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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.

SPEAKER 11 : 0:35

It’s his life mission to make bad decisions.

SPEAKER 06 : 0:42

It’s time for Florida Man.

SPEAKER 10 : 0:44

That’s right. It’s time for Florida Man. This is the Dana Show. My name is Craig Collins filling in. Find Dana everywhere at Dana Lash Radio. Two great ways to stay connected on X on Twitter. I love this first Florida Man from Stories Today. Radio Kane does an awesome job of sending these to me. A Florida man with an ankle monitor tells deputies he can’t go to jail. I have a curfew. I got to go back to my house because I’ve already got the ankle monitor. I’m already in trouble. He went on to also complain that you can’t do bleep is the word he said when he found out that you can get arrested while wearing an ankle monitor and under house arrest if you do other bad stuff. There’s something amazing about this. He thought that there was some sort of like get out of jail free scenario that if you do something you’re not supposed to do, the guy in Winter Haven, but you happen to already be in trouble that you just point to the ankle monitor and you’re like, no, guys, they got me. It’s fine. You don’t have to get me in trouble for this. I’m already in trouble. And they’re like, well, no, if you do a bad stuff, then you have to actually also go back to jail. A car crash happened, et cetera, et cetera. The guy is in trouble. I just love the things he said and the way he acted as though he can’t possibly have things. It’s like double jeopardy to him, even if the crimes are totally different. Amazing. A Florida man pled guilty to assaulting a Dallas-Fort Worth airport gate agent. This is according to the U.S. DOJ. Usually Florida people, some of them, may Florida hard. This seemed to be one of those situations where that would happen. The guy was accused of assaulting a gate agent and pled guilty to it. In the statement, the DOJ said the security cameras captured Keith Charles Owens, 53, repeatedly punching the gate agent in the head. The incident occurred back in October of 2024. I went according to court documents at 4.42 p.m. He arrived at his gate to tell the agent he was late and tried to scan his boarding pass when the agent explained that he had the wrong gate. You’re not in the right place, sir. You can’t get on board this plane. It’s not your plane. Owens lost it. He started cursing, walked away for a bit, came back and attacked the agent. This is surreal. Owens went back to A36 and started yelling at the gate agent, grabbed him by his shoulders and punched him repeatedly in the face, even though he was supposed to board at A35. That feels like the kind of thing where eventually, I hope, with enough time, enough clarity, you look back and you regret the fact that you got that mad. I don’t know if that’ll ever happen for this guy, but hopefully it does. Florida man was arrested for allegedly calling for a Trump assassination on Facebook as well. One other crazy story out there. This is illegal. You can’t go around and do this. Shannon Atkins, 46, faces possible federal charges for essentially asking for something horrible to happen to the current president of the United States. Atkins is also charged with drug possession, smuggling contraband in a county detention center and other stuff. So obviously he’s, you know, the cream of the crop in the world in which we all live. But darn it, it seems just insane, again, that these individuals do these sort of things and then assume that there’s not going to be any sort of consequences. I wonder how you actually react when you throw that up on social media. You type out the crime and then hit post and then just sit back and look at it and go, this was a good idea. I’ve done a great thing. Maybe you’re something like the ankle monitor dude who just assumes you can’t get more trouble if you’re already in trouble. So what’s the worst that can happen? And well, you can go back to jail. You can have a lot of other crazy things occur. I just can’t get over that. The individual thinking that it’s no big deal, it’ll all be fine. And then, you know, not so much. All right, one last thing, and it’s just because I love it so much. Before we take a break, I want to keep playing this audio of Chuck Schumer saying that people are aroused. I don’t know if he was talking about Florida specifically or something else, but I can’t get over that this exists. Let’s use this as a palate cleanser to close out the hour. on the show because, well, darn it, it’s awesome.

SPEAKER 04 : 4:45

People are aroused. I haven’t seen people so aroused in a very, very long time in terms of going, trying to get this done. So, yes, I think democracy will have an effect and we are going to keep at it.

SPEAKER 10 : 4:57

I hope you don’t. I don’t want you to keep at it. Nothing at all whatsoever. That sounds like a Florida man. I took over the body of a Chuck Schumer and said some things that a Florida man would say.

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SPEAKER 10 : 7:41

It’s it’s unfathomably sad. First and foremost, it’s the kind of thing that we don’t see very often here in the United States. And so it’s sort of surreal to an extent to know that it happened. There’s a second aspect of it, though, that’s certainly going to be talked about and I think deserves to be talked about. And that is why this happened. And there are people that think it’s horrible to even ask those questions, to wonder how this could be in general. But I don’t understand that. And I’ll be honest about that. I know whenever anyone thinks… that they’re um you know fighting against a conspiracy theory or whatever you want to call it that they seem to think they’re doing a good job uh they seem to think like how dare you say that you should be stopped at all call at all costs for the things you say and do uh because they’re inappropriate to be said and done and that’s insane um and the best way that i can explain this is the only way to get honest answers to get truth is to ask questions If you don’t ask questions, you don’t get truth. And don’t claim things are true when you don’t know if they are. But never be afraid to ask a question. Never be afraid to wonder how a military plane that may or may not have been flying in a way where it can’t really be detected, although there was communication between that plane and between air traffic control. But if you ask a question why that plane would seem to… Almost by a flight path purposefully crash into a airline plane that’s landing a helicopter in a plane crashing in a way that that seemed like it could have been intentional. Granted, not saying it was this absolutely could be a horrific accident and not intentional at all. It’s not wrong to ask those things and to wonder that, especially when you have a person like this president trying to remove corruption from our society and wondering how corruption will respond to that. That is something that deserves, I think, to be asked. Caitlin Collins seemed to think it was horrible that President Trump not only called a press conference, showed up at his press conference this morning, but even laid out there. And certainly not the way I’m saying things, but that the cause of this might also be a hiring of an individual that didn’t deserve a job. I think that makes sense, too. Here’s a little bit of that.

SPEAKER 08 : 10:00

Do you know the names of the 67 people who were killed? And you are blaming Democrats and DEI policies and air traffic control and seemingly the member of the U.S. military who was flying that Black Hawk helicopter. Don’t you think you’re getting ahead of the investigation right now?

SPEAKER 05 : 10:14

No, I don’t think so at all. I don’t think with the names of the people, you mean the names of the people that are on the plane, you think that’s going to make a difference? Does it comfort their families? They are a group of people that have lost their lives. uh if you want a list of the names we can give you that we’ll be giving that very soon in coordination with american airlines we’re in coordination very strongly obviously with the military but i i think that’s not a very smart question i’m surprised coming from you i’m surprised coming from you someone he’s uh thought doesn’t ask great questions in the past

SPEAKER 10 : 10:44

What’s most amazing about this topic is CNN itself put out yesterday, right after this horrible thing happened, that it’s Trump’s fault, more or less, in saying that some of the decision-making to pull back on government funding, including even with air traffic control, might have somehow played a part in this, even though it couldn’t possibly have. The man has been in office for a very short amount of time. Nothing that he’s done has had the impact that CNN was trying to allude to it being. And more so than that, if you go even further, Trump is trying through executive action and other things to make it harder to become an air traffic control person, but also to make sure you’re hiring people that deserve the job and not necessarily hiring people that don’t deserve the job for a tremendous amount of reasons. A DEI among them. And Trump was not shy at all about this. And I think there’s something great about that. Because again, you’re not saying out loud that you definitively believe that something did occur. You’re saying out loud that it could have occurred and we’re not going to pretend it didn’t. One of the best examples of this, by the way, in recent history is the lab leak theory about COVID. The amount of people that said it was horrible to say that. And Trump, one of the people who put that out there at the time. But how dare you? And now most of our intelligence community recently updated us into believing that COVID leaked from that lab in Wuhan. So all these years later, When they hope that you’ve forgotten the way that they fought against you at the start, they want to pretend as though they always accepted it as a rational, potentially likely scenario. And now inevitably the main, you know, belief in what caused all of that. But for now, they’re going to pretend with the DEI stuff like it’s a horrible, terrible thing to say. Here’s a little bit more Trump on it.

SPEAKER 02 : 12:33

It’s all under investigation. I understand that. That’s why I’m trying to figure out how you can come to the conclusion right now that diversity had something to do with this crash.

SPEAKER 05 : 12:42

Because I have common sense, okay? And unfortunately, a lot of people don’t.

SPEAKER 10 : 12:49

The tragedy itself is not funny. I want to make sure that I make sure everyone knows that I’m not even remotely laughing at anything like that. I don’t know why, but just the matter of fact way that Trump responds there, I think is incredible. And here I’ll say one other thing about media and press. This is the president of the United States. I’m not trying to say that. So you respect him more because media won’t do that. And I actually don’t really need them to. I mean, look at the way they treated Biden and the amount of stuff they ignored that Biden evidently was doing that you could have easily actually attacked him for. But assume that he might have some decent information that he’s going to get briefed by people that know more than you do. The amount of media that so arrogantly seems to assume they know the story better than the guy who’s going to actually get the intelligence briefing that no one else has given yet, the non-public information that may or may not ever be public, that we want to be public. It’s incredible. The amount of times that I think we’ve seen this play before and are likely to see it again, and then media has egg on their face for being the idiots in the room, and they don’t learn their lesson. They keep going with the, how dare you say that, or how dare you think that, and we’ll see what occurs. I want to say one other thing, actually, and I mean this with all sincerity. Just because something like this could have happened, that DEI itself could have potentially been to blame in some way, shape or form. And again, you’re waiting for the information to know for sure. It doesn’t mean that Republicans or conservatives or people who are willing to say that out loud, no matter what political party they think themselves to be, are also hateful. They’re not hateful. I’m not hateful. I just think that you need to tell the truth. Whatever the truth is, you can’t be afraid of it. And more and more people seem to pretend as though not only can you be afraid of the truth, you should be afraid of it. You should be afraid of asking the questions that get us there.

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Donald Trump is sworn in as president again. Joe Biden preemptively pardons political allies and more family members as he exits. And the American people strongly back the new president on deportations and transgender policy. I’m Greg Karumbas. Join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad, and crazy news of the day, and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

SPEAKER 06 : 16:36

And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.

SPEAKER 10 : 16:41

The world doesn’t look great for a couple reasons out there and sillier stories. Well, actually, probably you could take these very seriously. AI girlfriends are a trend that is exploding. This is real. Eight in ten men. Well, it’s actually not real. The exact opposite. Eight in ten men think they could one day replace people, humans. Mostly out of a survey of 2,000 guys, people that said they were lonely and struggling to find a human being that interacts with them the way that AI does on their phone. There’s something about a detachment from reality being so strong that just having fake AI messages on your cell phone feels like human interaction. And that is terrifying. Just one of two. stories out there that makes us worried about our future the other one is a story about an asteroid that’s being called the christmas asteroid that has a perilous path ahead of it that might in fact harm us we pray to god that doesn’t happen and usually it doesn’t happen but it’s also a story out there in the world that i couldn’t get over relaying to you for some reason whatever reason Super Bowl commercials are going to be $8 million. Most of them will leak online or not even leak, just purposely be put online. The significance of the Super Bowl commercial now compared to before, totally different. It feels tremendously like you’ve already seen everything. Honestly, even if you stream stuff and I do a lot of streaming television, I think they’re putting some of those commercials out there already along before, say, they’re going to be out there for regular TV. And a lot of us watch it the other way. So really, none of this is getting debuted. None of this is new and different. So who knows? But that’s another story in the world. Another quick five topic. The UK Navy mistook a farting whale, this is real, for phantom Russians trying to track their nuclear submarine. This was hilarious, I guess. Navy officials feared that Vladimir Putin had locked onto them. We have been analyzing the sounds and now believe it to be a marine mammal, a whale, and some, you know, flatulence was what they put out there in the world after for a while thinking that it was something else. It’s one of the UK’s doomsday subs, apparently, that was worried if it had been located. I wonder how that feels to go through all the procedure, all the elements of this. And it’s, you know, a bunch of dudes who will probably find this funny when it’s all said and done. But finding out that what you’re freaking out about, what you’re preparing to interact with is a whale that maybe had too many fish that day. That’s got to be something as far as the conversation sitting across the table after it’s all over and being like, man, we can’t believe we thought that was a real thing when it was, in fact, just a whale farting. I can’t get over how stupid this is. Man, I love that topic so much. And probably partially because I was nowhere near the actual version of freaking out about it and then finding out that it was not, in fact, a real risk. And then, all right, one other thing out there that I saw. A study found breakups are harder on men than on women. This scares you in connection to the story about AI, artificial girlfriends who are never going to break up with you. But apparently young people specifically, with a couple weeks until Valentine’s Day, were asked about this. And straight men are ones who feel like they have no, quote, emotional support after the breakup. You just own it, man. You just you live in your own world for a few days. You figure out how to move on and then eventually you move on. That at one point was something a whole lot of us as men did and didn’t complain about as much as you complain about now. But loneliness, sadness and other things together apparently demonstrate just how difficult this is on men. I will go a step further. because it mentions divorce too. There are ways in which society, I think, does make that harder on dudes, whether it’s more challenging to see your kids for a man than for a woman, et cetera, et cetera. So there are a lot of, you know, valuable aspects within this story that I think matter and deserve to be looked at. But for some reason, there’s also the things about it that make you just feel bad about the world we live in now, if that’s the right word. All right, let’s play this audio. Call this a palate cleanser if you want to. This is Democratic Senator Brian Schatz. That’s his name. Don’t get mad at me. He’s out of Hawaii, and he made an insane claim about Robert F. Kennedy Jr. This is just trying to get a pound of flesh by inventing something. This is performative politics to the T. This is nuts. Here we go.

SPEAKER 03 : 21:18

That RFK Jr. wants to conduct the Tuskegee experiments… on all of us.

SPEAKER 10 : 21:24

No. You actually even hear behind him, some of the politicians who are standing with him in a video shot of the podium, their reaction to it.

SPEAKER 03 : 21:35

That RFK Jr. wants to conduct the Tuskegee experiments on all of us. He wants to observe the disease process population-wide. No. But I believe, I believe, Don’t know. I believe the Democrats will be united.

SPEAKER 10 : 21:53

All right, I’ll stop it right there. I’m having a very hard time not making fun of the fact that this senator’s last name is Schatz. I’m trying very difficult. It’s very difficult for me. I’m not going to be able to completely do it. I kind of want to coin a new term when you just speak nonsense into the air. You’re, you know… Doing a Schatz. You’re pulling a Brian Schatz. Let’s make sure to have clarity there. You’re Schatzing all over the world in your takes and whatnot. I’m a child. Because this is insane. This is ridiculous. And I’m thrilled. that his name is what it is because it feels tremendously appropriate after that take, after that information is thrown out into the world or lack thereof information is probably what you can call it. But honestly, I don’t know why Democrats can’t learn their lesson. And the lesson should be that the worst way to garner the attention of the American people to the degree you need it in order to, say, win an election is just crap all over. I’m not going to shats all over the and that’s Brian Shatz, by the way, all over the other people involved in this situation. the other people out there in the world, and don’t actually provide any sort of solution yourself. Don’t give us any real information. Many of these organizations that Trump has put people in charge of need to be overhauled, dismantled, potentially, or at least fixed by going ground up and rooting out all the waste, abuse, etc., etc. That’s what I think is happening. Honestly, real quickly, too, about the memo that gets rescinded, the memo that essentially paused a whole bunch of government funding for everything as they get an understanding of whether or not people are going to follow Trump’s executive order to remove DEI and other things from our situation, from the world in which we live. This is good. I don’t know why anyone would actually care about a slight pause, which is what they said it was, and no one actually took any money directly out of the hands of a human being who was getting money themself for this. He said that money going directly to people was going to continue. It was money going to organizations, to anything else that had to be reviewed and made sure that it follows… the new policies of the new administration. And you know what’s great about that too, by the way? Just real quick. If you know anyone in the world of government that gets paid by the government, they sometimes act as though it doesn’t matter who’s in charge. Like, ah, we’re still going to get our money. We’re still going to get this over here, get that funding over there, or move these dollars around once we claim they’re for this, but we know we’re going to be able to use them for something totally different. They essentially act as though there is no check and balance. And so this was, the most profound example of that. And even if it was a couple day example, and that’s all it was intended to be, hey, I can turn the faucet off if I want to, and you now know I can turn it off, and so we’ll see who actually gets the faucet to stay on and who doesn’t. I think that’s brilliant. I think that’s incredible. And honestly, I’m not a giant Trump fanboy. I might sound like one filling in today on the show, I don’t begrudge you if you are one, but I don’t call him, or at least during the first term, didn’t often say that the moves he made were always the most genius decision anyone’s made. But in the first couple weeks of the new administration, I think there’s a refinement to how this process goes. What’s said to the public, what’s said in private, the actions that are being taken. I continue to see… what I believe to be a very focused individual and a very significant individual, certainly not just by being our president, but in general by how he’s going about wielding that power. I think there’s something new about some of this, even from last time. One of the biggest knocks on Trump, I will remind people of those who voted for him the first time around in 2016. But then I don’t know if they were truly unhappy. I can’t imagine a lot of them voted for Biden. But one of the knocks on him was that he didn’t do the removal of the deep state, the removal of the government corruption the way he promised to. And it feels like this time it’s all or nothing, baby. There’s a version of that that is occurring and occurring more significantly. And I think that’s good, regardless of what else other people, other, well, idiots, in my opinion, have to say about this.

SPEAKER 09 : 26:16

Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.