In this episode of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, we journey into the wild world of Florida Man stories that defy logic and leave you questioning reality. From silly string attacks to aerial contraband delivery via drones, the tales are as bizarre as they are entertaining. Tune in for a riotous exploration of these peculiar happenings that are as puzzling as they are amusing.
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How’s your breath today?
SPEAKER 04 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 14 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 02 :
I wanted to come back to this because we ran out of time for this one yesterday because it was such a weird story. It was the silly string one where it was a. Florida escort who was arrested because she attacked a dude with silly string. Well, the other article that I found said, cause I’m like, if this guy literally filed like a battery charge because of silly string, then he deserves to get attacked. I just felt like that was stupid, but he had a forehead laceration. So I think it was just more than the silly string itself. It sounded like she also hit him with the can. So yeah, Yeah, the lady, the female was arrested for battery, changed that up and spent the night in jail. She bonded out for a thousand dollars. But yeah, they that that’s what ended up happening with that. So I wanted to, you know, wanted to run that down. A Florida man attempted a cell phone drop via drone to a Sandstone prison inmate. OK, guys, mayor, it’s Mayor Kingstown. Not everything that you see on television is going to, you know, like they have drones that drop phones and drugs in the jail. You can’t do that. That’s TV, y’all. It’s not going to work. But this Florida man. Jose Moncada, he’s 39 years old, was charged with introducing contraband into jail. And apparently, according to Pine County Sheriff’s Office, the deputies responded to a drone that was flying over the institute, the prison. And they said there was an object attached underneath it. They all saw it. So it wasn’t like it was, you know, it wasn’t being… it wasn’t hiding itself right it was very obvious and they watched this thing coming from a mile away bringing this phone and uh they all saw it they were recording it they had it all in the crosshairs they saw everything and then they a deputy later on initiated a traffic stop on a vehicle that was believed to have been involved with it and uh they found a black backpack in the trunk and etc etc and they arrested the guy because he had all the stuff to for the drone so uh they uh And they found the drone controller, cell phones, bubble wrap, all that stuff, and a pay stub. Like, he kept his pay stub for doing this. So he was taken into custody, obviously. Goodness. A Florida man illegally killed 13 American alligators, say wildlife officials. Brevard County, he’s facing charges after wildlife officials say he illegally killed 13 American alligators. An arrest warrant for 21-year-old Jacob Latrelle of Edgewater says it happened over the course of several days in the St. Johns River. near a boat ramp, they said that an illegal killing, possessing or capturing of an American alligator is a third degree felony, which answers my question of I keep seeing these alligators and clothes and like little T-shirts being carried around by people in Florida. Can I do that? No, the answer is no. That’s a third degree felony, as I just found out. So a South Florida man. Oh, oh, he chose violence today. He torched the clubhouse of the Enforcer’s Motorcycle Club. Oh, boy. This guy’s 47. Did you see his mugshot?
SPEAKER 14 :
I did.
SPEAKER 02 :
Dude, 47-year-old man. I think he probably wants to be in prison at this point, does he? Maybe not on the streets so much. Yeah, this is some death wish stuff. So he set fire. They’re saying he’s facing charges in connection with arson at the clubhouse for the Enforcers Motorcycle Club in Palm Beach County. They said that he faces one kind of second degree arson, burglary, property mischief, etc. No motive has been disclosed. But I would imagine that he probably is like, yes, please take me to jail. I’ll burn something else down if you try to let me go. Yeah, I mean, it’s literally, like, try to think of the meanest name for your biker club. The Enforcers pretty much is it. Like, you couldn’t pick the Kittens and Sunshine Motorcycle Club, their clubhouse to burn down. You pick the Enforcers. If you’re looking to create a stable financial future, consider Noble Gold Investments. Gold and silver are tangible assets, not just numbers on the screen, with thousands of years of trust behind them. Gold IRAs let you hold real assets in tax-deferred or tax-free retirement accounts. Noble Gold is the number one ranked gold IRA company for four years running, handling over $2.5 billion in precious metal transactions. And here’s what’s to like about Noble Gold. Their U.S.-based team is available six days a week, providing personalized and consistent service. Pricing is clear with no hidden fees or fine print. Whether you’re setting up a gold IRA or making a direct purchase, they make it simple. You even get a photo of your actual metals. Hundreds of thousands of happy customers come back and refer others because of Noble Gold’s helpful, informed, and straightforward approach. Open a new IRA or cash account now and receive a free 10-ounce silver flag bar plus a silver American Eagle Proof coin. Visit noblegoldinvestments.com slash Dana. That’s noblegoldinvestments.com slash Dana.
SPEAKER 12 :
New York City voters elect an avowed socialist mayor and really vote themselves four or more years of misery. Two-thirds of college students are positive or neutral towards socialism. Their professors must be so proud. And an unhinged local politician in Montana wishes cancer and death on a GOP senator over a vote. These people are not well. I’m Greg Karambas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the 3 Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the top news, some good laughs, and we’ll be done in less than 30 minutes. Follow the 3 Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 11 :
If you like true crime, you’ll love the Miracle Files podcast.
SPEAKER 10 :
We share real stories with the suspense of true crime, but we’ll leave you with a sense of light and hope.
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Like the college wrestler who fought a grizzly, the woman who was dead for nearly an hour, or the child lost in a dark mine for days. These are the kind of stories that remind us miracles are real.
SPEAKER 10 :
Subscribe to the Miracle Files wherever you get your podcasts and join us on this thrilling journey of faith and miracles.
SPEAKER 09 :
It’s here, the first humanoid robot housekeeper. Thank you, Neo. For $20,000, you can pre-order 1X’s Neo robot now, with delivery in 2026. I think you missed a tiny spot over here. Just one little catch. There may be a human behind the curtain, pulling the robot strings. If I throw up, will the robot throw up? A company representative may need to peer into your house via Neo’s camera eyes to get things done. To many people, this is crazy. You have to be okay with this for the product to be useful. We’re twinning now, Neo. One X is taking on home robotics’ biggest challenges, creating a safe body and a smart brain. Its fabric-covered body lets Neo try to do a lot of things humans do around the house. Emphasis on try. You got this, Neo. You got it. My challenge? Load three items in the dishwasher.
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, my gosh. What is it doing?
SPEAKER 09 :
And that took five minutes.
SPEAKER 02 :
Okay. I don’t want a robot housekeeper. That’s not a robot housekeeper. That’s someone playing a video game called chores. That’s what that is. That’s not a robot housekeeper. So wait, you’re telling me that there’s going to be an entire workforce of people if they do this, the only way this would work. And you’re just listening to a Wall Street Journal. Try the first humanoid robot house made. You have to have somebody spy on your house 24 seven and do chores using your robot.
SPEAKER 03 :
The cost of convenience.
SPEAKER 02 :
So you have to have surveillance. A company’s going to surveil you. And then you’re going to have someone who is playing a… They got the glasses on. And they’re the robot. It’s not a robot. It’s not smart. Someone’s in it.
SPEAKER 03 :
What?
SPEAKER 02 :
They have to be in a different area doing what the robot does. So you’re telling me you’re going to have entire… If this was how they go, just imagine, say this company, this takes off. You’re going to have a horde of people in a building somewhere, all with the headsets, the VR headsets, spying on your house and doing robot stuff. They’re just going to be in the middle of a room doing absolutely nothing.
SPEAKER 03 :
Wait, like drone flyers?
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, and doing chores.
SPEAKER 03 :
So that makes this next video of this robot making pizza dough really weird.
SPEAKER 02 :
Okay. Yeah, I don’t. This is scary. This literally looks like something out of Terminator. Go ahead. Hit me with this one. Go ahead.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh. Oh, is that just a screenshot?
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, just a photo. Oh. I don’t think that’s real. That looks dangerous. I mean, I can’t even tell that’s dough. That might be a cat it’s beating to death on the table. I don’t know. That is not a cat. I don’t know. I can’t see.
SPEAKER 03 :
That is not a cat.
SPEAKER 02 :
I don’t know. It doesn’t seem legit, though. Would you have, for the purpose of convenience, Cain, in your house, somebody wearing the VR headset doing chores? Oh, my gosh. What is that?
SPEAKER 1 :
No, wait.
SPEAKER 02 :
That’s a robot.
SPEAKER 03 :
Now, is there someone? Juan, you’ve got to put that on the screen. You’re not even putting it on the screen.
SPEAKER 02 :
is that somebody i can’t tell if it’s dry humping the cabinet or doing i don’t know what it’s doing what is that is that someone in a building miles away doing this that looks like it’s probably of its own accord autonomous that is insane what the dough is not even getting kneaded the cabinet’s getting banged all the hell like what is happening i don’t want any of that in my house No. For the purpose of convenience, would you have a guy, VR headset, in a building somewhere, surveilling your house, and then very slowly, poorly doing chores?
SPEAKER 03 :
No. I certainly wouldn’t. It’s the same reason I don’t have one of those robot vacuums.
SPEAKER 02 :
I’m on the fence about that.
SPEAKER 03 :
I know.
SPEAKER 02 :
I don’t know what to think about myself right now. I feel like I’m failing myself. Steve, would you, for the purpose of convenience, have someone surveil your house and then wear a VR headset and do chores very slowly, poorly?
SPEAKER 03 :
You’re answering the question while you’re asking.
SPEAKER 05 :
You realize those things have to collect all the data that it learns, right? It doesn’t just get rid of it. It has to learn on the fly. So where are they storing all that data? I don’t need them to know everything about me.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, in order for them to fold your britches, they do.
SPEAKER 05 :
I’ll sacrifice folding my own britches then.
SPEAKER 02 :
I just I don’t want anything that badly for convenience. You know what I mean? I don’t. I think we humans think that convenience is a thing that we have to attain. And sometimes it’s a curse. Right.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah. Some people in our age group, like back in the day when your car only had the crank up windows and not the electric windows, then we get all these electric things, electric seats, electric, all of that. And then more things go wrong. If one wire breaks, now we don’t have access to roll our window up or scoot our chair up. It’s not great.
SPEAKER 02 :
I will say my very first car that I had was a, I don’t even know what year it was. I’m just surprised it wasn’t pulled by a horse. It was a Buick Skyhawk.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, Skyhawk. Yeah.
SPEAKER 02 :
And whenever I turned left, it went, ooh. And I told you that story. I was listening to Sympathy for the Devil one day, and I heard an extra ooh in there, and it was my car. Anyway, the horn very weakly honked at people everywhere. But the… All of my friends… I was very lucky to have this car. I’m not complaining at all. I was very, very lucky to have it. It had probably 11,000 million miles on it. It broke down all the time.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, we grew up in an era where more convenience actually meant more things could go wrong.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yes, but I will say… I had the roll-down window, and I felt like a poor… I felt like Laurie Ingalls on the prairie with Pa and Ma having to roll down my window. Oh, my gosh. If I don’t have Wi-Fi for like five seconds, I’m like, oh, my gosh. Time to go in the prepper pantry. We’re all going to die. I mean, immediately. I really felt… That to me felt like camping, having to roll down the window.
SPEAKER 03 :
Have you ever put duct tape on your window just so you could pull the window up manually? Yeah, I’ve done that.
SPEAKER 02 :
Although one time my lock stopped working and I couldn’t get out of my car one time. And I didn’t have a mobile phone. This was like 1998. I just had to sit in my driveway and my car locked in it until one of my parents, my mom or my stepdad came out and was like, you’re missing. I literally couldn’t get out. Nothing worked. And that was after the thing on my window fell off and I couldn’t even do that. So helpless. So my point being, okay, kind of, I’m, I’m interested in having a robot vacuum. But at the same time, you’re basically inviting What is the technological version of a facehugger in your house? And, you know, letting it run all over your… I just don’t, you know, I don’t like that. I don’t want something up when I’m sleeping.
SPEAKER 03 :
I didn’t know that there was a person in some building somewhere controlling that robot. I thought this robot was just autonomous.
SPEAKER 02 :
You thought that was… I thought that was like… Then they had the guy… Like, do they have to be in the room with you? I’m not impressed. Like, you don’t just buy the robot. You get this indentured servant with it. Like, this person… I didn’t know that was… So wait a minute. Why don’t you just have like a regular person? You’re going to get a robot to do the job. And then there’s a person standing behind a curtain doing the job. Instead of taking five minutes to load three things in the dishwasher. Man, the person could put down the damn VR headset. Just go do it with their hands. I mean… This is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen in my life. People are going to get it. You know that. I don’t like that it’s a soft body too with like a fabric covering. That’s nasty. That was the first thing I noticed. More so than the person behind the curtain. I was like, that’s dirty. That’s going to collect germs and be stained. And then you’re going to – like somebody you’ll have company over and they’re going to be like, look at your hobo robot. And your hobo bot is going to be all dirty and messy because it has a canvas body. Anyway, that’s not – it’s not – It’s not helpful. That’s not helpful. Just do it your damn self at that point.
SPEAKER 03 :
I’ve seen the movie iRobot. I’m not interested.
SPEAKER 02 :
You know, people are going to use it for murder. They’re going to hide and use that robot to go and murder people. I’m telling you, it’s going to be iRobot. And then it’ll end up as 28 Days Later. That’s what’s going to happen. I promise you that’s where we’re going for all of this. And as we do so, the folks who will bring you the program… It’s our friends at Kel-Tec, the KS7 Gen 2 shotgun. It is a smooth pump action shotgun, and they’ve done some upgrades to it. The Gen 2 has five-slot Picatinny-style accessory rail underneath, so you can add vertical grips, lights, keep it flush and sleek with a cap. It also has a smoother pump action for faster, cleaner cycling, plus enhanced durability. Ultra-lightweight, still at just under 7 pounds, unloaded, compact bullpup design, maneuverability in tight spaces, ambidextrous, Downward shell ejection and a 7 plus 1 capacity for stopping power. It’s great for home defense, range days, anywhere in between. And you can get it in classic black or as part of the Kel-Tec Defender series, completely kitted out and ready to go. MSRP is only $639, so it brings all of this performance well within reach. You can find Made in America Kel-Tec family-owned values at Kel-TecWeapons.com. It’s the KS7 Gen 2. KELTECweapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
SPEAKER 03 :
And now all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 02 :
All right. So first up, a woman accidentally. I think we I don’t know if this is this is I don’t know if this is one of the ones that we’ve had before. A woman who got body parts into her instead of her medication. It sounds very similar to a headline that we’ve had before. But this woman, she ordered medication. You would never, by the way, just want to caution you. You would never have this happen at All Family Pharmacy. Allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana. Use code Dana10 to get 10% off your order. I’m just saying, they would not send you body parts. because this place did. They sent this lady literal body parts. It literally misdelivered body parts and the coroner had to go retrieve them and take them back to the morgue. They said sometimes they’re shipped for transplants and research purposes, but she literally got a delivery Wednesday night. She thought it was her medication and she opened the box and there were some arms and fingers in it instead of her medication. I’m just wondering what kind of medication she has delivered because I don’t know how big of a box you need to ship an arm. But I’d be like, this seems a little bit bigger than what I was anticipating. And I don’t know if it’s like cold packed or what. I’d be like, is this a steak that someone sent me? One of the order from mail steaks? I don’t know. But they said that apparently the incident involves an airline company, a freight company, and a courier. So you had three chances to like somebody to stop it and it didn’t happen. A bank robber stole $400 and $1 bills. And asks the police if he can please keep the money for his jail commissary. That’s not really how that works. 42 years old. He was arrested. He robbed a bank. It’s the city’s first bank robbery in hunting a bank in Ohio in what since 2010. And he’s it’s all on camera. And he fled on foot with $400 and $1 bills. Of course, he was quickly apprehended, but he wanted to keep the money so he could buy stuff in prison. This is funny. U.S. Space Force is going to use three weapons to jam Chinese satellites via remote control. Should we be… Like, I don’t know, advertising this in the press. Hey, China, guess what we’re doing? We’re going to be jamming your satellites. I just feel like this is something we shouldn’t announce. The military is close to fielding two weapons designed to temporarily or I think they meant to say temporarily or temporally. Maybe they did mean temporally jam Chinese and Russian intelligence surveillance and reconnaissance satellites. So you have three counter space. You don’t tell them that we have this. I mean, if there’s one thing that my tax dollars go towards, it’s to super spooky stuff in defense of our nation that you probably shouldn’t be broadcasting like this. By the way, the weapons are called Meadowlands. That sounds almost nice, doesn’t it? Yeah. Meadowlands and remote sensing terminals. Meadowlands. I mean, imagine you’re going, and it’s just a giant space laser that jams your sat. It’s funny. Oh, my gosh. They need to be careful about putting this stuff out there. I don’t know. Maybe they meant to. A new driver was spinning in circles around a church parking lot at Cops in South Carolina. It was near Myrtle Beach. I mean, somebody’s having a day. That’s all it is. They were apprehended because they were driving recklessly. Also, they were completely nude and smelled strongly of alcohol, said police. The guy was arrested and charged with all kinds of stuff, including lots of cocaine. We’ve got more on the way. Stick with us.
SPEAKER 14 :
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of the United States.
SPEAKER 06 :
I saw your voicing Professor Umbridge in the new Harry Potter audiobooks. I was wondering, are you aware that some fans are calling for a boycott, giving J.K.
SPEAKER 08 :
Rowling’s ongoing campaign against trans people? I was not aware of that, no. I’m very sorry. You know, I think we’re all living in a period of time right now where we’re all going to have to figure out how to live together, aren’t we? And we’ve all got very different opinions. So I hope that we can all… find respect.
SPEAKER 02 :
What’s the problem with what she said? People are getting upset with Keira Knightley for some reason. I think she’s lovely. And that’s a stupid question to ask. But she was being very nice about it. She’s doing the voice of Dolores Umbridge in the audiobook of Rowling’s book series. So James McAvoy, Kit Harington, Simon Pegg, Matt Berry, who’s very good. And I think people are trying to get there again. These people wake up. They’re so miserable. These people live such miserable lives. They take joy in being miserable to everybody. And they’re just trying to find someone that they can get upset with. And they’re picking now they’re trying to pick her. And so she was doing this interview with this, I’m not just cider, this lame publication. And they’re asking her this question. And, you know, she kind of laughs about it. And they’re saying, oh, she laughed. Can you believe she laughed? And can you believe she said she didn’t know? Because she’s not a loser like you people. She doesn’t sit around here and do burn book mean girl style and figure out who’s fighting with who. And quite honestly, these people are getting upset over J.K. Rowling. Shut the hell up. No one cares about your stupid opinions. OK, you have not even contributed one artistic anything remotely relevant. close to the level of artistry that she has given to the arts and entertainment community. These people are mad. They’re trying to force compliance with their cosplay. If they were truly happy, they would just live their lives content with how they view themselves. But that’s not enough because their problem is inward, not outward. They want to force all of you, everyone else to affirm their cosplay. And if you don’t, you, not they insanely in their view are the bigot. It’s insane. These are actions of insane people. Make mental institutions great again. And to go after her for it, I thought she handled that idiotic question wonderfully. I would not have been as nice. She handled it very nicely, I thought. She was very calm and chill, and she was very respectful with her opinions. How can you get mad over saying, well, we all have different opinions, so I hope that we can all find respect? Well, I’m mad. That’s what these people are saying. They’re mad at her for saying that everyone has opinions and that we should all be respectful of people’s opinions, which I don’t think you should be, but I even think she’s too nice there. If your opinion is stupid, I have no respect for it. No one is owed respect for an opinion. You aren’t owed respect. At most, you are owed indifference. That is it. You’re not owed anything else but indifference. So she’s even very nice there. But as Juan correctly notes, they want her to pick a side. What team are you on? They want her to put the jersey on. What team? They’re trying to determine. See, they’re sniffing you out like some jackbooted thugs. They’re sniffing you out. She’s removing herself from that. She’s not playing that. I always find it interesting. You have some lowly reporter who probably eats cat food and can’t make ends meet because they decided they wanted to major and get a job in a completely unrealistic dying industry. And so they ask someone who is infinitely more talented and more successful a stupid question like this. And that is a way to elevate their own profile and maybe gain wider acceptance and larger and more ascended professional circles. They decide to stoke a witch hunt like this. It’s stupid. So good on her for giving, not really, but rhetorically kind of a middle finger to this.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 07 :
I want you to press your nose up against your speakers and smell my breath. Clean, fresh, kissable, right? Because I use Zellman’s Minty Mouth. The breath freshener you swallow. Clinically tested to fight the toughest offenders. Zellman’s gives you the confidence to get close.
SPEAKER 13 :
You do realize they can’t smell you, right?
SPEAKER 07 :
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SPEAKER 13 :
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SPEAKER 07 :
How’s your breath today?
SPEAKER 06 :
Listen as students and young adults interview well-respected CEOs on our national radio show, realworldleaders.org, to learn secrets for success and how to use them to propel their careers.
SPEAKER 01 :
This was super interesting, and especially to see that everything can lead to something else. Like our cooking led you to be, you know, the founder, the president of a business. And even like your activities in high school, middle school, like led to this moment.
SPEAKER 14 :
Adeline, what are you looking to do with the rest of your life? You have a sense of that?
SPEAKER 01 :
No, not really, but I’m exploring a lot of interests right now and I enjoy music and languages. So I think maybe something in that area.
SPEAKER 14 :
Brett, somebody that’s interested in languages and music, you think there’s any hope for them?
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh my gosh. I mean, in our world today, everybody speaks different languages and they work with people that speak different languages, have different cultures. That’s great.
SPEAKER 06 :
To hear more and to help us introduce your high school, GED, work-ready and college students to our CEOs, visit our website at realworldleaders.org. That’s realworldleaders.org.
Absurd Truth: Failed Dishwashing Robots
In this episode of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, we journey into the wild world of Florida Man stories that defy logic and leave you questioning reality. From silly string attacks to aerial contraband delivery via drones, the tales are as bizarre as they are entertaining. Tune in for a riotous exploration of these peculiar happenings that are as puzzling as they are amusing.
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