In this episode, explore the intersection of celebrity, culture, and controversy as Dana delves into Pedro Pascal’s critique of J.K. Rowling, and the broader implications of identity politics. Break down the surface-level debates to uncover deeper societal tensions while keeping up with quirky Florida news that never fails to entertain. A must-listen for anyone curious about the cultural pulse and the bizarre reality of daily life tales.
00:00:57 Florida Man Stories: Drunken Mail Carrier and Alligator Encounter
00:06:52 Celebrity Criticism and Identity Politics Discussion
00:20:42 Governor Kotak and Identity Politics Satire
SPEAKER 05 :
This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Picture this. You’re on an important virtual interview answering that make or break question, and suddenly your screen freezes. Not the impression you want. Good internet has never been more important. I’m constantly doing podcast interviews, video calls, and important work on my computer, so I have to have a solid connection. That’s why you can’t take slow for an answer. And with Optimum Fiber, you won’t have to. It is the fastest, most reliable fiber internet in the New York tri-state with 99.9% network reliability so you can stream, work, and game seamlessly. Plus, get a five-year price lock and a $400 prepaid card. Don’t take slow for an answer. Call 888-4-OPTIMUM. Visit your local Optimum store or visit Optimum.com today. Terms apply. See Optimum.com for details.
SPEAKER 03 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Caltech.
SPEAKER 08 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 04 :
Well, well, well, a Florida USPS worker. This is probably why none of my packages ever get to my house and why it takes me. It literally takes a month to send a piece of mail from my house to St. Louis. I’m not even kidding you. That’s how long it takes. A USPS worker was arrested this month in Melbourne, Florida, because she decided to stop off at a house party during her route and drink a bunch of vodka. And then later in the mail truck, apparently she was caught driving the wrong way in traffic. Dude. That’s a probable cause affidavit via Click Orlando. Caitlin Dye, 33, was arrested on April 12th on a charge of DUI. They literally, Melbourne police, they called and said, yeah, there’s a USPS truck driving the wrong way down the highway. And the driver is literally just throwing plastic cups out of the vehicle. So the officers responded and they saw the mail truck driving west on East University Boulevard. And then it made a U-turn to head the other way. And it was swerving in and out of its lane and then went back into the opposite lane. They pulled over the mail truck, and they said that Di appeared to be confused and disoriented. They did a field sobriety exercise, and of course she did not do well in those. They questioned her, and she said that she was delivering to a home, and she was invited inside for a party, and she took some vodka shots before she left, and then she got pulled over. So they asked her why she was swerving in and out of traffic, and she goes, oh, I was tired. I was taking a nap. And she said that she threw the cup out of the vehicle because she was swishing her mouth out with water so she wouldn’t smell like alcohol. She was booked in a Brevard County jail. I mean, there you go right there. Boy, now we got another guy wrestling another gator every dang week in Florida. You can go wrestle a gator. So Jacksonville, Florida. Let’s see. During Easter dinner, they had to call a gator trapper. A family did in Jacksonville because there was a giant gator in their yard. A woman was getting ready to take her dog out when she noticed a seven-foot alligator right by the slide door of her patio. And she said she was just finishing up Easter dinner with family and she was she needed to get the alligator off the property. But she had to get some help. And that’s when Mike Dragich arrived and shoeless. And he wrestled this gator into a garbage can. And it’s actually hysterical looking because it kept popping up and hissing at everybody. It couldn’t get out of the can, but it kept popping up to hiss. And nobody got bit. Thankfully, they called Florida Fish and Wildlife and they were able to take the gator. But yeah, you got to be careful. I wouldn’t be able to let like my dogs out or well, we could probably kill one. Wick is hardcore. Wild raccoon attack. A Florida woman speaks out because she suffered one in her backyard. They’re not pets. She said as soon as she opened up her back door, it bit her on the leg. It was like Monty Python screaming and a crazy raccoon. And she couldn’t shake him off. And he chased her into a corner. And they had to call, she had to go to the emergency room. Animal control had to respond. Thankfully, the animal tested negative for rabies, but it was very aggressive. They had to relocate it. As we move our partners at Kel-Tec. Our Gen 3 Sub 2K, brand new, K-E-L-T-E-C, Florida-based company, great company, by the way. And the folks over at Kel-Tec, they have this, I mean, they have different versions of the fulled in-half carbine, but now you have it chambered in all kinds of stuff, including… Brand new, 10 millimeter. And everything made right here in the U.S. of A. All American parts, all American labor, and all American ingenuity. Single twist and fold motion of the rotating forend folds this quickly in half. Optics and all. You don’t have to detach anything. And just as quickly, it deploys zeroed and ready to rock. It folds down to 16 1⁄2 inches for easy storage and transport. Takes Glock mags. You got a reliable blowback design ensuring ease of maintenance and consistent performance. A five-pound trigger pull for greater accuracy. Internal buffer for softer recoil. Rails up top for accessories. In-lock integrated. It’s ideal for home defense, backpacking, and camping, as well as law enforcement, school, church. I mean, whatever it is you need it for, it’s ready. And they have great, like I said, great innovative designs, and they stand behind everything that they make. Learn more at Caltechweapons.com. Innovation, performance, Caltech. K-E-L-T-E-C-weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
SPEAKER 05 :
This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Picture this, you’re on an important virtual interview answering that make or break question and suddenly your screen freezes. Not the impression you want. Good internet has never been more important. I’m constantly doing podcast interviews, video calls and important work on my computer. So I have to have a solid connection. That’s why you can’t take slow for an answer. And with Optimum Fiber, you won’t have to. It is the fastest, most reliable fiber internet in the New York Tri-State with 99.9% network reliability so you can stream, work, and game seamlessly. Plus, get a five-year price lock and a $400 prepaid card. Don’t take slow for an answer. Call 888-4-OPTIMUM. Visit your local Optimum store or visit Optimum.com today. Terms apply. See Optimum.com for details.
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SPEAKER 04 :
Culturally, I tweeted about this last night because I saw this article as I was getting ready to go to bed. I was reading this. And it has to do with Pedro Pascal. Do you guys know who he is? Pedro Pascal was in, well, my favorite role was as Oberyn whatever, Martell. Oberyn Martell in Game of Thrones when he had his head crushed in. I thought that was his best role. That was one of my favorite scenes in all the TV. Popped his head like a grape. The Mountain Dead. He fought him. Anyway, so he has come out and he’s attacking J.K. Rowling. As you know, they’ve had a massive legal fight and they had a big win in the UK over defining what, you know, protecting women and defining what they are. And he has come out and attacked her. He called her a loser, among several other things. He was also in Mandalorian and he was quiet when Gina Carano was attacked. Gina Carano just said it was pointing out some fascistic elements of the left and they went at her over it and fired her from it. Hollywood Reporter says Pedro Pascal blasted JK Rowling for her trans tweets. He called her a heinous loser. He commented on Instagram calling her a heinous loser. He’s also in The Last of Us, which I don’t watch. And he was responding to a post by an activist saying, who criticized her for celebrating the UK Supreme Court. They had a big ruling last week saying that trans women should not be recognized as women and sex legally means biological sex. Rowling was on her boat. She was with a cigar. And she said, I love it when a plan comes together. She’s gloating and she has every right to. And she goes, I get the same royalties whether or not you read my books or burn them. Enjoy your marshmallows. And he went off on her saying awful, disgusting blank is exactly right. Heinous loser behavior. Now, one of the things that I’ve read is his sister apparently is he’s got a well, he’s got a brother who pretends to be a girl. It’s not like actually his sister is. he’s got a sibling, a brother, who came out and said that she was a girl. And he’s gone to events with him before. He’s taken his brother to events before. He has spoken up in favor of trans issues before. I think that kind of gives you some insight as to why he never said anything in defense of Gina Carano. And also, you get insight into this J.K. Rowling thing. He’s making people mad, too. Lorraine found this because he called Rachel Zegler an icon. This is a throwback. Well, not too much of a throwback. It’s just March of last year. But after all the stuff with Rachel Zegler and after she ruined the Snow White movie, he weighed in on it. And now people are kind of rolling their eyes at him. He called her an icon. He’s just… He is… He will… Pedro Pascal is a pick-me guy. He will say whatever he has to say to ingratiate himself with Hollywood. Whatever he has to do, he will do it. And it’s really… One of the most emasculating things I’ve ever seen. When I think of emasculation, I think of Pedro Pascal. I thought this for a long time. Any man that doesn’t have the balls to stick up for his co-worker, much less a female co-worker, when she’s being savaged unfairly and falsely in the press, you’re just nothing but a sack of low testosterone. That’s all Pedro Pascal is. He’s a pick-me guy. He will kiss whatever backside he has to and possibly more, I think. In order to get more traction in Hollywood. It’s just, it’s cringe. He tries so hard. If you’ve ever seen any video of him, any red carpet appearance, anything like that, that’s exactly what he tries to do. It’s really cringe. Hey folks, so I want to share something important that every American should be aware of. We’re seeing a lot of economic uncertainty right now. You have the national debt rising. Global trade tensions impacting markets and tariffs with higher prices on the stuff that everybody uses every day. It’s not about panic. It’s about preparation. So this is why I partnered with Gold Co., the top rated precious metals company, to help you take a step towards protecting your financial future. Smart investors look to hard assets like gold and silver to help weather the storm. It’s a strategy that’s been used for generations. And right now you can get a free 2025 gold and silver kit that breaks it all down for you. And if you qualify, you could receive unlimited bonus silver, real silver matched to your account with no taxes or penalties. It’s a smart move that could help you feel more secure with what lies ahead. Visit DanaLikesGold.com to get started. That’s DanaLikesGold.com and move forward with confidence.
SPEAKER 05 :
This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Picture this. You’re on an important virtual interview answering that make or break question and suddenly your screen freezes. Not the impression you want. Good internet has never been more important. I’m constantly doing podcast interviews, video calls, and important work on my computer. So I have to have a solid connection. That’s why you can’t take slow for an answer. And with Optimum Fiber, you won’t have to. It is the fastest, most reliable fiber internet in the New York Tri-State with 99.9% network reliability so you can stream, work, and game seamlessly. Plus, get a five-year price lock and a $400 prepaid card. Don’t take slow for an answer. Call 888-4-OPTIMUM. Visit your local Optimum store or visit Optimum.com today. Terms apply. See Optimum.com for details.
SPEAKER 07 :
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SPEAKER 06 :
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SPEAKER 08 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 04 :
They’re really trying to get you to freak out over bird flu. They’re saying, oh my gosh, bird flu could be heading north this spring. Fewer federal health officials are working to stop it. I don’t care. It’s a virus. It’s just, that’s the way it is. Just wash your hands. Don’t be gross and don’t eat dead birds on the side of the road. I mean, really. How difficult is this, people? Do we have to freak out over everything? Stop it. Just take a breather. These people with these headlines. Good night. Panic in Austria. Borders are shut to two countries after a disease outbreak. Oh, but not to like the influx of people coming in from… all manners of the globe illegally. They said Slovakia has closed 24 borders, introduced strict measures to help prevent the spread of a highly infectious disease, they said. This is… It’s foot-in-mouth. Foot-in-mouth disease. Again, just don’t be gross. Be careful what you eat. I mean, what… Pain. What in the world? People know this. Second measles death reported in Texas. I mean, all of these are just like… And also… Texas AG is investigating Kellogg’s over healthy cereal claims. Ken Paxton said that they’re investigating Kellogg’s over the artificial food dyes in cereals. Why does anybody eat… Why do anybody eat these anyway? Like the Pops and the Fruit Loops or Fruitios.
SPEAKER 08 :
From nostalgia, probably.
SPEAKER 04 :
I remember as a kid loving… I never had Fruit Loops until I moved out on my own and I bought a box of Fruit… I always had Fruitios. I always had like… the great value version actually growing up you’re right we all we had cheerios dude i did not get cereal in a box like maybe a couple times it was always in bags right it was always in a bag remember when kicks came out kid tested mother approved that’s a horrible cereal i used to like that because all i had was cheerios up to that point cheerios also was horrible unless you put a cup of sugar in it it’s horrible does it why would anybody eat that grape nuts grape Grape nuts are horrible. That’s like, go out and just, you know what, just beat up a squirrel and take its food. That’s the same thing. You know what grape nuts is? Squirrels eating nuts and spitting them into the cereal box and they seal it up at the factory and send it out and people pay money for it.
SPEAKER 08 :
That’s where grape nuts come from. Huh?
SPEAKER 04 :
I’m just saying. Anyway, just stop eating trash. There’s your headline. But I’ve got more. What? Dana, we’re done with your Dorian-ness today. That’s okay. But you’re not. NASA, by the way, we did miss this last segment, last headlines. NASA, they’re saying that there is a mysterious structure on Mars that proves there was life on the red planet. It’s a new book out. They said that they’ve analyzed dozens of photos of structures on the Martian surface and they are positive that they are man-made. Well, I don’t know if they’re watching what our headlines have been for the past 48 hours, actually longer than that. They don’t want anything to do with us because the stupidity may be more catching than the hand, foot, mouth, and the measles. Can we talk about Lesbian Visibility Week? What? No. Yeah, we need to because I didn’t know it was this week. I don’t really want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s this week. Hold up. It’s this week. It goes until Friday. Apparently, it kicked off, what, yesterday, today? Lesbian Visibility Week. It has a graphic, so you know it’s official. When they come out with graphics, it’s official. Lesbian Visibility Week. The one week which you can see lesbians. Any other time. And look, the graphic. Juan’s showing you the graphic on the simulcast. It is official with that graphic. It’s Lesbian Visibility Week. It’s the week where lesbians can uncloak themselves and be visible in our community. That’s right. You didn’t know that, did you?
SPEAKER 08 :
They have the power of.
SPEAKER 04 :
There could be. I mean, well, this week they can’t. But any other time there could be an invisible lesbian like in your car, Kane. You would know it because they’re invisible.
SPEAKER 08 :
I had no idea.
SPEAKER 04 :
I’m telling you. And I have to read this tweet. I saw this last night from now. Her name is Governor Tina Kotech. I read it as Tina Kotech’s. And I’m like, that makes all the sense in the world. She tweeted, I’m one of two lesbians who hold the title of governor in the United States. I’m proud to live in and serve a state where every person can be their authentic selves. How are you not being your authentic selves? Now, this is going to blow your mind, but hold up. Do you know that there are actual lesbians that go to work and don’t talk about how they’re lesbians all the time and preface everything with, did you know I’m a lesbian?
SPEAKER 08 :
That’s how they’re invisible.
SPEAKER 04 :
I’m telling you. I mean, if you’re a lesbian and you’re not telling everybody you’re a lesbian, are you a lesbian? It’s like if a tree falls in the woods, you know? Here’s my question with the whole thing. Again, I have my scratched eyes, so deal with me. If they’re invisible lesbians, this angers me. Why are they not going out on strike teams? Think about the baddies that we don’t – like El Chapo or something. We could have sent in an invisible lesbian strike team, and they could have just kill-billed El Chapo, right? And then that would have been the wiser because invisible, right? Invisible. I just don’t understand. And then you’ve got this governor who says, I’m one of two – well, I – Why do people have to constantly affix to themselves these identity politic boxes? It’s like they think that somehow their specialness is magnified by however many identity boxes they attach. Right. So like, OK, you’re a lesbian. What if you’re a trans lesbian? Oh, my gosh, that person is more special than you are. I just, you know, I don’t sit here and tell people, like, I really like guacamole, and I’m, like, really proud to be, like, a big guacamole lover here behind the mic. You know what I mean? I just don’t do that kind of stuff. I don’t understand why, you know, it doesn’t make any sense to me why people do this. I don’t know. I mean, then DOD needs to send them out as strike teams. I’m still trying to get over Governor Kotak’s. I’m one of two people who believe the number of intersectional boxes you check determines your worth. Hold the title. That’s what she’s basically saying. Stop with this stuff. This is so goofy. You don’t constantly, you know, need to list identity politics as like your lead in order to somehow give you worth. I mean, you have worth without all of this stuff. It just is goofy. We need a whole month devoted to how we get it on. What about like straight dudes into fat chicks or, you know, skinny dudes into, you know, super skinny? I don’t know. Like, I mean, are we just going to start… Dudes who pee sitting down. They get a whole visibility week. Like, how are we, is this where we’re going to go? Every little thing has to be played up as some sort of like identity politic check, you know, box check.
SPEAKER 08 :
Yes. Representation, I guess.
SPEAKER 04 :
I mean, but why are you not having representation is my question.
SPEAKER 08 :
Like the, for those, you know, faking that you don’t have representation is kind of the grip.
SPEAKER 04 :
I mean, you’re a governor. I’m pretty sure you’re visible. No one sees me. I’m the lesbian governor. How did you get to be governor? Well, I was a lesbian, and then I talked about running for office. That’s what. I think she’s a DEI hire personally. But, yeah, I was really trying to get over Governor Kotak. It’s Kotak, but still.
SPEAKER 03 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 05 :
This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Picture this, you’re on an important virtual interview answering that make or break question and suddenly your screen freezes. Not the impression you want. Good internet has never been more important. I’m constantly doing podcast interviews, video calls, and important work on my computer, so I have to have a solid connection. That’s why you can’t take slow for an answer. And with Optimum Fiber, you won’t have to. It is the fastest, most reliable fiber internet in the New York Tri-State with 99.9% network reliability so you can stream, work, and game seamlessly. Plus, get a five-year price lock and a $400 prepaid card. Don’t take slow for an answer. Call 888-4-OPTIMUM. Visit your local Optimum store or visit Optimum.com today. Terms apply. See Optimum.com for details.
SPEAKER 01 :
Hamas releases its last American hostage just hours before Trump’s trip to the Middle East. Lefties in the media now insist they didn’t hide Joe Biden’s decline, it was their sources who lied. And Homeland Security is investigating whether Los Angeles County gave our Social Security benefits to illegals. I’m Greg Karumbas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the 3 Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad, and crazy news of the day, and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the 3 Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
