Join Dana as she dives into another thrilling episode filled with the bizarre antics of the infamous Florida Man. This time, the peculiar tale involves saws and vehicular disputes. Alongside this, Dana tackles the contentious debate around THC regulation in Texas, scrutinizing the implications of big government’s decisions on personal freedoms.
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 06 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 03 :
Jeez, straws, axes. So, this Florida Man, a saw-swinging Florida Man, struck a guy during a wrong-way driving argument. Boy, oh boy. Yeah. Yeah. So this Fort Myers Lee County Sheriff’s Office, an argument over a wrong way driving, landed one man in jail and another left with life, non-life-threatening injuries. Rolando Ruiz Alonzo. Too many names, Rolando. He was the primary aggressor in the altercation. And according to police, the old dude began swinging a… Was it a saw or not? A saw-like tool toward a victim as the argument escalated and the victim was struck. And then he also used a piece of ceramic pottery as a weapon. He was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. I guess, I mean, he was driving the wrong way and got called out. I don’t know. But good heavens, like there’s… How many people have saws and machetes there? It’s like people just go to their trucks and get them. Here’s my machete. Okay. Here’s my saw. A Florida man who was accused of murder was captured after TikTok revealed his whereabouts. People overshare. He shot and killed his girlfriend in front of her two children while they were at a cemetery of all places. St. Petersburg police were searching for him for three and a half years. No success. And then a video of a local news story was shared on TikTok. He was in Mexico and it showed him in Mexico and they were able to get him. So now he’s been charged with first degree murder and two counts of child abuse. They just happened to get him. So, wow, I just happened to see him in the background of this news story. He was in Mexico. Not really hiding out too well, I guess. A few, I got to tell you, and we’ve been watching all of this stuff as it pertains to the, we were talking about Doge a little bit ago and a lot of these cabinet picks, et cetera, et cetera. And I saw this story last night, and I’m trying to wrap my mind around it. And I got aggravated. I always get mad at people who think that politics began the day that they signed up for an X account. Because some of us have been out here busting our edible snakes for quite some time, pushing it back against rhinoism, right? And you always get these drive-bys who are like, oh, I can’t believe people think that Republicans are… You know, like the party of small government or whatever. And I’m like, you know, broad first off, you know, drop the drunk bridesmaid act. I get that you, you know, when you created your ex account, you think that all politics began that the day that you became self-aware. But some of us have been out here doing the heavy lifting while you could sit here and go and get your overfilled face done and your ratty ass extensions. And you could try to, like, talk platitudes about it on X. Stop. I get so aggravated over this stuff. Stop it. A lot of people out there have been doing the heavy lifting. A lot of you out there have been doing the heavy lifting, pushing back, calling your lawmakers, holding everybody accountable. And we’re not going to be judged by people who just opened a drive by account and all of a sudden went away and like, you know, they’re the generals of the movement. Stop it. We’re not doing it. And I specifically got aggravated over this one post that I saw from Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick of Texas. So he he posted this. Did you see this, King? This is going to be up your alley. It’s in Slack. He said it’s a major legislative initiative to ban all THC. Thousands of stores have opened to sell all types of dangerous products with unlimited THC. And these stores even target your children is what he’s saying. Let me read it first off. Oh, don’t roll your eyes. I don’t care if you’re I’m not Tommy Chong. OK, I’m no Tommy Chong, but I know government overreach when I see it. That’s what this is about. Today, it’s about whatever the hell THC. Tomorrow, it’s guns. You don’t know. So he had this, he wants to ban all THC. Thousands of stores have opened to sell all types of dangerous products. What? Wait, there’s more. He’s talking about This representative, Tracy King, this bill, blah, blah, blah. Part of the bill allowed for the commercialization of hemp, which might include unremovable, non-intoxicating trace amounts of Delta 9 THC. Quote, dangerously, retailers exploited the agriculture law to sell life-threatening, unregulated forms of THC to the public and made them easily accessible. They sold them to adults and they targeted Texas children, exposed them to dangerous levels of THC. I mean, they keep saying the word dangerous. And then they use the word life-threatening levels in another sentence. I’m sorry. Excuse me. Okay. Again, I’m no Tommy Chong here. But… I’m pretty sure that you would have to have all the THC on Earth in order for it to be considered dangerous. Am I correct? I was talking to some of my more pot-minded associates about this. So, yes, maybe we know people in California. I don’t partake in any of this. But they get so into the, like, what am I thinking of? The artisanal marijuana. It is hysterical. How it is not a reality show, I do not know. If you’ve ever tried to see hippies turn into bougie entrepreneurs, it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. God love it. But anyway, Kane, don’t they include a tiny amount? I mean, it’s not like they’re tripping acid.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, no, it’s not unlimited. It’s definitely limited. There’s only so much.
SPEAKER 03 :
I mean, you can regulate it. From what I understand, it’s already Texas law that it’s regulated.
SPEAKER 06 :
It is regulated.
SPEAKER 03 :
So that’s a lie. Dan Patrick published a lie.
SPEAKER 06 :
He’s talking about.
SPEAKER 03 :
I’m so surprised.
SPEAKER 06 :
He’s talking about the THC that they’ve in the lab removed a molecule so that it isn’t. the illegal THC-9 on the federal level. So he’s talking about the THCs that have had the molecules removed so that they’re a different THC from the THC-9, and he’s saying that those are dangerous. So it’s a little bit different because this is sort of a laboratory thing that’s created for these vapes and the consumption for people. So I don’t know. He’s technically not lying, though.
SPEAKER 03 :
I don’t want to sound like Joe Rogan talking about this stuff. And that’s not an insult. But I’m just not a pot person. I’m not. I’m not. But I just am like, this is big government. This is big government.
SPEAKER 06 :
Oh, without a doubt it is. Oh, without a doubt. It absolutely is.
SPEAKER 03 :
So the same government that was like, y’all better get these shots, now is like, no, you can’t have gummies. Right? Exactly. Same people, right? You’re right. And we are to listen to them. Why?
SPEAKER 06 :
I can’t sell you on that.
SPEAKER 03 :
No means no, Texas government.
SPEAKER 06 :
It’s not what AOC says.
SPEAKER 03 :
I mean, okay, because you guys think it’s funny that I know so little about football. Wait until you hear me talk about marijuana. This is Kane’s other favorite. Because what did I tell you yesterday? How did I say it yesterday? I was like, well, doesn’t THC, doesn’t that just make you like fat because of munchies and suspicious? Yeah, it was suspicious and fat?
SPEAKER 06 :
That’s what you said.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, doesn’t it just make you suspicious and fat?
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah. I’m like, what? What do you mean? Paranoid? Yes. And get the munchies?
SPEAKER 03 :
Yes. Because isn’t that like the common thing? It’s like you’re always paranoid. And so there are a couple of people I know who actually work in this industry, like I was saying. And both of them are veterans. And one of them we just met, but we know somebody that does this. It’s like a lot of veterans use it, especially to help manage PTSD, because they don’t want to be hooked on big pharma stuff. They don’t want to have to take like these, you know, psychotropic drugs and all of this. And they just need, you know, and it helps them to relax at night or whatever. I don’t have any problem with that. I don’t know why anybody, mind your business. I mean, for crying out loud, it’s a gummy. And they put, from what I understand, like a tiny percentage of whatever in it. It’s not like people are going out there, you know, tripping beans and acting like Beto O’Rourke, breaking and entering and drunk driving. Nobody’s doing that.
SPEAKER 06 :
I know, and it’s this kind of work by the government that actually has us putting our names on lists when we want to get pseudofed for a nose running or something. That’s what big government, this is what will end up happening.
SPEAKER 03 :
Someone was saying that it was similar to taking melatonin. I was reading that in the comments. I take like 10 milligrams. Sometimes I’ll take 20 of melatonin. I’m actually trying to take less because I get so groggy. I’m so groggy in the morning. But I take 10 milligrams of melatonin a night. I’m definitely not out there being dangerous on 10 milligrams of melatonin. If what I have been told and what I’ve read, that it is similar in terms of relaxing it, which is why a lot of veterans take it and they take it at night.
SPEAKER 06 :
Do you get suspicious in fat?
SPEAKER 03 :
No, I don’t. I don’t get suspicious in fat. Because it doesn’t have the pot in it. It’s just melatonin, like the fast-dissolve melatonin tablet. I’m just saying, why is this an issue that they’re focusing on in Texas? No, I get that people can walk and chew gum at the same time. But out of nowhere, let’s go after the THC. And from what I’m understanding, it’s a tiny… I don’t want the government involved in anything else. No, Texas should be shrinking government, not expanding it. This is just big government. And I don’t care if you’re a pot person or not. It doesn’t matter. It’s irrelevant. I mean, this is a variable. What have I always told you? In all of these instances, guns are a variable. Pot is a variable. Look at all of this. It’s the same formula. They just switch out the variables. That’s it. That’s it.
SPEAKER 06 :
I wonder if on a federal level the fact that they’re talking about changing the schedule of it.
SPEAKER 03 :
I think they’re trying to nationalize all regulation of it to create an industry for themselves that they can monopolize.
SPEAKER 06 :
I wonder if this is just Texas’ response to that potential. I have no idea, though.
SPEAKER 03 :
I don’t think so. That’s not how I look at it. I mean, if I’m wrong, I’m wrong. I mean, I like being correct on issues. I’m not, you know, I’m not a petty partisan. But to me, from when I was reading this, like, why do you need to ban it? They’re not trying to… They just want to ban everything. Why do you need to ban it? And sorry, they’re not targeting the kids. They’re not. That sounds like a gun grabber argument. Oh, you’re marketing these guns to kids. No one is selling… THC to kids. Have you seen these stores? No offense to anyone, but I’m going to be very honest. Okay. You know what do they look like? Do you want to, you know what they look like? They look like, oh gosh, you’re going to, they look like white trash boomer places. I’m sorry, but they do. It’s like, they’re so uncool looking. They are so uncool. They’re uncool. Kids don’t want to go to an uncool place. It’s not like they’re sticking Barney out front or whatever the hell furry. They’re not sticking that stuff out front. You know, come on, stop it. Stop it. I’m not making nobody get mad because I’ll print out your email and I will roll over it with my mini segue that I got six years ago on Amazon for Mother’s Day and then I’ll take it to the range and shoot Buckeye through it or Birdshot through it. So stop it. But you know what I mean? They look like adult places. It doesn’t look cool. They don’t look cool. Kids are not going to go to a place that doesn’t look cool. I seriously take issue with the whole marketing to the kids thing. That’s what big government always says with stuff that it wants to ban. Oh, my gosh. It’s going after the kids. Wait, the same government that’s going after the kids trying to cut their genitals off and flip their genders? The very same. Against the wishes of their parents. Suddenly this government’s all worried about the kids. Oh, what? The same government that lost hundreds of thousands of kids that it that it allowed to come across the border illegally. Suddenly that same government. Oh, my goodness. We can’t have these cannabis stores targeting the kids. Just can’t have a cane. Can’t have these cannabis stores. I’ve seen one after the kids.
SPEAKER 06 :
No, I’ve seen the ingredients list on like Fruit Loops. They’re allowing some pretty poisonous stuff. Our kids eat it right in front of the TV.
SPEAKER 02 :
They literally use a bird to advertise it to the kids. Yes, directly to the kids. Come eat our cancer cereal, kids. It’s full of cancer. It is.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, I’m not really going to pay attention to the government. So out of all the… And you know what? Lieutenant Governor Patrick has come on the show before. Can we have… Let’s bring him on again to talk about that. He’s going to be like, oh my gosh. We get along with him so well, even when he’s so wrong. We’re so nice because he’s very genteel. But I’m just like the same guy. Is anybody else fed up with the government telling you what you can and can’t do, especially after, I don’t know, the whole Wu flu drama? Yeah. So it seems like I’m just done with it. The same government that was doing all this stuff. That was shilling out books about oral sex to your kids in elementary school? The same government. Oh, we don’t like these. These stores are targeting the kids. No, they’re not. You are. Sup? Thank you so much for having me. designed to give you everything that you need in one convenient order. And every order comes with a doctor’s prescription included. Ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, or any other effective medications, they have it all. And you can get fast shipping with most order shipping in two to three business days. Medications start as low as $3 per capsule, making it really easy to take charge of your health without breaking the bank. No insurance needed. You can skip the paperwork and get the treatments you need directly. Stock up with their emergency preparedness bundles and access over 200 medications online anytime. Visit allfamilypharma.com slash Dana and use code Dana10 for 10% off of your entire order. That’s allfamilypharma.com slash Dana, code Dana10.
SPEAKER 06 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, man. I just remembered it’s time to watch Nightmare Before Christmas. Deadly Nightshade. Movie actress dies at a Mexican spiritual retreat after consuming deadly monkey frog potion. What gave you the idea that this might be deadly? Anything that’s a monkey frog potion already sounds like it’s going to be deadly. Why do people do this? So it’s I don’t think you need to say movie actress, but they did this strange potion. They said dates back to the Inca period. And oh, it’s meant to cause uncontrollable diarrhea and vomiting for consumers, which supposedly acts as a cleanse. So Marcella Rodriguez, she apparently decided that she was going to do this and it didn’t work out well for her. It’s 40 times stronger than morphine. Oh, my gosh. Why? Who would who’s like, you know, well, you’re going to basically leak out of everything to death. That’s how it’s going to work for you. Who wants to go? OK, let’s do that. No, it was in Durango, northern Mexico. I mean, it literally took hours to kill her. They’re doing an autopsy, but pretty much have an idea of how that happened. It’s going to say that’s horrible. An officer uses a child. An officer uses a child’s bicycle chasing down a felony suspect. And there’s body cam footage and it’s actually hysterical. He was not near a squad car. He used a little kid’s bicycle to go after the felon. He commandeered a kid’s bike to continue the pursuit, said the department in its paperwork. And it was a bright lime green bike, too, which is funny. They got him. He got him. He caught the suspect, charged him with felony theft. The guy also had three other outstanding warrants. And they said the suspect might have had a scooter, but Officer Tarr had determination and a kid’s bike. Yeah, he thought he was going to get away on a motorized scooter, but it wasn’t going to happen. Not with Officer Tarr. He was on it. I mean, and kudos to the kid who let him take the bike. Juan’s showing you the footage right now. He grabs the kid’s bike, and he’s like, here we go. Here we go. We’re going after him. I mean, this actually makes me want to now ride a bicycle. Right? Remember how fun this was back in the day? This was fun. By the way, this is what Peloton should have had. Peloton should have had, like, revisiting your childhood by riding your, instead of the stupid stuff that they had. They favored it. Yeah, going through the neighborhood. Let’s see here. Oh, the worst time to shoplift. Here’s an idea. If you’re shopping with a cop, don’t steal while you’re doing it. And they did this as a Walmart event, their annual shop with a cop. And someone who was shopping with a cop decided to steal from the Walmart. Didn’t work out well for him. Our partners that help bring you the program, it’s our friends over at Caltech, the P15. It stands for 15 pews. It’s the lightest. thinnest, most easily concealable 9mm double stack mag that’s on the market. And there’s nothing else that comes close. They have two versions, metal and polymer. Metal frame version has the really gorgeous wood panel. It has these wood grain panels that I just think give it a total… I was actually having a debate with a friend about what genre of James Bond. I say the Sean Connery like 60s, 70s, sort of 70s, you know, maybe. James Bond. It’s a great looking gun. The polymer version, gator grip texture. It comes with two standard capacity magazines. One’s a 15 round minimal pinky extension. The other is a flush fit double stack mag that holds 12 rounds as well. Tritium fiber optic front sight, fiber optic front sight. You get a fully adjustable fiber optic two dot rear. A lifetime warranty, super compact, great for concealed carry self-defense, whether you’re a newbie or an old pro at it. It’s more dependable, yet game-changing innovation from the people who literally created the micro-compact pistol category. Innovation, performance, Kel-Tec. Learn more at Kel-TecWeapons.com. That’s K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. I want to play this video, Cain. It’s in Slack, but it’s very juvenile. So you guys remember Eric Fart’s, I mean, Swalwell. verbal typo yeah it’s a verbal typo it was completely an innocent error i need to i need to discuss this video just because it’s funny and i need a palate cleanser and also wow it’s almost friday i mean you know it is it’s you know like i said next week everybody’s gonna be drunk on eggnog half of you are gonna be paying attention So let me get your attention. This is Zoe Lofgren. She’s a Democrat, of course. What is up with people from California and their personal gas issues? I don’t get it. She just let her rip tater chip right there on CNN. Go ahead. Roll tape. Watch her eyes.
SPEAKER 04 :
That power of the purse is with the legislative branch, not the president.
SPEAKER 01 :
And I do want to ask you, because of your work on the January 6th committee.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, you need a wipe after that. Dana, you’re juvenile. I am. Hi. Did we meet just now? Did we? That’s the smartest thing that was said on CNN all week, believe it or not. Smartest thing. Crazy, right? That fart is going to get its own contributorship. It’s going to happen. Zoe Lofgren’s fart. CNN contributor.
SPEAKER 06 :
It’ll be Toobin and Tootin. I can see it now. It’ll be like, you know, the big show.
SPEAKER 03 :
It can host a show with, yeah, Jeffrey Toobin. Right. Toobin can host it with, hosted by Jeffrey Toobin and Zoe Lofgren’s fart. Yeah, there you go right there. I mean, it is. I know. I totally know that it’s juvenile, and I love it all the same. Love it all the same. And notice Jim Acosta’s face. Jim Acosta has this thing where he looks at his monitor. So if you’re watching the simulcast, I’m looking right at the camera. I don’t have a teleprompter. I have a giant screen in front of me that I refer to for notes or if I’m reading, quoting something for you. And then I have a monitor that shows me the program right below it. So you can’t really see unless you kind of can. If I’m looking right at the camera, if I’m looking at the monitor for some reason, it’s like CNN’s monitors are five feet under the camera. I don’t get it because he’s not looking at the camera. He’s looking all the way down at the monitor. So when you’re the viewer and you’re watching, even when he’s only when he’s, unless he’s reading the prompter, Does he look at the camera? He doesn’t look at it unless he’s reading the prompter. He’s always like this. Always. If you go find clips of Jim Acosta, this dumbass cannot look at the camera to save his life. He’s constantly looking down at the monitor. And I’m like, dude, bro, look at the camera. But then it then it makes me wonder, well, how low are those monitors? Like, look at where his eyes are. His eyes are like all the way. I mean, his whole head’s turned down. How far away from the camera? The monitor should be right underneath it to where there’s not really. And the monitors just, you know, so you can kind of see, you know, take a glimpse for like show elements. Like sometimes I’ll look at it if we’re doing like a side by side or something to make sure because I move so much that I’m not aggravating one. And I’m like in the middle of the shot because one is obsessed with symmetry. Because he’s good at his job. That’s what he does. He’s like, everything’s got to be symmetrical. Everything’s got to be in its place. So I try to help out by not going everywhere. So I’ll refer to the monitor. He always stares at it. And then I noticed when he’s questioning people. Remember when he was in the White House press corps? Because I was looking at some of these videos on break. He doesn’t look at people in the face when he’s asking them a question. I’ve noticed this. Even when, and one of the videos that came up were that time that he grabbed that woman’s arm when he was questioning Trump, remember? And they were having a very, he was having a very heated Q&A. It was a White House press avail. And even then he was not, he would not look at anybody in the face. It’s weird. He’s a weird cat. He’s a weird dude. I don’t know. I mean, maybe Zoe Loughran’s fart is going to take over a show because, I mean, at least that looks right in the face. Just saying.
SPEAKER 05 :
Can we hear it again, please?
SPEAKER 03 :
Steve is obsessed with us. I only heard it once. Steve was the one who was like, watch your eyes. I only heard it once. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead.
SPEAKER 04 :
That power of the purse is with the legislative branch, not the president.
SPEAKER 01 :
And I do want to ask you because of your work on the January 6th committee.
SPEAKER 03 :
That almost sounded like a video game effect. Right? Right? Trying to think what that reminded me of. What video game sound does that remind me of something? Yeah, I don’t know. So I thought that was the smartest thing that’s been said on CNN.
SPEAKER 05 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
