Absurd Truth: Twitchy Tampon Tim
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Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsored by Keltech. It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida. Man, all right.
So a couple of stories here, this involving sneakers. I don’t know why this is a sad story. So this dude, this Florida man was convicted of murdering a teenager over a pair of Yeezys Aditi’s easy and uh he lunged at the victim’s father in the courtroom. Florida man, he murdered a teenage girl over these yeasy sneakers four years ago.
They’re in court and uh he. Adrian Cosby twenty three murdered eighteen year old high school senior Andrea Lekeo, and during his sentencing, la Chao’s father read a statement that set the murderer off, and la Chao’s father said that you’re the epitome of vehicle in darkness that this world represents. And he says you’re animal. He called him animal, said you’re you know, in prison the rest of your life.
Cosby immediately started cussing him, left from his chair and it took six officers to restrain him. And it happened when Leco and our boyfriend were looking to sell these shoes that were they’re like really expensive, and they said that they met with this guy outside of abandoned an abandoned house and homestead and they were kind of going back and forth overpayment, and that’s when Cosby approached. He was I guess in that he was with the other guy approached the driver’s her door, shot both of them and then they took the shoes for nine hundred and thirty five dollars. This that’s what they did.
So that’s crazy. And also, never do a shoe exchange outside of an abandoned home anywhere. That’s like super sketch. How many people have samurai swords in Florida because this dude used a samurai sword because we just literally had a samurai story or a machete, which what was it? It was a machete.
This dude was accused of using a sword to attack his friend over an xbox. The guys from Daytona Beach. He had stopped by the victim, Walter Grimes, stopped by the victim’s apartment along South Beach Street. They were gonna hang out.
The dude was upset because he was currently homeless and he had to walk around with this stuff. Apparently he knew this guy for like the victim for like two years. When Grimes asked the victim if he was gonna give him his xbox, the victim replied no, and then that’s when Grimes grabbed a samurai sword and struck the thin friend twice across the left side of their face and shoulder, and then he grabbed the xbox right away. So they obviously called any one one in the The victim is okay, but this dude was on the run.
That’s kind of crazy. And you knew the dude for two years. Sounds like he was probably sketchy before then. I’m just gonna say it seems like he probably was okay.
So this is another machete story. This was just the other day in Palm Coast, w f l A. A Palm Coast man was arrested because deputies say he threatened workers who were doing storm water inspections. It was a maintenance company.
He got mad because they temporarily blocked the road and he jumped out of his car and was swinging around a machete Flagger County. I mean, it’s like, that’s like normal. I guess is the thing that you have like gators and machetes there, I guess. The employees told officials at forty three year old Miguel Rodriguez was mad because they blocked the road while backing up one of their vehicles.
They didn’t have any signs posted. Deputies say they had several signs posted whatever, But they said that Rodriguez drove her on the worksite, stopped his truck, got out to yell, I’m going to chop some bees up, not like bees, but you know what I mean, while walking towards him with a machete. One worker said he ran into a wooded area because he feared for his life. Then Rodriguez got back into his truck and sped off into traffic.
So they did find him and he literally he had several machetes in his truck. Kane. He kept the machete that he used, just kept it right there on the dashboard his car was parked. He was, you know, doing something and just kept it right there on the dashboard.
Is that like an auto theft deterrent? Like would you bust up into somebody’s car if they just had like a machete, Like laying all cool like up in the never. Know who you got to cut the last minute. I just want to know why that seems so commonplace. The Machetes, I don’t know.
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This offer won’t last long, so get yours today. That’s Dana four Hillsdale dot com. Now all of my friends who are into football have been asking does this guy even? Did he ever actually coach football? Everybody’s been asking me this. Now, Cain and Steve, I set you guys up in slack.
I’m like, somebody’s going to explain this to me. I know nothing about football, nothing because I came from Saint Louis. Okay, Saint Louis is a baseball town. We had a big deal with our football and it was big and bad and it was very dramatic.
So don’t ask, because you know it’s there’s only two ways you get Saint Louis’s angry when you talk about MBEV buying Anheuser Busch to say nothing of the woke stuff that they did. And then when you get into football. So anyway, he was playing Madden with AOC which you know neither of them do this, neither of them play. Did it look like they knew what they were doing? I mean with Walls, we’re getting ready to talk about it didn’t, but it didn’t look like they knew at all what they were doing.
And so he posts this like screenshot Tim Walls does and he apparently, well, he got dragged for it. So there they were on Twitch. They were streaming Twitches like a streaming platform, so you can play games and do stuff and then you can stream on it and people can watch you play. And he was doing this yesterday.
He posted AOC can run a mean pick sense or pick six? Sorry, can run a mean pick six? And I can call an audible on a play. And we both know that if you take the time to drop a playbook, you’re going to use it and run a mean pick six. So, from what I was told, a pick six is not a defensive scheme, play call, or formation. It is a term when defense returns an interception for a touchdown.
Can’t explain it to me, like I’m two, all right, I know nothing about football. Let’s say your quarterback is throwing downfield too. That’s the Tom Brady position, right. He exactly to hit his wide receiver for a touchdown or whatever, and then the other team intercepts it and they run it all the way back to their end zone for the six points.
They picked the ball, ran it in for six. That’s a pick six. That’s not a formation. It’s not a play that you write down and say this is what we’re gonna do.
It’s just you hope it happens if you’re on defense. Why did he someone on his so someone in his camp deleted this tweet, but the Internet’s forever guys and drag the dragging had begunne did he say it was a pick six because there were six players on the scri I don’t understand why he said. That on the line of scrimmage. Yeah, that’s what I was gonna say, Sure.
Yes, because it looks like she has six people lined up. Ah, So why would he say that? First off, if you don’t know what you’re talking about, why would you say something like this. I don’t know if he’s doing. Is he like a patroll? Is he a playant? I don’t know.
I mean, we know he is for the CCP. But the reason I say this is he This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in my life? Why would you say this audio is on bye twenty gagas all now? Because this is where he just I don’t know. Watch. This is so hard to watch.
It’s so bad. Are we going to play some ball or what are we going to? Yeah, let’s do it. I’m ready to play, are you? I’m ready to get beat up? All right? Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s do this thing.
Oh no, this is so bad. You’re a good quarterback. You’ve got a good quarterback. He is, he is a good quarterback.
This is so awkward. Neither fact they’re enjoying us. Tried, I tried. See you’re a pro, though, so you can you.
Can call these ailes. Well. I think I know what these guys are doing, but I don’t know which day. They literally do not know, And I keep going back to this is Project twenty twenty five from Personal Freedoms.
I think a lot of folks on here are are kind of independent folks. Independent thinks this is so stupid. Why would you want the government telling you what books to read or what doctor does. So basically they’re pretending to play can be and they’re playing like so one of our listener slash viewers said, well, I can’t say what they sent.
They’re they’re playing fecally. I guess it’s the best way. Like they don’t even know how to play EPI. So apparently this person’s like his name is Joe.
He’s like a hardcore Madden person. He’s like they’re playing. It was like telling me I don’t even know about like I know the guy that the game was named after, and it’s legit all I know. Like, I’m not gonna fake it like Tim Walls.
Right, I’m not gonna fake it like AOC. I legit know nothing. I would be scoring on myself a million times if I play this guy. I have no idea or touchdowning on myself.
I don’t know, go team whatever, score down whatever, not even gonna lie. Everyone’s like, oh, dear heavens, stick to guns. See that’s what I’m saying. He does not do that.
He does not play. Come on, you know, he does not play. But they’re faking this and they’re going they’re trying to make they’re so desperate for young dudes that they’re on Twitch, and they’re trying to make a play for the for the dudes that are on Twitch, and the dude gamers, right, I mean there are women gamers, but I mean it’s just a it’s just way more dudes. And so it’s who’s said I play Now, I’ve ever played Madden, you know.
I usually I’ll like play horror games or first person shooter and that’s pretty much it. And I’ve never had a conversation with anybody like so, actually I don’t talk when I play, and I’m really selective about any kind of like co op or squatting up because you know, and I definitely don’t talk when I do. But I would never sit there and be like, so, guys, what do you think about the Saw and all the stuff about Project twenty five? Like what’s up? Like oh my gosh, can you believe with Kamala Harris and this fracking? Because you sound like a loon. No one plays to do that.
They play to get away from those people. When people play, they they want to When I play, I want to blow stuff up and shoot Tyrannids in the face. And I don’t want to be burdened by what has been I don’t want to have to deal with this from these people. Right, we can all agree we want an escape.
That is my escape, right, I have a friend that watches like the serial Killer murder true crime stuff and like the gorrier the better. And then and she like really believes that one day she’s going to solve a cold case. Like she goes to the whole like expos legit and everything. That’s her escape, right, that’s her escape because she works in administration for how kind she’s got to get away.
It’s a heavy job. She’s she needs an escape, her escape his serial killers sidebar? Is that really? Like would you ever want to mess with those people? Like their escape is true crime? Like you’re just asking to get murked they and they know how to do it. I just you know, I gotta say, anyway, back to this, did it look like they were playing? I don’t. I don’t.
How do you know that it wasn’t a staffer plane. I don’t know. They would have had to intentionally act like they didn’t kind of know what they were doing. I mean, he acts like he’s a Heisman winner.
I know what that is. He acts like he’s a Heisman Trophy winner and that you should respect his authorta about football. And then he’s like, oh, roll to pick six. Why would you say something like that publicly again back to my original question.
Knowing that you are going to get dragged on the internet if it’s not correct, you know what I’m saying, Why knucklehead? Just knucklehead stuff our friends over at Keltech the P fifteen. If you haven’t gotten a Keltech. If you haven’t gotten the P fifteen, you really need to. It is the lightest, thinnest, literally the lightest thinnest double stack nine millimeter on the market.
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It’s the P fifteen. Tell them that Dana sent you. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s quick five.
So the possible let’s say a couple of things. The DA actually wanted to get to this because we had this headline last week, Philadelphia DA sues Elon Musk and his superpack over all that million dollar sweep steak. Yeah, well you kind of knew that that was gonna that they were going to try to do something, whether or not it’s illegal. I just feel like money is speech and you can do whatever the hell you want.
They said it was an illegal lottery scheme. How is it an illegal lottery scheme? Because he was just saying you need to come. If you come and you support this like or integrity and you sign this petition, it wasn’t getting people to vote. Do you think it was an indisputably unlawful lottery? Kane I don’t really think it was either.
I feel like these people don’t know what lotteries are. So that’s gonna be a fun lawsuit for everybody. Aliens could be wandering around the earth right now. Speaking of Musk, this is something he believes, I kind of hope.
So he says that he hasn’t seen it, but we had, we should. He was joking with, we should have an alien registration card. I hope there are aliens walking around because I am bored senseless with the people already here on Earth. Not you guys, but like the left, I’m bored senseless.
Oh wait, wait, it’s an election seaes Anders. Wait till somebody gets called Hitler or like I can’t you know, I I wish. I hope that there’s some spice in life. Let’s have some aliens or some bigfoot whatever.
I just we need some kind of we need some kind of some kind of fun. But they said it could be walking around earth right now. This seven billion dollars for a city within a city planned for Phoenix, well that sounds like hell. It’s called Hallo Vista.
It’s a manufacturing complex developed by a Taiwan oh Taiwan semi conductor manufacturing company. Love them semiconductors. Wait a minute, full stop reverse. They said they’re spending sixty five billion.
It could go to one hundred and twenty billion, So it’ll be like a manufacturing plant a city within the city. I’m totally fine with that. Let them and their paint, so go, yeah, go ahead. I thought it was going to be like that crazy wall that they’re building out in the desert in the Middle East.
Remember the city wall where everybody lives in this giant wall that looks weird. I don’t know. A man was beaten with a mop with a mop near a stadium complex in South Philly say police had beaten to death with a mop. One man attacked another man with a mop near the intersection of the stadiums, and they said that it was about four to twenty and them more.
Of course, it was four twenty in the morning and the altercation. The victim was beaten to death with this improvised weapon. Doesn’t sound like it was improvised. It was just a mop.
Stick with us, We’ve got more in store. So can we talk about the Puerto Rico thing? Now we have a very interesting insight. First, let me set it up. Let me sit up, because he was at Madison Square Garden and he invited this comedian Tony Hitchcliffe to come up to the microphone and tell some jokes.
This is always kind of an awkward thing. So let me just start by saying, it is always awkward to bring up a comedian when you are in a political or you’re at a political event and everyone is one kind of like minded, right, because I think part of the beauty of comedy is being able to recognize the funny things about yourself and take it lightheartedly, you know. But the thing is, so he this this guy, Tony Hitchcliffe, He gets up, he does a short bit at the microphone. Do we have the joke? Do we even we’d have it? This is stee is like, yeap, I want to play this because I now I will say, I don’t think Trump looked at the rundown it was like, yeah, this is great, let’s roll with this.
I think it was the campaign people. But again, you you know, the buck stop somewhere. I don’t know who thought that. I don’t know.
He does this show in Austin, Texas. Is this the guy that has the Trump impersonator that comes out that’s actually funny. The guy who does the trumpetpersonator is actually hysterical. Oh my gosh, it is actually hysterical and it’s not like mean spirited or anything.
So I’ve seen this guy do his stuff before, but so he’s based in Austin. It’s actually really because he has like a Biden er. I watched one show that he did a way to Biden personator and a Trump impersonator and then it was actually very funny. So he comes out so it’s already I just feel like it’s a tough gig.
You’re at a political rally. You’re at a political rally in New York. You’re at a political rally in New York at Madison Square Garden. So just there’s a lot there.
So here’s this is what happened. You know, there’s a lot going on. Like I don’t know if you guys know this, but there’s literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now. Yeah.
I think it’s called Puerto Rico. Okay, all right, okay, we’re getting there again. Normally I don’t follow the national anthem. Everybody.
Ah, this isn’t exactly a perfect. Com so what gets me is so he was saying. Other he actually was going after everybody. He was saying.
What was one of his jokes was Israel and Gaza should settle their beef with best out of like the best out of three rock, papers and scissors, but Gazin’s will always choose to throw rock. That’s actually funny. I get it. I understand.
I don’t believe in cancel culture. We have a very interesting perspective at the show because one of our producers who works with the first is Puerto Rican and he’s actually conservative. I don’t know how much you want me to out you on, but and I was asking him about this, and I’m like, okay, you know, we’re I because I was like, were you offended? Were you just so offended? And now you’re like, cancel everything. Wan’s never talked on the show before, ever since his first time ever, Normally he’s pushing a million buttons.
Hey guys, no, I was not offend. I think it just like it goes right into the left narrative obviously because oh, Puerto Ricans tenttally left. But I mean, I believe there’s a big part of the Puerto Rico community that it’s actually conservative. So that’s why the mixed reaction in the crowd, you know.
So. But at the same time, I also don’t believe in cancel culture. So I mean, that’s it, that’s it. And I asked one I was like, you tenderly conservative, and he was like dead on in his answer.
He was like, Puerto Ricans are naturally conservative. Isn’t that what you said? I found that fascinating. Yeah, you’re like Puerto Ricans that are naturally and he’s He’s like, I wasn’t offendive, but you don’t believe that it was the place to do to do that. Yeah, it’s just not the forum.
Yeah, yeah, I get it. Thank you, Thank you. One I. I and my whole thing is never set your up to give your opponent OPO or any kind of political AMMO.
Never do that. And I was reading so a friend of mine was writing about this. Uh uh. He’s a podcaster.
His names Jeff Charles, and he always jokes about, like in a fun tongue in cheek way, people of whiteness. And these are people, my friend wrote, who put themselves in positions to be malled horribly by dangerous animals because they treat the dangerous animals as like friends and pets. And it’s like this long running joke like why do you do this? Why do you do this? And it’s funny because it’s actually true. I mean I’ve never you know, I mean, so he jokes and he’s like, people of whiteness, why do you do this? Like why are you trying to pet the bear? Quit it? Why? Why? Why do you can go touch this moose? You’re gonna get like beaten to death by the moose? Is why would you do this? And it’s funny because you know that.
That’s why it’s funny. But there’s a time and a place for that stuff, you know what I mean. And this close to the election, do I think that something like this is like an immediate Is it a big don’t think it’s a big deal. I really don’t.
And I think the people who are trying to make it a big deal are desperate prostitutes. You really are, Stop it, Stop himping for big Kamala because it’s ridiculous. It looks stupid. I am so done with people being offended.
I don’t think that there’s such a thing as being offended. I just think you’re a pansy. I think that you’re weak and that you’re soft, and that you are not made to go out and mingle with the public. So until you harden up, you need to keep your ass back in your house because you are ruining it for the rest of us.
Was it the place that he should have done this joke? No? And this is where I think it’s weird, because if you’re in comedy, there are certain times when you should be able to read the room and no, this is going to hit and this isn’t or this is the place to do it, and this isn’t you know what I mean. There’s certain places like for me, for instance, if there are certain times if I’m going to events, I can tell if people are in the mood for a deep discussion or if they’re in the mood for me to just like shred people. I mean they’re you know what I mean. It’s there’s a difference.
Uh. And you guys know this too, Like sometimes you’re in the mood to watch different things. So there’s you got to read the room. And it just wasn’t the best place to make this joke.
Is it a campaign end or No? And that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Furthermore, I’m just like wondering why the left thinks they get to be the arbiter of taste on this stuff. I mean you literally have I mean, well like what like like all of like all of the people that are freaking out about this, all of the rhetoric from the left, all of the dumb jokes from the left, all I mean, for crying out loud. Let’s never forget the view talking about, well, if you stop the lowing new worker and soone, who’s going to clean your toilets? I mean, that’s an actual SoundBite from the view.
All of this it’s so stupid. So it’s I think this is just the outrage. They’re trying everything that they can do to stoke division or grab onto something to use as substance. But I mean, you know, I think a lot of people I don’t think that, you know, conservative Puerto Ricans can.
I think the only people that are caring about it are the white Marxist saviors. Those are the only people that are trying to make it a big deal. And they’re like, oh, this guy needs to be canceled. They’ve been trying to cancel this dude now.
And I mean isn’t he Puerto Rican to himself? Hens Cliff, So I thought I read something like that anyway. But I mean, the thing is he’s a comedian and he’s he made a joke and he took a risk, and that’s part of comedy. Was it the best place to do it? No? Is it a career under No? And I think that people who say it should be they ought to be the ones who are canceled. I’m just tired of it.
I think we’re all tired of it. Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven’t already, made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.
