Join Craig Collins as he fills in on the Dana Show, bringing tales from the infamous ‘Florida Man’ escapades. From valets going rogue with fancy cars to bizarre drug discoveries, this episode is packed with stories that truly define the phrase ‘only in Florida’. As Collins delves into these whimsical tales, listeners will enjoy a humorous yet insightful portrayal of these unbelievable events.
00:00:30 Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast Introduction
00:00:36 Florida Man Chronicles with Craig Collins
For 85 years, Connex Credit Union has been your trusted partner on life’s financial journey. Community focused, always listening and lending a hand. Here for you every step of the way. Whether you’re saving for your first home, a degree, or a rainy day, we’ve been here for 85 years, helping our community save more, growing stronger together. Connex, banking for your possibilities. Visit connexcu.org. Equal housing opportunity. NMLS 458548. Federally insured by NCUA.
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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
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That’s right, it’s time for Florida Man on the Dana Show. My name is Craig Collins filling in. DLash, DanaLashRadio, and X on Twitter to stay connected to all things her. I have a few Florida Man stories. First, a valet in Miami got in trouble because he was doing his thing at a high-rise apartment complex, and someone came up with a real fancy car, and the valet decided, I’m taking this one and going. The guy ran away, drove away in a victim’s car outside of the apartment building, later was apprehended. His name is Augusto Cesar Sandino Troas. He’s 23. He is, again, of Miami, Florida himself. That’s Grand Theft Auto. That’s the kind of thing you don’t want to be doing. There’s video footage of it. There’s the guy himself handing the keys and glancing at the car and watching it exit and then go its own direction. All this, not a good move and not worth one joyride. in all honesty. If you want a car this bad for a few hours before you get arrested by the police, just rent one. Hopefully not get arrested by the police. Hopefully that’s the other caveat to my version of a plan and not this one. Just rent that vehicle. Pay an excess amount of money, especially in a place like Miami, where you’re going to be able to find a rental company that has some fancy cars, drive around like a moron, and then live your life outside of jail. That’s just my recommendation and not the way this guy wanted to go. Another story. This one’s amazing. Not just because of the ridiculousness of it. A beachgoer in Florida found 25 kilos of cocaine on a Florida beach. This happened in Walton County. But the fact that all of the kilos of cocaine had a photograph of Yosemite Sam on the front of the packaging of cocaine. I don’t know why. Yosemite Sam was the, you know, logo of choice for this person that’s got all these illegal drugs and why they then decided to leave all the drugs on a beach worth about five hundred thousand dollars in actual money. The beachgoer who found it did turn it all in, chose not to feed any of it to sharks, which was a good decision because I would not want to see cocaine shark become a real thing, especially not in Florida. But there’s just ridiculous stuff here. And to be honest, if you didn’t live in Florida and you found a bunch of cocaine, and I mean a lot of it, with Yosemite Sam on the front of every package on a beach somewhere, you’d think it was the most ridiculous thing that had ever happened in the place you live. The only state where you’d be like, yeah, it seems about right, seems to be Florida. But this actually occurred, and it was crazy, and luckily the person turned it over. We hope all of it. We assume all of it. We don’t know for sure. We’ll see what happens from there. One last story in the world of Florida Man, and I like this one too. A nurse found a bunch of drugs inside of Florida Man’s butt during a surgery. The guy, for some reason, decided to hide it there. The guy’s name is Michael O’Neill. He is 43. He suffered from a stab wound. He didn’t want to explain to anyone. Went to St. Petersburg’s hospital. The injuries required surgery and well under. People discovered… I think a crack pipe and a lighter for some reason inside the man’s rectum. I don’t know why you hide the lighter there because you could just have that in your pocket, bud. You know, that’s not illegal. You can have that one on you. But nonetheless, he was arrested. And here’s the craziest part of this story. Not the first time. that this individual has been arrested where his hiding place of choice was the backside, and the hiding object of choice was a bunch of drugs. Michael O’Neill also once checked into prison, and while getting patted down, they located a bunch of drugs and paraphernalia, fentanyl and whatnot, in the man’s rectum. It seems to be his move. As horrible as it is, that’s a Florida man as Florida gets. Craig Collins filling in on the Dana Show.
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For 85 years, Connex Credit Union has been your trusted partner on life’s financial journey. Community focused, always listening and lending a hand. Here for you every step of the way. Whether you’re saving for your first home, a degree, or a rainy day, we’ve been here for 85 years, helping our community save more, growing stronger together. Connex, banking for your possibilities. Visit connexcu.org. Equal housing opportunity. NMLS 458548. Federally insured by NCUA.
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This is interesting. Outnumbered reacted to this story by saying how much several members of that television show, that television news program, like this. Tennessee law is going to allow courts to suspend or delay a minor’s driver’s license for up to a year if they’re found guilty of bullying and or cyberbullying. Again, I’m kind of surprised that Fox News and some of their pundits We’re such big fans of this because it does feel like the government should probably not be this involved in what they deem to be online versions of bullying. And yet there is sort of a well-intentioned aspect of thinking that, and I really think the parents could be the ones doing this, penalizing your kid by not letting them drive a vehicle or have a driver’s license because they’re being a jerk to other people online or worse than that. But here’s a little bit of how Outnumbered talked about this topic. You are a big fan of this.
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I am a fan of this because we’ve done so many stories where it leads to suicide. Bullying can lead to suicide. And this includes cyberbullying. And I’m sure they’d have to prove it goes to the extreme because we all like freedom of speech. But yet, if it’s harassing someone, if it’s putting someone at risk and their life in danger, then I’m all in favor of this. I think it holds people accountable. And these teenagers need to know you can’t do this. You’re going to lose your privilege to drive. And that’s a big deal for teenagers.
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Yes. It is. Actually, I’ll pause it right there for just a second, and I am going to react to the thing she said of substance, but it’s actually not. I know a lot of teen kids now. That’s a weird way to say that. I know a lot of parents of teenage kids now who say that their kid doesn’t care about driving, that it’s very different than my generation or generations before me. I’m an older millennial, close to the Gen X generation. People desperately wanted a driver’s license. For my childhood and the childhoods of my parents, my grandparents, everyone I know. But younger people today care more about being on social media platforms or, you know, hanging out late at night, playing video games in their room. I’m not saying that all of them don’t care about a driver’s license, but for some reason, a lot of them don’t. But the overarching problem here remains the same. The idea, again, that government officials can start to moderate your social media posts and determine at what point they become something that they don’t like and then refer to that as bullying or cyberbullying or whatever else. Now, granted, Tennessee is less likely to go as rogue as, say, New York would or California on this issue. But there are reasons to dislike it. Here’s a little bit more on Fox from Outnumbered talking about it. Okay.
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For New Yorkers, we take a taxi.
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Well, in Jersey, we just drive fast.
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Some of us, not everybody.
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Paul?
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No, I don’t drive fast. I don’t even own a car. So anyway, I did a couple things to tease out here. First of all, the law exists already. This is just an added penalty, and you have to be of driving age, right? But they actually have this for younger ages as well who can’t drive yet. So the metric becomes what happens when, by the way, Tennessee doesn’t have a minimum age for criminal responsibility. So if you’re 12 years old, you’re getting charged with an A misdemeanor. That could be life-changing. Wow. hope that it’s applied with you know judiciously right so here’s another way i hope it’s it’s applied this is a red state past this tennessee so more power to them because i agree and so this kind of thing that’s long overdue considering the impact of bullying what happens we get teachers bullying students let’s say on trans issues and things like that because that is bullying we’ve seen all kinds of cases like that i bet you we get a case where the parents say My kid’s being bullied into a curriculum he or she doesn’t want. Now, we’ve had that big SCOTUS decision. It’ll take a while for that thing to devolve down. So this thing is going to have to get used. They’re going to have to bang it up a little bit to get it working.
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I do like when anybody says, you’ve got to bang this up. You’ve got to fix it a little bit. You’ve got to enhance it a little more. But I think that’s a tremendous question. uh… from uh… some of the individuals on outnumbered uh… not just the lawyer who’s talking there uh… but the types of things that would potentially be considered bullying and how they’ll be handled by the government because it’s a slippery slope it’s a difficult uh… in general bridge for people to to cross and you don’t wanna see the things that you’re seeing in places like the UK our people are being arrested for what they’re saying on social media across the board and a lot of anti-government things winding up being a things that people are charged significant crimes with I’m not saying that in the intent at a Tennessee again as pointed out a red state that seems to believe a whole lot in free speech and what not However, it would be the intent of someone else copying this law and doing it somewhat differently, or even some of the people who would be executing the law in certain parts of any state, even red ones. So again, I’m skeptical, and in a lot of ways, not exactly thrilled, but still happy at the idea of protecting kids. But it should just be the parents that are doing that. They should be the ones responsible for preventing this behavior in the first place. Unfortunately, a whole lot of them don’t, which is why this story exists at all.
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This summer, the world’s game comes to New York, New Jersey. MetLife Stadium will host an epic quarterfinal matchup on July 5th. Teams will be revealed soon, but one thing’s clear. You won’t want to miss this. Be there when it happens. Grab your tickets now at FIFA.com slash tickets. MetLife Stadium, the world is watching.
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For 85 years, Connex Credit Union has been your trusted partner on life’s financial journey. Community focused, always listening and lending a hand. Here for you every step of the way. Whether you’re saving for your first home, a degree, or a rainy day, we’ve been here for 85 years, helping our community save more, growing stronger together. Connex, banking for your possibilities. Visit connexcu.org. Equal housing opportunity. NMLS 458548. Federally insured by NCUA.
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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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That’s right. This is the Dana Show. My name is Craig Collins filling in, and it is time for a Quick Five. Five topics we’re going to do in rapid succession. The Royal Train is being retired. King Charles says that he wants to retire the iconic, quote, Palace on Wheels, something that was beloved by Queen Elizabeth because it cost too much money in 2025 to have a ridiculous train that is a Palace on Wheels. And there’s easier ways to get around it. You can fly anywhere you want if you’re the king. So, yes, he’s going to be doing that. And some people, I’m not sure many people, I don’t even know how many people in the United States even care about this, but I found it entertaining for sure. We’ll not miss it at all, mostly because we weren’t allowed to ride on it. Maybe they should turn the palace on wheels into a thing that the commoner can ride around in throughout Europe. And then maybe it would make money instead of lose tremendous amounts of it. I doubt it, but who knows? Another story out there that will do rapid fire. Can cheese turn your dreams into nightmares? The answer is sort of. Your gut actually plays a bigger role in your dreams than just a specific food you eat. But if you have an unhappy gut, specifically if you have things like lactose intolerances that you deal with, you’re more likely to have nightmares. according to the internet and a psychological study, which just seems unfair. If you’re already struggling in the world of eating certain foods and having certain bathroom issues, then going to sleep and having, you know, Freddy Krueger and his friends torment you, that just seems like kicking you when you’re down, if I’m being honest. At least that’s the way I feel about it. But it is true, apparently. So get your gut right, and then you won’t have that horrible nightmare of falling and then waking up before you hit the pavement. I’m assuming. I don’t know. Waffle houses are dropping their eggs surcharge. This was actually a viral story a bunch of places. Waffle houses have been charging an extra 50 cents for eggs. This has been happening since February. And they put up on social media that they’re sorry and that it’s over. It’s actually egg-cellent news, according to them. I like and hate a good pun. That was a little bit of both. But yeah, apparently, this is something that a whole lot of people are excited about because you’re paying 50 less cents when you go to the Waffle House, witness a fight you didn’t expect to see, and then also enjoy some breakfast. Honestly, living in Texas now, in Houston, Waffle House after 10 o’clock is… is a different experience than before 10 p.m. If you go in at night for the 24-hour Waffle House, you’re going to see some things, things you’ll probably never unsee. All right, another story out there that I thought was interesting. A judge has okayed the sale of 23andMe. More important than the website itself or the service itself is the trove of DNA data that the company owns. Who did they sell it to? A nonprofit led by its founder that is very much intent on selling all of the data in ways different than 23andMe told you they’d ever sell the data. Shocking. This seems crazy, but the highest bidder of the genetic information company was, in fact, the dude who started the company who has close ties to pharmaceutical industries. So, yes, the thing that you thought was going to happen. when you purchased your online dna test and then sent your dna to a company is now happening more so that it was it probably was happening the whole time but now they’re not even pretending it’s not happening they’re selling your data and then that data is going to wind up other places i’m glad i never did 23 and mate i was tempted It sounded like learning more about myself and, you know, the history of my family was the kind of thing that I wouldn’t get without doing a DNA test. But it just felt weird to send that off to a unknown organization. So I never did it, even when it was like cheap online and it was discounted on things like Amazon Prime Day. And again, I’m proud of myself and hopefully you’re proud of yourself, too, if you resisted. This is the Dana Show. My name is Craig Collins filling in. Thrilled to be with you. A whole bunch of stuff to talk about. Penn Athletics has decided to go ahead and rescind a whole bunch of the awards that a man won while swimming for a female swim team. This is something that’s caused a lot of people to be very happy. Paula Scanlon, one of those individuals who was on the women’s swim team at University of Pennsylvania, spoke at the White House about how great this is for her and for a lot of other people and how it restores a competitive fairness to women’s athletics to not have people who are guys, biologically, defeat women that literally cannot biologically compete against them. That seemed to be bad. It took a while for us to get here, but we finally got here as a society.
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That’s the first thing I have to say about this. How many years of progress this is just fixing. There’s so many women I’m looking at in this room that have fought so hard for so many years on this issue. And I’m grateful to be alongside many of you today. But more than anything, I am grateful for this administration for taking this so seriously. I have quite literally gotten exactly what they voted for. And so I can’t start.
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People start applauding, going crazy. She says she quite literally got exactly what she wanted when she punched the ticket for the certain individual that she punched it for when she voted Trump. That is great. It’s great news. Honestly, it’s great news for anybody who’s a parent of a kid, a girl that was competing in sports that was worried that at some point they were going to be unfair to her. It is insane. And I’ll just say this quickly because I don’t want to belabor a point that you’ve probably heard a whole lot about in a whole lot of different ways by people other than myself. But it is insane that the left and how woke they are and how crazy they are about so many things essentially allowed for women’s sports to be somewhat destroyed, if not entirely destroyed, by individuals that were not in fact women that competed against women in these sports. That seemed to be the kind of thing the left would be up in arms about if they didn’t have some sort of excuse to be on the wrong side of that issue. But it’s finally changing, at least for now. You hope for good. And again, I want to be completely clear. And if you think that my compassion is weakness, that’s fine. I don’t care if that’s how you interpret it. I would like people that feel as though they’re not men to compete in some kind of sport in school. Certainly, I want these to be adults before they biologically do anything to change themselves. But I don’t want it to be in women’s sports. I think there could be some other version of competition that allowed men, women, and… whoever else thinks they’re a part of, you know, society to compete because I do like the idea of everyone being able to participate in sports if they’re talented enough at any level, not at just the highest levels, professional or college or whatnot, but at any level. So I’m not trying to say that if you’re someone that fits into one of these categories that’s not allowed to compete in female sports anymore, that you’re not allowed to compete in sports at all. Ideally, you’d probably compete in male athletics if you’re biologically a male. But I also would be fine with competing in something other than female athletics. Even if a lot of people weren’t in it and if we didn’t even really pay attention to it. But if there was some other sort of division that people were allowed to compete in, that’s fine. And I know that it’s something that some people say like it’s weak or you’re appeasing society or whatnot. Now, I honestly think that it’s the exact opposite of that. Personally, I think it’s demonstrating that I actually care about protecting female athletics. And beyond that, you do you, especially if you’re an adult human. And again, I just imagine it will be completely not popular as far as the sport goes. If it’s two or three total people that are competing in some sort of athletic competition throughout the entire country, because I don’t know that you’d have a massive amount of individuals that would flood into this, whatever you call it,
SPEAKER 09 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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This summer, the world’s game comes to New York, New Jersey. MetLife Stadium will host an epic quarterfinal matchup on July 5th Teams will be revealed soon, but one thing’s clear. You won’t want to miss this. Be there when it happens. Grab your tickets now at FIFA.com slash tickets. MetLife Stadium. The world is watching.
SPEAKER 04 :
For 85 years, Connex Credit Union has been your trusted partner on life’s financial journey. Community focused, always listening and lending a hand. Here for you every step of the way. Whether you’re saving for your first home, a degree, or a rainy day, we’ve been here for 85 years, helping our community save more, growing stronger together. Connex, banking for your possibilities. Visit connexcu.org. Equal housing opportunity. NMLS 458548. Federally insured by NCUA.
