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Join us as we expose the absurdities in our society, from a Florida man’s regrettable actions against an innocent calf to Starbucks baristas demanding changes in their dress code, questioning the essence of the ‘Starbucks experience.’ We also explore the intrigue of armageddon preparedness inspired by an Argentinian sci-fi series. Tune in for these tales wrapped in humor and sharp wit.
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Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 12 :
I am really mad at this dude. A Florida man was arrested Tuesday because he shot his neighbor’s cow multiple times because he was angry that it had jumped over his fence. It was a two year old calf that had at least five gunshot wounds. She had been shot in the chest, the abdomen or the guts, the rear leg, everything. The animal was lying on the ground, struggling to move in a lot of pain as the deputies approached and it had to be euthanized. And the cow’s owner said his neighbor, Hung Trinh, T-R-I-N-H, 54, was angry. Oh, man. And he used a .22. Like an absolute pansy. Hung Trin, major Florida man pansy, used a .22 to go and shoot this calf. So he’s charged with animal cruelty. I personally think he ought to be dragged behind a truck, but that’s me. Grand theft of a commercial farm animal, according to the sheriff’s office. And I’m glad that the sheriff, Carmine Marceno, went hard on it and was like, we’re not going to tolerate this because it’s a farming community, number one. I mean, there’s a lot of cattle ranchers in this area. And they, I like the way police handled it, but this infuriates me. That’s so ignorant. That is so ignorant. It jumped your fence. Oh, use your little, use your little sissy boy 22 to go out and handle the cow. Golly. Let’s see. Oh, man bites dog, dog bites man. Coyote attacks Florida man in a shocking junkyard incident. I’m, uh, It’s a… I can’t get this to open, of course. Of course it would. Yeah, I know. We’re going to probably have to… I don’t think we’re going to be able to get this one. Yeah, well, I can’t get that either. Because, yay, yay, Safari. What? I know. Anyway, but I’m mad about the guy that… So the coyote, he attacked a Florida man. Shocking junkyard incident. It was on Tuesday, and the guy was going about his usual routine, and he saw this disoriented, rough-looking coyote, and it wandered into his lot, and then it just lunged at him. He said it didn’t just bite and run, that it held onto his arm. And they had to call Florida Wildlife, etc. But that, I mean… That sounds rabid in those instances. They didn’t follow up on that, but I’m sure that they checked it out. They’re mad because they have a… That’s Starbucks baristas who are picketing because of a dress code. I’m trying to understand why they’re upset. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you. And that’s… Right? What are the… What’s wrong with the uniform?
SPEAKER 13 :
Nothing.
SPEAKER 12 :
Like, what are they… I don’t understand. They said that they’re protesting the dress code per AP. Blah. Because it requires them to wear a solid black shirt and khaki black or blue denim bottoms. And then under the previous dress code, they could wear a broader range of darker colors. They said they want their green aprons to stand out. And a Starbucks workers united said the dress code should be subject to collective bargaining. Starbucks, they said, has lost its way. Instead of listening to baristas who make, oh my gosh, are you? Instead of making, listening to baristas who make the Starbucks experience what it is. Wait, what is the Starbucks experience? Hold up. What is the Starbucks experience? My favorite is the names purposefully not being right, which I think is a gimmick. Did you ever see the thing where the guy was like, my name is Mark with a C and they put Cark on the cup? Yeah. And like what else? Like when you wait for forever for your over roasted beans. Right. Is that what it is? Or I mean, I’m just curious. Like it’s I don’t know. I don’t get it. You’re it’s you’re you’re serving coffee. You’re a barista. When I was a waitress throughout college, I had to wear like darker slacks. I got a uniform shirt, but I had to wear dark colored slacks and dark tennis shoes. I could not wear bright colors. And I went with it because that was the rule. Businesses have the right to go. We want to make sure our branding stands out. And if you don’t like it, dear sweet heavens, go get another job because it’s amazing. There’s so many coffee places in the United States, Cain. There’s so many coffee places in the United States.
SPEAKER 11 :
It’s not like a heritage thing. I have to work at Starbucks because my grandmother worked at Starbucks and her grandmother worked at Starbucks. You make coffee.
SPEAKER 12 :
It’s very simple. Somebody goes, customers don’t care what color our clothes are. I don’t care about hearing someone bitch about having to wear a certain attire to make coffee. I just… They said that they’re being criticized because they sell styles of Starbucks branded clothing that employees can’t wear. And Starbucks said it would give two free black T-shirts to each employee when it announced the dress code. That’s what I got when I worked at Houlihan’s. Oh, I did. I was slinging that Tatey soup. I worked at Houlihan’s. I had to wear dark. I’d wear black tennis shoes and they were not the attractive kind. They were like nursing home tennis shoes and black trousers. And I like a maroon shirt and it had to be long sleeve. I can’t even wear short sleeve. My stuff had to be long sleeve and it had to be a button down shirt. That’s what I had to wear. It was really unfortunate in August. So the apparently fewer than less than one percent of Starbucks workers are even participating in the strikes. I’m just I’m sorry. This is such a first world entitled brat problem. Can you, is it, is it possible to, I don’t want to protest. I just want to make fun of people in a picket line style. Can you, if someone’s like doing that for this, can you just make fun of them while they’re doing it? Like, oh, I’m so sad. I don’t get to wear what I want to wear at work. Man, how do you think doctors and nurses feel when they got to wear scrubs to operate on brains and stuff? Wow. You’re making coffee. Now, if you don’t like it, you can go work at Dunkin’. Or I don’t even know what their uniform requirements are. Or a million of these other little coffee places. Do you think it’s like a bragging point? And the reason I am asking this, is it because do they view being a barista at Starbucks as like snooty? Like, oh, you work at Dunkin’? I’m a barista at Starbucks. Steve, you’re a millennial. Is that a thing? Do you know anybody who’s a barista? Does that literally look like that? I mean, it’s a fancy word for a coffeehouse employee who literally pulls espresso.
SPEAKER 07 :
You know what’s funny is that the only people I know that are still working that type of job look exactly like that.
SPEAKER 12 :
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, is there… I would be more… I don’t know. Like, I just…
SPEAKER 16 :
I’m wondering what the specific complaint about the dress code is because they haven’t stated it. They said we’re against a dress code, but they haven’t stated what about that dress code is unpleasant or whatever it is they’re standing against.
SPEAKER 02 :
It’s not what we want, Kane.
SPEAKER 16 :
Right. That’s literally all they’re saying. Yeah, I don’t get it. I they don’t like long sleeves like they don’t like black shirts. They haven’t said anything about what the dress code is and what their actual objections are. They’re just objecting to the idea of a company having a dress code. This is a waste of time.
SPEAKER 12 :
So barista is based on it originated in Italy. It’s like, you know, it’s a it’s a person that makes the coffee. Right. And it’s it’s an Italian term. And I’m sorry, but I’ve been to Italian coffee shops in Italy and I’ve been to Starbucks. What you’re doing is not the same.
SPEAKER 1 :
It’s not.
SPEAKER 12 :
It is not. Don’t sit here and try to sell me the stale ass lemon pound cake and your over roasted beans and be like, no, I’m a barista. You’re pulling coffee. It’s not the same. It is not the same experience. I mean, I would like to think that some of the actual baristas that are in Italy, like when they’re pulling espresso, if they think it smells bad or burnt or stale, they’re, I’m not serving this. You don’t even give us an affogato. Stop it. So mad. I have to wear these clothes to serve coffee. So less than 1% are protesting. You cannot make fun of this stuff enough. Good night. And they’re mad about it. And I’m… I don’t know. Clearly, I’m missing something. Apparently, I don’t know. We all are. I just think that there’s maybe, I don’t know. They said that it should have been collective bargaining. What? Shut up. Go work somewhere else then. I can’t. Man. Okay, so sidebar. Because this really puts me in the frame of mind. I’ve been watching this sci-fi show basically about an alien invasion. I don’t really like watching a lot of TV, but it has to be engaging. And if your first 60 seconds isn’t good, I’m not watching. Like if I take a bite of food and it tastes bad, I will spit it out on my plate and I will not eat it. I’m like, you know, life’s too short. You know what I’m saying? Like if I had bad coffee, I’ll be like, this tastes like Satan made it. And I’ll slide it back over. Anyway. So I’ve been watching this show. It’s called The Eaternaut. And it’s… Is it on Netflix? I can’t remember. Yeah, it’s on Netflix. It’s an Argentinian show based in Argentina. So there’s subtitles. Never do a dub, ever. Dubs suck. They’re horrible. But the show is called The Eaternaut. And it’s non-woke at all. There’s no woke. But it is so good. It’s very brilliantly done. And my kids… one of my kids in particular, because I was talking about like, man, if this was happening, I would already be like a warlord and I would have all this like shut down and I’d have a gate and I’d have blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? Through all the asteroids, SMOD, everything else. Let’s just get right to it, right? But this kind of stuff. It puts me right there. I’m like, this stuff wouldn’t fly. If it’s not enough for you to be concerned about during Armageddon, then maybe don’t get upset about it right now. Right? I feel like that’s a pretty good measure. Use the Armageddon yardstick. Are you going to be mad about this if you’re dealing with an alien invasion and a pole reversal? Because if not, shut up.
SPEAKER 06 :
Armageddon Yardstick is a dope band name.
SPEAKER 12 :
Dude, right? That is actually a pretty good band name. Now that I think about it. But the Eater Knot is fabulous. It’s so good. It’s such a good… Oh, it’s so good. But anyway, I’m like, I could swing that. I mean, sure, I’ll fight aliens and whatever. I could hang with that. But at least I won’t have, you know, people complaining that they have to wear a certain kind of shirt while they’re pulling coffee at the Starbucks. Would you want somebody like that making your food?
SPEAKER 16 :
I don’t care about the attire of the person who’s making my food.
SPEAKER 12 :
I don’t either. I don’t care what a company’s little dispute they have with their people.
SPEAKER 16 :
I just want it in the time I’m supposed to get it.
SPEAKER 12 :
I just, why is it $13 for like a regular, you know, I don’t get coffee at Starbucks because, you know.
SPEAKER 16 :
It took me like two visits to figure out the difference between Venti and Grande because Grande is supposed to be large. That’s what Grande means. And then Venti is only 20 and it’s like, that’s not very large.
SPEAKER 12 :
Well, you’re not supposed to have that much coffee.
SPEAKER 16 :
But Venti’s the largest.
SPEAKER 12 :
Like nobody drinks, like that’s, Starbucks made giant, you know, garbage sizes like normal. It’s not supposed to be like that. Like your coffee should not be cold by the time you get to the end of it. That’s bad. I agree with that. That means you’ve been given too much and that’s stupid.
SPEAKER 15 :
But I always like more coffee.
SPEAKER 12 :
Then you can have several different shots of it. I like espresso or just like an Americano. I want it black and bitter like my heart. Save your stupid sugar and your milk that just reduces the intensity. Nay. So anyway, I could not get over that story. I was fascinated by that, and I absolutely had to share that with you. Our partners that help bring you the program, it’s our friends over at Caltech, the Gen 3 Sub 2K, a fold-in half gun. It’s very cool. And it’s in 10 millimeter now, which a lot of people have been, like myself included, have been waiting for. Kel-Tec, a great American company, and American parts, American labor, more companies should be like Kel-Tec. And they’ve raised the bar with this new third generation sub-2K, folds fast, optics stay in place, deploys just as fast. Innovative, the rotating… Four in, twist it, fold it down 16 and a half inches for super easy storage and transport. It also takes Glock mags. You got a 15 round standard, 15 round Glock 20 mag, got a lot of capacity for whatever you need. They even have a drum available, 50 round drum, you know, for fewer reloads, more, more patriotism. And internal buffer for softer recoil, lightened 5-pound trigger pull. It got rails up top for accessories, M-LOK integrated. Really cool. Great for anything, home defense, camping, church security, backpacking, whatever you want. It’s perfect for it. And 10-millimeter. Learn more at Kel-TechWeapons.com. Innovation, performance, Kel-Tech. K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.
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In honor of Military Appreciation Month, Verizon thought of a lot of different ways we could show our appreciation, like rolling out the red carpet. giving you your own personal marching band or throwing a bumping shindig. At Verizon, we’re doing all that in the form of special military offers. That’s why this month only, we’re giving military and veteran families a $200 Verizon gift card and a phone on us with a select trade-in and a new line on select unlimited plans. Think of it as our way of flying a squadron of jets overhead while launching fireworks. Now that’s what we call a celebration because we’re proud to serve you. Visit your local Verizon store to learn more. $200 Verizon gift card requires smartphone purchase $799.99 or more with new line on eligible plan. Gift card sent within eight weeks after receipt of claim. Phone offer requires $799.99 purchase with new smartphone line on unlimited ultimate or postpaid unlimited plus. Minimum plan $80 a month with auto pay plus taxes and fees for 36 months. Less $800 trade-in or promo credit applied over 36 months. 0% APR. Trade-in must be from Apple, Google or Samsung. Trade-in and additional terms apply.
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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
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So apparently bald dudes are bringing back the toupee. Well, women get extensions. Man, let me tell you something. You don’t let a broad make fun of you for wearing a toupee because these girls out here getting like five foot long extensions put up on their head. If they’re not getting extensions put up on their eyelashes. So you know what? You don’t get no heat for that. Take that to the bank. But they are bringing it back. I would imagine, too, that they are much nicer than they were like when I was a kid. Because when I was a kid, it was very obvious that somebody had a toupee. So they said that… This is a New York Post piece. And they said that men are bringing them back. I also thought dudes were doing the hair plugs or whatever. Maybe not. But yeah, toupees are coming back. They’re coming back again. An ancient reptile footprint has upended theories about when animals evolved to live on land. There was a little short that Monty Python had one time where they took this bone of something and… fabricated it into a completely made up animal and put it in a museum. It was one of their little cartoon breaks that they had for Monty Python. And it makes me, these kind of stories make me think of this every time. It’s a 350 million year old fossil. And they said it shows characteristics similar to that of monitor lizards. And it’s been in Australia 350 million years ago, they suggest, is when it emerged. But they think that animals developed the ability to live on land faster than previously assumed. I actually don’t really care about any of that. I mean, I think it’s interesting, but does it matter? Oh, is it a billion years earlier or not? Does it change where we are right now? I don’t know. Oh, this is really gross. Chimpanzees actually use leaves. It’s gross, but not. They clean themselves. Like, that’s nature’s tissue for them. The leaves. It’s nature’s tissue. They’ve been studying them. The horrible left-wing rag that is called the Guardian said that they did this study on all of these chimpanzees. Have they always done that, or is that new?
SPEAKER 16 :
I mean, leaves have been around forever.
SPEAKER 12 :
Bad ape. What?
SPEAKER 16 :
The leaves have been around forever, so I imagine they’ve been doing it forever.
SPEAKER 12 :
But, like, them using them to actually groom themselves with a leaf, it’s kind of… I don’t know. It’s interesting. Air traffic control hotline between Pentagon and Reagan Washington National Airport. That’s been broken since 2022. I think that might be needed. They said that it’s supposed to be for coordinating aircraft and it hasn’t worked since March of 2022. They were not aware that the direct line was broken until a May 1st incident when a helicopter circled the Pentagon and caused two flights to abort landings. I feel like they need to get that hotline fixed. So wait a minute. Poot Booty Juice, when he was secretary of transportation, he didn’t know that.
SPEAKER 16 :
He didn’t do anything about it.
SPEAKER 12 :
He didn’t do anything about it. Sean Duffy gets in there and he’s like, oh my gosh, what is happening? So he immediately remedies it. But what the hell was… Oh, that’s right. Poop Booty Juice had just bought some children and was pretending that he had birthed them in the hospital when he took months off for maternity leave. That’s right. That’s right. The DOD also maintains the hotline, but the fact that you were not able to coordinate… any of that air traffic and you had that issue happen, that’s pretty crazy. I read this when I first read this. I thought it said a fish cemetery. I said, what? A fisher’s cemetery employee got charged because he dug up a grave for a gold ring. Sounds like a old Tales from the Crypt story. Seth Davidson, 24, told police that he buried an urn with a gold ring in it and couldn’t stop thinking about it. And so this is in Indianapolis. He apparently dug it up. He grave robbed. We don’t do that anymore. We don’t grave rob. We haven’t done that since, well, hell, I don’t know, at least 100 years. We don’t grave rob anymore, but not this guy. There were reports of a suspicious car in the area, and that’s what tipped off police to find him. GoldCo is making it easy to take that first step toward protecting your savings. Just fill out a quick form, no commitment, just free information. And then they’ll ship you your free 2025 gold and silver kits straight to your door. No shipping fees, no strings. just a free info kit to help you understand how gold and silver can fit into your financial plan. I’m a big believer in doing your research, and this kit is a great place to start. So I’m really excited to be partnering with Goldco because not only do they support my show, which I truly appreciate, but they’ve made the whole process of buying precious metals Super straightforward. Because if you’re a fan of the show, Gold Co. is also going to tell you how to qualify for unlimited free bonus silver on eligible orders. If you qualify, you can even get a free half ounce silver Ronald Reagan coin. Totally free. Don’t wait. Take that first step towards protecting and diversifying your savings with Gold Co. Visit danalikesgold.com to learn more. That’s danalikesgold.com.
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In honor of Military Appreciation Month, Verizon thought of a lot of different ways we could show our appreciation. Like rolling out the red carpet. Giving you your own personal marching band. or throwing a bumping shindig. At Verizon, we’re doing all that in the form of special military offers. That’s why this month only, we’re giving military and veteran families a $200 Verizon gift card and a phone on us with a select trade-in and a new line on select unlimited plans. Think of it as our way of flying a squadron of jets overhead while launching fireworks. Now that’s what we call a celebration because we’re proud to serve you. Visit your local Verizon store to learn more. $200 Verizon gift card requires smartphone purchase $799.99 or more with new line on eligible plan. Gift card sent within eight weeks after receipt of claim. Phone offer requires $799.99 purchase with new smartphone line on unlimited ultimate or postpaid unlimited plus. Minimum plan $80 a month with auto pay plus taxes and fees for 36 months. Less $800 trade-in or promo credit applied over 36 months. 0% APR. Trade-in must be from Apple, Google, or Samsung. Trade-in and additional terms apply.
SPEAKER 09 :
Hamas releases its last American hostage just hours before Trump’s trip to the Middle East. Lefties in the media now insist they didn’t hide Joe Biden’s decline. It was their sources who lied. And Homeland Security is investigating whether Los Angeles County gave our Social Security benefits to illegals. I’m Greg Karumbas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the 3 Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the good, bad, and crazy news of the day, and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the 3 Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 03 :
I believe that we will win!
SPEAKER 12 :
They’re mad because they have a… That’s Starbucks baristas who are picketing because of a dress code. I’m trying to understand why they’re upset. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you. And that’s… Right? What are the… What’s wrong with the uniform?
SPEAKER 13 :
Nothing.
SPEAKER 12 :
Like, what are they… I don’t understand. They said that they’re protesting the dress code per AP. Ugh. Because it requires them to wear a solid black shirt and khaki black or blue denim bottoms. And then they under the previous dress code, they could wear a broader range of darker colors. They said they want their green aprons to stand out. And a Starbucks workers united said the dress code should be subject to collective bargaining. Starbucks, they said, has lost its way. Instead of listening to baristas who make, oh my gosh, are you, instead of making, listening to baristas who make the Starbucks experience what it is, wait, what is the Starbucks experience? Hold up. What is the Starbucks experience? My favorite is the names purposefully not being right, which I think is a gimmick. Did you ever see the thing where the guy was like, my name is Mark with a C, and they put Cark on the cup? Yeah. And like what else? Like when you wait for forever for your over roasted beans. Right. Is that what it is? Or I mean, I’m just curious. Like it’s I don’t know. I don’t get it. You’re it’s you’re you’re serving coffee. You’re a barista. When I was a waitress throughout college, I had to wear like darker slacks. I got a uniform shirt, but I had to wear dark colored slacks and dark tennis shoes. I could not wear bright colors. And I went with it because that was the rule. Businesses have the right to go. We want to make sure our branding stands out. And if you don’t like it, dear sweet heavens, go get another job because it’s amazing. There are so many coffee places in the United States, Cain. There’s so many coffee places in the United States.
SPEAKER 11 :
It’s not like a heritage thing. I have to work at Starbucks because my grandmother worked at Starbucks and her grandmother worked at Starbucks. You make coffee.
SPEAKER 12 :
It’s very simple. Somebody goes, customers don’t care what color our clothes are. I don’t care about hearing someone bitch about having to wear a certain attire to make coffee. I just… They said that they’re being criticized because they sell styles of Starbucks branded clothing that employees can’t wear. And Starbucks said it would give two free black T-shirts to each employee when it announced the dress code. That’s what I got when I worked at Houlihan’s. Oh, I did. I was slinging that Tatey soup. I worked at Houlihan’s. I had to wear dark. I’d wear black tennis shoes and they were not the attractive kind. They were like nursing home tennis shoes and black trousers. And I had like a maroon shirt and it had to be long sleeve. I can’t even wear short sleeve. My stuff had to be long sleeve and it had to be a button down shirt. That’s what I had to wear. It was really unfortunate in August. So the apparently fewer than less than one percent of Starbucks workers are even participating in the strikes. I’m just I’m sorry. This is such a first world entitled brat problem. Can you, is it, is it possible to, I don’t want to protest. I just want to make fun of people in a picket line style. Can you, if someone’s like doing that for this, can you just make fun of them while they’re doing it? Like, oh, I’m so sad. I don’t get to wear what I want to wear at work. Man, how do you think doctors and nurses feel when they gotta wear scrubs to operate on brains and stuff? Wow! You’re making coffee! Now, if you don’t like it, you can go work at Dunkin’. Or, I don’t even know what their uniform requirements are. Or a million of these other little coffee places. Do you think it’s like a bragging point? Wait, here’s a question I have. This ought to be, honestly, like a Christopher Guest documentary called Barista. I just came up with it right now in my head. Where it’s like a best in show that made fun of dog shows and Parker Posey was in it and it’s hysterical. But it’s like for baristas. So… Is it and the reason I am asking this, is it because do they view being a barista at Starbucks as like snooty? Like, oh, you’re you work at Dunkin. I’m a barista at Starbucks. Is that Steve? You’re a millennial. Is that a thing? Do you know anybody who’s a barista? Does that literally look like that? I mean, it’s a fancy word for a coffeehouse employee who literally pulls espresso.
SPEAKER 07 :
You know what’s funny is that the only people I know that are still working that type of job look exactly like that.
SPEAKER 12 :
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, is there… I would be more… I don’t know. Like, I just…
SPEAKER 16 :
I’m wondering what the specific complaint about the dress code is because they haven’t stated it. They said we’re against a dress code, but they haven’t stated what about that dress code is unpleasant or whatever it is they’re standing against.
SPEAKER 02 :
It’s not what we want, Kane.
SPEAKER 16 :
Right. That’s literally all they’re saying. I don’t get it. They don’t like long sleeves. They don’t like black shirts. They haven’t said anything about what the dress code is and what their actual objections are. They’re just objecting to the idea of a company having a dress code. This is a waste of time.
SPEAKER 12 :
So barista is based on, it originated in Italy. It’s like, you know, it’s a person that makes the coffee, right? And it’s an Italian term. And I’m sorry, but I’ve been to Italian coffee shops in Italy and I’ve been to Starbucks. What you’re doing is not the same.
SPEAKER 1 :
It’s not.
SPEAKER 12 :
It is not. Don’t sit here and try to sell me the stale ass lemon pound cake and your over roasted beans and be like, no, I’m a barista. You’re pulling coffee. It’s not the same. It is not the same experience. I mean, I would like to think that some of the actual baristas that are in Italy, like when they’re pulling espresso, if they think it smells bad or burnt or stale, they’re, I’m not serving this. You don’t even give us an affogato. Stop it. So mad. I have to wear these clothes to serve coffee. So less than 1% are protesting. You cannot make fun of this stuff enough. Good night. And they’re mad about it. And I’m I don’t know. Clearly I’m missing something. Apparently. I don’t know. We all are. I just think that there’s maybe, I don’t know. They said that it should have been collective bargaining. Shut up. Go work somewhere else then. I can’t. Man. Okay, so sidebar. Because this really puts me in the frame of mind. I’ve been watching this sci-fi show basically about an alien invasion. I don’t really like watching a lot of TV, but it has to be engaging. And if your first 60 seconds isn’t good, I’m not watching. Like if I take a bite of food and it tastes bad, I will spit it out on my plate and I will not eat it. I’m like, you know, life’s too short. You know what I’m saying? Like if I had bad coffee, I’ll be like, this tastes like Satan made it. And I’ll slide it back over. Anyway. So I’ve been watching this show. It’s called The Eaternaut. And it’s… Is it on Netflix? I can’t remember. Yeah, it’s on Netflix. It’s an Argentinian show based in Argentina. So there’s subtitles. Never do a dub, ever. Dubs suck. They’re horrible. But the show is called The Eaternaut. And it’s non-woke at all. There’s no woke. But it is so good. It’s very brilliantly done. And my kids… one of my kids in particular, because I was talking about like, man, if this was happening, I would already be like a warlord and I would have all this like shut down and I’d have a gate and I’d have blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? Through all the asteroids, SMOD, everything else. Let’s just get right to it, right? But this kind of stuff. It puts me right there. I’m like, this stuff wouldn’t fly. If it’s not enough for you to be concerned about during Armageddon, then maybe don’t get upset about it right now. Right? I feel like that’s a pretty good measure. Use the Armageddon yardstick. Are you going to be mad about this if you’re dealing with an alien invasion and a pole reversal? Because if not, shut up.
SPEAKER 06 :
Armageddon Yardstick’s a dope band name.
SPEAKER 12 :
Dude, right? That is actually a pretty good band name. Now that I think about it. But the Eaternaut is fabulous. It’s so good. It’s such a good… Oh, it’s so good. But anyway, I’m like, I could swing that. I mean, sure, I’ll fight aliens and whatever. I could hang with that. But at least I won’t have, you know, people complaining that they have to wear a certain kind of shirt while they’re pulling coffee at the Starbucks. Would you want somebody like that making your food?
SPEAKER 16 :
I don’t care about the attire of the person who’s making my food.
SPEAKER 12 :
I don’t either. I don’t care what a company’s little dispute they have with their people.
SPEAKER 16 :
I just want it in the time I’m supposed to get it.
SPEAKER 12 :
I just, why is it $13 for like a regular, you know, I don’t get coffee at Starbucks because, you know.
SPEAKER 16 :
It took me like two visits to figure out the difference between Venti and Grande because Grande is supposed to be large. That’s what Grande means. And then Venti is only 20 and it’s like, that’s not very large.
SPEAKER 12 :
Well, you’re not supposed to have that much coffee.
SPEAKER 16 :
But Venti’s the largest.
SPEAKER 12 :
Like, nobody drinks, like, that’s, Starbucks made giant, you know, garbage sizes, like, normal. It’s not supposed to be like that. Like, your coffee should not be cold by the time you get to the end of it. That’s bad. I agree with that. That means you’ve been given too much, and that’s stupid.
SPEAKER 15 :
But I always like more coffee.
SPEAKER 12 :
Then you can have several different shots of it. I like espresso or just like an Americano. I want it black and bitter like my heart. Save your stupid sugar and your milk that just reduces the intensity. Nay. So anyway, I could not get over that story. I was fascinated by that. And I absolutely had to share that with you.
SPEAKER 08 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 14 :
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Absurd Truth: Failed Dishwashing Robots