On this episode of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, we dive into some of the wildest stories from the Sunshine State, tackling everything from golfing antics that turned violent to bizarre wildlife encounters. We explore the curses of slow play at the golf course and meet a Florida Man who’s taken the course of action too far. Amid the laughter, we also pause to reflect on the deeper rationales and the implications of such behavior in everyday society.
For 85 years, Connex Credit Union has been your trusted partner on life’s financial journey. Community focused, always listening and lending a hand. Here for you every step of the way. Whether you’re saving for your first home, a degree, or a rainy day, we’ve been here for 85 years, helping our community save more, growing stronger together. Connex, banking for your possibilities. Visit connexcu.org. Equal housing opportunity. NMLS 458548. Federally insured by NCUA.
SPEAKER 06 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 04 :
All right, so a couple here. Sorry, look into this. This Florida Man punches a golfer in the face because he was playing too slow. See, this is why I feel like I could never really get into golf, because everybody’s always in a bad mood. And whenever we have a golf story that’s, you know, related and that’s always in Florida, man, it’s always violent. Somebody gets mad. Somebody hits somebody with their club. Something happens. This guy is facing charges of aggravated battery causing bodily harm. Deputies say that Jason Hughes beat a man over the pace of play. He was frustrated at his local golf course. And the man who was hit had an orbital fracture and he did stitches. Good night. So he was upset because the guy was playing slow. He apparently told him more than one time to hurry up. And then when the man was talking to his friend while on the green, that apparently made Hughes mad. And then he attacked him unprovoked. I mean, Cain… I mean, in golf, you socialize in that, right? It’s not like you don’t speed through it.
SPEAKER 10 :
No, you don’t. I mean, there are tee times and there are some things. You can’t be a lollygagger. But, yeah, this guy went a little far.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah. So I just, yeah. So he attacked him on provoke, started punching him in the face. They were separated by their playing partners. And then he was in his playing partner, got in the golf cart, and then took it to their car in the lot and drove off before deputies arrived. Yeah, it seems like he, they’re like, I don’t know how slow the guy was going, but I thought golf was supposed to be relaxing. Just saying. Thought it was supposed to be relaxing. Here we go. Golf clubs. Florida man was charged after he repeatedly beat an alligator with a golf club. I can’t believe you’re trying to make me feel bad.
SPEAKER 10 :
A lot of golf beatings today.
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About an alligator getting beaten because they’re terrifying. So the guy’s facing a felony charge. He beat an alligator with a golf club in what authorities describe as an unauthorized and brutal act. Hunter Crumbo. That’s his name. Hunter Crumbo. I bet it’s Hunter Biden. He was arrested, charged with a felony, taking possession of an alligator without a permit, which I didn’t know that was a charge. But they located the alligator. Apparently it was being beaten with a golf club. He said that apparently it had a fishing lure in his mouth. And the guy wanted it, not for the safety of the alligator, but apparently he just wanted the lure back. And so that’s how, yeah, that’s the alligator’s lure now. It’s the alligator’s lure. You don’t sit there and beat it with a bat or a golf club unless it’s attacking you or your dog. Then I’m like, okay with it. For self-defense, but not just, you know, for this. Stick with us. Taking charge of your health is easier with All Family Pharmacy. If you’ve been hearing about the latest in brain and cellular health, you’re not alone. Methylene Blue is making waves for supporting focus, mental clarity, memory, and mood. RFK Jr. has been talking about using it. And NAD+, that’s your body’s natural energy booster. It helps cells repair and potentially slows signs of aging. With All Family Pharmacy, you now have access to these cutting-edge treatments. Whether you’re interested in Methylene Blue, NAD+, or even an emergency kit for your family, this is a pharmacy that you can trust. No corporate gatekeepers, no big pharma middlemen, and no bureaucratic roadblocks. All Family Pharmacy uses 100% domestically sourced materials for all their medications, ensuring top quality and safety. So go ahead and visit allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana and use code Dana10 for 10% off your order. And while you’re there, check out their full list, over 200 medications available, including ivermectin, antibiotics, and more. That’s allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana, code Dana10.
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SPEAKER 04 :
And then it doesn’t help that they’re golden boy. is such a starkly blatant hypocrite. And they don’t even care. So I was looking at this, this story, because I thought a lot of people were going to be up in arms over it. Simply because it’s one month after Jeff Bezos’ big wedding that he had. And all we heard from the left for forever was how horrible it was that Jeff Bezos had this big wedding, right? How horrible it was that he had this big wedding and he was in Venice and people complained about what they thought the cost was and they complained about everything except his donations to like Venetian restoration, but whatever. This guy, Zoran Mandani, he’s the golden boy for the communist left. He’s the avatar of all of really what Democrats are now. And he’s an admitted socialist, although really he’s a communist. Socialism is just a stone, just a step on the path to communism. Come on. They’re all the same damn thing. They just pretend there’s nuances in order for you to think that they’re more cerebral than they are. So Mandani, he had a big wedding. It was described as, and I’m reading the news article, lavish. There’s a photo from it there that Juan is showing you on the simulcast. Flowers, those are dozens of probably David Austin roses and very beautiful and, you know, very, I mean, it is on their compound, very lavish. It was a compound owned by his family in Uganda. And, I mean, it’s a pretty, this is a pretty fancy wedding. They apparently had, uh, technology to jam cell phone signals you know what this looks like it looks like honestly uh what is that movie crazy rich crazy rich asians and then they had the wedding scene this looks like when they’re on their way or not the wedding scene sorry the party at the grandmother’s house this looks like on their way to the party at the grandmother’s house I don’t think they understand what elope is either. It was reported that he eloped with his fiancée, except if you elope, you just go somewhere and you elope. You don’t have a big elaborate wedding somewhere else. That’s a destination wedding. That’s not an elopement, but okay. They had their wedding in this super rich neighborhood in Uganda. It’s apparently the richest neighborhood in Uganda. It includes billionaires and tycoons and all of this stuff and all of the houses. I think the entry-level house, they said, was a million dollars to get in. That’s just bare minimum, bare bones, a million dollars. And they had armed security. Let me read how this is what it says. Quote, the home is set back from the road and sits on two acres of lush gardens surrounded by trees. It has a breathtaking panoramic view of Lake Victoria, and it features at least three security gates. So they had a fleet of Range Rovers driving everyone into the compound. You know, because he’s a big greenie, too. Security was tight. They had 20 Special Forces Command Unit guards. They had a phone jamming system. So they were able to jam, you know, you couldn’t use your phone at all whatsoever. They said the gates had at least nine guards stationed at the gates. Yeah. Huh. Interesting, right? Because he’s the guy who… thinks that he’s a big socialist and he thinks that rich people are bad. He doesn’t like rich people. He’s talked about this before. He’s literally said, quote, I don’t think we should have billionaires. That’s a direct quote that he said. And by the way, it was an NBC piece that was celebrating him for saying it. So they weren’t trying to slam him, etc., So he had, I mean, this, this party that he had for his wedding, huge, huge champagne socialist. Oh my gosh. They had drinks at everything. The guests that were invited celebrated past midnight to celebrate the couple. They met on hinge dating app. And, uh, The locals said that the wedding was in bad taste because the country was supposed to be in mourning for some Supreme Court judge. And so as a result, the nation’s president, the president of Uganda, was barred from visiting to pay his respects to the couple. So he couldn’t go. So he. I mean, they a phone jamming system, a phone jamming system. Does he think he’s that important game?
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I’m curious that frightened and needing of anonymity that that’s, they didn’t want any photos to be leaked.
SPEAKER 04 :
Can I just point it out, point out to that, you know, I, they had nine guards at one gate, right? So they had like all these special forces commandos. They had local law enforcement. Oh, I mean, police, they’re a phone jamming system, et cetera, et cetera. They had all these things there. Um, this is a guy who said just to defund the police. Like repeatedly, even after Democrats stopped saying it, he has said, quote, of the police because he went on this rant on social media about police. And he said there’s no negotiating with this institution. It’s corrupt. Defund it. Dismantle it. End of cycle. End the cycle of violence. He has retweeted people who called for defunding the police or dismantling the police state. Oh, and then he tried to 180 it later on, of course, because he wanted to run for office. So then he came back and said, well, I mean, I won’t totally defund the police. And then he tried to dance back. I mean, it’s really, really hard to say that you want to dismantle literally the word he used, the police system, when you have, you know, armed special forces commandos at your bougie wedding, your bougie wedding. He acts like he’s like a Kennedy or something. It’s always that’s how the left always is. These are things that communists always want for themselves, but they don’t want for anybody else. They don’t want anyone else to secure the same opportunities or achieve the same level of success. I think part of it is they believe that there’s this scarcity of resource or scarcity of opportunity, which kind of goes to show you that they don’t really quite understand how that works or what it means. We didn’t get the invite, Cain. We didn’t get the invite to the wedding. I’m so bummed. Listen to how bummed I am. I don’t think anyone in the chat room got the invite either. Nobody got mad. Yeah. So, I’m not surprised that they had this big… He got married in Uganda, though. Why not New York? He loves New York so much. Why didn’t he get married in New York? You know? I mean, you’re running to be mayor of New York. Why didn’t you… I don’t know what he does. He’s 33, and his… well, I guess it’s his wife now, is 27. They just say that she’s like an illustrator. I don’t even know. They sound like this couple that go for house hunters, and it’s always this weird couple, and they’re in their early 30s, or they’re like babies. They’re like 19, 20. No, but they always come out, and they’re like, well, I’ve got a doctorate in Sanskrit, and my wife is an underwater basket weaver, and our budget is $13 billion. Wow. And you’re like, how are you affording that? What do you do? You literally run drugs, don’t you? You totally run drugs. We know you do. Come on. But I don’t know what either of them do. He’s never had a job. And she’s just described as like an illustrator. Pretty sure she’s not the millionaire in this situation. So they’re trust fund nepo babies. They’re socialist trust fund brats. That’s what they are. That’s exactly what they are. And he wants to run Manhattan. I mean, good luck with that New Yorkers. Good luck with that. Now, a few other things. Yeah, he had like a presidential-style wedding. That’s how somebody described it. It makes sense. Caltech, the Generation 3 Sub 2K, folds fast, optics stay in place, and it deploys just as quickly, zeroed, and ready. And it’s now available in 10 millimeter. And it’s the third generation folding carbine, and it comes in all different kinds of calibers. 10 millimeter is the latest one, but it’s a single twist and fold motion of the rotating forend that folds it quickly in half, optics and all. 16 1⁄2 inches, so it’s all folded and packed up at 16 1⁄2 inches, which makes it easy for storage and transport. It takes Glock mags, has internal buffer for softer recoil, lighter 5-pound trigger pull as well, integrated M-LOK rails for accessories, good for any kind of whatever it may be, whether backpacking, camping, defense, whatever it is. And it’s made in Florida. Learn more about the Generation 3 Sub 2K. I’m just going to throw all the numbers out there. The Gen 3 Sub 2K 10mm chambering. You can see more at keltecweapons.com. K-E-L-T-E-C weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
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SPEAKER 01 :
Listen as students and young adults interview well-respected CEOs on our national radio show, realworldleaders.org, to learn secrets for success and how to use them to propel their careers.
SPEAKER 03 :
I think it was really inspiring how Mr. Levin just keeps on wanting to grow and learn more from the people around him, his peers and his advisor, his father even.
SPEAKER 08 :
Anya, how do you want to grow?
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, I’m also trying to grow my communications. I just became the communications chair of my school’s TA, student government.
SPEAKER 08 :
Hey, Brett, this thing about communication, how important is that? And how important is for Anya to continue to develop these communication skills?
SPEAKER 02 :
It’s so important. And I think today, as kids, you have your cell phones in your hands all the time and learn how to look people in the eye, publicly speak and talk to people.
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To hear more and to help us introduce your high school, GED, work-ready and college students to our CEOs, visit our website at realworldleaders.org. That’s realworldleaders.org.
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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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This headline, Americans spend nearly half their day online, whether it’s at work or play. It’s an eye-opening new poll because people need to go out and touch grass. It’s too many people. When I see people like everybody at the restaurant on their phones, I want to go up at a public place. I want to flip the table over and throw all their drinks on them. It enrages me when I see people like just sitting there. They’re in person and everybody’s on their stupid phones. Americans spend nearly half their day online. Now, you could say, but Dana, they might be reading things and You know, you can read stuff. It’s like, you know, reading books, but now you’re just using your phone. Yeah, whatever. Half of the people are either playing games or they’re arguing with stupid randos online. I can’t. People who spend their day arguing with randos online, God love you, but no, stop it. Go out and touch grass. But it’s a new survey that came out. The New York Post reported on it. I do believe it. That’s just adults. That’s not kids. Those are just adults that were surveyed. That’s not kids. Can you imagine how much higher it is with the younger generations? Think about that. Wow. Jay Leno criticizes modern late night comedy for alienating half the audience with partisan politics. And he’s right. I think a lot of these people get into partisan politics because they’re not clever enough to actually be funny. Being a comedian is hard. That’s hard work being a comedian. He sat down with an interview or for an interview. The guy who’s, by the way, the CEO of the Reagan Presidential Foundation, he was questioned about his approach to political humor. But he was saying that people today, modern late night comedy, they just they focus too much on partisan politics. And he’s like, that’s not you can’t spend a lot of time in that area. And he’s completely right. And that’s one of the reasons why they’ve ruined late night, unfortunately. Also, let’s see here. Democrats have gotten their lowest ratings from voters yesterday. In 35 years, according to a new survey we’re going to dive into from the Wall Street Journal, the lowest ratings ever from voters. This is in 35 years. They have their party has not ranked so low. And this is like with their base, too. This is crazy. They’re having a major, major identity crisis right now. Major identity crisis. Also, the American Airlines flight engulfed in a lot of smoke caused panic passengers to flee via a slide. I saw somebody come down on a slide and just sort of like roll down on the asphalt. That does not. I got to tell you, like whenever I’ve been listening to the emergency briefings and they talk about the slide and all that stuff, I always think that’s kind of fun. Looks kind of fun. I want to go down the slide. No, after I watched these people rolled on the slide and like skid across the asphalt, not interested in doing that anymore. But there it was apparently they were all obviously they were panicking and they had this inflatable slide come out. They said people were coughing, choking. It was American Airlines Flight 3023. It had a landing gear incident. It was taking off for Miami, per the FAA. It was departing Denver. So they were able to see it before it got in the air. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? That would have been horrible. But they were able to get everybody out, and now they’re trying to remedy the issue. They got the fire put out, and now they’re trying to remedy the issue. Also, dental floss could be the future of vaccines, says one story. I don’t know how, but okay. They said that vaccines typically struggle to work in the mouth because it’s a hostile environment. But they have a nanomedicine research team at North Carolina State University. Blah, blah, blah. Floss. There you go. Tire. Yeah, I don’t want any vaccines and floss. We don’t need anything like that. We don’t need anything like that. Why would we have that? And also, your dog’s breed might predict their food obsession and their weight problem. So apparently half of dogs in the United States are overweight. I didn’t know that. They got a big… chunk problem with the dogs particularly golden retrievers and labrador retrievers but they’re also the least the most likely breeds to beg steal and scheme their way for extra food you know those happy dogs everyone tells you’re so happy they’re food stealers they’re the worst of the breeds stick with us more in store like sands through the hourglass so are the days of the united states
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Should we be surprised that a company whose name is literally American Eagle is making fascist propaganda like this? Probably not. But it’s still really shocking. Like, a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, white woman is talking about her good genes. Like, that is Nazi propaganda.
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She sounds like a smiling friends character. Why does I mean, you know what? Let’s be honest. The only reason that this guys I’m not if you’re expecting sugarcoating, you need to change the channel now because it’s not going to happen. First off, American Eagle is a brand name that predates even when she was a glint in her dad’s eye before he got with her prostitute of a mother. That’s number one. Number two, they’re literally talking about denim. Number three, she’s just mad because Sidney Sweeney, who’s apparently in this ad and I haven’t even seen this ad. All I need is a fat, angry, progressive chick talking about it to let me know that I’m probably going to like the ad. Right. So she’s just mad because Sidney Sweeney is pretty and cute. And that’s the whole thing of it. And don’t sit here and be like, Dana, don’t body shame. Shut up. Yes, I am. because I care about the health of humanity. I’m sorry if you don’t share the same concern that I do. But I’m also not going to apologize for having our culture and our lives dictated by angry, overweight goth chicks, morbidly overweight goth chicks who have a bull harness in their nose to the point where they can’t even actually vocalize through their throat and it sounds like everything is just emanating from their headspace. So no, I’m not going to sit here and take advice from people who put the camera so damn close to their face it looks like a fisheye lens. Stop. And we’re done. Is that okay? Yeah. Why are people mad? Oh my gosh. Blonde, blue eyed. It says eagle. Because there’s not blonde, blue eyed people in the United States. Good gosh. I need to go back to church. We’re too far away from the sermon. It’s interesting. Guess what the sermon was this weekend. What was that? It’s about using your words for encouragement. It’s going to have some coffee.
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Are you starting today and practicing?
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No, I was going to think on it a little bit, you know, and then just jump in with both feet later. But still, though, I just how is that Nazi propaganda? I feel like stupid comments like that. need to be pushed back with equal or greater absurdity and brutality. That is of my opinion, because if you just dance around the fact or if you try to be polite about it, then it’s just it’s stupid. All right. We got the commercial. We don’t need to keep letting it run. They can pay for us. They can pay ad time for us. American Eagle pays for ad times. But, I mean, it’s a fine commercial. She’s literally talking about her denim. And probably she’s going, well, I’m cute. And that made this chick upset. And so she’s like, this is literally, it’s literally Nazi propaganda. All right, Lunchbox. I feel like I’m watching Heathers right now. Like, Heathers 3.0, because the new one that they did was horrible. I mean, the whole point of Heathers is that it was mean. But that’s big fun right there. Dana, you’re so mean. And this is new? So, I don’t know. There’s nothing wrong with this. There’s nothing wrong. American Eagle was a huge thing when I was in high school. Right? How long has that brand been around? Been around for some time. Yeah. And I mean, I haven’t gotten anything from them in a long time, but they, you know, they were like, weren’t they like the denim people? I just remember girls in my school, there were two places where they always would go and they would get their jeans. And one was American Eagle. And then the other one, do you remember this store? Some of you will remember it. It was called Mary Go Round. And it was like the cool store at the mall. merry-go-round and i was always too poor and too young to really be able to go in there and buy anything for myself but like my older cousins were in there and i always loved merry-go-round and when i i always told myself when i get older and i get a part-time job i’m gonna get a part-time job merry-go-round does it look cool look like a cool store or i wanted to work in a record store part-time so that’s that’s it’s the dream that was the dream of uh 13 year old dana what never spencer’s Yeah, I mean, you’re traumatized from Spencer’s. Half of Spencer’s was just inappropriateness. You would walk in. You guys remember the Spencer’s stores? Oh, my gosh. And I swear to you, like, the longer they existed, the more inappropriate they got. You just didn’t walk to the back of the store. You know what I mean? Like, you would kind of stay in the front where the eye, the passerby eye, could see, like, the end caps and that, and then just that. You just stayed up in there. You didn’t walk to the back. Because it got a little crazy there.
SPEAKER 06 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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For 85 years, Connex Credit Union has been your trusted partner on life’s financial journey. Community focused, always listening and lending a hand. Here for you every step of the way. Whether you’re saving for your first home, a degree, or a rainy day, we’ve been here for 85 years, helping our community save more, growing stronger together. Connex, banking for your possibilities. Visit connexcu.org. Equal housing opportunity. NMLS 458548. Federally insured by NCUA.
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