Join Dana Lash as she delves into the absurdities of current events with a humorous twist. From the wild antics of Florida Man, whose recent escapades include a shocking recipe theft and a stolen fire engine, to the heated debates surrounding the new White House ballroom, there’s never a dull moment. Dana mixes a sharp political commentary stew with the lighter, more bizarre happenings to create an engaging and informative episode, perfect for anyone looking to keep up with the oddities and controversies rocking today’s headlines.
Israeli hostages are released and the war stops in Gaza, but the people who screamed about ending genocide are suddenly silent. Biden administration figures call the Middle East deal bittersweet because they think they deserve the credit. And the shutdown fight highlights what a complete disaster Obamacare is, just like we said it would be. I’m Greg Karambas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We’ll give you the top news, some good laughs, and we’ll be done in less than 30 minutes. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 08 :
Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
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It’s his life mission to make bad decisions. It’s time for Florida Man.
SPEAKER 01 :
Gosh, I have some really stupid ones and really weird ones, too, that I didn’t think that you could… Actually, there’s something you could get popped for, but I guess you can’t. All right, so first up, let’s do… What one do I want? Okay, let me do. I saw this one. Actually, this is one of the first non-insane ones that Florida woman Amber sent me. A cook was arrested for stealing secret recipes from a Doral restaurant in Florida. A Florida man was caught on camera stealing secret recipes from a Doral restaurant. They arrested him on a felony charge Monday. The staff at Mordisco, Miami, noticed three of their recipe books had gone missing. And they identified their line cook, Carlos Marquez, as the guy doing it. They said that he, 50 years old, was seen stealing these recipes out of these cookbooks on October 12th. And the restaurant specializes in Venezuelan-style steaks, appetizers, and other food, according to police. And he has… I didn’t know they did that. So they said he works – the other place that he works at is a sandwich and smoothie shop that doesn’t sell Venezuelan food. So they had no idea what he was going to do with the books. So that’s a felony. He’s out on $2,500 on bond. That’s wild. I wonder how they like figured out – because doesn’t it have to be like a monetary amount to get –
SPEAKER 13 :
Well, I mean, if those recipes were used in the restaurant for how many years, how much money did they make off of those recipes? That’s true. That’s a loss.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah, that’s true. That’s a good point. A Florida man stole a fire engine and crashed into a vehicle after a joyride in Tampa. They said that Warren Scudder, 59 years old, stole the fire engine around 930 in the morning while firefighters were inside St. Joseph’s Hospital. He drove off and crashed into a Lexus and then continued driving it around for another mile and a half before he was surrounded by officers. He was arrested, charged with grand theft auto and hit and run. He has a criminal history. I’m sure you’re surprised about that. He filed a false report of a bomb in 2020 in Pinellas County. So the driver had to be evaluated of the Alexis for hip pain at the hospital. So there you go. Let’s see this. Oh, so a Florida man deliberately accelerated his BMW towards children playing in the street after he argued with them. Todd Norwood, 45 years old. He looks like that guy, like that guy. There were kids riding e-bikes in the street, and he allegedly accelerated his BMW towards them. This was on Saturday, and they said he drove his red BMW in the direction of the group and apparently struck a 13-year-old boy. His wife was in the passenger seat, was arrested and accused of battering one of the other kids during the altercation. Yeah, they, wow. I can’t even believe this. So why are you fighting with kids in the first place? If you’re worried about kids behaving unsafely, that’s what law enforcement is for since their parents aren’t doing the job. But e-bikes, I get nervous about those because I see kids. There was a kid not far from our area that got hit on his e-bike because he just crossed and I guess didn’t gauge traffic well enough. It is the folks over at Kel-Tec, the KS7 Gen 2 shotgun. If you’re in the market for a shotgun, check out Kel-Tec’s KS7, the Gen R8, the second gen. It’s packed with upgrades. You have a five-slot Picatinny-style accessory rail. You can add vertical grips, lights, keep it flush, sleek with a cap if you want. It’s a smoother pump action, so you have faster, cleaner cycling, plus enhanced durability. All the original advantages are there. The ultra lightweight, it just, you know, under seven pounds unloaded, compact bullpup design, maneuverability in tight spaces, ambidextrous downward shell ejection, seven plus one capacity for all of it. Great for home defense, range days. It works well for seasoned shooters and first-timers. MSRP is just $639, so it’s super affordable. All accessible, well within reach. Check it out. It’s from KeltecWeapons.com. K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com. It’s the KS7 Gen 2. Tell them that Dana sent you.
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SPEAKER 01 :
Can we for one moment talk about the absolute national emergency of the White House ballroom? It’s so bad, guys. The left is apoplectic. They’re apoplectic because POTUS is building… a ballroom and it’s on like a little, the best way I can put it is like a little car park on the east wing. So you have the west wing and then you have the east wing. The original White House, which is the historic building, is untouched. And the wings are actually They’re relatively new. I mean, you had Roosevelt, FDR. I mean, Barack Obama put in a basketball court, for crying out loud. Who was it? One of them put in a pool. Somebody put in a pool there. But it’s crazy the amount of weeping and gnashing of teeth that is taking place as a result of this. I think it was JFK. Did JFK put the poll in there? I think so, yeah. So you had the West Wing, and I saw this tweet from Maria Shriver.
SPEAKER 13 :
FDR, I think.
SPEAKER 01 :
Well, Teddy Roosevelt did the West Wing. I know that. So it says Taft did the – he did the Oval. FDR was the one who did the East Wing. He added an indoor pool. But I thought JFK did like upgrades to the pool or something. And then they gutted the White House at one point and they even were redoing some of the structural things. One of them added a bowling alley. Obama added a basketball court. And I’m just trying to figure out why people – this is just the little car park part. So on the East wing specifically, you have this little, I mean, for the lack of a better way to put it, I’m calling it a car park and it’s just a little strip that’s on the East wing. I’m looking actually at an aerial photo of it. So you have the white house, you have the West wing, say it’s on your left, West wings on your left, uh, East Wing, and then the demolition, the strip that’s on the outside of that East Wing, that’s where they’re putting the ballroom. So if you actually look, you can see it’s highlighted in yellow there. If you’re watching the simulcast, the demolition was just on that yellow strip. That’s where they’re putting the ballroom. That’s where it goes. And that’s evident when you see the construction photos. Where the, I mean, it’s right there by the gate. That’s the only work that they’re doing. And Trump, by the way, is doing it himself and through private donations. There’s not a single cent of taxpayer dollars that are being used on this. And so that’s all it is. Oh my gosh. They are acting like he is setting fire to the church that’s in the park in front of the white. Oh wait, that’s what Antifa did. Okay. They are, I mean, they’re freaking out over it. You even had Hillary Clinton, who was so upset over this, guys. Hillary Clinton. You know, she was one of the, she’s a former first lady. She feels very strongly about this. Don’t put that one up yet. Don’t give it away. Golly, guys. People. People. She tweeted, it’s not his house, space, space. It’s your house, space, space. And he’s destroying it. Okay. So the picture is, again, that little strip that we showed you, the aerial photo. Close, but no cigar. If we want to talk about the sanctity, and isn’t that how, who was it that said, like, they were acting like it was a sanctified place, right? Maria Shriver was saying she was upset over it and she was going on and on and on about it. Saying that it was just so bad. Oh, it’s so, I mean, what he’s doing. It’s just breaking history. She was very upset. She said, it breaks my heart. Oh, hundreds of millions for a new ballroom. Oh my gosh. They’re all upset. Hillary Clinton was very upset. She was just raging all over the last several days over this. The sanctity of the White House, the left says. I remember a time when I was in high school and Bill Clinton, going into college, Bill Clinton was, he’s going to go for another term. Do you remember all of that stuff with that Monica Lewinsky? I mean, if we want to talk about the sanctity of the White House, Bill Clinton received oral romantical times literally under the resolute desk while he took phone calls from world leaders. If you want to have a discussion as to what is going to rock the sanctity of the White House, they’re all upset over this. But Bill Clinton turned the executive office into a brothel. Bill Clinton was grabbing ladies and getting serviced right there in the Oval Office. I mean, it was the thing that he had to admit when they were remember the big old court case. It all started with Whitewater and then went into Paula Jones and then went into Jennifer Flowers and everything else. All of it came out. Bill Clinton was on the phone with world leaders being serviced by Monica Lewinsky, who was on her knees under the Resolute Desk. So let’s let’s spare everybody the talk about the sanctity of the White House, particularly when it comes to Democrats who also turn the Senate chamber into their own porn set. Remember their gay porn set. They did that. It’s a new addition to the White House. It’s not even considered the historic part of the White House. It is. He’s paying for it himself, along with private donations. And it’s just the little car park strip. Literally, they park vehicles under it. It was just that little strip on the side of the East Wing. Now, in that context, does that not look absolutely ridiculous to you? No pun intended. Does it not look insane? See, I’m saying this is this is it’s crazy. The weeping and gnashing of teeth over this. They haven’t done a single bit. It’s not like he’s the Bidens and he’s enriching himself by merchandising out his executive office or any of his other making money for his family like that. That’s what the Bidens were doing. By the way, there’s a criminal investigation into that ongoing. Huh? I mean, I don’t know. Audio sound by two. Cut to this is what this is what POTUS was saying about the pool because there is a pool in their swimming pool. Listen.
SPEAKER 06 :
and we’ve had press conferences we finished it about a month ago this is as you see over here the presidential walk of fame and we had this long wall with half windows because that used to be a swimming pool on the other side of the wall that was the swimming pool where jackie would say i hear women inside are women inside quite a famous i’m not saying anything this was a part of a movie And the Secret Service said, no, ma’am, there’s no women inside, ma’am. I’m sorry, ma’am, you’re going to have to move along. But I hear women inside. No, ma’am, you’ll have to move along, ma’am. So that was the famous swimming pool. Now it’s even worse. It’s for the media. They covered the pool up. They covered the pool up and now it’s for the media. And I think we have a small representative group. I don’t think they allowed the rest of them. I can’t believe it. What happened? They’re all on the other side of the wall. Can you believe it?
SPEAKER 01 :
So, I mean, it just doesn’t all of the it’s all performative. It’s also performative for these people that are so upset over it. Stop it. He’s not he’s not doing anything to the actual White House itself. It’s not even considered a part of the original historical structure because it was actually done relatively, relatively recent. And also, can I be real? For the longest time, I did not know that we didn’t have a ballroom. And it kind of makes sense considering all of the events that are held, all of the things that are done. I just think it’s better, especially for a security standpoint, to have everything in-house and have everything locked down. Don’t you guys agree? I think that it works better. America’s tap water is a cocktail of heavy metals and toxins, the result of corroded pipes that we should have replaced decades ago. Let me just ask anybody in Flint, Michigan. You got lead, heavy metals, rust, basically liquid poison right out the tap. So when I tried Cove Pure on my counter, it was so easy to No plumber, no drilling. You just plug it in and pick your water temperature on the touch screen. And honestly, it actually tastes like water, not like death. So that’s why I use the Cove Water Purifier to keep my family safe. Unlike the government, Copier actually does its job. Lead in your water doesn’t stop at a gross taste. It can actually cause a host of serious medical issues. But yeah, sure, go ahead. Trust the city with your kid’s health. I mean, what could go wrong? Copier’s ClearWave technology removes up to 99.9% of contaminants. So don’t wait for the government to help. take back control of your family’s health, and finally drink water the way that it was meant to be. Visit CovePure.com slash Dana for $200 off. That’s CovePure.com slash Dana.
SPEAKER 12 :
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It’s time for Dana’s Quick Five.
SPEAKER 01 :
I’ve heard stories like that. There’s a ton of these. A service dog alerted a mom to a little boy’s low blood sugar from the other side of the house. A lot of the times they’re caught on the cameras inside the house. I mean, this is sweet. I’ve seen a lot of these stories. It was a cocker spaniel that did it, that alerted the parent to the low blood sugar from the other side of the house. Type 1 diabetes and another sucrase. That’s a lot of consonants. Deficiency. There are the best people. Dogs are the best. Let’s see. Also, 21.7 million Americans are projected to cruise next year, setting a new record on like the ships. It’s interesting. That’s a 4.5 increase over, I got to tell you, it was very nice going with the MRC thing, but I’m not one of those big boat people. Right. I’m very weird. And it’s just different, you know, just a different thing. That’s a lot of people. Some of those boats are so enormous. I don’t get anxiety, but I feel like I could because they’re so huge.
SPEAKER 13 :
And I’ve seen too many run aground and tip over.
SPEAKER 01 :
Well, yeah, that was with, wasn’t that Captain Drunk?
SPEAKER 13 :
Yes, both of them.
SPEAKER 01 :
Sitting on the wire for my in-ear monitor. Apologies there for a second. Let’s see. Also, ooh. So, and I’m trying to figure out how this happened. There was an object that hit a United Flights windshield, and they think it could have been a weather balloon. Now, remember when we talked to you, this was last week, we had headlines about this flight that was going to Los Angeles from Salt Lake City. Or no, sorry, it was going to Los Angeles, had to be diverted to Salt Lake City because an object struck its windshield at 36,000 feet. It cracked and injured the pilot even. And they think it may have been a weather balloon. or aliens can you imagine you’re flying a plane and you hit a little alien crazy uh let’s see a what is this story this is a british story they’re weird about camping up there oh this couple was found dead in their camper van okay
SPEAKER 12 :
Instead of the tragedy, they just, like, oh, look, they were in love. Look how in love they were.
SPEAKER 01 :
They were pretending to be homeless. I mean, I guess if that makes them happy, you know, okay. Four arrested in an alleged attempt to smuggle gold powder into Japan in their britches. Oh. This is in Tokyo. They were arrested for trying to smuggle about eight kilograms of gold worth about half over half a million dollars. They busted them. I wonder how they busted them. Is that something you can smell for like powder, gold powder? Interesting. Stick with us.
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I think that if you can play church bells, you can pray the call to prayer. We are as American as anyone else. And don’t take any BS from anyone.
SPEAKER 01 :
No, you can’t. Welcome back to the program, by the way. Dana Lash with you. We’re at the bottom of this first hour. No, you can’t. You want to know why? Because they’re not even remotely the same. That was Mehdi Hassan. What is he on? PMSNBC. I don’t know. Wait, what? MS? There’s multiple sclerosis. Okay. What is it? So it’s just, what is MS and the MSMB? I don’t really care, but I’m curious.
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Microsoft.
SPEAKER 01 :
Okay. So nobody knows what he’s on. We really don’t know. He’s just some dude. He was saying that, yes, you need to just be able, he’s saying to American Christians, if you can have your church bells, we can have our Islamic prayer call. Well, they’re not even remotely the same, first off. I mean, when church bells ring, it’s bells, right? And it’s also used not just as a way to, you know, it’s usually played a couple of, you know, maybe twice a day. And then whenever they wanted to, historically, whenever there was to warn the town of an impending attack or funerals or something like that, it was sort of like the old timey village message board in a way. the way that it was used. The Islamic call to prayer is incredibly in your face, invasive demand that you drop everything and start praying to Mecca. It is a bunch of, it’s a religious command is what it is. And I… I mean, church bells, there’s no verbalization in a church bell. There’s nothing. There’s no religious command in a church bell. There’s no religious doctrine in a church bell. There’s no prayer in a church bell. Unlike the Islamic call, which is literally all of those things. It’s delivered loudly over loudspeakers. It sounds like a tornado alert. And they say what they talk about Allah being God and Muhammad being is whatever messenger five times. I mean, and they do that multiple like all throughout the day, like five or six times a day. And it lasts for forever. It is incredibly loud. It is a command. It is a demand that you drop everything and you engage in this practice now. So, no, they’re not the same. And if Mehdi Hassan wants it, then he can move back to his country of origin because he hasn’t been here long enough to be able to give orders to the rest of us. I don’t consider you a fellow American. And here’s why. You don’t have within you that animating spirit of liberty. And aside from everything else, ethnicity, religion, et cetera, that is the thing that makes that unites us all as Americans. And he is without it. It’s that animating spirit of freedom. He lacks it. Can you imagine? I can’t imagine being so full of myself and high on my own supply that I go to another country and act like I’ve been here a couple of years. I’m going to tell you how to do everything in your nation. This is the problem with complete, unmitigated immigration. You come here and you join the American family. You be free. You don’t turn us into the hellscape that you came from. You come here and you be free. You enjoy the freedoms that we have. That’s it. You don’t boss people around and you don’t demand that we play these loud, commanding music. verbalizations that order people to drop everything and fall to their knees and pray. Kids can’t even pray in school, but this guy wants to sit here and blast this stuff throughout towns multiple times a day. I don’t think so, partner. Not going to happen. Good night. You don’t get to impose, and that is an imposition, by the way. Having a verbalized command, that is an imposition. It’s not a church bell. Comparing the two is asinine. And it’s not a legitimate comparison. It’s illiberal. Not even remotely accurate. But this is what I’ve been seeing. I see people on the left. Now they’re all they’re going to go back to the tactic that they used post 9-11, which is call everything that they don’t like Islamophobia. And they’re really doing this with Ma’am Donnie. I’ve seen this over and over again with a number of elected officials, and I’ve tweeted some of it out. But they are all in on trying to defend him. Like, for instance, and Hassan and others have said, oh, my gosh, the levels of Islamophobia in the country are off the charts right now. People are criticizing him. Anybody who accurately points out anything with Ma’am Donnie, they’re criticizing them as being Islamophobic. Like, for instance, if you have an if you take offense to Ma’am Donnie refusing to condemn the phrase globalize the intifada and refuse to. or associate with people who incorporate it as a part of their daily, everyday sayings, then you’re Islamophobic because you’re criticizing him for it. So they’re trying to dodge criticism by claiming that everything is Islamophobic. Now, keep in mind, this is a guy who literally was campaigning with an unindicted co-conspirator in 9-11. And unindicted, not because there wasn’t evidence there, but because the government had to come up, I guess, with some kind of deal to get this guy, although he was testifying in favor of the Islamists on their behalf. But I don’t know. I mean, I still think the government could have brought charges, but that’s the thing that’s 20-something years ago. But his kids are all arrested serving life sentences. All of this imam, Siraj Wahaj, this guy, who Mamdani was literally campaigning with all last week. He was. There’s photos, videos of them everywhere together. All of this imam’s kids are serving life sentences in jail. And do you know why? Because they were running, I mean, and I’m using this not like the left, literally a kiddie terror training camp in New Mexico where they were training kids to go into schools and shoot people and go into buildings and shoot because no one would expect a kid to pull out a gun, right? They were actually doing that. They got raided. They kidnapped some kids. One of them was his son. He left his wife in Georgia and he took, and this is Siraj Wahaj’s grandson, took the boy to New Mexico. The boy apparently dealt with seizures and some other neurological issues and required medication that Wahaj refused to give him. And the kid was dead. When they raided it, that kid was dead. They found his remains on the property. Apparently they didn’t even give him a proper burial. That’s this imam, all his kids serving life sentences. Do you know what the common denominator in that is besides their Islamism? It’s the dad, the imam. That’s who Mamdani was campaigning with all last week. So it’s not Islamophobia when you’re talking about a statistical fact. That’s not Islamophobia. And if you want to talk about the levels of hatred, the levels of anti, the levels of bigotry against Christians and non-Muslims has always been off the charts. Go to Saudi Arabia and try to play some church bells. Go to Qatar and try to play church bells. Go to any Arab nation and try to play church bells. Go to any Islamic country and try to play church bells. Not going to happen. So pound sand. Not going to happen. This is insane. This idea that, oh, it’s all you can’t criticize. So they’re pulling this out of the bag. Hopefully people are smart enough to reject it. But Mamdani is leading in New York. New York is going to be dead after this. They are going to be a city that is utterly destroyed when he gets into the into office. And they deserve it because they voted for it. I don’t feel any empathy at all. No, I don’t. This is a voting bloc that has voted Marxist for forever and now they’re getting what they wanted. I mean, I see some of these other people. Oh, we got to leave New York. Leftists. We got to leave New York. We can’t have Mamdani. You paid the way for him. Think about this. All of these people out there, they wanted socialist health care. They wanted socialist this. They wanted state run this. And then suddenly they get it and they realize only then how immediately it hurts their bottom line. And then they don’t want it anymore. No, no, no, no, no. You bought the ticket. Now you got to take the ride. And it’s just starting. Keep your arms and legs inside of the vehicle at all times. This tactic, they’ve done this for a long time, a very long time. And I’m just saying that’s where I don’t think that people are going to go with it. But they’re not the same. The church bells and all that, definitely not the same. Looking at some of our audio here as well. This, by the way, let’s do a flashback. This is cut 18. This is New York City mayoral candidate Zoran Mamdani. Just listen to this.
SPEAKER 07 :
There is still, you know, this illusion, and it’s partially a result of settler colonialism, that all of us can become New Yorkers, that all of us can settle into this city. And yet there would be these moments where I would be reminded by someone whose intent was to tell me that you do not belong. And one of those first moments was on 9-11, when before I knew what had happened, my teacher had pulled me and a Muslim classmate of mine out of the class and told us that something has happened and you may be bullied. And I want you to tell me if that happens. And frankly, I was lucky because most Muslim students in the city were not given that kind of care from their teachers. And yet in that moment, I realized that I was not simply another classmate in a middle school.
SPEAKER 01 :
Yeah. That didn’t happen. I don’t believe you. I don’t believe anything. But he was interesting. It’s an illusion that they can become New Yorkers and assimilate into the city. Assimilation is what it takes to make this free country work. That’s one of the reasons why the left decided that they wanted to reject melting pot. Do you know that they try to have it two ways? They want the idea. They sit here and say, oh, we can’t. Everything has to be inclusive, et cetera, et cetera. But when you do it, they they bristle. They don’t like the term melting pot because they need these cultural divisions to replace the economic warfare. It’s a different form of Marxism. It’s just switching out the variable, but it’s the same formula. Very interesting.
SPEAKER 08 :
Thanks for tuning in to today’s edition of Dana Lash’s Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven’t already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 05 :
Listen as students and young adults interview well-respected CEOs on our national radio show, realworldleaders.org, to learn secrets for success and how to use them to propel their careers.
SPEAKER 03 :
This was super interesting, and especially to see that everything can lead to something else, like how cooking led you to be, you know, the founder, the president of a business, and even like your activities in high school, middle school, like led to this moment.
SPEAKER 11 :
Adeline, what are you looking to do with the rest of your life? Do you have a sense of that?
SPEAKER 03 :
No, not really, but I’m exploring a lot of interests right now and I enjoy music and languages. So I think maybe something in that area.
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Brett, somebody that’s interested in languages and music, you think there’s any hope for them? Oh my gosh.
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I mean, in our world today, everybody speaks different languages and they work with people that speak different languages, have different cultures. That’s great.
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To hear more and to help us introduce your high school GED work ready and college students to our CEOs, visit our website at realworldleaders.org. That’s realworldleaders.org.
Absurd Truth: Another Church Walkout