SPEAKER 04 : 0:00

Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.

SPEAKER 03 : 0:06

It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.

SPEAKER 01 : 0:14

Okay, I’ve got two questions for you about this story. First off, who steals a tricycle? And secondly, what is an adult tricycle? I’m thinking big wheels. Why don’t they make those? Basically an unrelated third question. I just love those. Those were amazing, right? And I didn’t like it when the pedals got stripped. But man alive, big wheels were where it’s at. Man, if I could get some with engines, I would blow everybody away. If there was a big wheels race, okay, where am I going? I don’t know. So this is in Arcadia, Florida. And here’s why I ask this. Because there’s a woman who stole an adult tricycle. I don’t even know what that is. And she was in a tiger print onesie. They identified her, but they can’t find her. Her voicemail’s full, and they can’t find the tricycle. It’s petty theft. But they literally said, if you see somebody in a tiger onesie on her tricycle, please call the sheriff’s office. And I’m just trying to figure out, what is an adult tricycle? I’ve never heard of this.

SPEAKER 03 : 1:09

One that’s big enough to hold an adult?

SPEAKER 01 : 1:10

Is it motor-powered? I’m afraid to write adult into any kind of search engine.

SPEAKER 03 : 1:15

It might have an engine or a motor. I just think it’s larger.

SPEAKER 01 : 1:18

I mean, all it’s showing me are bikes. I don’t even know. It’s just a three-wheel bike. That’s like, really? I would imagine, like, I would think it would have some fatty, fat tires and, you know, like an engine, something like a Hemi. I don’t know. Can you imagine? Oh, my gosh. All right. Oh, this is crazy. A doorbell camera. There’s the lady in the onesie. She’s the one who stole the tricycle. Now, here’s something. If you see this chick, if you see that broad in the tiger onesie on an adult trike, you know, you holler at the popo. Doorbell camera catches a Florida gator. Now they’re progressing, guys. Now they’re walking. A Florida gator standing on two legs and literally knocking on the door. It literally gets up on its two legs and knocks on the door. Now, they can climb. I’m sorry. I love Florida. But one of the reasons, probably the biggest reason I could never maybe move there is this. They will climb up your fences, up your walls, knocking your doors. So it’s on Reddit. It was on Reddit. And he said, meanwhile in Florida. And it shows two gators. One of them stands up on its back legs and literally knocks on the door. And it’s all on camera. uh they were able to call florida fish and wildlife but so far by the time florida fish and wildlife got there because it was an emergency it was not an emergency call they had the gators kind of wandered away but i wouldn’t like you have animals would you feel comfortable letting your you know i mean there’s gators if there’s like a little pond there’s a pothole in the road there’s a gator in it i mean it’s that one shown you that’s what it did that’s from his ring doorbell camera this florida man the gators are evolving so it’s happening our partner’s over at all family pharmacies. This is one of my favorite, favorite people to work with. And not just because I’m actually a customer. It’s like that hair club for men thing. Not only am I, I’m also the president. Well, I’m not the president, but I love what they do because medicines that you need, and especially those therapeutics that the government tried to prevent you from getting during lockdown are, Well, they have all of it. They’ve got the ivermectin. They’ve got the hydroxychloroquine. They have all of the antibiotics. They also have your everyday medications. And they’re affordable. It’s simple and it’s fast. If you don’t have insurance, not an issue because they have very straightforward affordable pricing, online ordering. Shipping is just two to four days. You can also do overnight in a pinch, which I have done before because, oh my gosh, I was getting strep throat over Thanksgiving. I thought I was going to die. And I’m like, I couldn’t get to urgent care. There was a line. They got it to me overnight. And I was immediately able to start getting better and still host Thanksgiving. It was amazing. And not infect everybody. It was so nice. The other thing that I love is everything is made in the U.S. You can’t say that with other medications or the inputs from other medications. But you can say that with All Family Pharmacy. None of the stuff comes from either China nor India. It’s all manufactured all from right here in the U.S. of A. So they have very high standards of quality and safety. Visit allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana. Get 10% off with promo code Dana. Be prepared. Protect yourself and your family today with allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana. Coupon code Dana10 to save 10%.

SPEAKER 04 : 4:26

No, I know you’re not. If you come into this country illegally, you are going home. Simple as that. We do not have unlimited resources in this country to take care of other people.

SPEAKER 05 : 4:33

There’s a hell of a lot of people other than the black people who were brought here as slaves who came to this country illegally.

SPEAKER 04 : 4:39

They’re not the same as black people who were brought here against our will. That’s exactly what I just said. They decided to walk their butts across the border. There’s a big difference. There is a big difference. That’s exactly what I just said.

SPEAKER 05 : 4:49

That’s exactly what I just said, Sir Michael. We can act indignant. That’s exactly what I just said.

SPEAKER 01 : 4:55

Yes, it is. You just heard me say that. That’s other than the black people.

SPEAKER 05 : 5:00

There are a lot of people from many countries that came here illegally. I think you misheard what she said. No, he purposely misheard it. She said. Yes, she did.

SPEAKER 01 : 5:09

So now you’re in my brain.

SPEAKER 05 : 5:10

Chair Michael, listen to me for just a second. Is that where we’re going?

SPEAKER 04 : 5:12

Chair Michael, listen to me for a second.

SPEAKER 05 : 5:14

You think I would say I would have advocated for black people my entire life and say something like that?

SPEAKER 04 : 5:18

Because you’ve advocated for black people, great. Congratulations. Last time I checked, I’m black. You’re not. Okay, Chair Michael.

SPEAKER 05 : 5:23

That’s right. I’m Latino and my people are being racially profiled.

SPEAKER 04 : 5:26

Do I have to remind you the history of my people? Do you want to go there? We’re going to go to break.

SPEAKER 05 : 5:34

Raul Reyes, thank you very much for joining us.

SPEAKER 01 : 5:36

Everybody else hang tight. Abby Phillips cannot control the panel. First off, that was a hot mess. I mean, I expect to see, you know, a woman act like that and, you know, maybe a dollar store or Waffle House at 2 a.m. or Waffle House at 2 a.m. drunk and slapping people with her flip flop. But I don’t expect to see her acting like that, you know, on a set. So that was Anna Navarro and Shermichael Singleton. And I’m highlighting it for the specific purpose of Identity Politic Olympics. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you. So this, I thought, was one of the craziest things. Anna Navarro was just mad in this segment because she realizes that she loses authority by not being the only minority on set. That is where her soul, all of her influence and everything comes from. That’s all she talks about every day. That’s all she ever talks about. Every conversation that I’ve ever seen. It’s not like I follow her. I’ve never gone to her for insight, sidebar. When when I was getting into politics at the policy level back in 08, 09, you know, everything else from the Tea Party, she was there on the right. She was always trying to get on Fox and she was always writing op eds, but she never really had any traction. She was just kind of basic. Right. And it wasn’t until she decided to get TDS and go on a rampage and pretend to be a Republican while going on The View. And then she got the slot on The View. I honestly don’t know how she considers herself a Republican because she’s on the left side of Republicans on every single issue. And I tend to think Republicans, by and large, are pretty moderate. That’s why I’m not one, because they’re too moderate for me. I just don’t subscribe to any particular party because they’re all stupid. That said, I don’t know why she calls herself a Republican, because she’s so far to the left of any Republican policy and she has a problem with all of it. But that’s like her and David Brock, who started Media Matters. That’s sort of their M.O. They didn’t get enough appreciation on the right. And so out of spite, they just decided to reject their ideology and go to the left because the left would use them. And they mistake being used with appreciation. They mistake being played as influence. And it’s kind of embarrassing to watch an older woman get played like that by producers and the left. She’s just mad because she sits on that panel and she’s not the only minority. She doesn’t have any authority derived from being the only minority on set. She does not want to share any intersectionality because that’s all she brings to the table. It’s her whole entire grift. And that’s why she talks about it endlessly. Every response that she has, like all of these videos that we’ve played before, I think in honesty, it’s only been like a couple. But she always taught, well, I’m a Latina, I’m this, I’m blah, blah, blah. And she’s constantly playing identity politics as a way to shut everyone up and sort of try to gain attention. an alpha position at the table based upon that. And what Kane and I were talking about on break is that play still on television, at least with the old crowd, it plays on television because that’s, I mean, clearly she thinks that there’s a value in that. And I think previously it used, maybe people were too, I don’t think it was value. I think it was bullying. People did not want to be accused of a moral failing because they disagreed with a minority. And so, and that’s how it was. I mean, Ever. Oh, my gosh. My whole entire life in politics. That’s all it’s been. If you disagree with this, you’re a racist. You don’t even have to have to disagree with someone who had a different skin color or background. You could not want to vote for Hillary Clinton, the old white woman who fell down in Manhattan and lost a Tory Burch slipper. And you’re called a racist. But that’s that’s a grift. It’s identity politics. And so she’s sitting there across from sure. Michael Singleton, who’s a conservative. And he was accurate in calling out her super dumb comparison. And she did make a dumb comparison. And if she wanted to make it clearer, she should have spoken better instead of mush mouthing and running all of her words together. I mean, nobody knows what you’re saying when you’re talking like the micro machine man and you’re like, I mean, you’re not, you know, this is this is not one too many mimosas brunch. You’re on a panel on a morning show. Act like it, you know, speak clearly, articulate your words, have like ideas. And the defense can’t always be, well, I’m Latino, so you can’t disagree with me. No one gives a rat’s ass. Spare us, you racist bitch. I’m so tired of this stuff. And that’s exactly what it is. Oh, quote me. I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of the grift that these people have day in and day out. They’re racists. And she tries to shut up a guy for being conservative by acting like she’s the white adjacent savior of the black race that there was at one point in that. She’s like, well, I’ve I’ve defended, you know, blah, blah, blah. My, you know, my whole life. Black America. Who cares? Are you supposed to get a special trophy for this? I mean, that’s like an actual racist remark. So you get to shut someone else down and you get to demonize and diminish their background by making this absolutely illogical and embarrassing comparison to criminal illegal entry. And you compare it really awkwardly to slavery. And then when he just makes a reasonable objection, you lose your mind and become a stereotype. Right. That’s embarrassing. And I’m just tired of seeing this. That’s all CNN has. CNN’s like, okay, do we have the black commentator, the Hispanic commentator, the white Anglo-Saxon Protestant? Let’s make sure that we have… I don’t think people care about it anymore because they were forced to make it a priority completely the opposite of how I was raised. Cain, when we were younger, no one cared about this. No one cared about what race you were. Nope. I mean, you know how goofy this is? When I was younger, I had friends, some of my very good, my very, very close friends were Hispanic. And I just, it never registered with me. It never, because no one obsessed over it. We just did our thing. Are you cool? Do you want to hang out? Okay. Oh, we like the same music. That’s awesome. Yay. Oh, we’re both in the same sport. Yay. That’s great. We like some, I mean, that’s, that’s all it was. You just didn’t And it didn’t matter if they were Hispanic or black or Asian or whatever or Indian. One of my very good friends was Indian. And we just didn’t even care. No one sat around and focused on, so you’re Indian, talk to me about that. Or you’re black, let’s discuss. We just didn’t do that. That was not a phenomenon until… I guess when I started at college and then it started becoming a thing and I noticed that it was becoming a thing because people were putting that as their identity first and foremost above everything else. And my first experience. When I was a freshman in college, one of the people that I met and became friends with, she was a black woman. And we got along really good. You know, we liked a lot of the same food, you know. And I mean, obviously, we had clearly we had differences, but it wasn’t just it wasn’t something that we really focused on. And then I knew I saw kind of going in my sophomore year that she started to be a little bit more identity forward. She had joined a couple of groups in college and she started to be a little bit more identity forward. And then by the time, you know, I we were leaving and graduating, it was we just didn’t really talk anymore because she had become very, very militant in that. And I started to see other people get very, very militant in terms of being. That’s your that is your identity first and foremost above anything else, above being a Christian, above being an American, even above being like a woman like that, that that became. And it didn’t matter if you were black or Muslim or Asian or Indian or whatever. That became like the thing immediately like, OK, here’s this. We’re never going to be very close because you and I don’t share this identity politic. And that’s when I really started noticing it take root. And it was really sad because that was not anything that, you know, and and then there were all of these manufactured, you know, victimization stories. I don’t know. But I just saw this and I’m like, that is so that was really bitchy to do to him. To say that. And you can tell she got mad because he objected. She is not used to having her identity politic contested, particularly on a national stage. And I probably would say particularly by someone who, you know, if you really wanted to argue identity politics, probably has a bigger box to check than she does. I don’t think that he was participating in it. I think that he was highlighting her absurdity with absurdity. And she just wasn’t quick enough to get it. She’s not smart enough to see it. That was one of the most embarrassing exchanges I’ve ever seen. If I was a producer, I’d be like, I can’t have her back on the show because it turned into like kindergarten fighting. That was embarrassing, but that’s what it is. I mean, and I’ve seen people like this. I’ve seen people like this on the right, too. This identity politic, you know, the phrase the woke right. That is a real thing. There are people on the right that use identity politics as kind of like a shield, simultaneously a shield and a cudgel, the same way that they do on the left. Identity politics is identity politics, and it doesn’t matter what the rest of your politics are. If you subscribe to that, that is a communist left tactic. And you’re you’re practicing it when you subscribe to that. But that was insane. Can you imagine, you know, acting like, well, yeah, but I’ve defended black people. Like, oh, oh, yes, NASA. That means that you can be the ultimate authority over me. Oh, you’ve that’s like saying, yes, I have black friends. Is that the same thing as saying it? That’s like that’s the exact same thing. Good heavens. That was just so embarrassing. It was a very embarrassing discussion. It did not go well with him. Kel-Tec, they make some very amazing things. I was telling you about their new 5.7. It’s the PR57 Chambered in 5.7 Rotary Barrel Pistol. Of course, difference, they’ve got the, instead of the magazine, they got a stripper clip. So you got slimmer profile, 20 plus one capacity as well. But they also have a new 10 millimeter that they are out with. And this is brand new. I found this out weeks ago and I wasn’t able to talk about it until now. They’re raising the bar again. It’s the third generation sub 2K. Folds fast. Optics stay in place. And it deploys super fast. Zeroed and ready. It’s innovation with a twist. Now available in 10mm. And it folds down to 16.5 inches. Easy to transport. Easy to store. Standard 15 round Glock 20 mag. Yes, it does take Glock mags. You’ve got ample capacity. for whatever your shooting needs are. Optional extended mag. And you’ve got a 50-round drum even that you can have for extended sessions at the range with fewer reloads. This is all from the great minds at Kel-Tec. They make everything right here in the USA. U.S. labor, U.S. materials, U.S. workers, everything. And they stand behind every product they make. We need more companies like Kel-Tec. Learn more at keltecweapons.com, innovationperformancekeltec, K-E-L-T-E-C, weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.

SPEAKER 03 : 16:50

And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.

SPEAKER 01 : 16:55

So, apparently there’s a new social revolution sweeping America. It’s the hot new club called Staying In. It’s your house and your music and all your food in your fridge. What? Literally, apparently, like, that’s the thing. It means avoiding nightlife. I think a lot of that might be driven by the economy, too, if I’m being honest. 72% of adults prefer their living room to nightlife. Can I be real, though? I’ve always been like this my whole life. When I am out somewhere, it is always reluctantly. Kane will attest to it. I am a hobbit. I actually could be happy being the only person on earth forever. I think I’m one of the only people that could live like that. I am completely fine. I’ll entertain myself, do my hobbies, you know, whatever. I’m totally fine with it. As long as I have dogs. Now, that’s different. But they said that three quarters of Americans would rather stay home than go out. And that includes with friends, with or without friends. They would even rather stay in their homes and have friends over than even go out with people. so it’s kind of interesting i don’t know i think some of it a lot of this is gen z driven gen z are also hobbits because they were raised by us gen x who are the original hobbits what are you now what is this oh barbara stricey and his debut i don’t care i literally don’t care they’re doing an album with a barbara streisand is one of the most overrated performers on god’s green earth i don’t get it like yeah that’s news i mean you know don’t try to convince me you’re not gonna i don’t get it i just don’t get her i have a couple of friends that think she’s so great and i’m like you’re young what does it matter with you like she’s not she has like one range it’s the same i’m gonna get hate mail I will not get as much hate mail for saying that I hated ABBA, though. People wanted to light me on fire for that. Don’t get me. I mean, it’s just not my bag. They’re talented. I think they have more talent than her, so it’s okay. What’s happening on planes? A flight attendant had to wrestle a crazy chick to the ground because she tried to storm the cockpit on a plane to New York. Was she a New Yorker? That might make sense. And she’s an older Karen, too. And she tried to get… Did she think it was the bathroom? No. She it was called a strange coup attempt and she was mad. It was an American Airlines flight and she was upset that it was delayed. And of course, you know, she’s going to be facing charges because you can’t be doing that kind of you can’t be like acting like a fool on the plane like that. That’s crazy. I this is honestly, we’ve had one of these headlines every single day. but it was a New York-bound American Airlines flight. And for the first part of the video, everyone just stands around very visibly confused. Like, are we being punked? Because she was so over the top. Homebuyer mortgage demands drop further as economic uncertainty roils the housing market. That’s to be expected. The average rate for a 30-year decrease, 6.8 from 6.9. But buyers are hitting pause all still. Stick with us. More to come.

SPEAKER 02 : 19:55

You know, first, they came for the Latinos… Outside of the Home Depot’s trying to get work so that they could feed their families. And I didn’t say anything about it because I’m not a Latino at the Home Depot.

SPEAKER 01 : 20:20

Now, that was the only like mildly entertaining part of what’s his face? Hank Johnson, Guam tip over his remarks because it all fell apart. He couldn’t rhyme anything else after that. And I what is that even from? This is like some cat in the hat, green eggs and ham. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you. We are at the top of this third hour coming up. We’re going to have two guests simultaneously, General Randy George, who is Chief of Staff of the Army and Secretary of the Army, Dan Driscoll, who I’ve met before. I told you this a few months ago, sat down with him and was talking to him about a number of things, including recruitment and then, of course, tech and drones. Drone warfare, there’s several things that make me nervous. Hunting wild hogs, because they’re terrifying, and drones, and also crickets, but that’s a whole other story. It made me very nervous. They fly at your face. It’s crazy. Anyway, so he’s going to sit down and talk with us, because there’s a lot of changes coming through DOD, and they’re going to discuss, and that’s coming up at the bottom of this hour. So welcome, Dana Lash. Listen coast to coast. The chat’s at Rumble. If you’re not listening terrestrially in one of our hundreds of stations, you’re probably watching the stream on Channel 347 or on Facebook or on X or, like I said, over at Rumble. So, Kane, that was downright poetic from Hank Johnson. Don’t you agree? I feel like that man’s going to receive a Pulitzer.

SPEAKER 03 : 21:54

Yeah, so artful.

SPEAKER 01 : 21:57

The Latinos at Home Depot.

SPEAKER 03 : 21:59

You ever hung out at a Home Depot? Just, you know, as an observation. Racist as hell.

SPEAKER 01 : 22:06

Oh, yeah. Oh, so bad. Racist as hell. It’s so bad. But did you see the look on his face? Like right before the clip ends, the way he’s like wistfully looking at the people watching him. I honestly, he’s got this look on his face of smug cleverness. He thinks that what he’s doing is really smart.

SPEAKER 03 : 22:25

Yeah, he thought what he said was clever.

SPEAKER 01 : 22:26

He’s a new beat poet.

SPEAKER 03 : 22:27

He thought what he said was clever.

SPEAKER 01 : 22:30

Well, man.

SPEAKER 03 : 22:30

Because Latino and Home Depot.

SPEAKER 01 : 22:33

Whoa, man. So I married an ex-murderer. Really underappreciated. That is racist as all get out.

SPEAKER 03 : 22:41

Latino at Home Depot.

SPEAKER 01 : 22:43

You know, there are a lot of other people at the Home Depot. I like going. My husband doesn’t like it because I think you know how sometimes men will go and they want a man trip, like a man errand, a quest. They want to go on their own man quest and they don’t want their wives to go along with them because I will completely distract you from everything.

SPEAKER 03 : 22:59

Guys do get new ideas on how to build stuff when they walk through.

SPEAKER 01 : 23:02

So do women.

SPEAKER 03 : 23:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER 01 : 23:04

when we walk through, don’t let me near the garden center because I’ll, I’ll be creating chores right and left, right and left. But, um, you know, other people besides Latinos like to hang out at home Depot, you old racist. That’s just, I mean, I, when I, I, I kind of, I want to laugh cause he thought it was real clever when, and we did, it goes on forever, but it falls apart after that because then he can’t rhyme anything else and it looks so dumb. But he thought that that was a great, Oh, this is my sound.

SPEAKER 03 : 23:30

Remember, this is from the party that says they don’t like stereotypes.

SPEAKER 01 : 23:34

Yeah, they don’t like stereotypes, but the Latinos at the Home Depot, you know, everybody likes to go to a home improvement store, whether it’s Lowe’s or Home Depot. They all like going, right? I mean, like I said, I like going. I like going and going down the aisles that have all the doodads in them. I just want to go look for the, all the men are dying. I just like looking at the sign. I’m like, where is the doodad aisle? Because I’m sure there’s something that I don’t have.

SPEAKER 03 : 23:58

Every aisle is the doodad aisle.

SPEAKER 01 : 24:00

Yeah, but there’s like things and stuff. It’s crazy. And then when you go to like the science experiment aisle where they have their tinctures and their, I don’t know, like their caulk and the glue and glue guns. Are we still talking about Home Depot? Huh?

SPEAKER 03 : 24:14

Are we still talking about Home Depot? Yes.

SPEAKER 01 : 24:16

Yes. I don’t know. There’s like things that you can do with it. There’s stuff that’s dangerous. Probably if you got it in your eyes and if you got it, you can do stuff with it. I don’t know. I just like going and I’m like, there are so many things here. I am. It’s amazing. I like going to the Home Depot and my Chris goes with me. He, he goes and he’s like, there’s a couple of things I want to go. Maybe I’ll look around, you know? And I’m like, let’s look at all the things. And then I tell him, did you know that they have this? And he’s like, yes, I know. I’m a man. I know these things.

SPEAKER 03 : 24:46

For several years now, when I walk by the plywood and the lumber and all that, I’m like…

SPEAKER 01 : 24:50

man that price of wood right i don’t even know what the price of wood was before because i don’t build stuff regularly but i look at it now i’m like whoa that’s crazy i know but there’s just all kinds of things fun things to look at right that i and and like great inventions that you’re you think why didn’t i think of this this is a great idea this is a great product and then what i do is I take a photo of it, like a psycho, and I’m like, that’s a great idea, just because I want to remember how good of an idea it is. I’ll take a picture of it. Does anybody else do that? Me? No, I don’t know. And I like the way it smells in there, because it smells like wood shavings and paint, and I love that. I love the smell of gas.

SPEAKER 04 : 25:29

Can we run that clip again? I have something for that.

SPEAKER 01 : 25:31

Okay, yeah, go ahead. The Latinos in Home Depot?

SPEAKER 04 : 25:34

Please.

SPEAKER 02 : 25:35

The Hank Johnson? Okay, yeah, Steve’s begging. You know, first, they came for the Latinos… Outside of the Home Depot. I don’t think the TV. Trying to get work. Audience is hearing this. So that they could feed their families.

SPEAKER 01 : 25:51

We’re playing the Home Depot game.

SPEAKER 02 : 25:53

And I didn’t say anything about it. Because I’m not a Latino at the Home Depot. Oh, there it is. There it is.

SPEAKER 01 : 26:02

That’s like an ad. I mean. That is an ad. I mean, I like where can you go to find Latinos at the Home Depot? And it’s just Hank Johnson for Home Depot. Man, that is like such an identifying riff, isn’t it, though? Yeah, it’s iconic. By the way, I asked Grok. I said, can you write a story about Latinos at Home Depot? Good Lord. I did.

SPEAKER 04 : 26:38

You didn’t.

SPEAKER 01 : 26:38

Yeah. You ready?

SPEAKER 04 : 26:40

Hold on. Do we need this again? Yeah. We’re going to need it.

SPEAKER 01 : 26:45

The Home Depot on Cesar Chavez Boulevard buzzed under the Texas sun. It’s parking lot, a mosaic of pickup trucks, low riders and minivans blasting everything from Bad Bunny to classic Tejano. It was Saturday morning. And the store was a second home for half the neighborhood. Among the aisles of lumber and paint cans, three Latinos, Javier, Marisol, and Diego, crossed paths, each on their own mission, but bound by the unspoken rhythm of community. Javier, a wiry contractor in his 40s with a faded Astro cap, pushed a flatbed cart piled high with 2x4s and drywall. He’d been up since 5 a.m. bidding on a remodeled job in East Austin. Mira, I’m telling you, this gentrification’s got everyone wanting shiplap, he grumbled to his cousin Diego, who trailed behind with a bag of concrete mix slung over his shoulder. Diego, 25, and fresh off a landscaping gig, laughed. Shiplap, man.

SPEAKER 03 : 27:45

Two shiplaps?

SPEAKER 01 : 27:47

I belated as I said that in the 70s. Call it vintage charge double. Javier dropped the tool corral, eyeing a new DeWalt drill. If I win this bid, I’m upgrading. These clients want artisan, but my wallet’s screaming bargain. Diego smirked, tossing a roll of painter’s tape under the cart. Oh, it goes on. Marisol navigated the garden center, her toddler Sophia giggling in the cart. I mean, it goes on. It’s amazing. At Home Depot, an employee named Carlos spotted her puzzled look and strolled over, orange apron swinging. And there it is.

SPEAKER 03 : 28:21

More mentions of Latinos at Home Depot.

SPEAKER 01 : 28:23

Latinos at Home Depot. Courtesy of Hank Johnson.

SPEAKER 04 : 28:27

By the way, this song on the internet is called Let’s Do It. There’s a word for the name of the song. And someone uploaded an hour continuous mix of this.

SPEAKER 01 : 28:35

Are you serious? That’s actually amazing. A continuous one hour mix. I think my kids made this the ringtone for Pawpaw because he worked at Home Depot for a while. My stepdaddy, when he retired, he got bored to death on day two of retirement. And he’s like, I’m going to go work at Home Depot because he’s forklift certified, which why is that? Is that a big thing with you dudes? Is that a big thing, Steve? Forklift certification?

SPEAKER 04 : 29:00

I don’t think so. Not with me.

SPEAKER 01 : 29:03

Okay. Maybe DJ Fun Uncle is like an outlier here.

SPEAKER 03 : 29:06

Yeah. I mean, you have to be able to operate large equipment, right? So you need some sort of certification.

SPEAKER 01 : 29:10

Apparently, Gen Z thinks that’s a measure of a man is whether or not you can drive a forklift.

SPEAKER 03 : 29:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER 01 : 29:15

but and he you know fair yeah so so he and he he liked home depot he liked working there and then he got bored and he wanted to change it up because you know he had all the seniority going in there but i think that was his ringtone for a while papa’s ringtone was the guy that actually wrote that can you imagine being the dude that wrote that dude little riff it’s very simple it’s almost like peter gunn it’s this very simple little guitar line that’s all it is how do we get on that subject i have no idea anyway okay so uh yeah Hank Johnson. Damn you, Hank Johnson. At least we’re not talking about Guam tipping over and rolling over in the ocean like an iceberg or something. Good heavens. That is Democrats for you. It’s Democrats. That’s what it is.

SPEAKER 04 : 29:57

Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.