SPEAKER 01 : 0:01

Welcome to The Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with The Good News, here’s Angie.

SPEAKER 03 : 0:09

Hey there, friend, Angie Austin and Jim Stovall, and we are talking about his winner’s wisdom column this week, Life on the High Wire. Hey, Jim, how are you? I am great. How are you doing today? You know, we just got back from Boston, and there’s definitely a different tenor there, like Philly, Boston, New York. We went into this deli, and it must have been the owner. It’s like J. Pace and Sons. Anyway, it’s an Italian deli, right? And so apparently someone called in sick, so people are like… Got a long line or, you know, don’t you have the such and such today? And he’s like, he goes, oh, everybody calls in sick on Sunday. Nobody wants to work Sundays. He’s like, I don’t want to work Sunday. He’s like, she got a headache. Send flowers. Send flowers. He’s like, so good. He’s making the sandwich, and I’m like, um, everything. What’s everything to you? Because everything to me means everything in this tray. You mean everything? I go, pretty much everything. And then he’s, like, putting it on, you know, and it’s just so… Such a sourpuss, but funny, you know? And then there was a… There was a picture of him younger on the wall. So he’s son. Like I was thinking, is he actually like, it’s Jay Pace and sons. Is he son? I’m like, yeah, there’s like three generations and he’s actually son. And it had like a young picture of him, you know, on the wall when he was like a fat Italian guy. And now he’s kind of an older, not quite as big Italian guy. You know, to get to old age, you can’t be that big, you know. So, yeah, but it was just, you know how cold it is in Boston? Yeah.

SPEAKER 05 : 1:41

Yes, it is not pleasant.

SPEAKER 03 : 1:44

That is a good way. I wore a heated vest, a full-on winter coat, you know, with the hat and the fur and all, you know, like the faux fur around the parka, and then boots and four layers, the heated vest I had on high, and then mittens and a hat and a scarf, and it’s still cold.

SPEAKER 05 : 2:02

Yeah, I remember one of my first trips up there, I was there mid-summer, and I rented a place in a condo over on the coast. And the guy that was bringing it in said, now here’s your fireplace and here’s your wood. And I said, hey, it’s summer, it’s August. Well, I tell you, by the next morning, we were ready for it.

SPEAKER 06 : 2:24

Really?

SPEAKER 05 : 2:25

It is, yeah, it is. Now, it’s a great place to be in the summertime. But, wow, the winters are… That’s why a guy in New York told me, that’s why Florida was invented, so that people… in New England can get out of there in the summertime.

SPEAKER 03 : 2:39

Yes.

SPEAKER 05 : 2:39

In the wintertime and go get some summer down there.

SPEAKER 03 : 2:42

Well, and, you know, we go to Maine a lot, or we did go to Maine a lot to visit family in the summer. And similar, you know, and I do love it in the summer. I mean, there’s nothing better, especially if you’re by the coast. And my nephew who lives up there came to visit us at the volleyball tournament and said, oh, the Cape is so nice. And, of course, the lobster rolls. I told the guy at, like, Yankee Lobster or whatever it was called. I said, wow, these are delicious. This is some fresh fish. We don’t get this in Denver. He’s like, yeah, caught yesterday. And then I said, and the lobster roll is so good. He goes, you know, and then he’s got to say, we didn’t stay here for 75 years making coffee and lobster rolls for nothing. You know, like they’ve been around a long time. And let me, you know, you know how big these tournaments are, right? Because you were in a lot of athletics, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER 06 : 3:28

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER 03 : 3:29

All right. So it’s like maybe 200 courts or something. Listen to what the tournament sounds like.

SPEAKER 04 : 3:40

That’s like coming down the… That is insane.

SPEAKER 05 : 3:44

Yeah, that is insane.

SPEAKER 03 : 3:46

And that’s not even like at the court. That was coming down the escalator. So I was kind of above it all. But what I don’t understand is how the girls know which whistle is for them because the whistles are so loud.

SPEAKER 05 : 3:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER 03 : 3:58

That’s the part that I don’t get because I don’t even know when the whistle is for our team.

SPEAKER 05 : 4:02

No, it sounds like Times Square on New Year’s Eve or something.

SPEAKER 03 : 4:07

It’s so crazy. All right. So today we’re talking about life on the high wire. So what are you teaching us today?

SPEAKER 05 : 4:15

Well, you know, we all try to avoid stress or stay away from stress in our lives and risk and all those things. And, you know, there’s no such thing as a stress-free life. And I was reading about Carl Wallenda, the patriarch of the famous High Wire Act, and many generations of their family worked on a high wire in the circus. And at one point, he had a horrible fall. He nearly died. And the doctors said, you know, at your age, you should not go back up there again. And, you know, plus the stress on your heart, and it’s just a bad thing. And then he said, life is on the wire. Everything else is just waiting. And after several months, the doctors realized he was actually experiencing more stress not getting up on the high wire than he was, you know, from having it. I mean, this thing is a stress-free life. You’ve got to, I remember when I interviewed the golfer Lee Trevino and He told me at the end of a season where you play a tournament every week, so you’re either playing or traveling every day. And he said, and you get to the end of it, and he said, I would get home before Christmas, looking forward to two months off, and I threw my golf clubs out in the garage, and I told my wife, I don’t even want to think golf. And he said, I slept like 16 hours, had a nice breakfast, and then I told my wife, okay, I’ve got to get on a course somewhere. You know, he said, I just… You know, there’s something about that, you know, getting out there and doing what I do. And, you know, I feel that sometimes. For me, there’s nothing like getting on stage in front of a live audience. And if it goes a couple months and I haven’t had a big event, you know, I’ll go down the hall and tell them, hey, get me booked somewhere. You know, I just enjoy that feeling. And, you know, we can’t avoid those things. And, you know, and one of the reasons we like to avoid stressful situations is we’re afraid people are going to critique us or whatever. And so in this week’s column, I included the wonderful piece written by Teddy Roosevelt called In the Arena. And I would highly recommend anybody look at In the Arena by Teddy Roosevelt. And, you know, he starts out to, you know, the world doesn’t belong to the critic. There’s never been a monument built to a critic. And, you know, the world belongs to the man or woman in the arena, the person that will get in there and get bruised and battered and bloody. And then at the end he says, you know, whether they win or they lose, they’ll never be counted among those timid souls that never try. And it’s true. I mean, you know, there’s just something about being in the game and getting out there and making it happen. And we can’t avoid stress. Now, you’ve got to make sure you get the right kind of stress. I mean, you can’t go around and run red lights just to get your blood pressure up. But, you know, find something that matters to you and just go embrace it and attack that thing.

SPEAKER 03 : 7:18

I don’t think I ever heard the Teddy Roosevelt speech, Man in the Arena. I know you call it the epic speech, and I know you do books about famous quotes, but I don’t think I ever heard that one.

SPEAKER 05 : 7:27

Oh, it is a marvelous piece of work he wrote, and it – You know, he wrote it right after some people had been very critical of him. And he was a guy with a sizable ego, and he didn’t like it. But then he wrote, you know, there’s never been a monument to a critic. And, you know, at least I’m not a critic. And he was not kind to those people. But it’s just a great piece that, you know, reminds us that sometimes – You know, you win when you just start. You just do it, and regardless of what happens, you’re a winner.

SPEAKER 03 : 8:05

You know, I think about, too, you know, the guys that actually put in the work, you know, in life. And I don’t remember who it was, but it made national news. It was, I believe he was a coal miner. Whatever he did, he would get very dirty. And he and his son had planned to go to, I believe it was a basketball game. And he got off work late enough that the only way they could go is if they left right away. So he’s sitting there, you know, watching the game and he’s filthy, you know, he’s covered in soot and, you know, all yucky and. I think it was one of the coaches that recognized him. But nonetheless, it was basically kind of a trophy to his life of hard work and that he’d still come to the game. Because, you know, a lot of kids would be embarrassed, but his kid just wanted to go. And a lot of people would be embarrassed to go like that, to stand out, you know. But they really congratulated him more on his hard work and the effort he was putting into, you know, spending time with his son, even though he came to the game, you know, covered in soot or whatever it was.

SPEAKER 05 : 9:04

Yeah, I mean, we spend far too much time, particularly on social media, worrying about what people are going to think about us and buying things to impress people that don’t care. And it really doesn’t matter. And people are going to think whatever they’re going to think. And I learned in the movie business from the great actor Brian Dennehy, who I remember when I was going to stay up a couple hours later after a movie pre-release party to see what the New York critics said about our movie. And he said, I’ll be sound asleep. And I said, well, don’t you want to see it? And he said, no. I said, what, you’ll get it in the morning? He said, no. What do I care what they think? I mean, I do the best I can, and that’s what it is, and they can like it, they can hate it, they can do whatever they want. and they’re entitled to their opinion, but it’s not worth any more than anybody else’s. I mean, everybody that buys a movie ticket is a critic. They’re entitled to their opinion, and it’s all fine. And he just wasn’t going to let it bother him, and I won’t promise you that I’ve gotten to that level yet, but I’m a lot better than I used to be. I mean, you know, everybody’s entitled to whatever they want to think and do, and, you know, I’ll just keep doing what I do, and I’m grateful for that.

SPEAKER 03 : 10:22

you know, the Walendas are such a famous family. And I think that some of them are in stunt work and things like that. I remember some stunt man that was connected with that family. But that’s funny that they would tell Carl to, you know, retire after he was injured and that he was so much more stressed not working that he rejoined the family. I mean, if it’s in your blood, like you’re mentioning about the golf, you know, I mean, and how cool would it be to be that good at something? You know what I mean? Like, I’ve never had anything that I was like that good at. I mean, maybe, you know, I don’t know, speaking and laughing, but I mean, I mean, imagine being so good at golf that it’s just in your blood and all you want to do is be out there and it gives you, it’s relaxing yet challenging, you know, and the travel, of course, like you mentioned, that’s not always the fun part. But, you know, with the Walendas, you know, to have it in your blood to be that talented at flying through the air. I mean, when I watch the Cirque du Soleil people, which I think is very similar to what they do.

SPEAKER 06 : 11:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER 03 : 11:18

I’m so astounded by their ability and the way their bodies work and can contort, you know, whether it’s flying through the air or doing the gymnastics or the balancing. It’s just mesmerizing to me because I can’t believe the human body can do some of the things that they do.

SPEAKER 05 : 11:31

Oh, yeah. My wife’s on the board of our ballet. And particularly around the holidays, we’ll have a number of them over. Most of them are international events. and they can’t get back to Europe or Asia for the holidays. So they’ll come to our home, and I’m just amazed, you know, these ballerinas, and they can put their hand on top of yours, and I can lift them clear over my head, and they can move. Just the greatest athletes I’ve ever seen. I mean, there’s total control that they have, and it’s kind of like the Walendas. It’s just an amazing thing. And to do anything well, and Angie, what you do well is what we’re doing right now. If you remember the way you had those men. Those many, many years ago, I was doing about 100 radio interviews in a week. And I finally got to you, and after we were off the air, I said, who are you? I mean, how did you get to do this? And then I found out your background and where you’d been and what you’d been doing. And, you know, think about it. We’ve been doing this every week ever since.

SPEAKER 03 : 12:33

I know. It’s like I have a home studio that I’ve had for many years, and it’s such a blessing to be able to talk to you every week and other people. And it’s interesting to me to learn from other people and kind of pick their brain. And this is a very timely article about the stress because I was thinking about the stress that my husband’s been under with the startup company and running it for the last – A decade or so and I was thinking, gosh, I hope it doesn’t limit his years. But, you know, if you’re healthy in other areas of your life, I’m hopeful that stress won’t, you know, decrease his longevity because he’s been under so much stress because I’ve definitely noticed the difference, you know, from when we got married to the last 10 years with him. being under so much stress. So this is a good article because he doesn’t like to be bored, and he’s not going to sit around. So the other founders just go to work, like maybe two days a week, and he’s there Monday through Friday, you know, he does not cut any corners, you know. So I admire him for that. That’s somebody that I think the kids, I want my kids to aspire to be like the one that goes the extra mile.

SPEAKER 05 : 13:36

Oh, absolutely. You know, and it, You know, there’s two kinds of people in the world, those that are looking for what’s the least I can do and get away with it, and those that are going to pick up the slack and make up the difference. And the world belongs to the latter group.

SPEAKER 03 : 13:49

Yeah, I don’t think he could live with himself if he cut corners and tried to get by doing less than was expected or needed. All right, jimstovall.com. Always a pleasure, my friend. Be well.

SPEAKER 02 : 14:05

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SPEAKER 03 : 15:06

Berthod’s dialed in to the mighty 670. Hey there, friend. Angie Austin. Happy to welcome back a repeat guest. Really enjoy her. Kenza Haddock. And her book that we’re speaking about today is titled The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health. Welcome back, Kenza.

SPEAKER 04 : 15:29

Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER 03 : 15:31

Hey, so before we get into the book, give everybody a little background on yourself. You have an interesting life.

SPEAKER 04 : 15:37

Yes. I grew up in an Islamic household, and so… Essentially, that’s what led me to just my salvation and everything. But through Islam and growing up, I struggled with so much anxiety and depression. Islam is based on works, and there was no assurance of salvation. And just in the midst of that, there was no comfort, and my perspective of God was distorted. It was highly distorted. And so there wasn’t much I could turn to where I could receive any grace or any mercy. And throughout that time, the Lord started sending me dreams, one of which eventually led me to Him. And then He called me to the field of counseling. And when I started, after going back to school and doing my clinicals, when I started treating brothers and sisters in the faith, I noticed that many of them were struggling with similar thoughts and thought patterns that I struggled with when I was Muslim. And it was interesting to me because, and sometimes we even turn to things that are contrary to Scripture in an attempt to even grasp for happiness or something or adopt certain mindsets. And that’s what led to the three enemies of your mental health.

SPEAKER 03 : 17:09

Well, I want to get into those. And, you know, in our speaking, we’ve had several interviews, and I’m fascinated by your strength. A couple of things that really stick in my mind about you is leaving the Islamic faith was something your family did not agree with. So even to this day, they still try to come get you, like sneak up on you, kidnap you back when you’re now a Christian woman with a highly successful career and a family. And it just is… I can’t wrap my mind around that. And then the other thing that is so neat is I recently started following on social media and you really do have the picture perfect. Like when you think of an American family with a white picket fence and beautiful children and a gorgeous mom and family and as you, I mean, you really have it all, don’t you?

SPEAKER 04 : 17:55

Yes. God has definitely, you know, it, scripture says you’ve turned my mourning into dancing and you took off my sackcloth and clothed me with a garment of joy so I will sing praises to you and not be silenced and it is true I mean he really has done that and I mean he has taken me from desperation to and he has given me just like a song of praise and it’s true I mean yeah and you see it like it he has given me an incredible husband and And children, and it’s just, yeah.

SPEAKER 03 : 18:32

Yeah, I saw like a photo shoot or something you’ve done recently. And I just like you’re so beautiful. And I just you see the happiness. You made me just cry just now when you said that, because I know the anxiety and depression you went through. And I’ll never forget when you said to me, I mean, here’s someone with no Christian knowledge or faith whatsoever. And you are crying out to God and you become a Christian through a feeling that you receive when you’re in the midst of despair, when there are no Christians around you training you. And you just become a Christian because you reached out and just said, I need help.

SPEAKER 04 : 19:06

Yeah. Yes. Oh, yes. And he is there. He is right there drawing us. And that’s the thing. I think sometimes when we are so busy in the hustle and bustle, we forget that God is right there with us. He’s right there. He wants to carry the load with us. He never called us to carry the load on our own.

SPEAKER 03 : 19:29

Well, you know, and as we get into your book, The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health, Kenza is an expert in this area besides her own background struggling with depression and anxiety and then becoming a Christian and leaving her family’s faith. She is a licensed professional counselor, supervisor, and an accredited clinical trauma specialist with expertise in treating complex mental health conditions through both clinical and biblical methods. So what are these three enemies of your mental health?

SPEAKER 04 : 19:59

The first one is the devil. And when I say the devil, I mean he’s Satan. He’s the accuser of the brethren. And so often we don’t recognize that Satan wants to split our faith. Even if it’s 90% Jesus and 10% another object of our faith, he will seek to do that. And he will do it through socially acceptable methods like us practicing chakras or Reiki or reading our horoscope, or he will do it through inserting self-condemning thoughts in our day-to-day life. And because we’re not investing time in God’s Word, we’re not able to discern, is this from God or is this from the enemy, and therefore refute it.

SPEAKER 03 : 20:50

Okay. All right. What’s next?

SPEAKER 04 : 20:54

The second one is the flesh. Now, in order for us to defeat the devil, we have to be able to earn friends between God’s voice and the enemy’s voice. That is so important. The second one is the flesh. The flesh is basically our attempt to exert our own will over God’s perfect will. And, I mean, listen, we struggle with a sinful nature, and that’s something that we’re going to struggle. We’re never going to get so wise that we don’t have to struggle with our sinful nature. I mean, the Apostle Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament and walked so close with God… wrote in Romans 7 that he struggled with his sinful nature. And so we’re going to struggle with it, but in order to defeat it, it comes down to what are you feeding more, your flesh or your spirit? Whichever one you’re feeding more is going to win. And so we have to make a habit of spending time in God’s Word and feed on God’s Word and say, you know, Whenever thoughts like, I’m ugly, come to mind, say, I was made in the image of God, according to Genesis 126. We’re appropriating God’s word into our lives. That’s the flesh. The third one is the world. And a lot of times we overlook this. That is, anytime we allow people’s influence, negative influence, to sway us away from God’s will for our lives. And so sometimes we don’t pay attention to even our own behaviors like people pleasing, for example, or compromise or flattery. And so throughout the book, I go through these behaviors and help people identify which cycle are you stuck in. And this is a practical step to overcome it because, you know, people pleasing, telling someone stop people pleasing is not going to help them. We have to understand that it’s rooted in insecurity and, in God’s love for us. And it is only when we root ourselves in God’s love and actually spend time with Him that we’re able to overcome it.

SPEAKER 03 : 23:11

You know, you’re talking about, you know, insecurity and depression. And I got three teenagers and I think about all this social media and then I’ll hear about like one of their classmates. Fortunately, you know, no one that we’ve known. But I always have such a heart for these kids when I hear stories from school and I’m like, well, just, you know, be careful because those are the kind of kids that, you know, sometimes they’re so depressed they kill themselves. Like maybe that’s why they’re acting out in this certain way. When we’re discussing what’s going on at school, and it’s a big high school, it’s about 3,000 kids. Why do you think so many young people are depressed and suicidal in this day and age?

SPEAKER 04 : 23:49

Well, I don’t know if you grew up the same way. I didn’t have a cell phone until I was 18. And so I had to engage with other people and not just look at social media. And so we’re missing, to be real with you, Angie, we’re missing a huge component, and that is human connection, like just person-to-person connection. Human connection itself releases two chemicals. One is serotonin, which combats depression, and one is oxytocin, and that is a loved hormone. And it combats depression and anxiety. And so if we’re all the time looking at our phones, paying attention to social media, we’re comparing our lives to everyone else’s, then… And I mean, especially these teenagers, they don’t even have the objective part of their brain developed yet. It doesn’t get developed until their mid-20s. And so… They’re right there throwing all of this information and reacting to it emotionally. That’s why the suicide rate is rampant.

SPEAKER 03 : 25:03

Oh, I’m so glad you’re doing what you do. Again, the book is The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health, Ken Zahadik. You know, with your own children, does that also push you on to do more for kids and mental health in general?

SPEAKER 04 : 25:18

Absolutely, yes. Oh, yes. I try to educate as much as I can. And there are, I mean, just one little thing, even for parents, is to watch what their children are watching. I know as parents, we can get very tired and just want our kids, you know, have an iPad, babysit the children. But we, listen, we have to be very, very just conscientious on what our children are watching. Because What’s been presented to us on TV when you and I were growing up, for example, is not the same thing that our kids are watching. And there is a lot of contradictory information out there.

SPEAKER 03 : 26:04

Yeah, I would agree with you there wholeheartedly. Oh, my goodness. All right. I wanted to ask you about some of the defense mechanisms. So many of us have these, and a lot of times they come out of an unhealthy mental state, an unhealthy childhood, an unhealthy upbringing or relationship. What are some of the defense mechanisms that keep us trapped in this anxiety and depression?

SPEAKER 04 : 26:28

Yes. So basically, defense mechanisms are about deceiving our hearts into believing that something is not true, right? So that we don’t have to confront the very reality that God wants to heal us from. And then one of the most popular ones I see is denial will literally deploy this to to just not deal with a situation. Now, another one that I’ve seen in in people who have been raised in environments where they weren’t allowed to process through their feelings is repression. So that’s similar to denial, but a little different. Repression acknowledges the problem, but we deny its effects on us. I don’t know if you’ve heard the term shock absorber. This is the person who has been used to carrying the weight in their family, the emotional toll in their family. Like they’re in crisis. They’re the calm ones. And so that person has literally mastered the art of repression. And if you’re listening to this and that’s you, here’s something that you can do that’s very, very practical. Go out for a walk for 20 minutes. Don’t take anyone with you. Don’t even take your dog with you. Go out for a walk by yourself and talk to yourself about how you’re feeling and talk to the Lord about how you’re feeling. Because when you’re doing that, you’re allowing yourself to process through your emotions. And that’s the opposite of regression. It’s processing.

SPEAKER 03 : 28:00

I want to make sure that people can find you and your other books. And I want to have you back soon because we always have so much to talk about. So give us the best contact info for you, Kenza Haddock.

SPEAKER 04 : 28:11

Absolutely. It’s www.kenza.com. Haddock, H-A-D-D-O-C-K.com.

SPEAKER 03 : 28:22

Have you been getting some good feedback on your latest book?

SPEAKER 04 : 28:26

Yes, and I’ve been traveling a lot, so it’s been a lot of fun.

SPEAKER 03 : 28:31

I love it. Well, I love having you on. We’re out of time. Kenza Haddock, we’re going to have you back in the next month or two because you’re pure joy to me. Thank you so much, honey.

SPEAKER 01 : 28:40

Thank you. You bet. Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.