The conversation takes a turn when Angie and Jim discuss the art of saying no. Drawing from Oprah’s advice, Jim underlines the power of holding strong boundaries and choosing where to invest time and energy. The episode also features a heartwarming discussion with the Good News Gals on sticking to life’s positive influences, drawing parallels with Jesus’ teachings. Listeners are encouraged to reexamine their relationships and make conscious choices that lift them up.
SPEAKER 04 :
Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here’s Angie.
SPEAKER 05 :
Hey, friend. Angie Austin here with Jim Stovall, author, speaker, movie maker. The good news today is we’re talking about his winner’s wisdom column, Retire or Refire. What’s this all about, Jim Stovall?
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I was just reading a thing the other day. There are 10,000 people a day in America turning 65, which we traditionally think of as the age people retire. But now there are so many other options. There’s this… It’s called the FIRE movement, Financial Independence Retire Early. And these are young people that get totally committed to living a subsistence living, throwing everything into the retirement so they can retire in their 50s or 40s or some of them even in their 30s. And they want to retire. Then on the other extreme, there are people who are going to work the rest of their lives. When Social Security first came out, It was designed to be a supplement to people in retirement. And the average American, when they reached age 65, lived a matter of a few months before they died. Now they live several decades before they die. Right. Three of my great mentors, Coach John Wooden, Art Linkletter, and Paul Harvey, all did some of their greatest work in their 90s in retirement. George Burns may have said it best. We lost him just a few months before he turned 100. And he said, if you love what you do, you never work a day in your life.
SPEAKER 05 :
I was thinking about Warren Buffett. I was thinking about him because he’s 92, I think. And he he he loves work like he doesn’t feel like it’s work at all. Like he’s excited about it.
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, my friend and colleague, Steve Forbes. I said, you know, I asked him, I said, look, why do you keep doing this every day? I mean, he doesn’t just casually come into the office. I mean, he’s got the three-piece. I think Steve Forbes gets out of the shower in the morning in a three-piece suit. That’s the way he is. And every day at the office at, you know, 730 every morning and does his thing. And he said, well, Jim, you’ve got to do something. And then he said, doing nothing is the hardest work you’ll ever do. And, you know, and it’s great. I mean, taking a vacation or a day off or some time away to do nothing, that’s a great escape and a way to recharge yourself. and to reevaluate what you’re doing. But you can’t do that as a way of life. You just can’t do that. So, you know, I think it’s imperative that we, you know, kind of reexamine this whole concept of retirement. And I think the best may be to take the fire people, financial independents, retire early and, you know, be financially able to retire, but then find something you love doing it and do it the rest of your life.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, well, I mean, I don’t know your age, but I think that you’re that type of person. I can’t really I mean, you seem to really enjoy what you do.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, and I am 64 years old. I’ll be 65 this summer. And, you know, it’s why I was reading up on this stuff. And, you know, I read an amazing book called Independence Day last year. And it was about, you know, people reaching retirement age. And, you know, it’s for people who want to retire early and for those who never will. And it’s everything in between. And, you know, and I haven’t worked for money for, I guess, well over 20 years. I don’t. I don’t work for money. My money earns more money than I do. So virtually all that I earn, I give away. And that’s kind of the commitment we’ve made, and I enjoy that. And I spend a lot of my time doing nonprofit work or giving speeches for people or whatever. And that’s my choice. And I know other people, they have hobbies or avocations. My father will be 92 this year, and he still teaches his Sunday school class and has his activities and does his things and walks his couple miles every day and does his thing. And he has stayed very, very active and very busy, and he enjoys that routine.
SPEAKER 05 :
So, you know, do will you ever retire? I mean, like, OK, if physically you can continue and mentally you can continue, do you think and I know your wife likes to travel and I think you enjoy traveling, maybe not as much as, you know, Crystal does. Well, would you keep working if if you physically and mentally can’t?
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, I mean, if you call what I do work, I can never see a time in my life when I don’t write a book or two a year or make a movie or whatever. You are so busy.
SPEAKER 05 :
Your whole day is like is scheduled out like you are so busy.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, but I like what I do. I mean I’m the one that puts that stuff on the list. Every once in a while, something will get on my list I do want to do, and we’ll be in the morning meeting, and I’ll say, now who scheduled this garbage? And they’ll say, Jim, I don’t think you’ll like the answer to that because I’m the one that did it. But by and large, part of it is learning how to say no.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, that’s what Oprah used to say. You know, know that you’re not doing things you don’t want to do. Like I turned on a speaking engagement recently because I, you know, I’m really focused on my kids and my family right now. And the money was good. And I know the cause was good. But I don’t feel like I’m in a place where I can throw extra wrenches into my life and have it feel comfortable right now. Just because, you know, we’re traveling four times in the next few months for my daughter’s volleyball tournaments. And I think that’s fun. And I get to go with my husband for most of them. And like we get to hang out together. And we’re like we’re like high school kids. We hang out together because we like like the same silly things and make comments about stuff and make each other laugh. And it’s just ridiculous. And so and then go for lunch and whatever. Like, I don’t want to have to interrupt that stuff that I’m doing right now for something that may be to others more important than what I’m doing. But I was so busy when I was younger and so stressed. I used to say that I sweat blood when I ran the assignment desk at NBC News in Los Angeles because I had so many. union cameraman to assign and like I launched the chopper for the OJ Simpson pursuit which just gives you an idea of like how I’m trying to ascertain whether stories are real which one’s more important than the other which cameraman should I send which reporter gets along with which cameraman which cameraman won’t work with a certain reporter who needs specific directions or who won’t work with a different cameraman or who doesn’t like to do live shots and like you’re so stressed out I used to joke I’d go to the bathroom just to breathe for like five minutes sometimes and that I sweat blood or that I just felt like it was so stressful. So now to be able to have this time in my life where it’s my show, it’s my guests, it’s what I choose. And I get to raise my kids and go to all their events and pick them up at school and whatever. Like, I don’t really want to plan things like a speaking engagement. It’s terrible that, I mean, I felt guilty saying no.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, and, you know, Oprah, you mentioned her. She taught me a lot about that. I was backstage at an event, and I had just made the horrible mistake of someone had asked me to come do some event I did not want to do. And I said, no, I’m not available on the 24th because I’m doing something through the 25th. Well, what they heard is if they move their date, I’m available. That’s what they hear. Right. So the next thing I know, I’m committed to be out on the West Coast on the 26th. And I was explaining this, and Oprah overheard me, and she said, Jim, repeat after me. No, I’m sorry. That won’t work for me. And don’t say anything else. No, I’m sorry. That won’t work for me. And she said, but you – when you say, no, I can’t do that because, first of all, why give people an excuse? They’re not entitled. I mean it’s either yes or no, and no is no, and it doesn’t work for me. Thank you.
SPEAKER 05 :
You know, I heard her say that in another setting, and I’ve heard – I think you told me that once before, and it really did soak in. It really did like be able to say no. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty, but – I definitely do because my priorities are so different now than when I was in the – I mean, I guess I’d almost say I’m semi-retired, but I’m not retired because I’m so busy. But I’m doing a different kind of work that doesn’t pay as much, and that’s my kids and my show.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah, so I think retire – no one should work at a job they don’t enjoy. If you find yourself in a job you don’t enjoy – Keep it until you can find something else, but start looking today. What would I do if I could do anything I wanted to do? Then find that and keep doing it. Just keep doing what you love. I mean, the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time. It’s spending days doing what you want to do.
SPEAKER 05 :
What if people don’t know? A lot of people are stuck in a job. I just ran into a friend recently and she’s so miserable and has been at a job where I had worked in different capacity for, I guess I was there 11 or 12 years and she’s been there like 25 now and she really doesn’t enjoy it. And it’s working overnights. And I’m like, oh, and you’re exhausted? And so I’m like, why? But these people, they get stuck in a rut where it’s just like they have to make the money and they have to continue or whatever. So what do you say to those people? Yeah.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I think you start with, is there anything about your job you like? Or if you’ve ever had something you did like, what parts of that do you like? Can we find something? Can we move at least closer to it than we are? Can we start to build on the things you do like and start to eliminate some of the things you don’t like? I mean, I love running business. I love being an entrepreneur. I hate accounting. I hate that, you know, all this stuff. I just don’t like it. So we’ve arranged it to, I am a minimalist accountant. Once a month, I have a 15-minute meeting with the accountant, and he comes in, and I don’t care about all your forms, your paperwork, your whatever. They’ll take care of that out front. There’s three or four things I want to know the answer to. You know, how much money we have, how much did we have last month, how much did we have at this point last year, any big receivables, any big payables, thank you, see you next month. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t like that process. So to the greatest extent I can, I eliminate those sorts of things. And, you know, so I do think there are ways people can move closer to that. I mean, you’re never going to find anything you like all the time. I mean, you know, whether it’s a person, a job, or anything else, nothing’s absolutely perfect. But, boy, you can, you know, you need to. There’s a great book. It’s called No More Mondays, and it’s about, Finding the work you enjoy. Or there’s a Dan Miller wrote a great book called 48 Days to the Work You Love. And it’s just exercises on how to figure out what you do love and how to find it. And so, you know, there’s a lot of ways to move in that direction.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, I think that a lot of prayer and time and thinking and maybe even – I’ve always thought like if you really weren’t sure to maybe volunteer in that area. I had a friend who was in news, and he liked working with animals, so he became like a tech, but he made like a minimum wage after he left. But he did love it, but it’s – not glamorous i mean it’s you’re dealing with um you know animals who are injured dirty hurt biting but need to be put to sleep etc and it’s um it’s not snuggling puppies so maybe volunteering at the humane society or becoming a dog walker or but like trying some of these things yeah by putting your toe in the water maybe first and a lot of times i think that comes to volunteering and i have seen a lot of really happy retirees like i remember going up to um the Getty Museum in Los Angeles. And it’s just on the top of the hill. It’s overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It’s near Pacific Palisades, Westwood, kind of. And you’re up there on that hill looking down. And a lot of retirees volunteering. And I thought, wow, to be like, I guess it’s a docent. And they’re tour guides, leading tours, talking about the art of a set and the other. And I guess when it comes to a point when you don’t have to make money, boy, you could try anything.
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, sure. And you’ve got to realize, Angie, if you work an eight-hour day, you may not like all eight of those hours, but you love looking back on a day of work. I mean, you love that whole process. I mean, Angie, you love your children, but I could catch you at certain times of your day or evening in the middle of an interaction with one of your kids on one thing or another, and that moment is not terribly enjoyable. But it’s the overall thing that makes the difference. And some people, my brother’s that way, he loves mowing the lawn. He runs a huge company, but he loves mowing the lawn. Because he said at the end of it on a Saturday, I can sit in there and look at what I did. And, you know, I did this. And he likes that feeling. I love having the lawn man take care of it. But that’s just the difference between me and I. I mean, I… I get satisfaction out of not doing that and giving someone else the opportunity to do that. But, you know, it’s really a matter of getting, you know, active and really deciding what it is you want to do. Get proactive and get out in front of it and realize that just because you’ve been working there. We were at our family reunion last year, and one of my cousins was saying something like, you know, I only have 10 years, 11 months, and 4 days left. And I said, what is that? Well, until I retire, 10 months, 11 days, 10 years, 11 months, and 4 days. My brother overheard that and said, what is that for? He said, well, until I get out of work. And he said, you know, you can kill a guy and get out of prison quicker than that. I mean, that’s a horrible sentence to play. If you don’t love what you do, go do something else.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, find something else. And it’s no one’s fault that you don’t do it, but your own. So, you know, be responsible. JimStoval.com. God bless you, friend. Thank you. You’re welcome.
SPEAKER 03 :
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SPEAKER 06 :
Evergreen is tuned to the mighty 670 KLT Denver.
SPEAKER 05 :
Hey, friend. Angie Austin here with the Good News, along with Good News gals Beatrice Bruno and Michelle Rahn. Welcome, Beatrice. Praise the Lord and God bless you. Good to be here today. And welcome to you, Michelle Ron.
SPEAKER 06 :
Oh, thank you. It’s an honor to be with you. I love it. Thanks.
SPEAKER 05 :
All right. Every week, you know, you’re a retired teacher. So every week you come up with your, you know, your, your, it’s like your learning plan, you know, and you like my lesson plan. Yes, your lesson plan. Yes. And you, you come up with a word and you, I know you have notes. And so what did you think of this week to share with us?
SPEAKER 06 :
Okay, so as I prayed this week about, all right, what message do you have, Father? So I’m walking from room to room, and in my house, I have sticky notes everywhere. My word is sticky. Sticky. And my sticky notes are on my refrigerator, they’re on my bathroom mirror, and they’re just kind of all over that I have reminders, which… It’s funny because sometimes I don’t remember to look at the notes, but I know the reminder is there on my sticky notes.
SPEAKER 02 :
That’s funny.
SPEAKER 06 :
And I even saw on Facebook once a girl who made her prom dress out of sticky notes.
SPEAKER 04 :
Oh, I saw that, too.
SPEAKER 06 :
Did you? Yeah, right. I mean, I thought, oh, my gosh, I hope she doesn’t move. But otherwise, and then, you know, just things that are simple. sticky and I used to do crafts a lot and that Gorilla Glue is extremely sticky and I got some on my finger and I’m sure that it’s still there someplace or another. The point is that the glue and the stickiness becomes a part of us. And I even saw, it’s amazing what you can Google, but I Googled sticky and do you know There is a website that is called Sticky, and its whole point is such engaging content that once you land there on their website, you just can’t leave. And so I thought a Sticky website can be defined as a website that entices visitors to hang around longer than usual and generally return in the future. So I got to thinking, well, Jesus is that way. Jesus should be that way, and it should be that way. He is so connected to me. He’s so sticking on me that I should not even have a problem to remember to turn to him and to talk to him and offer up a prayer of thanks or something that I just feel that God is asking me to do. And so if Jesus is a fisher for people, then we will be a fisher for people, too. And that promise is true. That whatever Jesus is doing in our personal world, we will find ourselves smack dab in the middle of it. And just as a reminder, I think that we should think of being something sticky and that Jesus is just Velcroed and sticking right to us. Amen.
SPEAKER 05 :
I love that. What do you think of that, Beatrice?
SPEAKER 01 :
That’s good. That’s good. Thank you. The Bible says in some translations that Jesus is the one that sticks closer than a brother to us, you know, and friends should stick closer than a brother. And so we should try to. gear ourselves towards sticking to those good things that God has prepared for us in these seasons of our lives. Because how often do we allow sticky negative situations to attach themselves to us so that we can’t even move forward? And it gets to the point where those same sticky negative situations will draw us down downward into a pit of not of our own choosing, but of something that the enemy of our souls has determined to destroy us with. So if we stick with the good stuff, you know, stick with the good people, you know, stick with our good family members. And I mean, you know, we can’t get rid of family members, but we can definitely choose who we stick to and who we do not stick to. Okay.
SPEAKER 05 :
and see see how much better our lives will be if we stick with those things that are actually bringing us up and not pulling us down yeah and i think i think people i think that’s a very uh you know good point about you know people um do we want to be sticky noted or duct tape to you know someone for the rest of our lives that is a really bad influence on us and you know if If we’re hanging out with someone who is dishonest, listens to music that we don’t listen to, uses language that we don’t use and so on and so on and so on and so on. I’m not saying we have to ditch all those people in our lives, but just reassess some of these relationships that are doing nothing to bring you closer to the Lord, but everything to bring you further away from.
SPEAKER 06 :
Right.
SPEAKER 01 :
Exactly. Yeah, I agree with that because, you know, when we stand before God, God is going to ask us some questions in my way of thinking. He’s going to ask us some questions such as, why didn’t you complete what I told you to complete? Well, Lord, I got distracted by such and such and thus and so. He’s not going to be looking for that. He wants to see that we are sticking to his plan for our lives. And as we do, then when we stand before him, he’ll be able to say, well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Lord. That’s because we stuck with his plan for our lives. And see, at this point in my life, I’m at that point where I’m sticking to God like glue because I want to see all these books that he’s given me to write. I want to see them come to pass and I want to see them touch and affect the lives of the people that he is going to have them read my books.
SPEAKER 05 :
Right. Good job. You know, both of you make such a concerted effort to, you know, get out there into the world and, you know, whether it be speaking or going to, you know, Christian women’s events or, you know, having Christian friends, the groups that you get together with. The majority of my, you know, Christian interaction right now is through my show. and being with the kids and doing so much with them, and they’re in a public school, so we’re not in a Christian school. Some of the kids on their teams, their families, attend Regis or Lutheran or some of the other Christian schools around the area. But in general, I’m not hanging around with big groups of parents who are church attenders, et cetera. So this is where I get the majority of my interaction. But I feel like both of you, your lives kind of revolve around your Christian circles. I mean, Beatrice, I’ve met some of your friends, and a lot of them are pastors or Christian influencers, if you want to say it that way. But people who are known in our community in Christian circles, is that important to you? That is a big part of your life, am I right? Yeah.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yes, that is very correct. And, you know, I enjoy hanging out with all types of people because I learned something from all types of people. But I tend to hang out more with Christian folks because. We have more stuff in common. We have the Lord in common. And when I’m not hanging out with them, then I can be a witness to those who are not Christians. You know, I’m in this business organization and they have people that come in and do speeches and what have you. And nine times out of ten, the majority of them curse. And so I was on in a forum in which I voiced my opinion about all that cursing. And then some of the people that were cursing were actually Christians. And I mean, they were using strong profanity. And I said, and I told the leaders of this thing, I said, I don’t particularly care for that because that’s not what I came to hear. And they look at me and it’s as though they’re saying, wow, you really believe that stuff. You’re doggone right I do because my mouth, out of my mouth speaks abundance. The words out of my mouth can either bring up or bring down. And the profanity that was being used by those of that ilk, you know, it caused me to not want to hear what they had to say. So, yes, I keep Christian folk around me because that’s who I am and that’s who God wants me to be. And when I get out there in the midst of those who are not Christians, you can tell the difference. You really can. Because I’m one of those Christians that don’t curse. I don’t use profanity. I don’t have to use words like that flowery words to get my point across. I don’t have to do all that because I can say some pretty strong words without them being profane that get my point across really well.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, I think.
SPEAKER 06 :
And I do want to.
SPEAKER 05 :
Go ahead, Michelle.
SPEAKER 06 :
I do want to reiterate that, you know, the circle of friends that we keep, it does not mean that we all share the same views of religion or politics or what, but that we are… we are focused on what the kingdom of the Lord and the kingdom of God is asking us to do. And we can discuss that. We have that, that wonderful friendship where we can have different views and still be different and still be wonderful friends. And, you know, for kids today, too, They need to be picky about their friends. And God tells us. God tells us that if someone is toxic and you have done your best and you’ve tried your best, but it still is the same and it’s pulling you down, then you need to run from that individual. And that’s okay. That is absolutely okay. We stick with our Father and Lord and Jesus.
SPEAKER 05 :
You know, I was interviewing some kids, one kid that was going to a public school and felt like he was kind of being pulled away from his beliefs and what he thought was right. And then he started going to one of the Christian high schools and I was interviewing like a group of them. And he said he felt there was more peer pressure to do the right thing. He said, I’m not telling you that there’s not drinking at any of the parties or that some kids aren’t smoking or whatever. He said, but in general, I’m getting more peer pressure to do the right thing that I’m getting peer pressure to do the wrong thing. And it’s really changed my high school experience, you know, to go. It made a big difference for him to go to this Christian high school. Now, I do feel like my kids have been able to avoid a lot of the issues, you know, in high school. Although we do track my son on this app where we can see if he’s doing donuts in the high school parking lot when he goes over there like that. Oh, what did you have to do over there at 730 last night? There was no practice. And when we looked at the diagram of where you’d gone, there were a lot of circles. You just came to be circling and circling a lot. And when we showed him the little diagram or whatever, the little image of, you know, all these circles, he just looked and he goes, yeah, I’m sorry. So far, that’s the worst we’ve caught him doing. But, you know, I was really worried about sending them to a secular high school. My husband didn’t think that four years at 20 grand each, so 80 grand each kid to get them through a Christian high school. He didn’t think that was a good investment. I personally do. But, you know, we disagreed on that. And that was a battle I didn’t think that I was going to win. So, yeah. You know, I let that one go. And so far, it’s been pretty good. They’ve had a pretty good high school experience and really made nice friends. And they go to the Young Life group, which is a Christian group that meets on Mondays. That is their, you know, the group of high school, you know, friends and acquaintances. So, you know, I’m shocked that it’s going all right. Yeah.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, God’s in charge, and I will tell you that Satan is everywhere. And no matter if you’re in a Christian school or a public school, you’re still going to be challenged with challenges from the evil one. And we just need to be aware of that and be sticky and be stuck to our Father and pray, Heavenly Father, show me what to do in this case, or put the words in my mouth, or don’t put the words in my mouth, but… to be aware of toxic people and to leave those people if necessary.
SPEAKER 01 :
Amen. I totally agree.
SPEAKER 05 :
Go ahead, Beatrice.
SPEAKER 01 :
Now, I’m just looking at the way the world is going right now. Last week, I think it was a 12-year-old girl committed suicide from bullying. And I’m looking at the situations that we’re in, and we have to help our children to stick to the best things. You know, stick to those things that are right, those things that make you going to to grow and prosper. You know, when I look at Angie’s kids, when I look at Riley, Mr. Businessman, you know, and I see how she and Mark have raised him up to be an entrepreneur at such a young age. You know, and he’s sticking to the principles that his mom and dad have shown him so that he can get to the places that God is going to call him to be in, you know, in the rest of his days.
SPEAKER 05 :
Well, I appreciate both of you. If you want to get in touch with Beatrice and Michelle, they’re both speakers. And Beatrice is an author as well. How do we reach you, Michelle?
SPEAKER 06 :
Michelle A. Ron dot com. And I’d love it. I welcome that. Thank you.
SPEAKER 01 :
And Beatrice Beatrice at Drill Sergeant of Life dot com. Excellent. Thank you, ladies. We’ll be right back.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening to the good news with Angie Austin on AM 670 KLTT.
