In this episode of The Good News, Angie Austin is joined by Kenza Haddock, an inspiring woman who shares her incredible journey from Islam to Christianity. Kenza details the profound spiritual experience that led her to embrace a new faith, defying family expectations and societal norms. She discusses the pressures and anxieties she faced growing up and how a life-changing dream about Jesus transformed her outlook on life forever.
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here’s Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with The Good News along with Kenza Haddock. Kenza is joining us for the second time. Her book is The Ex-Muslim’s Guide to Christianity. Welcome back, Kenza.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you so much, Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. So give everyone kind of a little review of your story and how you left your family and started a new life as a Christian. And you grew up as a Muslim and all of your siblings and your parents are still Muslims. Give us the lowdown.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. So I grew up in an Islamic household and my understanding of life was that I was here for a certain amount of time. And during my time in life, I was supposed to satisfy these five pillars of Islam and energy. They were all works-based. And in Islam, there’s no assurance of salvation. So talk about anxiety. My anxiety level was through the roof. And, I mean, works-based. I had to pray five times a day, fast 30 days out of the year. And even then… there was no connection with God. I believed in a God who didn’t care about having a relationship with me. And I believed that he was the one true God who I referred to as Allah. And Muslims believe that any negative circumstance that happens to you is a direct, there’s a direct correlation that it’s Allah’s punishment on your life. And so, oh yeah, by the age of 23, I was convinced that he hated me and believing that he was God. I mean, believing that the person who has the authority to send you to heaven or hell hates you. I lost the will to live and I became suicidal on top of being anxious. And I remember it was October 19th, 2012. I contemplated suicide. And as I was sitting on the couch and this fear came over me as I contemplated ending my life. And the fear came over me where I knew all of a sudden that I was spiritually bankrupt, that if I went through with ending my life, that I would end up in hell. And I didn’t know what to do. I threw out all of the Islamic rituals and I just threw myself on the ground and cried out to God, whoever would hear me, whoever at the time. And I said, God, I know that you hate me. I know that I don’t have any favor with you. Just show me the way to you. And I cried myself to sleep. And that was the night I had a dream about Jesus.
SPEAKER 06 :
No, I’m curious. Had you ever been introduced to Jesus? Did you know about Christianity? Had you ever, you know, did you have friends who were Christians?
SPEAKER 04 :
I had some friends who were Christians. We didn’t talk about Christianity much. There was a friend in particular, he was a sergeant in the military. He was a recruiter. And he was just living by example. He wasn’t, quote unquote, like trying to shove it down my throat. He was just telling me about it, but he never gave me a Bible. I wasn’t allowed to touch a Bible as a Muslim. At least within the context of my family, we weren’t allowed to. And what I believed was that Jesus was a prophet and that Christians were misled. Oh. Yes, that’s what I believed.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, so this dream was life-changing because you had reached the end of your rope, didn’t really want to go on anymore, cried out to a God you thought hated you, and you were answered by a dream about Jesus.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, yes. Yes. And I felt a peace. Mind you, I had I mean, anxiety was my norm, a state of anxiety. And I felt a peace that I had never felt before when I when I saw Jesus. And so he’s the real deal. And so I didn’t know where to go from there. It took about 10 months for me to give my life to Jesus since the dream.
SPEAKER 03 :
Wow.
SPEAKER 06 :
That is, I mean, really, you’re like a walking miracle in a way, because it’s just crazy how this happened. You wouldn’t even believe that this could happen to a person who was surrounded by a family so strong in their beliefs.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. Yes. It speaks to the sovereignty of God as well, you know, the way he leads us. And I do, looking back, Angie, I believe that the Holy Spirit was leading, you know. He was leading me little by little. And I tell brothers and sisters in the faith now, I’m like, you know, you never know. Don’t ever assume that a coworker knows how to get saved. Don’t ever assume that a classmate or your neighbor knows how to walk with Jesus just because, you know, it doesn’t matter where we live. Here in South Carolina, it’s called the Bible Belt, but it doesn’t matter where we live because I didn’t know how to get safe. I thought I needed to take tests and pass quizzes, and I had no idea.
SPEAKER 06 :
Wow. All right, so you write the book that we’ve discussed before, The Ex-Muslim’s Guide to Christianity. You’ve got a family now. You’re married, you’re a mom, and your family still tries to get you back. Your parents and your siblings still believe you should return to them and leave your Christian faith. And so you’re constantly living under, I would assume, a little bit of fear or anxiety, even though you do have the peace that comes along with your relationship with Christ. And you write this book. What are some of the questions that you receive the most from people about the book or issues that you really feel you’re helping people with?
SPEAKER 04 :
A lot of times, especially when I dealt with persecution from family, The questions I dealt with were, why would a family member try to come after you? Are you referring to questions from just anyone?
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, just in general. If people said, hey, you wrote this book, what are people saying to you? What are you hearing? What’s the feedback you’re getting?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. I think a lot of people are surprised that… this sin of apostasy is dealt with here in the United States. I think a lot of, and I understand that. I understand the concern because we think that people only deal with that outside of the United States. We believe in, you know, freedom of religion. We’re allowed to be believers if we want to follow Jesus here in the United States. Unfortunately, you know, Leaving Islam is not easy. It’s not celebrated by family. And so that is something that has been a surprise to many. And so I explained that the Sharia law is clear that, you know, for apostates, they should be given an invitation to return. But at the end of the day, you know, leaving Islam is basically signing your own death warrants.
SPEAKER 06 :
It’s so scary. I just admire your courage. You left your family because you believed that Jesus was the way and that you’d found this peace after not wanting to live anymore and now have this beautiful life and feel kind of a calling to talk to other people about Christianity. I’m assuming you get a lot of pushback as well about what you’re doing.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yes. A lot of times I think it’s more so the question is, are you being politically correct? And it’s not my my intention is not so much being politically correct. It’s sharing the truth. And the truth is, Jesus is the Lord. I mean, at the end of the day, we are all going to face him as as a judge. And we’re either going to go to heaven or go to hell. And, I mean, that’s just the truth. It’s not my opinion.
SPEAKER 06 :
Wait, I thought Muslims would be coming after you. You’re saying people maybe who lean a little more liberal are saying that by you saying the ex-Muslims’ guide to Christianity, Ken, said that somehow you’re not being politically correct. You’re not honoring them and their beliefs by you saying you switched yours and, hey, Christianity is something I want to tell you about.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. Yes, more so that. It’s because I’m being more bold in my faith. It’s like I’m choosing one side, but really I’m not. I’m just being on the side of truth.
SPEAKER 1 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, and here you are, a woman who really feels as though you have more rights now in your current lifestyle, and then people are telling you that, oh, it’s not right the way that you’re representing Islam and Christianity, and in a way you might be offending Muslims by doing that. But in reality, what I think people don’t understand sometimes is that Your life now that you chose for yourself and that you’re trying to open up and tell other people about is one with so much more freedom as a woman. I mean, we’re not even talking fake, just as a woman.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, yes, absolutely. Oh, absolutely. I mean, I merely existed before. I mean, to the point where I was clinically looking back, I was clinically depressed and anxious. And now, yes, that’s where I got boldness from.
SPEAKER 06 :
I mean, it’s him. So tell me what you’re teaching people, what you’re telling people in the book, what you want them to take away from it.
SPEAKER 04 :
More so, you know, when I gave my life to Jesus… There were so many things that I had to face simultaneously. First, leaving family of origin. And so as a Muslim, my identity was tied to my family. Not only my sense of security, but also my identity. And my misconceptions about God were so… I mean, I had a whole list of them. And so what I… including the book, is we have to get to know Yahweh. That is so important. And thankfully, in Jesus, we have access to God. And so one of the warnings I issue to an ex-Muslim, and honestly, this goes to even someone who was raised in Catholicism. I’ve found that even friends who are raised in Catholicism or friends who were raised in certain denominations where they viewed their pastor as closer to God or a priest as closer to God, I explained, hey, no, as believers, we didn’t receive the Holy Spirit Junior. No, we received the Spirit. We received the Holy Spirit. We have full access to God through Jesus. And so we get to know God get to understand that, yes, while he’s sovereign, he’s also merciful. And it’s through that relationship that we get to know who we are. Because as an ex-Muslim, I had to learn that I was made in the image of God. That’s That was not taught to me as a Muslim.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I want to make sure that people know how to reach you and how to find your book, The Ex-Muslim’s Guide to Christianity, Kenza Haddock, H-A-D-D-O-C-K, Kenza, with a K. Give us your website.
excellent kenza haddock.com the ex-muslims guide to christianity and i just want to say thank you so much for all you’re doing for others i just think that there’s so many people out there who are going to read your book or who already have who may feel that there is a different way for them and that they may be able to find the freedom and the peace that you have and obviously your faith is so important to you so i can’t thank you enough for being bold and being brave enough to write your book thank you so much kenza
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you, Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
You bet. I hope to have you back again.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 05 :
Colby, Kansas is listening to the mighty 670 KLT Denver.
SPEAKER 06 :
Hey there, Angie Austin here with the good news, along with two of my favorite good news gals, Michelle, Ron and Beatrice Bruno. Good morning to you, Beatrice. Good morning. God bless you this morning. You too. Well, I guess afternoon now and Michelle, good afternoon to you.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, thank you. It’s a great day to be here. That’s for sure.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. So every week we have a word of the week from our retired teacher, Michelle A. Ron dot com. What do you have for us this week, Michelle?
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, this is, it’s a slang. It’s slang, and I will explain it, but it is FOMO, and it is spelled F-O-M-O. Oh, we know it. Oh, I’m sure you do, because you’re a mom of a teenager. So, I just spent a week with our whole family. There were 10 of us. at the lake of the ozarks and we didn’t go out of the area um in other words we did no grocery shopping we did nothing we spent the entire week of swimming and boating and eating and cards and eating and sleeping and playing old game shows and eating again and i just i loved oh and i need to tell you the ages i had Three of my perfect grandchildren in college.
SPEAKER 06 :
Did you leave the other crummy one behind? The crummy one?
SPEAKER 05 :
No, no, no. They’re coming. They’re coming. My one perfect grandson in high school who will be a senior. And then my one youngest perfect grandchild will be in seventh grade. But I loved listening and conversing. with all of them. And it’s just amazing what one generation can learn from another. And so this language that I learned was brand new to me. But yes, dear Angie, I am sure that you are well aware of it. And the phrase or the word or the slang, whatever you call it, is FOMO. And it stands for fear of missing out. And one night, Um, my, my, uh, one granddaughter in who’s in college was on the couch and it was late. It was late. We’d had a busy day of being out in the sun and she was all wrapped up in a blanket and. And a couple of the other adults had gone to bed. And so I said, well, Mia, aren’t you? Are you tired, honey? Go on to bed. No, no, no, no. No, I don’t want to. I have FOMO, Grandma. You what? You what? And she said she didn’t want to miss out on anything. She had fear of. of missing out on something. So she gave me sentences to help put this all in text. And it says, I don’t want to have FOMO. So I’m going to go to the movies with my friends instead of taking a nap. I didn’t want to go to bed because I was having FOMO. So I stayed up later and hung out with everyone. And I just got the biggest hit out of that. And So I’ve tried to be aware of FOMO. And she said, and Grandma, there’s a lot of other ones. There’s, oh gosh, how is it? YOLO. You only live once. And so now what I’m suggesting to all of our listeners, that absolutely none of us want to have FOMO. in our relationship with our Jesus Christ. We have to make that choice, that decision, to accept Christ as our Savior, because literally there’s no gray area. It’s an either-or, and now is the time. And the fear is real if we miss out on Christ. The fear is going to help. Or am I going to be with Jesus and go to heaven? So FOMO is real. And I just want to throw that out there for people like me that didn’t know about the slang or whatever you call it. Okay.
SPEAKER 06 :
I have one question before I let Beatrice chime in here. Her fear of missing out wasn’t with her friends or contacting people back home. It was fear of missing out on the family gathering. Is that right?
SPEAKER 05 :
Correct. Right. Oh. Because the rest of us were all still up, and she didn’t want to miss out on anything.
SPEAKER 06 :
Oh, that makes me so happy that a college kid wanted to be with you, that she didn’t want to be in a room holed up with her phone talking to her friends, that she didn’t, she had a fear of missing out on the fun with grandma and her siblings and cousins and aunts.
SPEAKER 05 :
Right, right. Speaking of the phone, the phone was kind of off limits in a big way. And for Grandma, too, because Grandma is… I’m tied to that phone. So I’m honestly probably worse than the teenagers on that one. But it was a good time. It was a good time to be together. And again, you know, if we just listen to other generations, and they listen to us, I mean, it’s important… They need us, and we need them. Oh, my goodness. We need each other.
SPEAKER 06 :
And I’ll never forget, Beatrice, I think you were with us. We were in the studio maybe 10 years ago, and I think the show is going on like 12 years now. I just got an anniversary letter from Crawford Broadcasting.
SPEAKER 03 :
Wow.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, the owner. He always writes me every year, and it was very complimentary. Everybody says the show is great and local, and local radio is a rarity these days. A lot of it’s just… So it’s not local per se. I won’t call them out, like exactly call them out. But here’s what Michelle said, Beatrice, and then you feed into this. She said, my one regret if I could do something differently is I would have leaned, listened to Jesus more when I was younger, like when I was raising my kids. And I’ll never forget her saying that. And so that’s kind of what you’re talking about here, fear of missing out, that we don’t want to miss out that opportunity with Jesus. So your turn, Beatrice.
SPEAKER 07 :
Mm-hmm. You know, this was just really good. Mimi, I love that word that, wow, and that illustration you use with your family. And, you know, in the society that we’re in right now, we are so scared of missing out on stuff. You know, we forget all about the Lord and what he wants us to do. And that brings me to Romans 12 and two, where it says, and be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. And I always add at the end of that for you. You know, what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God for me? Because I don’t want to miss out on what God has for me. And oftentimes we get so caught up in the world and the things that’s going on in the world that we miss out on what’s really important. And, you know, I’m glad that your granddaughter, you know, Miss College Girl, I’m glad she grasped that and said, I don’t want to miss out on what the family is doing. You know, we should be at a place in our lives where we don’t want to miss out what God is doing. Yesterday morning when I was on my walk, I was almost done. I do about five miles a day, five days a week. And I was coming to the end of it. And I always pass by Wendy’s out there on Colfax. And when I passed by the sign they had out there, I saw this guy. He was laying on the ground and he was just getting up. And somebody else was laying on the ground next to him. And as I walked past, the Lord said, go into Wendy’s and buy them some food. And I said, and at first I was like, I don’t know about that, Lord. I’m kind of struggling myself, God. And then it just hit me. I said, let me go into Wendy’s. I got them a cup of coffee each and I got them a sausage biscuit each and some potatoes and got the, you know, the creamer and sugar and all that stuff, took it out there to them. And when I gave it to them, these it was a guy and a lady and they looked at me like, thank you so much. And I said, hey, and I gave it to him and they said it on the ground and the guy sat back down. He was going to eat. And I said, hey, let me pray for you guys. And I prayed for him. And I said, Father, please show them who they are. God. Show them what you have got them here on this earth for, Father. And Lord, raise them up like never before. And I put my hands on both their shoulders and stuff. And, you know, most people will say, oh, well, I’m not touching them because they’ve been living. You better get you better. You miss it out. You’re missing out on what God is telling you to do. And when I finished praying for them, the guy, he looked at my face and he was you could tell that he was so grateful. He said, thank you so much. OK, and I got up and I walked on back to the apartment, you know, but see my fear of missing out. OK, I was like, Lord, I don’t want to miss out on any of the moves that you have for me to be in this particular season in my life. And so I didn’t miss out on that because I was obedient to the call of God to go in and spend eleven dollars and some change for food for these people that’s down on their luck. They may be on drugs. I don’t care. That’s not my problem. That’s between them and God. But my thing is to do what God is saying to do. And see, God is looking for people right now that will have that FOMO in them and say, no, I don’t want to miss out on what God is doing right now. Lord, help me to be attuned and in alignment with what you’re doing. And that’s that’s what I love. That’s what your granddaughter was like. OK, I want to be aligned and in tune with my family because we’re having a good time and I don’t want to miss nothing. And that’s how we should be right now. So that’s my take on it, Angie. Hallelujah.
SPEAKER 06 :
I just, I still am just, it makes me so happy that a grandkid in college felt that way. That just really makes me happy. And I love it that the phones were limited. And we did just do a vacation where I would say it was like 10% a little bit stressful for me just because kids argue a lot when they’re all three teenagers. And we brought a friend and my daughter wanted to keep the friend to herself. You know, like, this is my friend and no one else can play checkers with her and no one else can be paddleboarding while we’re paddleboarding. I’m like, oh… I don’t know if I told you guys, I said, oh, that’s a great idea, Hope. You and your friend go out there and paddleboard and then I’ll get a TikTok video of your sister Faith crying on the shore watching you. Like, what? Right. Like, I’m going to make her stand on the shore and not go because you have a friend that you’re paddleboarding with.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 06 :
Anyway, we played so many games and had so much fun on the boat and things really did turn around after we established that other people could speak to the friend in the family. I’m like, we all like this friend. That’s why we invited her. Yeah. I’m like, we’re sharing the friend. And so, yeah, but it’s funny because if I bring one of you, like you guys are my friend, Jennifer Bishop or Beatrice. You’ve been around my kids quite a bit. Like if I brought one of you, Hope would glom on to you. And I told her once, I’m like, hey, this time I brought my friend, Jennifer. Like you stop trying to hog her because any friend, Hope’s going to claim the friend. You know, she’s going to be best friends with them. But I just love… The idea of getting together with family and really setting boundaries so that they say they have FOMO and they don’t want to miss out on all the fun with the family. And I think a lot of us need to take a real hard look at our relationship with the Lord. And are we? Are we missing out? And we should have the fear of missing out, as Michelle mentioned, and not get so busy in our lives that we neglect that relationship. And then, you know, like you said, Michelle, and you’re one that totally leans on the Lord, you and Beatrice both. When you said that, that I just wish I would have listened to the Lord more. It did really strike me. And then I even thought, well, how? How do you do it? And we’ve talked about that before and we can again about your different rituals when it comes to your prayer time. And I have to write things down or I feel like I hear nothing per se. But I just appreciate both of you. Beatrice, you’re speaking, you’re writing. You would love to do more speaking events. So how do people reach you?
SPEAKER 07 :
Beatrice at Drill Sergeant of Life dot com.
SPEAKER 06 :
Anything cool coming up or anything you want to tell us about?
SPEAKER 07 :
I’m going to be speaking at the Optimist National Convention on August the 19th in Fort Morgan.
SPEAKER 06 :
I’m excited about that.
SPEAKER 07 :
Yeah, I’m excited about that. And, you know, the Optimist Club, that’s a really good organization because they’re all about the youth. OK, and they are giving back to these youth. And I just I love what they’re doing with the youth.
SPEAKER 06 :
I love it, too. All right. How about you, Michelle?
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, Michelle A. Ron dot com and nothing coming up. But, you know, God’s in charge, and I’d love to be with anybody that would allow me the privilege. Thanks. Amen. All right.
SPEAKER 06 :
God bless you both, and thanks for joining us on The Good News.
SPEAKER 07 :
God bless you all. Love you all. Bye-bye.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
