Listeners will enjoy a nostalgic yet controversial trip down memory lane with conversations about Flat Stanley and a peculiar debate involving time travel and Charlie Kirk. Through narrative analysis, the podcast explores how the storytelling of conspiracies can often overshadow real issues, such as immigration’s impact on America and how history’s narratives have been shaped and sometimes distorted by cultural forces. Join us as we challenge prevailing myths on identity, labor contributions, and historical legacies shaping modern America.
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SPEAKER 05 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
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I got a good guy Florida man story. There’s video of it too. It’s crazy. So this is Channel 8. It’s the ABC affiliate there. So Brevard County, a Florida man, a good Samaritan, he saw two toddlers on Sunday walk out. How many lanes is this? I’m looking at the video. It was a four lane busy highway. And these two toddlers just ran out in the middle of the road. And he was driving and he saw it. It was all caught on dash cam video. He ran out there. He said, I was terrified. He ran out there, grabbed them, got them to safety. There were two little girls that were in the middle of the road. He said he grabbed the first one, picked up the second one. He said it maybe took six seconds, but he said it was the most terrifying six seconds of his life because the cars were flying by. He was like, they couldn’t see them. They were so little tiny. They went looking for their parents. They found an Airbnb nearby, knocked on the door. No one answered. No one heard him. He went to the back gate of this house, and apparently that’s how the kids got out. Their parents were clueless. By the way, toddlers aren’t dogs. You can’t just throw them in the backyard and be like, okay. He said there was an elderly couple and a young girl and they went, oh, my gosh, we’re so sorry. He didn’t call police. And he and his wife have five kids and grandchildren. Brevard County Sheriff’s Office confirmed there were no police. But can you keep an eye on your damn kids? Like, I’ve got kids, too. My kids never got out and wandered in the middle of the street. You’ve got to be careful. You can’t just like let them go into the backyard. I mean, good grief. But I’m so glad this guy I’m so glad he found them. He was the one who found them and got them to safety and ran out there. Thankfully, one of the oncoming cars saw what was happening and stopped. But he was able to get them right out of the road. You know what I was thinking, too, when I was watching Juan showing you the videos? Do you? I mean, oh, my gosh. I mean, just two kids out there with no. Oh, my gosh. It just freaks me out. Thank God this man was the one who found them. But the drivers, do you think that they were like, man, how are your kids in the middle of the road? You know, I wonder. But they were apparently at this Airbnb. So I don’t know. A Florida man allegedly threw bricks at a random vehicle before he hid in a canal. What lives in canals, Kane? Alligators. He was throwing bricks at like random vehicles. Also, please, the inquirer. The first sentence, a Florida man is facing charges after he threw bricks. Why is bricks a singular possessive? Is it bricks at a random vehicle? Do they possess that? No. Oh, my gosh. Learn grammar. You don’t need an apostrophe. Just the S will do. Then he fled into the nearby woods, hid in a canal. I can’t believe he didn’t get eaten by a gator. But, of course, guess what? The police got him. He was booked in Lee County Jail and charged as a criminal mischief and use of a deadly weapon. That’s how they’re classifying the brick, was the use of a deadly weapon. I have a woman who got arrested. She threw collard greens and threatened victims with a skillet. She has more hair than any woman of her age I’ve ever seen. 58 years old, and it looks like she’s loaded with extensions. But according to the dryness of her hair, that’s hers. And it was a food altercation, battery aggravated assault. She got booked for several things. Are you being lied to about your retirement? I mean, the advice sounds familiar. Max out your 401k and your IRA and hand your life savings to Wall Street and just hope that the market cooperates. If that were the only way, why do so many people then risk outliving their savings? Why does the inventor of the 401k call it a monster that should be destroyed? The time has come to hear the truth. Bank on Yourself is a retirement plan alternative that provides guaranteed predictable growth and reliable retirement income. Current tax law allows you to enjoy tax-free retirement income while maintaining control and access to your money for emergencies and opportunities. No questions are asked and no government penalties apply. Bank on Yourself delivers peace of mind by showing you the minimum guaranteed value of your retirement savings, before you ever need to use them. Bank on Yourself offers tax-free retirement income, guaranteed growth and full control of your money. Visit bankonyourself.com slash Dana to get your free report. That’s bankonyourself.com slash Dana.
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Regime change sounds great, but what’s the real story in Venezuela? Maduro’s captured, but his entire apparatus is still there. Are they truly liberated? Will the U.S. have to cut a deal with whoever’s left even after this operation? Check out the Watchdog on Wall Street podcast on Apple, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.
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So you guys remember Flat Stanley? Steve, did you do a Flat Stanley?
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It sounds familiar. It might have been elementary school for me.
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Yeah, yeah, it would have totally been an elementary school thing. Kane, do you remember Flat Stanley? I’m not even asking Juan.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Flat Stanley just jumped over Juan’s generation.
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Bulletin board flat, like one-dimensional.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s a book series. And it’s this dude, his name’s Stanley Lambchop. And he became flat because he got hit Like a bulletin board fell on him and it flattened him. And he used that to his advantage. So he’d slide under doors and you could put him in envelopes and send him around. By the way, apparently you could mail kids at one point. Anyway, so yeah, that’s a Flat Stanley. Flat Stanley traveled everywhere, right? So take that and mix it with some meth and craziness. And now we got Time Travel and Charlie Kirk. Sounds like a book. If I was Erica Kirk, I legit would come up with a children’s series called Time Traveler Charlie Kirk. Sometimes I feel like some people take doctor who seriously and this may be one of those instances So I can’t even believe I’m addressing this because they feel like I’m slumming it by addressing this kind of stuff It’s like you’re pointing out the floater in the pool, right? Like there it is You know that the content is so bad. I can’t believe we’re talking about stuff like this with everything else going on but anyway So there was this accusation that apparently Candace Owens is pushing that Charlie Kirk is she’s doing everything she can to stay relevant and to make money. Because what happens? TPUSA made her. What happens after all of this dissipates and goes away? She is left with her gay husband and nothing else. Like what else? What is she going to do? What’s she going to talk about? Aliens? She offers you Kool-Aid. Don’t take it. Don’t drink the Kool-Aid. Don’t go with her to a tropical location and enjoy some Kool-Aid. Don’t do it. So apparently Charlie Kirk is a time traveler and agents were monitoring him from childhood and he was killed because of the space time continuum. I’m not making this up. I’m sorry. I had to see this and you do too. Go ahead.
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Why did Charlie think he was a time traveler? He said, as I showed you in earlier messages, that he was a time traveler and he had to find me. Is that just something people are saying to their homies in text messages? And again, not anything that I would have placed so much emphasis on back when he was saying it, but it came to fruition. The other parts, he did die young. Why did he think that him dying young was necessary in order to change things? He did die young. Oh, my gosh. It is related to Turning Point USA in some way or another. At the very least, we can all agree it’s related to him speaking at a campus event for Turning Point USA. I’m totally occupied by this. I tell you.
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We are all dumber for having heard that. So somebody makes a joke about being a time traveler and for clicks. Wow. He’s a time traveler and he was killed by agents for upsetting this best Tom continuum and also something about Jews. But whatever. I’m sure she blamed them later on. I just couldn’t literally I couldn’t abort enough brain cells required to listen to all of that in its entirety. Um, yeah. So he was a time traveler and also she thought he, she was apparently an alien because the text was a joke. People apparently had, um, And it was a text message apparently from like 10, like maybe 10 years ago. It was a really long time ago because she doesn’t have anything new. Remember, he didn’t want anything to do with her later on. And she wasn’t even invited to his wedding. She wasn’t even at his wedding. So he apparently made a joke where he was like, she said, I’m an alien. And he goes, I think I’m a time traveler. And he was just joking. Clearly, anybody with a brain cell can see that. So she needs to continue the grift. Right. So now it’s going to be he’s a time traveler and he was killed because of the space time continuum. Who watches this? I mean, maybe other than Qataris. Who watches this? It’s like cultish. I don’t get this. This is just nuts. It’s this is really I don’t know. I don’t have any words for this. But at least like she stopped talking about to Jews for five seconds. Right. I don’t know. I wish I was a time traveler and I could go back in time and pretend that I’ve never heard of her.
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I always think about it in the context of if I heard someone at the grocery store talking like this, like what would I do? I’d probably put my groceries back on the shelf and go to another store.
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I mean, if he was a time traveler, why didn’t she go? Why didn’t she ask him? Why didn’t she ask him why he never went back in time and killed baby Hitler?
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Right. And by the way, is he from the future or the past?
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Yeah, is it future Charlie or past Charlie? I mean, this is just, it’s like, it’s… grievance clickbait prostitution. I have no other way to describe it. I just I mean, not talking about Iran, not talking about some of the domestic issues or Minnesota. It’s just all this. It’s just a hyper obsession with this. But when that dissipates, and when you know, the time claims the time establishes the legacy and claims the immediacy. What is she left with? Nothing. Nothing. She her relevancy comes entirely from TPUSA. TPUSA made her and then she fell out of she like apparently got crazy or was always crazy. And she was always on the left, though. Let’s not pretend that she wasn’t. She got started by suing some she got started with racial hustling. She claimed that someone was like racist to her at her school and sued them. With the NAACP, that’s like and then she created a website like in 2015 where she was doxing conservatives and she apparently was on the side of the third and fourth wave feminists with Gamergate. And then now because it makes her money, she thinks, you know, let’s go ahead. And now you can see you can only pretend so long before the wheels fall off. And that’s kind of what this is. I just think, you know, dustbin of history will have something else to add to its collection here for sure. I just I don’t know. I just find that insane. And just the stuff that she’s put his widow through with her insanity. I don’t know. I just I don’t even find it compelling. Like I’m bored to death talking about it. I can’t even imagine anybody listening to it. I would imagine it’s like bot viewership, too, because I am bored to tears. That’s boring ass content. That’s boring. I’m bored talking about it. So I’m moving on. And unless she like, I don’t know, shows me an alien or actually provides any proof of anything she’s ever discussed. I’m just not interested. I see basic bees on Instagram provide more compelling things. So I’m just over it. During the holidays, it’s easy for all the healthy habits to go out the window. Desserts, late nights, you name it. But now that the new year has begun, I have one easy suggestion to get you back on track, and it starts with Cove Pure. Everyone runs to new supplements, diets, and workouts, but ignores the most basic thing, water. Even mild dehydration hurts your energy, your focus, and metabolism. And with all the garbage in tap water, you’re starting behind before you even begin. CovePure fixes that. Their ClearWave Reverse Osmosis Tech removes up to 99.9% of contaminants, PFAs, microplastics, pharmaceutical residue, fluoride, heavy metals. So you’re just drinking water, which is why we love it. And you can pick hot, cold, or warm water at the touch of a button and use size presets like 16 ounces to make hitting your water goals simple. It sits on your countertop, no installation or plumber needed. I have mine in my studio and my team uses it every day. Make a New Year’s resolution that sticks. Improve your health with Cove Pure. Get $200 off for a limited time when you use my link today. covepure.com slash Dana. That’s C-O-V-E-P-U-R-E dot com slash Dana.
SPEAKER 07 :
Liberty Nation with Mark Angelides.
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Domestic fraud runs rampant and international intrigue comes to the boiling point with Trump’s reaction to Iran. Discover the inside details on Liberty Nation Radio this week.
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Author, columnist, managing editor of LibertyNation.com. Podcast host and conservative policy advocate. We dismiss history at our peril. Liberty Nation with Mark Angelides.
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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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So an official probe into a massive Venezuelan or Venezuelan Verizon. Can you tell what’s coming up next? Verizon outage uncovers a likely trigger that apparently cut service for thousands across the United States. They think that it was a network server in New Jersey that was the likely trigger of it. It was a day long. I didn’t notice. I didn’t have any. I didn’t notice anything. Of course, you know, we have Patriot Mobile, so they have coverage on all three major networks. And I didn’t notice anything. I got to tell you, but they began looking at hours long. Isn’t there? I read somewhere and I was trying to find it. Isn’t it true that they have to pay a fine because if you go down, you still have to be able to call emergency services? And if you can’t, then it’s a then it’s an FCC issue.
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I have heard that actually.
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Yeah, that’s yeah, that’s that. Yeah, that’s what I thought. So that’s something I do think that that’s something that they’re going to have to deal with the Verizon people anyway. So thankfully, that’s been restored for everybody. People pay $99 a month to talk. They’re paying $99 a month to talk to a Tony Robbins chat bot. self-help guru they they started offering these little ai chatbot services and they’re it’s like personalized it promises personal i can’t believe people pay 99 a month for that it’s not him a month a month not a year a month oh man a month i’m i have to say it one more time this is in the wall street journal it’s a month $99 a month to talk to a Tony Robbins AI chatbot. I’m sensing opportunities here, Cain. Yeah. A lot of them. Scientists are discovering a bizarre form of water that’s both a solid and a liquid. Interesting. They said that it’s simultaneously both of these, that oxygen atoms are locked into a crystal while hydrogen flows freely. They found the… They call it super ionic ice. It has a jumbled structure that mixes two different crystal arrangements. And it exists on Uranus and Neptune. And they said that this kind of might offer insight into why the planets have like these weirdly tilted magnetic fields. And they’ve had all of these contradictory experimental results over the years. So now they’re thinking that this, and apparently this was something that’s also affirmed by a quantum computer simulation. Kane says he calls it a slushie.
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I’m less scientific.
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Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, I think it’s a slushie. It’s just a giant slushie. Media Matters says it’s ending its presence on X because they don’t have a monopoly on the narrative. Media Matters, which is a cesspool of an organization that is staffed by people who lotion up George Soros at night. And they don’t accept advertising because they get they get privately funding from Nepo babies, Nepo rich socialists. That’s who funds Media Matters. So I don’t and I hate the bulwark. That’s where this came from, this headline. I can’t stand the bulwark because it’s the right version of Media Matters. And I say the right loosely, by the way. No, Media Matters is ending its presence on X because it’s a giant pansy, and it can’t dominate the narrative, and it can’t lie about people. Media Matters actually libeled me. They tried to get me fired from CNN. They tried to get me fired from every job that I’ve ever had. They used to make up quotes and attribute them to me, and they stalked me relentlessly. I had a reporter named Joe Strupp who stalked me every event. He actually was nice, and I would joke about why they couldn’t unionize over there.
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The majority of Americans across the country, regardless of political party, know that immigrants from all over the world, Somalia, India, wherever they’re from, Latin America, Africa, that immigrants have built this country and make this country what it is today.
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Immigrants were part of it, but not those immigrants. That’s just a flat out lie from Permia Jayapal, a communist history retconner who apparently is a racist also. Welcome back to the program. Bottom of the second hour, Dana Lash with you. No, it wasn’t Somalis that built the country and it wasn’t Africans that built the country and it wasn’t Latinos that built the country. In fact, the dominant heritage of people who built the country were British immigrants. They were Scottish. They were Irish. They were English. That was it. He had a lot of Germans, a lot of Dutch, a lot of French. All of those were the entities that actually built the United States of America. In fact, in my home state of Missouri, St. Genevieve, beautiful town, that was a German and French town. uh settlement that grew so this idea that it was all these people that came over and built this is stupid that’s not indicative that’s not real history that’s retconning everything the earliest settlements the earliest permanent settlements were english jamestown plymouth all of it they were all english they all had their own core foundations they were christian settlements And then the diversity in the early days was between the English and the German. And then you had the Pennsylvania Dutch, and then you had the French Huguenots, and then you had the Scots and Irish and all the other things. That’s the diversity of the immigration system. And they were people, by the way, do you know how we know all this? Do you know how we have records of all of this? Would you like to know? All of these people came here and they registered. One might say they did it legally. That’s how we are able to know. Pretty crazy, isn’t it? They came here legally. Now, half of my ancestry was already here. And then I had some ancestors that came in from Norway through Scotland, and then they ended up coming through the Carolinas and they registered. And then I know that I had an ancestor with the last name of Sutton who is hung off the coast of the Carolinas for piracy. We know that because of records. So when people are tracking this American history and the heritages, it’s because people came here legally and they registered and you can track it. So the English was – they were dominant in the beginning. And then it started shifting into German and Dutch and Irish populations. I mean that’s ultimately – that’s what ended up happening. So – You can argue that the labor force later on, when people want to make arguments, when they talk about slavery, et cetera, which by the way, Irish were also enslaved. I mean, it’s all horrible, but let’s not make it more horrible by pretending it only happened to one subgroup. The Arab world still employs slaves today. Over 95% of Qatar is literally a slave population that they bring in. That’s not an exaggeration. That’s God’s honest fact. That’s a slave population. So the Arab world trafficked in slavery heavily. They still benefit from slavery today. Qatar is a slave nation built by slaves. That’s a fact. So this idea that, you know, yes, it’s all horrible, but you don’t make it more horrible by pretending that it didn’t happen or that it only happened to one subgroup in particular. Hell, Cain, how long was it before he had an Irish president? It was Kennedy, right? Yeah, right. I mean, he was Catholic, too, and that was a big deal back then. So… This idea, what she’s saying here is just stupid DEI gibberish. That’s Marxist critical race theory. And Marxist critical race theory, which was really popularized on campuses in the 60s and 70s by pseudo-academic Derrick Bell – I’ve been writing about this since 2012 – He wanted to popularize this in American colleges, and he went to various American universities to lecture on it. And it replaces the variable of economic status in the Marxist formula with heritage, with history. that sort of unchosen, uncreated identity with which you were born. And it tries to divide people in that regard. So critical race theory from that came DEI and everything else. That is where that’s how all of that was promoted into being. And the reason that it was promoted into being was because they wanted to go after the very construct of this republic. If you make the foundation weak, then maybe all of it can topple. It’s like if you play Jenga and you take enough pillars away at the bottom, the whole thing will risk collapse. And that’s the purpose of these sorts of Marxist psychological attacks, the retconning of history. I mean, you could say Irish and Chinese immigrants, they actually performed the bulk of the backbreaking labor building the railroad system. That’s a fact. It wasn’t Somalis. And it sure as it wasn’t Somalis, wasn’t Africans. It wasn’t Latinos. It was the Irish and the Chinese that built the railroads. I mean, how far do you want to go with this? I don’t think that immigrants like Permia Jayapal need to lecture Americans about our history. I think perhaps maybe she should work a little bit harder at understanding the history of the nation that she purports to represent instead of trying to colonize us with the retconning of her version of our history. I don’t appreciate that. I’m tired of tolerating it. I’m tired of treating it in any kind of courteous manner because it’s a malicious, demonic lie. And I’m sick of it. I’m sick of people being told that they have to be ashamed of who they are, where they come from. It’s very interesting how racism is always applied by the left. But whenever they’re held to account, they want to dodge it most vigorously. This is insane. I mean, how far do we want to go with this stuff? I mean, that’s the history of this nation. Now, we are e pluribus unum, but here’s one important fact that you need to remember with e pluribus unum, and that is assimilation. Go back to any nation in history. I mean, again, I gave the example of Rome with the Goths and what happened when they stopped practicing the principle of e pluribus unum and stopped demanding assimilation and stopped accepting more than what their economic structure could actually withhold. It’s not cruel to deny entry when your structure, when your republic can’t even accommodate it. That’s actually being merciful to the people who have been there the longest and have paid the most into it and have done the most to promote and build it. You don’t punish those people by trying to assuage the vanity of those who want in. So no, for me, Jayapal, I find that to be illiberal, anti-intellectual, and so stupid that it’s offensive because of the sheer stupidity of the phrase. So that’s the truth about that.
SPEAKER 05 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 06 :
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