SPEAKER 08 : 0:00

If you like what you hear and want to support the show, the easiest free way to do it is to follow the podcast and leave a rating and review. Seriously, 30 seconds from you helps keep this show going strong. I appreciate you.

SPEAKER 06 : 0:12

Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast.

SPEAKER 03 : 0:16

It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.

SPEAKER 08 : 0:26

All right, so… Oh, this is gross because the guy’s nude. A nude Florida man. He’s totally naked. That’s how you say that in southern Missouri, y’all. It’s naked. N-E-K-K-I-D. Naked. A Florida man stole some wheels at a university campus. He stole a vehicle at Bucknell University. Callum Dwyer, 20, was charged with felony unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, receiving stolen property. And also, I would add, if it were me, the extra charge of being gross. Because… He sat naked in the seat of the car. Someone has to clean that and then get in the car also to drive it. Would you sit in your vehicle if someone, if a naked dude stole your car and he sat in that seat? Would you sit in your seat after a naked dude had sat in your seat, Kane? I would set my car on fire sooner than I’d sit in that seat. That’s not going to happen. That’s nasty with a capital K. Nasty. He stole a white Audi Q5 and the victim said she had parked there when she went to get her vehicle. It was gone. And they saw the camera footage of a nude dude. Nude dude. He got he pulled on the vehicle’s door handles. He was able to break in. They were able to identify him and they took him into custody. He bails at five thousand, but I don’t think he made it. Oh, oh my gosh. It’s so gross. Like he was nude and probably touched everything in there. That’s nasty. I mean, you, I don’t like buffets and I don’t like naked people doing anything that’s outside of the show. No, don’t keep it in your house and don’t get in other people’s cars like that. That’s nasty. Because you know he probably wasn’t clean either. Cain hates old people. Listen to this. 85-year-old Florida man admits he knew he hid something. He was in a Publix parking lot and he ran over a 91-year-old woman. Oh my gosh. He didn’t. He’s 85 years old. He ran over a 91-year-old in the grocery store parking lot at St. Petersburg. And he said that he just kept driving home. He didn’t stop. He thought he said, well, I knew I had hit something, but he just chose to kept driving back home anyway. It happened about 5 p.m. And I can’t this is you wouldn’t stop that. That has to be a pretty significant. You know what I mean? Right. Police tracked him down using surveillance footage and witness reports. And he was driving alone. He struck this lady after she was walking through the parking lot. And he just kept on driving back to his apartment. Killed her. So that’s horrible. Her death, the Pinellas County Medical Examiner’s Office, if this website can stop having the godforsaken pop-ups that pop up every five seconds, I’ll finish the sentence. The coroner’s office, they said that injuries contributed to her death. That’s why she was killed, because her… Death was caused by her injuries from getting run over. How do you just keep going, though? I mean, man, I know what you’re saying, Cain. You and them old people. You know, maybe there’s something to it.

SPEAKER 05 : 3:36

The U.S. captures illegitimate Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro in a truly awesome military operation. Minnesota Governor Tim Walz abandons his bid for a third term as the fraud scandal engulfs him. And officials are caught rewriting the report on last year’s L.A. wildfires to make themselves look better. I’m Greg Karumbas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the 3 Martini Lunch podcast. We give you the top news, some good laughs, and we’ll be done in less than 30 minutes. Follow the 3 Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

SPEAKER 08 : 4:09

But we went and visited a church. And I’m going to warn you. I’m very old school about certain things. Certain things in church. I get very to the letter of Paul on a lot of things. And some of you know where I’m going on this. And I don’t really care if somebody gets offended or not because your problem’s not with me. It’s with the word. It’s with God. So, you know, take it up with him. That’s between y’all. But I’ll say this. We have been visiting some churches recently. To find a church home. And I don’t mean like shopping. I want a Bible-believing church. I want a church that is full of the Spirit, preaching from the Bible. We are Church of Christ. We’re non-denominational. So that’s where we’d like to stay. Well, we went and visited a church this weekend. And it was a church. I’m not going to say any. I’m not going to name-check anybody. But we went and visited this church. And it was someone that we used to go to church with that had recommended it. We get there. It’s a beautiful campus. I mean, it’s very new. It’s a beautiful campus. They had a water fountain. They had all kinds of stuff. Kane, it was fancy. Inside, it smelled like a retail store. Like, I think… They maybe had some kind of like scent that they were pumping through the HVAC. It smelled amazing and they’re clean like soap. It was so nice. I don’t know why that struck me. It was a little loud. The sound was loud. We come from a faith that. or a practice, I don’t want to say a faith, where, you know, church or Christ. So we come from a place where we don’t have a lot of the instrumentation because it’s, you know, lift your voices up and you’re active in the worship. I do get weird when there’s like a wall of instrumentation that’s so loud, you can’t even talk to the person next to you and you feel like you’re at a concert. I just got, I have some issues with that. But anyway, it’s a minor thing. We’re in there, and they had a great worship and praise service, and they were singing some old school songs that I remember when I was a kid. And we’re getting ready to settle in, and a woman comes up, and she’s talking about stuff. And I was assuming that this was going to be a female who is coming up. And is talking to us about maybe, I don’t know, VBS or maybe some of the women’s groups or something. And she kept going. And then she started in scripture and I realized, oh my gosh, she’s giving the sermon. Cain’s eyebrows just shot up over his Robert Evans glasses. She was giving the sermon and I sat there. Because I think that you either take some of the word or none of the word, or all of the word or none of the word. You can’t just like parse it out and take, I’ll just have a little bit of this word. I’ll have a little bit of this. You either take all of it or none of it. And I don’t support women pastors. I am very, again, if you take issue with me on this, then argue about it with God in Paul’s letters. Argue about it in the New Testament. I’m not going to. I there there is Deborah, there is Ruth. And I think that Christianity has done more than any other faith. Jesus was the first feminist. I use that word like almost kind of jokingly. The true equalizer and Christianity has done more to lift up women than any other faith and has has done so much for women. This women are called to certain things. Men are called to certain things. And I’m not going to argue about it because it’s just a just it is the word is what the word is. And I’m sitting there and there’s a woman pastor. You and I were raised very similarly. And I’m it just shocked me. And then she was giving a sermon on gossip and biblical law. And she kind of was participating in gossip while also giving the sermon about gossip. And I’m thinking, this is wow. This is all of we got up and walked out of the service. Now we had some family visiting with us. We were very quiet, but unfortunately I did not know that they were going to, you know, you’re visiting a church. I didn’t advance and make sure, Hey, you don’t gotta want, you know, I just didn’t think that was something I necessarily needed to do if it was a Bible believing church. And I was very shocked. We left in the middle of the sermon because I’m just not going to, I’m not going to sit there and listen to it. And it was so sad because there were so many young people there and they look like they had a great youth program and And I just was just, that’s a big thing to get incorrect, I think. And there’s always going to be something incorrect or something off. I’m not looking for the perfect church. I’m looking for a church that is in the Word, and I’m looking for a church that is of the Spirit and that has a heart for God and is not about trying to be of the world and meet the world in the world. You know what I mean? Be of the Word, not the world. And I felt… Like this was just more of that. Church is where you are. That’s where you go and you fellowship with believers and you are stepping out of all of the insanity of this world and you’re getting back to the purpose. I don’t want to see it portrayed on stage as part of a sermon. It’s not social experimentation. And it’s if the Bible I just I was so frustrated because I thought, you know, I was really kind of excited. Like when we walked in and I’m like, wow, this is great. And I was livid that it was a female. She was and she wasn’t the regular pastor. And that’s irrelevant. She was still up there and she was delivering a sermon. And I just had a major problem with that. I mean, the Bible’s pretty clear on things, and again, if people want to take issue with it, they can take issue with God. Your beef is not with me. I don’t know. Was that the right thing to do, Cain, to get up and leave?

SPEAKER 03 : 10:29

I would say so. I mean, everyone has their own convictions, but the reality is there are leaders that lead from a position that everyone would respect, and then there are female pastors. So that’s where I’m at.

SPEAKER 08 : 10:43

Yeah, it was it just I I was shocked because normally, you know, you have someone who gets up and they’re like, oh, yeah, and our announcements and the kids, you know, you know, going to kids church or whatever. She just stayed up there. And then she was at the the podium and then she was getting into scripture and then she started talking about gossip. And I’m just sitting here processing all of this stuff. And I just. couldn’t sit there, you know, we, our nephew was with us and he was like, well, I know that, you know, God knows that I know that this is, you know, incompatible with what, you know, his word in, in the gospels. So do I get up and leave or, and we were all of the same mind because I was like, nope, this is not, not what I’m, I’m, I’m not, I’m not going to exercise patience and wait for you to get some of the most basic things right because our lives are too short. The end. That’s just kind of how I look at it. And I know it’s there is a problem in the there’s a problem in the Christian church. And a lot of people are really they’re trying to water everything down and in the bid to make it seem like, oh, yes, come one, come all. You’re like throwing away some of the word to be of the world. And this is a problem.

SPEAKER 03 : 11:58

And now all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.

SPEAKER 08 : 12:04

So British aristocrat with ties to Churchill faces a choking charge. The Duke of Marlborough, who is a distant relative of Princess Diana, battled drug addiction and was disinherited by his father. I actually literally just watched a documentary on this. He’s been charged with choking someone. Charles James Spencer Churchill, age 70, was ordered to appear at the Oxford Magistrate’s Court on three counts of non-fatal intentional strangulation cane, according to the Thames Valley Police. The Duke, who is a distant relative of former Prime Minister Winston Churchill, has battled drug addiction. He was the Marquess of Blandford earlier. He’s kind of a partier. He’s got some issues. Issues, you could say. So I just thought that was interesting. Book data reveals that most readers quit almost immediately. They quit almost immediately. It was they call it the this. What is the stat? It’s a method that they have to exploit Amazon Kindle’s popular highlights feature, which shows the most highlighted passage in the book. And then if it’s spread throughout the text, it shows readers are apparently actually finishing. But they all cluster at the beginning, showing that people don’t they give up early. And apparently that’s like, wow. For instance, Hillary Clinton’s hard choices. Apparently, people only got their 1% of the book. They bailed immediately. Yeah. Fifty Shades of Grey was 25%. Okay. Okay. I don’t know, man. I don’t know. Let’s see. An arrest was made in the case of this dog found zipped in a suitcase and found inside of a dumpster. Can I just have 60 seconds in a locked room with the person who did it? A little pity named Benny was found by Everett Police in a dumpster in Washington. Obviously, she was neglected, had a rope tied around her neck. She’s adopted and made a full recovery in her forever home. They found the dude who did it. Please, 60 seconds in a locked room. I will pay you to do it. I will pay you for this, for this. I’ll take care of it for you. I’ll take care of your problem. Let’s see. Nope, I don’t need this story. Naked joyride. Cable car came to a halt in San Francisco, but they don’t describe what happened to it. It broke. You know, who wants to ride in a broke cable car? Nobody. Stick with us. Oh, my gosh. I can’t. I can’t. All right. I need to move and ask you guys a question. Would you eat this? Would you eat ice cream dipped in butter? Yes, I would.

SPEAKER 01 : 14:56

What?

SPEAKER 08 : 14:57

It’s a grocery chain. I don’t know why everyone in my life thinks that this is amazing. We’re showing you pictures of it now. It’s ice cream dipped in butter. It was a regional grocery store. They do butter dipped ice cream cones. Soft serve dipped in butter. And they said it’s insane. So it’s Someone said, we don’t even do that in Wisconsin. It’s would you like some butter on your butter? That’s kind of what I’m looking at that. How doesn’t it melt the soft serve? Hot melted butter?

SPEAKER 03 : 15:30

No, it’s like the same with the, you know how you get the chocolate dip and it hardens the shell because they use coconut oil on it? As soon as the temperature that the butter touches is cold, butter solidifies. And so it becomes this like little like crust, butter crust on the outside of your cone.

SPEAKER 08 : 15:50

I don’t know how I feel about this. It just looks weird. I don’t know if I would do that. I mean, it’s, that’s.

SPEAKER 03 : 15:56

I’ve tried this before.

SPEAKER 08 : 15:57

Do they never want to use the restroom again?

SPEAKER 03 : 15:59

I’ve tried, what?

SPEAKER 08 : 16:00

It’s going to clog you all up. I mean, you’re going to look like those people in WALL-E.

SPEAKER 03 : 16:05

I don’t think that’s how it goes. Juan’s over there.

SPEAKER 08 : 16:08

I would eat this. Juan even would eat this. Juan recoils against anything sugar like a vampire to light.

SPEAKER 03 : 16:16

Look, people think that beef tallow or butter, those are bad fats. We’ve been taught over the decades that those are bad fats. And in reality, it’s not. Now, obviously, sourcing is important. But yeah, where’s the butter coming from? But in reality, I would do this, and I’ve done it before. I’ve done it at home before. It’s pretty simple.

SPEAKER 08 : 16:39

I don’t know that I would do this. It just seems like immediately. All I hear is Wilford Brimley, diabetes. It’s all I hear.

SPEAKER 03 : 16:47

And it’s good when you use the salted butter. It actually gives it a nice salty, sweet, little savory flavor. I’m for this.

SPEAKER 08 : 16:58

I don’t know. Lorraine said Longest Yard. That’s one of the football movies. Isn’t there a sad one where a guy got his head knocked off and it rolled on the field? I don’t know. Something like that with James Caan in it. The football movie.

SPEAKER 06 : 17:08

Rollerball?

SPEAKER 08 : 17:09

No, it’s a football movie and he got hurt real bad and died. I don’t remember. He died. I don’t know. Football on the Danish show. Oh my gosh. Someone goes, you need to call plays and I don’t think that you don’t hate America that much for asking me to do that. Yeah, so chocolate dipped is good. Butter dipped?

SPEAKER 03 : 17:34

Yeah, it’s good.

SPEAKER 08 : 17:35

Remember those alien hybrids? I found another one. It’s all you people that like this. All right, we got to get moving. And Juan’s like, well, how is it different from a cake? Because it’s not a cake. It’s different. The ingredients are put in there and they do different things.

SPEAKER 03 : 17:51

He’s right. The only difference is there’s no flour in this. It’s actually better than cake for you.

SPEAKER 08 : 17:55

I don’t want to see visually that much of what I’m eating.

SPEAKER 03 : 17:59

It’s like my cake is from Ikea. I have to assemble it.

SPEAKER 08 : 18:06

I don’t want to have to assemble my food. My gosh, if I had to put a candle in something. If I’m going to make it, I’m going to make it.

SPEAKER 06 : 18:12

Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

SPEAKER 01 : 18:29

Listen as students and young adults interview well-respected CEOs on our national radio show, realworldleaders.org, to learn secrets for success and how to use them to propel their careers.

SPEAKER 02 : 18:39

I think it was really inspiring how Mr. Levin just keeps on wanting to grow and learn more from the people around him, his peers and his advisor, his father even.

SPEAKER 04 : 18:50

Anya, how do you want to grow?

SPEAKER 02 : 18:53

Well, I’m also trying to grow my communications. I just became the communications chair of my school’s TA, student government.

SPEAKER 04 : 18:59

Hey, Brett, this thing about communication, how important is that? And how important is for Anya to continue to develop these communication skills?

SPEAKER 07 : 19:07

It’s so important. And I think today, as kids, you have your cell phones in your hands all the time and learn how to look people in the eye, publicly speak and talk to people.

SPEAKER 01 : 19:16

To hear more and to help us introduce your high school, GED, work-ready, and college students to our CEOs, visit our website at realworldleaders.org. That’s realworldleaders.org.