Join us in this episode as we dive into the latest absurd stories from Florida. Discover the tale of a man who attempted to use an alligator as legal representation and a flammable Land Rover that set the internet ablaze. We also touch on the controversial edits on Amazon Prime’s James Bond movie covers and the peculiar narratives spinning around public figures like Theo Vaughn. Unpack the absurdity of these latest happenings with Dana, featuring hilarious anecdotes that might make your jaw drop.
Passing the Mamdani numbers. What does AOC’s future have in store? Can Chuck Schumer hold on? All this and a great deal more analysis on Liberty Nation Radio this week.
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Author, columnist, managing editor of LibertyNation.com. Podcast host and conservative policy advocate. We dismiss history at our peril. Liberty Nation with Mark Angelides.
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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
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Okay, so… I don’t even know where to start with this one. A Florida man was arrested after trying to pay bail with an alligator he claimed was his lawyer. This is an actual story. I’m not even… I think it is. No, this is real. A 42-year-old man sparked chaos at the county jail. He stormed in shirtless, holding a live alligator. And… He said his gator had passed the bar. By the way, he was booked in with bond set at $7,000. The gator was safely released back into the wild. But the deputies did have to wrestle him down because he did try to climb over the desk with the gator. They did confiscate the gator. He said the alligator was his attorney, but the alligator is not licensed and is not able to practice law because it’s an alligator. He says he passed the bar. So a friend of mine said, that’s what you call a litigator. So bad. That’s so bad. We all just got shaken baby syndrome from that. So bad. I really don’t want to read this story, Cain. The people story. I don’t want to click on the link because I don’t want to see any of it. Did the dog make it, Cain? No, I’m not clicking it.
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From what I hear, he did. Is he okay? Is he going to be okay? I think so. But that was what I read last night. I don’t know if there’s any updates.
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You can give me the guy’s name because I’m not clicking this link. You know how I am with dogs. So a protective pit bull jumped in to shield a 15-year-old girl from a Florida man who then turned around and hurled the dog off a balcony. Second floor balcony. Okay, second floor. Maybe he can survive it. I personally volunteer. I will pay to do this. Give me 30 seconds in a locker room with him.
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Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office said the dog is expected to survive. So that’s what the story says. But yeah, I still say death penalty.
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I am all in donating to the commissary of any, if there’s any kind of prison justice that takes place against this feller. Yes. You guys know. I mean, I’m sure somebody needs snacks and cigarettes.
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Extra Snickers.
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Yeah, extra Snickers, cigarettes, whatever y’all need. You know, just saying. Let’s see. Oh my gosh. A Florida man bought a 2025 Land Rover Defender and then his gas tank exploded on the interstate. The woman said her husband’s defender caught fire. Wow. It was a terrifying incident. Now he said he’s never going to buy a Land Rover again. It was a viral video, half a million views, and brand new, driving down the Florida interstate, and it shows it engulfed in smoke and flames, fire consuming the sides, the undercarriage. You know, he has to get out, and it explodes. That’s kind of crazy. She said the first, the tire blew, and then the gas tank exploded, and then the whole vehicle was consumed by fire. like within a minute. Uh, so local, the dealership offered to find them another defender, but they said, no, that’s never happening. They apparently have a history of fire related recalls. So in 2023, they were called a one, a single one for a fire hazard, but then, uh, There was another issue that had to do with oil leaking into the exhaust manifold and others. And then Jaguar Land Rover had a huge recall last year affecting over 2,000 vehicles across six different SUV lines, including the Defender that’s from Motor Authority. And that involved the oil filter housings that could leak oil at really high pressure into the engine bay, and that creates a fire risk. So they’ve had some issues. So they said they… That’s kind of scary. Let’s see. Where do I want to? Oh, no. Dollar Tree. Oh, why is the Dollar Tree? And why is the grody dude from Dollar Tree in here twice? Because you really want me to read this story. Melbourne, Florida. A Florida man is accused of getting weird and pervy with a lady in the Dollar Tree. He was exposing himself and harassing her, Blake Walker Jones. He was totally arrested and felony battery as well. And he also has priors on this. Third hour on the way. Stick with us. All Family Pharmacy is a family owned business dedicated to helping you get the medications you need when you need them the most. With over 200 essential medications available, including antibiotics, antivirals, things like ivermectin, emergency kits and more. They have you covered for everything from daily prescriptions to biohacking support. Each order includes a doctor’s prescription, so there’s no hassle or middleman. Plus, with fast shipping options, including overnight delivery, your medications arrive quickly right to your door. And as flu season approaches, now is the time to stock your medicine cabinet with essentials like Tamiflu, antibiotics, and vitamins to help keep you and your family healthy. Being proactive with your health is smarter than reacting too late. And beyond basics, All Family Pharmacy offers biohacking products like NAD+, Methylene Blue, and so much more, all designed to boost energy, focus, immunity, and even weight management. Visit allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana and use code Dana10 to save 10% today. Don’t wait. Be ready for flu season with All Family Pharmacy. That’s allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana, code Dana10. Okay, go ahead and give me this Theo Vaughn thing. What is happening with Theo Vaughn? This is audio sound. Audio sound by 23. S’il vous plaît.
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Um… I would never take my own life. I would never take my own life. Okay? You hear that, Israel? I would never take my own life.
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Wait, what?
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I’m grateful to God for His grace in my life. Um… I love my siblings.
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Is Israel trying to get him or something?
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I have so many friends and people that love me and people that I want to see their children grow up.
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So apparently he’s like on the Marjorie Taylor Greene whatever wavelength and all of this stuff and I don’t know. Lorraine was saying that he has been like weaning himself off of his antidepressants but Steve and I couldn’t figure out if he was trolling or trying to make a joke but it seems like I guess he feels like he’s got to bend the knee and be like, I don’t know. Is that, that seems to be the vibe came.
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I think that there’s a narrative of, you know, people that he listens to and that he’s interacted with about somehow Israel being behind taking out Charlie Kirk. And I think, I think he is, you know, he’s just kind of buying into that and he mentions it in passing.
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He’s buying into a conspiracy theory made, created by a bunch of grifters who just need to hop to one outrage and lily pad and from the next outrage lily pad so that they can keep up the momentum that’s all it is accurate and so the fact that you have to have turning point actually release statements during a time when they’re grieving I mean these are people who were with him every day and worked with him and know him to try to like kick off some of these grifters who he hadn’t even talked to in a year it’s so stupid and notice how they’re all saying this without receipts all these people are running their mouths and they don’t have a single receipt So I’m just, this is what I don’t get from the left. They sit here, and the left right, I call them the woke right because these are all the people that make idols out of race and I just think, and ethnicity and sex and all that. I think when you do that, those are, that’s literally, that’s a Marxist theory in practice. That’s part of CRT, critical race theory, whether they are smart enough to recognize it or not. That’s like the Derrick Bell School of CRT. And he’s the guy who first… I’ve been writing about this for 20 years. He’s the guy who first introduced this to universities across the country. Well, maybe 15, not 20. But the point of this… is they feel like they’ve got to bend the knee. And to say all this stuff, especially about Charlie and all of that, it’s just a horrific, posthumous hijacking. People are trying to pick apart his legacy. and use the crumbs to inflate themselves. There’s no other better way to put it. I just don’t, these are all the same people that bitch and moan about AIPAC, and that’s the American-Israel confab. They complain about AIPAC, but then they are quite as church mice when it comes to Qatari money coming into the country, to the tune of billions upon billions upon billions of dollars. It’s a serious problem. And of course, interestingly enough, the universities, and we’ve talked about this quite often, at length, the universities that receive the most funding from Qatar are the ones where you get all of these kickoffs over anti-Semitism and Jewish students that can’t even walk into the building to go to class. I mean, we’ve seen like two years of this now. I feel like that’s a fair question. I get that some people, they’re on this like anti-Israel kick. I think some people do it because they’re actual anti-Semites and they just don’t like Jewish people. I think some people do it because they think it’s cool to be contrarian and they really don’t know what the hell is going on over there. I think other people do it because everybody’s so terribly, desperately trying to emulate Joe Rogan that they want to be considered experts in an area, they want to be considered experts in an industry in which they don’t actually have the depth in that particular, of that particular issue to be considered an expert on it or to even talk knowledgeably about it. I think it’s a lot of it. The people that genuinely criticize whether the way that the government has responded or, you know, et cetera, I think that there’s a difference between that and everything else that I’ve said. But I feel like people like Theo Vaughn, can you tell me the difference between Benjamin Netanyahu and Isaac Herzog? Can you tell me what Isaac Herzog does? No, none of these people can even talk about how the Israeli government is even structured. They can’t even tell you what policies have been passed since October 7th in terms of Israeli security. They have no idea what the hell they’re talking about. Here’s the issue. Do you honestly think that these Islamist countries whose asses you all kiss are going to be nicer to you than anybody else over there? You’re so busy trying to lie prostrate before these Islamist nations. For what? What is the purpose? Do you realize, and I agree with Tommy Robinson, when you have Israel falls to jihadism, everybody’s going to fall to jihadism. Is it better to have an ally over in the Middle East to take care of some of this stuff? so that we don’t have to send our loved ones to do it and expend more resources to do it? Or would you rather us just have to all do it ourselves over there and here? It’s a strategy that is realistic in the realistic world in which we live. I would love to be high as a kite as some of these jokers and buy into the kittens and sunshine BS that we don’t have to do any of this stuff. But guess what? We don’t get to control all of the variables. Just it just it just blows the mind. 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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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Wow. This is a headline. Cain always tries to find me the most depressing stories. And to start, I think you just want to see the reaction. So this dude is accused of decapitating a sea lion and putting its head in a plastic bag. He says they’re all lies. I really would love a pet sea lion. He says that the government circulated a photo of him seeking to identify a suspect accused of sawing off a sea lion’s head and carrying it away in a plastic bag. It’s the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s Fisheries Law Enforcement. Golly, could you shorten your department name? They released a photo. They offered a $20,000 reward. He’s like, he goes, I didn’t do it. I did not decapitate this animal. He said he was at the beach with his daughter. But there was a Monterey resident who said, I literally saw you and your daughter and you were leaning over this thing, prodding it with a knife. So I don’t know. He apparently told her, we’re just taking the head. And he wanted the skull, I guess, to dry it. so was it already dead or did he kill the thing and then cut his head off because if he killed the thing and cut his head off i’m all about tying a giant stone to his feet and then throwing him out into the bay all for that so i don’t know i just think people also need to chill a bit just a smidgen let’s see poor sleep can age your brain by a year according to studies but what if you’re a person who only needs like six hours of sleep i can’t sleep longer than six hours Because then I feel like I’m being punished because I just have to lay there and like I can’t go back to sleep. And it’s like when you’re a little kid and you’re told to go take a nap and you lay there and you’re like, this is not happening for me. I’m not a napper. So I don’t know. This is obvious, though. Healthy sleep, blah, blah, blah. How many more studies do you need? Google reveals home AI that can see if your kids stay up past bedtime and it can even fix the dishwasher. Look at that. It’s exchanging surveillance data. for a favor. It’s trying to buy off your you just completely accepting surveillance with, well, I can fix the dishwasher. Also, I got some new gadgets. Y’all like some gadgets, right? So you get surveillance for gadgets. That’s the big thing. That’s why I don’t like all the talking stuff on the… I don’t even like Siri being on. It’s weird. A pet owner forced a driver to kill his dog to dig the dog’s grave at gunpoint. Where’s the problem? This is a New York Post story. Alberto Hernandez, 22. Yeah. I don’t see what the… I didn’t see anything. What? What’s the problem? Ooh, speaking of hands, guys. What? I looked this up because I did not believe it. I did not believe this to be true. And it is. So, Amazon… has been removing firearms from the thumbnail images of certain movies, particularly James Bond. James Bond films have arrived today on Amazon, and everybody knows there’s something strange about them. See, what’s strange about these? Why are their hands so weird looking? Look at how weird. Can you, Juan, could you perchance zoom in on the Sean Connery one? Or the Pierce Brosnan one? One of the two. Some are worse than others. So you can find all of the, and I like James Bond, you can find all of the James Bond movies now on Amazon. But there’s something missing. What a weird looking hand. That’s because they took the gun out of it. They digitally removed all the guns from the James Bond films and now they all have wank hands. You heard me. I said what I said. It’s weird looking. All of them do. And they all have this weird, which makes their facial expressions even odder. Especially Sean Connery’s and Pierce Brosnan’s like, yeah, what? And Sean Connery’s is like, yeah, and? It’s just very odd. They edited all of the Bond, James Bond guns out of the posters because usually it features them and they’re always holding a weapon. But now they’re not. So like Dr. No, he’s just there with wank hand. I don’t know how else to put it. I’m not Dora the Explorer. Don’t have me babysit your kids. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. So wait a minute. You’re telling me that someone in their bid to watch a guy go and murder gruesomely all the baddies, they’re going to be upset over the image of a gun in the little avatar on the screen, the selection screen on Amazon? Uh-huh. Did Tim Walz come up with this rule? Is this a Tim Walz thing? They’ve always featured the leading actor holding a gun. And… Now they’re on Prime Video and now they don’t have the guns anymore. It is the dumbest thing I’ve actually ever seen. It’s so bad. This is so dumb. What’s your license for? They all look gay now. They all look like a bunch of gay dudes. I’m actually not sorry. They all look like a bunch of gays. This is so dumb. I thought this, this, I thought it was a joke and I looked it up and it is true. It is a true thing. So if you go on Amazon prime and you’re looking at the James Bond, they all look like, well, I said what I said. I, this is so, this is, this is, I can’t. Can you get anything to add?
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Why God’s name? Would I, why would I, Not at all.
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I mean, at least give them a cannoli to hold or something, you know. Give one of them an ice cream cone, something.
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Yeah, that’s better than the cannoli, I think.
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I mean, it’s better than just a bunch of these posters where they’re just so bad. It’s so bad. Why do this to James Bond? Why would they do this? So all of them are, I don’t.
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So did they get rid of him in the movie too? Just the thumbnail, huh?
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He’s going to nag you to death. That’s what’s going to happen. I don’t. I can’t. Yeah, Steve.
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What are they trying to prevent is my question. If you’re already watching the movie, it’s in the movie. Isn’t the thumbnail to get you into the movie? It seems like they’re doing a reverse type of thing here.
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These aren’t brand new movies either.
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Yeah, I don’t actually know. That’s a great question. Are they going to, he’s just going to just be shooting air at them? I don’t know. I’m very confused by all of this. It makes me think of that Godfather scene. Look how they massacred my boy. That’s what I’m thinking of right now. Oh, my gosh. This is so bad. Oh, my gosh. What are they going to do with, like, Never Say Never? Like that one where he’s pointing, like, right, like, what are they going to do? What are they going to do? This is so bad. Oh, my gosh. Can you just stop with the bonds? Stop messing with them. And Steve brings up a good point. Are you going to be watching the movie and go, woo?
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How did the gun get in there? I didn’t think there was going to be a gun in the James Bond movie. I thought he was just going to nag the baddies to death.
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I don’t know. Shaken, not stirred. A whole new meaning. So I could go on. I know. You did say the damn wankies. I did. And on X, you did do that. I did. Okay. I mean, he’s a spy, and he uses lethal force to kill bad dudes. So you wait. Do you think it’s insensitive to have the gun, but then the killing’s totally sensible? Yeah. what is the what are the the thought olympics that go through the head of the people who are like oh yeah i gotta take the gun out that’s just senseless but the killing about that’s in the movie is totally senseful it’s just doesn’t make any sense to me these people are so stupid Oh my gosh, what’s happening?
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Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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