Angie Austin sits down with Katie Millar, author and creator of the Anxiety Healing Program, to explore the importance of positive influences in our children’s lives. They delve into the significance of choosing our words wisely, the impact of peer pressure, and the vitality of creating a compassionate home environment. Packed with insights and personal stories, this episode offers guidance on nurturing future generations with understanding and empathy.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 05 :
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here’s Angie.
SPEAKER 03 :
Hey there, friend. Angie Austin here with The Good News along with Beatrice Bruno, the drill sergeant of life, joining us to talk about the Lord, prayer, and all things good. Hello, friend.
SPEAKER 02 :
Praise the Lord. God bless y’all today. It’s time to talk about something good because, Angie, don’t we see enough bad in the news and in the world and all that stuff? It’s time for some good stuff.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, it gets a little overwhelming, I think, just everything going on in the news. I know in Maui and Hawaii, more videos have been coming out of people escaping the fires and some of the mishaps, missteps that occurred that resulted in additional loss of life. And watching some of those early videos and power lines down and, you know, fire starting, this guy has like a little fire hose and he’s like, here’s my little hose. I don’t know if I could stop that. And it’s like dribbling, you know, his hose is like, It’s not even like squirting. It’s just kind of falling out of the hose. And I’m like, oh, my goodness. And then all these kids, people hugging the shore where they’ve jumped down the seawall and they’re just trying to kind of hang on at the edge to avoid the fire because it’s burning right to the edge of the island. So, yes, I’ve been – That’s one of the reasons I left the TV news business and started the Good News on the radio, because I wanted to be able to talk about the good news of the Bible and positive things. And with your life, I know you just passed an anniversary of your husband passing, and you’ve had a grandbaby in the last just over a year. And you moved cross-country after you lost your husband, and you lived in Texas. You lived up in the Pacific Northwest, up towards Seattle. Yeah. And then you lived on the East Coast. I guess you haven’t gone north yet, but you’ve really taken your ministry on the road. And this last time, I know you stayed in a home and you sold your RV. And you came back here to reboot the Drill Sergeant of Life and to be here for the birth of your granddaughter. And I don’t know, it’s just been an interesting journey as your good friend to watch you go on.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thank you. And thank you for being with me on that journey because… You know, it’s challenging, but it’s very interesting. It really is because I’m looking at God, looking at how he uses me when I go out there and stuff. And a lot of people say, you’re always traveling. Where are you now? You know, we’re just watching how you travel. And that’s just so awesome. And I think God uses me as an example of, you know, how easy it is to really just let yourself trust in God. And trust in him with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding in all your ways. Acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. And that’s from Proverbs, the third chapter, verses five and six, you know. And so I allow myself to just just be obedient to the Lord and just go to the places that he tells me to go. My next assignment is coming up. I’ll be going down to Georgia. And I’m looking forward to it. But yes, there’s fear and trepidation in my heart because I’m not going to know that many people. It’s basically starting all over again. But I’m going to be working with ministries down there and nonprofit organizations in the community and with veterans and all that. So I’m looking forward to that and looking forward to how God is going to be able to use me in that area. I don’t know about this. Tell us about this. Well, I’ll be working with a nonprofit organization called And I’m going to be working in the community. Our organization has been up and around for about, I guess, about 10 or 15 years, and they decided to expand. And in order for them to expand, they need somebody that’s going to be able to take over basically the leadership of it as far as a general manager is concerned. And that will be me. And I’ll be guiding and directing everything for people to get to where they need to be and for us to do the things that we need to do. They’ve been feeding the community. Uh, they’ve been clothing the community. They’ve been doing all these, uh, different things to bring money into the organization. And that’s what I’m going down there for. And who knows, I may have to start another church down there because I was a pastor back in the nineties and, um, It may be time for me to start that back up because there’s a lot inside of me. God has been doing a lot with me and I know how to bring in the disciples of God. And it’s not about me. It’s about God showing them who God is and who God has called them to be and to do the things that they’re called to do. I don’t know how long I’m going to be in Georgia because I was told the other day they said, you know, I think that you’re a nomad. And the definition of nomad is a person that doesn’t stay in one place too long. And so I don’t have to be anywhere. I really don’t. I can go anywhere in the world I want to, you know. And so God has has taken this opportunity to send go into the highways and the byways, Angie.
SPEAKER 03 :
So you don’t know how long you’ll be there. Is there like a minimum amount of time you’ll go?
SPEAKER 02 :
I believe right now it’s like a year because when I was in Virginia, I was there for 13 months. And I heard very specifically when God said to me, your assignment here is over. You know, and it was, yeah, yeah. And it came, I went out to Virginia and I did everything that God said for me to do. And when that time was up, he said, your assignment here is over. And he brought me back to Colorado so that I could rest in him and I could hear from him on where my next place is going to be.
SPEAKER 03 :
And how did this opportunity come about?
SPEAKER 02 :
I met the leader of this organization back in 2015. She had just been given an ambassadorship with the United Nations, and so I met her at the United Nations. And we just really liked each other. I was supposed to ghostwrite a book for her, and that name never came because she’s just busy. She’s always doing stuff. And so she lives in Georgia, and she had started the organization way back then. And she has expanded on it. She has the nonprofit portion and the for profit portion. And as we’ve been talking, because I’m on the board of directors for it, as we’ve been talking and after finding out all the stuff that she does, I say, you know, you really need somebody that’s going to be there with boots on the ground that while you’re traveling, because she does a lot of traveling while you’re traveling, they can take care of what’s going on at the home base. And she said, yeah, I said, if I was there, you wouldn’t have to worry about that. And that’s basically, Angie, that’s how it started. I said, you know, if I was there and she said, yeah, I know I can trust you with it because what you say you’re going to do, you’re going to do it. I said, yeah, you know, and that’s how it started. And then all of a sudden the board asked me, will you come and will you serve in that position? And I said, OK, Lord, is this it? Is this my next assignment? And he really started dealing with me and said, yep, that’s it. And I said, I really don’t want to go to Georgia because it’s so humid.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, my God. Yeah, but you’re going to leave in the fall?
SPEAKER 02 :
I’m going to be leaving here in October, the middle of October.
SPEAKER 03 :
Okay, well, that’s a good time to go, but you’re right. The summer is almost unbearable.
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it’s nothing for them to be in the hundreds, you know, and I’m like, Oh, Lord, Lord, you’re gonna have to help me with this. Because well, when I went to Virginia, that humidity, it really got me and it took me those 13 months to really get used to that humidity.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, it’s interesting because my mom is in Arizona and she’s fine. But when she was in Richmond as well, in Virginia, she was just, the humidity just really got to her. She does not handle it well. So, you know, the Lord says to, you know, pick up your cross daily. So you’ll be, that’s your cross to bear, I guess.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, I would say it is. And, you know, that also goes along with, okay. Okay. Ecclesiastes 3 and 1 says to everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven. And see, we have to understand that God has seasons and times for each and every one of us to do certain things because God is a very specific God. And there’s a certain thing. Angie, I don’t think you would have done as well in any other industry than in the industries that you have been in for most of your adult life. I really don’t. Because you’re good at what you do. And then when it’s time for you to shift, you know when that one season is over and it’s time for you to move to that next portion of that industry that you’re in. And I admire that because that’s just you. Not many people really know what they’re supposed to be doing. But you do.
SPEAKER 03 :
I didn’t think moving from TV to radio was that big of a switch or a change, but the radio people did. I mean, it was interesting because I thought that TV people were kind of snobs, that they thought they were better than the radio people. And then when I tried to make the switch, I found that the industry was a little snobby and thought they were better than TV people because the radio people that I interviewed with, at least, not my current station, obviously, because I’ve been here, I think, 11 years now, that they said – Oh, well, you know, TV people normally can’t do radio because we ad lib and, you know, we have to be quick on our feet and we have to, you know, come up with things to say, you know, off the hip. And, you know, I’m like, oh, give me a break. You know, I just don’t think it’s that different personally, unless you just aren’t a good speaker. speaker, extremist speaker, and a lot of people in TV are, but I’m sure that there are that few here and there that aren’t, but I think they’re fairly interchangeable in my opinion. And if you have a difficulty just speaking off the cuff, then have some notes, write your own script, have some things to work off of. A lot of my guests are regular, so I know a lot about all of you and what you’re going through and your passion for Christ. So I don’t really have to have notes and research, but for a new author, I do. All right, so you posted about your husband passing and the anniversary of that passing. And you’ve had one daughter move away and then two sons that don’t live here and then the one that just had the grandbaby. So one here in town. And then, you know, obviously the loss of your husband is so hard on them. I’ve seen them posting about it because I follow your daughters. And you posted about like, don’t comment on people who’ve had a loss. And I know you’ve had incidents where people have said like, you should be over that by now. And you kind of said like, look, I’m posting about grief and I don’t need to comment about how I should be feeling at this point in my grief journey.
SPEAKER 02 :
You know, some people really believe that, oh, you just need to get over it. You know, and when you’ve been with someone, okay, look at you and Mark. How long have y’all been together?
SPEAKER 03 :
20, just over 20 years.
SPEAKER 02 :
Okay. Now, don’t you think that it would be life-changing if something were to happen? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so my husband and I were married 27 years, 4 months, 10 days, and 9 hours. When he passed five years ago on August the 7th, 2018, we had been married that long. We had been in a relationship. I think we were seeing each other like a year, maybe two before we got married and stuff. But when he passed, that took the life out of me because that was someone I saw him. I saw him, you know, every day. You know, and when he wasn’t at work or I wasn’t at work, we saw each other constantly. We lived in the same house. We did chores together. We raised kids together. And there are some insensitive people that feel like, oh, well, you just need to move on because, you know, God is not telling you to stay in that place. Well, you know what? God is not telling you to stay in that place where you’re criticizing and rebuking me for actually loving my husband. Because where there is much grief, there had to have been much love. And those are things that we really need to understand. And you can’t just tell somebody, you know, on a day like that. And yes, that was a landmark day, five years, you know, that he had been gone, that I had received that phone call. And then just on yesterday was the day I did the homegoing service, you know. And of course, I was thinking about that, too, because I’m like, wow, I… We had all these people in that place and we sent him home. We memorialized him, you know, but you can’t just tell people, well, you need to get over it. You need to get past it because it’s not that easy. And that’s why I tell them, you know, at some point it’s going to be your turn. And the same way you treat somebody now with the grief they’re going through, baby, that’s the same way you’re going to be treated when it’s your turn. And we need to watch that. We really do.
SPEAKER 03 :
Now, in terms of how you’re feeling, I’ve just watched your journey and I really respect how open you’ve been because you’ve helped a lot of other people going through the same thing because a lot of people don’t feel comfortable speaking about it. And I know that you’re still writing books and you’re still speaking. So I want to make sure people can get in touch with you. How do they reach you?
SPEAKER 02 :
Beatrice at Drill Sergeant of Life dot com. I am revamping everything. Drill Sergeant of Life.
SPEAKER 03 :
Drill Sergeant of Life, my friend. Always a pleasure to have you on the program. What a blessing to call you friend. Love you. Love you. God bless you.
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SPEAKER 04 :
Week, which is listening to the mighty 670 KLT Denver.
SPEAKER 03 :
Hey there, friend. It is Angie Austin with the good news. Also joining us. So we haven’t talked to her in a couple of weeks. Katie Millar, we rig. She, um, you can find her on Instagram at the balanced mind project. And she is the author of the parenting machine and the creator of the anxiety healing program. Welcome back, Katie.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thanks. So happy to be back.
SPEAKER 03 :
So you’ve been busy with your kids starting school and doing all the things you do when you kind of, you know, buy the school supplies, get the physicals and all of that.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yes. Oh, my goodness. Well, we took a big family vacation before school started and then came back and got right into the swing of things, as I’m sure many other people are feeling the same stress as the new schedules all come to play.
SPEAKER 03 :
Now, where did you guys go? Your family go on vacation?
SPEAKER 04 :
We went to Florida. We did a beach trip in the Gulf side of Florida. It was so fun.
SPEAKER 03 :
I do love Florida. It’s a little hot for me now, but, you know, when you’re at the coast, you get the nice breeze anyway. So, yeah, I’m a big, huge fan of Florida. Okay. You and I both have kids. We’re in the middle of it. And one thing I’ve been speaking to them a lot about lately is the whole birds of a feather flock together thing. Now, my kids really hadn’t dated. My son kind of had a friend. He’s an 18-year-old senior. And my 16-year-old junior, a boy from the local Lutheran private school, they met at a fair and they’ve been, you know, hanging out, shall we say. It’s funny because I watch them on the camera and they hug, you know. Yeah. They were going to watch a movie and I’m like, who’s going to be there? And my daughter goes, oh, please, mom, you know, we’re not like that. I go, I know, I know. But we always have to have, you know, an adult around. So I like this boy because he can speak to adults. You know, he pays for their outings. He opens the car door for her. He always walks to the door. He’s a straight-A student. He’s a really good athlete. And I like all of these things because I do believe birds of a feather flock together. And so I do want my kids to hang around with a certain type of kid, you know. And I noticed on your Instagram page, and this is why I brought up this topic today, you have, quote, the person you will be in five years depends largely on the books you read, the people you spend time with, the food you eat, the habits you adopt, and the conversations you engage in today. Choose wisely. And I would include that in the gossip category. I’m talking about that, about choosing wisely with your words. So let’s talk about that, Katie.
SPEAKER 04 :
I think you’re absolutely right, and I think as our kids especially start this new school year, that’s something, a conversation that parents should be having with their kids is that, you know, it doesn’t make sense. If someone says to me, I want to be a professional basketball player, and I say, oh, that’s great. What are you doing to play basketball? And they say, oh, I haven’t started yet, and I don’t really play basketball, but I’m hoping in the next five years to be a professional basketball player. We’d all look at them and think you’re crazy. But our kids do this often with their friends and we do it with ourselves. We think, oh, in five years, I’ll be this person or I’m going to have these sorts of goals accomplished. But the people that they’re hanging out with, the way their lifestyle is, their habits, their mindset has not put them on that path. And it just is. impossible really to accomplish those goals without understanding that it is the tiny things that we do each day that help us to accomplish those goals.
SPEAKER 03 :
Absolutely. And just, just that, um, I guess I was listening to some athlete. I love these little like inspirational clips, you know, you’ll find on Instagram or wherever. Um, and that say like, look, you know, I wasn’t necessarily extraordinary athlete. What I did every day was extraordinary. What I did every day was I did, you know, um, twice double the workouts or, um, you know just doing things over and over and over again investing in the time one guy specifically said and he was an older athlete maybe somebody from the 70s who was big then he said something to the effect of my junior year no one was interested in me and i told my coach i wanted to play college and pro ball and he’s like you know i love you dude but you’re just not on track for that and to have that honesty from his coach who loved him he was very close to he just took another turn And he, by the time he was a senior, he was wanted all over the country. He was highly sought after and he ended up becoming a professional ball player. And of course, I regret that I don’t know his name because he was someone that I didn’t watch and wasn’t familiar with, but I recognized his face. So I thought, well, I’m going to listen to this clip. And that really impressed me because he made such big changes in that one year that he became a totally different caliber player that everyone wanted.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, exactly. And I think something’s you can go from, there’s a lot of ways to get to these types of goals, but I think one of the things that I was actually talking to my daughter about last night, my daughter, she’s 15 and she’s a highly competitive person and she’s on track right now to, you know, have her associate’s degree by the time she graduates high school. And she’s very driven in these sorts of ways. And often in her drive, she can become a little openly competitive with other people. And at times that will make you unlikable. And I said, okay, Let’s pretend, let’s say that I saw your future and I already know that in three years you’re going to be the valedictorian of your class. You’re going to get the scholarship you want. You’re going to major in the thing you want. You know, you’re going to have everything that you desire. I said, if you know that that outcome is already guaranteed. how is that going to change today how you’re going to treat the people at school? I said, could you just become a cheerleader and someone who roots for others and uplifts others so that when, if you ever do get that accolade or that award, will you get a standing ovation of people saying, oh, she so deserves it? Or are you going to be one that everyone whispers when you walk up to get that? And I think you can go from two ways. You can say, if you knew that you could become this amazing person, And you knew that this outcome was very reasonable for you. Will it change the way that you act today? One, will it change the way you change, like we talked about, like your habits and the people you hang out with? But will it also change the way you treat people and the way you stress about it and the way that you get there? Because I think that that’s another really good thing we need to talk to our kids about is that in our panic of sometimes reaching these goals, like you’re talking about with this competitive athletes, who was being told this by his coaches, he believed that he had this future in him. And he believed that he could do it. It just was reliant on his hard work and his decisions. And because of that, that changed the way he treated others, changed the way he acted. And now he’s a respected athlete and he got everything that he wanted. And it really is just this perspective game. And it’s really hard, especially with teenagers, to develop that perspective because there’s a lot of panic on the part of the parents and the childs. And we always are worried that things aren’t going to go their way. And so I think if we can have that type of mentality that everything’s attainable to me with hard work, as long as I stay on this right path towards my goal, but that also I don’t want to do anything wrong on this path that’s going to hurt my future opportunity or hurt the way that people look at me that might change the way that if I do get that award or if I do get that prestige, is it going to ruin friendships?
SPEAKER 03 :
I love the way that you said that, like, let me just like you can fulfill all of these goals in the same manner without being so competitive that you make others feel less than or that you gossip about others on the team. And that was something that one of my kids came into contact recently and I just told her, you’ve got to walk away when you hear that gossip, because if you’re standing in that group, you will be held accountable and it always gets back to the person you’re talking about. And I did interview her the other day on the show because she’s so encouraging and positive. I said, why do you try to avoid gossip? And she said, well, because whatever you say, it always gets back to the person. So you need to think about your words and only say what you would say in front of them. And so I’ve told her that a lot. So it’s obviously getting through. Now, I wonder if you’ve learned this lesson because I hope you don’t mind my saying, but, you know, you’re very attractive now. And you were a beauty queen, right? You were in the beauty queen, you know, like you were known for your looks and your talent. Did you have to humble yourself because maybe people didn’t like you because that’s a very competitive arena?
SPEAKER 04 :
You know, there is a lot of that. And I experienced more of an ugly duckling upbringing. So I, you know, this whole environment was very new to me. But that was something that I learned while in this arena. On the whole, I would say that the participants in like the Miss America program were incredibly uplifting, encouraging and wonderful women. But there is. There is always going to be people who because and what I’ve learned, it’s because of insecurity that you feel that you need to step on the backs of others to get where you need to be. If you are secure in yourself, then belittling someone else, you know, that doesn’t change your worth. Them falling does not change where you stood. And so that’s something, too. I love what you’re doing with your daughter, because, yes, we all I think girls, especially teenage girls. tend to feel like there’s a scarcity of value, a scarcity of beauty, a scarcity of brains and of talent. And so in so doing, they feel like they need to take away from the other person in order to make themselves more. And that is something that we need to ingrain in our daughters and our sons and in ourselves, that this this worth that we have is rooted in God and it’s not rooted in anything else. And there’s no scarcity. There’s a full abundance. And when we think that way, then it’s like you take nothing away from anyone else by complimenting them, by uplifting them. And I love what you said about having your daughter walk away from those conversations because you’re absolutely right. Whether or not it gets back to the person, it’s toxic to our own souls when we view other people that way. And yeah, especially in the competitive environment, whether it’s a beauty pageant or sports, It is so tempting to feel like, well, if I just bring them down, it will elevate me. But as we’ve learned over and over again, that’s never the answer.
SPEAKER 03 :
I love the way you describe it, that it’s toxic to our souls. And it does eat away or rot a little bit of our goodness away when we are involved in that. And some other things, I follow your Instagram page now. And if people want to find you, they can, the Balanced Mind Project. And you have this picture and it says, well, two things, that it’s not a pie, you know, and our girls, our teenagers in general thinking that, oh, if this really great basketball player has a quarter of the pie, that’s taking away from me. No. There’s endless pie and you can each be a whole pie. You can each be amazing and outstanding. And something else that I read that really resonated with me, you said why you should be gentle with people. And it’s a picture and it shows a continuum and someone’s life. And let’s say someone’s life is a mile long. And then you show what we know about it is like an inch long. So here, we don’t know all that’s going on behind the scenes. And I often do tell my kids when they tell me about some jerk at school. You know, it’s just a jerk. I’m like, you have no idea what’s going on in their home. Like, you have to try to be compassionate with these people and not react and lash back out at them. Because you’ve got parents at home. You have grandparents that love you. You’ve got such a stable environment. And you have… things poured onto you, club sports and the clothes that you feel comfortable wearing and that you weren’t embarrassed about and the nice shoes and all of things I didn’t have as a kid. And so I know the difference. And so I’m like, you just have to realize that what’s going on at home for these kids could be really horrible. And that’s why they are acting the way they’re acting.
SPEAKER 04 :
Absolutely. And what you learn when you, you know, delve more into psychology and the brain is that even like the most extremes of circumstances, someone who’s maybe a narcissist, you know, which is a very selfish and rude person, usually the reason, and in 99% of cases, the reason the person developed those types of coping characteristics is because of something traumatic that made them incredibly insecure in themselves. Now, that’s not to say that you need to have a relationship with that person. But when we understand that the root of most of the mistreatment we get from others is an insecurity or is an unhappiness or the hate for themselves or their situation, then it can allow you to realize that the way that people treat you, it’s less about you and more about what is a reflection of what’s going on in their soul. And it can help you to be more gentle with them and also more gentle with yourself when you get those kind of critiques. and recognizing this is a reflection on them, not a reflection on me. I need to be, you know, strong in who I am on my own and independently. And I think that’s especially hard when you’re living in a, like, Lord of the Flies situation like the kids do at school, where everyone’s just trying to find their own place and assert themselves and find their own value. And often it comes at the cost of hurting each other. And so that’s why in my book and in my practice, I hope that parents will make their home a safe place for their children because they need a place to recharge, to find their worth, to gain self-esteem. So that we aren’t put in those situations. They won’t feel the need to bring down others, but instead can just rely on that internal truth.
SPEAKER 03 :
I love it. All right, Katie, give us your website.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yes, you can meet me at the Anxiety Healing Program. There’s a lot of resources there. And then also follow me on Instagram on Balanced Mind Project.
SPEAKER 03 :
Thank you, Katie.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you, Angie. So it’s a pleasure talking to you.
SPEAKER 05 :
Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
SPEAKER 01 :
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