In this episode of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, dive into the notorious world of Florida Man with astonishing tales of societal absurdities. From inappropriate sprinkler antics to political debates that end in violence, Florida always has an unbelievable story to tell. Discover the eccentric and often unsettling actions of these infamous residents and what they signify in the broader context of societal norms.
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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 09 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 02 :
This is so bad. A Florida man was arrested after using sprinklers to spray disabled children. True story. Antonio Roman, 61. Can I just say I’ve never seen a mugshot that says DGAF more than this guy. Is he smirking? He’s smirking. 61 years old. I get what Kane says about hating old people. I mean, I don’t get it. It’s still mean. Not all of them are like that. He used a surveillance system to activate his sprinkler system to spray the disabled children next door because he was mad about their bus stop location. Look at his little eyelid for those watching the simulcast. I swear to you, he’s smirking. This is so ignorant. What a mean person. He consistently activated his sprinklers twice a day when the victims, they have to be literally loaded and unloaded from the school bus. They can’t go to like a bus stop blocks away. They have to have help to get on the bus. And so investigators actually surveilled his home and they confirmed that it was directly aimed at the school bus stop. So it was activated. Now, can you imagine… getting you know sprayed and you’re soaking wet when you’re getting on the bus going to school and the dad had to start wearing swimming attire to shield his children from the sprinklers and when deputies made contact with this guy with the phone he said he was upset about the location of the bus stop and he did not like that it utilized part of his driveway for the wheelchair ramp of one of the victims needed Oh, my gosh. Can I just have 60 seconds in a locked room with this guy? That’s all I need. All I need. I don’t even need that. Give me 30 seconds. 30 seconds. I’ll just take 30. That’s it. He faces charges of stalking battery on disabled persons and battery. Yeah, battery on a disabled person and just regular battery. Wow. What a jerk. Can you imagine? Like, I… What a horrible person. Now, if he felt like somebody was trespassing, why didn’t he talk to his neighbor about it? Why did he? I don’t know. And I bet he thinks he’s in the right this whole time, too. That’s just horrible. See, these are the kind of stories that made me so incredibly mad. Let’s see here. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. So two guys got into a fight over Trump and bankruptcy. And then one of them got stabbed. Okay, because one of them stabbed the other. A Florida man fatally stabbed his friend during a heated political argument about Donald Trump’s business ventures. And now he faces the possibility of dying behind bars because a jury convicted him of murder. Okay, I have a real problem with his middle name. Donald James Brown Henry. It’s one word. The James, I’m not making this up. The James Brown is one word. Donald James Brown Henry.
SPEAKER 08 :
It’s like Mark Wayne.
SPEAKER 02 :
So you have three first names and one last one. And the last one’s the middle name. That’s too many names for you. At some point you have enough. 38 years old, 38 years old. He was found guilty of second degree murder for killing Sean Pop. I swear these names are made up. And what authorities describe as a shocking example of how political divisions can turn deadly. So he’s going to have minimum 17, no parole. And apparently they were arguing and they were doing, they were smoking pot. But I thought that like totally, doesn’t that space you out? Or wait, aren’t they all, or is it tweakers? The people who are always suspicious. paranoid sorry to get paranoid okay well maybe it was the paranoid marijuana I don’t know I’m sure there’s different kinds I guess that make you more paranoid so he he said that they were both arguing over Trump going bankrupt that’s the statement and then apparently that enraged the mr. James Brown Henry Donald James Brown Henry and then the And Henry, he became the antagonist, became aggravated. And he was convinced that Pop was talking to him like he was stupid. He was sharpening, apparently, a kitchen knife while this was happening. So let’s just hold it for a second. They’re smoking pot. He’s sharpening a kitchen knife and they’re arguing over Trump’s business. And so he took the knife and plunged it right into Pop’s chest. The victim walked outside and then collapsed. So he’s absolutely he’s totally charged with murder because he did it. So 17 years minimum, no parole. Wild, wild, wild, wild. Let’s see. Oh, we got. Well, I’ll have to tell you about the jester who was actually arrested for felony assault tomorrow. Kel-Tec, a Florida based company. They have a pistol, the PR 57. It is a rotary barrel pistol chambered in 5.7, and it’s one of the lightest 5.7s on the market, 40% lighter than most others. It’s good for concealed carry as well, and they achieve the smaller stature by… The rotary barrel, the innovative rotary barrel, makes it light. And then, of course, the unique top-loading design, which replaces traditional magazines with stripper clips for a slimmer carry profile and a 20-plus-1 capacity. Super affordable MSRP, only $399. And the easiest field strip available, low recoil, good for ease of use and accuracy, built to perform. You can find it at keltecweapons.com. Made in Florida, USA. Innovation, performance, K-E-L-T-E-C, keltecweapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
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Democrats say gerrymandering’s horrible, so of course they plan to do a lot of it to save democracy. Another government-run grocery store is a very expensive failure, big surprise. And there’s a huge divide between Republicans and Democrats over whether America is worth celebrating. And of course it’s the left that says no. I’m Greg Karumbas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the 3 Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad, and crazy news of the day, and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the 3 Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 02 :
I wanted to talk about, I had a great song lined up. I wanted to talk about the whole Gavin Newsom. Because what is Gavin Newsom doing? Like he keeps picking fights with Texas over this stuff. He’s been, he’s picking fights with everybody. I don’t understand what he thinks this serves, what purpose he thinks this serves. And not, I don’t get it. He apparently has like a whole social media team. that runs, I mean, it’s the Governor Newsom press office. So it’s verified. You know what he said? He told one person who criticized him, quote, your husband keeps poop and porn in his pockets. What? That is his official account. His press office? Yes. Not even making this up. That is his actual official Governor Newsom verified. No. Yes. I mean, that’s his actual, if you don’t believe me, hold up. Here it is. I’m giving it to you right now.
SPEAKER 08 :
Leaning all the way in on trolling is basically what you’re saying.
SPEAKER 02 :
That’s not even… funny or clever it’s just like cringe like what what are you doing what do you think this is he has three people that run his comms team i had this where’s the story at gosh i hate these gestures on this i’m going to take this whole new computer iowa i’m going to just shoot it the mossberg uh he had there was this uh article that was quoting his uh oh here it is This is so funny. So his social media person is some, I don’t know, some chick. And they said, oh, she’s part of a team of three. This is Camille Zepeda. She’s the genius behind a social media post. She’s a part. She’s a part of a team of three. Well, she can’t wear clothing that fits her. She’s wearing like the slouchy stuff in her little photo. I don’t know. He has three people that run this account. Three people came. Three whole people. And then you have Izzy Garden. Oh, for the love. Seriously? That sounds like a bad HGTV show. I don’t know what the… Genius is doing a lot of heavy lifting here with us. I mean, not kidding. This is actually some of the… I can’t even… Some of them are so cringy. I don’t even want to read them on the show because it’s just… You just get secondhand cringe and it doesn’t help anybody. But they have this great comms team, guys. They’ve been calling people Voldemort. Hang on. I’m just looking at all of these different tweets of his that he has. Our Wi-Fi is… We’re having technical issues here, so bear with us. So we’ve got… So they’re making fun of, I mean, everybody. They went after Noam, different conservative accounts. They went after Casey DeSantis. They cussed out Stephen Miller. They called someone Voldemort, stupid. I mean, it’s bad. It’s… I don’t even understand what… This is just… It’s pointless. It’s embarrassing. It’s absolutely embarrassing. It really is. And I just… I don’t see any sign of it ever ending. This is their comms team. And this account was the one that did the caps lock version of the stuff Trump does, of Trump’s style of posting. So they were talking about Texas and gerrymandering. And They said, gosh, I don’t want to read this. Oh, gosh, this is killing me. I’m doing it for you guys. They went after, who are they going after? They were saying that final warning, Donald Trump may be the most important warning in history. Stop cheating or California will redraw their maps. This is all caps lock and all of it. And guess who will announce it this week? Gavin Newsom, many say the most loved and handsome governor and a very powerful team. Don’t make us do it. Many exclamation points. Thank you for your attention to this matter. See, only he can do this. You guys just look stupid doing it. It just looks thirsty. And then you have these leftists who are like, we think it’s so great. They’re like, they’ve fallen all over themselves to praise it. Three people. Three people. And they were talking about their comms team. They said, this is the one chick that I mentioned. She leads a team of three. They troll 47 by mimicking his words and poor grammar. They don’t back down. Imagine going to college and that’s your job. I troll for Gavin Newsom. I don’t even have my own byline. I just troll for his press office. That’s all I do. It’s embarrassing. You could have AI do this better, probably. You don’t even need these three people. You could just eliminate their jobs.
SPEAKER 08 :
I think these three people may be AI-created.
SPEAKER 02 :
They’ve tried giving people nicknames. They’ve… And it doesn’t even honestly doesn’t even sound like the stuff that Trump would say. It doesn’t even sound like the stuff he would say. This is what gets me the free press. David Mamet, who we’re going to have back on the show. I can’t say what the headline of this was, but I was reading these tweets from Newsom’s press office. And then I saw this piece over at the free press from David Mamet. The the subhead is brilliant. Profanity was once a useful weapon and now it’s a dull blade. Now I’m going to tell you guys, I don’t have any vices, really. I’m not – I’ve never done – I don’t do drugs. I’ve never done drugs. Every now and then I’ll socially drink before having dinner. I don’t smoke. I don’t – but I – you know, when you come from a family of sailors – You get creative with your language. And so that’s my only vice, I should say. But now, because I hear it so often on the left, I’m like, oh, no. I don’t want to do that anymore. I catch myself like, no, that’s a no, no Democrat word. I think what he says here is brilliant. And he basically talks about how the left is there. They’re ruining profanity. like everything else they’re ruining profanity like they’re ruining everything else and i think that that’s i mean i think it’s smart that’s it’s absolutely true and he said profanity of the streets was you know in those days it was way much it was so much more aggressive and uh It meant something basically is what he’s saying. Now they’re throwing it out as a veneer. They’re cosplaying tough and they think that hijacking profanity is the way to convey that toughness. without actually having anything else that defines toughness, if that makes sense. They’re ruining it. They’re making it cringe. They’re ruining everything. They ruined comedy. They’ve ruined everything. They’ve ruined music. They’ve ruined arts and entertainment. They’ve ruined government. What have they not ruined? They are a plague upon the earth, this ideology. And he’s right. I mean, it was a useful weapon. It was a sign that you went too far. Oh, wow. Wait, that was a line. Oh, there’s a boundary I crossed. Oh, that person’s upset or joyfully just out of their mind with exuberance, whatever. Now it’s, I mean, you have Beto O’Rourke waving around his noodle arms. I mean, if you, he’s like the same proportion and size as his wife. I just, I don’t know. It ruins it. It makes it cringe. And Kane, have you noticed? Have you sort of, now you kind of recoil in horror cringe whenever you hear a salty word now just because the left has ruined it so much?
SPEAKER 08 :
Yeah. Yeah, it is. We always say that. It’s a spice. Cursing is a spice.
SPEAKER 02 :
That’s a good way to put it.
SPEAKER 08 :
You overdo it, it’s no good.
SPEAKER 02 :
It’s the spice melange. You overdo it and it’s – exactly. I completely agree. But now it’s just – and this is what Newsom and his social media account are doing. They’re trying to act like they’re so tough. They’re trying to act like they’re so tough. Look, we’re cursing at Dana Perino or we’re cursing at somebody. Good heavens. It’s just – it’s so – oh my gosh. It’s just cringe. It’s cringe. It’s cringe. So, I don’t know. I don’t think that this is going to serve the purpose that he thinks it does. I don’t think that Newsom doing this is going to attract any, like, independents or leftists or progressives that are going to see him or hear him talk like this or see the stuff that he’s tweeting and go, oh, that’s so edgy. Because it just seems so contrived and forced. And that’s the other thing that Mamet, you know, gets to. He’s like, you know, it was a spontaneous thing. It wasn’t something that was focus grouped and planned out and and released at a certain time as like some sort of toughness buff it’s that’s not what it’s like that’s not what it’s for i don’t know it’s so um it’s frustrating They’re ruining something else now. Did you know the whole higher thread count means better sheets thing is just a myth? Kind of like thinking that cold weather gives you a cold or that we only use 10% of our brains. The real secret to great sheets isn’t thread count, but thread quality. That’s why you’ll love Bull and Branch. They use the highest quality organic cotton threads, so their sheets are not only soft and luxurious right out of the box, but they actually get softer with each process. wash. The first night you’ll try them, you’re going to feel the difference. It’s like climbing into a five-star hotel bed every night, and your sleep will never be better. I mean, I’m not going back to my old sheets. If you’re ready to upgrade your sleep, feel the difference an extraordinary night’s sleep can make with Bull & Branch. Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at bullandbranch.com slash danashow. The real secret to great sheets isn’t thread count, but thread quality. It’s bullandbranch.com slash danashow for 15% off and free shipping. If you’re ready to upgrade your sleep, feel the difference an extraordinary night’s sleep can make with Bull & Branch. It’s bullandbranch.com slash danashow for 15% off and free shipping. Exclusions apply.
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Listen as students and young adults interview well-respected CEOs on our national radio show, realworldleaders.org, to learn secrets for success and how to use them to propel their careers.
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I learned about media marketing because I’ve never heard of it before. So I learned something new. Todd also mentioned how he didn’t start this career until later on in life, which I feel is really interesting because a lot of people think you need to start a career right away, but that’s not always the case. All right, Emily, where does attention to detail show up the most in your life? I think social interactions. When I’m in a social environment, I pay attention to the way people like their tone or their movements or what’s going on, like the scenery. I also hear an intuitive nature and ability. Yeah.
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To hear more and to help us introduce your high school, GED, work-ready, and college students to our CEOs, visit our website at realworldleaders.org. That’s realworldleaders.org.
SPEAKER 08 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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Okay, so this study says that apparently one out of what three people are considered highly sensitive… meaning they feel things more deeply than others. I have a different word for it. A review of 33 studies, 13,000 people found that higher sensitivity is linked to more symptoms of anxiety and depression. They say it’s not a disorder, but it does shape how people experience mental health. I think there’s something to that. I think there’s some people that are way more… It’s empathic, empathetic, but empathic than others. Yeah. So I think that, you know, they may take it personally or they may feel feel slighted because they observe something that other people didn’t. But stop being pansies for real. Just stop. Like, you know, it’s not stop taking everything that everybody does seriously because it’s not worth it. It’s just not worth it. Just shrug it off and let them. You know, it’s just they got to go through life. I know that’s very Bob Newhart of me, but OK. Let’s see. A law to help sex abuse victims is creating an insurance crisis for public schools and local agencies. Well, rather, people are creating these problems, not the victims. Thank you. A new California law opened gates for victims of childhood sexual assault. They can sue public entities that said failed that failed to keep them safe. And now apparently there’s. Yeah, well, that’s what happens, right? F.A.F.O. You don’t do your job. You don’t protect your students. Then guess what? This sort of stuff happens without penalties. It will continue to happen. Sadly, you can’t appeal to someone’s morality to do their job and make sure that people are protected. But you can if there is a financial penalty. How sad is that? MSNBC is changing its name. Because they… We’re going to joke about this later. Because they think that you’re not going to know. PMS in BC. It’s going to be called MS Now. Ms Now. That’s what I… Are you going to… No, I’m not going to watch it. I don’t care. It just sounds goofy. But they’re separating and I don’t know. I… I just don’t think that’s going to assist them because I think that the reason that they even lasted this long is because they had that veneer of respectability with the NBC on it. Not that NBC is, you know what I mean, gave them a little bit of a legacy. A 40-year-old man got stuck in a slide at a school playground in Vernon, Illinois. That’s what you get. He got stuck in the slide. Northeast Elementary School. The fire department responded because a dude got trapped at 4.30 p.m. on Saturday. He was literally wedged in the middle of the slide, and they had to get him out. They gave the man oxygen, and it was really hot outside. They had to set up ventilation. It took them 30 minutes to free him. Took him… Oh, my gosh. I mean, you know, you should know. Look at you. Look at the slide. Look at you again and then make the determination as to whether or not you’re going to go down there. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you. We’re at the top of this third hour and you can watch us make radio magic. Channel 347 Direct TV is a simulcast. The chat is at Rumble. All kinds of good stuff. So I got to tell you, a little sidebar for moms and dads that are dealing with the back to school stuff. So for my friends, my husband, I got married very young. So our kids out of all of our friend group are the oldest of all the kids because everybody waited until like they were basically in their thirties before they started having kids. And we, I mean, we, we started right away. And, um, I always hear them talk about, oh my gosh, back to school, like going to high school. Which it is. There’s always a list of stuff that you have to get. There’s things that you have to get. And there’s specific items. And then everybody goes to the same stores. And so you’ve got to go earlier. It’s slim pickings. Nothing prepares you, though. Boy moms out there, I know you’re going to feel me. Nothing prepares you, though, for when you have sons that are going to college and It’s worse than the high school, junior high, going back to school stuff. Now, love the boys. They’re great. They’re responsible. And I always tell people, I don’t think college is for everybody. I think there’s certain disciplines. And my son, he got scholarships. So I’m like, it’d be stupid to not take them. But I also think his discipline is one that I would suggest college for if you’re going into a particular field. If you’re going into certain engineering, you’re going into medicine, law, I think that’s fine. And he’s going into one of the three. So to that point, boy moms, at some point your sons go from chatty Cathy’s to here is a one syllable answer to everything. And then you have to take out your runes and, uh, basically try to figure out from your runes what that means. You have to use magic to try to figure out what they mean from this one syllable word. It is the most frustrating thing ever. And when you have a bunch of boys that are like rooming together, it’s even crazier. So for instance, I’m like, okay, well, they don’t think, you always think that you prepare your kids for everything, right? And I feel like, you know, we’ve been doing a really good job with that stuff, right? And then you get weird questions like, can I put this in the microwave? Or can I use metal on a nonstick pot? Things like that. And then you go full stop. What did I not teach you? And so every year at this time, for those who have left the house, I go through this crazy list of I need to repeat this as often as possible. Send them a list of things that they need to understand. Basic, just in case I didn’t cover this. You know, like, oh my gosh, don’t put foil in the microwave. Oh my gosh. You know, all this crazy stuff. And my son’s getting stuff together and he’s going to college and he’s rooming. He’s got three other roommates. And they have like a kitchen, right? And they were talking about, you know, I guess what stuff that they can make and things like that. And I said to my son casually, I was like, well, you guys, do you have like plates and utensils? I mean, you can’t eat out all the time and you have a meal plan with school. So that’s going to be helpful. But what about inclement weather? You know, what, you know, what, what was something? I guess we need plates. Like you guess, you guess. I can’t even tell you for someone who I plan methodically everything, everything out. If we go anywhere, if we travel, if we do anything, if we Christmas, Thanksgiving, I mean, my meals are planned out. Everything I do. I will go to a restaurant if we host like a business thing and everything is planned out. I mean, I will literally preorder things. I’m so type A. And you’re days away from going somewhere, moving in, and you’re like, I guess I need some plates. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just eat with my feet. I don’t know. And I’m just thinking, how are you going to live? I can’t even hardly verbalize it. And it just gives, I don’t get anxiety, so I don’t know if that’s what this is. But I am unsettled, and I feel like, ah! I don’t want to be like, Dr. Dwight Anxiety, I feel unsettled. Because of this instance. Because they don’t know if they need plates. And they don’t have any silverware. What are you going to cook it in? You’re going to use your hands?
SPEAKER 08 :
What are you doing? See, I think that’s the difference between moms and dads. Because I think dads would be like, oh, you know what? This is a good opportunity for the kid to learn a little lesson. I’m not going to sit there and help him out with dishes, something basic like that. He’s going to have to figure it out for himself. And guess what? He’ll learn. And it’ll be fine. And everybody will be happy. And he’ll be a self-sufficient individual.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I told him, I’m like, so, you know, you could get like… Melamine, you know, dishwasher safe melamine. That way you don’t have to get like a nice plate that’s going to break. And then I get, well, I guess any plastic. No, no, no. It’s not the same. Some lead plates. Oh my gosh. Oh boy, moms, please. I know you feel me out there. And the girls, I don’t even under, oh, the Lord did not give me daughters for a reason. Oh my gosh. Because I, I’ve been watching all of my girlfriends, their daughters that are going to college. What is up with the rooms? So one of our friends’ daughters was telling me about this site. I swear they don’t advertise. It’s just the whole name screams cupcake, love shack fancy. I don’t even know, like three random words. We’re going to throw it together. It’s basically like if unicorns explode on sale. That’s what it is. Everything like roughly and glitter rhinestones. And these girls rooms look like someone. It looks like the cupcake room in Willy Wonka’s factory. I don’t know how else to describe it. Like they go in and they have like whole entire houses in their dorm rooms. I don’t get this. And they have like the frilly curtains and they have feathers on the lamps and multiple rugs. And things are hung on the walls. And you go in my son’s room and he has an anti-commie poster taped to the wall. And like a couple of hodgepodge things and that’s it. It is super Spartan. Very Spartan. And I think he honestly, I think that guys pride themselves on how Spartan they can be. Is that true? Is that true, Cain?
SPEAKER 08 :
There is a level of truth to that. I’ll admit it.
SPEAKER 02 :
Like they move in and it takes a second and then they get messages from their friends or girls like, can you help me? And they, you know, they have to go and hang up things with like feathers and boas and, you know, ruffles. And it’s just so crazy. But the rooms could not be more different. You go into some of these girls rooms and it’s like you walked into a boutique. It’s like not even a dorm. It’s like a Harry Potter tent, you know, where they throw a little tent down and it looks a little tiny and you walk in and it’s like a whole thing. That’s like the girls college dorm rooms. It is the wildest thing ever. And then you go into these like the boys rooms and they just look like hobos, like the poorer hobos. There was a sliding scale of hobos there on the other end of it. And I just like, how do you live? How do you live? I don’t understand it. So I don’t know. I’m just sitting here thinking they’re going to burn this place down. They’re going to cook. And my son can cook because he does his own laundry. I have not done my kids laundering forever because I am not that mom. I’m like, I’m not going to be doing this for you. But I missed apparently the whole you need plates and utensils and some other basic necessities when you’re moving out into your own thing for the first time. And you just I just figured they knew that and they don’t. Right. Like I you know what it’s like to get a text like, can you actually put plastic wear in the dishwasher? No, you can’t. Not even on the bottom rack. That’s not where it’s going to melt to death. You’re going to die. Don’t do it. You know, like we just. Oh, my gosh. And then to have all of this happen. And I’m I’m some juggling a few things you’re going to have. Please indulge me. Give me some grace because it is. It’s I don’t know, man. It’s weird. I don’t like this part of it. This is the part that they don’t prepare you for. It was easier when they were toddlers. And, you know, your worst worries were like fevers and stranger danger. I feel like this is way worse. It’s a way worse because it’s like now the danger is you. It’s just like you’re going to set your house on fire. Oh, my gosh. So I don’t know. I just get a little nervous. Little worried. Little worried. Boy moms out there. But man, the girl moms are… I’m so glad. I’d be like, do you really need another lamp with feathers? Do you really need this? Do you really need all these things? And it takes them hours to move into like a box size of a room. I know y’all out there feel me on that. Good heavens. It is wild. It’s wild. So I don’t know. And I consider myself a maximalist. And when I’m even going, hmm, that’s a lot. You know… That’s a big thing. It’s a big thing. So I don’t know. I’m a little… All you parents with kids going back to school, I feel you. It gets worse. It gets worse. I’m going to tell you that. It just gets worse.
SPEAKER 08 :
Wait, you didn’t throw your kids in the pool to teach them how to swim? You didn’t do anything like that? Like… Well… How protective are you? Because in this instance, I got to tell you, as a dad… I’m like, you’re on your own.
SPEAKER 02 :
You’re the dad. That’s how you learn. These are boys. This is not about hovering. I’m like, what are you going to eat off of, you hobo?
SPEAKER 08 :
No, I’m not suggesting you’re hovering.
SPEAKER 02 :
You don’t even have a plate. But what I’m saying is there’s some failures you have to… Juan, you have plates, right? What?
SPEAKER 08 :
He didn’t either. He’s admitting it.
SPEAKER 02 :
He’s being honest about it. Hold up. Steve, dear heaven, save us. Please tell me. Save us? Please tell me that when you moved out that you at least had like some plates and some eating utensils.
SPEAKER 06 :
You like when I moved into my freshman year dorm?
SPEAKER 02 :
Anything. He didn’t.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, no, I had half meal plan, but when I ate at home, I had like plates to wash and stuff. We didn’t have a dishwasher. We had to hand wash them, but yeah.
SPEAKER 02 :
Okay.
SPEAKER 1 :
Oh, thank God. Look at you.
SPEAKER 02 :
Look at you. There’s some hope. I mean, I just, it’s just like the little things. Like to not know the difference between a blind and a shutter. I’m like… what do you want people looking in your room at night you got something to cover them windows you know I just oh my gosh it is the craziest thing ever so I had to vent to you guys right now I know we always talk about me and potatoes but I’m over here like looking at my list I always make a list even though it’s not for me and then I’m looking at my list and I’m like so many things are done what is happening and it just is and I’m you know I’m not that mom that’s going to be all up in there like this is hard I’m not going to cook for you I’m not doing your laundry I’m not cleaning your place but
SPEAKER 08 :
I think failure is a great lesson. That’s all I’m saying.
SPEAKER 02 :
I also don’t want to be somebody going to Walmart at like 10 o’clock at night because we don’t have anything to eat off of. And then they’re going to buy something dumb that breaks or I don’t know. Or they’re going to think it’s melamine and it’s not and they’re going to set something on fire. They didn’t even know if they had a dishwasher. I’m like, That’s like the first thing that I, I’m sorry. I just alerted everybody’s dogs just then. But I’m like, how do you not know this? How are these things you don’t know? Oh my gosh. Oh, I guess. Like when we, when we travel, when we travel, I’m that person. I will literally Google tour the area and I don’t even need a map. I don’t even need GPS. I get there and I’m like, nah, we’re going here and here. And Chris is like, why are you an alien? You are psycho. But I know exactly where to go and I’ll be like, yeah, we’re going here, here, here. This is where we’re eating. This is breakfast, this is dinner. I’m like, reservation here, this. Everything is set. I go in and there is nothing left to chance. So it is just crazy to me for, I don’t know, some of this stuff. But I know it’s the life of a boy mom. It really is. So… man i don’t know but uh oh my gosh and thank the boy ma oh my gosh literally so david one of our listeners out of orlando he says i literally just used a pot and spoon my first year of college see that’s like an instrument look you gotta you gotta let them experience no i know that but i know that but i’m you know i’m just like i can’t You’re going to live your life even if it’s stupid.
SPEAKER 08 :
That’s the perils of being a great mom. The perils of being a good parent.
SPEAKER 02 :
And I had one, another listener, Jules, who said I had to go shopping for my eldest for his first apartment because he didn’t know he needed plates and cookware. I think they think they go into the, they’re going to go into the apartment and open the cabinets and, it’s the glasses. It’s like mom’s house. It’s plates like home. It’s not like that. You got to put that stuff in there. It doesn’t just apparate into the cabinet.
SPEAKER 08 :
If you’re eating pizza and instant ramen, there’s very little.
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, yeah, if you’re just going to eat bad carbs and sodium. Right.
SPEAKER 08 :
That’s what you do in college. There’s very little need for dishes.
SPEAKER 02 :
And that’s why everybody has the butt cancer, okay? That’s why they all got it. Because that’s all they eat in college.
SPEAKER 08 :
I did not pick that on my bingo card.
SPEAKER 02 :
Horrible. All right. It should be.
SPEAKER 06 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
