In this episode of the Absurd Truth Podcast, buckle up for a dose of wacky news that could only happen in Florida. As we discuss the events surrounding a finger-gun robbery for napkins and a bizarre poisoning attempt, we shine a light on the lighter side of these absurd missteps with critical lessons embedded in the chaos. On a different note, the obsession with Lubooboo plush toys and Stanley’s extravagant drinkware accessories is dissected. What do they reveal about society’s current tastes, and why are people willing to pay thousands for these items? We’ll also navigate through the practicality
For 85 years, Connex Credit Union has been your trusted partner on life’s financial journey. Community focused, always listening and lending a hand. Here for you every step of the way. Whether you’re saving for your first home, a degree, or a rainy day, we’ve been here for 85 years, helping our community save more, growing stronger together. Connex, banking for your possibilities. Visit connexcu.org. Equal housing opportunity. NMLS 458548. Federally insured by NCUA.
SPEAKER 04 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 06 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 03 :
Don’t do this ever. WSFA Channel 12. Florida Man uses finger guns to steal Waffle House napkins. Wait, what? Finger guns. Madison County, Florida. A Waffle House employee called 911 to report an attempted robbery. The suspect was unarmed and left simply after grabbing some napkins. Edward Rodriguez was identified as the assailant. He entered the Waffle House wearing a gray hoodie. He had a little dog. And then he shouted, get on the ground. Y’all getting robbed. And then he stated later he was high and drunk, grabbed napkins and walked out. He got into a vehicle and left the parking lot. He did not appear to have a weapon, but he did raise his hands in the shape of a finger gun. Yeah, you can’t go and throw hands, finger guns or otherwise at a Waffle House. I’m surprised that the employees didn’t like go into, you know, octagon mode and leap out from behind the counter and beat him down in the store. But also, I mean, would you not know that that was kind of a stupid joke? What would you do? Somebody walked in and was like, you’re all getting robbed and had finger guns.
SPEAKER 06 :
I think there’s a couple of factors here we need to know. How drunk was this person? How late was it? I don’t know. But I don’t know. I don’t think I’d put up with any of that.
SPEAKER 03 :
Would you call 911?
SPEAKER 06 :
I don’t think I’d call 911.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, I mean, I would just have my shotgun. For napkins? Yeah, for napkins. I don’t know. I don’t know. Let’s see here. We also have… A Florida man was arrested. He was trying to poison his ex’s liquor bottle with bleach. Why? You can tell that stuff. I mean, even unless you’re drinking. What am I thinking of? Everclear. Oh, gosh. Then maybe.
SPEAKER 06 :
You could run vehicles off of that stuff.
SPEAKER 03 :
You can run the planet off of a bottle of Everclear. What are you talking about? I feel like always sunny in Philadelphia when they’re like, what’s the fanciest, like, liqueur that you can think of? And they’re like, oh, Goldschlager. Yeah, because, you know. Yeah, it’s got flakes of gold in it. And then that’s when they did the nickel schlager. Okay, anyway. Deltona Beach attempted poisoning attempt. Investigators say the victim went to her ex-boyfriend’s home to get her stuff. Her friend went with her. And I don’t know why, but the two decided to take a shot from a bottle of Tito’s to calm their nerves. And apparently the uncle that went with the girl realized that… something was really wrong and that the drink was tainted with bleach and they called the police and he admitted it and he said he also put it in her facial products well that’s just an astringent at that point you dummy let’s be honest big pharma profited off of your fear while silencing your voice They controlled the narrative, blocked access to real treatments, and then told you what you could and could not take, all to protect their bottom line. Medicines like ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, and bendazole were all labeled dangerous and dismissed, even though millions found relief and recovery from them. This Independence Day, All Family Pharmacy is standing up for your freedom with their biggest sale of the year. You get buy one, get one free on these critical medications with a doctor’s prescription included, shipped fast and direct to your door. No corporate gatekeepers, no big pharma middlemen, no bureaucratic roadblocks. At All Family Pharmacy, all medications are made from 100% domestically sourced materials, ensuring the highest quality and safety standards you can trust. Because medical freedom is American freedom. But this offer won’t last. It ends July 13th. Visit allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana for buy one, get one free. That’s allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana. Take back your power and make America healthy again.
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For 85 years, Connex Credit Union has been your trusted partner on life’s financial journey. Community focused, always listening and lending a hand. Here for you every step of the way. Whether you’re saving for your first home, a degree, or a rainy day, we’ve been here for 85 years, helping our community save more, growing stronger together. Connex, banking for your possibilities. Visit connexcu.org. Equal housing opportunity. NMLS 458548. Federally insured by NCUA.
SPEAKER 01 :
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SPEAKER 03 :
It’s called a laboo-boo. And the reason I know about this thing is because apparently… I saw an adult woman with one on her giant lady purse. I’m not even kidding. It is a, I don’t know, a plush toy. I don’t know how else to put it. It’s like a monster toy, and it was created by this Hong Kong Belgian designer, and it’s sold exclusively at a Chinese-based retailer, Pop Mart, because I don’t do Chinese stuff, so… That explains a lot of it. The CCP probably loves it. So when I heard teddy bear made of human skin, I immediately thought of a labubu. Now, they’re not all like teddy bear looking things. Someone said it looks like a Mesopotamian demon. Yeah, that’s accurate. And apparently a K-pop Lisa from Blackpink wore one on her purse and it like exploded. It started in Thailand, Southeast Asia, and now grown women… So the woman, it’s a friend of a friend. So I don’t feel bad that I’m talking. And she’s kind of a moderate. So I don’t feel bad. She had a grown, grown woman. She was like 50 something. I don’t know why I’m whispering. Yeah. Like she was like 50 something and she has like had like a huge, you know fancy bag and she had this thing on it and My first inclination is to go WTF is that you know and just be real but I didn’t I was looking at it And so I asked another woman. I was like, why does she have a toy on her bag? She was like, oh, that’s a little boo boo. Like I was supposed to know what that was. I’m like, oh, we would She’s like, oh, that’s a little boo boo. Like what was a little boo boo? It’s like a… I don’t know. Is it like beanie babies? Remember when adults… I will never forget this old photo that I saw. And it was a photo of this couple that were in divorce court in the 90s. And they were dividing up their beanie babies in their divorce settlement. They were literally on the floor of the courtroom with piles of beanie babies by each of them. And I thought… My first actual thought was, well, why wasn’t this the moment that society was declared dead? I don’t know. So, little boo-boos are apparently really… It’s hard to get the one that you want because you usually have to get them in what they call – I don’t even – you know who explained this to me? Carol Roth. Carol Roth knows all about them. I don’t know why Carol does. It’s a funny – I don’t know. They’re incredibly expensive. So some of them are like – can be like $90 and then the more valuable ones can go for thousands. What? And when you purchase them, if you want a specific one, it’s going to be super expensive. Or you do just what they call a blind box purchase and you just buy Ella Boo Boo and they give you whatever one they want to give you. And it works. That kind of abusive marketing works on dumb women. I don’t get it, but that does. And you ought to hear about some of this stuff. It’s insane. It’s like some of them were like, one of them was like $10,000. I’m not kidding you. And they look like giant teddy bears that people hang on their bags. And there are stories of people that are stealing them in the street. They have safety issues because people are fighting over them. They had a human-sized Laboo Boo that was like $200,000 that sold. They had a limited edition release one, a regular-sized one that was $31,000. All these celebrities like Rihanna and everybody else are wearing them. So now everybody else is wearing them. I mean, aren’t we just talking about inflation and the cost of eggs and how people are walking around with expensive little Mesopotamian demons on their handbags? Like what in the world is wrong with society right now? But if you think that’s dumb, you haven’t seen all of it. So do you guys know what Stanleys are, right? A lot of people, I feel like, went to Stanleys after Yeti stepped in it. Remember when Yeti was really popular and then they got real dumb after Parkland and real weird about Second Amendment stuff? And then I think even before then, because I had friends that work in the outdoors industry and they were kind of turning on Yeti because Yeti was partnering with all of these outdoorsmen and women. And then… Anytime anybody did anything firearm related, they would pull sponsorship or something like that. It was a big controversy. And I feel like people started gravitating towards Stanleys. Now, Stanley was what my grandpa took his coffee in when he would go hunting. And it was just like a giant green thing with a twist off. That’s how I remembered it, right? Now, they have the tumblers. Now, full disclosure, I have one because it keeps my stuff cold and it has a handle on it. And I almost hate carrying it out in public because I don’t want to be like one of those people. But I have to have my adult sippy cup. I have to have diet soda or ice water in my tumbler at all times. It’s a Texas thing. You’ve got to have one. Otherwise, the world stops spinning if you leave the house without it. I’m saving the earth. So Stanley’s, the tumblers that they have, they make, I can’t even believe I’m saying this, accessories for it. Have you heard of a Stanny Pack? What? So, you have your Stanley, right? Sure. And you would put a backpack on it. What? It has its own backpack. There’s one showing you right now on the simulcast. Why? That’s a Stanny Pack. Now, there’s different kinds. They make designer Stanny Pack. This is what… Where’s SMOD? Where is the Sweet Meteor of Death? Thank you. They make all kinds. They have a carrier bag for them. So you can get like a neck carrier. You know how you would have a baby Bjorn for your baby? It’s like a Stanley Bjorn for your Stanley. And then you put your Stanley in it and you wear it on your neck and it has a Stanley pack. Oh, but wait, there’s a Stanley pack. There’s more. Oh my gosh, there’s more. You can get entire skins for it. Straps for your Stanleys. Oh my gosh, there’s like charms. Now, you might think, oh, that’s real sweet that little girls have that. No. Guys, for whatever reason, fashion has convinced women to infantilize ourselves and do this stuff. Because there are women I like that do some of this. I don’t get it. And I’m mad because I didn’t invent it. That’s what I’m mad about. Why didn’t I invent a StaniPak? I mean, that’s a stupid idea that is making buku bucks for somebody out there right now. Right? Like, they get them personalized and all this stuff. What does this say about society? That it’s these… I am trying to understand the psychology of it. Like, there’s… especially in Texas, it’s a big deal. You get your Stanleys and all the girls go to, and the guys have them too, but the guys usually have guy colors. The girls want pink and they have their names on them. They have their Stanny packs and they have all this stuff. And it doesn’t matter what zip code you’re in. It is, it does not matter. That’s the thing. It is unifyingly ridiculous. I don’t get it. What is, Cain, would you ever walk around with a thermos that had a little fanny pack on it?
SPEAKER 1 :
No.
SPEAKER 03 :
You wouldn’t? No.
SPEAKER 06 :
No. Matter of fact, those old Stanley thermoses that you referenced that your grandpa had and your dad. Well, listen, I had one and it fit right in the top of that lunchbox. That was the accessory to my Stanley back in the day. I had one of those big old lunchboxes that the Stanley thermos would fit right in the lid. Yeah.
SPEAKER 03 :
I mean, and I like I mean, yes, it keeps it cold. But and that’s why because I drink tons of water. I take allergy medication, too. So it dries out, you know, dries everything. So I drink tons of water anyway. But I don’t put like like they have charms on them. And so I’m like, OK, you have little boo boos and Stanley’s. I have yet to see in the wild a woman with both of these things. If I do, I’m so taking a picture of her. I don’t care if I get beat up in the process. I’m so going to do it. I’m just going to be like, wait a minute, don’t kick my ass until after I get the photo so I can put it on Instagram and be like, what in the world? I haven’t seen both of them in the wild at once, but I have seen them singularly in the wild. And I don’t understand this at all. So is this like the Beanie Baby craze thing? But Beanie Baby, wasn’t that something that little kids were in? Were adults really into it? I mean, what does an adult do with a Beanie Baby? You don’t play with it. What do you do with it? I don’t get it.
SPEAKER 05 :
Put it on the adult shelf.
SPEAKER 03 :
What?
SPEAKER 05 :
With all the other adult Beanie Babies.
SPEAKER 1 :
What?
SPEAKER 03 :
I do not understand this stuff at all whatsoever. I get it that some people have the things that they like to collect. I get you. But hear me out. It’s weird. Okay. It’s weird, right? It’s weird. I don’t know. But I felt like that when I saw that teddy bear made of human skin, my first thought went to the Lububu. And then I had a friend tell me that their daughter had asked for a Stani pack and Stani accessories. And I… I didn’t know what that meant. And I literally had to be explained to like I was five because I didn’t understand that. Oh, you buy things for your cup like you would a child. Oh, now we’re accessorizing our drinkware. Why did I invent that? Guys, we are all in the wrong industry. We all need to combine our thoughts here, and we need to take over this industry, something fierce. Or we need to have a stupid idea for the next one. The folks who helped make the program possible, it is the people over at Kel-Tec, the new generation sub-2K. It folds fast, optics stay in place, and deploys just as quickly, zeroed and ready. It’s innovation with a twist, and it’s available in a variety of calibers, including now 10mm calibers. It’s a foldable carbine. And it’s really easy to do. You don’t have to detach anything to fold it in half. And you don’t have to attach anything once you unfold it and put it back and deploy it back ready to go. It accepts Glock mags as well. Standard 15 round Glock 20 mag folds down to 16 and a half inches for easy storage and transport. Simple and reliable blowback design. You also have an internal buffer for softer recoil, lightened five pound trigger pull, integrated M-lock and rails for accessories. It’s good for whatever your needs are, including backpacking, camping, law enforcement, church security, even whatever you need. Caltech makes it right here in the U.S. of A, American Materials. You can find more at caltechweapons.com. That’s K-E-L-T-E-C weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
SPEAKER 02 :
For 85 years, Connex Credit Union has been your trusted partner on life’s financial journey. Community focused, always listening and lending a hand. Here for you every step of the way. Whether you’re saving for your first home, a degree, or a rainy day, we’ve been here for 85 years, helping our community save more, growing stronger together. Connex, banking for your possibilities. Visit connexcu.org. Equal housing opportunity. NMLS 458548. Federally insured by NCUA.
SPEAKER 01 :
Parents, what if there was a free public school that was designed around your child’s success? There is. It’s called Success Academy. From the moment you walk into a Success Academy school, you’ll see the difference. The bright, colorful hallways, beautiful classrooms, each with hundreds of books. The safe, structured, distraction-free learning environment where your child can thrive. The routines and consistent schedules that help them grow more independent every day. And the rich, proven curriculum of academics, arts, and athletics that lays the groundwork for lasting success both in and out of the classroom. Every last detail at Success Academy has been carefully designed to create a joyful, meaningful learning experience for kids. It’s success by design. Success Academy applications are open now for grades K through six for fall 2025 at applytosa.org. That’s A-P-P-L-Y-T-O-S-A dot O-R-G. Don’t wait. Apply today at applytosa.org.
SPEAKER 06 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 03 :
Aw, yeah. All right, so first up, NASA, there’s more to this than meets the eye. NASA apparently discovered a super earth called TOI-1846. And it’s supposed to be a super earth due to its size. But with a temperature of about 600 degrees Fahrenheit, I don’t think that anybody could live there. I mean, I myself love a dry heat, but this might be a little much. Just saying. It’s not likely habitable. There is a similarity in terms of size. But they said there were some weird signals coming from it. But the weird signals apparently are… A starlight dip from transit. I don’t even know what that means. So it’s just customary. It’s just like a… I still am going to cross my fingers and hope that they’re all wrong. They could be. Popular zero-calorie sweetener could impair brain blood vessel cells, according to a study. I don’t care. Actually, it’s erythritol, which if you’re keto… that’s like a popular sweetener. It’s horrible. And isn’t that the one that has a taste? It’s horrible. I can, if I, oh my gosh, this chemical needs to die in an AIDS fire because it’s one of the worst things. It’s like, I’m going to bake something nice and defecate in it. That’s what this does. It is one of the worst artificial sweeteners. It tastes like a plague. It’s that horrible. I don’t, I hate it more than anything else I’ve ever hated in my life, actually. Except the devil. Hate him more. Beyonce’s unreleased music was stolen from a car in Atlanta. I really don’t care. Do we care? I mean, what is it from the Cowboy Carter niche album? I don’t know. But apparently it was a car used by her choreographer. How did he get music, though? How does the choreographer get unreleased music? Unless I guess he’s, you know, choreographing her. But still, you would just like let him. Don’t they have like a kind of a skiff for this stuff? I don’t know. I’m just just guessing. A robot. Robot umpire. No. Nope. Nope. Don’t want this. Nope. Robot umpires are going to make an all-star game debut. They’re going to use this in regular season. Robot umpires. Robot umpires. Yeah. When you say robot umpire, I look for that short little robot to run up awkwardly on the field. That’s what I’m looking at. They’ve been experimenting with automated ball strike systems in the minor leagues, and now they’re going to use it in the All-Star game for the first time this summer. They said that pitchers think everything is a strike, and then you go back and look at it, and it’s two or three balls off. They said, yes, they want to challenge it. Steve said that they used it last night, and it worked well.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, the All-Star game was last night. It’s essentially not a robo-ump. It’s just an automatic system.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, why are they saying a robo-ump then?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, it’s not a robot. It’s a replay system.
SPEAKER 03 :
A replay system. See, this is fake news. It’s fake news because it’s not even an actual robot. Like, if you’re telling me a robot umpire, I’m expecting, like, an actual robotic person-looking thing standing there on the field. Heavy rains and flash flooding across the Northeast. This has been the rainiest summer I think I can imagine. It has been. It rained pretty much all day yesterday. Well, like basically after three o’clock, it rained all night and heavy rains, flooding, stranded vehicles, all kinds of stuff. New York, Pennsylvania, et cetera. And then last but not least, New York City saw its second wettest hour in history. They had a terrifying freak flash flooding yesterday. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you. Bottom of this third hour. So TSA, you may. May, it’s being hinted. The next big rollback might be liquid restrictions on flights. Department of Homeland Security suggested Wednesday that they’re pushing for the TSA to ease up on its liquids, aerosols and gels rule. Now that the airport security has ditched the shoes off policy. Hallelujah, by the way. And I think it’s smart if Noam is is going after all this stuff. I mean, she should. I’m like I said, I’ll give her a pass on however she wants to look at any event or whatever she wants to do, whatever, you know, aesthetics she wants to tweak. I don’t care. I’ll give her a pass for everything. You make this a thing that happens, girl. I don’t care if you wear a fur to the to the border as long as it’s ethically sourced. I don’t care. So, because right now you can only have 3.4 ounces of liquid with you. And this is what I don’t, you know how stupid this all is? First off, when you’re going through airport security, And this is all because of after 9-11 and you had the shoe bomber and I guess what was it? Somebody else had tried to set off some kind of bomb with a liquid. So they banned like regular size liquids and you had to have 3.4 ounces, which as everybody knows is teeny tiny. And it is so infuriating because you can’t hardly get like the stuff that you use doesn’t always come in travel size. And then you have to put it in these stupid little travel bottles and it’s a pain in the backside. It’s like a science experiment gone wrong in the bathroom. It’s horrible to try to make it all happen. So I always thought it was weird that you would have to ditch all your liquids or water bottles or anything. Everybody throws everything in one trash can right there when you’re going through security. And it’s like, well, if that’s suspect and you have to get rid of it because of potential explosiveness, you’re all putting it in one trash can at your choke point. Now, if I’m playing a strategy game, You know, like, you know, with the family the other day, we’re playing Earth Defense Force, right? You know, you want to get a choke point and then you set off an explosive, you know, at a choke point. You know, you get everybody going through there, you take out the enemy. I’m just saying that’s, you know, it seems bad. I always get nervous when I, I’m always nervous going through TSA because of that reason. It’s a choke point. I am never most heightened in terms of awareness as when I’m going through TSA. Because if I was a baddie and I wanted to do something, it would be at that choke point. It’s right at the entrance, right in front. And that’s, everybody’s in a line. Everybody’s waiting there. It’s just like, I, it’s the most mind boggling, insane thing I’ve ever seen. Anyway. And then the 3.4 ounces, my gosh, that’s not enough for anything. What if you hate checking your bags like me? Because Murphy’s law in terms of lost bag would always happen to me. So I don’t check a bag. I can get everything I need in a week unless I absolutely have to. And if it’s work related, if I’m like on a work trip and it’s like a week long thing, maybe, but I always, I don’t know what I’m speaking to this cruise that we’re going. I’m the, the, uh, MRC thing. I have no idea what I’m going to do then. Cause that’s international. I got to have three. Oh, and that’s the other thing. If you’re flying international, uh, Doesn’t mean that they’re all going to reduce their restrictions. That’s just if you’re flying domestically. So I don’t know. But still, they give a few exceptions for a medication and infant formula and that. But if you want to fly with higher volume liquid, you have to put it in your check bags and then pray it doesn’t get lost or wrecked. Because I’ve had I’ve had airlines crush my suitcase before. I’ve had one busted suitcase where it was just, I don’t even know what happened. It looks like a velociraptor got a hold of it. And then I had one where they put it up and you get it on the jet bridge. And I mean, it literally crushed my suitcase. My wheels were busted. I had to like pick it up and carry it through. And that’s when I got one of those super strong suitcases. And then they’re just like, well, we’ll give you $50. Hope nothing in it was broken, you know? So I don’t know. I, I, I would hope because I hate having to carry everything in like my one personal item bag. And that’s what I have to do. So I don’t know. But the shoe thing is good. But taking out the liquids and all that stuff. I mean, aren’t they also getting to the way that I understand it? They have like new scanners. So some airports have new scanners. And this is and I also wish that TSA at these security checkpoints would let people know in advance with a sign that. uh whether or not the the x-ray machine or the machines that you’re putting your stuff through if you have to take that stuff out or not because i have flown where some of the newer machines you don’t have to take your liquids out you can keep it in your bag and they just notice it but then if you take it out i mean i’ve had agents like scream at me for taking it out of my bag and i’m like there’s literally no one this has always been the rule when was it not the rule you know it’s like Please be kind to your travelers when you’re going through because not everybody knows that you’ve switched up machines and that they don’t have to take this out or they do have to take it out. I have literally flown through the same terminal and went through one time and they were like, don’t take your stuff out. And then the next time I went through that exact same terminal, I got a different machine. I was in a different line. And then they’re like, take your stuff out. Why is your stuff not on your back? It’s like, because I didn’t… that you they need notices for this that being said i really hope i really hope that they do this to fly domestically and be able to carry like you know a regular not that i have giant you know super value size bottles of shampoo but just being able to take like regular stuff that would be nice sunblock is super important like when you’re trapped for vacation because it’s so up marked everywhere else that’s a big thing it would be nice it’d be nice
SPEAKER 04 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 02 :
For 85 years, Connex Credit Union has been your trusted partner on life’s financial journey. Community focused, always listening and lending a hand. Here for you every step of the way. Whether you’re saving for your first home, a degree, or a rainy day, we’ve been here for 85 years, helping our community save more, growing stronger together. Connex, banking for your possibilities. Visit connexcu.org. Equal housing opportunity. NMLS 458548. Federally insured by NCUA.
SPEAKER 01 :
Parents, what if there was a free public school that was designed around your child’s success? There is. It’s called Success Academy. From the moment you walk into a Success Academy school, you’ll see the difference. The bright, colorful hallways, beautiful classrooms, each with hundreds of books. The safe, structured, distraction-free learning environment where your child can thrive. The routines and consistent schedules that help them grow more independent every day. And the rich, proven curriculum of academics, arts, and athletics that lays the groundwork for lasting success both in and out of the classroom. Every last detail at Success Academy has been carefully designed to create a joyful, meaningful learning experience for kids. It’s success by design. Success Academy applications are open now for grades K through 6 for fall 2025 at applytosa.org. That’s A-P-P-L-Y-T-O-S-A dot O-R-G. Don’t wait. Apply today at applytosa.org.
