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Hey, this is Todd Herman, host of The Todd. Herman Show. You might have heard me on Rush Limbaugh Show as a regular fill in for about eight years. I now do a show out of the High mountains of free America. ’cause you know, I got exiled from Seattle on the FBI’s radar. Look back at nine 11 in the attacks and formed by what we now know about FBI bosses, and how many metric, tons of utter trash to human beings eat in a lifetime. By the way, what is that doing to our bodies? Check out The Todd Herman Show every day on Apple Podcasts or wherever you gets your podcasts.
1 (32s):
Dana Lash’s of Absurd Truth podcast sponsored by KelTec.
2 (37s):
It’s his laugh mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida, man.
3 (46s):
Good heavens. Okay, so this Flo, let’s start with this one. A Florida, lemme actually, lemme do this one. The Florida man who tried to swim back to the US from Canada. There’s some that are, I got a couple that are a little inappropriate, so I’m, I thought I was gonna get real brave. This Florida man, disoriented Florida man under the influence, tried to swim back, is from CBS News. Tried to swim back across the Detroit River from Canada. Good Lord. On this was just y or Yeah, yesterday the crew was notified, police were notified about a person swimming across the Detroit River.
3 (1m 33s):
They had to send out a boat search for him. They did get him. They pulled him up on the boat. They threw him a life ring. He was an American citizen from Florida trying to get back into the us. He seemed disoriented and under the influence, he didn’t have any physical injuries, so he was taking a store transfer to an EMS unit. I’ve never heard of that. Kind of, I’m sure they happen, but, but wasn, that’s a new kind of crossing. There’s a definitely a new kind of, this one was from yesterday that I didn’t get to a Florida man stumbled upon an SUV on top of a dumpster. I, I don’t even know how that happens, but that’s what happened. We had this yesterday and I didn’t have time to get to it. A Florida man named Scott Greenberg stumbled upon an SUV resting like almost perfectly.
3 (2m 17s):
The one of the back wheels was off of the dump, like on top of a dumpster. Like the dumpster top was closed and this SUV was on the top. Wow. And I’m looking at, it was parked at a construction site and it didn’t look like there was like a bridge or anything where it could have driven off. I have no idea how this gotta been. I
2 (2m 34s):
Have a, an idea.
3 (2m 35s):
Okay. Well, he, it was at a construction site. they said the SUV was literally on top of the dumpster. Now they used a forklift apparently to put it up there, but they didn’t tell anybody for the longest time. And everyone, I mean, like for a whole day people were trying to figure out how this happened. But that’s, you know, they got it on video. It’s on video, but it was on top of the dumpster. And they used a for, they used a, a forklift can do that. Like it had to be a pretty big forklift then, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. Forklift operating. No
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Doubt. I I, I guarantee you he was probably parked somewhere where the cons in, where it was in the way of construction. And so these guys are like, ah, I’m gonna show this guy
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Good. This is from a website called Motor Biscuit. This story, this Florida man, he imagine that you’re on the beach and you come across a deserted car just parked and it’s sunset’s beautiful out. But there’s, you know, you can’t really take in the view because you’re distracted by this mysterious knocking coming from the trunk of the car. This was in Monroe County, Florida. As it turned out, this Lincoln Continental is parked at a beach in the Florida Keys. This dude brought his drugs to the beach, presumably to do them, and then somehow locked his own self in hi into his own trunk.
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3-year-old Rob Moore. He, when the sheriff’s office showed up, they were telling the person, they were telling people, get outta the car, and he literally couldn’t because he was locked in his own trunk. And he said that he was hunting for his lost keys when he somehow managed to fall inside of the trunk, which, which closed and then locked him inside. So his keys were still missing. He was just gonna go to the beach and smoke some weed. Apparently, you know, Florida man. And he got a citation for possessing drugs and paraphernalia at they motor biscuit says if the car had been three years newer, the they would’ve had an emergency trunk release. It was a 97 Lincoln Continental. The 2000 and up started having the emer because, but wasn, my first thought, like, how was there no emergency trunk release?
3 (4m 39s):
Also, couldn’t you just kick out the backseat? I? think I mean don don’t know. So just, wow, that’s lost his keys. How do you look for your keys so hard in your trunk that you fall in it and then it closes behind you and locks you in there. But yeah, but he only had like pot on him, apparently. Can you get so high that, that happens?
KelTec (4m 59s):
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1 (6m 5s):
We have a huge hole in our nation’s roof. The Watchdog on Wallstreet podcast with Chris Markowski. Every day Chris helps unpack the connection between politics and the economy and how it affects your wallet. There should be only one priority for our lawmakers. America is spending $3 billion a day in paying off our own interest. You only need to be voting for candidates who can address this problem. Whether it’s happening in DC or down on Wall Street, it’s affecting you financially. Be informed. Check out the watch start on Wall Street podcast with Chris Murkowski on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.
6 (6m 36s):
President Trump is targeted for assassination. Again, Hezbollah terrorists get an explosive message on their pagers and Hillary Clinton is back and demanding that the media get even more negative about Donald Trump. I’m Greg Rumbas. Join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for The Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad and crazy news of the day. And hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow The Three, Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.
3 (7m 10s):
This, do we have this audio? This is the California mayor, or no, sorry, south Portland Mayor Misha Pride. They were listening to residents and they ended up, it’s funny because the, the, the main Democrat lead leader didn’t wanna lower property taxes, and then she got hit with two property tax liens. But this, this South Portland mayor told seniors that they needed to take out a reverse mortgage to avoid the city’s sharp increase in property taxes. Is that unbelievable? We have this, by the way, I don’t know, did we? I mean, I thought we did, but they, it was the, the residents were saying, well, our taxes are going up.
3 (7m 56s):
It’s making it more difficult to afford, you know, basic daily things. And their response was, we’ll just take out one of those Reverse Mortgages that Tom Selleck tells you about all the time. And those commercials, God seriously though, they, that’s what they, well, they didn’t say it like that. Oh, Oh my gosh. No, they didn’t say that, but they did say take out a reverse mortgage. Could you imagine? Yeah. We, to avoid the property taxes, go ahead and just take out a reverse mortgage on your house. Listen, this is crazy. And and it’s
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Really unfortunate. I’m really sad and you know, my taxes are going up too and have every year for the last five years, seeing as our property values are so high, seniors may want to consider a reverse mortgage. It’s, it’s, I know it’s an ugly word, but there are, I’m just saying if I know it’s horrible, but it’s sort of a, a last resort. What
3 (8m 47s):
Aren’t they, aren’t they often? Don’t they have like a predatory nature of the Reverse Mortgages? Isn’t that historically how, wow, that’s crazy. What about don don’t know. Giving people like an abatement or not having property taxes, which are communist and makes it to where people can’t ever really own their own property. Can you imagine, like, you could have your property taken over if you’re behind your property taxes, a few thousand dollars, like a fraction of what your property’s actually worth and they could just rob you. It’s ridiculous. It’s, it’s, it is, I mean, at least, you know, at least crime organizations are honest about what they’re doing. Or, or, or lower taxes. I think just get rid of property taxes, right?
3 (9m 28s):
Just get rid of them. There are better ways to go and fund emergency services and municipal issues, way better ways than stupid communist property taxes that, that drive everybody out. It’s just, it’s asinine. It’s like, one of the things in Texas that we fight is property tax. Like yeah, we don’t have a state income tax and I think that, you know, we still make out way better than states that do have income taxes, but the property taxes are ridic can be ridiculous. And that’s, that’s, you know, one of the things you gotta consider, but to take out a reverse mortgage or just stop wasting everyone’s, I, it, it’s, it’s frustrating why I don’t wanna have to pay for services that I don’t use. Do you ever find yourself like give pe give people their tax money and let them send their kids to whatever the schools they want?
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I don’t believe in the public funding of schools. I absolutely do not. I think that you should empower parents and stop stealing their money and let the parents pay for their kids’ education. Because by and large public school funded, I mean, they pay more per pupil in a number of states than you would on like decent, like actually good private school education. I think when, where were we? We were in Ohio, I think, and they were spending, I can’t rem I can’t remember the cost. It was something like eight I can’t remember per student. It was, what they were paying was almost, I mean, one and a half times per pupil, one and a half times greater than what we were paying per child for our private school tuition.
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And, but wasn public school funding per pupil in Ohio, I was floored. And it’s like that in so many states like that in Texas, it’s like that in so many states. And then when you compare the results, I think that you, you make schools compete. I don’t know why people are so terrified of that. And I realize that there are organizations involved that exclusively donate to Democrats. And so they have a quid pro quo arrangement here. But no, I don’t believe in the public funding of education. I don’t, I think that let parents, because parents are gonna know what’s best for their, let them keep with their money and then they can get even better education for their kids. It doesn’t have to be that’s lazy and it’s so non-committal.
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It’s like the least you can do publicly subsidizing something like that where, oh, I’m not even gonna look at it. I’m just gonna throw money about it and pretend to care and then turned a blind eye. That’s just so lazy. That’s so lazy. That’s not stewardship of your fellow man. That’s not civic pride or responsibility. That’s lazy Marxism, I mean, which was what Karl Marx was. And let’s, let’s not have you forget that the only positive contribution that Karl Marx made to this world was his bloated just ob obscene, chunky carcass feeding the worms in the ground. That is the only positive contribution that Karl Marx ever made to the world.
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He fed some worms with his own fat rolls after he kicked the bucket. There you go. Chunky, smelly, dirty, lazy Karl Marx. you know, he never worked a day in his life and he grif it off all of his friends.
Hillsdale College (12m 34s):
It’s our friends over at Hillsdale College Hillsdale founded in 1844 to offer the kind of education required to preserve liberty and the folks at Hillsdale, it’s in southern Michigan. Small classical liberal arts college, Christian, and they were founded for that purpose. That’s been their mission since their 1844 founding. Now you don’t have to be at their campus as a student in southern Michigan to take advantage of their resources. They have all kinds of free stuff for you that you can access at Dana four fo r hillsdale.com, their free speech Digest and Primus. They also have the Hillsdale College Podcast network. So these podcasts, these are educational deep dives and into everything you can think of if you’re a historical, if you’re a history nut, if you love Christian apologists, all of it. They have deep dives from their staff, from their authors, visiting authors, lecturers, even their president, Hillsdale’s president, Larry Yarn. They’ve got all kinds of stuff for you. Even like stuff that deep dives into how the Republic was founded, who did the founding fathers read and look to when they were creating the Republic. And they get into all of that stuff that really isn’t taught in educational institutions anymore, but it is at Hillsdale. Choose your new favorite podcast today on the Hillsdale College podcast network at Dana four hillsdale.com. That’s Dana four FOR hillsdale.com.
5 (13m 52s):
And now all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s quick five.
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So this is sad news Brett. Far, far fav say it.
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It’s just Brett Favre
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Favs. Yeah,
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Brett Fav. That’s Brett Favre
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Fav still sounds weird, but he made a shock announcement. He’s battling Parkinson’s disease 54 years old. He just like recently released, just recently revealed this and he’s been speaking out nice. Speaking out about it. That’s wild. So goodness. The California governor signed a law banning all plastic shopping bags at grocery stores. This is Gavin Newsom. I mean, you’ve got needles and feces everywhere. High taxes you’re in the red. Best I can do is ban plastic bags, you know, just take a pawn shop style best I can do ban plastic bags. That’s all I can do. No, it’s not even a choice. Now this is why I would act, I don don’t know.
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I feel this is so shoppers have to purchase bags that are made with thicker plastic that makes them reusable. I actually always reuse my plastic bags. I know.
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What are we gonna put in those little tiny trash cans in the
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Bathroom? They’re perfect for the little tiny bathroom trash. What are we gonna do? Okay, that’s so dumb. Gosh, so dumb. A North Carolina man stole a cable company truck with the worker in the bucket. What Oh? my gosh. That had to be terrifying. So this guy, he just literally stole the whole dang truck. W-S-O-C-T-V. It was Caldwell County and the, the guy, they were repairing a line and the worker, thankfully was attached to a safety harness. But ’cause he actually came outta the bucket at one point and that he was able to free himself and remove himself, but he did hurt his leg in the process. The guy that they caught, the suspect who stole the truck, A guy named Frank Moody sounds like a always sunny Philadelphia character.
3 (15m 49s):
He was taken in and he looks like an always sunny incent Philadelphia character. He was taken into custody. Wow. Just crazy. It’s still in the bucket. That’s terrifying. A vandals rampage at a main car dealership caused thousands of dollars of damage to 75 vehicles. This sounds like a Tulsa King episode. A main man damaged 75 vehicles at an automobile dealership, smashing windows, denting the hoods before he was arrested. 25 years old, $90,000 in damage to 75 vehicles. That’s crazy human cases of a raccoon parasite. What? This is apparently a new thing. It’s a rare infection.
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Two people in LA were infected with a raccoon parasite that causes some frequently fatal infections of the icy organs and central nervous system. And people have, if you survive it, you still have neurological impairments. It’s a, there’s a parasitic roundworm that I can’t pronounce. It’s, that’s the name sounds right, but it’s in raccoon feces and humans get infected if they eat dirt or other material that is contaminated with that feces. They’re in rare infections. But LA says, oh, well, you know, because a large number of raccoons live near people, the infection rate is likely higher, so that’s why don’t
5 (17m 5s):
Pet the trash pandas.
3 (17m 7s):
Yeah, they’re not. I mean, yes, they look like adorable little burglars. And yes, you might feel like you’re snow white and you can talk to one, talk one into becoming your pet. It’s not gonna happen. They’re gonna scratch your eyes out and then poop by you and you’re gonna get like a round worm and die. I just, so just don’t do it. Your eyes will fall out and you’ll rot. I just stop. Just don’t do it. And mortgage rates and home sales are down as buyers are waiting for the right moment, which is never gonna happen if the country goes the way of Democrats in November. In addition to all of this, where’s my other, oh boy, you’re gonna love this story. Pentagon is gonna spend $500 million on women’s health research. Why do we need to spend half a billion dollars? Jill Biden announced it. you know, Jill Biden, with all of her expertise on all of this, announces that the Pentagon is going to commit 500 million to women’s health research as part of a broader White House push to increase funding for the study of women’s health.
3 (18m 0s):
What, why is the Pentagon doing this? They should just kick ass and win Wars Kane. Yeah. What I, they don’t actually say what, what the need is. They actually don’t get into,
5 (18m 17s):
Is there a new female ailment that we don’t know about? Is this about och? What is this about? Can’t be about impacts clearly. So what, what, what are we doing?
3 (18m 35s):
I don’t know. Well, we got the gender neutral sub. I don’t know. Are these, I mean, we have living, we have our borders wide open and we have all of this international instability. We have like an actual, we have allies, you know, in the Middle East that are fighting for survival and we’re spending half a billion dollars to study women’s health. These people can’t even define what the hell a woman is. How do they know how to spend a half a billion dollars on women’s health?
5 (19m 6s):
And to expand on that, are, are we studying now the rise of testicular cancer and prostate cancer in women? Because,
3 (19m 17s):
Is that what
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It is? I’m not behind that. I’m not for that.
3 (19m 21s):
Why is she announcing something that is really under the purview of the president? Well, she, and it’s fi I mean, this is so stupid.
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She’s a real doctor.
3 (19m 30s):
I was reading the hill piece, shush up. Biden signed this executive order back in March, directing these agencies to strengthen research and data standards on women’s health with the purpose of better leveraging federal funding. And it directed agencies to prioritize funding for women’s health research and encourage innovation. What he, he gets in, they don’t even, they can’t even define it again, remember birthing person and all that stuff? No, they said that. Listen, this is what, this is the purposes of the order. Listen, quote, the term women’s health research means research aimed at expanding the knowledge of women’s health across their lifespans.
3 (20m 10s):
I’m reading from the White House website, which includes the study and analysis of conditions specific to women conditions that disproportionately impact women and conditions that affect women differently. they said that they want to enhance the study of women’s health across all. This is all just nonsense. Consider women’s health as appropriate during the evaluation of research for blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that’s it. Informative. This is stupid. I don’t even understand why this is needed. It’s not needed. I mean, we, we, we don’t need any of this. Is this, is this just giving more money to healthcare agencies that got fat cash during rona?
3 (20m 54s):
Sounds like
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It.
3 (20m 56s):
I mean, again, everything’s going to hell, but they’re like, oh, let’s spend all this money on, let’s spend the money on half a billion dollars on, but what do you need? What else do you need to study? Well, as you know, women have penises now, so it’s very important that we study this
5 (21m 12s):
And we, we have a private sector healthcare system. Why does the government need to do any of this research or fund it or any of that? If the market requires some research on a specific health issue, the private sector would be getting together to incentivize the creation of that response and then find a way to make money off of it. It’s yeah, like government is a waste of money.
3 (21m 33s):
And it’s interesting to note that she made this at the Clinton Global Initiative Forum. Oh, well
5 (21m 39s):
Then yeah, it’s not going to any health thing. It’s
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Getting laundered. It’s,
5 (21m 43s):
It’s totally getting laundered.
3 (21m 44s):
This is getting laundered. And that’s all this is getting, they ain’t studying nothing here. No. Bill Clinton is gonna personally study the, with the women. He is going to personally study the women and he’s going to tell you what he thinks about women’s health. That seems probably more appropriate. That’s why. But, but this is defense money. Unless you’re going to send women who have like a blood rage, you know, during that time out into the battlefield. I’m using war hammer terminology and bringing all the things together here. Kane, you’re sending out, unless they’re, unless they’re, you know, gonna turn, you know, this, this the adeptus of starters into some women by getting ’em all worked up into like a literal blood rage and sending them out into the battlefield.
3 (22m 30s):
I’m just curious as to why in the hell we’re spending defense money on this stuff. I feel like, but wasn an accurate, right? Yeah. Why are they, why, why you don’t know that? Like you literally have a class like kain of the, the, one of the chapters is a is a of space Marines is a, is a blood angel. And they, they get real sensitive about certain stuff and can get real worked up and their blood rage can consume them. I see. Which is just how you get fourth wave feminism when you,
5 (22m 59s):
Is there a meter that measures the blood rage? Yeah.
3 (23m 2s):
You gotta quell it. You gotta ride the quell. So like, you get ’em worked all up into a blood rage. Send ’em out there. You gotta ride that Quell ladies. Just take it on out. Just,
5 (23m 12s):
I feel like most of the people don’t understand what you’re saying. No,
3 (23m 15s):
They, it’s like Vince Chloro from Ghostbusters, you know, and I can tell you many of something is sore that day. I mean, I get it. It’s the same thing, but I swear it makes sense in my mind. But why is she announcing it? No, they’re gonna have Bill. I’ll be up here. I’ll look, I’ll inspect the ladies. Ooh, so gross. you know? And, and then RFK Junior will helping him.
1 (23m 38s):
Thanks for tuning into today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.
Absurd Truth: Bernie’s Homelessness Irony