SPEAKER 06 : 0:00

Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.

SPEAKER 05 : 0:06

It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.

SPEAKER 01 : 0:15

Y’all, I’m going to tell you what. Excuse me. Allergies. Fire Disney employee allegedly hacked the menu system to falsely claim certain foods did not contain peanuts, says a lawsuit. Michael Scherer was fired in June for alleged misconduct, alleged, says the suit. His termination was contentious and not amicable. And this disgruntled former Disney employee is being accused of hacking into the menu creating software that they use to falsely indicate certain food items do not contain peanuts. He worked at Walt Disney World as a menu production manager. While he was there, he would create and publish the menus for their entire restaurant portfolio. So he got fired from his conduct. And apparently… They thought that initially the changes were benign because they noticed over a three-month period that the menu prices were changing because he continued to access the software from a personal device after he was fired. And so he would change the menu prices, and then he added profanity. And they said those changes were more benign, but then he made changes that threatened public health, like altering the allergen information on the menus. So, man, that’s like a level of… meanness and spite and pettiness that is heretofore unforeseen. That’s supremely evil. Wow. That’s pretty amazing. A Florida man broke into Mark Zuckerberg’s yacht and began throwing all of his stuff in the water. How do you break into his yacht? And why is his hair so much longer and he wears weird clothes now? Yeah, I don’t know. Technically, that’s piracy, isn’t it? Dude, he’s a pirate. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum. He went to his mega yacht and He – so the – I can’t – it’s not really a boat. It’s a yacht, I guess. The yacht that he acquired is a 387-foot mega yacht feed ship, and it was for a Russian oligarch, and he got it. And it’s called the – no, I guess – I don’t know what it’s – I don’t know what the name of it is. This is mega yacht. It was like $300 or $350 million. to make it. And this guy broke into it. You would, how do you break in? How does like some rando break into your super yacht? Like how to, because if you’re at a dock, those things are pretty well protected. I’m just curious as to how, anyway. He named the vessel Launchpad. So with Launchpad, he also brought a supporting vessel called Dapple. Because, you know, when you got big boats like this, you have to have a supporting vessel with it. It’s crazy. And apparently the guy just like was able to just like board it right on the marina, was able to just get right on the on the yacht right in the marina. And that’s that’s how it went. And he started throwing all of his stuff overboard into the water. He was promptly arrested. I just don’t know what he thought he was going to get into. Just random items. Apparently he was under the influence and he was out of compliance with legal requirements from a previous arrest. So a man in his britches was accused of destroying and stealing atoms from a Lake County mini golf course. Lake County Sheriff’s Office. I swear to you, it’s called Smuggler’s Cove Adventure Golf. Well, he was in his smuggler’s britches, that’s for sure. A 30-year-old Francisco Mayorga. He was booked in a Lee County jail. He stole two boxes of ice cream bars, coupon envelopes, cups, and a sign. He was walking around the business damaging random items, including a napkin dispenser, wooden gate, removing a fire extinguisher, busted a door open. When they asked if he was alone, he replied, nothing to deputies. He’s facing multiple charges, burglary, just a bunch. I’m not going to read all of them. And he also gave false ID. And he’s in his britches. Did I say that? Because what is up with that? Like, stop it. I don’t even know. Did I ever tell you about the guy named Lucky who shot a man in the butt and chased another with a screwdriver at Waffle House before he was arrested with MDMA? I know, I’m telling you. So, Lucky Wood, apparently that Lucky. This is Escambia County. This dude, he was from Pensacola, a Florida man. He shot a man in the butt, chased another man around a Waffle House with a screwdriver. His name is… I feel like at some point you have too many letters in your name. DeQuantaris Jamarl Lucky. Actually, I think I did that one good. Okay, yeah. He was arrested, accused of attempted homicide, aggravated assault, distribution of schedule of a narcotic, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, a whole bunch of stuff. He pulled the gun out and shot a man, and then the bullet hit the ground and ricocheted into the man’s butt. And then the man who had been shot in the butt ran into the Waffle House. Everyone started running to the back of the business. Everybody was losing their minds in the Waffle House. Then he tried to run out the front door. Lucky chased him with a screwdriver. And they found all kinds of drugs on him. So he was taken into custody. I mean, you cannot make these stories are crazy. Let’s see. This is what else we got. Well, I got more. We also have the Uber driver who was a Florida Uber driver who was charged with stealing Halloween decorations and eating people’s food and spitting on a customer. This is in Bartow, Florida. He’s facing multiple criminal charges. He spit in a customer’s face, stole food from another order and took Halloween decorations from a customer’s yard during a late night delivery. Alexandra Aguilar, 29, was arrested, remains in custody. And it began when a female customer placed an Uber Eats order. And this is a chick that did this, by the way. She removed food from she like apparently the customer saw her take food out of the bag. And she stole signs from other people’s yards and that. And then when one customer saw her stealing from their yard, she confronted her. And that’s when Aguilar spit in her face. So she’s in the pokey. She’s being arrested. Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER 05 : 6:07

What would you do if an Uber Eats person spit in your face when they gave you the food?

SPEAKER 01 : 6:13

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SPEAKER 03 : 7:26

For Puerto Rico, where I’m in my home state of Delaware, they’re good, decent, honorable people. The only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters. His demonization is unconscionable, and it’s un-American.

SPEAKER 01 : 7:41

Oh, my. Well, hey, what’s up, garbage? Hey, garbage. How y’all garbage doing out there? Yeah. It’s a garbage Wednesday for garbage people. It’s good to be with you, garbage people. Go garbage. Yeah. Remember the garbage pill kids? Oh, yeah. Man, they were the best. I’m telling you what, I think I still have some of those cards in my mom’s basement somewhere. I’m not even lying. It’s like garbage pill kids need to come back today of all days. Welcome, garbage. Dana Lash here with you at the top of this garbage first hour on this garbage Wednesday. And I mean, I’m just saying I feel like Joe Biden is a plant. I just don’t know how else to put it. So his remarks last night. The way his supporters, his, I guess, like inner circle are trying to spin this is such a chef’s kiss. I got a post coming out at you later today, Schrodinger’s apostrophe, which we’re going to talk about. Welcome to the garbage program, you garbage people. So he was saying, and I mean, the way that they are trying to defend this, there’s literally just no other real, there’s no other, there’s no way you can defend it. Biden just absolutely stepped in it when he was making this remark saying that All of President Trump’s supporters are garbage. That’s literally exactly what he said. I mean, we heard it. Can I hear it one more time? Because I know it is marble mouthed. But can I just hear it one more time? Just it’s a quick cut. 14 seconds.

SPEAKER 03 : 9:17

Just let’s go where I’m in my home state of Delaware. People. The only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters. You know, he almost said Puerto Rico where I’m from.

SPEAKER 01 : 9:29

He almost said that. You heard it. So this is why I wanted to play it again. Because his his well, defenders are out there trying to say that that’s not what he said. In fact, they’re trying to argue that Biden actually meant nothing. There’s an apostrophe. It’s the dumbest thing I think I’ve ever seen in such a long time. They’re trying to say, no, it’s an apostrophe. One of the guys who just signed a contract, what’s his name? Oh, some dude I don’t care about. He’s over at MSNBC now. They took the quote out of context, and the White House rewrote the transcript to hide what he said. So what they’re saying is the only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters, and they try to write apostrophe S. Where? Now, this is where being a nerd is fun. So let’s break that down, shall we? Let’s have a grammar lesson for Marxist blank holes, shall we? So here’s the problem with that, right? Because it’s just, it doesn’t make any sense, not even in that context. In fact, it makes it worse. Adding to this imaginary grammatical stupidity, are they saying it’s just one supporter’s garbage? Because supporter, S-U-P-P-O-R-T-E-R apostrophe S, well, that’s discussing the garbage. So he’s saying I see one of his supporters garbage is what he’s saying. If if you believe the White House transcript and they rewrote the comment, they’re trying to say, no, no, no. He’s it’s just one supporters garbage, guys. It was it was one supporters garbage. So that was the transcript that they came out with. So even so did is it just one supporters garbage like one in particular, like which one of Donald Trump supporters has their garbage in Joe Biden’s line of sight? Or did they mess up the rewrite and mean plural supporters, which would be S apostrophe S garbage? But then did they also mess that up because it’s properly S apostrophe S before a consonant? It is only apostrophe S when it’s a plural if it’s in front of another S. That’s the only time. So they messed either way. It’s foobarred. They foobarred it so hard it’s ridiculous. There’s no other way to put it. So which is it? You dip wads. I mean, Tim Walz’s description of J.D. Vance here is completely applicable concerning the person who decided to grammatically incorrectly rewrite the transcript and make it worse. You literally just made it worse. And that’s the correct usage because they actually did. So it’s either one of Donald Trump’s supporters who’s throwing garbage on Joe Biden’s lawn or it’s plural supporters, but they foobarred it because they’re morons. I mean, which is it? Which is it? Because see, there’s no possessive here. He’s not talking about the garbage belonging to a supporter. He’s talking about supporters, period. That’s what he’s discussing. Supporters, period. There is no way to walk away from this. And what gets me As they’ll make up all this stuff. Well, Trump supposedly said, per Michael Flynn, who per somebody, per this person, says the source. They say stuff like that and hammer that all day long. Joe Biden is literally on camera in front of the nation calling half of the country garbage. And they’re like, what? No, there’s an apostrophe there. I have not seen such crazy grammatical analysis since Bill Clinton couldn’t define what his was. Remember is? Remember that whole thing? Bill Clinton and is. I mean, there hasn’t been. I mean, they have garbage grammar and there hasn’t been that much, you know, that much discussion of it since Bill Clinton with the defined is. You guys remember that, right? Let’s rewind to September 13th, 1998, when Bill Clinton replied, it depends on what the meaning of the word is, is. Because he was asked whether or not he was getting it on with Monica Lewinsky. And he had said there is no improper relationship. And then they were asking, well, wait a minute. Is there something going on between you? There is no improper relationship. And he goes, quote, it depends on what the meaning of the word is. If is means is and never has been, that is one thing. That’s his direct actual quote. Chef’s kiss. Am I right?

SPEAKER 05 : 14:28

Kamala’s speechwriter.

SPEAKER 01 : 14:30

Dude, it’s like Kamala’s always haunted them. She’s haunted them forever. It’s pretty amazing. So it’s Schrodinger’s apostrophe. It’s exactly what is happening here. This is just crazy. So they’re trying to rewrite this. But then you also had – here’s this. What is it? This is what – is this Josh Shapiro trying to say, trying to defend it or trying to spin it? Didn’t you drop that in Slack? No, I didn’t. OK, OK.

SPEAKER 05 : 14:55

So that was a screenshot of their first version of the spin yesterday on this.

SPEAKER 01 : 15:00

Yeah. White House says Biden was referring to hateful rhetoric at Madison Square Garden rally as garbage. Well, he said his supporters, he didn’t say hateful rhetoric. I mean, I think it’s adorable that you guys are trying to, like, edit this. But, hey, you guys said he’s the most sentient person who’s ever lived. He is the smartest genius. ever and so these are his words this is what he meant uh dems drools you can’t have it all the ways you don’t get it all the ways he called half the country garbage suck it that’s exactly what happened own it run with it that’s what happened suck it up he said it now you got to deal with it and so i mean i don’t know it these they’re bizarre explanation I don’t think anybody’s buying. Are you buying the apostrophe? I’m not buying it because it doesn’t make any sense. It literally it doesn’t make any sense.

SPEAKER 05 : 15:50

He’s trying to assign the garbage as something that belongs to his supporters as opposed to calling the supporters garbage. And it’s it is it’s a sad attempt at cleaning up, you know, dementia Biden.

SPEAKER 01 : 16:02

Yep. And so, I mean, let me ask this other question. Is he a plant? Because I’ve never seen anyone try to torpedo somebody’s campaign harder than Joe Biden works against Kamala Harris. How do you how does one do this? How does it happen? I mean, first, everyone was called deplorables, then Nazis. And now Biden’s like garbage. But journalists are trying to spin it. And they’ve been trying to save her campaign from this. I mean, that’s those were his exact words. And Trump responded to it. And then Kamala, what is Kamala going to do? How do you deal with this? There was, where’s the audio? She finally did, she finally did reply to it. This is audio, oh gosh, 26,500. Audio soundbite 26. Let’s roll with this first.

SPEAKER 07 : 16:52

President Biden said this comment last night about garbage.

SPEAKER 02 : 16:57

Listen, I think that first of all, he clarified his comments. Did he? Let me be clear. I strongly disagree with any criticism of people based on who they vote for.

SPEAKER 01 : 17:11

This is the most she’s ever disagreed with him in her life. And barely. It’s barely. She’s like barely. So she thinks he clarified it, but then she still felt like she had to distance herself there. That was interesting. She was asked again, are you concerned about the impact that his garbage comment has on your campaign? Audio sound by 27.

SPEAKER 07 : 17:30

Are you concerned about what impact this may have on voters, on the divisiveness of the election, and whether or not it’s going to dissuade some people from supporting you because of your affiliation with the president and this administration?

SPEAKER 02 : 17:42

I’ve been very clear with the American public I respect the challenges that people face. I respect the fact that we all have so much more in common than what separates us, and that most people want a president that understands that, that gets that, and approaches their role of leadership. That’s why I’ve been very clear. From my earliest years as a prosecutor, I’ve never asked anyone, are they a Democrat or a Republican?

SPEAKER 01 : 18:11

She says to voters who are offended by the garbage comment. Audio soundbite 28.

SPEAKER 04 : 18:16

Do you sympathize with any voters who do feel offended by or insulted by the garbage comment?

SPEAKER 02 : 18:31

I am running for president of the United States. I will be traveling to three states today to do what I have been doing throughout, which is talking with the American people about the fact that, first of all, I get it in terms of the concerns they have about challenges like the price of groceries. Second, my highest priority is to address that and to lift them up around their ambitions, their aspirations.

SPEAKER 01 : 18:56

I mean, this is Washington Post. Did Biden call Trump supporters garbage? It comes down to an apostrophe. You are morons and you deserve to be. Oh, my gosh. May the good Lord above put a hand over my mouth today because I am just done.

SPEAKER 05 : 19:10

And now all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.

SPEAKER 01 : 19:17

All right, so starting with, let’s see, a 105-year-old woman says that the secret to long life is drinking Guinness. I feel like this is a very scientific analysis. This woman’s a genius. She probably is also not only the oldest, but… One of the oldest people in the world, but one of the most genius people in the world. 105 years old, Kathleen Hennings. She had a pint of Guinness. And when she said that she drinks Guinness and that’s what it is. She had her birthday party with fellow friends, residents and supportive staff at her care home. She got a hamper. What is that? Of the famous Stout brand. What is a hamper of beer? I guess they just gave her a whole bunch of stuff. I guess it’s a box. She had pint glasses and apron chocolates, all kinds of Guinness. And so she says she and she drinks like the chocolate looking stuff because she’s hardcore. She’s born in 1919. I actually agree with her. I think she’s on to something, Kane. It’s a yeah, yeah, yeah. Very hardcore. Very official. The Colorado Secretary of State is a moron who posted the spreadsheet with voting system passwords. All public. Literally, they were side by side. She posted a spreadsheet to the website that had a hidden tab that showed all of the voting system passwords. In Colorado, Rocky Mountain High. There you go. I mean, I don’t think it just look at this stuff. Puerto Rico’s biggest newspaper. Of course, they endorse Kamala Harris. Of course they did. They endorsed the vice president. yesterday in fact i first saw this i think i first saw this come out like yesterday it was like early yesterday evening uh and it’s their second endorsement ever well that’s fine because usa today and washington post aren’t aren’t doing any kind of endorsements because they think it’s biased and they’re correct uh and then also we’ve got a few other things here the uh okay yeah uh uh This person, a random voter, some of these people, like I’ve gotten all of these protests where these people are just nuts. And they all have like, I don’t want to play it because it’s just, you guys know that they’re crazy. Arizona momentum has shifted towards the GOP. Kamala Harris is pulling money out of North Carolina. We’re going to get into some of this here coming up. She’s pulled money out of North Carolina and now is looking to spread it in some of the states where she is under the most threat. And… SCOTUS is not going to allow RFK Jr. to take his name from two states’ ballots. There’s an ABC station that mistakenly aired an election result test during a Formula One race. I guess they just filled in the blanks. But they, yeah, WNEP, Scranton, Pennsylvania, apparently they posted something and they said they came out and said they were testing their lower third because it was like on the lower third. And they were trying to act like Harris beat Trump. I guess those are the numbers that they just put in. And they said they mistakenly, they aired this, they showed, they issued a statement about it. And they said, note from WNEP, election test results mistakenly shown on air. The test results aired for several minutes during coverage of Formula One racing. Juan’s showing you what it looks like. I’m just saying. Yeah, I don’t know. It seems kind of – why would you have to put any numbers in? Why couldn’t you just have 111 or 000? Why did you actually have to put numbers in? Because either way, it doesn’t matter, right? If it’s a test and you’re just like making it up, why did you have to put any numbers in?

SPEAKER 05 : 22:59

Save that screenshot, Juan. We’ll see you.

SPEAKER 01 : 23:01

Yeah, for real. Save that screenshot. I don’t know. They said they were randomly generated test results sent out to help news organizations make sure that their equipment was working properly in advance of election night. I already voted. I’ve been tracking my vote, making sure it was tallied. It was. I’m watching all, I watch my whole household’s votes like a stalker, like a creepy stalker every day, multiple times a day. I was checking because Texas has it where you can monitor everything. And, um, I was making sure that everything, you know, everything counted and been watching it. I think you need to go on early vote for sure. And then if your state has a way, and it should be up on your Secretary of State’s website. I mean, it should be not super difficult to find. Find out and then track your ballot, track your vote. Do you think this was an accident, Kayne? I hate everything, so I’m suspicious of everything, too.

SPEAKER 05 : 24:05

I’m willing to believe that. I’m willing to believe it. Deep, deep, deep down, though, I don’t. But I’m willing to believe it.

SPEAKER 01 : 24:13

I’m going to get really mad if, say, the left decided, you know what, let’s really actually cheat a lot. I think it’s very difficult to cheat in a decentralized election. However, not if you mess with the census and you try to reapportion seats and influence due to fluctuations in either it’s like in migration in the United States between citizens, citizens going from state to state or people coming into the country illegally. Yeah. Just saying. I mean, the fix could already be in because of that. I’m very curious to see where it’s close. We’re not going to know. Everybody’s guessing Tuesday. You know why? Because polls are garbage. And even if the polls are right, nobody believes them. Nobody believes them because it’s confirmation bias. People want to have their belief affirmed. They want to see it represented. So that’s why none of this matters. Nobody knows until Tuesday. And anyone who’s telling you otherwise is a moron that is grifting off of you. Nobody knows. They have no clue. But I don’t… I don’t know. I just… The thing that makes this weird for me, that WNEP thing, is why do you got to put the numbers in? Like if you’re just doing a test, I mean, Juan, you’re running the elements and all that. You can put whatever you want in the lower third. You could put 0, 0% if you wanted to. You don’t have to have like 52%. You could put… You don’t need numbers in there, right? So then… it makes me wonder why they put numbers in. If it’s just a test, right? How does that work? I don’t know. They said the number shouldn’t have appeared on the screen. Wong ads in Slack. There’s something called preview, LOL. Maybe they didn’t have preview. I don’t know. I just, this stuff is what makes people suspicious. Recklessness makes people suspicious.

SPEAKER 05 : 26:09

Also, they wouldn’t have kept it up for as long as they did. How long was it up there for? I guess according to that story, it was like a couple minutes. Jeez. So if that’s the case, then that also seems to be a little bit more than just a mistake.

SPEAKER 01 : 26:27

Yeah. I don’t know how long it stayed up there, but it’s just really weird to me. It’s super… I don’t know. There’s a number of different ways they could have done that without putting the numbers in. As Juan was saying, they actually have a preview and you can look and you can see. It’s just weird that this was the way that they chose to handle it. I’m not buying the excuse. I’m just not buying it.

SPEAKER 06 : 26:52

Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.