In this episode of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, dive into the wild and often unbelievable stories coming out of Florida. From a woman charged with assault after threatening her family with a taser and a knife to fraudulent hurricane aid claims, the episode paints a vivid picture of the Sunshine State’s infamous reputation. These tales raise questions about personal responsibility and the societal factors at play in these dramatic occurrences.
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. Sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 05 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 02 :
I’m trying. Oh, man. I got to start with this lady. This Florida lady. We got some of them today. All right. So this chick is… Man. I’m going to make sure we get her beautiful visage and slack, guys. Hold up. We’re going to need it. She faces assault with a deadly… Yeah. Faces assault with a deadly weapons charge after a domestic… Everyone is not… Right? Oh, my gosh. I never thought anything would make me not like ham. A woman faces assault with a deadly weapons charge after domestic disturbance involving threats with a taser and a knife. According to Coral Springs Police Department, this beautiful woman named Cheryl Hyatt officers responded to a residence. There was a confirmation between family members, including some death threats. And the 61-year-old woman, Cheryl here, she was irate because her daughter said she wanted to go and live with her dad. And then it got crazy. And then apparently little Miss Cheryl here retrieved a taser and a knife and pointed the taser at her daughter and her and 90-year-old mother and asked, who’s first? Dang. Upon arrival on the scene, the Coral Springs Police Department did recover a pink taser and a kitchen knife near Hyatt’s wheelchair inside the residence. CSPD report indicated that video evidence was provided by the victim, showing Hyatt shouting, quote, I have a taser. I have pepper spray. Who’s first? Yeah, that didn’t didn’t go real well. And they yeah. Let’s see here. I guess they really want me to read this one because it’s in here twice. A Florida woman. Oh, man. So she tried to defraud over hurricane aid. Right. According to police, a 44 year old woman was accused of using her mother’s identity to apply for hurricane aid. And when she was questioned by Bradenton City employees as to why she looks so much younger than the much older woman in the photo ID, she said it was because of Botox. Girl. Veronica Torres was charged with third-degree felony count of filing a false public assistance claim after she applied for and received almost $8,000. She used her mom’s ID name and social security number to file the assistance claim and saying that she was forced to move out of her home due to hurricane damage. But the employee, if you could imagine, did not buy her explanation of Botox as to why she suddenly looked like almost, you know, 20-something years younger. And, yeah, so she posted a $2,500 bond, and she’s going to go to court, so she’s just bonded out right now. Man, I tell you what. Ooh. This Florida man was arrested after he was pretending to be a police officer, an undercover police officer, to avoid a background check. William Milstead, 64, was also, this is not the first time he’s done this, not the second time he’s done this, also not the third time he’s done this. 64-year-old Mr. Milstead. He did this again in 2002 and 2016. Dude, he looks like somebody who would do this. His mugshot is entertaining to me. He was arrested after a real estate agency reported that he was attempting to lease a residential property without undergoing a background check. He said that he was an undercover agent working off-grid, which is why he could not participate in your particular background check. And then he produced a letter from, apparently, the assistant captain of their, quote, off-grid command unit, which, you know, that’s not what it’s called. And it had numerous grammatical spelling and punctuation errors in it. Not even… Literally, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, they… He’s got 13 prior felony arrests. And, I mean, he just – yeah, so he’s in St. Lucie County Jail. His case is still being investigated. He posted an $11,000 bond, and he was released just a couple days ago. My gosh. Why do people do this, thinking that they’re going to get – I don’t know. Also, this – Oh, man. Tomorrow, I’ll tell you about the it’s a villager story. A couple who got into a fight because the woman who was reading her Bible was tired of her husband going for the rum and she poured his rum out. And oh, boy, that’s tomorrow. Welcome back to the program. I’m in this mood right now. Actually, I’m in the mood of do I want to be starting something right now or do I not want to be starting something? I think I do. Yeah, yeah. I do. I really do. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, this was in my head because I heard this Marjorie Taylor Greene audio, and I need to inject it into my veins because it’s hysterical. She’s a trip.
SPEAKER 04 :
Really? Yeah. The new chick with a dick in Congress. What are we going to do to keep him from coming in our bathrooms?
SPEAKER 02 :
Now people are like, that’s in bad taste. Is it, though? Can we just have a little conversation about that? Now, here’s why I’m and I had this down later in the show, but I wanted to do it now. Here’s why I bring this up, because there’s this big fight that started yesterday because there is a dude who is in Congress and he is a dude who is identifying as a chick, much in the same way that me, Dana Lash, would identify as a billionaire. Right? I can identify that, but it doesn’t grow money into my bank account. And this dude can identify as it, but it does not grow what rhymes with schmagina. All right? So I’m being very sensitive for our sensitive ears out there. I did. Notice how I didn’t have the hard V, Cain. Did not do that. No pun intended. So… The Democrat senator, this one is the first transgender member of Congress to serve on Capitol Hill, and he goes by the name of Sarah McBride. And this, let’s see, was a Democrat state senator and then became, now went to Congress. And so it’s like a big deal. They’re saying it’s a very big deal that this person is the first. I don’t know why that’s important. And everyone’s saying that it’s bullying. Oh, why are you such a bully? And Newsweek had a story, Marjorie Taylor Greene misgendered. It’s not misgendered. Look, you don’t get to just change, magically change your chromosomes. You don’t – you’re not the lord. You don’t get to speak things into existence, OK? You don’t just get to go, I own my own private tropical island and – It apparates into some ocean somewhere. It’s not how that works, right? You don’t get to speak it into existence. You can say something and maybe you think it’s true, but for the rest of us, tis not. So case in point, the Sarah McBride. So Marjorie Taylor Greene, after that soundbite, they said she repeatedly misgendered, misgendered I want to misgender your face. I just am so tired of this. It’s not misgendered. It’s a proper. This is you’re not going to sit here and lecture a woman as to how she can refer to a man because this is it’s a man. It’s a man. And you don’t get to control her language. And we like science, right? We do like science. So they said they said that, oh, she referred to Sarah McBride as a man and he multiple times because he’s a dude. That’s why. And so now they’re attacking, they’re mad at Marjorie Taylor Greene. Now the bathroom thing came about because now he, I guess, wants to use some of the bathrooms there. He has got a bathroom in his own office. I’ll call him Sarah if he illegally changed his name Sarah, but I’m not going to have the patriarchy and then the weak, ineffective matriarchy stand by and allow a dude to hijack women’s language. Oh, hell no. So he’s got an office or a bathroom in his office, but I guess they’re talking about some of these other congressional bathrooms. So Nancy Mace finally – I mean she proposed a bill, and she – the bill is making the bathrooms for women’s usage, which I’m totally fine with, and I think that that makes perfect sense. So Mace – It’s in this bill. They’re looking to attach it to the new House rules package, no pun intended, that they’re going to be voting on next year. And it would require the House sergeant at arms to enforce the rule. And McBride said that Mace’s effort is a distraction because that’s what progressive men do. They think that any kind of concern that women have are nothing more than distractions. And they said it’s a blatant attempt from far-right extremists. What? Women want to feel safe in the bathrooms. This is a blatant attempt by a far-left extremist to hijack women’s safe spaces. Nobody wants to drop trowel and have to do vulnerable business with a dude in the restroom with them. Come on.
SPEAKER 05 :
I have some audio of her, Nancy Mace, from five minutes ago on this very thing. Yeah, go ahead and hit it. All right, hang on.
SPEAKER 03 :
Being a feminist makes me an extremist. I’m totally here for it. Is this effort in response to Congresswoman McBride’s coming to Congress? Yes, and absolutely, and then some. I’m not going to stand for a man. You know, if someone with a penis is in the women’s locker room, that’s not okay. And I’m a victim of abuse myself. I’m a rape survivor. I have PTSD from the abuse I’ve suffered at the hands of a man. And I know how vulnerable women and girls are in private spaces. So I’m absolutely 100% going to stand in the way of any man who wants to be in a women’s restroom, in our locker rooms, in our changing rooms. I will be there fighting you every step of the way.
SPEAKER 02 :
Well, I mean, I don’t disagree with that. We don’t want men in our restrooms. We do not want men in our restrooms. And I don’t think dudes want women in their restrooms. I mean, let’s be real about it. I mean, I love you bros, but you know, your restrooms are weird.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yeah, get rough in there.
SPEAKER 02 :
I mean, you got like the urinal rule and weird cakes in there and all kinds of stuff. It’s weird. It’s not for women. It’s not for ladies. It’s not for ladies. I’m using my, that’s not for puppies voice that I use for WIC. That’s not for ladies. But it’s true. So, I totally agree with this bill. The left is mad and they’re saying it’s a distraction, etc. Yes, because women wanting to prioritize their own sense of security and safety is a distraction. And there you have it. That sums up the progressive patriarchy right there. There we go. We’ve been at least they admit it. I mean, this is how it’s been year in and year out. Going back to the time of Susan B. Anthony and beyond. This is the progressive patriarchy. Women, your concerns are distractions. We, the progressive patriarchy, are going to do what we want to do. And that’s exactly it. So I’m not, I don’t think that this is a distraction at all. They’re getting ready to actually go into Congress. But what gets me now is they’re mad at Marjorie Taylor Greene saying that, well, he’s, you’re misgendering him. No. No. Nope, that’s not a thing. That is literally not a thing. That’s something that you made up so you could try to find something, some victimhood to have access to. So no, we’re not playing that game. So there are a lot of people that signed on to this. Axios reported that Mike Johnson said it’s not being immediately dismissed by Republican leadership. Johnson said that they’re going to talk about it. We’re working on the issue. But apparently Democrats, they’re mad. Some broad name, Becca Ballant, who is the co-chair of this dumb equality caucus, said that the cruelty is the point. You mean the cruelty of forcing women to forego safety and security in their place of employment? That cruelty? The cruelty of demanding that women conform their language to suit that of progressive males? That cruelty? I mean, we could sit here and go on and on and on, but, you know, that’s up to you. That’s up to the left. Caltech P15. It stands for 15 P’s. These are standard capacity. For those of you who only speak Pig Latin, that’s Anderd Stay Opacity K. And the P15 from Kel-Tec is the lightest, thinnest double stack 9mm on the market. I don’t know how they made it. I just know that it exists. And I have it. I have both versions. They have the metal frame version, which has the walnut grip panels. Beautiful polymer version, gator grip texture. And it ships with two magazines. One’s the 15 round. minimal pinky extension the others the flush fit double stack magnet holds 12 rounds for ultra concealability tritium fiber optic front sight fully adjustable fiber optic two dot rear striker fire lifetime warranty i mean could it get any more compact no it couldn’t from the inventors of the micro compact pistol category it’s keltec innovation performance keltec learn more at keltecweapons.com that’s k-e-l-t-e-c weapons.com it’s the p15 tell them dana sent you and now all of the news you would probably miss it’s time for dana’s quick five I did our 12 o’clock headlines and 11 o’clock. Stress can scramble the brain so badly it can actually damage your memories or change your memories. According to a study from Toronto, it not only impacts your mood stress, but it fundamentally changes how your brain processes and stores stress. So people who deal with PTSD can actually be debilitating. But stress causes the release of, I’m not going to be able to say this, endocannabinoids.
SPEAKER 05 :
That’s exactly right.
SPEAKER 02 :
Is it? You know what that is? Of course you do. Kombucha tea. All right. Chemicals that normally help us form specific contextual memories. High amounts of the endocannabinoids disrupt the brain’s gatekeeper neurons, leading to the formation of overly large generalized memory engrams. Okay, well, basically it changes your memories. That seems about right. I can get into that. Yeah, I get that. So Trump actually is on his way to Texas. He is going to attend the latest SpaceX launch today. Okay. This is… I’m sure he’ll really enjoy it. You get to watch the chopsticks take off and land. It’s scheduled for 4 Central. It’s going to mark the sixth test launch of the company’s rocket, Starship rocket. And yeah, he’s already… I’ve seen photos of him already getting on the plane and heading down. So very interesting. He’ll like it. This… Pull this up. So doctors think that they have… cracked the mystery of like colon cancer. We were talking about colon cancer earlier, had another headline. They think it could actually maybe… I’ve seen everyone say, well, we’ve cracked the code, it’s pesticides. Or we’ve cracked the code, it’s antibiotics. Or I think it’s all of it and a more sedentary lifestyle. I think it’s all of these things and that. So, I mean, I think you don’t disregard these articles, but I think you just kind of keep that in mind with all of this. Let’s see. Oh, this is crazy. So Daily Mail had this story. A Chicago woman’s home was sold out from under her over unpaid property taxes after an insane mix up. She got a letter saying that her family home had been sold in a mix up claiming she hadn’t paid her taxes. Robin McElroy from the Morgan Park neighborhood was distraught. She said, I just started receiving letters from different tax buyers. She’d been making she’d like had receipts, though, of her paying her property taxes. And she says she had all the receipts and they said that there was that they finally did tell her that there were no grounds to proceed with the sale. But they I mean, how crazy is that? But apparently she got another letter five years later and they said that your above property has been sold. and she apparently they were even trying to get her for years of rent to the yeah that is crazy so you don’t really even own your own property though really did you guys see this with southern poverty law center southern poverty law center which is a hate group they decided to go after not the b which is the babylon b but it’s not it’s for news like not satire And this guy named Creed Newton, who says he’s a journalist, he’s not. He’s an activist masquerading as a journalist. So like Jamal Khashoggi, similar to that. He’s an activist masquerading as a journalist with the Southern Poverty Law Center. He goes on with their intelligence project. This is what he sent to Seth Dillon. He wrote, I’m writing to request comment for a story we plan to publish Monday. The story details your articles on NotTheBee.com. Planet Moron has maintained a separate web presence as a blogger for nearly 20 years, but since 2020 has written over 600 articles for NotTheBee. Exposed author information on NotTheBee’s source code indicates that Planet Moron UX, a blank instructor from blank, Planet Moron is a prolific writer on culture war issues. One article mocks transgender children as mentally ill tweens who are the economic lifeblood of the multi-billion dollar trans industry. Do you wish to comment? Well, yeah, first off, he’s right. They are mentally ill tweens and they are absolutely being exploited by equally ill or just evil adults who are trying to deform these children so that they can live out some sort of activist fantasy with their bodies. That’s exactly what it is. And he’s exactly correct. But furthermore, the idea that – let me tell you what Southern Poverty Law Center did in case you don’t remember. Back in – this was like 2011, 2012. There was this whole – it wasn’t even a debate. Someone got mad at Chick-fil-A. They realized Chick-fil-A, the owner, was Christian. And the activist alphabet people were all up in arms because they just somehow figured out that the owner of Chick-fil-A was Christian. You remember this came? So then they decided out of nowhere, they’re going to start boycotting Chick-fil-A. They’re going to go boycott Chick-fil-A and they’re going to get real mad. They wanted to do kiss-ins and all this stuff. And Chick-fil-A, because they were Christians, they were like, would you like some free water? We give everybody a cup of water when they come in. at least if they don’t buy anything. And so then the alphabet activists, not deterred yet, they’re like, well, then we’re going to drink all your water. But they couldn’t drink all Chick-fil-A’s water. So it kind of fizzled out because it was very stupid. But in the meantime, Southern Poverty Law Center – They noticed that Family Research Council, which is a Christian organization that promotes family, they were defending Chick-fil-A. And they’re like, why can’t the guy be a Christian? Let the guy be a Christian. If he wants to support traditional marriage, then whatever. He’s not demanding his employees follow his code of beliefs. And there’s not a code of conduct except say, it’s our pleasure. That’s it. And keep the bathrooms clean. And everything that they were accusing Chick-fil-A of doing, they weren’t actually doing. So Family Research Council was defending them. This made Southern Poverty Law Center mad. So they put out this hit map, what they called hate groups. So they had the map of the U.S. and then they had the location of all these hate groups. And they listed Family Research Council as one. Well, then a month later, as it was still raging, a guy named Floyd Corkins busts up into Family Research Council’s Washington, D.C. offices. opens fire, shoots a guard in the arm, and then he was overpowered by the security guard who took his gun from him. Cops show up, and the guy is now in jail for, like, I don’t know how many years. I mean, for a long time. He had 15 chicken sandwiches on him because his plan, as it came out during his trial, was to kill everyone at Family Research Council. And he had, like, a ton of sandwiches. And then shove the chicken sandwiches into the dead, gaping mouths of his victims. And then he was going to go target other conservative entities. All the entities were on Southern Poverty Law Center’s target map because when the authorities went to go search his house, his home, they found his computer and they found Southern Poverty Law Center still in the browser and that he was using their hate map to target everyone. Southern Poverty Law Center put a hit out on Family Research Council and almost got people killed. And now they’re trying to do the same thing to not the beat. using a pretend journalist who’s masquerading as a journalist, but he’s really a very anti-Christian bigot activist. So I asked on the internet, Creed Newton, I was like, are you trying to get people at Not the Beat killed, much in the same way that the Southern Poverty Law Center tried to get people killed at Family Research Council? And Southern Poverty Law Center was very upset. They were apoplectic that someone would dare mention their contributions to Floyd Corkins’ reactions. But When they were saying that, you know, the Chick-fil-A people and Family Research Council, when you’re telling people that they’re literally the devil and they’re out to kill your family. I mean, with people who are maybe not all there or who are super evil and looking for an excuse, you’re going to inspire something in them. I don’t believe that words are actionable unless they fall under the defamation, fighting words, libel, slander, all of that stuff. But let’s not play pretend. Let’s not act like Southern Poverty Law Center didn’t inspire an assassination attempt of literally everyone at Family Research Council. And had he not been caught and succeeded, he would have targeted other conservative institutions there as well. So who knows? I mean, he really didn’t. The saving grace was that he didn’t really know how to he didn’t really know how to shoot well. And that sounds harsh to say, but that’s what I mean, by the grace of God, that’s why no one was killed that day. And he that’s what he was going to do. And now Southern Poverty Law Center is attempting to do it again with not the beat.
SPEAKER 01 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
