The Todd Herman Show (1s):
Hey, this is Todd Herman, host of the Todd Herman Show. You might have heard me on Rush Limbaugh Show as a regular fill in for about eight years. I now do a show out of the High Mountains of free America. ’cause you know, I got exiled from Seattle on the FBI’s radar. Look back at nine 11 in the attacks and formed by what we now know about FBI bosses and how many metric, tons of utter trash to human beings eat in a lifetime. By the way, what is that doing to our bodies? Check out the Todd Herman Show every day on Apple Podcasts or wherever you gets your podcasts.
1 (32s):
Dana Lash’s of Absurd Truth podcast sponsored by KelTec.
2 (37s):
It’s his laugh mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida man.
3 (46s):
Right? I just keep looking at these memes about the, the Hezbollah getting paged. It’s paging Hezbollah paging. All right, so a Florida man used a syringe. This is so gross. This is like such a Florida story. A Florida man allegedly used a syringe to squirt a grody unknown liquid on a girl’s backside at a Ross dress for less, and then started filming. It also looks like someone drew his hair on his head with a Sharpie. It’s true. 25-year-old Florida man is behind bars for this. Sean Edward Ybi is facing a felony charge of battery on a child involving bodily bodily flu fluids and a so gross and a misdemeanor battery charge.
3 (1m 32s):
He’s also accused of tampering with evidence per records. They got his A, BC affiliate. WPLG got his arrest report. they said that the girl told Miami-Dade police, she was shopping at the store when patrons came up to her and told her that a guy w in a, in a Miami Dolphins hat was squirting from a syringe, the stuff on the back of her jean shorts and then filming her and Oh, my gosh. And so they found, oh gosh, this’s so gross. I’m not gonna share anything about what was in the syringe ’cause it’s probably yes, it’s exactly what you thought it was. Exactly. And yeah, and they, he’s on, he’s in jail. Miami-Dade Corrections, $8,500 bond.
3 (2m 14s):
See, this is why you carry just saying Why, would you shoot and kill that man for doing that Why? would that man volunteer to be shot and killed by doing that? Just, you know, that’s the question. Oh, why are people so gross this floor to man? Geez, a Florida man was yelling, take me to jail at the cops. As he drove down the road with his lawnmower, he was obviously super drunk. He was videotaped, videotaped really? He was just like recorded driving a lawnmower on the main road. And as police caught up with him, which wasn’t difficult, we can’t play any of this audio, by the way, because woo, it was, it’s in Newsweek. According, according to the video though, after they, the officers caught up to him, he was yelling at them, take me me to jail.
3 (2m 60s):
The Florida man named Paul Burke. He was arrested on charges of driving under the influence you I mean he was on a lawnmower, but he was, you know, drunk. And he apparently had three other DUI charges and he was trying to drive a lawnmower down the highway, which you can’t do, by the way. And then I just yelling, take me to jail. Just you can’t do that. A Florida man threw a toilet through a window. And then this is in East St. Louis. He’s a Florida man in East St. Louis. He chucked a, a commode from a toilet chucker, don don’t know. He chucked a commode and then apparent threw a window of a school board headquarters. And then apparently he has another one to launch. They found 36-year-old Dave Toliver a block away.
3 (3m 42s):
They, they police were sure that they had the right guy because he was sitting on the tech, the second toilet That, he was about to chuck. And so now he’s in custody on a, on a charge of criminal damage to property, a Class C felony on $10,000 bond. So the guy who chucked the toilet is just on for higher bond than the guy who was being all dirty at the Ross dress for less. Just wanna point that out.
KelTec (4m 5s):
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3 (5m 18s):
You guys remember pagers, but wasn like a big thing in high school pagers. If you had a pager, according to Nana, you were a drug dealer or a doctor. One of the two like no in between. Yeah, there’s no in between. You were either a doctor or a drug dealer according to Nana, if you had a pager, sir, but can I just point out like, I get it, if you’re like a doctor and like you get like a 9 1 1 code on your, I get that. But if you’re a regular person with a pager, like you had to go and find a phone and call somebody, but wasn so dumb. you know what? you know how dumb, but wasn, how, what? How did we live before? Call waiting or call waiting. Call caller id. How did we live before that? I mean? Now I can ignore people’s calls so much more easily with caller ID than you know I could ever before.
3 (6m 4s):
That’s makes you not wanna use it. Makes you, makes it easier to not use your phone anyway. The reason I bring this up with Hezbollah, they nine dead 2,800 injured. The Israeli defense minister warned, look, the was telling the United States, look, the clock is running out on having a diplomatic solution. The diplomatic solution coming from Democrats that are running the government is, well, let’s just sit around and do nothing. Maybe it’ll evolve, maybe it’ll resolve itself. Just don’t do anything. So today the Israelis alerted a bunch of people in Hezbollah and Beirut. Their pagers were rigged with explosives. And they all went off this morning. It was pager detonations.
3 (6m 45s):
And they said that a lot of people were wounded. 200 critically eight killed in the explosions. Thousands of Hezbollah members were seriously wounded. Thousands of Hezbollah members. It was in, they said one Reuters journalist themselves specifically saw 10 Hezbollah members bleeding to death from wounds. And they said that the pagers were known were owned by a number of workers in various Hezbollah units and institutions. And they exploded. And the detonations of these pagers used by the group killed some of their fighters. I just wanna know how this was carried out because it’s quite genius.
3 (7m 25s):
The Wall Street Journal reported that apparently hundreds of these Hezbollah members had these devices and they, what they speculated was that it was malware that caused them to heat up and explode. That is so genius and also terrifying. But that is so genius. I mean. Wow, they I mean. you know, you gotta protect your people. How you gotta protect it And Hezbollah’s like it’s a big security breach. No joke. Huh? they said that the biggest security breach, they’ve been subjected to I mean the, the, there’s video of it detonating. There’s some, there’s some, it’s a crazy story.
3 (8m 8s):
Kane I mean they’re, the photos are crazy. They ambulances rushing about everywhere. Lebanon’s Health Ministry urged health workers to head to hospitals. I mean they were all Hezbollah people. That’s the thing. They got hurt or blowed up. Kane, you’re, you’re gonna say something. So they
2 (8m 23s):
Weren’t, there weren’t explosives intentionally put in here. They were just the, they just were like, they,
3 (8m 27s):
You know, where they just heed
2 (8m 28s):
Along. They’re just like, here’s a program that will make the battery explode.
3 (8m 31s):
I’m not saying that I would like to know how that works, but you know. Right. Just curious. For a purely educational standpoint.
2 (8m 38s):
And that’s old tech. Yeah. Good lord. That’s, we’re doomed.
3 (8m 43s):
Why?
2 (8m 43s):
If we don’t get this government sized down and their involvement in everything, we’re doomed. Wait minute.
3 (8m 48s):
Why are you talking about us being
2 (8m 49s):
Dod? ’cause how many, how many different battery things do you carry around with you? Like obviously your phone, you have your watch right?
3 (8m 57s):
But I don’t carry anything on my person.
2 (8m 58s):
You don’t have your watch on. Oh, I
3 (9m 0s):
Do. Yeah.
2 (9m 1s):
You gonna blow your wrist off?
3 (9m 2s):
Yeah, I do. Yeah. You’re making me wonder about that. Blow your wrist off. Could it actually heat up enough to do that? I, I’ll look like, I’ll look like something from Tropic Thunder.
2 (9m 11s):
I didn’t intentionally share these videos with Juan. There’s the one in the grocery store where you see one exploding off a guy’s hip and he just goes down his leg, looks all mangled
3 (9m 20s):
Up. Yeah. I never wear my phone on my person like that. Like ever.
2 (9m 23s):
No. I carry it in my pocket like that. Yeah,
3 (9m 24s):
You do. You do. Dudes do chicks don’t, I don’t think
2 (9m 28s):
I even like when driving have it right between my Oh my gosh.
3 (9m 31s):
You keep your phone there when you’re driving. Well,
2 (9m 33s):
Yeah.
3 (9m 34s):
I totally do not, I don’t like having loose things by me in a car. I
2 (9m 39s):
Mean, I’m really rethinking that right this second. Yeah. But yeah, I’ve done that. See,
3 (9m 43s):
This is where all my little weirdo ticks come in, come into play. It’s like, it’s like signs right at the very end of signs. Don’t sit here and be like, spoiler alert, this movie’s been off forever. It’s not my problem. At the very end, the little girl that has water everywhere i’s gonna watch it too. It all of a sudden all makes sense. The, the cups of water everywhere. And Mel Gibson’s looking around and it’s like, you know, he’s, he’s, he’s processing this. He sees the reflection of the alien and the television, which was genius. It’s such a genius movie. And he sees all these, you know, half drank cups of water and it’s all making sense. And he sees the bat on the wall. you know, you tell him to see and swing Oh. my gosh, it all makes sense. I feel like that’s me with all my weirdo ticks. Like, you know, I don’t carry my phone on my person.
3 (10m 23s):
don don’t like having bulky items on me like that except for a gun because I just don’t, I don’t want it on there. I don’t, I don’t like to carry other stuff like that on me because I only want only my gun. I don’t wanna have to worry about anything else falling outta my pockets or anything else like that. So I just don’t carry those items on my person. And also I feel weird about it. Like, don don’t even like holding up the phone to my head. don don’t even like that. Right? Curious Oh man. I’m like earbuds and all this kind of stuff.
2 (10m 47s):
Yeah. I’m curious. Are the batteries that we have now, like I can
3 (10m 49s):
Watch these videos all day. Not even though
2 (10m 51s):
Way like in the iWatch and all of that. Like are they different than the batteries in that old tech? Because then the malware would have to be a little different to manipulate this. The batteries that are today, I would assume this, this is scary.
3 (11m 6s):
I mean, is it? I feel like we could already do this.
2 (11m 11s):
I mean I don’t have a pager or a flip phone. But the idea itself
3 (11m 16s):
Don’t, and don’t you feel like Hezbollah used pagers? So they Oh, so because they thought that would be safer. Yeah.
2 (11m 21s):
Like they couldn’t get tracked in this. Yeah,
3 (11m 23s):
We’re gonna be a lower grade tech. Wha wha not. No. That gonna happen. Passenger patients a one dude fell down like LeBron on the court. He just, he just went down. Did he really get that hurt?
2 (11m 33s):
I don know there was, I saw some video of a hospital. It’s like one minute of footage where they were going to bed after bed and all these guys have like holes in their sides and in their laps because they had these pagers in their pockets because
3 (11m 45s):
They were terrorists is why, right? Oh, I should warn people. It’s graphic. But how you’re watching my show,
2 (11m 49s):
Did you see the number of them? Apparently there was 2,500 of these explosions of which several of people died. And many, many more have like holes in them as they try to survive these injuries.
3 (12m 4s):
I mean that’s what happens when you’re a terrorist. When you go off and you do act. Those are, those are actual terrorists. Not like the terrorists that the left tries to act, you know, say exist here. No, these are, these are actual, actual terrorists. And that’s what happens when you’re a terrorist. When you do terrorist stuff, sometimes your pager might blow up. But you do bring up a good point with like the watch and all that stuff.
2 (12m 25s):
Yeah. And also this laptop I’m sitting in front of.
3 (12m 28s):
Yeah. Now I’m weird about, now I feel weird about my watch. I just like, I, I I but wasn, the one thing that I actually finally broke down and did was the watch.
2 (12m 37s):
I think it’s super convenient. It’s great for heart health. Yeah, it really
3 (12m 40s):
Is. but wasn when I had like a, a little health scare that turned out to be totally fine and I was like, oh, I can see the point of it. I was able to wore the watch because of that. Yeah.
2 (12m 48s):
I was able to accurately track my sleep and all of that as well.
3 (12m 51s):
Yeah. I don’t do that. don don’t wanna track my sleep.
2 (12m 53s):
I need to. I don’t get hardly any.
3 (12m 55s):
I can, I just say I will never under, I don’t, I just don’t understand the people who track their sleep and count every calorie and keep diaries of their stuff.
2 (13m 2s):
Yeah. No. Tracking sleep and counting calories are two separate worlds.
3 (13m 6s):
Those are two separate. Yeah. Those are just like, you’re giving yourself busy work. Why, would you do that work? It’s busy work. No, it
2 (13m 12s):
Isn’t. The watch is doing. I’m just wearing the watch.
3 (13m 14s):
Like I, you just know what time you’re gonna go to bed. Like, okay, I’ll get this amount of sleep. I know it takes me 20 minutes to fall asleep.
2 (13m 18s):
Tell that’s so cute. That’s so cute. You just gotta bedtime and you go to bed and go to sleep.
3 (13m 23s):
No, no. I take melatonin. No, believe me. ’cause I am super, I get super hyperfocused on stuff. I have a whole nighttime routine. It is an hour long ritual that I do every night before I go to bed to unhook my mind from everything that I do during the day. I have to do it. ’cause if don don’t do it, guess what? Ain’t nobody going to bed. I, that’s how that works. You
2 (13m 40s):
There? But I’ve seen your 2:00 AM messages.
3 (13m 42s):
That’s when my, my rituals interrupted kae. So nobody goes to bed.
2 (13m 47s):
That’s saying that’s why I try. I have to get an X amount of hours or real. So I cannot function mentally. Yeah.
3 (13m 52s):
But when I do, when I am, like I can go to my whole point. I just can’t, I can’t stand wearing jewelry and watches and stuff going to sleep. How do people do that? How do you wear a watch when you go to I don’t want anything that’s like notice monitoring me when I’m sleeping. I don’t want anybody to know what I’m doing. Just not that anything’s happening. I just shut up. I’m just like with trying to sleep,
2 (14m 11s):
I sleep with the phone in the other room. But I’ll have the watch on and there’ll be nights where don don’t have the watch.
3 (14m 15s):
What in the world do you do? Why do you sleep with your phone in the other room?
2 (14m 17s):
Because don don’t wanna be around it when it’s charging or doing whatever. But you sleep
3 (14m 21s):
With a watch on.
2 (14m 22s):
Yeah. So it can track the data. Heart rates,
3 (14m 24s):
You’ll just get a little radiation. Sleep much sleep. I’m getting just a little bit’s. Okay.
2 (14m 27s):
Getting core type sleep or REM
3 (14m 29s):
Type sleep. I don’t do that. I don’t care about any of that stuff. I don’t care. I don’t care about any of it. I really don’t even care. Like, you know what, our old in the olden days, the olden days, people didn’t need any of that. you
2 (14m 40s):
Know? That’s very true. Sleigh. Except this is the Newman time days, the new days.
3 (14m 46s):
I I don, I, I’m, I’m getting any of that. We got done more on the way As, we rolled awards. Gen X. Yeah. Gen XI just, you know, I don’t need that. That’s busy work. It’s busy work.
Hillsdale College (14m 59s):
Hi, I’m Matthew, a theater major at Hillsdale College. Here’s Hillsdale president Dr. Larry Arn with a Constitution Minute, the Great Abraham Lincoln described the constitution as a picture or frame of silver, built a guard to protect an apple of gold. This apple of gold was the Declaration of Independence and its principle of equal rights for all. This principle of equal rights, Lincoln said, clears the path for all, gives hope to all and by consequence, enterprise and industry to all. There are many today who seek to limit or distort this great principle by employing a distorted definition of equality and equality of condition or outcome regardless how people live their lives. This distortion, if generally accepted, will lead to an America less prosperous and less free. To learn more and get a free pocket constitution, visit Constitution Minute dot com. This Constitution Minute was furnished by Hillsdale College.
2 (15m 57s):
And now all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s quick five.
3 (16m 2s):
This is a news, but it is a news flash. I’m wearing the baggy jeans today and I feel like I hate myself. and I wanna throw myself off the roof because they’re baggy jeans and they’re not black stove pipes. Straight legs. So there you go. Right there. You don’t care. I do. So that’s why I just set it on air in headlines. Do I care about Puff Daddy? I don’t care. Throw him off a cliff and be done with it. Right? Oh, give him his due process. Wa wa we know he did it. He is on the, but he got arrested in Manhattan for being a dirty perv, a dirty human trafficking pervert. I mean, I don’t know. I’m immediately gonna suspect you if you call your name p If you say your name’s Puffy, then you call yourself P Diler and then you, or be Pete. He is, he’s the diler. That’s his, that’s gonna, you know what?
3 (16m 42s):
That’s gonna be his newest Marvel character. It’s the Diler. He’s gonna go quick. but he was arrested in a sex trafficking probe. and I I mean isn’t this kind of obvious, like everybody, there were rumors about this for a long time, right? I mean usher even, you know, otherwise it doesn’t have anything to do with the economy. If he’s a criminal, throw him off a cliff, convict him, throw him off a cliff, you know, be done with it. Let’s go on Jane’s addiction. Perry Farrell issued a statement. So they canceled their whole tour if he liked Jane’s addiction. And Perry Farrell spoke out about it. He’s taken, he’s been a big boy and taken responsibility. He said that he apologizes to his band mates, particularly Dave Navarro.
3 (17m 24s):
And he said that, you know, he was, he apologized for it happening. He apologized to the f to his fans and he said, you know, my breaking point is inexcusable and I take accountability for how he chose to handle so good for him. He took it. I hope he gets whatever help he needs. It’s just sad. It’s sad to see never meet your heroes. Although I never met him and he is never been a hero. Let’s see, hun. Is it Hyundai? Yeah. Okay, because I have certain family members that say Hyundai and I just, it confuses me. Hyundai pauses ads on X because they’re giant female atory organs. If Elon Musk doesn’t bend a need to speech censorship, then they’re like, oh, he’s creating a Nazi hellscape. That’s what X is. You realize that they’re bouncing accounts that, that are in violation of the, of the terms of service as soon as they see them, right?
3 (18m 9s):
It’s not, they’re, they don’t, they have to be made aware of them and then they do it. But because it’s not done before, the person offends the left is using that as justification for claiming that they’re like promoting and nurturing a Petri dish of Nazi social interaction. So they had a Hyundai ad that appeared next to a rando who posted stupid. He was probably a rando troll who posted Hitler content and there was a Hyundai ad that appeared next to it and now everyone’s freaking out about it. And all of the people who hate Elon Musk and hate speech are trying to, they’re putting pressure on Hyundai to drop any ad association with X and I. Just think that all of you people need to shut up. I’m so done with it. Like, stop it. Like, you know what, they’ve done more to curtail this than the secret service have done to curtail presidential assassins.
3 (18m 53s):
So stop. Let’s see. Several dead after trying to cross the English channel. Why Why would you do it? Why, would you cross it? Stormy weather, choppy water. Why? Eight people. They were trying to call across the channel from France to England and they said that, and Of course, they were people who were trying to claim asylee. You’re not a, you’re, you’re an illegal immigrant. You’re not, not everybody can claim asylum. And the Norfolk Southern CEO was fired over an office relationship. Speaking of Diler, he’s married, he had an inappropriate relationship with an employee. So, he was big pimping in his big OCEO office and he was ended up, he ended up being fired. So, you know what? I just don’t, don’t mess where, where he gets your bills paid.
3 (19m 34s):
Just don’t we got more on the way. Stick with us. The gender neutral submarine. Can we, can we just touch on that real, real quick? The hell does that mean? I almost said the most inappropriate joke on air that I would’ve gotten fired for and I didn’t. So
7 (19m 52s):
But where are the reproductive parts of a submarine?
3 (19m 55s):
Stop it. It’s just the frank, the beans don’t come with it. Oh yeah, the beans have been removed. It’s just the franc. So, and it’s inverted. So it’s gender neutral. Ah, I don’t know. It makes, it’s the USS New Jersey. It’s a fast attack. Virgin Virginia class submarine. 135 Navy personnel. It’s the fir it’s the first US submarine built for both genders. Okay. I am gonna need a moment. It’s designed to fully integrate male and female sailors. Is that a problem? Like, I just think, can I be real? I’ve known women that’ve gone into the Navy.
3 (20m 36s):
They don’t GAF. Okay. They don’t need a boat for their la for ladies. They don’t need a lady boat. you know what I’m saying? Like, they don’t care because they’re, they’re the type of women who just wanna go kick ass. That’s all they wanna do. They don’t need no lady boat. That’s a distraction. They just, those are the chicks that wanted TCB. Why do you like acting? you know how sexist it is to act like, oh well there’s the women in the Navy, guess we gotta make a lady boat. Gotta make a boat for the ladies. Gonna put these cup holders in it. You get lighted vanity mirrors, ladies.
2 (21m 12s):
For real? But these ladies have testicles or no,
3 (21m 16s):
I just feel like they don’t care. I mean I don’t wanna speak for women in the Navy, but you know, I feel like they just, the women that I have known that have been in the Navy, they don’t care about this stuff. And out of none of them do. They don’t care.
2 (21m 29s):
Yeah. Of those women. I’m not questioning them. I’m
3 (21m 32s):
Questioning Oh, you mean like questioning these types of women? Yes. Call, Me, Miam, those types.
2 (21m 35s):
I’m questioning if this idea was born of ladies with testicles being offended that they’re not being called ladies.
3 (21m 44s):
You mean men?
2 (21m 45s):
Yes.
3 (21m 46s):
So they said that the navy, when it lifted its wit ban on women in submarines in 2010 concerned about living quarters being too tight, lack of privacy prompted the navy to retrofit subs and designate washroom. The USS New Jersey was designed for two agendas from the outset with the accommodations like increased privacy in the washrooms and sleeping areas. I just feel like if you’re gonna go into that, you kind of gotta know that this is part of the territory, right? Access to top bunks and overhead valves are also designed with height, reach, and strength of women in mind. Oh, so we’re making things easier to open for the women. Yes. This, this jar head to this nuclear sub, to this new right here is gonna be easier for you to access you dumb weak women means it could fall out.
3 (22m 26s):
I’m I don Dunno. Have you, when we went on a tour of the, some of the submarines in Hawaii, we were at Pearl Harbor. There was literally one bunk over where the warhead was. There’s a dude who slept atop of a nuclear warhead back in the day just saying they’re built different. I don don’t know. I, the nuclear powered submarine was officially nicknamed Jersey girl. Its interior spaces are decorated with posters and memorabilia representing the state, including a guitar signed by John Bon Jovi. Well, if you hate Bon Jovi, you’re in hell. You can’t get away. You’re gonna be in the Bon We’re here, I’m in the Bon Jovi ship going down in a place of glory.
3 (23m 8s):
No, it’s 377 feet long. 34 foot beam. But does it have light vanity mirrors though? Am I I just, why does it, why do they need to do this?
2 (23m 20s):
I still don’t understand how it’s different. Like how would it be so different that now women and men could be on there?
3 (23m 28s):
It’s like that a man, it’s a boat for a man and a woman can Oh. my gosh, I don’t know guys, are
2 (23m 38s):
The washing machines bigger?
3 (23m 41s):
Don don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know what it is. don don’t know, but they, yeah, that’s, is it a big deal? I don’t think it is. No, I don’t. I I just dunno why they gotta do this. Gonna retrofit this road. Let’s just get it. You don’t need to do any of that with high for women. Isn’t it already pretty tight quarters in there? Do you really need to lower anything or make anything more like adjust anything for its height for women because it’s pretty cramped in there. And that and those and the subs that I’ve been in to tour I mean don don’t know. These were olden days subs. I don’t know if they’re, are they like bigger now? don? Don’t know. But it just,
9 (24m 15s):
I’ve never fit in any sub I’ve ever
3 (24m 17s):
Taken. I got a little claustrophobic, I gotta tell you. Going through ’em, I was just like, whew. It’s a little tough.
1 (24m 25s):
Thanks for tuning into today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.
The Three Martini Lunch (24m 41s):
Kamala Harris lies in the debate a lot, but successfully gets Trump off message. Trump misses tons of opportunities to expose Kamala’s failed and radical record, and the moderators made it very clear who they support. I’m Greg Rumbas. Join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad, and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the three Martini lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
