A critical discussion unfolds regarding the content appropriateness of children’s shows, with Dana voicing concerns about overstepping boundaries during Gay Pride Month. On a lighter note, the episode delves into wild wonders like how a meatball the size of the human race would look and Meta’s stride towards an emissions-free future via nuclear energy.
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
SPEAKER 03 :
It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
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A Florida man was in he got in trouble because he apparently was scamming elderly people out of money while already behind bars for scamming elderly people out of money. A 92-year-old dude from Sun City Center, Florida, is out $800,000. He got catfished by a 37-year-old dude who’s behind bars. People have got to be… O.T. Swinton. He was arrested. He’s been charged with multiple accounts of fraud. And this has happened like a million… People have got to be so careful with this stuff. Oh, my gosh. You just… You can’t… I get so worried about these scams. A Florida woman deputy resigned after she was arrested for evading and driving a motorcycle with a fake tag that read, Chase them three. Oh, sorry. Chase them. Is that? Yeah, chase me. It looks like chase them three. Chase me. Well, they did. And they arrested her. And she went to the pokey. Just saying.
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It’s time to finally unveil Ellen’s monster makeover!
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Oh, it’s uncanny. Ellen looked just like Jonathan Van Ness.
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Cookie Monster, Cookie, that is Jonathan Van Ness. Elmo, Cookie, are you ready to see my monster piece? Ready, Jonathan! Mama Bear, some runway music, please. Oh, yeah. People and monsters alike, a round of applause for the not-too-late show’s newest monster, Alan! Ta-da! Woo! Alan Monster is wearing the latest in high monster fashion with a set of sleek horns, fluffy, fuzzy fur, all topped off with a monster honker. There’s that!
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I had to look at who this dude is. I have no idea. Oh, he’s a pilot for Kill Me Now. Anyway, it’s just some dude. He’s like an influencer. Steve, I really want to read what Steve put in Slack. Because there are. He goes, there’s two. He caps locked two. T-W-O. There’s two. I can’t say that word, can I?
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No, not that word.
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Are you sure? Phallic. Thank you. Jokes in this clip. But he said the D word. Two. And then he caps locked it again and repeated it. Why is it even needed to throw in there?
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It’s a Sesame Street clip.
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Right.
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Oh, my gosh. Like, yeah. Do you want to see my monster piece? Like, oh, yeah. No. Oh, man. No. When you make Steve weird about it, that says a lot, you know? Not like Steve’s a freak or anything, but, you know, when you make Steve… Like, it’s a kid’s show, you know? Like, would you want your kids watching this? Would you want your nieces and nephews watching? No. Welcome back to the show. Dana Lash, top of the second hour. Well, it’s Gay Everything Month. Oh, I know. It was Memorial Day just a couple weeks ago. You get a day. Because apparently it’s braver to talk about how much you like to have… intercourse and how you like to do it. That’s apparently braver. Our society is. Where’s the asteroid? Golly. So that was Sesame Street. What’s the point of that? I mean, what do they think the point of it is? I mean, obviously, I’m sorry. That’s grooming. Because you’re… Here’s why. You are… showcasing something that’s literally entirely about genitals. It’s not a lifestyle of how you have sex. Look, I don’t care what adults do. But when you start going to this level, the reason I think that Kane and I have such a major problem with this is so we’re Gen X. And yes, I’m on the younger end of the spectrum, but I’m not a millennial. And when we were young, growing up in the 90s, it was always behind closed doors. What someone does behind closed doors is not your business, things like that, right? It was something that I don’t remember it being this aggressively pushed like this in society. And I think that… They’re conflating activists are conflating people having an issue with it being pushed so aggressively like this, even towards kids and objection to what private individuals do in their own private time. Right. I think there’s a there’s a major difference and they conflate it so that they can victimize themselves. Nobody loves victimizing themselves more than gay activists. I mean, they want to be the queens of all victims. And that’s what I think what’s so hard for us to grasp because that’s literally all we heard growing up. Oh, behind closed doors, right? What happens to my clothes? It’s their business. It’s not your business, whatever, whatever. And now it’s like, no, no, no. Not only do you have to accept it, but you have to applaud it, cheer it, and all of that. That is way different from how we were raised. You know, like I don’t sit here and go out and be like, oh, I shouldn’t say this. You know what I mean? Like we don’t sit here and talk about the stuff that we do because no manners and also nobody cares, right? Nobody cares. I don’t know why these white gay activists think that they have to. And then they get upset like, what do you mean we can’t talk about penises with your child? Well, that’s not appropriate. Why do you hate gay people? Well, there’s, no, that’s not what we’re talking about. You’re conflating everything. It’s just weird and it’s aggravating and annoying. And you don’t need to be doing this for kids. If you do this with kids, you can’t get offended if we’re being called a groomer because that’s what you are. It’s messed up. This is messed up. Yeah, take it back in the closet. Go back in the closet. Get the hell back in there. This is… I was telling Cain, a friend of mine, I don’t want to out them. Well, I mean, you know, like, you know, publicly. But they consider themselves a gay conservative. And they got, a couple years ago, they got stuck in traffic because gay activists blocked the road. And they recorded themselves leaning out of their car, screaming, why can’t you just be normal, F-A… You know, why can’t you just be normal and go do normal FA stuff? And they were mad because they were made late to work. It’s the whole thing is I just I don’t understand what the protest is, what all of this is about. And Nike have to have a whole month of this. And now what the activists are mad because Target was like, the rainbow stuff isn’t selling. Let’s put the flag stuff in its place. And now they’re all mad as though like USA merchandise is somehow is not inclusive of gay people. I don’t I don’t get it. But it’s this is beyond. This is about when you’re roping the kids into it. This isn’t about acceptance. This is about brainwashing at this point. And these kids don’t understand these concepts. I think it’s abusive. They don’t understand these concepts. Can’t have video. Okay, they shut this road down. What is this? It’s on our audio list, right? They shut this road down. I can’t say what they were chanting, can I? Well, wait. If I can’t say what they’re chanting, that is so lame.
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But it’s news.
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So they said that. Well, no, I can’t say that. No, they did say honk if you love strippers, which I have no idea what that has to do with gay activist protests. I don’t know. But they had an ambulance in Minneapolis. They had to do a detour because there were a group of people in thongs that blocked the road. And they created a blockade. It’s the grain belt bridge. It was blocked for over 25 minutes during rush hour. And they blocked the bridge. And it was activists that were like in thongs. And they were screaming. I can’t say something. They said we love this. And we love that. I can’t say any of those things on air. And then they said something about strippers. Which I don’t even understand what that was about. And… And I don’t know. I don’t know. I have a question. Yes, Cain.
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What if someone dies as a result of their ambulance being blocked by these thong-wearing protesters? Who do they hold accountable at that point? Who’s held accountable?
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I don’t know. I mean, I’d like to say the activists, but we all know apparently that that’s never going to happen. Blocking traffic. You. OK, so our protest is aren’t they supposed to be to attract sympathy and support? Isn’t that what protests are for? So how did we go from that to protests are just about making everybody mad? If you I don’t care what you’re if you are protesting against clubbing baby seals. and you block me and rush our traffic, I will literally come out and club a baby seal to death myself as a protest against your protest. No, you won’t. Oh, hell yes, I will. No. To hell with the seals at that point. Done with it. You can’t do that. I mean, you can say that I can’t, but I physically can. Whatever it is. If you’re like, we don’t want to shoot kittens out of a cannon and we’re going to block traffic. We’re protesting against shooting kittens out of a cannon. We’re going to block traffic. I’m going to shoot a kitten out of a cannon now to spite you because you blocked me and rushed our traffic. You’re not engendering sympathy for your cause. That’s the whole point. You know, I mean, you’re you’re I mean, think about like in the 60s and, you know, the peaceful protests at lunch counters. And when you would see what, you know, what individuals endured, you know, you would you would it was a nonviolent protest. You would you would have sympathy and support that generated for that. And that’s that’s normally how protests go. You’re not you’re not supposed to just tick off everybody that you’re trying to get support from. But I feel like these are remedial people we’re dealing with here. They’re not the brightest activists out there. They really aren’t. So it’s rainbow everything right now. Kel-Tec’s Gen 3 Sub 2K, which they rolled out with just a month ago. And it’s another game changer from Kel-Tec, which always makes really cool stuff. Incredibly neat stuff. Great quality. I mean, it’s American parts, American labor, and everything is made right here in the U.S. of A., And it is the Sub 2K. This is the one that folds in half, which is awesome because it’s like gun origami. You can just take it and fold it in half. It’s awesome. Folding available in all these different calibers. Now even more versatile with the 10-millimeter chambering. Single twist and fold motion to that rotating forend. That’s what folds it in half. And it deploys just as quickly and easily, zeroed and ready to rock. simple and reliable blowback design so you have ease and maintenance and consistent performance internal buffer for softer recoil lighter five pound trigger pull you have an integrated m lock and you got rails up top for accessories ideal for everything and it’s made right here in the us of a learn more about caltechweapons.com innovation performance caltech k-e-l-t-e-c weapons.com tell them dana sent you and now all of the news you would probably miss it’s time for dana’s quick five I saw this last night as I was getting ready to go to bed. And you guys know how I love thinking of, or like love asking my husband insane questions right before I go to bed. And then he’s just like, would you just please stop talking? God help me. Headline scientist calculates. I wanted to know this, the size of a meatball made from the entire human race. I was shocked because I thought if you took all the people on the planet and you made us into one giant meatball, that it would be huge meatball. It’s not, though. I’m so disappointed. So if you made a meatball from the entire human race, it’s absolutely weenie tiny. It’s maybe two and a half times as tall as New York’s Empire State Building, maybe around three times the size of Paris’s Eiffel Tower. It is actually tiny. For 7.8 billion people, Juan, that’s what it would look like. That’s it. That’s all the people on Earth in one meatball.
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So they’re grinding this all up and putting this into a ball?
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Well, I’m just saying, if you wanted to know this, you know, maybe trivia night or something. That’s interesting. I just, I can’t believe this. Some people are like, is this, are you okay? Is this, no, no, no. But think about it. Like, what would it be if we were all in the ball? There you go. There’s your answer right there. I’m shook. Shooketh. Let’s see here. This is interesting. Meta signed a nuclear power deal with Constellation to fuel AI. Okay. So Meta Platform, they signed this contract with Constellation Energy for emissions-free nuclear energy from the Clinton Clean Energy Center in Clinton, Illinois. The parent company announced that it entered into a 20-year purchase agreement with them so they can get emissions-free nuclear energy so they can support their operations. That’s wild. We’re turning into the Matrix. It’s the matrix. You’re going to see people in pods and stuff being harvested. I’m saying a giant plume of Saharan dust is headed for. It’s not just headed to Florida. It’s headed for a significant portion of the United States. And it’s going to sweep into Texas as well. Dust is carrying it. Wind’s carrying it across the Atlantic. It’s a great wonder of the weather world, but it’s headed our way in days. And it’s going to be weird and bad for allergies. Stick with us as we move. Our partners that help bring you the program. It’s our friends over at All Family Pharmacy. They make it so easy to get the medications that you need. No gatekeeping by Big Pharma. No gatekeeping from the government as well. And there was an executive order signed on May 12th to lower prescription costs so we can stop paying more than other countries. and you know you i mean there’s you deserve medicines for fair prices without totally egregious markups uh and uh all family pharmacies offering a summer sale right now 20 off of your entire order and that’s going to give you a little extra breathing room and their prices are already affordable first off right now through june they’re offering 20 off site wide no insurance is required i mean they have licensed doctors in all 50 states you get fast shipping right to your door you can get your stuff in as little as two to three days If you’re in a pinch, which I’ve absolutely done that, and they have come in clutch. And you can get everything that you need. Your day-to-day medications, antibiotics, ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, everything. Visit allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana and enjoy 20% off using promo code Dana20. Do not wait for permission to protect yourself and your family. That’s allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana. Coupon code Dana20 to save 20%. The gay everything. It’s the gay everything month. Again, Memorial Day gets a day. Veterans Day gets a day. But, you know. And then they did Air Canada. Can we talk about Air Canada for a minute? Oh, my gosh. It’s the Terrence and Phillip airline. Okay. I need to read this tweet that they put up because I don’t understand this at all. Okay. So… Actually, we might need Juan to literally show the tweet because I don’t even know how to read this. It says, our first all minus 2SLGBTQIA plus flight. Okay, first off, what is that? Oh gosh, do I want to Google this? I don’t want my algorithm to show me a bunch of gay stuff now. It doesn’t even recognize it. I don’t even know what this is. Why is it a minus 2SL?
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What?
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I don’t know. It’s just what it says. So, minus 2SLGBTQIA plus flight was a heartfelt celebration reflecting our unwavering commitment to inclusivity and equality in the air and on the ground. Can you fly the damn plane? That’s all we care about. You know, are you able to fly the plane? See, this is the Air Canada thing. Watch.
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It was a bit of a range of emotions this morning, coming here and getting dressed for this flight. Are they Quebec? Oh, are they Quebec? Blah, blah, blah. Okay, great.
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Blah, blah, blah.
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On purpose. Makes sense. We are doing the first ever, let me get that one straight because a few letters have been added to this one, 2S LGBTQIA plus flight ever in Canada.
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What is 2S?
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There’s something in there that represents me as well. So it was a bit of joy having the opportunity to do this flight today. Okay, can you fly the plane?
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You know, I don’t care what… I don’t care. Can you fly the plane? Can you fly the plane? That’s all I care about.
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Did you cover your mouth?
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I did.
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Okay, good.
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No, but I like to go to bed with the men. Okay, but that’s… Are you going to be at, like, if we run into a bird, can you fly it out? Yeah, Lorraine says that’s two-spirit. I still don’t even understand what that… That means you’re possessed. That’s possession. You’ve got a devil. What? Yes, you’re LGBTQ. That’s what that means. Just I’m just curious why there’s so much emphasis on that. And. Not, you know, other than that does Brian over the Dallas Cowboys. A lot of people were criticizing him and they just need to shut up their mouths. He slammed the NFL as a gay pride post resurfaced. So it was an older post from 2021. It was a 30 second video. Remember the video where they’re like football is gay. Football is lesbian. Football is beautiful. Football is queer. Football is transgender. Football is for everyone. And he had said, these are wild statements to make. And he goes, I’m going to probably tell my boys that football is none of these things. I have nothing against gays, but this is far from right. Go does Bryant. Yes. And he is. I mean, he’s right. That was a stupid thing that they put out. And, of course, you know, the activists immediately. They’re like, gay people are persecuted. Well, shut up. No, they’re not. You know where they’re being persecuted? In Gaza. Oh, what? And a lot of these countries that you think are so much better and a lot of these nations that aren’t their own countries that you think are so much better than the United States. All of the people out there with the picnic blankets and the Gazan flag that think that they wouldn’t be thrown off a roof the second they landed. Come on.
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Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Absurd Truth: South Park Goes After Trump AGAIN.