In this lively episode, we dive deep into the absurd and entertaining world of Florida Man. From a man frying iguanas outside a Waffle House to driving mishaps and more, the scenarios are both humorous and shocking. Contributor Dana Lash discusses how iguanas have become an invasive species in Florida, so much so that bizarre methods have been employed in dealing with them. We also touch upon personal stories involving unusual game meats, and the curious case of mispronunciations that had everyone in stitches.
00:00:30 Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast Introduction
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SPEAKER 09 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast.
SPEAKER 04 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 05 :
A Florida man has gone viral for frying up some iguanas outside a Waffle House. It’s like that Mexican radio song by Voodoo, Wall of Voodoo. So he’s been serving them up with the waffles in the Waffle House parking lot. He’s a YouTuber. His name is Ron is fishing with a Z. He marinated the iguana meat and buttermilk and pickle juice and seasoning before he fried it up and done served it with waffles. OK, I I would not want to eat them. I would want to have it as maybe a pet, right? It’s almost cuddle, cuddle a bowl. I have a scale, like a scale of one to five. Like if it’s cuddly, then I probably don’t want to eat it. That’s why I’m like, I don’t know where I am with seals, but I feel like this one, I don’t like its legs, but you know, I just don’t understand how you can get away with it in a waffle house parking lot. They allow, because they’re the iguanas, excuse me, the allergies guys, please forgive me. The iguana problem there is so bad they just totally look the other way. Really? That’s how bad it is. They allow people to humanely kill iguanas on private property. And I mean, nobody. Yeah. So it’s private property. And if Waffle House is allowing it for it to happen, then there’s nothing anybody can do.
SPEAKER 04 :
As long as they were providing the waffles, I guess.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, that’s how bad the iguana problem is there. It’s an invasive species. That and the pythons. So that’s how they deal with it. I mean, it does taste like chicken, I’ve been told. I’ve eaten raccoon. I have eaten bear. I’ve eaten an old lion. Uh, by the way, people who hunt lions, you only can go after the old ones and like, like literally maybe you might only have two tags that you can get for the entire year in an area. So people can just not freak out. It’s not good. It was greasy. Um, I’ve almost eaten every, I’ve not eaten groundhog and I have not eaten iguana, but I’ve eaten gator. I’ve eaten squirrel. I’ve eaten everything, but I’ve never had iguana. But I know people that like my husband, I think he’s eating iguana and he’s like, Oh yeah, it’s like chicken. I don’t know though. Cause I look at its face and I’m like, I don’t know if I want to eat you. Like a seal. You know, I want to go back to that because they look like chubby and huggable. And I’m like, I just don’t know if I could eat you. I don’t know. Maybe. A Florida man was accused of driving 100 miles per hour while drunk and then he hopped away from deputies. By hop, I really feel like they’re really overselling that word. It was kind of like he lumbered. It wasn’t really a hop. And a Spring Hill man was arrested to try to sell 11 pounds of ketamine hidden in 20 large candles. He went to the pokey. Obligatory?
SPEAKER 04 :
Obligatory. I heard that under good authority.
SPEAKER 05 :
Wait, what good authority did you hear that from?
SPEAKER 04 :
Well, if you want to go ahead and play that.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, I’m curious. Where’s this phrasing come from? Joe Biden? Is it Joe Biden?
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No, not really. Let’s hear it.
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Hot sauce moment. Now, if you don’t remember what that moment was back in 2016, she was doing the obligatory round. Oh, oh, oh.
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Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER 05 :
I thought it was Joe Biden.
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Obligatory.
SPEAKER 05 :
I’m curious how she pronounces bodega at this point. But wait, doesn’t she have some other very creative pronunciations? What other words are you learning to pronounce differently now?
SPEAKER 04 :
Well, for me, I’ve noticed that when she says, did you do the green barrette one? Do we have green barrette? Because I know that that’s important to honor our green barrettes.
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an open genocide for starving people. You, in this moment, have retired Green Beret and the former Lieutenant Green Beret.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, oh. Oh, Green Beret, is it?
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I’ve been saying it wrong this whole time. And apparently I’ve been saying wrong the word architect. Architecture. I haven’t been saying it that way. I’ve been saying it wrong. So, yeah, listen, this is the right way to say it.
SPEAKER 05 :
Really, it was about the architecture. I want you to understand. I want you to understand. The architecture, like the texture of the buildings. Yeah. That’s not even a word. That’s how you say it, right? Yeah, that’s not a word.
SPEAKER 04 :
Don’t try to delegitimize me.
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Don’t.
SPEAKER 04 :
That’s a word.
SPEAKER 06 :
That’s not coming out of racist ideas, right? It wasn’t because people were just trying to delegitimize him.
SPEAKER 05 :
Delegitimize? That’s like people who say, instead of saying converse, what is it that they… What is the word?
SPEAKER 04 :
Conversate.
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Conversate. Good night. I just… I want to hang myself with my seatbelt in my car. Oh, man. Conversate. It’s converse.
SPEAKER 04 :
That’d be a Macabre moment.
SPEAKER 05 :
This is, um, what?
SPEAKER 04 :
That’d be a Macabre moment? You know what that is.
SPEAKER 06 :
That’s wrong. There’s a thousand ways you can honor Charlie. Stop telling us that it has to always be a Macabre, like…
SPEAKER 05 :
Wait, can I hear that one more time? Yeah. That audio? It’s Macabre. Macabre.
SPEAKER 06 :
That’s wrong. There’s a thousand ways you can honor Charlie. Stop telling us that it has to always be in this Macabre.
SPEAKER 04 :
It’s not Macabre.
SPEAKER 05 :
No, it’s Macabre. Yeah, so. It is. It’s Macabre. Yeah. I got some questions. It does sound like it.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, it does.
SPEAKER 05 :
We can only play three seconds on TV.
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Macabre.
SPEAKER 05 :
Sounds like that Jane song.
SPEAKER 04 :
It does.
SPEAKER 05 :
Right? Just sounds a very, that’s not the way that macabre is pronounced. It’s not pronounced. It’s macabre. What are you saying? Huh? What are you saying? It’s not macabre.
SPEAKER 04 :
I am today years old.
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Just like it’s not. How does she say Bogota for Bodega?
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That was Jill Biden.
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I can’t even tell the difference. She’s a she’s like Black Jill Biden. I can’t even tell the difference. Gal Sharpton is now Black Jill Biden. I don’t know what I can’t even settle on a nickname because it’s just too easy. Don’t you deal. Don’t you delegitimize me. That literally sounds like a spell. It sounds like a spell. Just saying. Yeah. We could sit here and probably spend some time talking about that drama. But I don’t think there’s enough liquor in the world to induce us to debase ourselves to the levels required to analyze that hot mess. So, no, there’s way more important things to talk about. But… Yeah. Delegitimize. I can’t even tell. I can’t even tell. All right. So we have more obligatory news. I don’t even know. How do you say that? I have to really work at it.
SPEAKER 04 :
I had to think about it.
SPEAKER 05 :
I know. I can tell because you pause. How did you? How did you say?
SPEAKER 04 :
We have more obligatory news for you. Coming up.
SPEAKER 05 :
I’m coming up more obligatory.
SPEAKER 04 :
The word is obligatory.
SPEAKER 05 :
Wow. Okay. So I don’t, I haven’t watched HGTV in a while. I think when it first came out, like everybody watched it. And then everybody now has the whole thing about HGTV. Isn’t it all just home improvement every day? Every show is here’s this person. And I have never watched this. It’s Rehab Addict. Have you ever watched Rehab Addict? And apparently this chick who hosts it said a no-no word. Oh boy. She had to issue an apology because she apparently used a racial slur. A video leaked of her using a racial slur. Can I ask what slur it was? Is it like the slur?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. Yeah. The N-word? Yeah. But she said fart before it.
SPEAKER 05 :
What?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 05 :
We can’t play it, obviously, because we would… Did you censor it?
SPEAKER 04 :
Okay. Okay, okay, okay. We can play it.
SPEAKER 05 :
Okay, go ahead. This is 17. Let’s try to understand this. Go ahead.
SPEAKER 06 :
Why? It’s my last one. Oh, fart. Fart. What is that that I just said? Nick, you got it. You got it. Can you kill that? Okay.
SPEAKER 05 :
How in the world is that happen accidentally? How does that happen accidentally? I mean, I don’t know. She doesn’t seem like a hateful person. I have no idea who, I don’t know how she, her show has been canceled now. Was that, that wasn’t a live show. How did it leak? So somebody leaked, did somebody leak it out?
SPEAKER 04 :
Apparently. Somebody delegitimatized her.
SPEAKER 05 :
Somebody delegitimatized her. It’s so mockable. I, I mean, now I’ve heard some creative cussing before. So, like, my stepdad, whenever he would get mad at something in the garage, his… I don’t think I can… Can I… Hey, can I say the word, uh… I don’t think I can say that word on him.
SPEAKER 03 :
I don’t think so.
SPEAKER 05 :
It’s… Unless… Okay, so what did Sleeping Beauty do to the spinning wheel? She pricked her finger.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, yeah, that’s right.
SPEAKER 05 :
So take the past tense E-D off that.
SPEAKER 04 :
Gotcha.
SPEAKER 05 :
And just have the, you know, five… And that’s what he would say. That’s the only word that he would say, but he would say it with such force and volume that… It felt like a weapon. It didn’t feel like an exclamation, right? It like almost manifest as a cudgel, legitimately tangible in hand. So I just don’t know how that is the thing that comes out of your mouth.
SPEAKER 04 :
I mean, it seems like she was also surprised as you about it.
SPEAKER 05 :
How are you surprised at what comes out of your own mouth? That doesn’t even make any sense.
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Just a reaction.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, my gosh. So they said that the footage was taken about two years ago and never aired. So why did it come out now?
SPEAKER 04 :
That was my question, too, because we all know that these shows aren’t live, actually live. So there’s no reason for this to come out other than to damage someone’s reputation.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, somebody didn’t like her, I guess, and decided that they wanted to go after her.
SPEAKER 04 :
And delegitimize.
SPEAKER 05 :
Oh, for the love. We’re not making that word happen. We are not making delegitimize happen. It is not something that we’re going to do. Not happening. I was talking with Colin Plume over at Noble Gold Investments, and we were discussing how no one really knows what 2026 is going to bring elections, markets, wars. But one thing we do know, gold and silver have outlasted every empire. And that’s why gold keeps coming up as a steady, reliable option. Every crash, every currency. And at the end of the day, it’s about that peace of mind. Thank you so much for joining us. Visit noblegoldinvestments.com slash Dana and download their free gold and silver guide. And when you open a qualified account, you’ll receive a complimentary three ounce silver virtue coin. So visit noblegoldinvestments.com slash Dana. Having a little gold in your strategy can make those wild market swings a lot easier to live with. That’s noblegoldinvestments.com slash Dana.
SPEAKER 01 :
Every year, people make the same fitness goal, train harder. But most fail because recovery gets ignored, especially connective tissue that muscles depend on to grow. FrogFuel was developed by Navy SEALs and perfected by a Stanford-trained scientist, delivering 15 grams of nano-hydrolyzed collagen protein that digests in just 15 minutes. It’s science-backed and ready to drink. No mixing, no sugar, no junk. This year, don’t just train harder, recover smarter. Go to frogfuel.com. That’s frogfuel.com. Stay unbreakable.
SPEAKER 12 :
I’ve got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how’s it going today? It’s going good, man.
SPEAKER 03 :
Tell us who you are and what you do. I’m Dan Morgan. I’m an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America’s largest injury law firm.
SPEAKER 12 :
That’s pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion won. $20 billion is an insane number.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It’s actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.
SPEAKER 12 :
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan & Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?
SPEAKER 03 :
Probably the easiest way is dialing Pound Law. That’s Pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow.
SPEAKER 12 :
Dan Morgan from Morgan & Morgan, America’s largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.
SPEAKER 03 :
Thanks for having me. Visit ForThePeople.com for an office near you.
SPEAKER 04 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick 5.
SPEAKER 05 :
Two hundred and seven dogs were rescued in Dallas from a suspected dog fighting operation. Oh, my gosh. I’m like so happy that they were rescued. But also, it is horrific that this exists. So far, they haven’t made any arrests, but they have about one hundred and fifty rescue dogs that are now at an ASPCA recovery center. They’re getting behavioral therapy, veterinarian care, all of that. Dallas Animal Services and one of the best, by the way, animal rescue organizations in Dallas, Operation Kindness. We help support them. They’re right there helping with some of these dogs. They’re so awesome. If you’re going to donate to somebody, Operation Kindness in Dallas is a great organization. Dallas Animal Services also does a good job. But they said that it was a big operation and there was a lot of animals. And I think that everybody who’s involved in this should be put to death by firing squad. And you can do it right there. I mean, good heavens, we can just go right by the Trinity River and make a festival of it. Those people need to be dragged. Hopefully it’s a felony. I mean, in Florida they did it. Democrats are revolting against funding Homeland Security, triggering a likely shutdown. This is what we have to look forward to, everybody. The Senate has so far failed to advance a full year appropriations bill for the DHS. This was yesterday. Democrats were saying they were going to withhold their votes until the party’s demands about stopping immigration enforcement were met. They voted fifty two forty seven to advance the House passed Homeland Security measure, falling short of a filibuster proof majority. And Thune said he flipped his vote in order to bring the legislation up for a vote again, a procedural trick. So we’re going to go back and forth and we’re going to see and then maybe we’ll have a shutdown. I mean, we’re getting close. Also, we talked about walls, but aerobic exercise rivals antidepressants. How many studies do we need for this? Stick with us. We’ve got more in store.
SPEAKER 01 :
Every year, people make the same fitness goal, train harder. But most fail because recovery gets ignored, especially connective tissue that muscles depend on to grow. Frog Fuel was developed by Navy SEALs and perfected by a Stanford-trained scientist, delivering 15 grams of nano-hydrolyzed collagen protein that digests in just 15 minutes. It’s science-backed and ready to drink. No mixing, no sugar, no junk. This year, don’t just train harder, recover smarter. Go to frogfuel.com. That’s frogfuel.com. Stay unbreakable.
SPEAKER 12 :
I’ve got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how’s it going today? It’s going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
SPEAKER 03 :
I’m Dan Morgan. I’m an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America’s largest injury law firm.
SPEAKER 12 :
That’s pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion won. $20 billion is an insane number.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It’s actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
SPEAKER 12 :
Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan & Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?
SPEAKER 03 :
Probably the easiest way is dialing Pound Law. That’s Pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow.
SPEAKER 12 :
Dan Morgan from Morgan & Morgan, America’s largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.
SPEAKER 03 :
Thanks for having me. Visit ForThePeople.com for an office near you.
SPEAKER 05 :
Did you see the American Girl Doll Influencer story, Kane? How long have those dolls been around? Let me look.
SPEAKER 04 :
Let me look.
SPEAKER 05 :
Like how long have they been around? And apparently they’re like really expensive. Isn’t it like Build-A-Bear but for people? Like Build-A-Person? Something. So the American Girl People. Oh gosh, in the 80s. Because I remember them being around when I was a kid. That’s why. But I was like, is it the same? It’s the same thing. They’ve been around for a long time. They were modeled after… This is all going to make sense here in a moment. They were modeled after 18-inch dolls that were made in Germany. And so they became very popular. 1986 is when they were introduced. And… They’re very popular. I know I have friends that have girls that have these American Girl dolls. I had Cabbage Patch Kids, but I didn’t really have an American Girl doll, probably because I was poor. And Cabbage Patch Kids were already expensive, but American Girl dolls are very, very expensive. And so the… What is it? The price? They’re steeped in history… So they have historical characters that are based on, I guess, like, you know, female characters of the late 1800s, mid to late 1800s. Like they have Kirsten as a Swedish immigrant and Samantha as a well-to-do Edwardian era orphan. I mean, that’s hard. That’s super specific. Merry Christmas. Here’s your well-to-do Edwardian era orphan doll. That’s very, very specific, is it not? Yeah. And it was designed to educate through storytelling about American history, right? And the lady who came up with it, she went to Colonial Williamsburg, got the idea, etc. Anyway, let’s fast forward to current era, shall we? So I saw this with Rolling Stone. Headline. Meet the American Girl doll influencers protesting ICE. Some may find it surprising, but for those creating the content, it makes perfect sense. So there’s a story in Rolling Stone where they talk about, they apparently dress their American Girl dolls up in F-ICE t-shirts and they take pictures of them and put them on Instagram. So these are grown people playing with dolls from what I’m understanding. Why? Why in the world is this a thing? And there’s a story about it. And it’s these middle-aged women who are taking American Girl dolls. They’re posing them and posting about them. And they get into this, I don’t know, like these aren’t even funny memes. They’re not even funny. The left cannot meme. And they say, we’ve been radicalized since the 90s. And if you’re not, you’re not experiencing the historical side of American Girl and what they teach. And they’re talking to these grown women who collect dolls. So I had a great aunt. I actually think she was my great aunt or maybe, I don’t know. We had such a big family. And in her house, she was like a very elderly lady. She collected dolls. Not like regular dolls, but like the China dolls with the weird faces and the eyes that could peer through and burn your soul. And she kept them all in one room. I think it was her dining room. My memories of this are hazy, but I remember it was like a dining room that she didn’t use. And she was like married into the family. Nobody in the family had money. She married into the family. So it’s like my first time, I think, really seeing a legit China cabinet. And instead of dishes in our China cabinet, they were all the dolls. And she would have the dolls sitting in the seats. I mean, they couldn’t like sit up at the table, but she would place the dolls in the seats like she was like making a like a vignette in the room. Right. And they were terrifying. And I thought that was weird. I get it that they were like China or porcelain or something. And they had like the hair that was in the… It was weird. They weren’t to play with. You were not allowed to play with them. It’s kind of like that now. I think that’s progressed to now you have these middle-aged women collecting American Girl dolls. And now they’re dressing them up and staging them to make political statements on Instagram. That is weird. That’s like you’re a single adult going to Disneyland. Weird, right? Kane, if you met a woman who collected American Girl dolls like this, would that be would you still be like, I can fix her?
SPEAKER 04 :
No, I do say that is my first default thing I say. But no, in that instance, you just have to know when to give up. You got to know when to throw the towel in.
SPEAKER 05 :
You know what, though? It makes sense. I just realized. I think you made this point. These are the dolls that get possessed.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, they are.
SPEAKER 05 :
These are the dolls that all the movies are made about. Yeah. Right? So maybe that explains why these women are so cray. Today is Friday the 13th, you know, which I love. I love Friday the 13th. I is not afraid. But I’m just saying these are the dolls that get they get stabby. Makes makes some sense, man. It makes some sense. I’ve. Yeah, I don’t know. I they do. But I feel like that that’s what maybe that’s part of the problem with all these women up there. Because they have these dolls and they’re possessed. I don’t know. I’m just like thinking out loud. They’re expensive. But who’d like to dress it? First off, how do you even find a, don’t Google it, but how do you find a doll t-shirt that says blank ice? That’s, I don’t know. Oh, and then, okay. Yeah, go ahead.
SPEAKER 08 :
No, that would mean they have to craft them, take time to craft them themselves.
SPEAKER 05 :
Craft talk, craft talk. So Lorraine says now there are modern era dolls that are meant for the adult collectors and they’re putting out novels to go with the grown up. This is, you know what? It’s still a doll. It’s still a doll. If I, no, no. Like they’re talking about this 25 year old woman who collects dolls and she has like the whole thing. Oh my gosh. There’s, but this is like too much guys. This is way too much. These women need lives. Sorry, but it’s weird. It is just as weird as that family member I had that collected the little porcelain China dolls. It’s just as weird. It’s weird.
SPEAKER 09 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 07 :
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SPEAKER 02 :
Having MG can make cooking difficult, but over the years, I’ve found some really helpful tools and tips that I’m excited to share. Hi, I’m Alicia. I think cooking should always be fun, creative, and of course, delicious. These black bean burgers are hearty, full of flavor, and MG-friendly. You’re going to love them.
SPEAKER 11 :
Check out Alicia’s black bean burger cooking video and other recipes full of tips and tricks for managing common MG symptoms while cooking only at mg-united.com.
SPEAKER 02 :
Ready? Let’s cook.
SPEAKER 01 :
Every year, people make the same fitness goal, train harder. But most fail because recovery gets ignored, especially connective tissue that muscles depend on to grow. FrogFuel was developed by Navy SEALs and perfected by a Stanford-trained scientist, delivering 15 grams of nano-hydrolyzed collagen protein that digests in just 15 minutes. It’s science-backed and ready to drink. No mixing, no sugar, no junk. This year, don’t just train harder, recover smarter. Go to frogfuel.com. That’s frogfuel.com. Stay unbreakable.
Absurd Truth: The Candace Owens Spelling Bee
In this lively episode, we dive deep into the absurd and entertaining world of Florida Man. From a man frying iguanas outside a Waffle House to driving mishaps and more, the scenarios are both humorous and shocking. Contributor Dana Lash discusses how iguanas have become an invasive species in Florida, so much so that bizarre methods have been employed in dealing with them. We also touch upon personal stories involving unusual game meats, and the curious case of mispronunciations that had everyone in stitches.
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