Dana reacts to South Park’s latest episode making fun of Kristi Noem, ICE and J.D. Vance, and also making references to “Fantasy Island”. Meanwhile, Penske releases a statement condemning DHS using their brand of trucks for immigration enforcement raids.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
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All right, so first up, another guy, a man accused of pointing a laser at Florida Sheriff’s helicopter says he was just being silly. That’s a silly and a danger. He’s accused of pointing a laser at the helicopter because he’s a moron. WFLA said that happened over the weekend. Marion County Sheriff’s Office said that its aviation unit was conducting a security check, and the crew noticed a green laser beam repeatedly striking the aircraft. When the pilot’s vision was obstructed, that’s when Corporal Tim Martin used the helicopter’s camera to locate the suspect, who was identified as 41-year-old Adam Santiago Lugo. And they said he was standing in his driveway with binoculars and a laser pointer. I mean, they got him dead to rights in the survey in the camera that they have on board. He said that he was bored and he was just being silly. The deputy said, well, silly sometimes is a felony. So because you can’t do that, you can make them crash. It’s crazy. I can’t believe how many people do this. And they’re just shocked when they’re arrested. Yeah. An elderly Florida man was rescued because he got his car stuck on train tracks with two trains approaching. I got to tell you, there’s things that I thought that we would be dealing with a hell of a lot more as adults, like quicksand and train tracks. get back to the quick scene one like seriously why did we think that that we thought there was gonna be quick scene everywhere but this is like a nightmare come to life this guy first off how the hell does he get his train his car stuck on in that way did you see the way that the car was oriented it’s like you have to try to do it like that like that there’s no this is stupid that you can do it he was an elderly man he didn’t just like get it it wasn’t like he was crossing the train tracks and he got it stuck on the road going over the train tracks. It’s like he turned like right on the tracks and then started like a train would go down the tracks, started driving the car down the tracks. And he was on not one, but two different, like there’s one, there’s two train tracks that are there. Here’s, you can see the picture on the simulcast. We can see one of the trains approaching. So he’s got his wheels on, I mean, technically two trains could pass there, but the cars in the middle and like basically also kind of on the other rail while also simultaneously on that rail. This is crazy. So they had to issue citations because he did improper turns. That’s how he got stuck on the tracks. But they stopped. Both trains had to stop. They had to call a wrecker to remove the guy’s car from the tracks. It took an hour, and then the trains resumed normal operations. I just have no idea how that happens. That guy probably shouldn’t drive anymore if he… didn’t realize what he was doing when he turned on train tracks.
SPEAKER 03 :
The thing is, not all old people… I know that you hate old people, but I get it.
SPEAKER 02 :
You don’t think old people are innocent. You think he was up to some nefarious, no-good shenanigans?
SPEAKER 03 :
Not all old people. Like, he probably was… He probably threw back a few. He was probably drinking.
SPEAKER 02 :
Do you think? I don’t know if he threw back a few.
SPEAKER 03 :
Seriously. What are you going to… You see that, where he was on those tracks?
SPEAKER 02 :
It was bad. I really don’t know how that happens. Yeah, I really… I don’t, man, I don’t know. I don’t know how that happens. But this woman, a Florida woman, posed as a nurse and treated over 4,400 patients. How does this even happen? This is Flager County in Palm Coast. The suspect, Autumn Berdiza, was hired by a hospital, Advent Health in Palm Coast, to and she apparently forged documents stole a nurse’s identity and deceived the hospital for seven months she claimed she was an education first nurse meaning that she had completed nursing school and was awaiting getting her license but that was a lie so she didn’t have legitimate credentials she used the nursing license number of another woman who had the same name what’s the what’s the right probability of that good night and apparently she worked at a separate advent health the nurse whose identity she stole and also to the nursing school with this lady so they were not known to be acquaintances but apparently bardisa exploited that connection to steal her professional identity and she explained her different last name by claiming she had recently married a man a claim she never substantiated I mean, she pretended to be a doctor or a nurse. It was over 4,486 patients, according to Florida Department of Health and U.S. Department of Health. And they’re trying to look to see if, you know, obviously patient safety, competency, all of this stuff. She worked in a clinical setting for months. Four months. Our friends over at Kel-Tec who make the program possible, the PR57. You can actually have this as your daily driver, the PR57. It’s a rotary barrel pistol chambered in 5.7. It’s actually the lightest 5.7 that’s out on the market. They achieve this in a couple of different ways. First off, the rotary barrel makes it lighter, but also the unique top-loading feature. So you load it at the top. But instead of traditional magazines, you actually use stripper clips. So the left when they say it’s clips instead of mags, it’s actually correct just with this specific firearm. But it makes for a slimmer carry profile, 20 plus one capacity, super easy field strip. I mean, MSRP is only $3.99. It’s very affordable. Made by the folks based in Florida, Kel-Tec. You can learn more at keltecweapons.com. Innovation Performance Kel-Tec. That’s K-E-L-T-E-C, weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
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Welcome again back to the program. The Chats at Rumble, Channel 347, is the stream of the program. South Park, they went after everybody. Remember, the season has just begun, folks. So just know they’re probably going to continue going after literally everybody. They went after Kristi Noem as well. We can’t show you the video because YouTube is a Nazi, an actual one. And absolutely will like delete accounts and delete videos. They deleted another one of my videos. I don’t know. Every day at something. So we can’t actually show you the video. The only thing we can do is play audio and then put like elements up. So that’s it. But they spoofed. This is an example. I mean, everything is funny. I think it’s all funny. Listen.
SPEAKER 05 :
Welcome to the team, recruits. I’m Kristy Noem, head of Homeland Security. Oh, she seems nice. Okay, very pretty. A few years ago, I had to put my puppy down by shooting it in the face. Because sometimes doing what’s important means doing what’s hard.
SPEAKER 02 :
Look, it was easy to make fun of because it was a ridiculous cell phone.
SPEAKER 05 :
And if you can’t laugh at that, then I don’t know what. I can laugh at everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Even myself.
SPEAKER 02 :
You know, that’s the thing. Whenever they would try to make fun of me on Daily Show, it was always some like totally unfunny chick in a leather jacket. And I’m like, I don’t even wear leather jackets all the time. Only in fall and winter, you absolute bimbo. Good night. It’s spring for crying out loud. But it’s all funny. And then they I just look, it’s it’s a statement on the zeitgeist. It’s it’s the moment in time encapsulated in a, you know, in fractal in a drawing. I don’t know. So I don’t know why people are getting don’t get upset about it. It’s not a big I like J.D. Vance’s response. He was like, I finally made it. Although of all of the meme photos they could have used for him. There were some out there that were funnier, if I’m being honest, like the J.D. Vance meme. So they had he he retweeted it and said, I finally made it. Can I tell you, I didn’t know what this was a reference to until I saw it explained on X, the little outfits that they were in and the.
SPEAKER 03 :
You didn’t know that that was Fantasy Island?
SPEAKER 02 :
I never watched that show. When did that air? What? Hang on.
SPEAKER 03 :
You never knew about that? Herve Villachez was the small guy there.
SPEAKER 02 :
You were saying like, I know these people. Fantasy Island. Let’s look and see when it aired. Okay. It was, oh, it started before I was even born. And it finished when I was like three. So that’s probably why I didn’t watch it. Okay. In my defense, don’t make fun of me because I was like, what is that in reference to? I mean, I’ve seen the two of them before.
SPEAKER 03 :
You act like the show was only on for like two or three years.
SPEAKER 02 :
It was on from 77 to 84. That’s not a long time.
SPEAKER 03 :
But it went into reruns and is still available today.
SPEAKER 02 :
Is he that little guy who was like the plane, the plane?
SPEAKER 03 :
Yes.
SPEAKER 02 :
Okay. See, I know that. What was his name?
SPEAKER 03 :
Tattoo was his name on the show, but his real name is Hervé Villeneuve.
SPEAKER 02 :
Now, the guy who was the guy that he stood with.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah.
SPEAKER 02 :
Don’t laugh at me, you guys. His name was real. Okay, Ricardo Montalban. Didn’t they parody him because he was supposed to be a very elegant man?
SPEAKER 03 :
Yes.
SPEAKER 02 :
Right? Is that okay?
SPEAKER 03 :
It’s almost like, I think, who did that? Steve, who’s the parody ones? It was the parody like beer commercials where they had a guy that was like this.
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, yeah. That’s Dos Equis.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yes.
SPEAKER 02 :
That’s right.
SPEAKER 03 :
It’s kind of like that.
SPEAKER 02 :
But yeah, you’re right.
SPEAKER 03 :
Ricardo Montalban.
SPEAKER 02 :
Ricardo Montalban. So I just, I’m going to say, I really think that they could have used like a number of different J.D. Vance faces. You guys remember when that meme was going crazy and people were making his face bigger and bigger and they gave him curls? And he actually thought it was funny. He retweeted some of it. Those were some of the funniest memes I’ve ever seen. So I’m like, that’s the one they went with?
SPEAKER 03 :
But one, put that up. That is his fat face.
SPEAKER 02 :
I know. No, it was made bigger. His face isn’t that fat. It was made bigger. It’s a meme. But I’m like, why didn’t they use the one where he had the curls or some of these other ones where it looks like his eyes are suns? I mean, it’s just hysterical. It’s so funny. Anyway, I just I think it’s great that they were having a good time with it or that they thought. And that’s really all you can do when things like that happen. Like the worst thing that Republicans can do is to get upset over it. Yeah.
SPEAKER 03 :
I think when the White House made a comment, was it a week or two ago?
SPEAKER 02 :
They shouldn’t have.
SPEAKER 03 :
They shouldn’t have at all. Trump himself hasn’t said anything about it. J.D. Vance has done this. So I do like this approach.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah. The worst thing that they can do is say something and be offended. So J.D. Vance’s response was just simple. Like he acknowledged it and that’s it. But remember when the White House was like, oh, it’s irrelevant. I mean, they’re really not. They just got like a billion dollar deal with Paramount there. And they have ratings that… like the Simpsons before them, no one, I mean, it’s a magical thing because nobody else gets the ratings that they do. So you can’t really say that. And then they turned around and they tweeted, oh, not relevant, you know, whatever. So you just gave them another opportunity to respond. The best way to suck the energy out of the room is just be like, ah, ha, ha, yeah. And then that’s it and leave it because then it loses its power. The power that it has is only if you’re offended. That’s why it’s so easy to troll certain people. I mean, sometimes like if I’m bored, you know, or if I just, you know, feel like being mean, I don’t ever feel like that. I’m always nice and happy. OK, well, like, let me give you an example. Like, say, say like, well, like this weekend, I got to go and give a speech and I’m going to be on a plane and it’ll be, you know, I’m not going to be working. So what am I going to do? I’m probably going to be on social media trolling, Kane. That’s probably exactly what I’m going to do. And the power comes in people being offended. If they’re offended, then you can just keep bringing content out of them. And it’s like you’re an energy vampire. You don’t even know. Like what we do in the shadows. Colin, the energy vampire that’s on that show, he is what he does. He trolls social media and then he just absorbs all the energy from people being outraged. It’s hysterical. It’s actually like a perfect description. So as long as people realize they do make fun of everyone, they’ve made fun of Democrats just because they haven’t specifically gone after Biden or Harris, I don’t think is the measure. And also it’s the season’s young.
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And now all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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The White House order orders NASA to get rid of the climate change nonsense satellites. But the way that the left says it. Trump is killing and murdering our satellites. We’re all going to die. It’s not that at all. It’s all the stuff that has to do with the stupid nonsense of wealth redistribution that they call climate change. So it’s super easy. I thought this was interesting. So now it comes from The Guardian. And you guys know how much I just love The Guardian. They said that J.D. Vance’s team had the water level of an Ohio river raised for their boating trip. Now, I didn’t even know that one could do that, first off. Like, that’s like some Mickey Mouse magician stuff, if that’s even possible. They said that they had the Army Corps of Engineers change the outflow of a lake in Ohio to accommodate the excursion. Is this, like, a thing you can request? What? I don’t care about anything else in the story except that. I’m like, wait a minute. Can we actually ask for… Yes, I’m going kayaking. I would… Like to have the water level raised? They said that it was a Secret Service thing to support safe navigation of the Little Miami River. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. Is that a thing that they do? I don’t know. Are they in a drought period? I am just as confused as you are. It’s not like they’re locks, right? Where you go in and you have to raise the, you know, do one of those things. It’s not like that. So I don’t know. Is that something you can request? I used to go float all the time. Like, we used to float Huzal River, Black River, you know, all that stuff. Current River, which is cold.
SPEAKER 03 :
When the rain was high, how was the current?
SPEAKER 02 :
Oh, dude, that current was… It would yeet you down the river. You got yeeted straight past all the stuff you wanted to see. It was pretty hardcore. Let’s see here. We also have a Seattle teen that sells his card game to a toy giant. He sold it for more than a million dollars. At 15. That’s pretty amazing. K-I-R-O. I don’t even know what kind of card. Was it like Pokemon or something? No, just, you know, he created a card game. Taco versus burrito. Now he’s a millionaire. That’s actually pretty amazing. Burrito. If I had to pick. No, no, I changed my mind. Taco. It’d be taco.
SPEAKER 03 :
Mine’s both.
SPEAKER 02 :
You can’t pick both. You gotta pick one.
SPEAKER 03 :
Too bad I picked both.
SPEAKER 02 :
I’m just saying.
SPEAKER 03 :
Do something about it.
SPEAKER 02 :
Hospital parking garage mistakenly charged a woman $8,000 for a 45-minute visit. Almost. She’s fighting it. It’s in Los Angeles. But $8,000 by an automated machine that wrongfully showed her she was parked there for three years. She was there for 45 minutes. She could prove it on her phone and everything else. Glendale Memorial Hospital. She went for a screening. So it was unpleasant enough because she was dealing with a potential health issue. And then she got hit with an $8,000 charge. She actually had to fight it. She tried reasoning with the parking attendant and the attendant was like, I don’t know. So, yeah, we got a lot more on the way. Stick with us. So this is the that was the DHS Penske truck. So there’s this huge story where Penske trucks arrived at a Home Depot in MacArthur Park. This is in L.A. and they were doing some immigration enforcement and Penske got all mad and they issued a statement saying that that’s not what our trucks are for. Nobody even like said that Penske even need to issue it. Welcome to the show. Dana Lash with you. Penske wanted to make very clear that it did not authorize DHS use of its trucks in an immigration raid. Does Penske put out statements about all of their customers? We do not condone the use of this truck for whatever purpose. They said we prohibit the transportation of people in the cargo area. Except, you know how many times that Penske’s trucks have been used to actually traffic people? hmm i mean it’s interesting that that’s because there’s a history of it it’s all over social media first off why did they feel the need to to issue a statement why why did they feel the need to issue a statement Listen to this. This is from, oh, April of 2023. Border agents find 58 illegal aliens crammed in a Penske truck and alleged human smuggling. Hmm. And they didn’t just use Penske trucks, actually. The human trafficking ring also used Penske tractor trailers. They used all Penske everything. They’re brand loyal.
SPEAKER 03 :
So did Penske even put a statement out then?
SPEAKER 02 :
No, no, no. Three people were sent to prison. Here’s another one. This is in October of 2020. Three people were sent to prison for smuggling 24 people in a Penske truck. On September 26, 2019, authorities at the Bruny Immigration Checkpoint on Texas Highway 359 stopped a Penske truck. Yeah, and they had tons of people in the Penske truck. The inside measured 94 degrees.
SPEAKER 03 :
And then Penske put a statement on it.
SPEAKER 02 :
No, no. July 8th, 2019, human smuggler admits to transportation conspiracy involving Chinese nationals. They used Penske trucks. Oh, goodness. I mean, I got a lot of these. Do you want me to keep going? Because, I mean, I could go for quite a while.
SPEAKER 03 :
On that Chinese one, did they put a statement on it?
SPEAKER 02 :
No, no. There’s no statement at all whatsoever. No. They just decided, like Penske doesn’t take issue with that. But oh my gosh, because it was ICE, Penske was all, the Penske truck rental, this is their statement that they put out yesterday. Quote, Penske truck rental is aware of recent reports and videos regarding a Department of Homeland Security operation in Los Angeles. Penske strictly prohibits the transportation of people in the cargo area of its vehicles unless they’re used by actual human traffickers smuggling people in across the border illegally. The company was not made aware that its trucks would be used in actual enforcement of law because we don’t support that. Penske will reach out to DHS and reinforce our policy of lawlessness to avoid improper legal use of its vehicles for law enforcement purposes in the future. Signed, Penske. Imagine that, man.
SPEAKER 03 :
It’s good of them to weigh in on it.
SPEAKER 02 :
Yeah. I mean, in April of 2023, DHS in Texas found 58 illegal aliens crammed in the back of a Penske truck in El Paso. Hey, Kane, do you want to see a picture of all these illegal aliens in a Penske truck? Penske, Penske, Penske.
SPEAKER 03 :
I’m sure they put a statement on it.
SPEAKER 02 :
No, that’s a photo from it right there. That was just in April of 23. Wow, they don’t condone that. I mean, I thought that Penske doesn’t support people in the truck part of our trucks.
SPEAKER 03 :
They don’t condone that.
SPEAKER 02 :
No, there was no statement from Penske on that. That was in April of 23. All those people crossing illegally. In a Penske truck. Weird. So weird how that. Why did they not? Why did they issue a statement? Who’s the moron that was like, you know what? I don’t like enforcement of law. I’m going to issue a statement because I just think this is wrong. And then it just blows open their hypocrisy on having always refused to issue statements in the past. There was nothing from Penske. In all of these years, with all of these, like for instance, the April 23rd one, 58 people illegally entering the country, crammed in the back of a Penske truck. The guy who was running it was an illegal immigrant from Mexico. He faces tons of human smuggling charges. Penske was just silent as a church mouse. We ain’t saying nothing on that. So weird. They had no tweets or anything out there. How weird is that? Hmm. No, they’re fine if it’s Penske. It’s fine if it’s illegal aliens. Penske, the choice, the truck of choice for human trafficking illegal aliens. Where are the memers on that? That’s one for you. I mean, also, this, and the government, no one ever said the government was putting people in the truck. Where did that come from? You know, ICE has equipment and stuff, right? No one ever said ICE was going to put them in a truck. Penske just made that up out of the ether. No one ever said, I guess Penske’s like, well, everybody else uses our trucks to put people in it, so why wouldn’t ICE? ICE never said that that was the purpose of it.
SPEAKER 03 :
I think they might have been talking about the ICE agents coming out of the truck in a surprise sort of raid type thing where they’re all in the back and they roll up and ICE agents come out of the back of the truck. I think that’s what they’re talking about.
SPEAKER 02 :
That was like for five seconds.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER 02 :
That was like a staged thing.
SPEAKER 03 :
But they had to make sure we knew how they felt about it.
SPEAKER 02 :
I mean, guys at Penske, we should do fake Penske commercials, I think. Here at Penske, our trucks are only to be used in human trafficking by illegal aliens. That’s the Penske way. And it shows all these illegal aliens sitting in the back of a truck, like the one I just showed you, April the 23rd. Penske approves of this. But if ICE is involved, no way, man. So this is Democrats move. They’re going to try to divide on illegal immigration by making you hate ICE and by portraying Trump as like some kind of dictator because he’s enforcing the law. Oh, my gosh. Just like the mere enforcement of basic law sets these people off. It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t. These are the same people that defecate their drawers if you send illegal aliens up to Martha’s Vineyard. Oh my gosh. There’s this – I was reading about this little bougie store that they have. I’m not going to go back and read and find the article because it killed brain cells. So it’s been like several summers in a row. I’ve never been to Martha’s Vineyard. I’ve never been up there. Never been up there. I’m sure it’s lovely. I just don’t have a desire to go. And there’s apparently like some bougie – it’s not like a supermarket. It’s like – I don’t know what else to call it. A wine and cheese store. Let me just put it like that. I don’t even know if they have wine, but it’s like one of those bougie little type of boutique stores, right? And everything is ridiculously overpriced. Like a jar of jelly is maybe $15. Something ridiculous. I don’t know. And it’s all supposed to be sourced from the area or whatever. And some of the people in the area were getting mad because the tourist… Were coming in and buying stuff. And it was driving up the prices. And so they’ve been mad about it. And sassy about it. And there’s all these little articles written. And it’s just one of the dumbest things in the world. And those are the people I’m talking about. They got so mad. When they had all these illegal aliens that showed up. And then they immediately. Call the National Guard. We’ve got to call the people with guns that we hate. To come and take care of the people we claim to love. They had those people out within 24 hours. But here, like this, though, it’s the same thing. It’s the same hypocrisy. Penske. They hate ICE, but they have no problem with illegal immigrants. Hmm. I feel like buying just like a random truck and spray painting Penske on it and just going out and doing just like all kinds of like Ozark stuff with it, you know, going full on Ozark. Let’s just see how far we can get. You know, this is so stupid. These people, but no, they had no statements for any of that stuff. None at all whatsoever. And that’s fine. They can do what they want to. Yeah. The chat says Penske, the truck of the cartels. It’s like how Toyota was ISIS’s truck, right? Right. So Penske’s the choice of truck for cartels. Do you need to smuggle people across the border? Penske’s got a truck for you. And that’s like some poor sales guy like and this is how many people you can fit in the back of this Penske. Look, if you just have them all in standing, standing up shoulder to shoulder, you can fit X amount in. It’s almost sounds like diagram of slave ships that I read about as a kid in history class, right? That’s exactly what they’re doing with people in these trucks. And Democrats are like, yay, more people to pick our cotton. They’re all excited about it. More people to clean our toilets. Yay. That’s how Democrats look at it. Who’s going to do those jobs? They tell you this. So they just look at the parallels. They bring people in in Penske trucks, packed in like sardines. Where else did that happen in history, where people were packed in like sardines on vessels, transporting them across water and land in order to get to a life of indentured servitude? That really sounds fascinating. Sounds so familiar, Cain. If only we were an educated populace and knew more about history than we did about Real Housewives of… But, I don’t know. Just saying. So, I’m just going to throw that out there. It’s fascinating stuff, Cain. It’s fascinating stuff.
SPEAKER 03 :
Sometimes, some things never change.
SPEAKER 02 :
I mean, you know. Yeah. Good night. So the Penske people, I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ve ever used a Penske truck. We’ve used trucks like moving and stuff before, but I’ve never used them. All right. So ICE is offering a 50,000 signing bonus and student loan forgiveness to new hires. Nobody wants to do that job because they’re so unappreciated. I mean, I’m fine with paying people what they’re owed and what the market demands, right? That’s a job that you actually need someone with a specific skill set to fill.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Absurd Truth: South Park Goes After Trump AGAIN.
Dana reacts to South Park’s latest episode making fun of Kristi Noem, ICE and J.D. Vance, and also making references to “Fantasy Island”. Meanwhile, Penske releases a statement condemning DHS using their brand of trucks for immigration enforcement raids.
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