In this episode, we dive into some of the most absurd and intriguing headlines from across the nation, starting with the infamous Florida Man. Discover stories that sound almost too wild to be real, as we unravel incidents involving canes, thermoses, and more. We also delve into the controversies surrounding Zach Bryan and his compelling yet contentious song lyrics, sparking debate on social media.
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SPEAKER 08 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 04 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 03 :
So we’re now at that point in the show where I come across a Florida man headline, and I’m like, oh, what? Before I do that one, let me just put this right here for you, Cain. Let me just set that right here. This came from our Florida woman, Amber, who finds the weirdest stuff to send. God love her. Oh. You just, yeah, yeah. A Florida man accused of using a cane to beat another driver in a road rage incident. Good man. His cane. So he’s an elderly individual, you know. Florida man accused of beating another driver with his cane. 69-year-old. He got mad because the driver cut him off, so he armed himself with a cane and decided to go to beat downtown. With his cane. I mean, you don’t even need anything else at this point. According to the charging affidavit, Thomas Wolfe is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon because the cane can be used as a deadly weapon. But he said the other driver cut him off. So why would you get out? Just stop getting out of your car and doing stuff. Stop fighting other people. I mean, yes, no one else can drive but you. I get it. I feel that way every time I get behind my steering wheel. I’m like, oh, my gosh, nobody can drive in Texas. Oh, my gosh. I get it. But that doesn’t mean that you should get out and beat someone with your cane. You’re going to get charged. Also, you could end up like this guy. There’s just literally no way to do this.
SPEAKER 04 :
Wait, you’re choosing this one?
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, I am, because it’s ridiculous. Over all the other ones that are in there, you’re choosing this one. No, I know, but this one is insane, and I feel like… That’s true. So here’s the thing. I feel like when people from Florida send me these stories, if I don’t read them, then they send me worse ones. They just keep amping it up. So just let me… A Florida man with a thermos inserted in his body was caught sneaking it into Polk County Jail. This is from Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd. Man tried to smuggle a thermos into the jail in his prison wallet. Walter Frymere. That man is 51. A deputy they judge said a deputy likely saved his life and arrested him. And when he arrested him because he had to take him to the hospital where a specialist had to remove the thermos. He said that the ordeal began with a complaint about a man naked at the park. And the guy said, well, I’m not naked. You know, I got socks on. Well, no, that’s that’s not. Sir, that’s not true. But they what he said was the sheriff in his office. When talking to the press about it, he said, yeah, he put it up the exit ramp. You know what I mean? And then gave a knowing look. That’s how reporters described it. Oh, my gosh. I don’t I don’t have any words. OK, there you go. Don’t send me any bad ones, guys. Don’t send me any horrible ones, because then we just it’s a horrible thing. Let’s see. A Florida man strapped a deputy stolen ATV to his car roof. That’s impressive, actually. Yeah, that’s like, you know what, that’s some hillbilly expertise right there. As we move, our partners that will bring you the program, it’s Kel-Tec, the KS7 Gen 2 shotgun. With Kel-Tec, this is one of the many shotguns that they have over at Kel-Tec, and the KS7 is built for… Compact spaces and maneuverability. It’s a good idea for home defense or outback or anywhere in between. And the design with the KS7, there’s some upgrades. You have five slot Picatinny style accessory rails. You can add grips, lights, whatever, keep it flush. It’s a smoother pump action for faster, cleaner cycling. Ultra lightweight at just under seven pounds unloaded. Compact bullpup design, seven plus one capacity. And you can get the Defender package, and there’s a bunch of stuff that comes with that, including a Vortex. You’ve got extended butt pad, all kinds of stuff. MSRP is only $639, so it’s completely affordable and accessible. It’s from Kel-Tec, K-E-L-T-E-C, weapons.com, made in Florida. Kel-Tec weapons.com. It’s the KS7 Gen 2. Tell them Dana sent you.
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Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That’s why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24-7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow-ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you’ll get more time with your pets and year-round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.
SPEAKER 09 :
More young lefties are embracing communism and actually believe it’s never really been tried. Joy Reid exposes the right’s dastardly secret that it wants less taxes and regulation. And a few weeks after insisting he will never drop out, New York City Mayor Eric Adams drops out. I’m Greg Karumbas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the top news, some good laughs, and we’ll be done in less than 30 minutes. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 03 :
Democrats are trying to really drive that drive that point. And that gets into the whole Zach Bryan stuff and all of that. That guy is just a sentient turd. He’s really trying to backpedal with a lot of this stuff. So if you were unaware, he decided to make a video. Well, he wrote a song rather. He wrote a song and he was slamming. uh, immigrations and custom enforcement in his song. It’s a very anti ice song. Zach, I don’t know. I can’t tell you what does Zach Bryan sing? I don’t like pop country because it’s soulless. So I don’t listen to it. I like good music and I’ll listen to any type of music, but, um, it has to be good. So Kane, do you know what songs Zach Bryan sings?
SPEAKER 04 :
I don’t.
SPEAKER 03 :
Hank wouldn’t have done it that way.
SPEAKER 04 :
No, you’re right about that.
SPEAKER 03 :
He wouldn’t have done it that way.
SPEAKER 04 :
He’s also trying to backpedal a little bit from the original stuff.
SPEAKER 03 :
Steve, do you know anything that Zach Bryan has sung?
SPEAKER 08 :
Yeah, he’s more folky than country, I guess. He’s sort of like a singer, guitar, songwriter thing.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, my gosh. He’s like a Joni Mitchell, but with balls. Oh, gross. Or that’s questionable. Ew. I just, I don’t like his face. Anyway, so he came out with, he pulled a Dixie Chicks. Wait, they’re not even called that anymore, are they? Are they called Dixie Chicks? Oh, that’s right. They’re just called, oh, I can’t say it. The Chicks, I think, right? So, Zach Bryan, he decides to Dixie Chick Bud Light his career with the song that he has. Now, yes, he did do the song Try That in a Small Town. Okay, so I just read that. I don’t know. That’s whatever. So, oh, wait, that was Jason Aldean that did that, right? I don’t even know. I don’t even know pop country. But the thing is, is that this guy decided he didn’t just write a song where he was being critical of ice or something. He wrote this whole thing where he’s like, the red, white and blue is fading and ice is going to come and bust down your door and all this stuff. And the lyrics, I mean, let me just here’s the lyrics from this Shakespearean lyricist came, quote, I heard the cops came. Cocky mother blankers, ain’t they? Ice gonna bust down your door. Try to build a house, no one builds no more. But I got a telephone, croons Zach Bryan. Kids are all scared and all alone. Hmm. These are really bad. I just got shaken baby syndrome from reading that. Hmm. Gives me mental scoliosis, Cain. It’s horrible.
SPEAKER 04 :
I did reach out to his camp this morning.
SPEAKER 03 :
They’re never going to come on the show.
SPEAKER 04 :
I referenced this Yahoo article that came out a couple hours ago. And now he’s saying he’s wanting to clarify the misconstrued lyrics in that song. So we wanted to give them an opportunity to do it.
SPEAKER 03 :
And let me guess, they just jumped at the chance, didn’t they?
SPEAKER 04 :
I haven’t heard back yet.
SPEAKER 03 :
So now he’s like all upset because he’s got a lot of backlash to his song. Who could have seen that coming? I mean, when you troll and you’re surprised that there’s a response to the trolling, I don’t understand some of these people. So the… I’m not going to play it, but… I don’t know what he’s saying. The fading of the red, white and blue. And someone said he’s backpedaling faster than a Russian circus bear. And I feel like that that’s a great description. So he put something up on his Instagram story where he said he’s so tough. He’s like, please blink and read this. And it’s a song about how much I love this country and everybody in it. And so he’s like, I’m not going to read this whole thing. It’s just so long. He goes, I wrote this song months ago. I posted this song three months ago as a snippet. This shows you how divisive a narrative can be when shoved down our throats through social media. This song is about how much, Cain, I love this country and everyone in it and everything. And when you hear, Cain, the rest of the song, you will understand the full context that hits on both sides of the aisle. Everyone now is using this as a weapon, proving how devastatingly divided we are. Well, hold up. Hold up, Slick. Hold up, Slick. We’re literally quoting your words. There’s no spinning of it. There’s no trying to link and log up a narrative. We’re just quoting your words, slick. You had the balls to put it in a song and now you’re going to go cower. Well, that’s not what I meant. What did you mean by calling ice mother blinkers? Like, how else can that be interpreted? I’m waiting. Oh, great Shakespeare of our time. Please, please reveal to the great unwashed masses the genius behind your lyricism, because clearly we’re too stupid to get it. Please, oh, great Zach Bryan, please explain this to us. And then he’s like, he goes, well, I serve this country. I don’t care. That’s great that you did. I don’t know anything about him. That doesn’t give you a pass to be a jackass. End of. And then he goes, I wasn’t speaking as a politician. I don’t care. You said what you said, dude. You could sit here and write however many graphs and dance all you want to. Oh, and then now he’s the victim. Here’s this graph. Quote, the last few months of my life, I have been scrutinized by more people than I ever thought possible. Write a song about it. I feel like I’ve tried my hardest in so many ways, he writes. Oh, my gosh. And then he’s like, I’ve been, oh, this is so cheesy, been falling off a cliff while trying to grow wangs at the same time. Oh, poor Zach Bryan.
SPEAKER 04 :
From southern Georgia? Where’s he from?
SPEAKER 03 :
He’s from all over. Is he? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so he, nobody believed that. Nobody believes that. Nobody believes that. I mean, yeah. And he’s apparently not a nice dude. All these people are coming out with stories. But just to stick to this. He wrote this. He wrote this song. He wrote the lyrics. Then he added music to it. Then he recorded it. Then he made a video of him performing it. And then he posted it online. And he’s like, now he goes, oh, no, no, that’s not what I said. Please, dear sweet summer child, what did you mean? Ice going to bust down your door? Cocky mother blinkers. The fading of the red, white, and blue. Caned. Shall we deep dive grad level style on this? I mean, what else is there to be assumed? Oh, my gosh. He’s just a coward. He’s a chicken. That’s what he is. Thank you. Welcome. That’s a good chicken, by the way. Long John Silver’s what? So he’s he’s it’s his apology was one of those. I’m sorry you’re offended. You just wrote it’s the problem is, is that he wrote this. And I don’t care if somebody wants to have ignorant, uneducated views, but have the balls to back them when you get called out on it. Right. I guess it’s like him saying, no, the the the earth, the sun revolves around the earth. And then when people go, wait a minute, dude, that’s not even correct. I didn’t say that. Oh my gosh, I’m the victim. I’m falling off a cliff and I ain’t time to grow wings. I mean, that’s his response right now. Just go, yeah, I said it. What? That’s all you got to do. What’s good? He’s such a, just a coward, just an absolute coward. And oh, don’t forget, didn’t he pull this up? He also went after people for insulting the transgenders, Kane. He was all upset. He didn’t like people insulting them transgenders. And he like went and then the same thing happened. He says something ignorant and then he tries to walk it back because as soon as the fire gets a little hot, he just, oh, he can’t handle it. So I don’t care if people have, they wouldn’t, I’m never going to listen to his music. So it’s never going to personally offend me because I just don’t, I don’t like to, you know, if I’m going to hurt my brain cells, I’m going to do it with liquor. I’m not going to do it with crappy pop country. You know what I’m saying? So he’s, I mean, he’s, he’s just got a history of being a jack wagon. And I mean, I just think he’s a coward. And I don’t know. I’m just not. I’m not a fan. I’m not a fan. Lorraine said he did a cover of Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car. And oh, my gosh, he got lots of praise because he didn’t change the lyrics about that said, check out girl. We’re talking about the singer. Oh, my gosh. So stupid. That’s such the bar is so low, man. It’s so low. All Family Pharmacy is a family-owned business dedicated to helping you get the medications that you need when you need them the most. With over 200 essential medications, including antibiotics, antivirals, ivermectin, emergency kits, and so much more, they have you covered for everything from daily prescriptions to even biohacking support. Right now, they’ve lowered prices on ivermectin and minbendazole by up to 25%, starting at just $2 a capsule. Plus, save an extra 10% using code GENERAL. Dana10. Each order includes a doctor’s prescription, so there’s no hassle or middleman. And as flu season approaches, now’s the time to stock your medicine cabinet with essentials like Tamiflu, antibiotics, and vitamins to help keep you and your family healthy. And beyond basics, All Family Pharmacy offers biohacking products like NAD+, Methylene Blue, all kinds of stuff to boost energy, focus, immunity, the whole nine yards. Visit allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana and use code Dana10 to save 10% today. Don’t wait, be ready for flu season with All Family Pharmacy. That’s allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana and use code Dana10.
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SPEAKER 04 :
And now all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 03 :
I don’t believe this story. So it’s a story that says America has become one of the world’s least welcoming countries for tourists. And it’s the end. Sorry, it’s the telegraph, which is a left leaning sewer. Yeah. And they said it’s Donald Trump’s anti-tourism measures. Well, what do you mean anti-tourism measures? Because illegal immigration isn’t the same thing as tourism. Do we really have to have a discussion over this? Oh, my gosh. Let’s see here. Apparently, your brains have evolved to socialize, but they max out at 150 friends. Mine max out over anything that I can count on. Everybody has like circles, layers of circles, right? You have like one, your main circle and then outside and then outside and outside. And I think that’s fine and important to have. But they said that the size of your social networks is limited even in the age of social media and that brains absolutely max out at 150. That makes sense, right? I think that makes sense. Let’s see here. Oh, Tropical Storm Jerry could form. And it could hit the Leeward Islands late this week. Why Jerry? Like, what a name, Jerry. Jerry, I don’t know why I find that so funny. So be careful. A man was arrested for trying to pull over cars with flashing blue lights. Pierce County deputies pulled this. They got this guy. This was in Washington. They arrested a man for impersonation of a police officer. He was driving around using the blue lights. And the deputy saw him. They got in trouble once. And he was warned he could be arrested for impersonation. And then hours later, the same deputy saw this guy. You know, the same driver using the blue lights. And he was immediately arrested. So, he got warned. He got warned. You know, you can’t say he wasn’t warned. Let’s see. The Rainbow Crosswalk in Miami was torn off by the Florida Department of Transportation. Is this the crosswalk where they got… They tried to go after the kids riding the scooters because they said that the kids had…
SPEAKER 04 :
No, I think this is a different crosswalk. This one was actually built with bricks, colored bricks.
SPEAKER 03 :
Okay, okay.
SPEAKER 04 :
And they’re tearing that up.
SPEAKER 03 :
So the Florida Department, DOT, they decided they were demolishing and repainting a rainbow crosswalk. The state said they’re going to stop making crosswalks into political statements. It’s supposed to be about pedestrian safety. And State Senator Carlos Smith bravely fought back. He tried to grab some sidewalk chalk and fill the colors back in. Yeah, I mean, it legit is about supposed to be about safety. Now, remember that you you you can burn an American flag, but they arrest it with Spokane, Washington. The they had electric scooters and they left skid marks on a pride mural and they they were arrested in Spokane, Washington. You could burn a flag, but you can’t drive a scooter over a pride mural. It’s just asinine. Absolutely asinine. So I’m and it’s actually a very it was very ugly. I saw the bricks. It was a very ugly crosswalk. And if it doesn’t look like a crosswalk, then wouldn’t that be confusing for people who don’t know if they can cross there or not? I mean, it just seems like a fair question to ask. We’ve got a lot more on the way. Stick with us. This is a wild video.
SPEAKER 02 :
So, and the question is, what do you say to the 40% of voters who voted for Trump? Oh, I’m happy to say that. It’s the do you need them to win part that I don’t understand. I’m happy to answer the question as you have it written and I’ll answer it.
SPEAKER 05 :
And we’ve also asked the other candidates, do you think you need any of those 40% of California voters to win? And you’re saying no, you don’t.
SPEAKER 02 :
No, I’m saying I’m going to try to win every vote I can. And what I’m saying to you is that… Well, to those voters. Okay, so you… I don’t want to keep doing this. I’m going to call it. Thank you. You’re not going to do the interview with us? Nope, not like this, I’m not. Not with seven follow-ups to every single question you ask.
SPEAKER 05 :
Every other candidate has answered our follow-ups.
SPEAKER 02 :
I don’t care. I don’t care. I want to have a pleasant, positive conversation, which you ask me about every issue on this list. And if every question, you’re going to make up a follow-up question, then we’re never going to get there. And we’re just going to circle around. I am an investigative reporter. I have never had to do this before, ever.
SPEAKER 05 :
You’ve never had to have a conversation with a reporter?
SPEAKER 02 :
To end an interview. Okay, but every other candidate has done this. What part of, I’m me, I’m running for governor because I’m a leader, so I am going to make… So you’re not going to answer questions from reporters?
SPEAKER 05 :
Okay, why don’t we go through, I will continue to ask follow-up questions because that’s my job as a journalist, but I will go through and ask these, and if you don’t want to answer, you don’t want to answer.
SPEAKER 02 :
So nearly every legislative… I don’t want to have an unhappy experience with you. And I don’t want this all on camera.
SPEAKER 05 :
I don’t want to have an unhappy experience with you either. I would love to continue to ask these questions so that we can show our viewers what every candidate feels about every one of these issues that they care about. And redistricting is a massive issue.
SPEAKER 03 :
We’re going to do an entire story just… It looks kind of bad. It looks bad. Now she’s, if you know, she’s running for governor in California. This Katie Porter lady. And that’s who that’s who’s in this video is Katie Porter talking to this reporter who is just trying to get her to answer a question. And Katie Porter has no interest in answering this question. She has no interest in talking about it. And I think it was a pretty legitimate question. It wasn’t like a gotcha. You know, it wasn’t like a gotcha kind of thing. It was a very legitimate question, I thought, that she asked. But apparently, Katie Porter doesn’t think so. She tried storming out of this CBS interview. And the… She said, I don’t want all of this on camera. Well, you should have probably thought that before. Did you know? Now, hold up. I’m going to pull this story up. I don’t know if you guys heard this story before. So this is a New York Post piece. Because it kind of shows that she sort of has a hot temper. She apparently was very abusive towards her husband, her ex-husband. She would throw things at him all the time. She poured scalding hot mashed potatoes on his head during a fight. She was routinely, he wrote, and this was, he filed for divorce from her. This was in 2013. He got a, he requested a restraining order. She apparently was so nuts. He requested a restraining order and she wouldn’t allow him to have a cell phone. She would claw her arm. She does seem nuts. I gotta be honest with you. She seems like she is just crazy, right? You know, you know the type. She seems nuts. She apparently was taking issues with how he was making mashed potatoes for dinner at one point. And she screamed at him, can’t you read the blanking instructions? And then she raised a, quote, ceramic bowl of hot potatoes and dumped it on my head, burning my scalp. They went to court. I mean, he… If you have a restraining order on you, you’re like a temporary prohibited possessor. So that’s very interesting. She, though, in her first congressional campaign, she portrayed herself as a victim of domestic violence. I think she’s talking about her husband, not her, maybe. Wow. So she seems like… You know, I just only in California can you abuse your husband and pour hot food on his head, scalding his scalp and still be like in the running to be governor. Well, maybe in New York, too. She seems to have anger issues. She acted like a psycho. She she told the interviewer she didn’t need Trump voters. And then when the reporter asked her, OK, well, what do you mean you don’t need? She then started contradicting herself. I was reading the transcript just in case, you know, I thought I heard something incorrect. And the reporter was was saying, what do you say to the 40 percent of voters who supported Trump? And she was like, oh, well, I don’t need them to win. And then she’s asked, well, you said that you don’t need them to win. And she was like, no, I’m saying that I’m going to try to win every vote. That’s what I’m saying to you. And the reporter’s like, you know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of, Cain, that interview where that girl was interviewing that musician, Sookie. And she was like, what do you mean? I’m a musician. Like, she thought she was saying a magician. Oh, my gosh. Girl, I don’t think that’s ghetto. I don’t think.
SPEAKER 04 :
Like a new magic or something?
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, my gosh. I can’t even… So she just seemed completely. She seemed to completely came. How do you say nuts? Yeah. Yeah. That’s how you say it. She’s in the running. She’s like like in the lead to be the next governor. She’s the leading Democrat to replace Gavin Newsom as governor of California. That’s all they got. They don’t have anybody else out there. All the nuts. And that’s the one they pick.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. Lateral move there.
SPEAKER 03 :
I mean, is it lateral? Well, yeah, I mean, they’re all bad. I don’t want to sit here and try to, like, weigh it down. She’s just, she’s bad. Lorraine notes that she fired a staffer who she said gave her COVID. Oh, my gosh. Is that bad as cut 11th? Oh, is it as bad as Cut 11? Probably not. Let’s go ahead. Yeah, play Cut 11. So this is a flashback video of Katie Porter. Same woman. Listen.
SPEAKER 02 :
This allegation of groomer and pedophile, it is alleging that a person is criminal somehow and engaged in criminal acts merely because of their identity, their sexual orientation, their gender identity. So pedophilia is just an identity?
SPEAKER 03 :
So wanting to prey upon children as a sex pervert, an adult sex pervert, that’s just an identity. I thought that was a criminal action. Wow. Wow. So she hates kids. Clearly. Wow. That’s who’s the lead Democrat for governor in California. What are you doing, California? What do you do in New York? Oh, my gosh. This is crazy. And she apparently, like all of the staffers that worked for her, hate her. Yeah, one of them, she went off on a staffer because she says the staffer gave her COVID. And she had them fired. And she was just apparently horrible to everyone. And then if you criticize her, you’re a sexist or a bigot somehow. I don’t even understand how that works because she’s like a heavyset white woman. So I don’t get that. But… Yeah, that’s, that’s, how do we say, nuts? That’s nuts. Ken, that’s nuts.
SPEAKER 04 :
It is.
SPEAKER 03 :
So, yeah. Hmm. Really wild. That’s the lead Democrat in California. So, yeah, great for them. She just she has a short temper. Her and Jay Jones would be a pair, would it not? So you have her defending pedophilia and attacking her ex-husband and Jay Jones starting to shoot everyone and kill their kids. What a pair. But this is you see what I’m saying? This is this is where the left is going. This is how they are now. It’s. But this is how they are. This is their new identity, for the lack of a better way to put it. This party.
SPEAKER 08 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
