Join Dana Lash as she unravels the most absurd truths from Florida’s peculiar events to the controversial political landscapes of South America. From eccentric criminal acts involving prosthetics and nudity to a deep dive into political discourse about Venezuela, Dana offers her insightful and no-holds-barred commentary. Packed with riveting news stories and thought-provoking debates, this episode guarantees an intriguing mix of fact, critique, and wit.
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 01 :
So I ran out of time for this one yesterday because we had a really short segment. Florida man was arrested because deputies say they found a firearm hidden under his prosthetic silicone boobs that he was wearing while he was trespassing at a construction site, said the authorities. Matthew Zaccarino, 39, was sent alone in his vehicle last month when deputies approached him. They found him wearing a red lace bra with prosthetic breasts, according to Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd in a video posted on social media. The judge goes, then we notice he’s wearing a G-string showing off the boys. You know what I mean? He said it was highly unusual. Deputies discovered that he had a firearm literally hidden under the prosthetics. And Judd was totally grossed out. He said it’s ugly, so ugly. Yeah. So the guy was charged with armed trespassing, loitering, prowling, resisting without violence, and several other things. Yeah. I mean, he looked legit like a weirdo. I mean, it just… Let’s see. Oh, boy. Naked robbery at a Florida meat market. Mm-hmm. That’s a full sentence. A naked masked man. proves that pants are important. He says, uh, Florida man walked into a meat market, totally naked, any KK ID would, but he did have a face covering on no shirt, no pants, not even shoes, just a mask. And it was at BJ’s meat market in Lake city. He walked in totally naked and, uh, he’s 24 year old Kobe Watkins. He apparently on his escape route, There was clothing, so it’s like he discarded his clothing on the way there and then left the same way that he came. Nobody was hurt during the incident. They located him, took him in for a medical evaluation, and then to jail. So he’s got a bunch of charges, including the exposure of sexual organs. You have to have some confidence to not have pants on and rob somebody.
SPEAKER 06 :
The confidence…
SPEAKER 01 :
Or crazy. There you go. You know. Another machete story. A South Florida man was arrested, also naked, after a naked rampage with a hammer and a machete. And he caused thousands of dollars in damages. In Homestead, Carlos Guerrero, 38, was arrested. After police say he was armed with a hammer, mallet and a machete, smashing stuff inside of a home where he rented a room. In addition, he was totally naked. And then he also threw a bag of cement on top of a white Ford Mustang that belonged to one of the residents. He caused almost nine thousand dollars worth of damage to the car. Thousands of dollars of damage inside and outside the property, including the air conditioning units. They arrived. They found him on the side of the house naked and just actively destroying things with a hammer. Lots of stuff swinging. So they took him into custody. Miami Dade. And then Guerrero told the circuit judge that he remembered her from juvenile court. Wow. So he’s in jail. That’s just again, they’re crazy. I would be really afraid to be pantsless as a man swinging around a mallet. Just saying really makes me nervous. And I don’t even have that. Plumbing, you know. Let’s see. We also have, oh, some of these are repeated several times. Do I have time for this? I think so. A Florida man robbed a Dollar General right after he was released from jail. Why? This is like the third or fourth story in the past like three months of somebody robbing a Dollar General. It’s a Dollar General. Can I just say something? You know, Let me go ahead and play this real quick because we were talking about Majuro and all that a little earlier. This is a flashback. Actually, not flashback. Listen to this. This is cut five. This is Tucker Carlson, who I’ve known for years. We got into a giant text message debate on my anniversary, my wedding anniversary, because we were disagreeing on things. And I’m true to my promise. I don’t leak messages. But listen to this cut five.
SPEAKER 03 :
We can safely discount democracy as a reason for affecting regime change in Venezuela. We’re not going to go kill Nicolas Maduro because we don’t like the way he’s treating his people. It’s possible we’re mad that he doesn’t allow gay marriage. That is a distinct possibility.
SPEAKER 01 :
But no one will say that out loud.
SPEAKER 03 :
Not defending the regime, just saying. One of the most conservative countries ever.
SPEAKER 01 :
in north or south or central america only el salvador really comes close which is much smaller so he’s basically saying that well his argument this is flashback to help it to help solidify this is what he said a few months ago uh cut four on maduro to to help give you a fuller perspective of why he just brought up gay marriage with maduro listen to four maduro most people didn’t know this whatever his many faults i wouldn’t hire him as an economist okay
SPEAKER 03 :
But whatever’s many faults, it has the most socially conservative country probably in the hemisphere. So Venezuela is just a fact. I mean, I didn’t make this up. I’m not in charge of Venezuela.
SPEAKER 01 :
What do you mean socially? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They can’t even, what? So because he doesn’t like gay marriage, that makes the murder of everyone okay? Let’s look at socially conservative. Where does murder of dissent, dissenters fit in on the socially conservative gradient scale of asshattery? Where does that fit on that? I mean, so the argument is that he was socially conservative. And that’s why we were ousting him. There is this with these old Gen Xers, the old Gen X woke Reich and the Zoomer Waffen. They love this idea of these tyrants being social conservatives. So that makes them more palatable and acceptable. I mean, I’m just noticing fact. I mean, I didn’t get mad at me. I’m just noticing it. But are they really? Is Majora’s really socially conservative? A guy who sells dope? Destroys families? A guy who murders dissent? Destroys families? A guy who suppresses the populace? That’s in any way socially conservative? But because he doesn’t like gay sex, that makes him completely acceptable. That reforms him entirely in your eyes. That’s asinine. First off, that is miles wide, inches deep analysis that tries to justify tyranny in the most illogical way possible. That is not. I mean, I was shocked when I heard it. When I first saw the video, I had to go back and listen to it because I wasn’t quite sure that I heard what I heard. I don’t think the distinct possibility that Trump captured Maduro because Maduro’s opposition to gay marriage doesn’t say anything about China. Doesn’t say anything about Belt and Road. Doesn’t say anything about the infrastructure that the United States owned and paid for with different companies to partner with Venezuela before the dictators took control of everything. Doesn’t say anything about the drone program with Iran. Doesn’t say anything about Russia’s interest in being in close proximity with all of that power near the United States. Doesn’t mention any of that. but decides to offer some offhanded, well, it’s probably because Maduro, you know, he’s a social conservative. Yes, you know, social conservatives love killing people with cocaine and drug abuse, and they love working with the Sinaloa cartels and Trend Aragua. You know, that’s so socially conservative to partner with violent gangs that murder people and destroy families, which is just a very socially conservative thing, apparently. Now, I talked to him about this, but Tucker won’t come on my show because I think he’s because he’s afraid of a hard conversation. Tucker will not talk to me. This is a fact. It’s in a text because it’s going to be a hard conversation. And fine, I respect that. I respect if you want to just go on friendly fire platforms, you want to just go on friendly platforms. And that’s your right. That’s absolutely right. But I don’t think that that helps to educate the populace about a conversation. I don’t think that that helps to give people a broader view of your position if you only want to go and talk to the choir because you’re concerned that you’re not going to be able to defend your ideas if they’re actually truly intellectually challenged. And that’s okay to be afraid of that. Just don’t pretend that it’s courage or that it’s analysis. So this is, I keep seeing this kind of stuff over and over and over again from the same kind of people, right? Oh, but he’s a social conservative. It’s all right. He’s a social conservative. Somebody was trying to say that about Hitler. Who is as gay as the day is long? They were all saying the same thing. The Dan Blazerian, the guy who’s never met a leg day that he liked. Trump just attacked Venezuela and Kenneth Maduro. It’s illegal under U.S. law. All of these same all of these same accounts started. They were tweeting literally the exact same thing. It’s just an organized op. That’s all it is. It’s an organized op. I the whole thing is goofy. But it’s where these like older Gen Xers that are basically baby boomers. And I’m saying that in terms of generations. And then you have the Zoomer Waffen, which are the Zoomers who think that politics began the day that they fell out of their mother’s female copulatory organ. And they believe that politics began that day. Nothing else has ever happened. There is no precedent. And they haven’t yet met tyranny that they dislike. And they think that just socially is all it is without understanding the relationship to the economic aspect of it. Do you want to know when we were our strongest socially is when we were our freest economically? And the people who don’t understand that are doomed to fail and offer you crappy analysis. It’s just shameful.
SPEAKER 06 :
And now all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 01 :
We’re going to show you a video coming up after break of a new video angle on that woman who tried to murder an ICE agent in Minneapolis. It’s one of the clearest videos out there. So a little bit of a warning heads up. But you’re going to want to see it because they’re going to try to make this George Floyd 2.0. Let’s see. Looking at our headlines, we’ve got… An elderly man plunged from his 15th floor and is miraculously saved by a clothes hanger from the flat below, from the little apartment below. He got saved. He was left lying on his back with those legs hanging in midair. He was rescued, but he literally fell. on one of those like when it’s for high rises it’s like these apparatuses that they put on outside of their window to dry their clothes outside uh wow that is crazy i mean he was seven stories up it looks like it was an accident i don’t know how but uh it was in china of course uh and uh yeah he was rescued but good heavens carroll county parents are using chat gpt to name the new year’s baby Stop using AI to name your babies. They said the first baby that was born on January 1st in America is Hudson Oakley Winkler. That’s a lot of Ks. I like Oakley, but not when you’ve got a K in your last name. That’s just too… Hudson Winkler? I don’t know. It’s better than Oakley Winkler, I guess. That sounds a little too… But both of his parents work in county government. Hudson’s a nice name. And they, I guess, used AI. Okay, let’s not get crazy with that. Let’s not go overboard. A tourist on a remote desert island was stranded after a rift between U.S. allies. This is crazy. So this, I don’t even know where, this was an island between, off of Yemen. Tourist on remote desert island stranded after a rift between U.S. allies. It was air traffic at the island of Sok… So Kotra, their main airport, came to a halt because UAE and Saudi with Yemen. Right. So UAE withdrew its troops from Yemen. They had a deadline with Saudi Arabia and Saudis and UAE are friends, by the way. But now this little island off of the coast of Yemen, they had 600 tourists who had flown in, but they could no longer fly out. So now they’re kind of. Why would you want to go off the coast of a country where they’re having a crazy civil war? It’s a desert island. It’s not like you’re going for anything other than just I mean, there’s other islands like that in the Caribbean that you could go to. Just saying. So also, let’s see. This is a sad story. It’s a Florida boy story, but I didn’t really Florida man. We keep lighthearted, but also dogs are the best people. A little four year old boy disappeared on New Year’s Eve while visiting his father in Alabama. And he had, you know, the family’s trusty, loyal black lab mix named Buck with him. The little boy didn’t make it. He was found two miles from home, but that dog stayed with him the entire time. That dog stayed with that boy. And so when they finally found the boy, they found the dog as well. And hopefully that dog is taken care of for the rest of his life because, you know, I mean, he didn’t leave him. They didn’t release cause of death for the little boy yet, but just horrible. They did charge the… The elder father, apparently he had chemical endangerment of a kid, not apparently the best parent. You know what that means, chemical endangerment. Yeah, making meth. That’s exactly what he was doing. So maybe if he was paying attention to his kid a little bit more, that wouldn’t have happened. I know it’s hard to say, but some people need to hear it. This is in Ohio, so it’s not just in Minnesota. This is everywhere. This is a Somali daycare worker in Ohio. who lost their mind on a journalist that walked inside to ask where to sign up. Watch this. Get back.
SPEAKER 04 :
Get back. Get back. Don’t touch me.
SPEAKER 02 :
Get back. Don’t touch me. Get back. Get back. Get back. Get back. Get back. Get back. Get back. Get back. Get back.
SPEAKER 04 :
Get back. Get back.
SPEAKER 01 :
They’re in the parking lot. No cars are in the parking lot.
SPEAKER 04 :
All right. So, Eric, what just happened? He just freaking pushed me. I just walked in there, and he just started pushing me and screaming, get back. Call the police. As you can see, folks, we had… All we did was go in. We were going to ask some questions. And we were attacked here at Jabba Daycare, 614-269-7042. Wow. Right here in Columbus. All we did was walk in the door.
SPEAKER 01 :
Looks like there’s really happening with a lot of kids there, doesn’t it?
SPEAKER 1 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 01 :
How do you not verify this? So they I was reading and I didn’t know all of this. I was reading up like if you’re going to be a daycare facility, you have to meet. You have to have like all of these different requirements that are met. You have to have outside facilities, et cetera, et cetera. All of the aerial shots. Now, I don’t know about Ohio, although I think this facility I read does not did not meet the requirements either. But in Minnesota, all of the fake daycare or sorry, leering centers, none of them met the requirements. They didn’t have outdoor play areas. There were a number of things that they didn’t have the proper restroom facilities. How do you not check that? How do you not check that? Do you realize that they do more when you go to try to get a dog from a rescue? You are vetted more thoroughly than this. This is insane for all of the stupid comparisons that the left makes. Like, I wish that, you know, my vagina had as many rights as my as guns do and all that stupid stuff. This is one where it actually is rings true where you I mean, it’s literally harder to get a dog from a rescue than it is to get a million dollars to run a fake daycare in Minnesota. That is true. I then this again. So also in Ohio, this Somali research center, this is cut 12. If you’re a research center and you get millions and millions of dollars, of taxpayer dollars with nothing, no vetting, what would you expect to find when you walk in? If you’re going into a research center that’s receiving millions of dollars, Taxpayer money. What are you expecting to see? Kim, what are you expecting to see when you walk into that?
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, depending what the business is, I would say them operating their business, number one, with their customers and their product and their essential workflow right there in front of us for everyone to see.
SPEAKER 01 :
You’re going to be able to see there’s going to be, I mean, it’s going to look like they’re researching something, right? It’s going to be, you’re getting, I mean, multi-million dollars, millions. I didn’t say like a million, millions of dollars. This is cut 12. This is what this journalist found at this Somali research center. Watch or listen.
SPEAKER 05 :
All right, guys. So we are here. We found it. Finally, all day long, the Somali Education Resource Center, Suite 301 here at 299 East Granville Road in Dublin, Ohio. Now, the deal is $14 million into this center here. This is a single office. And by the way, there’s nothing inside it. We’ve already looked. It is very, very, very much dark, and it looks like there’s maybe a couch inside. So you not anything here very nice security system which i found very strange so i assume that they probably have now taken our video and everything about standing out here but there is nothing here and again where’s the money that’s the real question where is the money because this the organization is supposedly 42 million dollars over the past few years in taxpayer funding and we have no access and we have no idea where it is so we’re just trying to answer ask some questions here and we have yet to find anything at all so we’re going to keep looking guys but this is what we found so wow
SPEAKER 01 :
I’m a couch inside. Do you know that when you go for certain groups that are tax exempt, and I know this because when Andrew Breitbart was alive, we ambushed Media Matters in D.C., their headquarters, and demanded to see their 990. A form 990 is what they have to, it’s like this IRS determination letter that they have to keep and it has all their information, et cetera, and you’re supposed to be able to produce that if asked, if you’re structured, if you have a tax-exempt structure that requires it, like Media Matters. So we busted into Media Matters one day, walked right in, you know, because, you know, tax-exempt public building, and demanded to see their 990. So that’s allowed, right? But you can’t walk into someplace that’s received not just tax exempt status, but literally tax dollars to the tune of over 42 million, as you’ve heard. And that’s the… What is enraging is that is just one office in Ohio. The other video was just one fake daycare in Ohio. The others are… I mean, what is it, over 20? I think it’s well over 20 facilities. And that’s just in and around Minneapolis. That’s not all of greater Minnesota. This is state and local, not just national. This should be the biggest story of all time right now. One of. And I fail to see why Americans should continue paying taxes under threat of a penalty that is not enforced against foreign fraudsters.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
