Join us as we delve into the bizarre tales of gators in sewage pipes and the perplexing strategies employed by Democrats in their latest outreach campaigns. Dana Lash dissects these stories with her trademark humor and incisive analysis, questioning the logic behind performative theatrics like land acknowledgements during critical events. This episode promises not only to entertain but to provoke thought about today’s socio-political landscape.
Listen as students and young adults interview well-respected CEOs on our national radio show, realworldleaders.org, to learn secrets for success and how to use them to propel their careers.
SPEAKER 03 :
I think it was really inspiring how Mr. Levin just keeps on wanting to grow and learn more from the people around him, his peers and his advisor, his father even.
SPEAKER 05 :
Anya, how do you want to grow?
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, I’m also trying to grow my communications. I just became the communications chair of my school’s TA, student government.
SPEAKER 05 :
Hey, Brett, this thing about communication, how important is that? And how important is for Anya to continue to develop these communication skills?
SPEAKER 10 :
It’s so important. And I think today, as kids, you have your cell phones in your hands all the time and learn how to look people in the eye, publicly speak and talk to people.
SPEAKER 01 :
To hear more and to help us introduce your high school, GED, work-ready and college students to our CEOs, visit our website at realworldleaders.org. That’s realworldleaders.org.
SPEAKER 09 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Caltech.
SPEAKER 08 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 04 :
Some of these headlines I got today. All right. So first up, I’m telling you what, this is scary. If I lived in Florida and I love you, Florida, I love vacationing in you. I love your food. I love going down there at 30A. I like going. I mean, the whole every part of it, no matter what part of it is all beautiful. You’re all’s water is. I mean, it’s terrifying because the stuff that’s in it. In your sewers, municipal employees were doing a routine inspection. Routine inspection. Oh, we got to go look at this pipe. It’s underneath this Florida road. Let’s send a little camera down there just to see. Oh, my gosh. There’s a gator sitting in the pipe like a people. He’s sitting there like a people. Look at him.
SPEAKER 1 :
What?
SPEAKER 04 :
Juan’s got, I think Juan’s got it. It’s a, they were looking, it’s this concrete pipe and they were looking to see like what, you know, the structure, et cetera, et cetera. You know, as one, as, as, as skilled workers would do. And they lowered this camera down there and they saw a gator. It looked, it legit looks like he’s sitting up. I can’t even say the city’s name, but they posted a photo to Facebook showing the image of the gator. And they used this remote-controlled camera to check the pipe. You know, they were looking for cracks and leaks and things like that. Oh, but then there’s more. They also had video of him later walking around. The pipes were fine, but he’s just walking around. See, he’s, look at him with these, just sitting like a people. He’s sitting there chilling in the pipe. Can you imagine? Now, that’s a sewage pipe. I don’t know. Like, is he going to come up in somebody’s toilet? I don’t know. I’m just saying. They also kind of want to chill with you at your house, too. Not this particular gator, but one of his friends. An alligator. Another alligator. Not the one that we had last week that knocked on someone’s door. This is a new gator knocking on someone’s door. Come and knock on my door. He got stuck in a folding chair. He needed some help. Lee County Sheriff’s Office posted a video to social media. A gator was visiting front porches in Tortuga and their deputies had to come because he got his head stuck in a folding chair. And as he approached the front door, he had the chair on his head and it was hitting the door. It was almost like he was signaling for help. So clearly the homeowner did not try to do it themselves. They called the professionals to come and help. My gosh, our partners over at All Family Pharmacy You want affordable medications and you don’t want big pharma being the gatekeeper. This is where All Family Pharmacy comes in. They’re offering a summer sale 20% off of your entire order. And this includes your daily medications. It includes things like ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine, antibiotics, everything 20% off site-wide right now. No insurance required. Licensed doctors in all 50 states. And you get fast shipping right to your front door. All good things. Emergency kits as well. Everything in two to four days. Overnight delivery in a pinch if you need it as well. This is such a great website. I cannot recommend it enough. I am a user of it. I always tell people about it. It’s allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana. This is where I go. Get 20% off using promo code Dana20. And don’t let Big Pharma gatekeep. That’s allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana. Coupon code Dana20 to save 20%.
SPEAKER 09 :
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SPEAKER 07 :
Of course we should be talking about how, yeah, if, you know, Speaker Johnson got his way, it wouldn’t be possible, not just for gay people to get married, but for straight people to get divorced, let alone like birth control or how he would want to regulate porn or whatever people, most people would have a problem with.
SPEAKER 04 :
But… What the hell is he talking about? I mean, if Speaker Johnson got his way, all the gay people would be just illegal. That’s… He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, guys. It’s the former mayor’s secretary, new mom, vice admiral of the canoe fleet over at Camp Wimpy Tonka, Poot Booty Juice. Wait, hold up. Don’t criticize how I say his name because our former illustrious president who had all of his brain cells, all of them, that’s how he said his name. And that’s the gold standard by which I operate, ladies and gentlemen. Dana Lash with you. Welcome back. We’re at the bottom of this first hour. He says that it’s they should that Johnson was he was going to make it to where gay people couldn’t do anything and straight people couldn’t get divorced. And yeah, I don’t I don’t know what he’s basing that off of. Imagine like you just do a live stream and say whatever the hell you can. Can you imagine if I actually took to air not knowing anything about which I was discussing and just rambled and just incoherently pulled stuff out of the ether just to suit whatever, you know. Yeah, I would be held—I mean, they go with me all the time. I’ve been on air for three hours every day for years. I have a beat reporter assigned to me at Media Matters. Yes, they would find out something if I said anything incorrect. If they don’t even like it, they go after me. I mean, to hell with it being incorrect. But if you’re a Democrat, you can just— Yeah, well, Mike Johnson’s going to make all the—he’s going to illegal all the gays and— and the straight people, they can’t get divorced or have white claws. It’s going to be so bad. Can you imagine having a 4th of July with no white claws? So bad. But that’s what it’s like listening to him every time he opens his mouth to give a perspective. It’s like drunk without the alcohol. It’s what you feel like. So if you’ve never had a drop, it feels like that. You’re listening and you’re like, am I sober? Is this supposed to make sense? I don’t know. So it feels like. But but, you know, he’s he’s he’s trying to get he’s working hard on behalf of the Dems because guys, they’re going to have to they’re going to have to try to talk to dudes and You know, the party that was like toxic masculinity is now going, wait, but wait, we messed up. Oops. That’s where they’re at right now. So they said that they’re spending $20 million trying to connect with dudes by studying their syntax. S-Y-N-T-X. Yeah, whatever that means. That’s what they want to do. Audio soundbite nine. Listen to this. This is one strategist literally saying exactly this.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, good questions. One, let me save the folks from the Times and all the other great print outlets some time. If you dig in on what Democrats are researching right now, you’re going to find a lot of silly stuff. You’re going to find people asking a lot of questions, people asking about syntax and do I drop the G for this word and this and that. And there’s going to be a lot of that. So let me just warn everybody, that process is going to be very obnoxious for this 40-something. I would also say we’re really talking about young men, right? Young men who Democrats have not figured out a consistent pitch for how to get them.
SPEAKER 04 :
They’re toxic. And then women can be men. I mean, you know, you guys have have kicked them around for the better part of 40 years. Whether it was the Title IX stuff, whether it was promoting women over men in the name of false equality, whatever it was, you guys have attacked dudes for endlessly, for forever. Toxic masculinity. Dudes that are young Gen Z are terrified to even date chicks because of everything that the left has done. So, yeah, $20 million they think is going to help band-aid that error. So after impugning their characters, again, for the better part of 40 years, now Democrats are going, wait, we messed up. Hold up. Here’s an excerpt. For now, Democratic donors and strategists have been gathering at luxury hotels to discuss how to win back working-class voters, commissioning new projects that read like anthropological studies of people from faraway places. The prospectus for one new $20 million effort obtained by The Times aims to reverse the ocean of Democratic support amongst young men, especially online. It’s codenamed SAM. short for Speaking with American Men, a Strategic Plan, and promises investment to, quote, study the syntax, language, and content that gains attention and virality in these spaces. And it recommends buying advertisements in video games, amongst other things. All they know is that younger dudes play games, and they’re like, something, something, games. You can’t just buy an ad. You know why the Democrats have not been successful in gaming? Because they don’t play them. And Republicans haven’t been successful because they’re a bunch of damn cowardly tipper gores who want to put explicit lyrics on everything. These people that attack video games, oh my gosh, it’s like I’m watching Tipper Gore 2.0. for the love no that you can’t fake it you cannot fake it that’s you’re either in that community or you’re not that’s not one that is not a community that you can fake it with but what is this to study the syntax what does that mean kane what the hell does that mean what does it even mean it’s there that’s the language they want to they want to hijack it they want to understand it but they’re acting like they’re foreign like species right like we have to talk like these aliens
SPEAKER 08 :
How you do, fellow kids?
SPEAKER 04 :
Why, hello, fellow male. They tried that once with that ad. Remember that ad where that, they all look like rapists. They all look like soft rapists. That Democrat ad that they were, whoa, oh man, hang on, hang on, hang on.
SPEAKER 08 :
Their version of masculine.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, yeah, I’m a masculine man or something like that. What, oh, da, da, da, da, da, da. Is this is this it? Oh, I got to find it. No, there’s one where it’s the voting one. They came out with one ad where it was like men that were bullying their women into voting. And then there was the one where you had this one guy who he looked like a bottom and he was sitting on a truck going, I’m a manly man. I’m like, no, you’re not. No, you’re not. You’re not. You only the only person who probably buys more lube than you is Diddy. No, you’re not. You know what I’m talking about, though? I’m sorry. I can’t just now. And every single dude in that ad, they looked it was they were all terrifying. That was the that was the. Attempt that they had I guess at trying to talk to dudes in it horrified dudes Yes, the that ad that Steve just put on there. Yes. That is it. That is the ad that is literally it and and I mean, again, it’s also the party that had David Hogg as their vice chair. Yeah, they had those weird, like, I like steak. I’m a man. Men like bourbon. Therefore, I like bourbon. So you’re going to think I’m a man. Like, you guys, Juan’s putting it up for you. My favorite was the guy who was sitting like a pageant queen on the back of a truck. Yeah, and then you have the one guy. I can’t believe that they got these lines out without laughing to death.
SPEAKER 08 :
I think he actually said, I eat trannies for breakfast. If you remember that line, he said, I eat trannies.
SPEAKER 04 :
Yeah, it was the guy in the cowboy hat.
SPEAKER 06 :
Man enough to deadlift 500 and bring the shit out of my daughter’s head.
SPEAKER 02 :
You think I’m afraid to rebuild a carburetor?
SPEAKER 06 :
I eat carburetors for breakfast.
SPEAKER 04 :
Like the one guy in the orange shirt. He’s sitting like a pageant queen. That guy looks like he beats his wife. That guy looks like that guy right there. And then who’s the prospector? Where the hell does this guy come from? They just got me out of the valley. I was prospecting for gold. But this is what I mean. And look, he ripped his sleeves off. You know, he went to like urban outfitters and got that shirt. That guy, his arms weren’t, but this guy right here. Who, can I just say, what man sits like this? I mean, it’s rhetorical, but none of them do. Look at him. He’s like tweaking. This guy.
SPEAKER 08 :
I sit like that when I’ve.
SPEAKER 04 :
He’s in an orange polo and he’s sitting on the back of a truck and he’s turned and he’s got his hands on his leg like he’s a pageant queen. And he’s like, oh, you better believe I’m a man or I’m going to beat you. That’s his whole aura. I’m going to beat you vibes from that? Well, yeah. I don’t know. Silence of the Lambs. It puts the lotion in the basket. He’s totally giving me those vibes.
SPEAKER 08 :
I said a little like that.
SPEAKER 04 :
And then you’ve got the DMX wannabe who’s sitting there like, I’ll braid the whatever out of my daughter’s hair. And I’m just like, shut up. What is the matter with you? No dudes talk like this. They just do it. Right? I mean, if you have to sit here and tell people that you’re a manly dude, men know this. Men know immediately that you’re not. And Democrats are like, the prospector kills me every time I see him because the shirt is just over the top. God love him. But I’m just trying to understand why Democrats think that they have to spend $20 million because I’m pretty sure this ad was several million dollars. How much do you think that ad was to make, Cain?
SPEAKER 08 :
Those are all actors. From a production standpoint, it looks about, what, 8,000 won? Probably get that done with about 8,000, because there’s no names in it, so you’re not paying them much at all. So maybe 15,000 tops.
SPEAKER 04 :
Totally looks like California that they were in.
SPEAKER 08 :
But they probably spent a million on this. It’s like $15,000 production.
SPEAKER 04 :
They had it well in that ripped off shirt for the prospector. They had to go, you know. They had to go probably get him that shirt at Urban Outfitters.
SPEAKER 08 :
They gave him nuggets, gold nuggets.
SPEAKER 04 :
He got so mad, his sleeves just poof, came right off. They shot out the side like projectiles. And that guy, that guy was the meanest one of them all. But this is what Dems, my point is that Dems did this ad. This guy right here, look at his sleeves. I’m sorry, that’s fake. Why do you cut yourself? Why do you just like put a wife beater on, man?
SPEAKER 08 :
They paid him in mining equipment.
SPEAKER 04 :
I bet he hates himself now. You know that. And the way that he moved, that dude’s an actor. And I’m all for it. But if you’re going to wear a shirt like that, I feel like, you know, after we lost Joan Rivers, I feel like I need to rise to that occasion and fill that need from time to time the best way that I can, knowing that I’m nowhere near close to her brilliance. But someone’s got to step in and talk about this. Like, the hell? I see that and I’m like, what happened to your sleeves? Did your muscles get so mad they blew them off? Like what happened? I don’t get it. Stop. That guy’s an actor. They’re all actors. Like there was an article that talked about how they were all hired from an agency. None of these people are real. This guy probably never rode a damn bike in his life. And he’s like, I’m working on my bike. And he’s got his, you know, he probably don’t even know what his tools are. The whole point is that Democrats tried this before. They did this ad. They did like three ads last cycle. And how did they show men? The first one was they did an ad where they were trying to show conservative men, Republican men, like they were going to beat their wives if they didn’t vote for Trump, right? For the love. And then they’re like, well, I guess we better walk it back. We need to appeal to men instead of, I guess, making them look like they’re horrible people. And so they did this ad that made them look like they’re horrible people. The most unlikable actors. It’s like they went to the agency. Yes. Give me the most unlikable actors you have. I want women to flinch when they see them on the screen. That’s what I want. That’s what we’re going for. Yes, Kane.
SPEAKER 08 :
I think they literally thought, let’s get a cross section of what we think MAGA looks like. And we’re going to message that way. Like we’re going to message as though we’re reaching out to the MAGA crowd.
SPEAKER 04 :
I mean, it’s just so shallow. Yes, I can deadlift this, and then I can braid my daughter’s hair. Like, one excludes the other. I don’t think he quite understands the concept of chivalry. Oh, my gosh. It’s just I can’t stand this. So they’re spending 20 million donor dollars. Let me clarify that. So Democrats get donations. So the people who have been donating to the Democrat Party, whatever brain trust brought you those ads, those are the people that are going to be trying to refine their messaging to dudes. Oh, this is I want them to know you want them to do this. We want them to do this. I’m just picture it. content gold oh my gosh we’re gonna make so much fun of this it’s gonna be insane and if they and if they have secretary new mom vice admiral of the the canoe fleet rear vice admiral of canoe fleet camp wimpy tonka yeah yeah yeah booty juice if they have him spearheading this oh please for the love of all things holy let this happen i don’t ask for a lot no hold up i asked for a dotson for my birthday and i didn’t get one so at least give me the and i asked it for wick my rescue dog i was like he needs a dog It makes so much sense because he does wink. He does. I didn’t get that. So can I have this? Can I have this? Mother’s Day was last month, like earlier this month. It’s not over yet. I can still get like a belated Mother’s Day. So this could happen and we could see have poop booty juice leading this and the messaging would be endless. Oh, my gosh, guys. Like I am here for the summer of of sis. I am totally here for that. The only Christian conservative cell phone service that is out there that’s in existence. And they want to save you money. Yes, they have great service. Yes, you can work with a member of their 100% US-based customer service team. And you can also get a free month of service using promo code Dana. It’s time to make the switch. You can defend freedom with every call and text that you make. It’s so easy to do. This is a carrier that fights for your values. This is a carrier that also has plans for every single budget type. It doesn’t matter. Families of all sizes, businesses, singles, whatever it is, they have something for you. And they also, again, don’t spend your money against you at the ballot box. Super easy to switch. If my mother can do it, it takes minutes to do it. You can as well. You just simply visit PatriotMobile.com slash Dana, or you can call 972-PATRIOT and get a whole free month of service using promo code Dana. Super easy to switch. Defend freedom with every call and text that you make. Very easy. PatriotMobile.com slash Dana. 972-PATRIOT. Promo code Dana for that free month of service.
SPEAKER 08 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 04 :
A St. Louis man was arrested after sitting naked in the St. Louis Terminal Airport. Did they ever remove the plywood from the windows from that tornado some years ago? I asked them that three years after the tornado hit and Lambert, the official ex-account, went at me. They hire the best. The St. Louis County Circuit Judge signed an arrest warrant for a guy who sat naked inside of the airport terminal. A probable cause statement. It happened on April 25th, Terminal 1. The guy’s named Darius Walker. He attempted to cover himself when somebody approached. He was sitting in the terminal chair, belt unbuckled. So it sounds like he had clothes. If his belt was unbuckled… Maybe the people at Fox 2 now, maybe they could write a decent story that clarifies this before they finalize a headline. That would be super helpful for people trying to share the news. Meanwhile, let’s see if the New York Post did one better. A seven-year-old boy drove his little sister nine miles in his mom’s SUV to get a McDonald’s Happy Meal. That’s a good big brother. Wait, no, it’s not. Stop. You’re seven years old. You can’t be driving a car. He drove his sister nine miles, his little baby sister. And the mom was shocked. She goes, he’s probably grounded for the rest of his life. They were in Utah, and it was 8 a.m., and police were called. They were alerted to a reckless driver, and the SUV did not come to a stop until they hit a parking strip, and they found a 7-year-old and a 5-year-old inside unscathed. And they made it 9 miles from their home, cash in hand to buy Happy Meals. That’s going to be a story they’re going to tell for the rest of their lives. Thankfully, nobody was hurt. But can I just ask, how in the hell you, mom, did not know that your kids had taken the car and driven nine miles away when they’re seven and five years old? Oh, I can’t be judgmental. Yes, because I’ve had two kids like that separated that age distance. I think I would know if my kids took my car and drove to McDonald’s. So I don’t know like what was happening in that house. I mean, watch your kids. Let’s see. This AI of dead Arizona road rage victim addresses killer in court. They use this in court. A clip of a guy who was killed in 2021 said, I believe in forgiveness after his sister fed an AI model videos of him and they used it in court. I don’t like that at all. And that should not, I don’t think that should be allowed. That is creepy. And that is really creepy. I know. And how? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Uh, I, I, I don’t know. We got a couple headlines in here repeatedly. Let’s see. Going back up. A tourist was bitten by a crocodile while taking a selfie at a zoo because he thought the animal was fake. Well, in his defense, they do say very still. They do. He was 29 years old. But his problem was that he literally climbed into the enclosure. And he was promptly bitten by a female crocodile. He thought it was fake. And so he climbed into the enclosure to get a photo with it. But again, it was fake. The zookeeper had to go in and hit the crocodile in the head to get her to open her mouth. And he got more than 50 stitches for his injuries. And I hope that they billed him for any injuries to the crocodile since he climbed into the enclosure. Goodness.
SPEAKER 02 :
Good afternoon. I am Corporal Carly McCann, Provincial Public Information Officer for the Nova Scotia RCMP. Thank you all for being here today. First, I acknowledge that we are in Mi’kma’ki, the traditional and unceded ancestral territory of the Mi’kmaq people. I also recognize that African Nova Scotians are a distinct people whose histories, legacies, and contributions have enriched that part of Mi’kma’ki, known as Nova Scotia, for over 400 years.
SPEAKER 04 :
This is the equivalent of throwing the Virgin in the volcano to appease the fire gods. That’s exactly what that is. So that’s the police. They were holding a press conference on missing kids. What? Yeah. Yeah. They were holding a press conference on two missing kids and they started off with a land acknowledgement. Shut up. I don’t care what stupid land you’re on. That’s so dumb. You’re talking about missing kids. First, we can’t get started until we acknowledge that we’re on the missing lands of the Lilliputian people. And we have to thank the Lilliputians for allowing us to have this press conference here before we start talking about the missing kids, which are actually not as important as acknowledging the Lilliputians. That’s how dumb this sounds. You’re talking about missing kids, like little kids, a six-year-old and a four-year-old. They’ve been missing in rural Canada for four days. And they had rescuers combing the woods looking for them. And it is the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. That’s the RCMP that she mentioned. And they had helicopters, everything. But they could not start until they did a land acknowledgement. That… These are not serious people. I have literally never heard that since this is such it’s a performative theater. It is performative theater. You have time is critical. Two kids are missing. Families have their hearts broken. And this stooge broad gets up there. Oh, we’re going to do it. What? What? What? This doesn’t even make any sense. Is it? She sounds she sounds like a hostage video. That’s so… That is… I’m just shocked. I don’t know, man. That’s… Can you imagine if you’re the family and you’ve got… You know, your kids are missing and you have the police lady get up there and go, oh, well, we recognize that we are on the land of the Lilliputians and, you know, that’s what… That’s crazy. It’s… They didn’t start up talking about the kids. They started talking about that. I mean, again, it’s performative as all get out. It’s so incredibly performative. I don’t know. I don’t know how long that lady’s been on the force or not, but good heavens. I just shocked me. It shocked me. I don’t understand the land acknowledgements. Nobody cares about land acknowledgement. Everybody stole land from everybody and you didn’t steal it. It was conquered. You went in and you either moved and acclimated or you got conquered. People have been conquered all throughout history. Whenever anybody talks about Mount Rushmore, well, guess what? The Lakota took it from someone. Who did you steal it from? Lakota stole it. Who did they steal? They took it from Chippewa. Where did they take it before that? I mean, it’s so stupid. Just quit. What does any of that have to do with missing kids? Sorry, we have to pay the indulgence of mentioning these people before we can start talking about the bigger story of literal missing children. And you wonder why Canada is circling the crapper. That’s why. Good heavens.
SPEAKER 09 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Absurd Truth: Young Male Syntax
Join us as we delve into the bizarre tales of gators in sewage pipes and the perplexing strategies employed by Democrats in their latest outreach campaigns. Dana Lash dissects these stories with her trademark humor and incisive analysis, questioning the logic behind performative theatrics like land acknowledgements during critical events. This episode promises not only to entertain but to provoke thought about today’s socio-political landscape.
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