Join Angie Austin and Jim Stovall on this episode of The Good News as they explore the intricate dimensions of trust and belief in people. With social media and headlines often skewing our perceptions, Angie and Jim navigate the importance of giving trust cautiously yet optimistically. Drawing from famous quotes and personal stories, they delve into the age-old adage of ‘trust but verify’ and how it applies to today’s world.
00:15:05 Social Habits to Quit for Better Relationships
00:19:51 Preparing for Celebrations with Jamie Gwynn
SPEAKER 01 :
Welcome to the Good News with Angie Austin. Now, with the Good News, here’s Angie.
SPEAKER 06 :
Hello there, Angie Austin and Jim Stovall with the Good News today. We are talking about his winner’s wisdom column titled Believe in People. Hello there, Jim Stovall.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, hello, Angie. It is always fun to talk with you.
SPEAKER 06 :
All right. So what do you teach in this week in Believe in People? And I like this because so many people these days, I just think, don’t have faith in humanity. They’re disappointed in like our country or our government or their friends or their family. I just feel there’s a little bit of a cloud the last, I don’t know, it just feels cloudier the last few years in terms of people believing in each other and believing the best in each other.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, we get the news and we get a lot of social media stuff. Those are more like taking the fine print and blowing it up into the headline. The reality is most people are good, most people are honest, most people are fair, but we have to also be cautious. I love the Reagan quote, trust but verify. You want to trust people with a little before you trust them with a lot. Before I met you, and we did our decade in radio, I guess we’ve done, I worked with a local guy named Pat Campbell, and we did eight years together. He used to always say, don’t listen to what people say, watch what they do. The greatest… indicator of what people are going to do in the future is what they’ve done in the past but uh you know you’ve got to be willing to give people the chance and uh trust them with a little you know but you know if people can’t show up on time and if they you know they can’t be trusted with a little you want to be uh very reluctant to trust them with a lot because uh you know there are a lot of people out there today who uh who are focused on cheating you and uh You know, you look at your emails, you look at the mail, the phone calls you get, and unfortunately a lot of people think it’s easier to make money dishonestly than it is to make an honest dollar, and they work really hard, and you’ve just got to be cautious.
SPEAKER 06 :
You know, I think about that network marketing and, you know, some of my friends have done it for many years. So they have a lot of people underneath them so they can make a really good living off the other people underneath them. Part of network marketing is that there’s money that goes into paying all these people as they go up the chain. So like 10 people might be making money off of your sale. You know, and I remember one of my girlfriends had me try something and it was this It was this campaign where basically you use your friendships to tell people that, oh, we’re doing this campaign and I need your help because I need people to try one item and then review it for me. Well, then, of course, you’ve got to get the item and then do the shipping. So it was like $100 to get some cream or something like that. I’m just not a high-maintenance person. I do my own nails. I color my own hair. I go to great clips. I just don’t put a lot of – You know, money into like facials, massages, you know, manicures, you know, that stuff. I just not me. And so anyway, this hundred dollar cream I would never buy in a million years. I’d go to the dollar store probably or get something at, you know, Walmart or Costco or Sam’s Club. It’s just not my things. Anyway, she wanted her the honest review. So I gave her the honest review. I said, shipping is ridiculous. It was like $30 for shipping or something. I said, that’s just outrageous. I said, I never paid that much for shipping or I have a prime or something and I get shipping for everything for $9 a month or whatever it may be. So she was very offended, and she said, do I put the ingredients into this particular app that gives you a rating on things? Is it a 10 in terms of how good it is for your health, or is it a zero? Well, as little as I use facial creams, it doesn’t matter what it is, zero or 10, because I’m not using it. I’m not doing through some regime, right, a regimen. So anyway, she was offended. She’s one of my best friends and still is. But I said, this isn’t – I’m not your customer. Like I’m not the person for this stuff. I’m not one to like – Oh, it’s 10 in health range, so I’m going to buy that. Now, food, that’s another story, but to make a long story short, I feel like it sets up friendships to take advantage of people for something that they could probably buy somewhere else a lot cheaper, but you buy it from them because they kind of sell you a song and dance, too, because there’s always posts about, look at me 20 years ago and how much better I look now, and I’m so much healthier, and this is a miracle supplement, cream, drug, hair tonic. and it so i feel it’s ripping people off so i could have when i got out of tv probably made a fair amount of money doing that kind of stuff because people knew me and i just never felt right about i felt like a snake oil salesman so anyway that i obviously don’t like network marketing uh after you heard my rant there but i feel that’s like a subtle way of taking advantage of your friends but you get in the mindset that you’re helping your friends my friend says she is um a gene hacker or no, a biohacker. She says, I’m a biohacker. I help, you know, you know, you get healthier by being a biohacker. I’m like, I don’t even know what that means, what you’re saying to me. And my friend isn’t, you know, doesn’t have a college degree in anything that would make her a biohacker. Right. And so they give them this terminology to con us into thinking that they’re really helping us. But I truly believe she does believe in her products. But I don’t know. The whole thing is culty to me or something, something like where I feel like one of my best friends doesn’t know that she might be taking advantage of people.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, and some of the most dangerous people out there are people who really believe what they’re telling you. They’re sincere. But, you know, if your best friend feeds you poison, you will die just as dead. You know, and Maya Angelou said, when people show you who they are, believe them. You know, you’ve got to… And, you know, Sigmund Freud said… You know, people make us crazy when we expect them to be other than who they are. Once you find out who you’re dealing with, it doesn’t mean you shove them out of your life or you never talk to them again, but it does mean you won’t do the thing that hurt you before. I mean, it’s just, you know, you’ve got to be aware of that and, you know, just be aware of what you’re dealing with. I remember when I was a little kid and I’ve told you I found this turtle and I asked my grandfather, can I keep him? And he said, yes, but let me show you something first. And he got a pencil out and stuck it down there in front of it, and his snapping turtle bit the pencil right in half. He said, now, did you see that? And I said, yes, sir. He said, so if you stick your finger down there and he bites it off, whose fault is it? I said, I guess it would be mine. He said, that would be right. And have fun with your turtle, but know what you’re dealing with. How big was it? He was probably the size of a softball or something. That’s it, huh? And they’re that snappy. Yeah. And he lived in my backyard for a long time. Really? And I took my mom’s fingernail polish, and I painted his name on him. I don’t remember his name. Oh, my gosh, that’s hilarious. And as long as you grabbed him from the top and behind, he was fine. But you learned really, I mean, the object lesson with the pencil stayed with me. Yes. And it’s just good to know who you’re dealing with.
SPEAKER 06 :
Maya Angelou is saying when people show you who they are, believe them. I didn’t know she said that. There’s another woman that does a podcast that is really famous now for saying, let them. That has to do with your friends when they leave you out of a gathering, let them. When they treat you rudely or whatever, let them, because they are showing you who they are, and you are supposed to believe them and let them treat you that way. But also, as you were saying earlier in the article, believe them. That’s who they are.
SPEAKER 03 :
Well, Let Them is a great book. Mel Robbins wrote that book. Yes, Mel. I was just looking her up. Mel Robbins, yes. Very talented. And I’ve read the book. I highly recommend it because, you know, you can spend your whole life trying to change people that they don’t want to change. and uh you know and uh i you know people who have kids you let them learn the lessons life teaches them as long as it won’t hurt them i mean uh you know um you know you don’t let them go out and get in a dangerous situation hurt themselves but uh when you tell them it’s cold outside put on your jacket i don’t want to put on my jacket okay well go out there and see how cold that is for you and you know they you know you learn over time and uh You know, that’s that’s what I do at the Stovall Center at the university. I mean, it’s my job to help kids build and run businesses. But the reason I know how to do it is I’m not smarter than they are. I just made all the mistakes before. And, you know, when there’s life lessons out there that they can learn. You know, I let them learn and then they won’t do that again.
SPEAKER 06 :
You know, in terms of this, you know, let them and this goes back. I didn’t know Maya Angelou had said that, too, because I say that to my kids a lot when people show they who they are, believe them. And it’s just funny because at that age of girls that are like my daughters are hanging out with girls who are ages like 16 to maybe 20, 21. And they’ll tell me things. Well, in particular, my older daughter, she just really trusts people. And she’ll say, well, I told so-and-so not to tell so-and-so. And then so-and-so called me and said, so-and-so told her. And then I had another friend call and say, so-and-so told her. And then all of them called me and said, so-and-so told them. And I’m like, Hope, are you kidding me? I said, the only person that you can trust right now in your life to talk to and confide in is me. That is it. Now, they know that they can’t tell their dad anything because he will tell all the other kids and he will. If I if I tell him a secret, like in the family, like I’m there. Well, this happened and the windshield got cracked, but I already took care of it and he’s already been punished. And please don’t say anything because he really confided in me and blah, blah, blah. Oh, the second that we stopped talking, he’s on the phone or texting or calling that kid and being like, Bill, you know, if you ever with the windshield again, blah, blah, blah. And it’s like, OK, it’s a fine line because I’m telling him everything. Right. But but sometimes your kids won’t confide in you because they’re more scared of him than they are of me. But I’m still going to take care of it. And they’ll still get, you know, the repercussions or have to pay for it or whatever. But I’m less scary than their dad. Right. So I tell him because he’s my husband. But then I’m like, would you mind just not bringing up them so I can still have that trust with them? And I don’t know if I told you, but one time my son, when my husband went to him right in front of me and said, well, your mom just told me. And he looked at me, he goes, we are done. We are through. We are done. And I’m like, it was just like a relationship, you know, where he couldn’t trust me anymore. We are done. I’m through with you. And so it’s that fine line where I want them to really trust me and, you know, and confide in me. But I tell I told my daughter, I’m like, you cannot trust these girls. You can if you don’t want something to get out. you cannot tell them. I’m not saying don’t trust them to be there. Like if you go out at night and you’re driving home with them or this, that, and the other, but like, you know, always have your Uber app, always have backup plans. Like the only person right now that you can come to and confide in my personal opinion is me. And yes, you can absolutely confide in your father, but They are sometimes scared of that. He’s got he’s an Italian. He’s got a hot temper. And so they’re a little afraid of his reaction to things when they tell him. So number one is me. And so I just you cannot trust teenage girls to keep a secret. Like, come on. Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER 03 :
Oh, some of them, the fastest way to get the word out on anything, if you’ve got an event or a product launch, tell about 10 or 12 of those young ladies and say, now, I need you to keep this to yourself because we don’t want this getting out early. But this is going to launch in two weeks, and you’re the only person that knows. I mean, it’ll be everywhere within the week. That’s hilarious. What?
SPEAKER 06 :
How do you find such good people and keep them? Because you’ve had employees for, you know, like believing in people. You’ve had employees work decades sometimes.
SPEAKER 03 :
Yeah, everybody that’s worked for me is… I’ve worked for well over 20 years, and they come to me, and everybody that starts with me is on a 90-day trial. And I always tell them, you can leave me any day you want, any day this doesn’t meet your expectations, and we’re going to try you out on some stuff, and we’re not going to ask you to do anything other than your best. And I’ll pay you for the full 90 days if you don’t work. I’ve never had anybody that didn’t work out. But you really feel like you can trust them, you know. It’s kind of like dating. I mean, you know, it’s a nice person. They’re probably worth having a lunch with. You know, I don’t want to go on a three-week cruise with them. But, you know, I’ll have a lunch with you. And then we’ll see, you know, how it goes. We’ll go to dinner and a show. And then we’ll do it. And then eventually you decide if this is somebody you want to spend more and more time with. But too many people go with that first impression. And first impressions often fool you. My grandfather always said anything that’s that colorful and shiny probably has a hook in it somewhere. And, you know, you’ve got to be cautious and remember what Mr. Reagan told us, trust but verify.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I do trust in a lot of people at this point in my life, but I think decades of time with them and knowing, you know, history really helps with trust. I sound like I’m just this, you know, old curmudgeon today with my with my rants. But I think history really teaches us what would recent records and trust that verify Jim Stovall dot com. Thank you, my friend. Thank you.
SPEAKER 02 :
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SPEAKER 03 :
Manitou Springs is listening to the Mighty 670 KLT.
SPEAKER 06 :
Hey, friend. Angie Austin here with the good news. I’ve got one of my favorites joining us, Chef Jamie Gwynn. I just love her. She’s just so upbeat and full of energy. And then I wanted to talk to you about one of my favorite websites. I found a topic for us today. And the website is Mark and Angel. And this is… Ten social habits we should all quit before our relationships get any more difficult. And I was like, oh, what’s this one about? Oh, number one is one of my pet peeves. We should stop doing this. And I totally agree with this one. The silent treatment. I had a friend whose husband would not speak to her for days until she fell into line and he could control her behavior. And I was like, oh, what a miserable way to live. How exhausting to have someone for days not speak to you when you’re just the two of you living in the house. Oh, my goodness. that’s like emotional abuse. So don’t do the silent treatment and no one can read your mind. Like what’s wrong with just communicating and just explaining like what the issue is. And if you can’t talk to them face to face, write them an email, send them a text, leave them a voicemail, you know, write them a letter, send them a card, like, Convey your feelings rather than ghosting or the silent treatment. Number two, get rid of ease in your relationships. Seeking attention by complaining. Do you have a friend that’s like that? We were just talking about this yesterday. I’ll just tell you who it was. My brother’s ex-wife, she always had to be in the middle of drama, and she had to create drama. It’s a symptom of borderline personality disorder where they just want to create drama and there’s always like a crisis and there’s a problem with somebody and it’s everyone else’s fault and they don’t get along with people at work or they’re best friends with somebody in that relationship as a falling out or somebody in the family and it’s always someone, right, that is just, ugh, so get rid of that. Seeking attention by complaining. Okay. Number three, using disagreements as justification to condemn someone’s character. Yeah, if you’re having disagreement with someone or you don’t agree with them politically, don’t condemn their character and lump in a bunch of horrible things that you think about them and use that as justification for why you don’t like them because you have a disagreement. Oh my goodness. Using subtle, hateful gestures. My daughter would say I roll my eyes when I’m irritated with something, like if I’m somewhere and Things aren’t going as planned or there’s a big delay or there’s like we can’t find your ticket or there’s no documentation or blah, blah, blah. She says, I’ll roll my eyes. But I think we can all think of worse gestures than that that we shouldn’t use. Number five, and these are things to get rid of to improve our relationships. Focusing on the inner monologue instead of the actual dialogue, right? I think so many times we make things a lot worse in our head, and then if we would just talk about it, that it really oftentimes isn’t what we think it is. Number six. multitasking while engaging with people. I think so many of us are guilty of multitasking, especially if we’re like on the phone with someone trying to do something else. My husband was talking about how he was on an important business call and he could hear the person typing and he’s like, are you typing? And they were like, yeah. I mean, I think if there’s like an emergency and you have to do something really quick, but I think people know if you’re consistently not engaging with them and doing something else and not really looking them in the eyes. I think looking people in the eyes is so important when you’re talking to them. It’s a big deal. Again, get rid of these things to improve your relationship. Number seven, de-emphasizing compliments or fishing for more of them. With self-effacing remarks. In other words, like a friend, I see young girls do this a lot, you know, because I’ve got teenage girls. Oh, you look so pretty today. Oh, yuck, I don’t like this hairdo or I don’t like the way I did my makeup today or I didn’t have time to pick out a good outfit or I wore this last week and I didn’t have time to wash it. Like fishing for compliments with self-deprecating remarks. No, don’t do that. Just take a compliment, too. Just say thank you. Number eight, holding the past against people who have allegedly been forgiven. Oh, isn’t that the truth? When you’ve forgiven them, you’ve got to move on. Number nine, withholding the truth. The key thing to remember here is that secrets can be just as deceitful as openly telling a lie. I didn’t tell them, but I didn’t lie about it either. Oh, boy. And then number ten, this one I do not like at all. I had someone… big in my life do this to me a lot emotional blackmail and i think that goes into ghosting someone you know when you just aren’t you shut them out emotional blackmail is like withholding your love your attention your affection your relationship from someone until they do what you want them to do it’s a really kind of manipulative controlling behavior Yeah, I better not say who did that to me a lot in my life. That’s probably not a good one to talk about on the radio. But, yes, it’s exhausting, too. And you know you’re being manipulated. And you know that most likely you’re going to have to, if you want that person in your life or you want that person in your family’s life, that you’re going to have to call and apologize to them because they are emotionally blackmailing you until you do what they want to. And sometimes they have leverage on you. And sometimes you just plain have to do it. Oh, my goodness. Someone I never… never regret talking to I always look forward to talking to Jamie Gwynn if you’re just joining us this is Angie Austin with the good news spring is one of my favorite times of year because I think it’s a time of celebrations graduation parties and to school parties but you just don’t want to just throw a party you want to enjoy it too well joining us is one of my favorites as I said chef Jamie Gwynn who’s going to help us learn how to throw a party we can actually enjoy and not be trapped in the kitchen welcome back Jamie
SPEAKER 04 :
Hello, sweet Angie. Thank you for having me back. No one wants to be trapped in the kitchen.
SPEAKER 06 :
No, no. Hey, whenever I see you, whenever I see you on my calendar, I get excited because I love interviewing you. And I just have to tell you, I’m getting that your cookbook or at least I’m looking it up or the last bite, a lean and clean cookbook. Because you have so many great workarounds or ways to make things that are delicious, but you always kind of teach me how to still enjoy the party. So let’s get into that today. How do we enjoy it? Oh, you’re the best.
SPEAKER 04 :
Wow, that’s a lovely compliment. Thank you. You flatter me. But I am about enjoying the party, enjoying the dinner. I think in today’s time, we’re all… too busy, stressed out, we’re short on time. And especially when it comes to the party season, moms, dads, grads, et cetera, there’s something to be said for really finding a way to enjoy the party, right? Because you deserve to do that. And whether it’s Mother’s Day and our celebration, or if you have a graduate, yes, the party’s for the kiddo. But look what you’ve accomplished too. They’re graduating, right? And there’s so many pallets out there to please, Angie, and so many crossroads to cross that when I say permission to party, ask for help. Make it happen where it’s not all on you because the biggest mistake everybody makes is taking it all on.
SPEAKER 06 :
Mm hmm. I agree. So that is the big mistake, right? Taking it all on. So, you know, you want to especially for graduation party, there’s like a wide range of people to feed from little kids to the teenagers, of course, and their parents. So what are some of the go to dishes you like for that wide range of, you know, guests, age range and palates?
SPEAKER 04 :
Sure. Yeah, I always do try to create a very craveable, crowd-pleasing spread, and that’s something for everyone. And we all have really advanced palates today, right? We eat around the world. We like a little bit of spicy. Everybody loves the Mediterranean influence. Like you said, I’ve got a bevy of kiddos in my house to feed. And so you want to cover all your bases. I will tell you I am a huge noodles and company fan. From their bevy of hearty noodle dishes to the salads and the sides, you can please the vegetarians. There’s a gluten-free option. There’s always Aunt Jane who can’t eat almonds. I mean, there’s something for everyone. And when it comes to planning the menu, I start with something familiar. So when it’s comfort food, when it’s hearty, Everybody loves it. Noodles and Company does this huge sheet pan of creamy, dreamy mac and cheese, and they accentuate it with all these toppings. They call it a mac bar, Angie, and it’s brilliant. You put out a macaroni and cheese bar, and who isn’t going to love it? It has pulled pork, grilled chicken, crispy bacon, crispy onions. green onions, all the good stuff. And it becomes like interactive entertainment for your party. It’s like DIY, right? You put out a Mac bar, everybody’s going to be talking about your party. And then I like to supplement with other dishes like the rigatoni rosa, spaghetti and meatballs. Maybe you make your signature dish and then you add in other dishes. Start with something familiar and then add some big, bold flavor so you stand out.
SPEAKER 06 :
Well, I like that idea. This is my daughter, Faith. This is her favorite restaurant, so I’m quite familiar with the mac and cheese. I didn’t know they did the big bar, but I like the idea of then maybe adding all of those extra things to add into the other dishes as well, like maybe the fresh basil for your mac and cheese. spaghetti and meatballs and maybe the nuts for the people that can’t have nuts. You have them on the side and can be added to a lot of the dishes. So I love the idea of not just the mac and cheese having all the toppings, just in general, other things that you can throw peanuts in or cashews in or almonds or whatever.
SPEAKER 04 :
Okay, so Angie, that’s really smart. And what you’re speaking to is the fact that we all have elevated palates today, right? We’ve watched a lot of food TV. We’ve tasted new ingredients. We go to multiple markets. And we have a bevy of different flavors that we’re drawn to. And I love your idea of really putting out all these different, you know, varying tastes to please the palates that are at the party. It becomes a conversation piece. It becomes what people talk about after the party, too. And if you think about it, Angie, and you’re a Noodles & Company fan, as am I, it’s really a very cost-effective way to cater to When we know that our grocery costs have risen exponentially, the amount of time spent grocery shopping and then prepping, and then you’re up till 3 in the morning, and then you wake up the next day and you throw a party, and who could remember any of it by then, right? I mean, it just becomes overwhelming. So this is the way to really plan a celebration that you get to enjoy the party too.
SPEAKER 06 :
Yeah, I love the idea of like a charcuterie board, right? But this is like a topping and maybe sausage charcuterie board. My husband’s obsessed with sauces. So I always have like eight sauces. So why not with the toppings also add out other things they can put on top like that? You know, that spicy Asian, you know, like, oh, sriracha. Sriracha, is that what it is? Yeah, just different things to throw on top.
SPEAKER 04 :
It’s perfect. The Mac bar from Noodles & Company, Angie, comes with buffalo sauce and barbecue sauce. So I’m the buffalo, my kiddo’s the barbecue, right? And I love that idea, put out sauces and toppings and otherwise. Here’s another tip, Angie, that I love. Set your platters out days in advance. You know, set up the dining room table, whether it’s a backyard shindig or a great big party, and set out your platters with Post-it notes. Mark what each dish is going into. Fill the pitchers with water and lemon slices and store them in the fridge. Lay everything out in advance so you are prepared to enjoy it. And then you have those memories where the friends and the family came in to celebrate and you were present.
SPEAKER 06 :
I love it. Anything else you want us to know?
SPEAKER 04 :
Yes, I want you to know that you can get 15% off catering orders at Noodles & Company on orders over $150 for more than a month. That celebrates moms, dads, and grads from May 6th to June 9th by using the code GRAD2026. And you go to noodles.com, and you can place your order in advance. You can mull it over. You can figure out what it is you want to serve. You can, you know, weigh all the options for pickup or delivery. But please use that code, GRAD2026. Go to noodles.com slash catering.
SPEAKER 06 :
I love that because then I can use that extra money for the tip. I love to get, like, a code, and then I can be a good tipper.
SPEAKER 05 :
Yes. All right, Angie. I love that about you.
SPEAKER 06 :
Jamie, I can’t wait to talk to you next time. Hopefully then I will have read the last bite, a lean and clean cookbook as well. I can’t wait to try this out. This is really a great idea. My daughter will be thrilled. She graduates next year. But, you know, we’ve always got Mother’s Day. Thanks, Jamie.
SPEAKER 04 :
Thank you, Angie, so much. Happy celebration season to you.
SPEAKER 01 :
You too. Thank you for listening to The Good News with Angie Austin on AM670 KLTT.
