In this wild episode of the Absurd Truth Podcast, we dive into the notorious escapades of Florida’s quintessential madlads, complete with an escaped emu causing a ruckus in the streets! We also explore a bizarre TikTok challenge gone awry and a Corvette-driving Casanova impressing his date in the most unconventional of ways. Tune in as we dissect the hilarity and chaos that only Florida can deliver! Alongside these tales, we delve into serious conversations around personal safety and the inventive ways civilians can protect themselves without compromising their rights.
00:21:43 Dana’s Quick Five and Bizarre Drone Story
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if you like what you hear and want to support the show the easiest free way to do it is to follow the podcast and leave a rating and review seriously 30 seconds from you helps keep this show going strong i appreciate you dana lashes absurd truth podcast it’s his life mission to make bad decisions
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It’s time for Florida Man.
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Emus are native to Australia. They’re over six feet tall and they have talents. They have large giant claws they can attack you with. The emo wound up being captured by Florida deputies in the area. That’s got to stink to be a deputy who works in a place like Florida that occasionally gets a call like this. Like, hey, somebody let out their pet emu. Come again for me. What did you say? They let out an emu and it’s angry. and it’s in the street, and it’s doing terrible things. But they caught it, they brought it back home, and the emu is now safely back in its house with its owner that, for some reason, loves to have a large flightless bird in its backyard that just seems angry at the world. It reminds me of the tiny bird my wife and I got from the pet store that we had to return weeks after getting it because it hated us and attacked us constantly. We got a bird. We got a pet bird that my wife really wanted, and it was a horrible, horrible decision right before Christmas a couple years ago. And I still think about that occasionally, how much this bird hated us any time we let it out of its cage, and that that’s not the kind of thing I wanted in my home. Other Florida man stories, a TikTok challenge landed a guy in jail because he thought that he could spend the night in a Walmart. Apparently, this is a popular viral TikTok thing. So the Florida guy goes to Walmart, gets caught. They ask him why he’s trying to sleep there. And he goes, I don’t know, to get clicks, to get likes, to make people proud of me. I did not go the way he wanted. And that guy’s going to jail. And then finally, my favorite Florida men of the Florida stories that are out there today, a guy named Landon Morris. was caught doing donuts in a church parking lot. I have some of the ABC, or excuse me, this is NBC News, locally in Gulf Coast, Florida, in the Gulf Coast of Florida, that’s talking about this. So let’s go ahead and play on that.
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After he was caught doing donuts in a church parking lot, all to impress the girl he was with.
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The man’s Corvette tires were screeching at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witness on Gulf Coast Boulevard in Englewood.
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Some immediate thoughts here. My first one is that if you’re driving around with a young woman who I guess admitted to the police that she asked him to do the donuts in his cool Corvette car and you pull into the parking lot of the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses Church, like that’s the place you’re going to impress her. And then you do the donuts there that you might have been able to pick another location. But it’s my favorite part of this story is that he’s doing the donuts there. A cop show up. There’s still smoke bellowing from the car. Things are crazy. Like, hey, man, this isn’t legal. You’re not allowed to do this. By the way, one quick thought on this story. I know this isn’t actually in Miami, although it’s somewhat nearby the area from what I understand. It’s funny to think that a whole bunch of people from the Midwest are there to watch the national championship game. IU will be playing Miami tonight because part of me thinks this is someone from Indiana who did this. Donuts are wildly popular. in parts of the Midwest, especially when it snows and you can slide around in the vehicle. As somebody who at one point lived in Indiana myself, I know this firsthand. The part of me thinks it’s an IU fan that got arrested trying to impress somebody before the game, and now they won’t be able to see it. None of the data supports that. I just think it anyway.
SPEAKER 01 :
This is what I’m talking about. You know, like you have local private property municipal restrictions that disarm you and they want to leave you to be nothing but a defenseless statistic for some predator that they are aiding and abetting by refusing to get these people off the streets. So what do you do to protect yourself when you’re told that you can’t carry your gun? I always carry and I really try to avoid places where I cannot bring my gun. It’s only when I absolutely have to go somewhere that I professional for a professional excursion that I can’t get out of. That’s the only time when I, you know, usually I try to arrange to have armed security, but not every and then I don’t go. But not everybody can do what I do. They can’t be like, oh, can you pay for my armed security if I can’t exercise my Second Amendment rights? You need to have an option to protect yourself. And this also goes for college kids who live alone, who walk to school, walk to campus. You know, I my kids have friends where they’re females and they have five o’clock classes. Sun sets at like six o’clock. They’re walking back to the car park at night. It’s dangerous. This is where you need a Burna gun. Burna shoots chemical irritant projectiles that can deter threats from up to 50 feet away. They have different models. I’m not talking about any of them. The Burna compact launcher is the one you need to look at. It’s CL for short. Roughly the size of an iPhone. Zero recoil. Easy target acquisition. And here’s the kicker. No permits. No background checks. You order the thing online and it sends right to your front door. Compared to a stun gun that’s got one or two rounds, the Burna gun, the Burna CL… has a 15-round shot capacity per cartridge. Give yourself a chance. Have a diverse weapons cache so that you are covered in any situation, every possibility is thought of. Visit Burna.com slash Dana, B-Y-R-N-A. Get your Burna CL, the compact launcher, today. Burna.com slash Dana, ready when you are.
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Terms apply. It’s 2026 and the left still can’t tell us what a woman is, even at the U.S. Supreme Court. The chairman of the Democrat Party likens Iranian freedom protesters to the shrieking anti-ice demonstrations in Minnesota. And what will President Trump do now that Iran has started slaughtering its own people? I’m Greg Karambas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the top news, some good laughs, and we’ll be done in less than 30 minutes. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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I don’t know if people who’ve been listening to the show thought, wow, Craig’s going a while without mentioning the texts heard around the world. These are alleged leaked texts between President Donald Trump and the leaders of Norway saying that the U.S. isn’t so worried about some things the way they should be, at least according to everyone that’s not us, and instead really would like to have Greenland. This is a simple paraphrasing of it. I’m going to play the Fox News report on it, too, as they reported on these leaked texts. And what they mean. And here’s the thing. I want to promise something going into this topic. I do not defend the current president of the United States because I’m some Trump fanboy. And I don’t know why that matters to me that people know that. Not that I dislike a lot of the things Trump has done this time in office. I don’t. But this isn’t because of some weird loyalty that I feel like I have to have to the current president. But I often see where the logic is in the crazy or what a lot of mainstream media will represent as crazy. So I can’t help but wind up sounding defensive on a wide variety of these topics. And I kind of like that position, too. I’ll be honest about this because so few people do it. There’s not a whole lot of people out there that take this approach to some of these stories, especially not even the Fox News of the world and whatnot. But here, here’s the way they reported on some texts that appear to be between our president and another world leader. And they seem to be upset about him not getting the Nobel Peace Prize. That’s the very easy version of discussing it. Here we go.
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We obtained some text messages between the president of Norway and President Trump on Sunday. The prime minister of Norway, excuse me, writes this. Dear Mr. President, dear Donald, we believe we all should work to take this down and de-escalate. So much is happening around us where we need to stand together. We are proposing a call with you later today. Now, Trump responds sort of with a jab here. Harris writes, Dear Jonas, considering your country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped eight wars, plus I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of peace. peace, although it will always be predominant, but can now think about what is good and proper for the United States of America. And he goes on to say the world is not secure unless we have complete and total control of Greenland.
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And he signs it, President DJT. By the way, they skipped a part in the middle there, which I could read you. I don’t know if it matters. But anyway… Obviously, this is being covered by most of media and liberal media exactly the way you think it is. The Trump is upset. He’s personally offended that he wasn’t given a Nobel Peace Prize. And for that reason and that reason alone, he wants to invade and take over Greenland. That’s the way they’re discussing it. Now, here’s what actually matters about this, at least to me. No matter how egregious or terrible or awful this tax exchange looks between another world leader and between our president to whoever out there is judging it, it’s actually just communication back and forth and leveraging of a position in order to try to get what you want. It’s not actually us invading Greenland. That part hasn’t happened yet. But if you pay attention to most liberal media, you’d think it had. by the way that they discuss this and how terrible this is or whatever this might be. Now, I’ll say something else, and this is to demonstrate that I’m not just bending the knee for the sake of bending it. Does this mean that I think this was a good idea? No, I don’t think that. If I was someone advising the current president of the United States and I saw him punching out this text message that he was going to fire off to another world leader, I might have asked him to spruce up the language a little bit differently. He probably wouldn’t have listened to me, but I might have gone that road. But nonetheless, I think that Trump wants the world to think that he is serious about his desire to take Greenland, so they give it to him. I think this is one of the art of the deal sort of things, however crazy it sounds. And actually, I’m going to use a ridiculous example, and I’m aware this is ridiculous, but I don’t care. I’m going to use it anyway to try to prove my point. My favorite part, I’m going to go to the world of television. My favorite part of lawyers on TV is how insane they sound. And Landman comes to mind just the other night, if anyone watched that show. But lawyers will barrel into rooms, say the most ridiculous stuff, threaten everybody, and walk out of the room and the character will have won something. People will be like, man, that was great. The thing you just did or the way you handled yourself was awesome. And I think that’s so interesting because That essentially lawyers can be celebrated for being the most insane person in the room because sometimes that toughness alone is what’s needed to win whatever the fight is. And that everybody else will stand down if you seem like the craziest and angriest person in a room. I know this is just television. But I know that actually I’ve seen it happen in other places where lawyers have been asked to intervene in some sort of interaction between, say, businesses and whatnot. And the letters they send are incredibly strongly worded. They’re insane. The toughest person in the room oftentimes wins is one of these versions of thought that exists in our society. And I think this is Trump doing that. I don’t think he wanted this text to be all over media, although I also don’t think he really cared because now today a whole lot more media will be talking about whether or not the U.S. is serious about wanting Greenland and whether or not we think that Denmark is inefficient and being capable of protecting it from Russia and China and any sort of power that might harm us by being influential there. which of course they are, by the way. The other aspects of this that are true, and Trump’s not the first president to discuss this. Other presidents have thought that Greenland was a unique potential avenue for weakness for us and some bad actors in other parts of the world. So I just find it so fascinating that this will be the discussion and this is the way it will go. And again, I want to make sure my opinion on this or at least my position is is perfectly clear to everyone out there. I’m not saying this is the message I would send if I was the president. But again, if you’re going in the rules of being the craziest person in the room, sometimes get you what you want, especially when you’re also the most powerful. and our country is the most powerful, people believing our president is willing to back his words with actions has benefited him multiple times. Whereas other leaders, you can think of Biden or anyone else, when they say the strongly worded thing, and everyone in the room knows that that’s not going to have any action following it, it’s just going to be words, they disregard it. Biden yells at Russia not to invade Ukraine. They do it anyway because they know that these are just simple words and nothing more. Sometimes you go even more in the direction of making the words as over the top as you can to try to demonstrate your willingness to do the other part. And actually, there’s one other thing interesting about this. Not necessarily connected, but at least a little bit to me. And this is some of the, I think, Axios reporting and others out there about the US standing down in some sort of strike against Iran. And one of the big reasons that that happened is that essentially Israel called us, Benjamin Netanyahu, the prime minister, called and said we can’t take whatever action militarily we were thinking about taking because Israel wasn’t ready to defend itself from the response attack that wouldn’t be aimed at us, it would be aimed at our ally. And for that reason, The U.S. is believed to have stood down when they actually had a plan in place last week. And there was a lot of moving parts that almost ended in a strike from the United States on, you know, people that Trump has threatened. Another country that Trump has threatened and said, stop shooting your protesters or we’re going to do something. I think that’s a really interesting caveat to that story because some are going to say out there that Trump, you know, threatened and never intended to act. And others are going to say that, well, what actually happened was a convenient intervening by a, you know, other world leader that asked us to stand down, at least for now. So I think the biggest thing moving forward is to pay attention to that story and what inevitably happens. Will there eventually be some sort of military strike? The United States does as efficiently as the one we did to remove Maduro from Venezuela. I don’t know, but I will pay attention because those are the things that inevitably get you the stuff you want. And good or bad to many people here in this country, Trump very much wants control of Greenland. And he thinks it’s good for us. And he’s not alone in thinking that. A whole lot of other experts, other people, other world leaders, other American leaders have thought the exact same thing. He’s just someone who’s going about it quite a bit differently than others do.
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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five. That’s right. It’s time for a quick five on the Dana Show. D. Lash, Dana Lash Radio on X on Twitter. Great ways to stay connected to her. Aerobic exercise makes the brain younger. We just don’t know why. Scientists have shown time and again the value of doing some exercise, especially aerobic exercise, as I said, mostly because it helps you think. You think better. You’re younger in your brain is the way that they say it in the story. But I don’t know. You can say it any way you want. But nonetheless, what I find so funny about this is we just got to continue to raise our hands in the air and be like, it does it. We don’t know why. We don’t really care. I just go ahead and do some aerobic exercise and enjoy the sweet, sweet benefits of it. And that’s fine with me. Other things out there. Trump plans to use an executive order to keep the Army Navy game exclusive, blocking any sort of playoff football from overlapping with it. I think this is awesome. I think this is awesome on a And at times, either of the two teams can be ranked inside the top 25. But mostly, it’s just a really nice, long-running tradition that matters in our country. The Army-Navy game is one of our greatest American traditions. That’s what Trump said on Truth Social. Unmatched patriotism, courage, and honor. It deserves to have its own day. I agree wholeheartedly, sir. And I’m glad that you actually care about something like that. These are things that I enjoy a lot when he talks about and then uses… his authority to actually intervene in some way. More than 60% of Americans are using AI. This isn’t just at work. This is just in general. But six out of 10 adults have said that over the last year, they’ve used AI to do something, whether it’s just ask questions and figure things out or actually do maybe schoolwork or even work at your job. Here’s the other thing that’s weird about this. It’s caused people to want to have grandma hobbies. which is what they’re calling them, which is the exact opposite of using AI. Anyone who embraces technology also wants to find a way to get away from it as much as possible. And this could be anything. This is writing handwritten letters to people, handmade crafts like watercolors or origami. Knitting is becoming popular with some people, definitely not with me. Film, photography, listening to music on vinyl, all things that the young kids think they’re doing that’s original, that is the opposite of, say, the artificial intelligence stuff that is so prominent in our society now. And then finally, one last story that’s kind of crazy. A delivery drone, so nothing that involved a human, but just a drone, decided to stop on a train track while delivering, I think, Uber Eats food. This is in Miami, Florida. The drone eventually got destroyed by a train because that’s usually what happens when you have a thing just stop on a train track for no reason whatsoever. But people are asking questions now. They’re wondering if the drone did this on purpose, if it just wanted to stop delivering Uber Eats food or what else could be at play here. And I think there even is audio. I don’t know how valuable this audio is to play on the radio, but darn it, let’s go ahead and do it. Essentially, I think a dog is trying to bark and give the drone a heads up that it shouldn’t be in the way of the train track and it doesn’t care and it gets destroyed. The dog is fine, by the way. I don’t know why that audio sounds like the dog got hurt somehow, but if I play it again, there’s like a at the end of that for some odd reason, but it’s just a drone getting destroyed and a dog being like, ah, but no. Again, the dog is fine. I don’t know why that audio went viral the way it did. It makes it sound like something else happened. But nonetheless, yeah, the dog trying to help the robot. Nobody won in that fight. Well, the train, I guess, won in that fight because it’s going to win nine or ten times out of ten when doing that sort of thing. But this is why the robot uprising is largely exaggerated, I think, because every so often we’ll see a terrible thing happen where self-driving cars just stop in the middle of the road or an Uber Eats drone is just like, I’ve had enough. I’m done. Go ahead and take me now as far as the train goes. So that’s out there for you to see if you want to go watch the video, which is, in fact, better than the audio.
SPEAKER 05 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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