Join us as we navigate through recent absurdities in news, including the rise of monkeys causing chaos at a Florida school. We’ll discuss Jennifer’s thrifty shopping strategies and the controversy over the massive grants given to zoos for applying DEI principles. Don’t miss our insights into how these events reflect the larger socio-political landscape.
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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
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So a Florida woman who was busted for speeding in a school zone bit a deputy after they found drugs in her car. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said a Claremont woman was not spreading holiday joy when she battered one deputy and tried to bite another. She got caught with drugs and a suspended license while speeding in a school zone. 23-year-old Lara Alexander was, well, she was looking at an iPad, not wearing her seatbelt, and she was like blazing through the school zone. And when they pulled her over, she didn’t have a driver’s license. It showed it was suspended already last fall. And then she had all kinds. She had like some dope on her. She became combative, though. She elbowed one deputy in the chest. And then they got her in the back of the patrol car and they said she was aggressive. And when the detention deputy came out to help get her out of the vehicle, she bit him in the arm. So now she’s in trouble. In addition to her. traffic citation. She’s got two counts of battery on a law enforcement officer resisting arrest. She just sounds like joy. She just does, doesn’t she? Police got this guy in custody who hijacked an Amazon truck wearing a good vibes only t-shirt. Well, it seems like apparently it was bad vibes. They say that this guy, 46-year-old Hassan Raikin, hit an Amazon driver in the face while wearing a Good Vibes Only t-shirt, and then he drove away with the truck, and they were able to arrest him. And, you know, he’s got charges of robbery, carjacking, battery, etc. No packages were stolen, apparently, so I guess people are going to just some minor delay. But, yeah, he’s got a sunflower tattoo, and he was wearing a Good Vibes Only shirt. That’s doesn’t seem like that’s going to be good vibes. This is crazy. OK, so in central Florida, they’ve got an issue with a certain type of these weird. They’re like the friends monkeys, the ones that were on the one that Chandler had on the show. What do they call those? They’re like capuchins or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So officials are trying to figure out how many monkeys are actually terrorizing people. But apparently they’re going into people’s backyards and they’re terrorizing parents at a school drop off area. It’s in central Florida in Volusia County. An elementary school principal literally had to warn parents because monkeys were running like one or two was in the drop off area Wednesday of this week. And like they were going like trying to go with the kids.
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This piece came out, the Wall Street Journal, where they finally are admitting that he’s been senile this entire time. In fact, and I was… I mean, this is a hell of a headline over a Daily Mail. They have above the fold like their main photograph. They have Biden, one of the worst incidents when he fell down the stairs over and over like he he fell down the stairs three times for actually trying to get up them in one clip. And it says dud from day one. That’s the headline. So this Wall Street Journal piece, they I mean, they knew from the get go. that he was struggling with his senility they knew it from the get-go this bombshell report the big lie as it were you know politic was it politifact that said the biggest lie was the eating of the dogs and cats in ohio the biggest lie was the cover-up of biden’s mental acuity The Wall Street Journal, this piece is just about as damning as you can get. How the White House functioned with a diminished Biden in charge. I mean, this is something else. And it gets into all of these counselors who knew it and how they controlled every second of his public events. And the limitations around they even had limitations over what kind of media he consumed, where he what he would read. They said that whenever he traveled particularly, he always had a small group of aides that were right with him. And whenever he would travel, they’d be right there with him too. And they said that even they would shepherd him around in a manner. And these are like some people who apparently were talking off the record that had been, I don’t know. I kind of wonder if it was in the press corps, members of the press corps talking about this. But they were saying that the amount of handholding and the amount of shepherding him, in public was unlike anything that they’ve ever seen. And they knew it from day one. I actually think that you could see it even before the election. Remember, they didn’t have him out. He stayed in his, he didn’t campaign. And there’s a reason why. I mean, the coronavirus and the pandemic, that suited them perfectly. Because then they didn’t have to worry about him making a fool of himself in public. They didn’t have to worry about him slipping, either verbally or physically. And then all of the headlines that would emerge from that. But they said at events, aides would repeat, I mean, over and over again, instructions to him, like how to enter, where to enter a stage, how to exit, where to exit. And it would be obvious to, you know, an average everyday person. But with him, it wasn’t so much. They said the protection, the protective culture was intensified. And they, I mean, everybody limited interactions with him. They said that… it insulated him not just from the scrutiny of the American public, and this is a big takeaway, that it also insulated him from his own cabinet secretaries, chairs of congressional committees, and other high-ranking individuals. So not only was he inaccessible to the average everyday member of the public, but he’s inaccessible to his own staff, to the people who are advising him. He’s very well insulated. And they said that all of this, all of these strategies to protect him worked until the debate. It worked until the debate. And the debate just blew it wide open. Which then, you know, makes me go back to that. Because in the beginning they were hesitant to accept the debate. And then they did. I mean, they had to have known. how horribly he would perform. And I was thinking about this last night when I was adding this to the headline. So if you subscribe over at Substack, chapter and verse, you get this out. And I was thinking about this when I was compiling some of the prep for this morning. They knew that he was going to perform horribly at that debate. They knew that the election for 24 was going to be won and lost at that one debate. And it was. I think that that that’s the night that Trump won. And I think it became definitive. I think he won definitively at the McDonald’s, the McDonald’s thing. I mean, the assassination to the assassination attempt, he won. But I think it was really confirmed definitively. with Biden failing at the debate, because it wasn’t just so much about people getting behind Trump. You had to show that they couldn’t get behind Biden. You had to show people that there is no other choice. It’s not for the people who were kind of in the middle and were thinking, I don’t like either of them. That it had to be made evident to them that it wasn’t just a choice between two people that they didn’t like. It had to be a choice between someone who could actually function and someone who couldn’t. And I think that played. I mean, he destroyed his own career. Biden did. But why did Democrats allow it to happen? Why did they even consent to the debate? You know, they limited the audience. They limited everything. I mean, they kind of had to consent to the debate. But also, do you think that they were trying to put him out to rest? out to pasture this way. I’ve always wondered what his inner circle, what really felt about him doing the debate. Because they had to have known. There was even at one point, and we remarked on this, I think we played it at the time, when Biden was, and it was before Biden The first it was before the second time he did it when Trump was like, I don’t even know if he knows what he says or what he said. I don’t think he knows what he said. Remember that soundbite that Trump gave the first time Biden did it, though. They had them on a split screen side by side. And there was I mean, Trump kind of has a poker face for the most part. He didn’t with Kamala Harris, but there he did. I think he was very disciplined in the first debate. But he had an expression on his face. If you go back and you and it’s on YouTube, if you watch Trump the first time that Biden kind of it’s I mean, if you’re really watching Trump, you can see it. He’s got an expression on his face that reads like this poor guy. He really does. And I think that that is one of the reasons Trump didn’t get nasty with him, because I think he felt like Biden was maybe Biden said he was always been a jackass. Let’s not undermine that. But now in his sunset years, it sort of felt like everybody else was taking advantage of him because they wanted that access to power. They either wanted to rule through him or they wanted that power adjacency. And I think Trump recognized that when he was on stage. That was a really telling moment in politics. And then the second time Biden got lost in his own mind, that’s when Trump said, I don’t even think he knows what he says. But they knew this. This should be the big lie. It shouldn’t be the, well, you know, they were eating cats and dogs. They were eating cats and dogs. I literally had, was it three weeks ago? It was like right after Thanksgiving. The woman who was an illegal immigrant who was caught on camera in the middle of a residential street eating someone’s pet. That is literally from Ohio. That is video from Ohio. And that was a woman who was in the country illegally, according to law enforcement cited by the local press of the story. It’s not a lie. But what is a lie? The big lie is all of these Democrats covering up for Joe Biden. Do you know how dangerous it is what they did? They put in to the White House someone who is already senile. And they knew it from day one. We could see it even. And they lied to you. They lied to all of us, all of our faces. That is the big lie. They were so desperate for power that they put someone in whose mind is actually failing them. Someone who controls the nuclear football. Someone who can make the call, push the right button, send your kids and loved ones to war. They put that guy in the White House. Do you know how dangerous that is? That’s how bad they want power. They don’t care how and they don’t care about the dangerousness of it and they don’t care what it costs. They want power. They have no idea how to keep it, but they just want it. If you’re looking for a convenient, affordable way to access medications and treatments you can trust, All Family Pharmacy has you covered. Whether it’s the flu or parasites, cancer support, or general well-being, All Family Pharmacy’s online service makes getting the medications you need hassle-free. With All Family, it’s simple. You can choose the individual medications that best suit your needs or opt for one of their comprehensive treatment packages designed to give you everything that you need in one convenient order. And every order comes with a doctor’s prescription included. Ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, or any other effective medications, they have it all. 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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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So Brazil traders are selling first and asking later as the pandemic is hitting their markets. Gosh, I forgot to tell you of the bird flu headlines, too, as well. This is it was they they they’ve been dealing with a collapse in their currency. Now their markets are in their crosshairs. Investors are losing faith in their ability to contain this crisis. And they think that the sell off has sent the real I mean, it’s it’s been it’s plunged to a record low. Everything stocks, local currency, everything, everything is a mess. So what happens when you’ve been not fiscally responsible? This is actually going to do less than inflation or against inflation. The Fed trims interest rates in the third straight cut this year. I really don’t think that this is going to do anything because I mean, they keep doing it incrementally and still it’s not having any effect, really. It makes you mad.
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Makes me mad because government spending hasn’t stopped or even slowed down. It’s actually increased. There is no justification until we get inflation under control to cut the rates. But this is what they’re doing.
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Well, yeah, I mean, and this is again, and we see why all of we’re having all of these issues, all of the stuff that we’re dealing with in Congress right now. And with this spending, you know, the cost of living increase and all that stuff. But yeah, they said Jerome Powell told reporters that it was today was a closer call. He says they’re arguing that lowering rates could undermine their taming of inflation since it peaked at nine point one and twenty two. You know what else proves difficult in taming inflation? Like constantly printing money to cover your debts. That also does it too. Okay, so here’s the first bird flu. Bird flu. First bird flu headline. First severe bird flu case is confirmed in the United States. The patient was hospitalized. They said that there’s no details. It’s at a hospital in Louisiana. And they said that the patient had exposure to sick and dead birds in backyard flocks. That’s per the CDC. So they said that it’s the general type in the patient’s case is different from the one detected in dairy cows. I don’t I think that it’s just all a way to scare people. And I get really especially, you know, we all they try to use this to lock the country down again. I will literally kick some people in the blinking teeth. I mean, no joke. Okay, this is actually funny. I saw this headline last night. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says raccoon and squirrel are among dietary preferences. He suggested that consuming raccoon was not uncommon at all. It’s actually not. But you know the people who think that it is uncommon are like the city-dwelling whole food eaters. I’m not trying to be mean about it. I’ve never had it. You’ve never had it? I’ve never eaten raccoon. I’ve eaten squirrel. My husband’s eaten raccoon. I know I have family members that would hunt them and eat them.
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I’ve had rabbit and squirrel, but never, never, never that.
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It’s greasy from what I understand. It’s real greasy. I don’t like that. And plus they’re cute. Like I can look at a cow in the face and be like, you look delicious.
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But they eat trash.
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They’re trash pandas. So you’re eating trash meat because you are what your meat eats.
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It’s kind of like bug meat, like in the seafood arena, like lobsters and shrimp into those bottom feeders.
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So it’s like scavenger meat. Yeah. I don’t like scavenger meat.
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That’s what raccoons are.
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That’s why it’s greasy because it’s dumpster meat. Ew, dumpster meat. Sounds like something out of Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Yeah, great. But yeah, I thought that was funny because you have media are freaking out about it and they think he’s like a freak because of it. Also, a couple of other things here to make sure that we’re touching on because we’ve got to get a lot of this stuff. This… I’m coming back to it, but I have a whole handful of stories. People who are spending tons of money on that Luigi Mangione. Now, I told you that they raised six figures for defense, right? But they now check. So this assassin, this murderer has received 158 cash deposits into his prison commissary account, 40 emails and 53 letters in the mail from his demented fans. And then, you know, I told you about the survey where Gen Z is like, really, was it that bad? Because, you know, the narrative about the CEO and all that stuff. It’s just it’s wild, wild. And let’s see. Apparently, KFC is considering they open a new restaurant that’s not like KFC. And it’s called called Saucy. And it basically features chicken tendies and dips. That’s all it is. Would you eat there? Yeah, like canes. I know I’m like canes. Stick with us. We’ve got a lot more in store. We got to get this under control because right now they’re at. I mean, I I don’t know. Says you can do a clean CR. Trump says it’s dumb to do a clean CR. OK, so what are we doing? What is it? I mean, heaven knows, you know, the house being the power of the purse, heaven knows that Johnson’s not there offering any kind of serious alternative except for the pork, you know, crapnibus that he proposed right before Christmas. So, you know, that’s out. It’s so frustrating. Not as frustrating as spending tax money, though, to study identity politics at the zoo. Oh, that’s actually a real headline though. It sounded like something I was joking about. No, it’s actually a legitimate headline. Hold up. Let me – I got to share this. This is so stupid. There’s a half a million dollar grant that’s supposed to help this zoo apply for an anti-racist lens. What is – I don’t even know what that means. tax dollars, our tax dollars for a zoo to look at identity politics. So the, I’m going to pull this up. This is at the American Alliance of Museums, and it’s like DEA on roids. They have some definitions. And this comes from Randoland, which is a great account for following a lot of this wasteful spending. So the Institute of Museum and Library Services, they gave a grant, and it actually ended up going to a zoo even. And it was about $700,000 in And they wanted to explore diversity, equity, access, and inclusion. D-E-A-I. Oh, now it’s D-E-A-I. Oh, is it? Oh, yeah. You know. Okay. Hold up. D-E-A. So that’s diversity, equity, accessibility, and inclusion. Oh. So there are. Working with the Association of Science Technology Centers and the two alphabet groups are apparently looking at how to implement these DEI practices, I guess. And it’s just so goofy into like their their museums, zoos, etc. Why? Why? Why? Why are we doing this? Why is this still a thing? They had this – pulling this up. They had this – it went through the Endowment of the Arts, this grant that they had that was – I mean, that’s like one of the things that they put money towards. Not only a grant for a zoo to study things through an anti-racist lens, there was also almost a million-dollar grant to an organization to provide outreach and engagement, non-traditional holistic supports, whatever, and alphabet-affirming interventions for youth and family, hundreds of youth and family. That was a grant that went through the NEA. I mean… The good news is that in private businesses, the DEI stuff looks like it’s falling apart, falling to the wayside. The bad news is, is that it’s so ingrained in government already that a lot of this grant money being allocated is still being funneled towards those DEI programs. So they have not caught up. Government is behind business in this. Yet zookeepers can apply equity, inclusion and anti-racist practices to to zoo structures, policies, and programs. The big recipient through the Institute of Museum and Library Sciences was the Woodland Park Zoological Society. What does that have to do with the zoo? Why do people have to have their money taken to make zoo workers less racist? Why are Z workers racist?
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Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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