Join us as we unravel the eccentricities of Florida Man stories, where chaos meets comedy. We further dissect the ins-and-outs of the latest Omnibus spending bill, drawing attention to the economic and political ramifications while voicing concerns over legislative transparency and accountability.
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SPEAKER 06 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 10 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 05 :
Okay, we’re back asking this question again. How many people in Florida have a machete? I think everybody does. Is it required? Make a note. The next time we have the governor on, Governor of Florida, that’s a question I need to ask. Because every, guys, this is a completely different story involving yet another machete wielder. Lee County Sheriff’s Office arrested a Florida man accused of road rage. He threatened to assault a woman with a machete. Deputies arrested Mark. That’s right. Yeah, a lot of a lot of consonants in this one. On Monday, following a disturbance call at the interest at an intersection, deputies spoke with a woman who described being involved in a road rage incident with who allegedly ran away from the scene. He closely tailgated her and then flashed his lights toward her for several blocks. And then at the intersection, he got out of his vehicle and approached her waving a machete trying to intimidate her. So he was arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. They found him at his residence and they got his machete. I’m just like how many people this has been in the past two months. I’ve had six stories of dudes with machetes, all different, all different. Is that a thing? And then, relatedly, where is mine? I read about people having machetes, and I’m like, for me? Like, I want one. I don’t know. Let’s see. This… Hmm. Well, you… F.A. and F.O. Stupid games get stupid prizes. A Florida man kills a prowler during an attempted break in. This guy was trying to break into cars in the early hour of the morning. And then the vehicle’s owner actually was sitting behind the wheel of his car. And I guess the guy came and tried to break in his car with him in it. I don’t know if you saw him in it. And there was a man lying in front of the home with gunshot wounds. He was pronounced dead at the scene. His identity wasn’t released. They said that they’re not pressing charges because the evidence clearly shows that the guy was trying to break in the car. Apparently did not notice that this dude was behind the wheel and was going from car to car and was like trying to break into him. And I mean, yeah, you I mean, if someone if you’re sitting in your car and someone’s trying to break into it. Yeah, that’s like a terrifying thing, right? You’re like, oh my gosh. So yeah, that’s lethal force is used. A Florida man avoids arrest by towing his own car to evade police. He tried to avoid getting arrested. Of course, he’s on TikTok. And of course, he made a video about it because everything is horrible. He tried to evade by having his car towed. It’s kind of funny. He, but I don’t think it worked. He’s like, he said they were waiting to arrest me. And yeah, he’s, I don’t know why that like went viral. I don’t know.
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Well, his car was super loud with the exhaust. So, and it sounded like gunfire. So the neighbors had called the police. And so the police were looking for his car was parked out front there.
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But why would you arrest a guy? Cause he’s got a lot of muffler.
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Well, I guess there’s a law or an ordinance or something. I have no idea. But anyway, when the cops arrived, he just towed the car out while they were sleeping.
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I would just get a car with a louder muffler. And then when I know he was sleeping, I would like completely go. I mean, I believe in being good to your neighbors, right? And you don’t be a nuisance. I think that’s just part of being, you know, a nice person and being a grown up. But also at the same time, if you’re going to be dumb, I can match that energy. You know what I mean? Like I can match it and exceed that energy. I would put, oh man, everything. Can I tell you a secret? So I can make my car real loud. And whenever I would drive by Harris signs… In residential… I’m just saying… I got loud car. I got a car that puts hair on your chest. So I’m just saying, maybe it got a little loud. Maybe there’s a little, maybe there’s a little kick. I’m just saying. So I don’t know. I can’t really get too mad over this one. If you’re looking for a convenient, affordable way to access medications and treatments you can trust, All Family Pharmacy has you covered. Whether it’s the flu or parasites, cancer support, or general well-being, All Family Pharmacy’s online service makes getting the medications you need hassle-free. With all family, it’s simple. You can choose the individual medications that best suit your needs or opt for one of their comprehensive treatment packages. designed to give you everything that you need in one convenient order. And every order comes with a doctor’s prescription included. Ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, or any other effective medications, they have it all. And you can get fast shipping with most order shipping in two to three business days. Medications start as low as $3 per capsule, making it really easy to take charge of your health without breaking the bank. No insurance needed. You can skip the paperwork and get the treatments you need directly. Stock up with their emergency preparedness bundles and access over 200 medications online anytime. Visit allfamilypharma.com slash Dana and use code Dana10 for 10% off of your entire order. That’s allfamilypharma.com slash Dana, code Dana10.
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All right, so we were talking about this omnibus because, and I know we’ve got a lot of other stuff to talk about, but forgive me if I’m mad for a moment because we pay a lot in tax, right? We pay a lot in tax and we put up with a lot from the government, do we not? So when we vote and we vote with the energy of, we want lower taxes and no more bad government spending, and then the government’s like, here’s our omnibus. going to spend all your money. That’s exactly what it is. It’s the spend all your money omnibus. That’s all it is. And we have weak leadership in the house. I mean, and it’s true. I mean, I’m not here to like back pat. I had someone tell me I was mean by criticizing Johnson. I’m not here to be best friends with these people. I’m a taxpayer. Damn it. I want a return on the investment of the money that was stolen from me and sanctioned by calling a tax. OK, I want to see what what I’m purchasing. I purchased not having, well, I didn’t purchase it. It was a forced purchase, like a buyback, right? This is not what we voted for. And I’m not here to make these people feel easy in their betrayal of the American people and the principles for which we voted. If people think that that’s how this system works in the United States, then they’re not Americans. Because this is how it works in the United States of America. We’re not serfs. We’re not subjects. So this omnibus, and a lot of people were going off on this, and I know Chip Roy’s been very upset with it. He’s been sputtering mad over it. And He’s, you know, even Rand Paul had said Rand Paul tweeted, I had hoped to see Speaker Johnson grow a spine. But this bill full of pork shows he is a weak, weak man. The debt will continue to grow. Ultimately, the dollar will fail. Democrats are clueless and big government Republicans are complicit. A sad day for America. It is unusual for Rand Paul to be that. forthcoming, right? I mean, not that he’s not a straight shooter, but he’s mad. And to see him be that mad and then actually write it out and tweet it, that’s something. They need to let the whole thing shut down. This is ridiculous. It’s ridiculous. And I mean, ultimately, you… I mean, that’s really what a lot of this was. A lot of this was… Just going along to get along. And I feel like there are too many Republicans that think like that, you know, just going along to get along. I saw some of the other things that were in this omnibus. We got the pay raise, right? I mean, and this was in the CR. There’s a cost of living pay raise. This is over at Punchbowl. A cost of living pay raise for the first time since 2009. But you do have an opt-out from being required to use. Oh, but this is, oh, wait a minute. No, this is just for lawmakers. Sorry. What? Oh, yeah, that’s right. So the CR for members, a pay raise and an Obamacare opt-out. They directly impact lawmakers. It was very quietly added to the CR. Congress, and this again, Punchbowl had this story. They noted that Congress was proactively blocking lawmakers from getting basically pay raises. They call them cost of living adjustments. I don’t think that lawmakers should get a cost of living adjustment because the legislation that they pass or do not fight directly impacts the cost of living. So the cost of living has gone up. It’s the problem of the lawmakers and the voters who keep empowering them. So they had – like previously in these spending bills, they would include language to block this kind of stuff. Other federal employees get pay adjustments, but lawmakers specifically did not. And so now on page 15 of the continuing resolution, there is a provision that modifies the language and actually allows for – I mean, essentially a pay raise. That’s it. They remove any previous language in the draft of the omnibus to block those cost of living adjustments. And this was also, there’s a couple of other places that also discussed this. They’ve blocked these automatic pay raises since 2009. They’re trying to pass this bill, by the way, the stopgap, they’re trying to pass this by Friday night. And so this is going to be a bare knuckle brawl right now until Friday night, maybe Saturday, but Friday night. But they have they’re supposed to receive. There was a law that went into effect in 1989 where members of Congress were supposed to get like cost of living adjustments. Again, I reject that. I think that that’s an incentive for them to not do stupid stuff that increases government spending and affects the cost of living for the rest of us. So that should be an incentive. They don’t get cost of living adjustments. They don’t get to do that for themselves and fix that for themselves. And then the rest of us suffer the consequences of their stupid legislative actions. But they say, well, it’s less appealing for many to run for office. I don’t care. That’s kind of the problem. Everybody wants to run for office. Everybody wants to run for office. People go to school. Then they leave school. They never work in the private sector. And then their whole career is to be an elected official. I think that you have failed as a parent if you’ve raised a child like that. If you’ve raised a child who goes to college, graduates college, and then decides that their whole career is going to be in elected office and they just skip the private sector, you’re a garbage parent. And if this were medieval times, you’d be dragged through the streets and tarred and feathered, along with your basically glorified welfare politico wannabe. I hate this stuff. It’s like monarchy adjacent. I have very strong feelings about this, clearly. But this is – that’s the problem. They’re like, oh, well, you’re de-incentivizing it. It shouldn’t be an incentive. It used to kind of be – it was a burden. When government – when all of this was first established during the times of our founders, this was treated like we look at jury duty today, right? Nobody wants to do jury duty except for you true crime aficionados out there, and I have a couple of you in my family. Nobody wants to – they’re very excited about jury duty. They wish they could do jury duty for everybody. They love it. I have a cousin who adores jury duty. That’s the exception, not the rule. It’s supposed to be a burden. And that’s why you didn’t have people who would just be ensconced in these seats and then treat them as though they were heirlooms that they could pass down to their next familial generation. They didn’t do any of that. But then people decided to sweeten the pot for themselves. And now that’s why you have these people who are like, I’m going to be a lawmaker. That’s my goal in life. That’s supposed to be a consequence of being successful in the private sector is maybe you’ll go and you’ll you’ll serve. in a public capacity for a couple or a few years, depending on what seat you’re going for, Senator House, you’ll go and you’ll serve for a couple of years and then you go back to your occupation. You go back to your regular life. That’s how it used to be. But then it all changed. It all changed. This bill is 1,547 pages long. That’s how, and they just got it. What was it, last night? Night before last, they got it. So they have to read it Understand it. Draft amendments. Have those gone over and then try to change all in the span of just a few days. Wasn’t there a promise with that that lawmakers would have X amount of time to read and actually process proposals like this? Yeah, Congress, I will say they’ve been inserting provisions into these bills to block races from going into effect because they feared that there was going to be a lot of political blowback from voters. Somehow Johnson allowed that to happen here or he allowed it to not happen this time. They took it out and he allowed that to happen. I mean, I. This is wild. And then the people who force the rest of us into Obamacare, they get to opt out, but we don’t. They get to opt out, but we don’t. Anyone who thinks that Obamacare is a good thing, let me tell you, I got forced into Obamacare. I had great insurance. Now I have some of the horrible insurance. I mean, I we because they don’t they don’t cover like they didn’t cover one of my kids allergist. They didn’t cover a specialist. There were all kinds of stuff. And I don’t know anybody. I know people who have actual I have a dear friend who’s dealing with a serious health issue. And it’s been going on for quite a long time. It’s like a lifelong ailment that she has. And I remember they discovered it right about the time that Obamacare was going into effect back in 2010. And she was terrified. And she had every right to be because she lost access to her specialist. Lived in St. Louis. Lost access to her specialist. Had to go find another subpar doctor. And then when things would change, she would lose this or have to do that. And it was… It’s been a nightmare for people who had actual legitimate, decent insurance. It’s a nightmare. Anyone who tells you otherwise either lives in their parents’ basement or they just… They’re a Martian. I don’t know how the hell else, because there’s no way to defend it. People who are responsible with their finances and themselves, nobody defends it. And lawmakers in this omnibus are opting, are allowing themselves to opt out. So they’ll pass legislation that the rest of us have to follow and the rest of us have to abide by, else we get a fine. And We have to live with it. Lorraine notes this. This is going to really churn your butter. Congress is about to give themselves, again, it’s a 3.8% increase in the cost of living in this adjustment. And that’s a number also that Bloomberg Business has reported, Punchbowl News. Military retirees, people who served our country, who put their lives on the line, they get 2.5%. Yeah. They get less. They get less. And Mike Johnson allowed this to happen. Allowed it to happen. And there are people who give him cover. Astounding to me. They’re the same people who gave Kevin McCarthy cover until it was no longer advantageous for them to give McCarthy cover. And then they did a 180 and pretended that they never liked him. I remember who those people were.
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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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So the Dow tumbles more than 260 points for a nine-day losing streak. It’s longest since I was born. What do you mean, wow? You should be like, wow, you’re like 10? Wow, you’re such a baby. Because I know how long ago that was. They said longest ever. This is crazy. They entered the history books. First nine-day losing streak. The 30-stock average slid over 267 points, 61%. Ooh, I don’t like any of that. Walmart employees are now wearing body cameras in some stores. Hmm. That is smart. Yeah. I mean, they have to. That’s sad. They said that it’s technology that’s being used a lot in law enforcement, but it’s now being expanded into retail to help deter conflict and prevent theft. So does this mean we’re going to see fewer of those entertaining fighting videos in Walmart? Because I felt like Walmart was coming for Waffle House’s belt. You know what I’m saying?
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Fewer or more?
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Are we going to see more or fewer fights?
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If there are more body cameras, I imagine we’re going to see more. Dude, epic.
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Just saying. All right. It’s the little things that make me happy. Come on. Oh, my gosh. Okay. So you guys know I’ve been following the story of these astronauts that were stuck, right? They were stuck at the International Space Station. Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams, they were supposed to only be in space for eight days. They left back in June. It was supposed to be an eight-day trip. And now it looks like it was they were supposed to come back in February with the help of SpaceX. But now SpaceX needs more time to prepare the capsule. So they got some bad news yesterday because they need more time to prepare this capsule for liftoff. Now it got pushed back again. It’s scheduled no earlier than late March. So they said they considered using a different capsule to fly up the replacement crew to keep up flights, you know, on schedule. But they decided they were going to wait for the new capsule. So they got to stay there until March. That’s crazy. Can you imagine being stuck in that for that that long? I can’t. I mean, that’s something else. Also, a couple other things here. I think froze. I’m so done with Google and Google Docs. We’re out of time.
SPEAKER 04 :
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SPEAKER 05 :
I’ve been fascinated by this. When he went to… When he was in Paris at the reopening of the Notre Dame, after they had the big fire and it just ravaged the building and it took five years. I can’t believe they did all that they did in only five years, if I’m being honest. If you saw pictures of before and after, like the destruction from the fire and then after, it’s pretty unbelievable. And when he was there, he was meeting with all the world leaders and they were just… Am I reading too much into it because it felt like they were relieved, right? It felt like there was, oh, we know that this is a sentient president and we can talk to him. Well, there was also a very much – a really highly analyzed clip. And they were in Paris. I don’t know what building they were in. And the door opens and he walks in. And the British Prince William, the Prince of Wales, is there. And I don’t really get into the whole monarchy thing. You know, there’s a lot of British culture that I like, like the hunting and the tweed and all that stuff. But I don’t get into the monarchy part. However, I have to say that I thought the Prince of Wales meeting with Trump and the rapport that they had between them, it was really refreshing to see. And I thought – because Charles is the king and that’s the Prince of Wales’ dad. And he’s like kind of a fruity environmentalist, right? He’s sort of like, yes, you know, could the climate change? And he goes on and on and on about it. Well, his son had given a quote recently where he’s like, I’m not going to lecture people about climate. I thought, ooh, what? And he was so – when he met Trump, like if you look at – Other British leaders, when they would meet Trump, they’re all like very it’s previously was almost kind of like they were a little snotty. I thought the late queen was real nice when she met him. She’s very, you know, she’s a very proper person, was a very proper person. But I thought it was it was really it was very refreshing and very different to see the rapport between them. the body language and the Prince of Wales putting him at ease and Trump putting the Prince of Wales at ease. And they got along very well. And the Prince of Wales was, uh, They were complimenting him, so many people, for how well he handled it because they have seen how previous British officials and even other Europeans, other European lawmakers, when you meet Trump, you can read the body language and you can kind of tell like they’re not really smiling or they’re only smiling with their mouth and not their eyes. And it’s just, you know, it looks forced. It did not look forced at all. Like they looked completely at ease with one another. And a lot of people were saying it really set the tone for the evening and that it was – I read – I think I have it here. I think it was either at the Guardian or Globe and Mail, maybe Daily Mail. But they were saying that it kind of – it sort of broke the tension for everybody there the rest of the night. That’s pretty big, right? That’s kind of like his – that event was sort of his reintroduction. Back to European leaders, British leaders after, you know, hit the election. So it was nice to see that. Now, I bring this up because I feel like this is kind of another representation of right and left. So the Prince of Wales was being complimented by many people in the UK for how he how statesman like he was and how he got along so well with Trump and he put him at ease and they got along really well. And it was evident in the video and the photos. Well, all the leftists decided to start attacking him. Like, how dare the Prince of Wales meet with Trump? Like, who else was going to? Why would he not? Right. I mean, if they view him as being like a figurehead of leadership, why would they not? Like, shut up. Why would you not meet with Trump? But then, wait, there’s more. So, you know, his ginger brother, right? And I love redheads, by the way, but I do mean it in a mean way with him. I’ve always wanted red hair. So his ginger spare brother, right? And his game show Z-list wife. Did you see the headline that came out? My jaw hit the floor. So apparently, I guess because they live in the United States, they think that they’re a Duke and Duchess of the United States. We don’t have a monarchy, right? Can you just check in? Nope. We fought a war over there, right? We sure did. Okay. So here’s from one British paper said, Prince Harry and Meghan are shocked after Prince William’s latest move. They were left hurt and angry after Prince William’s appalling behavior because he met with Donald Trump. And they were mad that Trump, quote, gushed, end quote, over William. They were livid. Angry and betrayed. Their source, which is them, said it was appalling. Oh, wait, there’s more. They also said that they’re shocked and terrified. Because remember, Trump was like, how did he get in here? He’s been on drugs. There have been people of lesser stature who have been denied entry to the U.S., who are famous, who cannot get entry to the United States because of previous publicly known drug use and or drug convictions. That’s the thing that will actually not – that will get you blocked from coming into the U.S., And there are examples. There are a ton of publications out there that have had all these examples of people who were like way less than this hairy dude. And they were barred from entry. So then it came out. Do you remember that those two made a donation to Ashley Biden’s this thing that Ashley Biden was doing? They made a hefty donation through their charitable foundation to Ashley Biden. And it’s very interesting. Like right when that donation to Ashley Biden, the president’s daughter, happened. the details of Harry’s visa were locked down. Interesting. Isn’t that interesting, Kane? I’m sure that the two had nothing to do with each other. And so Trump has, you know, he said, like, why is he here? How did he get in here? He’s talked about it before. So now they said they’re shocked and terrified. And they were they said it was in a, quote, appalling betrayal that William met with Trump. Those two grifters. And I’m not I’m just quoting the Spotify president who said that they were blanking grifters. Or was it Netflix president? I can’t remember. Everybody’s gone at them. Yeah. They said that they were blanking grifters. Then they had a hundred million dollar deal with Netflix to make this stupid show called Polo. It was a documentary looking at Polo and they said it was boring and tedious. And it’s like, so I’m sorry, but that’s like some bougie stuff because them horses is expensive. Okay. And then she she apparently did a cooking show that no one’s ever going to see the light of day. She had this super big deal with Spotify where she did like what seven or eight crap episodes and that was it. And then she misused like a couple like one of the word archetyped as a way to title her. I don’t know. And then you got him. All he does is bitch and moan that he’s not the Prince of Wales. And they’re super commie. They’re communists. They’re not leftists. These two are communists. They’re the ones who want to lecture you about gun laws. He was the one who came over here and said that we have two free speech. Our speech is two free. And they sign everything to Duke and Duchess. Like we recognize that here in the U.S. So they’re livid because they see and Juan’s getting some of this video ready. I mean, they got along. And I don’t think he’s like a super conservative, but I think he’s a professional. He was doing his job. But I read so many pieces where they were like, oh, that like broke the tension for the night. Everyone was put at ease. It was a lovely event. That’s a win-win, right? And of course, you got the two communist grifters that try to be the Duke and Duchess of America. I think at least Wallace Simpson had a little bit more self-awareness that are freaking out because he got along with Trump and Trump is looking at Harry’s history of drug use. Like, why did he how did he get a visa to come in the United States? Oh, maybe because they donated to Ashley Biden. I don’t know. I came. What is wrong with us? What is so bad about the Prince of Wales meeting the president-elect of the United States? I give up. It was nice. I like to see people get along. I like to see people smiling and I like to see them get along, especially at Christmas, especially something like this. I mean, it’s a restoration of a church for crying out loud, right? How fitting that you have the reconciliation of the president-elect of the United States and European leaders and British leaders in a church here right before Christmas. Reconciliation. Isn’t that nice? And then you got the grifter, the spare and the zealous girlfriend out there or wife out there in California were betrayed. Didn’t they betray their family by like calling them racist and making up all the stuff about them and nonstop poo talking them every chance they get? Good heavens. Enough. Can they go back to Canada? Can Canada take them, you know, as like an apology for Trudeau? on us can you take we guys take them back because we don’t want them here we’re done but i just thought that like the pictures they were nice pictures this is like one of the and i know i’m talking maybe a little bit too much about it but i i actually felt like i was in a good mood when i watched this everybody was getting along in a church right I almost sound, Cain, I almost sound optimistic. Hold up. I got to be cynical again. This is too much like happy. This is like too much positivity. Can’t have that. Golly. Merry Christmas. No, we got to get away from this happy stuff. What in the world is happening here? All right.
SPEAKER 06 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Are you looking to turn your creativity into a career? At Berkeley College, your talents combined with their teaching to prepare you for exciting fields like graphic design, interior design, marketing, applied media, artificial intelligence, and other in-demand areas with programs and professors to help you reach your full potential. Berkeley gives you the flexibility to study on campus in New York or New Jersey, online or both. You’ll have support every step of the way, from tutoring to career services and beyond. At Berkeley College, your potential is their promise.
SPEAKER 02 :
Welcome to Pro Tips for the Pros, brought to you by Floor & Decor Parsippany. In this series, we’ll explore essential advice for professional contractors to deliver outstanding renovation results. Let’s dive in. Before starting any renovation project, take the time to plan meticulously. Assess the customer’s needs, budget, and timeline to ensure a smooth and successful renovation process. Thank you for joining us for this pro tip on planning thorough renovations. Stay tuned for more expert advice, brought to you by Floor & Decor Parsippany.
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