Dive into the unpredictable world of Florida Man with tales that defy logic and reason. In this episode, we unravel the story of a man who fell into a stranger’s pool, claiming bizarre things and somehow managing to escape unscathed. We also delve into a gripping tale involving a 7-Eleven standoff with a box cutter-wielding troublemaker.
SPEAKER 02 :
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SPEAKER 07 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast.
SPEAKER 10 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 01 :
All right. So where to start? Let me start with this dude because he fell into a stranger’s pool. A Port Charlotte man was arrested after he fell into a stranger’s pool. It’s just Port Charlotte, Florida. He was arrested. I’m trying to, I’m not even saying his last name. What the heck is that? One Y, okay. You got two Ys and a ton of consonants. That’s too much. Shorten it up. Save some Ys for the rest of us. Christopher Zerberzerkerkerkerk. He claimed to be a CIA agent after drinking vodka Thursday afternoon and forgetting where he lived. And it led him. Oh, I love the name of the street that it’s on. It led him to a stranger’s home on Monet Avenue. You know, like the painting. He is like a Monet, like far away. It looks nice and up close. It’s a mess. And a couple living on Monet Avenue said there was a stranger that was knocking on their door asking to stay a few days. And they told him to go bother someone else. By the way, that’s so Floridian. Go bother somebody else. Like, that’s it. So he ended up making his way inside of their lanai, which I only know how to pronounce because I grew up watching Golden Girls with my mother. The resident, this name came. This is a whole show. This name, Rusty Simplex. There it is. That’s the resident. Rusty Simplex.
SPEAKER 10 :
Sounds like a wrestling move.
SPEAKER 01 :
That sounds like a character from Eastbound and Down. That’s what it sounds like. He says, he remarked, quote, this is a real quote, I would shove my boot so far up his expletive, he would be tasting leather. The couple called 911. Then they heard a splash as he fell through their pool cover into the water. And then he climbed out of the pool, knocked on the back door, and asked for french fries and a towel. Rusty Simplex question. Was he naked? No, no. Thank you, God. I don’t want to be seeing. Oh, my gosh. I can’t say what he said. Oh, almost said it. Can I say that quote? Can I say the word? Can I say that? It’s what he said.
SPEAKER 10 :
I want to say yes, because it’s news.
SPEAKER 01 :
Okay, so woodpeckers. Imagine that. He goes, no, thank you, God. I don’t want to be seeing them. Woodpeckers. They’re in your backyard. Deputies found Zabrick, Zabrick, Zabrick sitting on a chair by the pool. And then when they came over to him, he was bragging about how he could hold his breath underwater for three minutes. They arrested Zabrka Brka for trespassing, disorderly intoxication, and resisting a deputy without violence. This is like, that is a whole show. Then those people, what they just went through. Oh, my gosh. Okay, let’s do, I need another one. Oh, you need another. Okay, let’s do 7-Eleven with the box cutter. I mean, you can kick that out of somebody’s hand. You can. You know, I’m not afraid of no box cutter. I’m going to kick it out of your hand. I’m going to break your jaw. So this guy walks up into a 7-Eleven and Circle K in Collier County and was threatening people with a box cutter. He’s 38? Right. Dude, evil and dumb make you look old. 38-year-old Stephen Sacco entered the store. He said he was hungry. And the clerk pointed towards the food items and said, you can buy food. And then Sacco goes, how about I steal it? I’m not kidding. That’s what the sheriff’s affidavit said. So then Sacco raised a box cutter in the air and said, I’m a C.U.B. And then the clerk said he feared for his life. Surveillance footage showed Sacco holding the box cutter near the counter area and he left without stealing anything. Then he went to Circle K, tried the same thing. According to police, he had six four locos. in his possession. Wow. That seems bad. He was totally taken into custody. So I’ve been paying attention to what’s happening with gold and silver lately. And honestly, it’s pretty shocking. Gold and silver have risen to record highs in relation to the dollar. And after talking with Colin over at Noble Gold Investments, I really get it. This isn’t about trying to time the market. It’s not about chasing some get rich quick opportunity. It’s about protecting what you’ve already worked so hard to build. And when the economy feels uncertain and when currencies start weakening, when people get nervous about their retirement accounts, historically, they look for stability. And physical gold and silver have always been a part of that conversation. Now, I appreciate, I think, maybe the most that Colin and his team, they don’t pressure people, right? They don’t use hype. They didn’t use that with me. They just simply walk me through my options. They answer questions and they treat you with respect. And that matters. Noble Gold has helped people protect their savings with physical gold and silver. They’ve been doing it for nearly a decade with transparency and real customer service. If you want to learn more, download their free wealth protection kit at noblegoldinvestments.com slash Dana. That’s noblegoldinvestments.com slash Dana. Get informed and then decide what’s right for you and your family.
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SPEAKER 03 :
I’ve got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how’s it going today?
SPEAKER 11 :
It’s going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I’m Dan Morgan. I’m an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America’s largest injury law firm.
SPEAKER 03 :
That’s pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion won. $20 billion is an insane number.
SPEAKER 11 :
Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It’s actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
SPEAKER 03 :
Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan & Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?
SPEAKER 11 :
Probably the easiest way is dialing Pound Law. That’s Pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow.
SPEAKER 03 :
Dan Morgan from Morgan & Morgan, America’s largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.
SPEAKER 11 :
Thanks for having me. Visit ForThePeople.com for an office near you.
SPEAKER 08 :
Amidst this, DSNY has been hard at work to expand their supervision capacity for the Snow Shoveler program. And as of today, they can now deploy 1,800 New Yorkers per shift. Due to the historic nature of this blizzard, we’ve increased pay to $30 per hour. You can walk into any DSNY garage until 8 p.m. this evening and then starting again at 9 a.m. tomorrow. All you need to bring is two forms of ID to ensure you get paid.
SPEAKER 01 :
Oh, two! I feel like the count from Sesame Street. Two! Ah, ah, ah, ah. Forms of ID. How many forms of ID do you have to have to vote?
SPEAKER 08 :
None.
SPEAKER 01 :
Wait. What? None. Oh, you know why? I get it. It’s way more important to protect the integrity of shoveling snow. than it is to protect the integrity of voting. What do you mean integrity of voting? What is that gonna be about? Welcome back to the program, bottom of this first hour. Oh yeah, and he’s taking it from the NYPD budget for $30. $30 an hour for snow removal. That’s your job. You should already have that figured out, Slick. This is what happens when you put a nepo baby with zero life experience in charge of a city. In charge of the biggest city in the United States of America. Wow. I can’t even believe what I’m about to say. But I actually think Poot Booty Juice would do a better job than this. I’m going to choke. I almost choked you. Dude.
SPEAKER 10 :
I would say the job would be equal. It’d probably be equal.
SPEAKER 01 :
Okay. Full stop right now. I feel like there needs to be an award created for the joke I did not make just now. Because, Cain, I was going to say, hold up, everybody. I was going to say, you know, if it’s about… Then booty juice is the great… He’s really good at that.
SPEAKER 10 :
That would be accurate.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah, especially… See? I can’t tell you guys because it’s a little… It is science, though.
SPEAKER 10 :
It’s just science-based.
SPEAKER 01 :
$30 an hour. Thou must have. If you get the newsletter, you saw this headline. For those of you who subscribe over at Substack, chapter and verse, my newsletter, you would have seen this. You would have seen this headline. Not one. Let me get the full array of requirements out because there are a lot. So 18 plus. And I’m going to read right from literally it’s from NYC.gov. So you have to be 18 plus. You must bring two small photos, 1.5 inches square, two original forms of ID, and your Social Security card to a registration appointment. So if you’re going to shovel snow… In Manhattan, you have to bring all of these things in. You have to have the two small photos, two original forms of ID and your social security card. You have to be able to perform heavy physical labor in cold, wet conditions. And it goes up to anywhere from $19 an hour up to $28 per hour after 40 hours. Yeah. So again, not even just two forms of ID. You also have to bring in two small photos and your social security card.
SPEAKER 10 :
That sounds really oppressive.
SPEAKER 01 :
That sounds racist.
SPEAKER 10 :
That is so racist. You know what’s even worse is that every government system that’s ever been created, there’s somebody who can take advantage of it and can actually make things worse than the intent that that whole policy was meant in whatever context it was meant. Now Juan’s got something for you here. Look what New Yorkers are doing with this program of $30 an hour. Because by the way, he upped it. Oh boy. He upped it from, what was it, 28?
SPEAKER 01 :
28, yeah, to 30. So a couple bucks extra.
SPEAKER 10 :
This is now how they’re handling the system in New York.
SPEAKER 05 :
Hey, fellow New Yorkers. I’m here in the snow. Listen to the so mom Donnie here in New York, you know, he wants us to shovel and He’ll pay you up to $29 an hour. Okay, listen to this So they want you to have two forms of ID including your Social Security funny, huh and guess what you go there and
SPEAKER 10 :
This part we all know, but the bottom line is they actually sign up, they get their shovel, they pretend to work, they just go home. They don’t shovel any snow. They just go home and they get paid $30 a night.
SPEAKER 01 :
What do you mean they get a shovel?
SPEAKER 10 :
I don’t know.
SPEAKER 01 :
They just hand them out shovels?
SPEAKER 10 :
Yeah, they’re handing the cities, giving out shovels to people that sign up. People in Radioland are not seeing the face you’re making.
SPEAKER 01 :
I… Wow. So they’re fake shoveling even just to get the money.
SPEAKER 10 :
Yeah. And so they’re taking advantage of a system. They’re logging hours of shoveling snow that they didn’t shovel. And they’re just getting paid out of a budget that is clearly already strained.
SPEAKER 01 :
I mean, I would think the city would have people that do that. I mean, you have entire DOTs, Department of Transportation, that deal with that type of stuff. And I guess they don’t have that in Manhattan anymore. Or it’s not that they don’t have it. It’s because they’re all ridiculously statist morons and they can’t figure out. This is what happens if you put a nepo baby in charge. He has no idea what he’s doing. Meanwhile, his wife out there is preening at Fashion Week and sitting front row while he’s, you know, going out and getting monogrammed jackets made so he can act like he’s doing something about the snowstorm. I’m telling you, like, it’s exotic Joe. Joe Exotic all over again. That’s exactly what it is. 13, cut 13. This was New York PD. Officers getting booed and hitting with snowballs. yesterday in Washington Square Park. Listen to this. So they’re pelting them with snowballs. I guess it’s better than like what the left usually does. They’re not using bullets this time or vehicles or SUVs. I can’t believe, I mean, they’re throwing snow at them. They’re throwing snowballs at them. So don’t bitch and moan about not getting your snow shovel. I wouldn’t want to shovel snow for any of these people either. Hell, I’d spray the sidewalks with more water. While it freezes. I wouldn’t want to help anybody. Good heavens. No, make them all do it themselves. And, oh, what did you say, Cain? They put rocks in them sometimes?
SPEAKER 10 :
The left is so cruel. Of course they do. They’ll throw frozen water bottles. They’ll throw these snowballs, which look so innocent, right? But they’ll put rocks in them. They’ll put heavy objects into the snowball. And then when you get hit with it, it’s devastating. And then they’re like, oh, you’re weak because you got hit by snow. The left does not play fair.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 03 :
I’ve got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how’s it going today?
SPEAKER 11 :
It’s going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I’m Dan Morgan. I’m an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America’s largest injury law firm.
SPEAKER 03 :
That’s pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion won. $20 billion is an insane number.
SPEAKER 11 :
Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It’s actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.
SPEAKER 03 :
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan & Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?
SPEAKER 11 :
Probably the easiest way is dialing Pound Law. That’s Pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow.
SPEAKER 03 :
Dan Morgan from Morgan & Morgan, America’s largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.
SPEAKER 11 :
Thanks for having me. Visit ForThePeople.com for an office near you.
SPEAKER 07 :
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SPEAKER 10 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 01 :
So the Winter Olympics, it closed with nearly double the viewers from 2022, according to new audience ratings. NBCUniversal’s coverage averaged more than 23 million viewers. Peacock had its best month ever, they said. So it’s a lot of people that maybe a lot more that tuned in. You know what? I bet a lot more would tune in if some of these athletes just tried to stop being polemicists and, you know, politicos and just decided to be the athletes they are. You know, I don’t walk over and knock the skis of somebody else’s hand. So why? It’s not the example that I want to give. But, oh, gosh, I’m telling you, I’m not going to be able to get over the looks maxing segment that’s coming up. Democrats introduced the. Wait, if it’s an act, I should be able to say it.
SPEAKER 08 :
No.
SPEAKER 01 :
It’s news, Kane. No, just F word. It is the go do something sexually unflattering to yourself ice act that starts with an F. That’s what they introduced in the New Jersey General Assembly. And they… This is literally what they’re saying. It’s called the Fight Unlawful Conduct and Keep Individuals and Communities Empowered Act. Fight Unlawful Conduct and Keep. I am going to start doing this all the time now. They want to establish state-level civil cause of action. Basically, it’s a bunch of dummies that have nothing else to propose, and this is all they got. That’s literally it. Gen Z is reviving DVDs and Blu-rays, and video rental shops are recording record months and membership numbers. I don’t even know why, but I actually love it. Move on. It is the new vinyl. Physical media sales declined only 9% in 2025. Previously, it was like 20 and 25%. So it’s a dramatic shift. Younger customers are citing frustration and they have subscription fatigue and they’re mad about having content scattered across platforms. And they view physical media as like a form of cultural rebellion. There is something, you know what? There’s something magical about being a kid. Today’s, like, you know, today’s younger Zoomers and Alpha, the kids who are still in school, they will never understand the joy of a Friday night walking with your family to a Blockbuster video, getting some candy, renting a movie. Oh, you knew it was going to be a happening Friday night. What? Those were the days. But so I’m happy for them that they’re bringing that back. We have a lot more on the way. Some interesting stuff with the GOP. Stick with us. His guest tonight, he announced it earlier, is Erica Kirk, Charlie Kirk’s widow. is going to be there. So I feel like it’s gone on long enough. And I’m so tired of this, all of this nonsense that I keep seeing this and I hate giving people oxygen that I don’t think deserve it. Candace Owens is a DEI hire for the right. The right got super excited as they do with unproven people who are brand new to the principle. And have no intellectual mooring for some reason. And they just get super excited. Like this is going to be this person is going to be the savior of the movement. This is going to be. And it’s not. I mean, the savior is you. You know, I mean, well, I mean, right. But, you know, for politically speaking, it’s everybody. And I think Erica Kirk, I’m mystified by some of this stuff. I was talking about I think we mentioned it a little bit of it last hour. And I am mystified by some of the stuff that I’ve seen. I was looking at, for instance, I think without TPUSA and without some of that, the drama, I think Owens goes away because her entire being is wrapped up in that. I mean, how long has this been going on now? For real, this has been going on since Charlie was murdered. It’s been going on that long. It’s insane. And I mean, the whole… I don’t even have words for it anymore. I really don’t. I don’t have. Did you see the image? I guess she’s I don’t watch her program because I have a life. I don’t watch it. And she’s apparently doing a special. I’m pulling up something that I can have for myself here. She’s apparently, I guess, doing a special on Erica Kirk. How is this not demonic looking, by the way? I just this is absolutely demonic. And Erica Kirk is going to be a guest of POTUS tonight. So I just think it’s already gone way too far. I think Candace is a demon who is scorned because Charlie picked his wife over her. You know, that’s I think Candace thought she was going to be able to run TP USA with her questionably heterosexual British husband. And that’s not what happened. She acts like a bunny boiler. She acts like Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. And that’s honestly what this is about. That coupled with her very desperate need for attention, which has been her entire life. She is very consistent in the cringe level need for attention and clicks. And I’m going to tell you, may God have mercy on the souls of people who persecute widows. I mean, I shouldn’t have to list all the instances in Scripture where we’re called to care for widows, no matter whether or not you like how they look. Anybody who has a need of self-aggrandizement that overpowers God’s command on bearing false witness and God’s command on the treatment of widows, may God have mercy on your soul, too, because this is just this is insane. And it would help if some of the grifters. And the dime a dozen that were clinging on to Charlie’s orbit. They are also eager and shameless to make a buck off of him. But they are silent when it comes to defending his widow. They’re complicit in this as far as I’m concerned. But, you know, I was thinking about this after I saw that image. And maybe some of the people who said, well, Candace isn’t going after his widow directly. Well, yeah, she is now. What are you going to do about it? What’s good? She’s going directly after her. I realize that, you know, not everybody’s perfect and not everybody’s perfect in faith. But I don’t have any discernible evidence that this woman’s a Christian. I have no discernible evidence that Candace Owens is a Christian. Do Christians race hustle? That’s how she started out. Race hustling with the NAACP, suing white teenagers. That’s how she started out. Bearing false witness. Is that a Christian thing? Is that what Jesus would do? Or what about persecuting widows because you’re scorned and jealous? Is that a Christian hallmark? Judge them by their fruits. You know, I think of in Matthew, was it Matthew 7? I don’t see any discernible Christian discipleship and the behavior that I see from Owen’s. And it’s just nonstop for months and months. And anybody that comments on it for the first time, they’re like, why are you attacking her? What are you talking about? She’s been doing this for six months. This is insane. It’s demented. I don’t understand the group of women that fall all over everything she says. Are you that unfulfilled in your lives that this is what you do? I mean, if online behavior is anything to go by, no wonder you have all this free time on your hands. Your husbands don’t want to have anything to do with you. Oh, if it cuts, then it’s meant to be. This has gone on way too long. It’s ridiculous. And I do wish that, you know, you see some of Charlie’s real friends out there defending her. But then all those grifters, that promo code Bannon, you know, all those grifters out there, they’re more eager to make a buck often than defend the widow of their so-called friend. It’s ghastly. No, there’s nothing Christian in Owen’s behavior here. Nothing at all. There’s nothing that would lead you to indicate or that would indicate or lead you to believe that she is in any way some sort of disciple. This is the type of person that puts it on for clicks. That’s it. I mean, going after someone, and I hear people say all the time, well, she’s creepy, she’s put together. I don’t care what your objections are. Who are you? How dare you? You’re judgmental jackwagons. You need to question your walk with Jesus, too. We’ve talked before. She’s a pageant girl. I shouldn’t even have to explain any of this. I’ve met her a couple of times. Is her aesthetic mine? No. But what does that matter? Good is good and evil is evil. What is someone’s appearance matter to you in that context? Oh, she walked out. I actually had someone say to me, she walked out in a sparkly dress. That’s your objection. Go pray because you need Jesus. I’m so tired of this stuff. And some of this is from people who don’t even know these people. This is why I really, I pray legitimately that we get just hit by an asteroid and obliterated because we deserve it. I mean, you know, Jesus is Jesus because he did something that I wouldn’t do for anybody. I don’t love y’all enough to do it. Sorry. It’s mean to say, but it’s true. I’d be lying otherwise. I mean, good night. All it’s these people who don’t even know and they jump in gleefully to gossip about a widow that they’ve never even met. How sad is that of an existence? No one holds their tongue in order to be seen in society. Everybody has to have a hot take. It’s disgusting. It’s it’s it is not an attractive quality. And she’s going to be the guest at State of the Union tonight. I’m wondering if she’s even, you know, the left is going to sit down when he acknowledges her. They’re not going to stand up and applaud. And then all of the, you know, the woke Reich is going to go crazy because they’ve been fed this diet of conspiracy theories. It’s just shameful. You know, I imagine it’s not difficult to grieve in public for someone who was such a presence as Charlie was. I can’t even imagine how difficult it is with young kids to grieve in public and to continue going on. That’s not suspicious. It’s called strength. And a lot of the people commenting on her lack it. And I’m wondering if one of the reasons that some people are so jealous and have this crazy idea is because they’re seeing what’s deficient within their own lives. Whether or not you like how someone dresses or dabs their eyes or has extensions or whatever is irrelevant to what you are called to do scripturally as it pertains to treatment of widows. And if you can’t agree on that, then you take your fight to God. Good luck with you because they ain’t going to happen. But I am so tired of this fake Christian packaging and this fake trad, all of it. I mean, it’s… And I hate even commenting on it because I feel like it cheapens what I do. It cheapens the content here. It cheapens the… Nature of commentary to even have to comment on this ridiculous nonsense. It is embarrassing for the right. And if the right had self-awareness, they’d cringe to death. It is so embarrassing. That’s why I always avoid it talking about it. But this stuff has gone too far. This is absolutely demonic. And I rarely say that. But this is evil. And I don’t care if you don’t like the way Erica Kirk looks or not. I don’t care if you approve of how she mourns. I don’t care if you don’t approve of the pyrotechnics that they had at the memorial I attended that the drive-bys didn’t. That’s something Charlie liked, and he viewed that as a measure of how big a movement was, by the way, whether or not you could fill a room big enough to have pyrotechnics. But nobody in their zeal to join the gossip stopped to even consider or even look for themselves as to why that was present. I hope you feel convicted for those who did it. Scripture doesn’t ask for you to like the person that you’re supposed to love. It’s easy to like people that are easy to like. people who are always nice to you, never object, people who never challenge you in any way. I mean, it’s super lazy and easy to do that. Even the weakest person can do it. But I’m just really shocked by a lot of what I’ve been seeing on the right. A lot of godlessness that’s dressed up as fake faith. Now, I’m just pointing it out because I’m not the one that you all got to worry about. I’m not the one that they got to be concerned with. The one that they got to be concerned with is the one that’s going to be meeting them at the gate and calling them to account for every idle phrase they said, every time they lied, every time that they dragged a widow’s name through the mud, every single time. And you know what? You’re not going to tell God, oh, well, I was doing it for clicks. That just makes it worse. I was doing it to chase clout. That just makes it worse. So those people are going to, I’m not the one they got to worry about. They got to worry about availing themselves. They always say Christ is king, but they don’t live it. And it shows.
SPEAKER 07 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 04 :
Are you a fraud-paying American? One in four tax-paying Americans has been a victim of identity fraud. With LifeLock, if your identity is stolen, they fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Last year, billions in refunds were stolen. Could be from your salary, overtime, or second job. Gone. But this year, you don’t need to stay a victim, because this tax season… From Federal Reserve funny business to the pandemic of loneliness, Liberty Nation Radio is running the gauntlet on a whole host of topics that matter to you. Don’t forget to tune in.
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Author, columnist, managing editor of LibertyNation.com. Podcast host and conservative policy advocate. We dismiss history at our peril. Liberty Nation with Mark Angelides.
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