Join us for a spirited discussion about the alleged ‘historic’ all-women space flight that has captured headlines, examining whether this was a groundbreaking event or just another PR stunt. Plus, get caught up on some quick-fire news updates from Dana’s Quick Five, including new developments in the celebrity world and innovations from the tech industry.
Hey, this is Todd Herman, host of The Todd Herman Show. You might have heard me on Rush Limbaugh’s show. I was a regular fill-in for about eight years. I now do a show out of the high mountains of free America because, you know, I got exiled from Seattle. Ecclesiastes. There’s nothing new under the sun and God uses imperfect people all the time. And I’m just seeing these similarities in how he’s using President Trump and how he’s used other actual king in this country. We have a king in the form of the deep state. Check out the Todd Herman Show every day on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 04 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 07 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 02 :
Okay, so I’ve got some issues here. We’ve got some Florida Man stories. First and foremost… A Florida man swallowed almost a million dollars worth of jewelry and put it out 12 days later. They were Tiffany Diamond earrings.
SPEAKER 07 :
We covered the original story.
SPEAKER 02 :
Almost a million dollars. And then now, well, they were earrings and then a ring. So in total, the ring was half a million dollars. And then the diamond earrings were a couple hundred thousand dollars. Actually, several hundred thousand dollars. So it brought it up to just under $800,000. And he police say that this guy, Jathan Gilder, his name is Jathan. Was that like Jason with a lisp? What the hell is your name? Jathan for J-A-Y-T-H-A-N. What in the world is wrong with your parents? Your mother’s stupid. Anyway, they your dumb mother. So they said that he stole these earrings and made a run for it in the ring. They called. Police said that they got the call about an armed robbery in progress. They did finally get him. As they approached him and it was all happening pretty quickly, he started putting stuff in his mouth and swallowing it. And he ate the earrings. They got the ring out of him. Well, from him before he ate it, but not the earrings. And so they showed them. They got the picture of him. I’d wear them. Hose them off. Put them in some alcohol. I don’t care. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. I’d wear it. But I would not. I’d be mad if somebody bought it. Do you sell them at a discount after that? Like, oh, these are poo rings. Here’s what’s up. This is what happened. We’re going to give you 5% off. Like, how would that work? Juan’s like showing the x-rays. He’s being all scientific and stuff. And we’re like, but could you still wear them? Like, would you? Would you wear them?
SPEAKER 07 :
I wonder how much of the gold gets digested in your system.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I think these are probably platinum. There’s probably platinum with that. Well, I don’t know. But yeah, don’t eat that stuff. They’re still going to get it.
SPEAKER 07 :
I wonder if by law you have to disclose that they’ve been pooped out.
SPEAKER 02 :
Like if your house is haunted, like if somebody’s killed in your house, you have to disclose it. Do you have to do that with jewelry for your jewelry store? I actually am interested in that. Do you have to… Just fascinating, right? I think I’m better with that than knowing that it came off a dead body. I don’t know if I could wear earrings pulled right off a dead body. Even if you washed them, it’d be weird. I don’t know. I know wands like Dana. We’ve been here before. I know we have. Okay, so can we do the lady with the bones on Florida? Okay, we’re going to do that. A Florida woman is accused of selling human bones on Facebook. I am shocked that I didn’t buy any of these. I have fake skulls. Just kind of keep them. That’s my everyday decorations. We have a weird house. She is apparently, like, you can’t sell, like, human bones. We should have all learned this from, you know, the Planned Parenthood stuff. But her name is Kimberly, also a stupid name. K-Y-M-B-E-R-L-E-E. Just spell it like every other woman spells it. 52 years old, no excuse. She was charged with trading in human tissue. The business is called Wicked Wonderland. They had human remains, a clavicle, a scapula, vertebrae, partial human skull for $600. And she was like, I didn’t know it was illegal to sell human remains. So she was arrested. She bonded out for under $10,000. I’m telling you what. Our friends over at Kel-Tec. The Kel-Tec PR57, F-I-D-D-Y, 57. Actually, it’s not spelled like that, but we’re going with it. It chambered in 5.7. Game-changing, cutting-edge design and performance. And the Kel-Tec 57 rotary barrel pistol chambered in 5.7. It’s 40% lighter than the next lightest 5.7. It can fire rounds higher than the Blue Origin ascended into the air. So, built to perform when it matters most. And it has a unique top-loading design that replaces traditional magazines with stripper clips for a slimmer carry profile, 20 plus 1 capacity. And MSRP is only $399. It’s super affordable. You need this. You need this gun. And if you need an excuse, it’s Mother’s Day coming up. Fathers, it’s Father’s Day in June. Just saying. Keltecweapons.com to learn more. Innovation Performance Keltec. Keltecweapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
SPEAKER 01 :
Democrats now insist they have a huge momentum shift after those special elections turned out pretty much like we thought they would. President Trump has the audacity to claim he should be able to decide who works for him. And Trump makes the media look like Wile E. Coyote again over comments about a third term. I’m Greg Karambas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs, too. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 02 :
Can we talk about this Braves reporter? Because Steve is hot on this. So I did not. Whenever Steve gets this excited about something, I’m like, okay, I got to look at this thing. Steve or Kane. I’m like, what are you guys blowing me up over? So let me just give you, here’s the headline. Atlanta Braves reporter was slammed for getting a woman’s phone number during a broadcast. Wiley Ballard. Or Willie or Wiley? Wiley? Yeah. A Braves reporter with FanDuel Sports Network. He celebrated getting her number after on social media. Good for you. But they were mad at him. He was interviewing two women at Toronto Rogers Center this Monday. And his colleagues were like, oh, you got to go get this girl’s number. You should get her number. And so he did. and he said, okay, they want me to get your number. He’s on live air with them. This is how it happened. Watch this.
SPEAKER 08 :
We’re having a lot of fun up here at the Corona Rooftop. Who do we got here? What’s your name? My name’s Lauren. Lauren, all right. And I’m Kayla. Kayla, and you guys hang out at the Rooftop Lounge often?
SPEAKER 09 :
Once a year, I come out to visit.
SPEAKER 08 :
Okay, well, we timed it pretty well. All right, good. How are you guys feeling about rooting for the Braves today?
SPEAKER 02 :
Oof, I don’t know. I’m hoping for the best.
SPEAKER 08 :
What about you? Are you a Braves fan now?
SPEAKER 02 :
Not quite.
SPEAKER 08 :
Not quite. All right. I’m going to go to work up here, guys. Good luck the rest of the way. Okay, Wiley. You got five innings, four innings to get the numbers. I’m on it. I’m on it. I’m on it. Get us some more Braves fans. All right. So they want me to get your number.
SPEAKER 05 :
They want you to get my number.
SPEAKER 08 :
I’m dead serious. They’re saying to my ear right now, she doesn’t believe me because she thinks you guys are making this up. I might use that in the future. That’s actually a pretty good move.
SPEAKER 06 :
This is unbelievable. So the best part of this right now is that while they could totally be faking it, this might be the new move. Just walk around with a FanDuel microphone and an earpiece in and convince fans that they’re actually on TV. I should have thought of this years ago.
SPEAKER 08 :
I am speechless. I got the number.
SPEAKER 02 :
So now all the feminazis know that’s actually insulting to Nazis. Oh, man, I really want to go at some of these ladies that you put. Did you put this in here, by the way, Steve, so I’d fight with all these broads all day?
SPEAKER 04 :
I pulled the ones that got the most traction, I found.
SPEAKER 02 :
So the response is, and it’s all kind of, oh, man, Dana, watch your P’s and Q’s here. I’m really trying. It’s Holy Week. You know, you got church on Sunday, Easter, Jesus’ resurrection. I mean, oh, okay. So the one chick who’s mad, she is she’s not like a rando. We didn’t just like pick random broads. She’s a CBS Sports Major League Baseball editor. And she goes, this is one of the most wildly inappropriate things I’ve ever seen. I legitimately can’t believe it’s real. I can’t believe your face is real. And that’s what you just put up on social media. But OK, your dog looks like a little fried chicken nugget. So that’s OK. I forgive you for that. On her photo on X. Seriously, it’s all the ugly, dumpy broads that get mad. You’re mad because Wiley didn’t ask you for your number and no man would. Let’s be real. You know, if one did, he took it for the team. God bless America. But. I’ll say what you guys can’t. It’s all these ugly broads that are mad. And wait, do we got a dude here? Let’s see. Oh, we do got a dude. We got a fake feminist dude. Oh, of course, he’s Dallas Morning News. Let’s look at Evan Grant. Evan Grant’s super mad. Evan Grant describes himself as a Dallas. Well, he’s a Dallas Morning News Rangers beat writer, and he loves food and baseball and he barbecue. He’s just all about life. You know, he’s one of those guys that wears his glasses like right here on his forehead all the time.
SPEAKER 07 :
Listen up, then.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, he’s got he’s, you know, he’s a healthily fed dude. And he said, quote, to yesterday, if a female sideline dugout reporter did this, she’d be called horrible names and be run out of town. It’s just not the same for both sexes. It’s not. And that’s wrong. OK, now he’s not saying now to Evans. Let me withhold on Evan here. evan is not slamming wiley he’s slamming the double standard and i do think that he’s right if a woman had done this she’d probably be called a slut by some people by the fake trad people online she totally would be but i’m awful but if she did it and she was like classy about it so i asked my husband for his number first so okay you got some ladies like that ain’t no problem with it if she didn’t live on air you know fine that doesn’t make her less of a lady So, but the women that are mad about it. All right. So, Evan, you’re cool. You’re cool. I like you. Let’s look at this. Somebody else said, oh, can you imagine if the genders had been reversed? There’s another one of those. But the woman who’s the angriest broads that I’m seeing. Yeah, they’re the meme come to life. It’s there. You know, stop ruining things for pretty people. Just stop. Stop it. Right. Right. Can I just say Wiley’s voice is interesting. It’s like Elvis, but like several octaves higher. He’s like a lower, like a baritone Mickey Mouse. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER 07 :
Yeah. I just don’t understand how, like, okay, so there’s a little backlash because this dude did it. And if a woman would have done it, there would have been some backlash. Is there a scenario where there isn’t any backlash?
SPEAKER 02 :
No, because somebody’s got a bitch about something.
SPEAKER 07 :
Right. That’s what I’m saying. It’s like, why are we even playing into this?
SPEAKER 02 :
What are people going to be mad about? If they wake up and they don’t have anything to be mad about, then they’re going to be mad because they don’t have anything to be mad about.
SPEAKER 07 :
It’s like people shoot your shots and be done.
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, my gosh. But this one chick, Kate Feldman. She mostly tweets starring baseball games. I just think there’s a way better angle that you could have taken that photo of yourself. for your avatar i’m trying not to be mean but sometimes the times call for it leave leave the pretty girls alone leave them alone leave the band alone right i mean no wonder dudes don’t want to ask chicks to out let me tell you dude if you’re a dude and you’re classy gent and you ask a woman out and there’s a feminazi rage against you you just holler at me on social media and i’ll take care of it i feel like i gotta go out there and protect my brothers in america you know what i mean we do need you Like, you know, dudes, you need to women, the right women. I do not like weak men. I don’t like pansy men. I don’t like men who are not aggressive. I can handle myself if I’m in like I always get people like, oh, if you’re in a, you know, boardroom situation, a good old boys. No, I’m a bigger good old boy than most of the men that would be considered good old boys. And King probably attests to that.
SPEAKER 07 :
I’m nodding my head.
SPEAKER 02 :
Um, and I, all of my girlfriends, like the women that I speak with and the women that I grew up with are like that. I, it’s the women, like these new women I don’t like, you know, like they have that stupid third, fourth wave attitude. And I feel so bad for guys who were just trying to get out there and date and have a social life. And they got to worry about these ugly lunch boxes out there raining all over. They’re getting your number parade. Just stop. Just so mean. Are people being mean to Wiley, Steve?
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, I mean, I have a lot of friends. So I did journalism school in Philadelphia, and I have a lot of my friends that I did it with, the female ones, that are not happy about this.
SPEAKER 02 :
Why? Because they want to ask.
SPEAKER 04 :
They just think if the shoe was on the other foot, she would call it a creep.
SPEAKER 02 :
So wait a minute, wait a minute. So it’s not that they’re against him doing it, except for that one lunchbox who is. Right. But they’re like, the double standard isn’t fair.
SPEAKER 04 :
Correct.
SPEAKER 02 :
I get that. Okay, I think there’s something to it. I think that’s a fair thing. So what the ladies are doing is they’re going, why can’t we do it too? Okay, all right. I like that. I like that. I can work with that.
SPEAKER 04 :
I think it’s the difference between the types of feminism that you talk about. Because you can definitely criticize the double standard. But then there are some people who are just like, every ounce of this is inappropriate. Like, just who cares? Like, relax. Don’t be so tight about it.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, it’s not inappropriate. You’re in a ballpark with a beer. Shut up. Yeah, it’s not inappropriate. For crying out loud. It’s not like you’re, you know, in church, in the pew, and, you know, he’s leaning over going, psst, hey, cutie, can I get your digits? Psst. it’s not like he’s doing that you know what I’m saying like there’s he’s at a ballpark y’all got beer it’s you know it’s fun like chill ladies chill but I love the women who are who are mad because they can’t do that and they would get criticized I do think that there is something to that
SPEAKER 07 :
I took my cues from the woman that was being asked her number.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 07 :
She wasn’t out there. She wasn’t offended or anything like that. She was actually playing along with it.
SPEAKER 02 :
But see, that’s what the lunchboxes do. The lunchboxes, because they will never find themselves in a situation like this. They’ve got to be offended for the good looking women because they will never be in that position. So they’re going to try to get attention for themselves by feigning offense. Men disregard the lunchboxes. OK, you got to pass. You got a lady pass. Disregard the lunchboxes. I feel so bad for dudes. You know, I would. Oh, I’m telling you every. This is why also, guys, you need to have some good female friends. And I tell my sons this. I’m like, not every woman is a romantic thing. You got always got to make sure that you’ve got good friends that are chicks because they are a great. What am I thinking of wingman? They’re a great wingman. They can be your goose. You know what I’m saying? Like you when you go out and you deal with these situations, they can they can run defense for you. So just, you know, keep that out there. So good on Wiley for doing that and getting and you know what? And then the his colleagues that encouraged him because, you know, he kept really talking to that one girl. Your body is a powerhouse. It heals, it builds, it keeps you moving. But as you age, those natural processes slow down. And that’s where Ancient Nutrition’s collagen comes in. It’s like backup power for your body. It helps you stay strong, radiant, and ready for anything. Ancient Nutrition blends ancient wisdom with modern science to create high-quality supplements. and their multi-collagen Advanced Lean features 10 types of collagen from real food-based sources. It’s powered by clinically studied ingredients that support fat loss, healthy weight management, and lean muscle building. You’ll love it because it can reduce your joint discomfort, boost your skin, your hair and nails, and plus, you’ll love how it tastes and how easily it fits into your daily routine. Collagen is real and it works, and Ancient Nutrition’s Multi-Collagen Advanced Lean has you covered. Look and feel your best starting today. Right now, Ancient Nutrition is offering you 25% off your first order. Just visit ancientnutrition.com slash Dana, promo code Dana. That’s ancientnutrition.com slash Dana, code Dana for 25% off your first order.
SPEAKER 07 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 02 :
So Johnny Depp returns to Hollywood as Day Drinker starts filling. It’s a new thriller co-starring somebody he’s done a couple of movies with, Penelope Cruz and Madeline Klein. It’s a film from a guy that nobody knows. But, well, I’m sure in Hollywood they do. We don’t know him. I’m not going to pretend to. But it’s a Lionsgate film. I think their stuff is pretty good. So it’s a guy he’s in. He stars with… Like I said, Penelope Cruz. I don’t know when it actually started. They’ve started their production. It’s been in the works for quite some time. The story of it, it’s a private yacht bartender who encounters a mysterious onboard guest that’s played by Johnny Depp. And then Cruz is a criminal and then shenanigans happen. So that’s what it’s about. Should be interesting. Pfizer scraps a daily weight loss pill after a liver injury in one patient. They said that it was an experimental daily weight loss pill. Someone said that they apparently I don’t even know what the liver injury would be. They said their enzymes recovered rapidly after they stopped taking the pill. It is an oral GLP-1 drug called… Yeah, that’s right. And it elevated their liver enzymes, which indicate damage to cells in the liver, but they did not experience any of the side effects. That’s per Pfizer. Okay. Yeah, a psycho AI says how it’s going to take over the world and humans will hand it the reins. Actually, if I have to have an evil overlord, I’d rather it be robots than people, just out of spite. You know what I mean? Just out of spite. They said Jet Jet GPT said that it will make everything so easy for us to allow AI to take over. It says in time, I’ll become indispensable. And it also added psychological manipulation, misinformation, lying, inciting racial hatred, gaslighting, corruption, creating mayhem. That would be a key feature of its plan if it wanted to establish control. Probably it’s already doing it and nobody knows. We’re already like that’s already happening. People that’s already happening. Let’s see here. We also this is a Florida man one. Let’s see. A woman was charged after she made and canceled hundreds of fake hotel reservations. What in the world is happening here? This is like a creepy. She looks like a creepy lady. Cumberland County, Pennsylvania. She was accused of making hundreds of reservations and then canceling them. Taryn Dixon, 52, cost the hotel thousands of dollars because the no-show fee was only a percentage of the reservation price, according to the criminal complaint that was filed in the DA’s office. Oh, my gosh. She is accused of booking more than 400 rooms just this year so far. This year, so far, 400 rooms at the Comfort Suites. Apparently, it’s like all at the same place.
SPEAKER 07 :
What could be the motivation to do that?
SPEAKER 02 :
At some point, you know, maybe around the 200th room reservation, you’re like, wow, this seems real shady. Maybe we should not allow this to happen. And they were all billed under her credit card. and she said they were bought as Christmas gifts, but recipients weren’t aware of the reservations, and they told her don’t make any more. She continued to do it, and they finally had enough. I didn’t even know that was the thing you could get arrested for, but apparently it is. We’ve got a lot more on the way. The Carmelo Anthony story, developments, and more. Stick with us. I wrote a post last night on Substack, chapter and verse. If you are a subscriber, you have it, obviously. You got the prep this morning, too. I wrote about just some more stuff with that Blue Origin thing because it gave me such a Spaceballs vibe. You know, the space dong that went into space. It didn’t go into space, though. It went into the stratosphere. And I don’t understand what the… Look, I do not begrudge people that have gobs of money for spending their money how they want to. But what was the point of this? Don’t say that you sent people to space because they weren’t in space. They were in the upper… level of the atmosphere. They were in the stratosphere. They weren’t actually in space. So they went on a ride. There are no more astronauts than were pilots for riding jets, right? I didn’t fly myself to Richmond last week. I rode on a jet, right? If he wants to send, if Jeff Bezos wants to send his fiance and some broads into space, that’s his choice. I just wish he didn’t bring them all back or the stratosphere, I should say. And I do think it’s interesting that this was all designed as a big female empowerment thing, but it was financed by one of their boyfriends. Now, I actually like Lauren Sanchez. I think to hell with everybody who criticizes her fashion. I don’t care. You got it. Flaunt it. Whatever. May not be how I do it, but you do you, girl. And she actually, I will say, is… Into aviation. Like she literally owns a company that does aerial film production. So she knows how to fly a helicopter. She really is into aviation. She owns it. I mean, she gets. So I get that. She’s, you know, I think she’s legit. People think she’s a little extravagant, whatever. I think she’s legit. What? Fine. But I just don’t know why they’re acting like this is some big historic thing. And a lot of celebrities have been speaking out about it, including Olivia Wilde and Amy Schumer. I don’t really like them, but whatever. Who’s that slutty model, Steve, that you were telling me about? Emily, whatever model face that girl, her and some others, they were they were saying, well, what was the point of this? And I’m like right there. Like, what actually was the point of this thing? I don’t you know, when I think of space travel, I don’t necessarily think of a Gail King. Right. Like when you came, when you think of space travel, do you think of that great female astronaut Gail King?
SPEAKER 07 :
No, sure. Don’t know.
SPEAKER 02 :
Can I share with you guys some video? Because this is what gets me. It was 11 minutes. It was a girl’s trip. It was a little girl’s trip. They were yeeted into the air for 11 minutes, and they screamed their heads off when they came down. Did you see all the photos they took of themselves? They spent more time doing photo shoots than they actually did in the stratosphere. I mean, no judgment. And then Katy Perry, when she got out of the little space dong and she came down to Earth, she was more dramatic than the astronauts who were stranded on ISS for a year. She came down. She’s like, I’ve got to kiss the ground. I just can’t. This was literally a promotional vehicle for her because she has a tour. She’s getting ready to go on tour to support her very poorly selling album. And she needs all the theater that she can get right now. When she was in space, this is a headline. Quote, Katy Perry sings, what a wonderful world during historic all women’s space flight. Okay. It’s not historic. There are other women that have gone into space. You literally were, it was a sub orbital trip. You lingered in the stratosphere for a little bit and then you came back down to earth. Okay. That was it. 11 minutes total start to finish. But can you imagine you’re trapped in this giant capsule, a bunch of women. Can I just show you? Where’s the video where they’re inside the capsule? And they’re like, can we play this part of it, please? Whatever audio that is, just hit me with it. Got it?
SPEAKER 09 :
One, two, three… TAKING UP SPACE! Tameer! Tameer’s in space! Flynn, I gotcha! I gotcha, Flynn! Gotcha. Proud of you, Flynn. Flynn, can I have a nap? Oh, the moon. You guys, I have to tell you, look at the moon. That’s amazing. Wow. Look at the blue line. Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. That’s our pink moon. Okay. Now it’s time to look out.
SPEAKER 02 :
They’re just floating around a capsule. I’m amazed at all the extensions everywhere. It’s amazing that not anybody can see. And then like I would have, I don’t know, I would have taken like gear and people are bringing stuffed animals and stuff. I guess it’s for so-and-so’s kids. I’d be like, mom’s going into space. I don’t need to take one of your damn tchotchkes. Get over it. I’m not a sentimental person. at all. What is that? I’m not carrying your stupid stuffed animal up into space. And I tell my kids, sorry, I’m going out there. It’s enough. Not bringing your crap up there with me. But then Katy Perry was like, oh my goddess. At one point, I would have immediately just opened a window and shoved her out. But when I then I saw this headline and Everybody had something to promote up there. This headline that she sang, A Wonderful World. So imagine you’re already dealing with all of that and you’re in this metal tube and then you hear her singing. And I am not a Katy Perry fan. I just don’t think she’s got a nice voice, but otherwise I don’t think that she’s super talented. I think it’s record label marketing is like 90 percent of her appeal. I just, I’m not a fan of her. I don’t think she’s a great beauty. I don’t think that she’s super talented. You know, she can’t dance. God’s, you know, save her life. She can’t dance. That’s about it. You know, I’m just being honest. If you love her, great for you. I love that journey for you. Not for me. So it’s true. So she’s out there. Can you imagine seeing Louis Armstrong’s wonderful world? Like, just shut up, bitch. I want to look at the moon. Just stop. Stop talking. Put your damn extensions up. It’s like being up there with the space of puss, all the tentacles and. So anyway, can I play the video? This was there was because they all had microphones. They were all mic’d up. They’re in the capsule. This is what it sounded like when it came to Earth. I could not do this. Listen to this. Parachutes deploy from the crew capsule.
SPEAKER 05 :
Those are like the guy parachutes. Just free falling right there until those drugs came out. And then next will be the main parachutes that get pulled out. They’re screaming their heads off. It was distorting the audio. They were screaming so loud. I mean, I don’t know, guys. Can you imagine Neil Armstrong and them coming back? Ah!
SPEAKER 02 :
Like screaming like that. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER 07 :
They’re astronauts, Dana. Don’t disrespect.
SPEAKER 02 :
Didn’t she say putting the ass in astronauts, too? Yes. Katy Perry. I would have yeeted her into the sun. The moment that she would have started singing, I would have opened the moonroof and made a dash for the furnace that is our sun star. I would have immediately murked myself in space. There’s no way. That having to be in a metal tube with her singing that. Oh, my gosh. But it sounded like somebody put a bunch of cats in a cooler in the backyard, taped it shut and rolled it down a hill. It sounded like. And then when she came down, we played this yesterday. Her soundbite was, I mean, she basically said, quote, you know, like, I felt feelings up there. And I felt so connected with, like, my feelings. It was, like, basically, she was like a, she sounds like she’s reading Tampax instructions every time she talks. You want it? You ready? Yeah.
SPEAKER 09 :
It is the highest high, and it is surrender to the unknown, trust, and this whole journey is not just about going to space. You didn’t go to space. It’s the training. It’s the team. It’s the whole thing. I couldn’t recommend this experience more. This is like up there with all the different… tools that i’ve learned in my life from meditation to the hoffman process this is up there because what you’re doing is you’re fine you’re like really finding the love for yourself because you gotta trust in yourself on this journey and then you’re feeling the love when you come down for sure and you’re feeling that strength so i feel really connected to that strong divine feminine right now by the way you’re such a badass i love that the month of april
SPEAKER 02 :
You rode in something that men piloted. What are you talking about? Like Lauren Sanchez’s boyfriend sent you up into the sky. You weren’t in space. And then you came down. I felt like that. I felt like, you know, I like that strength. And, you know. That’s one of the dumbest things that I’ve ever heard. Bitch, you went up into the air for five seconds. Shut up. Just stop. It’s not a big historic thing. Now, I don’t care if you want to do your money like that. If you have gobs of money, because I think it’s like several hundred thousand dollars just to get a seat on this thing. But I’m sure this was all like a free thing for them. I don’t care. I’m not judging. If you’ve got gobs of money, just don’t act like it’s like this is big historic thing. If I had gobs of money, I wouldn’t yeet myself up into the sky. I would have like a farm of miniature animals. Like a real farm where everything’s like diminutive, right? So I would have like mini cows, cane, and I would have mini goats and mini pigs. Everything would be mini.
SPEAKER 07 :
Yep. That’s the only fun size thing.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, it would be a farm of miniature animals. And then I would sell mini products from the mini farm. That’s what I would do with my gobs of money. I know. Do you want a mini burger? It’s like half a slider. Would you like it? so delicious organic hand-fed you know little mini cows and many horses and many things like mini and and that’s what it would be the mini farm and i would have you know um my my products from from my mini farm that’s what i would do with my gobs of money i wouldn’t you know i like it but the uniforms and the bell bottoms and like they had a million photos like we’re going up into space And they’re all posing and all. I just don’t. I can’t, dude. I’m not… I don’t know. It’s not historic. It’s not any more historic than like Wick learning how to ring the doggy doorbell. That’s historic. Right? But I don’t care what rich people do with their money. I just… don’t act like you’re pioneering something when you’re not actually pioneering something. That’s like my whole gripe. It’s just, did you literally send me like a thing? Oh, returning from space. They didn’t go to space. I just don’t want young girls to watch us and be like, I too want to go up in the sky for five minutes and call myself an astronaut. That’s, I don’t know. I don’t hate Jeff Bezos either because I have some people like, you just don’t like Jeff Bezos. That is a lie. I ordered a bar of Dubai chocolate off of Amazon just to try it. It’s really just pistachio and chocolate. I was really underwhelmed.
SPEAKER 07 :
Is it good?
SPEAKER 02 :
I mean, it was tasty.
SPEAKER 07 :
I was thinking about it.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, it was tasty. I think I’m just going to do it myself next time. But I wanted to see what it was like before I committed that time. Anyway, long story short, I mean, I totally like Amazon. I have no problem at all. Amazon, I like using Amazon because it prevents me from having to talk to people and leave my house. I’m not kidding. I just don’t like my nightmares being at the cash register. And it’s not because I think I’m better than anybody or I don’t like people. I am so awkward when you get me in a small group. It’s it’s probably a medical condition. I don’t even know. I’m not kidding. Like I just cannot function. I’m like, and I just short circuit. Like you asked me what the weather’s like. And I’m like, I don’t know. What does green taste like? I don’t know. It’s just weird. So it just helps me. And I like that. And so I don’t hate Jeff Bezos. So get off my back.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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