Dive into today’s episode of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast as we navigate through a series of wild and entertaining stories. From the peculiar cases of ‘Florida Man’ to discussing San Francisco’s new consultant role on weight stigma, each segment showcases the humor and realities of modern life. Our show doesn’t shy away from tough conversations, tackling Obamacare’s implications on personal responsibility alongside unexpected Florida antics.
Welcome to Pro Tips for the Pros, brought to you by Floor & Decor Parsippany. In this series, we’ll explore essential advice for professional contractors to deliver outstanding renovation results. Let’s dive in. Before starting any renovation project, take the time to plan meticulously. Assess the customer’s needs, budget, and timeline to ensure a smooth and successful renovation process. Thank you for joining us for this pro tip on planning thorough renovations. Stay tuned for more expert advice, brought to you by Floor & Decor Parsippany.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 05 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 07 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 04 :
This is the most of the stories I’m starting off like that. So a guy, a Florida guy nicknamed Shroom decided – Decided to settle a $150 debt by going to an apartment to get to, I guess, to collect $150. And they call the guy the victim, I guess, the victim who owned, who supposedly owed him money. He was just there playing video games. The three dudes, including Shroom, was among them. Busted on his door. They roughed him up. The victim got pistol whipped. And then the victim recognized one of the masked men. And that was his old buddy Shroom, who’s Lazaro Gonzalez Gonzalez. I don’t know why he has two of the same name, but he does. Well, I don’t get that. He kind of looks like a shroom, I guess. And yes, the victim did owe $150. But Instead of working out a payment plan, he declared that the three men destroyed $150 of his own property. So they decided that that was even. But Shroom did go to jail for assault. That’s just one of the – I’m trying to get over his name. That’s the biggest offense in this piece. Florida man lost a drone to an alligator after flying it too close to the water. We need to get some of these gators up in Jersey. Drone operators – I never heard of that, of where a gator got it. And this story, by the way, that’s written by a website called Motor Biscuit, they don’t know how to write stories because they bury the lead four graphs down. But a guy in Florida obviously flew his drone way too close to a gator. He was trying to get a good shot of it. And I guess he didn’t realize that gators can actually propel themselves up out of the water with their tails. And that’s exactly what happened. The gator just like jumped up like a great white shark would jump up. He jumped up out of the water and grabbed the drone and then went into a death roll. So that guy’s not going to get his drone back, Kane. I don’t think that guy’s – I think that’s a loss. Yeah, that’s definitely a loss. Yeah, that’s not – that ain’t never coming back. It’s never, ever coming back. Let’s see. This guy – stole a Rolls Royce and crashed it into a checkers. Now I had to stop here because I haven’t heard of that place in a long time. That’s the hamburger place, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The rallies and the checkers. Because didn’t checkers buy rallies or something like that? Okay. It was a Rolls Royce SUV and it was stolen from a valet at a Fort Lauderdale hotel and they crashed it into a checkers at 2.15 a.m. A Rolls Royce. I don’t even know. It’s an SUV. I mean, maybe he was like super hungry. By the way, the restaurant where he crashed it was barely six miles away from the hotel. Mm hmm. And the punishment in Florida for grand theft auto is actually based on the value of the property stolen. And the top tier is any vehicle over $100,000. And this is even more than that. So this guy is looking to face up to 30 years in jail. For taking a six, barely six mile joyride, stealing a Rolls Royce SUV and crashing it into a checkers. So I don’t know the guy who, by the way, the Rolls Royce owner, he told CBS News Miami that he was sleeping and they valet went and knocked on his door or the hotel did. And they said it was stolen from the valet. So, yeah, it wasn’t found at the checkers. It was found inside the checkers because he reined it. ran it in there uh let’s see this guy i’m not reading that uh this because it’s gross i’m not doing that can we just not with the stories about everybody exposing themselves what is up with that is it just because it’s humid down there i don’t know a florida man was arrested during a treehouse robbery yeah i don’t know and there’s crack cocaine involved Florida authorities arrested a guy because police said he stabbed a man to death during a robbery in a tree house. It stemmed from a crack deal. Of course it did. Monroe County Sheriff’s deputies say the victim, 59-year-old Matthew Bonnet, was trying to help a neighbor who was being robbed by two mask men. The female victim lived in a treehouse in the trailer park. So she didn’t have a trailer in the trailer park. She had a treehouse in the trailer park. And I guess they climbed up there and the deal went sideways and they stabbed her. The guy’s being held in Monroe County Jail.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, there you go. Welcome to Pro Tips for the Pros, brought to you by Floor & Decor Parsippany. In this series, we’ll explore essential advice for professional contractors to deliver outstanding renovation results. Let’s dive in. Prioritize quality craftsmanship and materials to deliver results that exceed the customer’s expectations. Attention to detail and superior workmanship will leave a lasting impression and ensure customer satisfaction. Thank you for joining us for this pro tip on planning thorough renovations. Stay tuned for more expert advice brought to you by Florin Decor Parsippany.
SPEAKER 01 :
A lot of people tolerate ordinary. Ordinary bathrooms, kitchens, entryways. Well, not on your watch. If you’re a pro, you’ve got a new partner in town. Floor & Decor. From tile to wood to stone, Floor & Decor has more styles and job lock quantities of Schluter, Mapei, Ladecrete, and other brands pros trust. Come see a whole new way to wow with Floor & Decor. Now open in Parsippany.
SPEAKER 04 :
San Francisco has a new government position. Did you hear about this? No. Yeah. It is a consultant. I’m not going to play this whole video because it’s stupid. Well, maybe I will, actually. This person is supposed to be the, checks notes, weight stigma czar. What? Mm-hmm. Now, Cain, I want you to tell me if the person whose image I just placed in Slack is qualified to be the Chex Notes weight stigma czar.
SPEAKER 07 :
Well, she’d… No. I almost went on a tangent there, but no. Juan’s going to be putting up a quick little video of her in action.
SPEAKER 04 :
What is weight neutrality?
SPEAKER 07 :
I think that’s in space, right? You’re weightless?
SPEAKER 04 :
We’ll play this when he gets it. It’s that ridiculous. She’s working with a team at the San Francisco Department of Public Health, it says here, as a consultant on weight stigma and weight neutrality. What is weight neutrality? What is that? Is that a thing?
SPEAKER 07 :
Does it have a flag? I guess if you’re just neutral about the idea of weight or extra weight. Your guess is as good as mine, but Juan’s ready if you’re ready.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, please. Let’s hear this. I’m sorry.
SPEAKER 06 :
Hi, my name is Virgie Tovar, and I’m the author of You Have the Right to Remain Fat, as well as a few other books on fat positivity and body acceptance. When I think about what people might be surprised by or what you wouldn’t think of when you think of eating disorders, I immediately think of being a kid. I was a kid in a larger body, a teen in a larger body, and also an adult in a larger body. And the message I always got from my doctor was, shrink your body by any means necessary. And it really felt like there was a sense of a don’t ask, don’t tell. So because I truly, truly, truly believed. And this is where I think the surprise comes in. I really believed that this was about my health. I really believed that my doctor was right. Because why would I believe anything?
SPEAKER 07 :
That’s real.
SPEAKER 04 :
That’s real. Your doctor was right. And it’s not… Let’s not do fat positivity. I don’t believe in fat shaming people unless, you know, the calls for it. But people pointing out that your obesity is a comorbidity is a health issue. That’s not people trying to be mean. And I think people need to stop being victims. Stop being a victim. I mean, come on. Seriously. It’s… I… really don’t understand this idea. Was this a backlash to the heroin chic of the 90s? Is that what we’re living with still?
SPEAKER 07 :
What I don’t get is imagine any other health concern, whether it’s diabetes or whether it’s just anything health-wise. Would you encourage people to continue behavior that would exasperate or make that health problem worse? Would you do that? Would you affirm them? Knowing that it would make their problem worse?
SPEAKER 04 :
Why would you do that? When she says, you know, you have a right to be fat or whatever, you don’t. And here’s why. You don’t. Absolutely, you blink and do not. And here’s why. Absolutely. After Obamacare passed and we all had to pay higher insurance premiums to pay for people who didn’t or couldn’t want to pay, oh, I get to have a say in all of that. So you don’t get any rights because you invited my tax dollars in. And where my tax dollars go, I follow with a boot in the door. That’s what happens. No, I get to be involved in it. Yeah, you don’t.
SPEAKER 07 :
My body, my choice.
SPEAKER 04 :
No, no. It’s not my choice to pay your damn bills, so it’s not your body to make a choice of. No. If my money goes to it, I’m the boss of you. I will go and knock that zinger right the hell out your hand, and I’ll put a carrot in its place, okay? Oh, you want to have a little Debbie’s fudge round? Eat some cucumber or broccoli. Stop it. I have a right too. I have a right to go where my tax dollars go. And if you’re sucking up more of my tax dollars because you can’t get a handle on your weight, then that’s a problem for me. I shouldn’t have to subsidize that. No one thought of that when they were pushing for the expansion of Obamacare and jacking up everybody’s premiums so that we would have to pay for everyone else’s care. So no. And everyone’s like, oh, Dana. Look, I work really hard. To stay in shape and I eat healthy and I do intermittent fasting. I do all of that stuff. I’ve always worked out. I’ve always been athletic. I’ve always maintained. And it’s not because a privilege just decided to, you know, a fairy godmother apparated out of the ether and was like, I’m going to make you like this forever. It’s you actually it’s an effort. And I don’t want to hear about anyone else’s problems or excuses. I don’t care. Make the effort. And don’t expect me to pay your medical bills because that’s the situation we’re all in. And as a result, no one can say that they have a right to be this or that. Since you wanted, you asked for this. We warned you. Don’t say that we didn’t warn you because we did. But back to my first question. What the hell is weight neutrality? What is that? Like I’m trying to imagine. So, you know, we have a lot of truckers that listen. God love them. Is that like when do they do that for the weight on your truck? You know, like if you go in and you’re a weigh station and they’re like, oh, you’re weight neutral to a truck and they’re low. Do they say that?
SPEAKER 1 :
No.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, I don’t know.
SPEAKER 07 :
I’m pretty positive. No.
SPEAKER 04 :
I’m just fascinated by I’ve never I’m today years old. I’ve never heard of that phrase. The whole weight neutrality thing. Right now, I will say this. I do think that some chicks can go way too far the other way. Like I always bring up Madonna as an example. She at some point as you age, my grandmother always said at one point in her life, a woman has to choose between her face or her body. Now, I’ve already told you guys, maybe I haven’t been public about it, what my goal is. Because everyone always thinks I’ve never had plastic surgery or anything like that for the love. But I do have a plan to combat wrinkles when it starts setting in. I mean, I got a little bit here and there. But I got a plan. You want to know my plan? I’m going to get fat. It’s a natural filler. I’m just going to… Because I choose face… That’s it. I choose face because you can’t hide ugly. That’s why.
SPEAKER 07 :
Do you have the right to be fat then at that point?
SPEAKER 04 :
Well, I’m going to do it in like a healthy way. I’m not going to be like morbidly obese. That’s totally my plan. All right. My grandmother was like, and she said the age is different. What she told me was that she was like, at some point in her life, a woman has to choose between face or body. And I’m like, well, she’s like, you won’t know until you get there. And then she looked at me and she was like, I chose face. She was like, that’s why she was like very proud. She’s like, that’s why I chose face. That’s why I don’t have hardly no wrinkles. That’s what she would say. And I get it. So that’s my that’s my I’m kind of joking, but not really. That’s my whole goal. But not like morbidly obese. Just, you know. I’m just saying. It’s all natural. But there’s a difference. You don’t want to be like visceral and tawny like Madonna, right? I don’t want to see like your… your ligaments and stuff. Like I don’t, you, a woman shouldn’t look like beef jerky. You know what I mean? Like you’re supposed to be soft. I don’t, don’t, don’t be brainwashed by these, you know, fourth wave fem bots into thinking that you can’t have any fat on your body. Women need it. And especially as you get older, you know, you’re, you’re, you need that, extra especially if you get older because you know it helps you when you’re an older age so anyway i still don’t understand what weight neutral is i’m gonna hear from every trucker who listens to us i am gonna get treaties on it that’s what’s gonna happen like big essays on it i can’t wait all right we got we we got a lot more to come as uh we roll towards where are we at oh my gosh are we already at headlines is this already the third hour Bye. Bye. With All Family, it’s simple. You can choose the individual medications that best suit your needs or opt for one of their comprehensive treatment packages designed to give you everything that you need in one convenient order. And every order comes with a doctor’s prescription included. Ivermectin. hydroxychloroquine, or any other effective medications, they have it all. And you can get fast shipping with most order shipping in two to three business days. Medications start as low as $3 per capsule, making it really easy to take charge of your health without breaking the bank. No insurance needed. You can skip the paperwork and get the treatments you need directly. Stock up with their emergency preparedness bundles and access over 200 medications online anytime. Visit allfamilypharma.com slash Dana and use code Dana10 for 10% off of your entire order. That’s allfamilypharma.com slash Dana, code Dana10.
SPEAKER 07 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 04 :
TikTok is asking the Supreme Court to block a law that could ban the app. I think it’s I do think it’s weird that we can’t convince people because people are sheep. We can’t convince people to stop using TikTok. So we’re just going to have the government ban it because we can’t. We apparently telling them that you’re literally being a prostitute for the CCP. And having your information harvested by them, that’s not enough to appeal to people’s common sense, good nature or brainpower. So we’re having to have the Supreme Court. We’re begging them to come and block it because people are stupid and asteroids should come and obliterate this rock. Merry Christmas. That’s just dumb to me that we do this. Ban everything. We’re going to talk about this coming up. Friendship after 50. Apparently they I don’t care about this headline. I don’t really care. Moving on. Nobody cares. I don’t care. I don’t care. Go make friends or don’t. Don’t bitch about it to me. I don’t care.
SPEAKER 07 :
Monday for some reason.
SPEAKER 04 :
I’m just done. Start putting a startup that puts ammo. Oh, now this one. Ammo vending machines and grocery stores?
SPEAKER 07 :
Let’s investigate this.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yes, please. I need to get it. Hang on. Wait. Everybody hold up. Pause the show. I need to make a note of who this is so I can play into it. Okay. Just anyway, back to the headline. Ammo vending machines and grocery stores. There’s a startup that plans to grow this and expand it. It’s based in Dallas. Yay! American Rounds rolled its first automated retail ammo. It’s in a grocery store, but it’s in Pell City, Alabama. Why are you going to Bama? Why can’t you come do that here? All kinds of ammo. That actually is amazing. And then, of course, you have people who are like, you have a social responsibility to make it possible, blah, blah, blah. Or no, you don’t. Other people do.
SPEAKER 07 :
When I was younger, I had a friend that had a soda machine in his garage, and I thought that was the coolest thing ever. I would love an ammo machine in my garage.
SPEAKER 04 :
Why? I want one in my garage that someone can just come and they serve it. Service it. I love this. But this idea that companies have a social. No, they don’t. Shut up. That’s you. That’s when people are too lazy. I’m too lazy and stupid to have my own responsibility about society. So I’m going to ask the companies that make products I purchase to do it for me. Shut up. Let’s see here. Moving on. Because that’s a good one. Species in Chernobyl of fungus is mutating to feed on nuclear radiation. That’s actually kind of cool. Maybe we can send that out on the drone since we lost nuclear. I mean, great job, Biden. Great job. You literally have one job. But it’s mutating to feed on nuclear radiation. I feel like this is some kid’s crazy science experiment in a way, right? And they’re trying to say that X has a declining user base. And that’s from Mashable, which is the same. It brings you the same journalistic news and literary value as smearing feces on a dive bar bathroom wall. Same thing. I almost couldn’t believe this when I saw it. I don’t know who this Clarissa Ward is. People keep saying that she’s an actress and I wasn’t familiar with her. She’s like decided to, she’s a British person with CNN. I guess she was, I don’t know. She started at Fox and I don’t know why they say that she’s like this, like an actress or something, but she’s, I don’t know. She’s very dramatic, as you will if you’ve watched any of this footage when she’s gone and saved this dude. So they had this segment on CNN where Clarissa Ward was over there in Syria and she’s reporting on the collapse of the Assad regime and all this stuff. And She saves they save this save this guy who is apparently and it was all staged. They acted like they were rescuing him from a prison. And as it turns out, he was actually an intelligence officer in the Assad regime. And I guess he was acting like he was a prisoner. And he was acting like he had been kept prisoner. And he’s really putting on this big show of being freed. And it turns out he was not only an intelligence officer with the Assad regime, but he also was one of his main torturers. Yeah. The main torturers. One of the big guys that Assad used. And They brought him out. And he’s like hugging. He hugged Clarissa Ward. And he acts like he’s so relieved. Like, I can’t believe it. Like this poor innocent man that we’ve saved. We saved him from the presence. And he was just kept against his will. And he was one of the baddies. I mean, they’re all baddies at this point. But he was one of the legit baddies over there. So now CNN had to admit… This was a headline that they had, quote, freed prisoner who said he was a victim of the Assad regime was an intelligence officer, locals say. He was actually a literal lieutenant in the Air Force Intelligence Directorate. Oh, oh, they helped free this guy. He’s known for harassment and extortion and all kinds of stuff, all kinds of stuff. You know, CNN, the guy who literally looked at this Syrian interrogator, this baddie, and they thought he was an innocent torture victim. Oh, he’s leaning on her. Oh, my gosh.
SPEAKER 03 :
He’s like, I’m so happy. I’m so happy. I can barely walk. Someone get him a chair, this poor man.
SPEAKER 04 :
CNN has a member of the Assad regime that their state. And here’s the other thing. They take the guy out of the prison cell. What does she do? They sit him down and they immediately go into an interview. They weren’t even even if he wasn’t a torturer, they were not concerned about getting him to a hospital or anything like that. She’s like, oh, no, I’ve got to sit you down and I have to interview you for my program. Let’s do that now. And then he acts like he’s shaking and he can’t eat. He was jailing people. He was torturing people. He’s one of the baddies. He’s one of the baddie baddies.
SPEAKER 03 :
And he acts like he’s, I just, I’m just yet but a simple man. I just can’t, I’m just so sad. I can’t believe you freed me, CNN, you bastion of reporting, the giant of international journalism.
SPEAKER 04 :
Can you imagine being her and then waking up after you think you’ve done like a Pulitzer level story? And this happens because, you know, that’s what she was thinking. She was just like, I watched this. I watched that whole thing. She’s like, let’s get you sit. I mean, she was just. But at the same time, it barely masked her glee at being able to have a story like this. You know, oh, let’s get you for an interview. They pull the guy right out of a cell. They’re like, OK, let’s sit you down in a chair. Now it’s time for an interview. I mean, at least she was thinking business first, I guess. You know, that’s what CNN likes.
SPEAKER 07 :
And I mean, this may not be a popular opinion, but to me, she’s like the female Charles Jaco.
SPEAKER 04 :
Don’t. He’s going to sue the internet again, Cain.
SPEAKER 07 :
Good luck, Charles.
SPEAKER 04 :
Do you guys know who Charles Jaco is? He is a sentient skin tag who has some hair on it, and he came from St.
SPEAKER 07 :
Louis. What you said is worse than what I said.
SPEAKER 04 :
No. I mean, you said that. I was like, burn. But no. So Charles Jaco is the sentient skin tag. Oh. It was the couple of stray hairs on him. And it’s he it started reporting for CNN. And he like apparently faked this whole report about being in Iraq or something like that.
SPEAKER 07 :
And he was on a set shelled and bombed.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. And he acted like he was getting bombed and shows the worst acting I’ve ever seen in my life. And then later, this was like 13, 14 years ago. He people on the Internet were making fun of him. And he legit threatened to sue the entire Internet. And I was here because when I started on radio, I started at a station in St. Louis and he used to work. It was a cluster. He used to work at one of the other stations there. And the story goes is that he would go take his coffee cup of coffee that he drank and And to warm it up, he would go, he would pour it into the coffee pot, swirl it around and then pour it back into his mug. And he got caught like a couple of different times, according to numerous people that worked. I was only told this. I didn’t say this. Other people did. And, uh, that’s nasty.
SPEAKER 07 :
It’s illegal, isn’t it?
SPEAKER 04 :
I don’t know. I mean, this was like back in like the early aughts. So I don’t know. I wasn’t, I don’t know. I think when he was there, it was like the late nineties. I was totally not there at that time. But, uh, Oh, and he was so nasty towards me, but I always felt bad for him because he was, you know, a skin tag. And, you know, I don’t know what kind of future they have. So sad.
SPEAKER 07 :
But yeah, she reminds me of him. They have the same look in their eyeballs. They have the same work ethic, it appears. And people respond to them the same way. And I’ve seen all these videos on Miss Ward getting approached by different nationalities, different people, just scolding her over their misrepresentation and reporting.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, the guy was like, I’m a civilian. And he was like, my captors have beaten me. And you could just see the look on her face. She was trying to hide it like, this is too good to be true. And as it turned out, then there was a news outlet that published a photo of this guy. He gave her a fake name and everything. He said his name was Adel Gerbal. That dude does not even exist. They found out that he is First Lieutenant Salama Mohammed Salama of the Air Force Intelligence Directorate, literally the agency that runs the prison. He runs the prison. She thought she was getting this poor victim. Instead, she got literally the guy who was running the prison. And what gets me is that they didn’t even bother verifying anything. They’re like, oh, let’s take this man out. Let’s take this man and put him in a tent and interview him immediately. Got to have the exclusive. You notice something about him in Slack. What did you say in Slack about him?
SPEAKER 07 :
Oh, yeah, that he was perfectly manicured and he wasn’t dirty. That jacket looked pretty.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, he didn’t look like he was starved or nothing either. You know, like a prisoner would want to look like a prisoner would look like. Yeah. So and people were saying that they did not trust her story. And there were apparently even some Syrians there like what CNN, what you doing? What? What? What? This is no, this is not how you do the journalism. Not. And they said it came to your point. They said he was too well groomed and did not act like someone who was locked in a dungeon for three months. And that is per number of people on Verify Sci.
SPEAKER 07 :
That’s why I have to wonder, because Charles Jaco was with CNN back in the late 80s, early 90s. And so now we have Claire Sir Ward, CNN, all about faking wartime stories around times of tension. Is that intentional by CNN for decades now? That just seems weird.
SPEAKER 04 :
It’s a good point that you make. I don’t know. I’m just saying. But I don’t think she’s going to get that Pulitzer, though.
SPEAKER 05 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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