Mike and Mark continue their debate from last week over if New York City should have Horse Drawn Carriages.
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SPEAKER 01 :
Mike makes your day that he does certainly makes mine. And that of course is a vintage from what show Mike?
SPEAKER 02 :
I don’t have any idea. I’ve played this thing 10 times. I’ve tried to block it out of my mind.
SPEAKER 03 :
Okay, talk show. So it has a kind of a cheesy 80s feel. There you go. The Mike Douglas show. Now, why would I do that? Number one, I love you. Mike does make our day. It is Mike Douglas’s birthday. Do you remember catching the show at some point in your youth?
SPEAKER 02 :
I think I missed Mike Douglas. I remember Ruth Griffin.
SPEAKER 03 :
Mike Douglas was a big daytime player in the industry. Mike Douglas born this date 105 years ago. Mike was like in his 50s, 60s through his heyday. So Mike Douglas’ birthday, this date, 1920, I attended a taping. Did you ever in your ute, speaking of your ute, You ever get out to California? I mean, you’re showbiz, Mike. I did. To attend the taping of a TV show.
SPEAKER 02 :
Tonight’s show with Johnny Carson.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, well, you went on this story. Roughly when and who were the guests?
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, I don’t know. A hundred years ago, I was so fascinated by the mechanics of the show. I watched Carson. I watched Doc Severinsen. I just thought it was so cool how they all show… The thing that I remember before I distract from your story is that… I was fascinated by how quiet and businesslike they all were. They all just showed up. They sat down. And then once the red light went on and the music started, then they all came to life. And they were all on. But I thought, gosh, they really are performers. So they’re not really always using… They’re not always that jovial, you know, off air. And the story about Carson never talking to a guest on the commercial breaks is absolutely 100% true. I can confirm. I saw with my own eyes. They dimmed the lights. He said, we’ll be right back. And they go into the break. And he just sat there drumming his pencil and would never even look at the guest sitting three feet away from him. He didn’t like to talk to them on the breaks.
SPEAKER 03 :
Is that him being standoffish, which it probably is, because Johnny Carson, entertainment genius, unbelievable, life-changing. I can’t say enough about what Johnny Carson did. It was just him being standoffish and weird. Or I can almost see if there’s some magical moment that you have with a guest during the commercial breaks, you’ve wasted it.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, look how you and I will talk about stuff the night before a show, and we say, no, no, no, save it, save it, save it for 735. Yeah, so I think he didn’t want… Larry King never read a book because he wanted to be inquisitive.
SPEAKER 03 :
Kills me, kills me, kills me. And I obviously love Larry King, too. Grew up listening to him. If Larry King could make AM radio work at 3 o’clock in the morning, it meant all of us could. And before Rush shot an incredible… Vitamin B shot into our entire industry. Larry King was getting the talk radio thing going, I never read a book by the author. I never read a book because then I wouldn’t know what questions to ask. I love Larry. It’s the dumbest thing he ever said. Because if you do read a book, then you know, if you never read the book, you can never say, hey, author Joe Smith, why do you on page 212 say this, this, and this?
SPEAKER 02 :
I would have to, again, agree to disagree. I think he was a great interviewer. Oh, of course he was. Did you think he was a bad interviewer? Well, guess what? Well, that’s what he did to make it work, dummy. He made it work.
SPEAKER 03 :
Would have been better.
SPEAKER 02 :
He made it work. No, it wouldn’t have been. He was fantastic. You’re just jealous. You’re jealous of his success. He’s just lazy. No, I wasn’t lazy. It was his technique. I don’t like reading the book. It was his technique. That was the way he did it. And he came from a place of not… There’s somebody else that does something like that, and I can’t think of what it is, but it’s the same analogy.
SPEAKER 03 :
Slacks off on stuff and then tries to make it sound honorable.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, you should have slacked off. You slacked off when you didn’t know the facts about the death of the carriage horse in New York last week.
SPEAKER 03 :
Give me 60 seconds before you properly blister me about that, but it won’t matter because I’m still right. My friend Mark Gordon and I hopped in my 1976 Buick Century and drove out to California and then back. We just visited friends, blah, blah, blah. And we attended a taping. I’d never been to a TV show taping in my life. And it was Mike Douglas, May of 1979. Wow. And one of the guests was Ray Parker of Radio, R-A-Y-D-I-O, pre-Ghostbusters. Of course, he did Who You Gonna Call, big hit film. Before that, they had a thing, think the world, think the whole world of you, and you can’t change that, can’t change that. Big Hit, they came out, and of course, lip synced it, which of course, it’s daytime TV, and it was just the weirdest thing in the world, because I know what the record sounds like, and I know what live music sounds like. I didn’t necessarily expect it to be like the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, where they’re actually playing and singing, but it was so, so weird. The drummer not really drumming. How many sheets?
SPEAKER 02 :
How many shoots in the theater, in the TV studio? Not many, right?
SPEAKER 03 :
That’s the thing I wanted to ask you about Johnny Carson, is when people go to the Carson, what do they think? It’s an amphitheater with 5,000 people? It’s just a few hundred, right? Because with the Mike Douglas taping, it was about 200 people.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, that’s what it was. Well, Carson was about 500, I think, but it was not many. All those sitcoms, I mean, Denise got to watch a taping of either King of Queens or Everybody Loves Raymond. Oh, my. Which was gold for her.
SPEAKER 03 :
Live audience, three cameras, right?
SPEAKER 02 :
Yep.
SPEAKER 03 :
And who gave birth to that?
SPEAKER 02 :
Desi Arnaz. Who gave birth to that? Desi Arnaz.
SPEAKER 03 :
The book is called Desi Arnaz, The Man Who Invented Television. And this is before either of us were born. But we all grew up. Who didn’t grow up watching I Love Lucy? The story of that era of television, early 50s. And unlike your Beverly Hillbillies, Gilligan’s Island, I Dream of Jeannie, shows I love that are just campy and kind of shallow and really kind of silly. I Love Lucy is high art, high comedy to this day.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, let’s not put this off any longer. Headline, because last week, Mark Davis, oh, the poor horses in New York, they’re all dropping dead from heat exhaustion. It’s so terrible for these poor horses. Oh, we’ve got to put the horses out to pasture. I mean, Mr. PETA over here, Mark Davis, and because a horse died, which is very sad.
SPEAKER 03 :
On the streets of New York.
SPEAKER 02 :
Named lady crumpled to the ground in Hell’s Kitchen just a block away from her stable, sending Mark Davis into spasms of, oh, the poor horse, it’s so hot in New York, and the horns are honking. Oh, well, look at this. What do I see here? I don’t like it.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 03 :
Well, you said before you tell me what you see, you said Nostradamus once again. I’m sitting here lamenting the horse dropping dead because I’m just thinking twice about that industry, as is Republican mayoral candidate Curtis Lewa. And I thought, I just don’t know. And then you literally that day said, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You began to scoff and you scoffed in a very precious way. You said, did the horse have an aneurysm? Did the horse have a heart condition? And I learned something. You literally said, let’s see the autopsy. On an animal, it’s not an autopsy. It’s a necropsy.
SPEAKER 02 :
Necropsy. Well, the necropsy revealed. They did. And share those results, Dr. Mike. Dr. Mike was right. The poor horse had a small tumor in her adrenal gland that likely caused an aortic rupture.
SPEAKER 03 :
Would have died if it were on a farm in Kentucky.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you. You are correct about that horse, and I’m still right. Terrible. No, you’re not. Oh, yeah. Don’t let facts get in the way of your feelings.
SPEAKER 03 :
Did you literally say those horses are wonderfully taken care of?
SPEAKER 02 :
They’re better taken care of than most Americans. And you know why? Because of bleeding hearts like you, you force the carriage industry. I’ve been there. I’ve been into those stables. They are air conditioned. They’re heated. They are so taken care of. Those horses do just fine. Leave the industry alone. Let those poor Irish immigrants make a living. Irish. It’s 1930. Oh, Mr. Gallagher, would you like to be seen in Central Park today? Well, they are.
SPEAKER 03 :
They all have Irish accents. The guy who did mine was like a combination Ukrainian-Lithuanian. Where do you want to go? I show you Times Square.
SPEAKER 02 :
But, Mark, isn’t it crazy how there are industries that are populated by a certain ethnicity or demographic? Look at the motel industry. Every motel manager in America is named Patel. Every one of them. They are all Indians. It’s true, though, and it’s kind of weird how that happens. I was going to go convenience stores for the Indians. But motels. Like motel, not necessarily, you know, I don’t mean to be, but yeah, like Motel 6 and Holiday Inns. The industry is run by the Indian people. Good for them. Good for them. But how does that happen? Is there a club?
SPEAKER 03 :
Do they all get together and say, well, I’ll tell you, you know, the short answer is yes. And by that, I guess we mean because I’ve talked to people about this. And as we get even further into this, our Jewish friends. Why do they, like, own so much, run so much? It’s because unbelievable networking, incredible family and business connections and loyalty and long memories and business acumen. It’s because they work their butts off and it succeeds for them, creating in others envy at times.
SPEAKER 02 :
The appreciating comments from Mark Davis, D-A-V-I-S, at Mark Davis, at X, the Jewish people. Nothing but good things. Okay, that’s all good. It’s all positive. It’s not so positive with the Sunday morning shows. I love what you said about watching Kristen Welker. I mean, these Democrats are in such a pathetic position. Eric Holder went on one of them. And within 60 seconds, he said, gerrymandering is the worst possible thing that could possibly happen. It’s an end to the democracy. It’s terribly old. And then he turned around and said, we’re going to gerrymander. Exactly. The Democrat states are going to do it. If they think it’s so bad, why are they doing it? It’s hysterical. They’ve got, as you said last week perfectly, they’ve got nothing. It’s all they’ve got. It’s performative.
SPEAKER 03 :
I’m surprised. I’ll play this. I know you will, too. She has J.B. Pritzker on to say they’re in pontificate about everything. saving democracy, blah, blah, blah. And then she says, okay, Governor Pritzker, I got this report from whoever, whoever’s saying that your state is one of the worst gerrymandered. They said your state of Illinois is like an exhibit A of how not to do it. how can you get up on a high horse and talk about what others are doing when people are saying this about your state? And the Pritzker response was essentially, we’ve got to save democracy.
SPEAKER 02 :
What am I going to have for dinner? I mean, just change the subject. It was pathetic. Meanwhile, did you see the UCLA student at the graduation ceremony? F. Ice and F. Donald Trump. She gets up. She’s delivering a speech?
SPEAKER 03 :
Like the valedictory or something?
SPEAKER 02 :
Valedictorian, whatever. She’s a Chinese-American actress. She wants our country basically destroyed by illegals, I guess. But here’s what’s fascinating. She stands up, as some college kids are apt to do, goes off script and says, F Donald Trump. And she didn’t say F. And F ICE. Right behind her is either a professor or an administrator. I’ve posted the video on my ex-account.
SPEAKER 03 :
Drag her off stage with a hook?
SPEAKER 02 :
nodding his head in agreement and clapping for her. I mean, this is what they do. This is what our college kids are doing. You send your kid to UCLA, that’s what you’re going to get. It’s kind of pathetic in a very, very profound way. And I’ve decided to go to Alaska to catch up with President Trump.
SPEAKER 03 :
I’ll be there the day before he will be. There’s no question as to whether Putin or Zelensky will be there, but Mike Gallagher most surely will be.
SPEAKER 02 :
I will. The cruise leaves Saturday, and I guess the summit is Sunday, right? I think Friday. Or Friday, Saturday? And we take off from Seattle, and then we go to Sitka and Ketchikan, and it’s the Patriots Alaska cruise, and a whole bunch of us are going to be on the ship. We can’t wait for that. Should we do 7.35 from the ship? Oh, don’t tease me, man. What time would it be over there? Don’t tease me. What’s Alaska? Ask Siri, what time is it in Alaska?
SPEAKER 03 :
Alexa, what time is it in Juneau, Alaska?
SPEAKER 1 :
Just to pick a town.
SPEAKER 02 :
In Juneau.
SPEAKER 03 :
Three hours earlier than it is right now.
SPEAKER 02 :
Too early. No way. No way, Jose.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, you committed. Everybody heard him. Everybody heard him. Mike is committed to join us at 4.30 for what we call the 4.35 segment. Mike will be here. I will book it. I will tweet.
SPEAKER 02 :
I was woozy. I was woozy because I was basking in the glow of my victory over the dead carriage horse.
SPEAKER 03 :
Ambient. I mean, when I’m right. During your show. Well, no, during my show, where they sort of overlap. Trump’s going to make D.C. great again. He’s going to talk about crime in D.C., and that’s about crime in every city. Another great day for Trump coming up.
SPEAKER 02 :
It’s a great day in America. Love you. Happy Monday. Crying all of it.
SPEAKER 03 :
Wilbur. As he hits the ground. It is the Mike Gallagher Show. Ready to go as soon as we’re done at 10 on 660 AM. Be answered. 660 AM.