Join us on a wild ride through the latest absurd truths emerging from the Sunshine State and beyond! We kick things off with the infamous antics of Florida’s own, where ordinary disputes turn into legendary tales of chaos and hilarity. From an unexpected car theft to an explosive incident gone awry, Florida man never fails to entertain and bewilder. In this episode, we also dive deep into the heated debates that are shaping the current media landscape. With Don Lemon at the epicenter of controversy, we dissect the fine line between journalism and activism, exploring the implications of recent
00:27:34 Podcast Conclusion and Subscription Reminder
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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
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That’s right. It’s time for Florida man on the Dana show. A D lash Dana lash radio on X on Twitter. A great ways to stay connected to her. I got three of them. These are crazy. Let’s do them in ramping up order. The first one is less crazy than the next one. A dude got mad that his neighbor was blowing leaves onto his car. And so he attacked his neighbor. Of course he did. The guy ripped the leaf blower out of somebody’s hands, and there’s even viral audio of this in Delray Beach in Florida, where the guy who’s holding the leaf blower says, you’ve got a lot of nerve, bro. But the dude takes the leaf blower, stamps on it, crushes it, destroys it, and says, never ever put leaves on my car again, darn it. So a crazy version of a fight that you think could have been settled with maybe just words. But this is Florida, so they have actions, not words, to figure that stuff out. The next story involves a woman, 37 years old, in Miami. She ordered a Lyft from a family dollar to take her home. When the Lyft driver arrived, she stole the car. which of course she did. Her name is Lindsay. She offered the Lyft driver some money at first and then eventually just forced the person out of the vehicle and took it, which is the kind of thing that I guess you’d expect to happen a lot more often in Miami or in Florida than anywhere else. That’s not all. When police finally caught up to her and arrested her for stealing someone else’s car, an easy crime to crack, by the way, because if you use your real name on the Uber app, when you order the car, they know who you are. They’re able to track you down. But not just that. She also had a pink glass pipe device that was used with cocaine residue on it in her purse. She had Xanax and other stolen drugs on her. She seemed to be doing a whole lot of terrible things. When they confronted her about the vehicle that she had, she admitted to stealing it, saying that she needed it, and her mugshot also went viral because she looks about as crazy as you’d think she does. But a woman, 37 years old, stole an Uber driver’s car in Miami. Luckily, no one was hurt, and the car has been returned. And then finally, and this is the craziest story, a shoplifting incident happened that escalated into, I guess, an almost dangerous situation. This happened at a Panera. I don’t know how this went from shoplifting to what it went to, but someone who was hiding a shotgun shell in her mouth went into a bathroom at Panera and tried to ignite the shotgun shell with a lighter. when getting picked up for a shoplifting charge. I think I even have audio of the Martin County Sheriff talking about the craziness of this and arresting a guy, excuse me, named Hugh that was doing this, not a woman. I’m glad that I got that wrong. But here we go. Let’s play this audio.
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They had no idea what they were dealing with until our suspect was in custody. He was aggressive towards them, meaning that he was confrontational. He didn’t fight with them, but he was confrontational. He was swearing. They realized that what the suspect was actually doing was trying to set off a 12-gauge shotgun slug. It rarely happens, but bullets actually can fire if they’re exposed enough heat and fire. We see that in car fires with rounds going off. This could have ended catastrophically. A shotgun round, a slug round could penetrate the suspect, could penetrate our deputies.
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Yeah, it could have done a lot of horrible things. Luckily, the guy’s an idiot in Florida who was trying to set off the shotgun shell with just a lighter that he was holding to the bottom of it, and luckily it failed. If he were smarter, maybe things would have ended even worse, which is, you know, obviously great that no one got hurt. But just a crazy story out of Florida, a guy being like, don’t arrest me for stealing this Panera, or I’m going to attack you with the shotgun shell.
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Put all your gear on that you carry and then roll around on the ground. Now get up. All your gear that’s on the ground, that’s what you’re not going to have in a fight.
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Gun Talk should be in your podcast feed. Check out Gun Talk Nation. What’s it like to be blown up? You know, if it’s like C4, it’s almost like a smack. Hunting. Yeah, we talk about that too. On your crosshairs, I like a thin crosshair. AJ, you’re really dating yourself by calling things crosshairs. You’re reticle. Whatever. Have some fun and stay informed with the Gun Talk Podcast.
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SPEAKER 09 :
I didn’t mention Lemon as much because I just saw him as a guy desperate for attention. But now he might actually be someone who gets in a lot of legal trouble. I saw that quite a few different comments in the last 24 hours have hinted that there might be charges coming for a lot of the people who invaded a church because that’s illegal. You can’t do that. You can’t protest there. There’s two different, the FACE Act, one of those laws that might be utilized. And Don Lemon is not any different than anybody else. unless you ask him. Of course, if you ask him, all of this is because he’s a gay black man living in America. That’s the only reason that anyone would be trying to get him in any trouble. Not because, and this is what a lot of the rest of us probably think, he did things that are against the law, or at least potentially against the law, especially since he’s barely a journalist, even though people call him that. I know I’ve heard some other pundits say they would not want to see him arrested because it’d be a bad thing to set a precedent that other journalists could get in trouble. But I do think we have to define that line and define it well. But anyway, here’s part of what Don Lemon said on a podcast after these questions started to arise and that he was allowed to be there because of white supremacy and entitlement. And also, of course, he’s now being persecuted.
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And there’s a certain degree of entitlement. I think people who are in religious groups like that, it’s not the type of Christianity that I practice, but I think that they’re entitled and that entitlement comes from a supremacy, a white supremacy. And they think that this country was built for them, that it is a Christian country when actually we left England because we wanted religious freedom. it’s religious freedom but only if you’re a christian and only if you’re a white male pretty much and so yeah i absolutely 100 but it’s an intimidation tactic and you know i said i don’t understand how i’ve become the face of it when i was a journalist i do understand that i’m the biggest name there and i’m also as i was on with my producers this morning you know you and kylie talk all the time my producers were saying i said how did i become the face of this and my producer said don you’re a gay black man in america
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Of course, of course, you have to be the face of it. There’s no other reason that you could possibly be the person that people are paying attention to. I don’t know. Maybe it’s the stuff you said, the stuff about white supremacy and everything else and the fact that it’s so illogical. And then finally, the fact that you should know better. And what I mean by that is that if you are going to use the umbrella of journalism as a place where you’re protected no matter what, you probably shouldn’t encourage people to protest inside of a church. That’s probably a mistake that you wouldn’t make if you were actually still even at CNN. The lawyers at CNN would have gotten involved and said, hey, this is probably not a good idea for us to have a presence here because we’re pretty sure this is violating some standards and some laws that we’d rather not violate. But darn it, eh. Go ahead and go anyway. That’s what I mean by defining a standard for what a journalist is in today’s society. I love independent journalism. I think you do, too. I imagine most of us do because it’s the only way to really get the truth from anyone. The truth is important. And a lot of times mainstream media, liberal media hides most of the relevant information, along with giving you a narrative and not actually telling you facts. But the problem with independent journalism occasionally, and again, I’m really loosely using that to define Don Lemon, because I think he’s just someone whose media starved him out for attention. I don’t think he’s trying to tell anyone the truth about anything. But anyways, they don’t have that protection system. I saw Nick Shirley was asked this in an interview somewhat recently, the All In podcast, which is a great podcast. But they asked him, you know, what kind of legal protections did you give yourself in case someone comes after you? And Shirley was pretty candid about it. He goes, none. I have none. I know there’s some other people out there. I know that, you know, James O’Keefe and others have lawyers that they use when they do this sort of stuff. And honestly, a lot of that is just to protect yourself from frivolous lawsuits that can derail you. People can sue you with no intention of trying to beat you in a courtroom or thinking they can win in a courtroom, but simply bogging you down with lawsuits that you have to defend yourself against, you have to spend money against, and it can crush a lot of small independent journalists. The money side of the business can be difficult. And so I do think that when we’re talking about these sort of things, if you’re Don Lemon and if you’re actively doing something like defying the FACE Act, there is an avenue to where even you should face some sort of justice for that, some sort of potential punishment, a trial, anything, charges. And if you lose, even if you use the umbrella of journalism as your protection, That’s not a new thing. That’s a thing that you have to deal with from that point on. So I don’t think it’s crazy that people are asking the question, should Don Lemon go to jail? I just called him John. Should he go to jail? And I do think it’s sort of insane that there’s some people out there saying that, no, we don’t want to start doing this because then we’re going to see a whole lot of journalists in jail. Not if they don’t break laws and not if they don’t break actual law, not if you don’t protest inside churches and act as though you’re the person just, you know, providing the story when you seem to be an active participant. That’s the other aspect to it. Don Lemon seemed to very much have an opinion that he was sharing. If you were just media documenting something occurring in society, you would be the person that doesn’t want to be part of the story. You know, that’s the last thing I’ll say about that, because I plan to move on. But I’ll say one other thing. There was a time in journalism and media, like the real version of it, the version where you had people who knocked at the door that you were afraid of if they said, hey, we need to talk, and the media was there. Not what we have now. But there was a version of that where those individuals, the stars of news, didn’t want to be the story ever. They never wanted the attention to be put on them, to be put on their opinions, to be put on any aspect of who they are. They only wanted the story to be about the person that the story was going to be about. The person that you were talking to or the thing that you were covering, you mattered as little as possible in your own mind. In today’s society, a bunch of these people think that they’re the most important person in the room. Don Lemon acted that way the other day. He seemed to think he was the most important person in the room, and then he’s upset when media is talking about him. He’s like, oh yeah, they’re just attacking me because I’m a black gay man in America, and of course they have to do that, and I’m a liberal, and that’s insane. None of that makes any sense because you injected yourself into the story. You broke journalism’s 101 rule. The first thing you learn in class one is that you should never yourself be the story, and they don’t seem to ever know or appreciate that even a little bit.
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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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That’s right. It’s time for a quick five on the Dana Show. D. Lash, Dana Lash Radio. If you want to check her out. And X on Twitter. Great ways to stay connected to everything going on in her orbit and everything going on about this show. All right. The Indiana Hoosiers are college football’s national champions. This is for the first time ever for the school, which just a few short years ago was an embarrassment to college football and now is the best team in the land solely because of the guy they hired to be their head coach. I think that is the opinion of a lot of people. Here is the final call from that game.
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A century of futility is forgotten. The Indiana Hoosiers are the kings of college football.
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It is crazy to hear it and to have people talking about that today. I know you might not care a lot about college football on this show. It might not be something we talk about all the time. And honestly, a late pick in that game is something that kind of surprised me. I kind of thought Miami was going to march down the field and win the game. That did not happen. So Indiana IU is now a probably perennial powerhouse. in the world of college football, which is just crazy to say out loud to me and many people who remember how bad they were a short few years ago. But Kurt Cignetti is responsible for so much good that’s happened there and the likelihood of doing it again. I actually did see in an interview that he said he’s going to take one day off. That would be today and get back to work tomorrow on the next year’s team, which is hilarious to me. All right, some other things out there that I saw. I thought this was interesting. A list on BuzzFeed went viral of young people saying that they don’t feel like real adults. And these are the moments in their life that make them feel like they’re pretend adults. Now, we can absolutely laugh at this together because many of these things are quite stupid on this list, but I’m going to give them to you because I thought they were entertaining. Wearing business attire so you look like you know what you’re talking about was the number one thing I put on this list. Some version of dressing up fancy for work and then thinking that I know more than I do, or at least other people think that I know more than I do, is hilarious to me. Own it, man. Own the suit if you throw one on for a work function. I don’t feel like a pretender in it. Filing taxes was number two. Signing all of those forms is something that people mentioned as feeling like they’re a pretend adult when they do it. Try buying a house is what I would say to anyone that feels like filing taxes is weird. You sign a ridiculous amount of paperwork the first time you buy a home and you don’t care at all. about any of the things you’re signing. You’re like, I just want the house, just whatever. This is fine. I don’t even know what this is. I’m not even really reading this one. I imagine you don’t do much more reading as you buy other homes. But that was my experience with the first house we bought was we read nothing. Investing and planning for retirement was number three on this list, even though a whole bunch of people of any age should be doing this. This is the kind of thing that would be good for you. You’ll be happy about it later in life if you are doing it sooner. But I get where some people say in their 20s and whatnot might say that that is something that feels like it’s a pretend moment and not a real moment. But again, I laugh at most of this. Partly because I think the whole idea of a pretend adult is hilarious. And part of the reason may be that some people struggle in, say, workplaces. I think once you are of a certain age, just live life the way you’re supposed to live it, man. Stop saying things like adulting because it’s annoying to a lot of the rest of us out there. All right, another story out there that I saw that I thought was funny and maybe lands in the face of that last one. A study found that parents are desensitized to gross stuff. The amount of gross things that you experience once you have children, whether this is bowel movements, vomits, all kinds of things, it just makes you much more desensitized. to having something happen with you or anyone around you in your life that, say, before might have made you feel a lot queasier. It’s essentially a version of how doctors behave as more and more they get used to some of the things that happen inside, say, hospitals. I thought this was really funny. I thought that it was one of the many ways that says you have a badge of honor of some kind by being a parent. And, you know, it’s just it’s another aspect of, yeah, my kid’s done that. Yeah, that was horrible. I do remember the first time my mom told me about a story where one of us injured ourselves seriously. It would be me and how I broke my arm. I think I was in second grade when I did it and her reaction to it because the arm was broken in three places. Bone was almost sticking out of places it shouldn’t be sticking out of. And she panicked a lot. And then when my brother destroyed his arm in, I think, grade school, too. And I say that lightly, but I think it was true. Much less fear. My mother was much more equipped to handle it because I broke my arm first. That’s what you get when you have boys, I guess. All right. One last story, too, before we take a break. And I just think this is kind of funny. A woman was throwing gym weights around in a fight at a gym. This happened in Texas. Seems like a bad place to get into a fight. That stuff’s heavy. Mamdani was on The View. And a bunch of the things that he said have gone viral. I’m not sure exactly where I want to start. There was a moment where Whoopi Goldberg said to him, if you can do all the things you’re promising to do, not only will you change the city of New York, but you’ll change the country, which is a terrifying thing to hear her say, because the admitted Democratic socialist who’s proud of what he is basically believes in communism. That’s the funny part that I’ll I don’t know if funny is the right word, but that’s to me the darkly amusing part in this is that I’ll keep mentioning that anyone who’s a democratic socialist inevitably believes that we should slowly develop a socialist and then communist version of society. It’s the long run. to the same terrible thing where you say that you’re going to work within the constructs of capitalism for the time being and then slowly and surely buy as many things as you can for the government to own and then do more and more that essentially just takes all our freedoms away and winds up really bad for a whole lot of people, most of us included in that, whoever you are listening to this show, whatever side of the political aisle you’re on, this ends poorly for you if Mamdani gets what he wants long term. But I will play some of this audio and him saying that there’s no problem too big and too small. We’re going to fix everything. We care about everything. We’re going to spend a bunch of money on universal child care. Oh, yeah, because fraud’s not at all a potential concern when you’re barreling a ton of money into child care at a state or a local level. Here we go. I’ll be honest, it feels incredible.
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This is the dream of a lifetime. And we’ve always wanted to build a city government that moves as fast as New Yorkers do. When a New Yorker is trying to walk somewhere, you don’t get in their way. City government hasn’t felt like that for a long time. So we’ve wanted to say that there’s not gonna be any problem too big or too small for us to address. So day one, we put bad landlords on notice right after that inauguration speech. We fixed a bump on the Williamsburg Bridge. Day eight, we announced more than a billion dollars in funding for universal child care.
SPEAKER 09 :
Oh, wait, wait. How’s that last one there? Is that going to be potentially a whole bunch of horrible, fraudulent things that might happen that we’re seeing happen other places? It’s crazy to watch him say and do the amount of things that he’s saying and doing publicly and convincing a lot of people that this would be good stuff. I’ll play another little piece of it. This is where he says he’s totally for abolishing ICE. and that they’re not doing the thing that they’re supposed to be doing. This essentially is leaning into the Mikey Sherrill thing, too, saying that ICE is the bad guy, they’re the enemy. And I’ll say something else before I even play on this. There is audio of ICE agents pulling up to protesters inside a vehicle and saying, the person we’re trying to arrest is a child predator. There’s someone who is like had sex crimes against children that they were found guilty of. We are trying to get this person and bring them out of this community and out of this country. And you’re stopping us. You’re preventing us. That’s crazy. That’s that’s ridiculous, because that’s the part that the left doesn’t want to talk about. The logistics don’t matter. They want you to see the enemy as an overarching thing with no sort of potential avenues for constructive conversation. No version of, hey, what’s going on here? Do the actual details matter, yes or no? To them, no. The overarching message is all that matters. Here’s Mamdani saying he’d support fully abolishing ICE, which of course would be bad for our society, much like open borders was bad for our society.
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Well, Mr. Mayor, in light of recent events, there have been renewed calls from prominent Democrats to abolish ICE. I want to know where you come down on abolishing ICE and if you believe that ICE has any legitimate law enforcement role.
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You know, I am in support of abolishing ICE, and I’ll tell you why. Because what we…
SPEAKER 09 :
It’s crazy. Of course, you wouldn’t get these applause in a non-view audience in New York City. But again, and this is the desire of the left to oversimplify these topics, to make the idiots support them. There’s no nicer way to say that. That’s the way to say it. They want you to believe that this would be the right path forward. We abolish the bad guy that we told you existed. Of course, that bad guy is connected to the other bad guy in President Trump. You need that to go away, too. We need to impeach him, as we’ve tried multiple times to do it. Yada, yada, yada, again and again, same platform, same message, a new set of variables. But I’ll let part of this continue, because it’s just crazy to say that they’re not doing the thing that they are actually being asked to do by our society, because they absolutely are doing that, by the way. ICE is actually handling the business they have been asked to handle, and it’s not a nice-looking thing. When you go and ask people, well, not ask people, you apprehend people who are unwilling to leave this country, who have no right to be here, when you have to go catch them, it doesn’t look good. It’s not something that’s fun to watch or fun to see. And that’s the part of this that’s crazy. I’ve heard people describe ICE as thugs. And yet the reality to me is that these are a lot of individuals who don’t know what it looks like when police deal with people that don’t want to listen to police. That happens often. You see a lot of situations where police wind up having to intervene. And it’s not the, you know, everything is nice and rainbows, a version of conversation the left wants us to have. But here’s a little bit more from him, Donnie.
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What we see is an entity that has no interest in fulfilling its stated reason to exist. We’re seeing a government agency that is supposed to be enforcing some kind of immigration law. But instead, what it’s doing is terrorizing people, no matter their immigration status, no matter the fact. Totally wrong.
SPEAKER 09 :
Absolutely wrong. The amount of people who’ve been deported during this administration and rightfully deported is through the roof. And we’re going to see a lot more of it. And a whole lot of people have self-deported. And that’s one last thing I’ll say before I move on to one other topic and then we take a break. But I just think that this is so interesting that they dangled the carrot of money out there. to a bunch of people who were here illegally they said if you show up willingly and if you go we’ll give you some money and we’ll refresh some of these uh status things that are a problem for you so you can try to come into the country legally can’t come back in illegally but if you want to try to come in the right way we’ll go ahead and potentially work with you on that um i think that’s profoundly interesting that a whole lot of people have said yes to that that offer About a million or so people have been like, yeah, OK, we’ll do that. That sounds great to us. That is totally different than the narrative from the left that these are innocent victims who are actual U.S. citizens that are being removed from society wrongly. You barely see stories like that where people that are rightfully here are apprehended by ICE and put into a deportation process that sends them somewhere else. Yeah. By the way, I’ll say one last thing about this, a caveat for anyone that doesn’t know it. If you disrupt ICE during their right to, you know, do some sort of operation, if they’re in the middle of an investigation or in the middle of trying to catch somebody that’s here illegally and you disrupt them, they can detain you. They can’t arrest you. They can’t put you in jail, but they can detain you. They can stop you. They can contact local law enforcement and you can get in legal trouble for the thing you You did. That seems to be something a lot of people aren’t aware of. ICE can legally detain U.S. citizens who are interfering in their investigations. That’s not against the law.
SPEAKER 08 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 13 :
It’s 2026 and the left still can’t tell us what a woman is, even at the U.S. Supreme Court. The chairman of the Democrat Party likens Iranian freedom protesters to the shrieking anti-ice demonstrations in Minnesota. And what will President Trump do now that Iran has started slaughtering its own people? I’m Greg Karambas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the top news, some good laughs, and we’ll be done in less than 30 minutes. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
