahead, Steve, kill us.
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all things to be talking about for Time 100. Let’s talk about flower sprinkles. But let’s, because I think it speaks to the tiny moments of joy that are so effortless and just create a little bit of magic that we’re all craving. What in the hell word salad is this? Tiny little flower petals that are dried. I started putting them on salads. I started putting them on scrambled eggs. It didn’t actually matter on a yogurt parfait. I feel like she’s selling me a used car of charm that you find people have when they see these tiny little dried petals is something I can’t fully wrap my head around. But I appreciate that there is a love.
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This is people who have this sort of elocution are so incredibly fake. So I’m elevating it by putting dried flower petals on all of my food. And just, you know, it just, Cain, it adds a little bit of magic. You know, it elevates things. Okay, let’s talk about, I’m going to be mean for a minute, and bear with me. You got that image right, Juan? Mm-hmm. Let’s talk about the linen outfit. Sidebar. You’re going to, I had to, look, I had to listen to J.B. Pritzker and read an article about J.B. Pritzker. You’re going to give me this. Okay. So first up, let me go into total chick mode. All my ladies out there are going to appreciate this. I get it that there’s this like beach casual aesthetic that permeates Californian culture. I think when you’re showing up to an awards event, linen is a great material. I love linen. It’s breathable. It doesn’t really matter if it’s sprinkled, but you don’t and it can be baggy, but not too baggy. Right. These pants, I want to burn them. When you’re short-waisted, you don’t wear high-waisted pants, and you don’t wear grandma’s drapes as trousers. It’s too long. It’s too wide-legged. It emphasizes the wrinkles. It drags the ground to the point where your pants are dirty. please dear heavens if you want to elevate something elevate your influence so that you don’t have to buy off the rack and designers will give you their stuff so you don’t have to walk out looking like a timu version of kate middleton please dear heavens okay i’m done i got it on my system you were you had no idea what was happening there did you because you’re a man rightfully so no You just can’t wear big baggy stuff like that. I mean, the jacket was baggy. The shirt was baggy. Everything can’t be baggy. Pick one thing. I don’t get it. But it’s just grifterism.
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She’s not on the list. Why was she there?
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Oh, because her agency probably bought her access. Probably Netflix. They’re desperate and promoting that boondoggle that they call a cooking show where she makes like somebody got like a chemical burns from her homemade salt scrub. I mean, it’s the stupidest stuff ever. People are broke and she’s like, let’s make candles. Shut up. Let’s like be able to afford eggs. Not everybody was lucky and had a daddy that worked in Hollywood that paid for your schooling and paid for you to have access to all of this. And then you consider marrying above your station to be female empowerment while also pretending to be duchess in a country that does not recognize nor give a rat’s ass for such titles. Spare me. Good heavens. She’s the one who chartered a private plane to fly down in Texas when they had the school shooting and have a camera crew videotape her laying flowers. And then she went back. A stunt. Unbelievable.
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Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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