Join us as we dissect the various LOL-worthy and thought-provoking episodes making headlines. A Florida man gives a whole new meaning to birthday celebrations with his bizarre train theft & music blaring antics. We delve into the staggering decline of city-run grocery stores in Kansas City, confronting the bare shelves and foul smells that plague them. Additionally, we consider the generational shifts in job hunting tactics, contrasting the hand-holding approach of some Gen Z job seekers with the independent hustle of previous eras. Ending with an audacious debate over an online uproar surrounding a cliff jumping dad and his
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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
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All right, so this is a big headline. It’s a lot to put on the plate. It’s like when you’re at the buffet and you’re getting stuff on your plate. You’re at the cookout and you’re getting all the stuff and you got to get the potato salad. Then you got to get, I mean, it’s a lot on the plate. So here it is. Ready? Florida Keys man marks birthday by doing meth, stealing conch train, picking up riders, fighting with cops. Happy birthday to him. Yeah, like it’s one way to celebrate your birthday, I guess. They found him at the southernmost point buoy. He told officers, oh, wow, he looks crazy. By the way, the conch train is literally like a little train. He stole it. It’s a little… train that’s like a little scooter, like glorified golf carts all linked together and dressed up like a train. And it says Conk Train on it. It’s one of the very famous little vehicle. He faces three criminal charges. Jonathan Patrick Winslow. He’s 57 years old. And he went to the Conk Tour Train Depot, stole it, and they tracked it because it’s not like it can go that fast. And he was also, quote, running it with rock music playing. So the little train that you’re watching that Juan’s showing you on the simulcast, he was blaring music and running around the keys with that. So that’s what he had. So anyway, he picked up passengers, like random people, while driving it. I guess they had no idea that the guy driving it had stolen it. And when he finally was pulled, when they finally detained him, they said he exhibited rabid speech and appeared excited. Of course, I would be, too, if I was driving the train. And then they said he was going to face charges because he stole it. And he was like, I just borrowed it. Ossifers just merely borrowed it. So then they found a crack pipe on him. He told them it was a weed pipe or I guess a meth pipe. I don’t know. And they’re like, I don’t think you use that to smoke weed, but okay. Anyway, so he’s in jail, $60,000 bond. He has not bonded out. I told you it was a lot.
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We saw his photo, right? It looked like he got tased. Do you see his hair?
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah, his hair. Or he went to the magic house and put his hand on the thing. Maybe it was the breeze from the conch train that was blowing through his hair. I don’t know. Okay, speaking of… Oh, boy. A visibly highly intoxicated man was arrested after he threw a concrete pipe and a machete. Again, another machete at a victim. Edwin Watts, 71 years old. There he is right there. He looks like a sad prospector. Bless him. Bless his little heart. I hope he gets the help he needs. But he got charged with all kinds of stuff. He… I don’t even know where to start with this. He threw everything, literally everything but the kitchen sink, concrete, metal pipes, threw a whole machete at a dude. And this was in Marion County. They were called to a home over a physical disturbance. And they said that Edwin Watts was seated on his red ATV at the entrance to the property. He made an inappropriate hand gesture and blah, blah, blah. Basically, the guy was drunk as a skunk, noticeably agitated and acting aggressive. He has no prior battery convictions, but he’s in the pokey on a slew of charges. Oh, let’s see. Let’s do the guy who got super drunk and drove into a sheriff’s pond, if we have time. Do we have time? We may. Drunk Florida man. His wrong exit, he literally drove into a pond behind a sheriff’s substation. Oh. It’s in Homestead. He’s from Homestead. And he was apparently definitely under the influence. And he drove his truck into a retention pond right behind Martin County Sheriff’s Office traffic division. So the pond arrested him. Did you know the whole higher thread count means better sheets thing is just a myth? Kind of like thinking that cold weather gives you a cold or that we only use 10% of our brains. The real secret to great sheets isn’t thread count, but thread quality. That’s why you’ll love Bull and Branch. They use the highest quality organic cotton threads, so their sheets are not only soft and luxurious right out of the box, but they actually get softer with each wash. The first night you’ll try them, you’re going to feel the difference. It’s like climbing into a five-star hotel bed every night, and your sleep will never be better. I mean, I’m not going back to my old sheets. If you’re ready to upgrade your sleep, Feel the difference an extraordinary night’s sleep can make with Bull & Branch. Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at bullandbranch.com slash danashow. The real secret to great sheets isn’t thread count, but thread quality. It’s bullandbranch.com slash danashow for 15% off and free shipping. If you’re ready to upgrade your sleep, feel the difference an extraordinary night’s sleep can make with Bull & Branch. It’s bullandbranch.com slash danashow for 15% off and free shipping. Exclusions apply.
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Democrats say gerrymandering’s horrible, so of course they plan to do a lot of it to save democracy. Another government-run grocery store is a very expensive failure, big surprise. And there’s a huge divide between Republicans and Democrats over whether America is worth celebrating. And of course it’s the left that says no. I’m Greg Karumbas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad, and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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It’s clear this Sunfresh at 31st and Prospect is struggling. This is the first section people see when they come in. There’s barely any produce. A lot of the coolers and shelves around the store look the same way, empty. So shoppers have been asking us, if the store isn’t closing, then where is all the food? A rotten smell comes through the door and anywhere you turn, you’ll see products that need to be restocked. No hot food or deli. I watch people walk in and walk out.
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The grocery store has received financial assistance from the city, but has been unable to keep those shelves stocked in an area that in the past has often been referred to as a food desert.
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Around here, a good thing don’t last too long. It will impact a lot of people and a lot of families. The city owns the Linwood Shopping Center. A non-profit operates the grocery store.
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What does his shirt say? I need to go back and have a freeze frame on that feller’s shirt. Juan, if you’d be so kind. The man’s shirt who said, from the gutter to the butter. What? What is that? What is that? What does that shirt mean?
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From the gutter to the butter, you… What does that say at the bottom?
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You… I don’t know. What is that?
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Steve was the one that told us.
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Steve, what’s his shirt say? Steve was like, you guys need to watch his shirt.
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We ran the clip. We always discussed what was the clip to run. And I was like, just pay attention to this guy’s shirt from the gutter to the butter.
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From the gutter to the butter.
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It started from the bottom. Now we’re here. You’re in the gutter. Now you got the butter.
SPEAKER 01 :
Right. I kept thinking there was going to be something. I was like, oh, I think I see butt. And I just was like, man, this is going to be one of those stories where we got it’s going to be something inappropriate. I’m just saying, like, that’s the shirt. I mean, you know, you know, they ask you in advance if you want to be on camera, you know, when they show up and do this stuff. I mean, good for him. I mean, if he made some of himself. But, you know, I’m just at least if you’re going to wear a shirt like that, don’t cover the bottom with your hands. Because then we’re going to be all doing this. Like, wait, what does this shirt say? What does that say? Because it almost looks inappropriate. And you’re on, like, you’re on TV, man. And it’s a story that’s going to go national because of what they’re talking about. I really want to know what the… Cain, look at… Not that I care. I don’t need people Googling it on.
SPEAKER 07 :
No, it’s actually lyrics from Old Goody Mob from 1998, back in the late 90s.
SPEAKER 01 :
Oh. Got a butter. All right, there you go. Interesting. All right, so welcome… Back to the show. That’s how. And that, by the way, was. I mean, of course, Lorraine found the shirt. Yeah, she did. She literally found it already a minute ago. She’s a robot. She’s like, wait, here’s the shirt right here. I got it for purchase. If you want to.
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So that’s what the shirt says from the gutter to the butter.
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You make the choice.
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The choice.
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Good for him. There you go. That’s hysterical. All right. So this was what city? This is in Kansas city.
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Hold on. I’m ordering a shirt.
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Are you serious?
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What?
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You’re ordering the shirt right now. This was in Kansas city. All those store shelves were bare. Can I get a shot of the store shelves real quick? City funded grocery store. It’s a city funded grocery store. And I have never seen, I have never seen, that’s a store that’s like open. I have never seen, uh, I have never seen shelves like that. That’s crazy. Look at that. There’s nothing in the middle. There’s nothing in the end caps. There’s nothing. There’s no fruit. There’s no onions. There’s no nothing. There’s nothing on them shelves. And it’s a city. What is it? The sun fresh. And they’re saying it’s in decline. Well, you think it’s in decline? It’s already failed. It wouldn’t even open that long, honestly. So this sun fresh market. They’re still going there, but I don’t even know what you can… I don’t even know. Is that a kumquat at the bottom?
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This is one of Mom Donnie’s desires for New York.
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Well, I’m getting there.
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Oh, sorry.
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I’m getting there. They have not stocked vegetables or eggs in two weeks. Empty coolers. And they said everyone said it smells rotten when you walk in. And apparently they say it goes through ups and downs. So, like, within a 30-day period, like, they’ll get stuff in and then it just, they don’t have anything anymore and it’s, ugh. That’s what happens when you have a city-run grocery store. Who would have thought that would have happened? And you know what’s crazy? As Kane said, this is literally what Ma’am Dani wants. Socialized grocery store. That’s what you get with it. It’s like the DMV of the, it’s the post office of the grocery store. It’s the, that’s what it is. By the way, Our mail, it takes, if we send something to, like, Kane, if I send something from here to St. Louis, it takes a month to get there. I know.
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I know.
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It’s crazy. One of my kids that had her birthday this spring just got their birthday card a couple weeks ago. Not kidding. So this is, like, the USPS of the grocery stores. Wow. They said it smells like rotting corpses in there. Oh! How would you know what that smells like? But also, ew! Ew! Wow. Oh, that’s so bad. This is what they’re going to have in New York City. This is what they’re going to have in New York City. Well, the city runs it. So if the city runs it and it’s entirely, you know, they don’t have to be dependent upon, they don’t have to, they don’t have to ensure good customer service or anything like that because they don’t have to meet a specific standard. There’s no demand for that standard. Totally shocked. It’s already failed. When do they get more food in? I was trying to find that on social media and it doesn’t look like they’re going to get anything. I mean, food desert. We need food deserts. Or maybe you just, I don’t know, need to have an environment that grocery stores that already operate on tiny margins can actually operate in. It’s not the government’s fault. I love these people that, like it’s in downtown St. Louis. Let me just talk about downtown St. Louis. And I don’t want to hear no smack from nobody. My husband worked and he did a lot of historic renovation in St. Louis and built a studio. He got blacklisted in his industry by a bunch of jealous drug addicts who ended up… They were all Marxists. But… They ended up in St. Louis, a beautiful city like St. Louis is known as Brick City. I mean, a beautiful architecture that German wire cut brick, which is so valuable. And St. Louis made tons of it, exported it around the world. It’s incredibly valuable. People wanted they want to buy it. We lived in downtown St. Louis for a number of years because of work, homeschooled our kids. And I never understood why. The disconnect that people had. They all bitched and moaned about not having, like, a supermarket, supermarket downtown. You remember this, Kane. Like, the closest supermarket, when I lived downtown in St. Louis, was, I would have to go to, like, near the Bevo Mill area. I’d have to go down what, I can’t remember what highway that is.
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The Schnucks. Yeah, on 9th Street, they had a Schnucks there. And then the one you’re talking about is another Schnucks down there.
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But the one, but the, but it was a tiny, almost like wine and cheese supermarket. It wasn’t like a full-on supermarket. Yeah, you’re right. It’s where you would go if you were having some wine and cheese. Let’s maybe make some charcuterie and let’s get some hors d’oeuvres. Let’s do that. That’s the kind of store it was. There was one in Soulard that had a lot of stuff that they’ve closed. And I used to go there and get some things. It was a tiny little market. But people complain. Well, you know why? Because supermarkets already operate on such small margins. St. Louis had an earnings tax. They had all kinds of taxes, all kinds of fees, crazy structures that you had to you know weave yourself through in order to even operate a business in the area um and then you know the the property taxes everything else they made it so inhospitable and i just couldn’t get over the disconnect from the people that would joyously go and vote for the individuals that put up all these barriers to creating your wonderful supermarket in the middle of the city uh And then they would bitch about we can’t believe these people that said they were going to do all the stupid status stuff when they were campaigning and we voted for them are doing all this stupid status stuff. It’s like I voted for the leopards eating faces party and I can’t believe that these leopards broke into my house and they ate my face in my kitchen. Like they are shocked about this. It’s like, well, what did you think was going to happen? Right. You voted for this. You created this environment. It’s not a food desert. You are just a moron that votes for moronic policies and moronic status lawmakers. That’s what you do. Good night. So that’s, you know, it just blows the mind with all of this. They can’t, stores can’t stay open. They’re not there just to be charitable. It is a business. People work there. There are people that work to bring it, all of these things to you. The folks over at Kel-Tec, the PR57, it is their latest, one of their newest pistol chambered in 5.7. It’s a rotary barrel pistol. They’ve really figured out how to do the features to make it lighter than the other 5.7s on the market, easier concealability. And it’s a rotary barrel. Forty percent lighter than the other five sevens. Unique top loading design replaces the traditional magazines with stripper clips. You get a slimmer carry profile. Twenty plus one capacity. Low recoil for ease of use. Easy field strip as well. And it uses like I think it’s interesting how it uses the clips instead of the magazine. So the left can actually say clips and be right for once. MSRP is only three ninety nine. It’s the PR-57 rotary barrel pistol chambered in 5.7 from Kel-Tec, based in Florida, made in America. Learn more at keltecweapons.com. That’s K-E-L-T-E-C, weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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This is a wild one for me. It says Gen Z job seekers have their parents write their resumes and apply for gigs and bring them to interviews, according to a shocking new study. It is a report from resume templates, and they said that they were even shocked that 77% said they brought a parent to a job interview when they were job searching. What? What? I don’t get this. Really? Do you know anybody whose kid brought a parent to a job interview?
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No, I don’t personally, but I’m also not surprised to hear this.
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I am stunned. Okay, we’re bookmarking this. Wow. I’m actually stunned. Okay, so the Mount Fuji spotting place, their viral spot that everybody goes to take photos and there’s like a gas station right in front of it or like a quick mark. They have barriers now low enough to allow views, but they prevent dangerous behavior like jaywalking in the area. They said it’s become a huge tourist attraction because it It’s like just like the most picturesque spot. One of the best spots to get it. But there’s like this quick mart. Although a lot of people like the idea of the roof of the quick mart and the mountain over it. But they said they had to put because people were getting hit. We’ve been talking about this on and off for like two years. The spot they’ve been having so many problems. I had a friend that just went there and they said that it was so crazy. They were on their way somewhere else and they were driving by this. And they said it was so crazy. They just bypassed it. And they were there last month. They just bypassed it and just like went on through. That’s it right there. And then Mount Fuji is over the top of it. But yeah, that’s just wild. That’s wild. So they’re putting barriers in because, I don’t know, people want selfies and they want to get these photos and then they end up getting run over or fall off cliffs or something. I don’t know. A crew in Long Beach rescued a hiker trapped behind a waterfall for two days. He was treated for dehydration. Cain, what was he behind?
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A waterfall.
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46-year-old Ryan Wardell, he went into the seven teacups and he was going to rappel off the waterfalls in Kern County. But then two days he was gone and they deployed search and rescue and they found him stuck behind a waterfall. And he was dehydrated. And I’m like, I would have been drinking the water in the waterfall. But okay. All right. You know, each to their own thing. He’s safe now. He just, you know, is a little dehydrated. Canadian cities are canceling concerts of right-wing musicians. And I don’t care because it’s… I love my conservative Canadian friends, and I like some of your conservative lawmakers, but this is so stupid. I don’t even know who this musician is, but they canceled this guy because apparently he’s a Christian. Heaven forbid. They revoked his permit. Parks Canada revoked his permit in Halifax. They said safety concerns. Quebec City also canceled his concerts because they’re a bunch of sissies. Because the truth hurts people. It’s slappity-slaps, MK, and that’s what happens. It’s just so mean, the truth. Government forces Air Canada flight attendants back to work and into arbitration. Ooh, Delta and United Airlines can face lawsuits over windowless window seats. Don’t be selling people no window seats and there not being a window in that window seat. You know, people get very sensitive about that. Coming up, Kristen Whiten is going to join us to help break down, what does this mean, Article 5, like… So there is this article that I saw and I sent you guys this earlier. The headline over at New York Post, travel influencer faces backlash after he tossed his seven-year-old son off a cliff for fun. Oh, this sounds horrible, right? The headline sounds so bad. It sounds like he was at the Grand Canyon and just threw his son off a cliff. Wow. Garrett Gee, a former tech founder turned adventure journalist, posted a video on videos. Viewers were equally horrified and impressed. It had four million views. His seven-year-old son, they were on top. Oh, they were getting ready to jump into some water. Oh, okay. Well, it’s a good thing that the headline totally eliminated that as a possibility. It was at Lake Powell. That’s the reservoir between Arizona and Utah. And they were on a rock ledge and his son seemed a little apprehensive. But his dad had a hold of him and threw him into the water. And the son came up and fine. And then all the other kids were jumping in. And he said, eventually, Baby Eagle needs to leave the nest or be tossed out. And he like had this very, very ridiculously long disclaimer saying that this is not something I advise you try. We don’t do this with all of our kids. Every kid’s different. Blah, blah, blah. Because people are stupid. And I’m sorry. That’s not a cliff. That is not a cliff. It’s a rock. They’re on a boulder jumping into some water and people are losing their minds, losing their ever loving minds. No, they would have never made it in like the 80s. They would have never made it as like latchkey kids. Oh my gosh. You want to hear? Okay. Imagine it’s 1989. You’re in sixth grade. This might be about me, but or not. It’s 1989. You’re in sixth grade and you are leaving Black River in Iron County, Missouri, and you’re riding in the back of your uncle’s pickup. The little the doors down and you’re literally sitting on the edge of it on windy highway. You just shook your head. Yeah. No, the ledge was down. Yeah. We sat on the edge of it on windy highways. That’s how we dried off after we left the river. And we’d go back to grandma’s house, right? So we’re at Cambridge, Black River, at there all day, right? Family, you’re out there with your cousins. You know, people are listening to Skinner. They’re grilling, you know, doing whatever. And then everybody climbs in. All the kids get in the truck. The little ones got to get in the back towards the window. And then the older kids can sit, you know, on the end. And it took me a while before I could graduate and sit on that end, right? It was like a big deal. It’s like a rite of passage. And then Juan’s showing you the video. It’s a rock. That’s not a cliff. Anyway, 1989, riding on the back of the truck on these windy highways, on these windy country roads, going back to Grandma’s house. And that’s what we did. This is nothing. He jumped off a rock into the water. We would go and jump up. There was one thing, I think it was called Cutter’s Point. This guy, the last name of the family is Cutter. And they had a big… It was like this, but there was a rope swing on it and you could swing on the rope and launch yourself out into the water. We did that all the time. Why are people freaking out about this? They’re losing their minds. These people that are losing their minds over this, they would have died at how Gen X was parented. They would have died. That’s not a cliff. These are the people that freak out and they call the cops if they see somebody’s kid walking a block away from the house to go to the playground down the street. Yes, Kane.
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But at the Black River, there’s actually quote-unquote cliffs you can jump from that are taller than that one in that video.
SPEAKER 01 :
Oh, yeah, totally. Oh, my gosh. People would jump off the bridge. They would jump off K Bridge into the river, and it was way taller than that.
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That’s a boulder. Outrage online is more than exaggerated.
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These people are ruining children. You are destroying childhood, and you’re raising children that are terrified of the world. All they want to do is stay inside and talk to their little AI waifu. That’s all they want to do. They just want to stay inside. They want to talk to their… These people are happy if their kids just talk to AI companions, I guess. Right? I guess so. What did you do today? I was talking to my little AI waifu that looks like me. You saw from Death Note? That’s what I was doing. It does. That’s not a cliff. That is not a cliff. And this guy, I mean, people were losing their minds over and the kid could swim, by the way, really well. And all the other kids later on, like started, you know, jumping off the cliff as well as the cliff jumping off the rock as well. I mean, it’s a rock. These people have no idea what a cliff is. And I don’t know. I mean, it looked like fun, right? That looked like fun to me. Steve was like, the water’s gorgeous. It’s Lake Powell, my dude. It’s so fun out there. It looks so gorgeous, right? I’ve always wanted to go to Lake Powell ever since I saw, what was this, this movie? Oh, my gosh. Charlie Sheen was in it. I’m sorry, guys. Bear with me. It was like Ghost Car or something. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Sherilyn Finn was in it. It was an old movie, and I remember seeing it like one night. One of the cast of Vets was in it, too. Hang on. The Wraith! It was the Wraith. So the Wraith was set in Arizona and parts of it, like they were in and around like Lake Havasu. And then there was like some parts of Lake Powell. And I was like, that water is beautiful. Where is that? Gorgeous out there. It’s absolutely beautiful. So that’s where that is to answer Steve’s question. How fun does that look? I would go and do that now.
SPEAKER 07 :
Yeah, I would too.
SPEAKER 01 :
I mean, that’s like super fun.
SPEAKER 07 :
Also, is no one paying attention to the look on the kid’s face after he was tossed in the water?
SPEAKER 01 :
No, because everybody’s trying to flex.
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Because the kid was like, oh, it’s this fun. And you could see it on his face.
SPEAKER 01 :
He’s like, oh my gosh. He got over his fear and he was like, wow, that was fun.
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I’m discovering new fun now.
SPEAKER 01 :
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had uncles throw me into the water. Uncles, cousins. Like, yeah. And get over it. Kids do not need to be coddled. Look, what’s the phrase? Boats weren’t made for harbor. I mean, they can stay in the harbor, but I’m butchering this phrase, but you know what I mean. The harbor is safe, but that’s not what boats are meant for. So these are the people that freak out if, oh my gosh, if a 12-year-old has to stay for an hour or two. I stayed home all afternoon by myself when I was 12. Last key kid. There was a legal age that you could do it in the state of Missouri at the time. It’s just sad. It’s like they don’t want kids to have any fun at all anymore. And good for that dad. That dad’s involved in his kid’s life. That dad is helping his kid build confidence. I think that’s I thought that was a great video. I thought that was there was nothing wrong with that. And kudos to him for sharing and all the people that are freaking out over it need to go and touch grass. Oh, my gosh, their kids are going to be the ones that are going to be inside, you know, planning a mass murder with their AI way food. That’s what’s going to happen. Good grief. All right, we got more to come. And I don’t say not all tech kids are like that before the people weep and gnash teeth at me. Stop it.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
