From Florida Man’s notorious escapades to a heated debate on U.S. immigration policy, this episode of Dana Lash’s ‘Absurd Truth’ podcast covers it all. We also delve into the significance (or lack thereof) of Cinco de Mayo and challenge common stereotypes perpetuated by mainstream media. Tune in for a lively conversation filled with humor, insight, and unfiltered opinions.
00:22:57 Discussion on Cinco de Mayo and Misconceptions
00:27:00 Debate on Self-Deportation Costs and Policies
SPEAKER 05 :
Liberty Nation with Mark Angelides.
SPEAKER 10 :
From draining the swamp to challenges through the courts, Donald Trump has his work cut out. But does he have the motivation to finish the job? You’ll find out on Liberty Nation Radio.
SPEAKER 05 :
Author, columnist, managing editor of LibertyNation.com. Podcast host and conservative policy advocate. We dismiss history at our peril. Liberty Nation with Mark Angelides.
SPEAKER 02 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 09 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 01 :
A Florida man was sentenced for assaulting a DFW gate agent. 53-year-old Florida man was sentenced to four months in federal prison for assaulting the DFW gate agent in October of last year. He pled guilty to interference with security screening personnel. He faced 10 years for the crime. He was at the gate. Security footage showed him repeatedly punching the gate agent in the head. Now, there have all been times when we felt like doing that. But you don’t do it because assault’s illegal. And he admitted that he did it. And I mean, obviously, because he’s on camera doing it. But they removed him from the jeopardy. And you can’t do stuff like that. Some people are special than you. You can’t do that kind of stuff. I’m just saying, you know, find a different way to resolve. Am I supposed to feel super sad? We’ve all been in a bad situation. We all have bad stories, but you can’t do that with them because they’re particularly protected. Let’s see. Florida man smeared feces in jail cell after his DUIRS at Santa Rosa Beach. That’s kind of gross. I’m not doing the one where the guy had three wives in three different counties because for the fourth day it keeps appearing in these headlines. So this guy, he was in jail, Santa Rosa Beach. He was taken in Walton County. He was driving under the influence. There was all these disruptive incidents. And they arrested 47-year-old Jason Buchanan. And he was harassing people, confrontational. When they got him, he… Went to the bathroom in his cell and made a giant mess. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash here at the bottom of this first hour. We’re in a Brit pop, Brit rock, like late 90s, early aughts mood because of the rain and the storm here in Texas. It’s not helping the mood. We’re really more cynical and gothy than we are normally. So it’s good to be with you. Channel 347 is the stream over at Direct TV. You can also catch us, X, Rumble, where the chat is. I’m not responsible for what those people do. Facebook, YouTube, all that good stuff. Blah, blah, blah. So I want to just change because I could sit here and we could just talk forever all three hours about Tara. There’s other stuff happening. So we’re going to circle back. One of the things that I do, it’s like a guilty pleasure. Well, I love people watching, right? I read the Daily Mail, which is a garbage paper because I like to people watch, right? Just like if you go out and you have a glass of wine, it’s nice enough. You’re sitting outside talking with your friends, your spouse, whatever, and you’re just people watching outside, right? So the Met Gala, which I normally don’t pay attention to and haven’t for like ever. because it’s usually a bunch of stuffy people that wear overpriced stuff, and they try to be very extravagant, and it’s all for the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Anna Wintour, who helms Vogue, she organizes it, and she’s notoriously steely about whoever gets in and what the theme is. So the theme last night, and I thought it was kind of odd, because it seemed like… It was very – well, it seemed like it was very racially charged. So there’s a style. It’s called dandyism, right? And dandyism was black or white. It was all manner of everything. And it was basically – How do I put it? Like you’re dressed into the nines. Like when you step out with accessories on point, like you’ve got the hat, you’ve got the fascinator. If you’re a lady, you’ve got, you know, everything is like perfectly tailored. You look sharp. It’s pressed. You look like you just hopped out of a band box. It, you look nice. Now it’s always, and I love it. Tailoring and proper dress because they think it’s a sign of a healthy society. I am super old school and I go into rabbit holes with this stuff. What they did yesterday is they wanted to focus specifically on black dandyism. With an emphasis on structure with clothing. Now you might be like, what does that mean? Really? I don’t know. It’s up for interpretation. If you look at some of the people who arrived at the Met Gala. Now the Met Gala is this big fundraiser thing that they do for the Metropolitan Museum of Art. They’re one big thing a year. Everybody goes to it. Well, not everybody. It’s a very like Anna Wintour specifically selects each guest. So they wanted to explore black dandyism. specifically, which I thought, okay, it’s Anna Wintour. She’s super far left. Of course, it’s going to be racially charged, whatever. So it just basically means you’re going to dress to the nines. You could pay homage to, I guess, black iconic members of art or whatever. And then your outfits are supposed to be a little structured. Usually this is where people get weird with their stuff. They get experimental. Experimental, I guess, makes sense in some sense. I am one of those people that believes that form follows function. But I also think you don’t have to rob it of flair. So some of them, like the dude who had a fake piano strapped to his back yesterday, I just didn’t get it. And, you know, I was looking at this and my first thought when I watched all these people first, I first thought the guest list was kind of a downgrade. There apparently there was like an only fans person that got invited. How does that even happen? Now, wait, don’t show up. We’ll get to the Pam Anderson thing in a minute because that’s a whole other topic. So the first thing I thought was, I guess they’re just inviting anybody and everybody here. Kamala Harris attended last night and she was in a Cruella de Vil gown that was half black and half white. And the way British, I think it was British folk, they said, oh, she looks stunning. That is an overused word. Like I see people all the time go, that’s gorgeous or that’s stunning. I’m like, no, it’s not. That’s like mid. Stop. She’s not stunning. It looked like a jersey dress from, you know, like a wrap dress from the 90s. Juan’s getting ready to show you what she… Okay, so this is her outfit. First off, if you’re going to wear a neck scarf, you don’t need dangly earrings because there’s too much happening there in the neck area, particularly with the pleats going around the shoulder. I get very weird about this stuff. Also, I don’t understand what’s happening with the sleeves. Like one of the sleeves is blousey and the other one’s more structured. There’s no structure in this dress. And if it’s satin, it’s such an unflattering material and it just drapes across her pitifully highlighting all of her worst areas. Why would you wear this? I don’t like asymmetrical necklines with neck scarves like this and then completely out of place dangly like quasi chandelier earrings. Stop it. I am my grandmother. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. That just hit me. I’m 90. So you see what I mean? I just don’t like it. When you wear a dress like that, you shouldn’t have two humps, the bust and the belly, okay? You can’t. You got to pick one over the other. You can’t have something that drapes like that. I know guys don’t care about this, but guys, I’m giving you an insight into the female psyche, so just bank it, okay? So I was looking at this. I’m like, well, damn, they just invited anybody and everybody. I was waiting to see, like, what’s his face? Billy Ray Cyrus show up, although he’s dating Elizabeth Hurley right now, so that’s a whole… Dude, Google that. Google it. Don’t have a heart attack. Billy Ray Cyrus is dating Elizabeth Hurley, who was the punk queen in her day before she got with Hugh Grant. Google that. I was highly, I was like waiting to see him step on the red carpet. And then I can’t remember who this guy was with the piano on his back, but okay. I don’t know what’s the red bean. Okay. You know, I don’t know. He looks like he just got, you know, like a, an achievement in dark tide and he’s wearing it on his back. I don’t understand what’s happening, but okay. It’s accurate. So here’s my thing. You have all these people, they have the structure dress. Some, some, some look nice. 98% look like trash. I thought Zendaya looked really good. I thought her outfit was nice. I loved her headwear. Make headwear great again. Hats on women need to become a thing again. But can we talk about Pam Anderson for a moment? Because there are a lot of people that were questioning her. Now, if you don’t follow Pam Anderson, I mean, clearly she was married to Tommy Lee. Everybody knows that she was the Baywatch babe. She was like the 90s icon. So she shows up. She got her haircut. And she’s been in a thing where she doesn’t wear makeup. And she did it for health reasons. If you follow her, she explained why she doesn’t wear makeup. She wants to be healthy. She cooks organically. She even has a cooking show that Meghan Markle totally ripped off poorly because Pam Anderson actually cooks. She makes all her own food. She grows her own vegetables. I mean, she’s super healthy and fit. That takes a lot of effort. So she’s been going to these events with no makeup on. So she showed up at the Met Gala last night. And a lot of people were going, can you believe how dowdy and frumpy she looks? I need a full stop with these people because most of the people that I see criticizing her looks would not be given a second glance from a one or two out of 10 at the bar. Okay. The people who are criticizing her, they’re like ones and twos. I need them to take a million seats right now because ugly people don’t get to comment on Pam Anderson’s outfit. Okay. So first off, let’s start with us. She’s 57 years old. Her skin is flawless. She puts a lot of effort into taking care of herself. For the people who think that effort is only manifest by wearing a butt ton of makeup on your face, right? I hate makeup. I don’t even have eye makeup on right now. I have mascara and that’s it because I can’t stand makeup and it’s humid here. So she has amazing skin, 57 years old. She has not had plastic surgery. She is naturally fit. She is wearing a completely appropriate, perfectly tailored, structured dress befitting the theme. Her haircut is on point. The bangs may not be my taste, but they’re well executed. She’s 57. I know 20 year olds who could not go on the red carpet bare faced because their skin looks like asphalt. Right. They look like it’s like pockmarked. I know 30 year olds who do not have this woman’s figure. So she shows up naturally looking better than 95% of the people there. That’s a win. She looks amazing. And there is no shame. Newsflash. Women don’t have to be boobs out with caked on makeup, spider leg lashes, hair extensions out the ass, you know, with a full everything, acrylic everything. They don’t have to look like a wrung out, try hard, only fans want to be sex pot. They can also look like this and have some natural beauty. So mega props to Pam Anderson for flying the one finger salute in the face of society and restating what true feminine beauty looks like. Mega props to her. And for all the ones and twos and mids that are criticizing her, let’s wait until you’re 57 years old and let’s parade you on the red carpet with your natural skin and your figure and let’s see if you can even remotely compare. So I thought she was one of the winners of this. And I told Kane on break, I look at things like this, like events like this, as a… kind of like a temperature check on society, right? And I was looking at the people that were on the red carpet and it just looked like it was nothing. It just looked like it fell off. It looked like a symptom of a sick, sad, broken society, right? Broken fashion, just people who tried too hard, right? Oh, Juan’s getting Zendaya. I thought her outfit was perfect. Perfectly tailored suit. Perfect hat. She was a winner. This is what, you know, feminine beauty. You don’t have to be like OnlyFans. You don’t have to, you know, with the Jasmine Crockett eyelashes and the extensions, you know, out to there. You don’t have to have all that. But otherwise, I thought it looked like just a sick, sad society. I did. And I love that Pam Anderson, her face was so shining. I mean, she just like was light. She just, I loved it. And I’m not like a big, I’m not like a major fan. Like I haven’t followed her all her life. I just saw, you know, some of the things that she said. her good on her right isn’t that what we want or no we want fake stuff right we want fake engagement we want fake everything we want fake news we want fake lives we want curated carousels that only show off our best moments fake fake fake i mean that’s literally part of the digital sickness And we expect it to translate to real life events like this. And when it doesn’t, we’re like, oh my gosh, that’s so unlike what I’m used to seeing on Instagram where everybody looks like they’re made of marzipan. They’re all flawless. Everyone you know uses a filter. I don’t even post pictures of myself when I’m in bad light. Admittedly, I totally don’t. Everybody uses something just so you know. But no one wants to be honest about it because everybody’s supposed to be perfect. That is a digital sickness. And it’s something that we, who are all about conserving individual power, and I think being who you are is part of that individual power, should be pushing back against. So good on Pam Anderson. Good on all these people for looking nice and all this stuff. Otherwise, oh my gosh, there were some absolute misses. Men do not need to be in skirts. I don’t care unless you’re Scottish. Don’t do it. And it’s not a skirt. It’s a kilt. But don’t do it. You know, don’t do it. I don’t want to see it. I don’t like some of the men look like fruitcakes. They just did. I’m like, some of y’all look a little bit light in them loafers and not in a fashionable way. I have to say. So that’s, you can’t even pay any attention to any of this. That’s the biggest dose of estrogen some of them have been listening to will get for this year. It’s just that right there. But I do think it’s like a sign of a sick society. It is, isn’t it not? Like you look at some of this stuff and you’re like, oh my gosh, this is supposed to be the best. Steve DJ Fonicle said that Sabrina Carpenter looked like an M&M. I barely know who she is. But she has way too many extensions. Like, you should not look like Aslan. Like, Kristi Noem needs to stop with the extensions. It looked like she skinned Aslan and put it on her head. Quit. Stop it. Your natural hair is pretty. Stop doing that stuff. Stop it. I just and and also platform shoes. It makes you look like Clydesdales. Oh, if you think I’m even remotely done, I’m not because we have the New Yorker magazine spread that looked at all of these dirty hippies and leftists. If you get my newsletter at Substack. So that’s Sabrina Carpenter. Those are Clydesdale hooves. Those aren’t feet. Those aren’t heels. Those are Clydesdale hooves. Every time I see them, I think clop, clop, clop. that’s all I hear that’s all I hear ladies you’re supposed to be like elegant and and not like and most women can’t even walk in heels anyway it’s like watching toddler stomps to stop anyway so if you think I’m even remotely done stick around I feel like you know somebody’s got to be Joan Rivers God love that woman. Rest her soul. GoldCo is making it easy to take that first step toward protecting your savings. Just fill out a quick form. No commitment. Just free information. And then they’ll ship you your free 2025 gold and silver kit straight to your door. No shipping fees. No strings. Just a free info kit to help you understand how gold and silver can fit into your financial plan. I’m a big believer in doing your research and this kit is a great place to start. 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Plan on flying? It’s time to upgrade to a Real ID. Because in order to board domestic flights, your driver’s license or state-issued ID must be a Real ID. Or you’ll need another acceptable form of identification. So don’t wait. Find out how to get your Real ID at tsa.gov slash realid. That’s tsa.gov slash realid. Or visit your local DMV. And then you’ll be cleared for takeoff.
SPEAKER 04 :
New data shows consistent polar ice levels for 20 years. Great news for everyone except the climate alarmists. Democrats in Colorado push new immigration laws to help illegals avoid deportation. And Republicans try to end shady lawmaker stock trading with the Pelosi Act. I’m Greg Karumbas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the 3 Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad, and crazy news of the day, and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the 3 Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And now all of the news you would probably miss.
SPEAKER 09 :
It’s time for Dana’s quick five.
SPEAKER 01 :
All righty. So a Georgia camper kills a rabid bobcat with his bare hands. He said it was either him or me. Georgia man was left fighting for his life. A rabid bobcat attacked him while he was out camping. OK, can I just say this is another reason like why? I mean, I’m all for going out in nature, but I ain’t going to sleep out in it because we invented the house as a people, you know. As humans, we invented the house. But this feller, Midway, Georgia, Hunter Hudson, he’s out camping, and a bobcat struck without warning. And he says, it was me or him. It was me or him. And I got two little boys, 12 and 5, and daddy’s coming home. He said he was enjoying a quiet campfire when a sound in the dark just shattered the night. I heard a crazy noise. You know, I never heard it before, he said. And then that bobcat came out of nowhere. His friend apparently got the video without even helping him. I’m like, help him. His friend’s recording the video like, ah. He says, I walked out of my camper and got attacked by a bobcat. He goes, I wasn’t looking for the bobcat. The bobcat found me and jumped on my shoulder. He said his gun was out of reach. So he had to rely on pure instinct. He said he grabbed him, pulled him as hard as he could, took his thumbs and put him in his nose, hurt his nose so he couldn’t breathe. He had blood running at the end of his fingertips. He said, I had to call the ambulance. And then the bobcat tested positive for rabies. So he had 40 shots. And they’re about a half an inch to an inch needles. They’re real painful shots. I mean, modern medicine had not improved on them. They are real painful. You got to get that medicine deep in there. But his friend had the footage of it. And I’m like, did he stop to hand you the gun at any point? Or, you know, where you could at least shot it in the head, something. I don’t know. In Massachusetts, if you smell cucumbers in your home, get out. Now, wait a minute. This is not right. I grew up with copperheads. I don’t think they smell like cucumbers, but they say that it mimics the scent of cucumbers. It has a musk, but I don’t think it’s like cucumbers. Cain, you grew up around copperheads too.
SPEAKER 09 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 01 :
I mean, how we’d be out in the woods all the time.
SPEAKER 09 :
I don’t remember this cucumber smell, but they say whenever they get bothered or threatened that that’s the scent they give off.
SPEAKER 01 :
There is a musk that you can smell.
SPEAKER 09 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 01 :
But cucumbers? I almost stepped on one one time. I had a dog that attacked by it. We got in a nest of them. How you say cucumber? If you wanted to be Hillary What’s-Her-Face Baldwin. How you say you get the hair away from the copperhead snake? How you say cucumber? That woman. I’ve never heard of that before. Cucumber. Men are shaving off their eyelashes because they said that it makes them look feminine. Stop it. Stop doing that, men. A famous gorilla hurls a rock into a crowded zoo and hit a man on the head. I feel like doing that some days. Some days I feel just like that Harambe wannabe right there. I do. As we move, our partners, they’ll bring you the program. It’s our friends over at Caltech. Finally, the Gen 3 Sub 2K. I’ve been waiting for this for a very, very long time. I love the PR57, but this Sub 2K, I’ve been waiting for a 10 millimeter, and now it is here. It is the new third generation Sub 2K. Folds fast. The optics all stay in place. And it deploys super quickly, as quickly as well, zeroed and ready to rock. Innovation with a twist that’s now available in 10 millimeter. So it’s a folding carbine, so it’s available in all different types of calibers. And it’s even more versatile with the new 10 millimeter chambering. It has a single twist and fold motion of that rotating forend, so it folds super fast in half. Optics and all deploys super fast optics and all. It takes Glock mags. Standard 15-round Glock 20 mag. Got a lot of capacity for whatever your shooting needs are. You got an optional extended mag as well. There’s an internal buffer for softer recoil, 5-pound trigger pull, integrated M-lock. You got Picatinny rails if you want some accessories. It’s great for everything. Backpacking, home defense, having fun, church security, whatever. It’s there. Kel-Tec makes everything right here in the USA. So don’t worry about tariffs. These are American materials. American labor, American workers, American manufacturing, and they stand behind every single thing that they make. We need more American companies like Kel-Tec. Learn more at keltecweapons.com. Innovation, performance, Kel-Tec, K-E-L-T-E-C, weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
SPEAKER 08 :
If you like true crime, you’ll love the Miracle Files podcast.
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We share real stories with the suspense of true crime, but we’ll leave you with a sense of light and hope.
SPEAKER 08 :
Like the college wrestler who fought a grizzly, the woman who was dead for nearly an hour, or the child lost in a dark mine for days. These are the kind of stories that remind us miracles are real.
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Subscribe to the Miracle Files wherever you get your podcasts and join us on this thrilling journey of faith and miracles.
SPEAKER 01 :
Can we also discuss how CNN thinks that Mexicans are too afraid to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with Audio Soundbite 5? Because I’m… We got to talk about some media malpractice. Go ahead and hit us with this one.
SPEAKER 06 :
Today is May 5th, and that means Cinco de Mayo Wolf, a holiday that celebrates Mexico’s victory over France. But some in the Battle of Puebla, I should say, but some communities have canceled or scaled back cultural events because of President Trump’s crackdown on illegal immigration and the fear among many Latinos that they could be arrested.
SPEAKER 01 :
Why, thank you, white blonde woman. And the man whose name is Wolf. Thank you. So one of my friends, and so I’m going to ask why did Jason Kane and Juan here. So even though it’s like a Mexican thing, one of my friends who is Mexican says that no real Mexican actually celebrates Cinco de Mayo. Is that true?
SPEAKER 09 :
It’s actually true. I mean, we may have some Mexican food that day, but what is there to celebrate, honestly? What is there to do to celebrate?
SPEAKER 01 :
My friend, she goes, look, the only people who celebrate this, she goes, are the suburban people who go out to like, you know, TGI Fridays and they have some margaritas. Those are the only people who celebrate it.
SPEAKER 09 :
Is it true? Well, and the businesses that sell those things.
SPEAKER 01 :
Well, yeah, but it’s not like a giant Hispanic celebration is what she was saying.
SPEAKER 09 :
No, it is not.
SPEAKER 01 :
Because I was like, wait, you’ve never celebrated? She was like, no. Nope. Interesting.
SPEAKER 09 :
There’s nothing like every year, you know, we do the 4th of July. We have like the barbecue and the fireworks and there’s a whole ba-ba-ba.
SPEAKER 01 :
You got a cookout.
SPEAKER 09 :
Yeah. For Cinco de Mayo, it’s not. It’s like, wow, let’s get an avocado on that taco today.
SPEAKER 01 :
It’s not really an extra line in the mark.
SPEAKER 09 :
It’s not a big deal.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah, she I was just dying laughing at it because I thought it was hysterical. But leave it to the I mean, you know, she is the lady on CNN, the blonde white savior there. Oh, my goodness. How racist is that? Oh, there’s security even celebrates and go to Maya. Well, it’s it’s the white people that they’re serving. that are celebrating Cinco de Mayo. And they’re not celebrating Cinco de Mayo for the same reason that they all pretend to be Irish on St. Paddy’s Day. They’re not celebrating St. Paddy. They’re drinking.
SPEAKER 09 :
That’s what it is.
SPEAKER 01 :
It’s a drinking day. It’s a day where you can drink. And it’s like, oh, you’re drunk and it’s 2 o’clock. Well, it is St. Paddy’s Day. Oh, you’re drunk and it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon. Oh, well, it is Cinco de Mayo. That’s acceptable.
SPEAKER 09 :
Same thing.
SPEAKER 01 :
Maybe I’m being too, so in my, I was raised, it’s not a written, formally written rule, but it’s like you don’t get drunk when the sun’s up is the rule, unless it’s 4th of July. Right. Maybe St. Paddy’s. But, you know, then that’s acceptable. You’re at a cookout, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, otherwise, nah, not for a minor thing. You don’t do that stuff.
SPEAKER 09 :
But Cinco de Mayo is like the St. Paddy’s Day.
SPEAKER 01 :
It is. It’s the Mexican St. Paddy’s Day.
SPEAKER 09 :
It’s like America’s excuse to day drink.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah, it is. That’s right. It’s it’s the they’re they’re like Halloween is the chance to walk around and slutty stuff like a lot of women. Exactly. This is. Yeah, exactly. I just I was laughing hysterically over that because, you know, then you then it looks even more ridiculous when you see that CNN soundbite when you hear it. Oh my gosh, Wolf, me, a blonde-haired, blue-eyed white woman. All the Mexicans are so scared to celebrate Cinco de Mayo because they’re going to get totes arrested. I can’t believe this is an actual CNN thing. And he sat there like, you know, again, this is my favorite thing to say right now. A cigar store ending and just blinking, you know. So they’re canceling this. They’re afraid of being deported by ICE. I don’t think… Could you be any more racist there? Could you be more racist? I don’t even know who that was. They just rotate these people to sit in by wolf.
SPEAKER 09 :
By the way, they can self-deport. They don’t have to be at the mercy of ICE.
SPEAKER 01 :
Okay, can we talk about that coming up? Because I don’t want to pay anybody to self-deport. GTFO. What? I’m not paying you $1,000. I do. You can self-deport, or I will drag you out by your ankles. I disagree with you 100%. And I will yeet you the hell over the Rio.
SPEAKER 09 :
I completely disagree with you 100%.
SPEAKER 01 :
Where’s the money coming from, Kane?
SPEAKER 09 :
What do you mean? It’s coming from the savings.
SPEAKER 01 :
Why is the carpet wet, Todd?
SPEAKER 09 :
Did you see the per person rate? Did you see the per person of the cost it does per person to deport using ICE? And then what it costs, the suggested cost for self-deporting.
SPEAKER 01 :
No, no.
SPEAKER 09 :
You can do this with your hands all you want to when you talk. More than $10,000 per person savings by doing the self-deportation.
SPEAKER 01 :
king thinks that if he makes if he emphasizes doing the chef kiss hand that i have to put it more accurate i do it doesn’t so sometimes talk with my hands no no why why is it that’s first off that’s a that’s a false argument and here’s why it’s why do we have to give them any money you can deport or you can get yeeted the hell over the rio okay i’m sure daddy holman’s got some arm strength do you think it’s free to get yeeted over by your ankle do you think it’s free to get yeeted
SPEAKER 09 :
Is that what you think?
SPEAKER 01 :
I would eat someone over for free.
SPEAKER 09 :
Yes, of course. You and I would totally do that for free.
SPEAKER 01 :
No, hear me out. Hear me out. Hear me out. My dream, I want to make a trebuchet. I don’t know why. It’s a fascinating medieval weaponry in the balance of which, you know, I think it’s amazing.
SPEAKER 09 :
I’m still with you. We could just put a bunch of them in there and just… I am 100% for that idea. It’s still not free. The trebuchet costs money.
SPEAKER 01 :
I would pay for its construction.
SPEAKER 09 :
Yes, but it still costs money.
SPEAKER 01 :
You would have a bowl big enough to fit 20 illegal immigrants in and then just… Right over.
SPEAKER 09 :
Great idea.
SPEAKER 01 :
The cartels can lay some pillows down on the other side.
SPEAKER 09 :
Crapping on the idea. There’s a money savings here.
SPEAKER 01 :
The money savings is to yeet them over. And there are a lot of people who would do it, like myself, who would love nothing more than weekend warrior.
SPEAKER 09 :
It turns out that self-yeeting is cheaper.
SPEAKER 01 :
That’s not self-eating if you’re paying them.
SPEAKER 09 :
It’s self-eating.
SPEAKER 01 :
You’re incentivizing illegal crossing. Yes, yes. And then they’re going to come back because then you’re leaving the door for them to come back.
SPEAKER 09 :
To a tune that’s much cheaper.
SPEAKER 01 :
Oh, my gosh. Oh, no, no. I am not going for less money. I’m going for no money spent.
SPEAKER 02 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Absurd Truth: Failed Dishwashing Robots